


I'm Not A Kid Any More

by DemonSaiborg



Category: Shingeki no Kyojin | Attack on Titan
Genre: Alcohol, Alternate Universe - College/University, Anal Sex, Anxiety Disorder, Blindfolds, Blowjobs, Bottom Levi (Shingeki no Kyojin), Child Death, Denial of Feelings, Edging, Emotional Manipulation, Eren Is a Little Shit, Established Relationship, Explicit Sexual Content, Fear of Flying, First Time, Fluff and Smut, Foster Care, Hospitalization, Hospitals, Implied/Referenced Homophobia, Implied/Referenced Suicide, Light Bondage, M/M, Marking, Masturbation, Mental Breakdown, Mental Health Issues, Mental Instability, Mutual Pining, Obsession, Panic Attacks, Past Character Death, Public Hand Jobs, Restraints, Sabotage, Self-Harm, Shameless Smut, Smut, Social Anxiety, Stalking, Suicide, Suicide Attempt, Teacher-Student Relationship, Threats of Violence, Top Eren Yeager, Violence, Wet Dream, Yandere Eren Yeager
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2018-11-26
Updated: 2019-06-09
Packaged: 2019-08-29 21:59:33
Rating: Explicit
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 55
Words: 179,632
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/16752238
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/DemonSaiborg/pseuds/DemonSaiborg
Summary: Mr.Ackerman had rejected his favourite student's declaration of love in high school, but how will he react when that same obsessed student earns a place in his university class years later?The boy's unbridled love hadn't burned out at all, in fact it had only grown stronger, and more dangerous.This time it was going to be harder to shake him off.He wasn't a kid any more.





	1. Confession

**Author's Note:**

> I'll be updating the tags with each chapter, so make sure to keep checking them. :)

Today was the day.

After all the long years of admiring and fantasising, today was finally the day that he was going to confess his love. 

If he had to wait another day, spend another night alone in his bedroom wondering how his love would react to his declaration, he thought that he might just explode. 

All those sleepless nights that he spent agonising over his smile, his body, his scent, they would finally come to an end. Eren was sure that his feelings were reciprocated, they had to be. He was the only one that Levi made eye contact with, the only one that he praised. The two were meant to be together, Eren just knew it! 

“Eren!” 

“Huh?” A loud voice startled him out of his daydream, and he zapped back into reality to find a pair of glistening blue eyes gazing at him in concern. 

“Eren, you were daydreaming again! Were you even listening to me? We’re going to be late for class!” 

“A-Armin... sorry!” Eren dizzied the image of Levi’s smirking face out of his mind, feeling the prickling heat of a faint blush spreading across his cheeks. 

“C’mon, we don’t want to be late today, it’s Mr. Ackerman’s last day. I really don't want to make him angry!” Armin shook long strands of blonde hair from his flustered face as he spoke. Eren grinned, his friend was usually so calm and collected. He guessed that the threat of a punishment from Mr. Ackerman was enough to worry almost any student, but not Eren. 

“Yeah,” Eren said, trying his best to mask the smile that tugged at the side of his pursed lips. “And by the way, Armin. Don’t wait for me after class today. There’s something that I need to talk to Mr. Ackerman about.” 

Armin and Eren took their seats at the front of the class, as they always did, and despite their rush to get there, they weren’t the last ones to arrive. In fact, for the first time, even Mr. Ackerman was a little late himself. Eren heard the door shut, and his familiar footsteps pacing across the wooden floor. A shiver ran up his spine. 

“Ok class. Shut up now.” 

The students were silenced immediately, and Eren could feel his body tense up at the sound of the teacher’s stern voice. It sounded as cold and emotionless as always, and Eren loved it. 

“So I’ve graded your essays,” The sound of rustling paper echoed through the stale air as Mr. Ackerman began to place the marked assignments down on student’s desks. “And I’ll be honest, overall it was disappointing.” 

The class grumbled and moaned in unison, staring down at their averagely marked papers in dismay as their teacher placed them on their desks, not giving them a second of eye contact, a moment of acknowledgement. Eren could hear the footsteps growing closer, the sound of the rustling getting louder, until he could smell Levi’s cologne right by his side. The hypnotising scent hit his nostrils, and he could feel his breathing deepening as he desperately tried to fill himself up with as much of it as he possibly could. He gazed up at the man in awe as he placed the paper down on his desk. 

“Except you, Eren.” Mr. Ackerman glanced down at Eren, meeting bright, green eyes with his blank stare. “Good job, once again.” 

The boy was practically beaming. Levi looked right at him, again! He praised him, again! 

His eyes followed his teacher’s movements as he made his way up to the whiteboard at the front of the class. He was wearing that white shirt again, the one that clung to his slender frame, the one that you could see the contours of his muscular back through. It was fate that he was wearing that shirt today, on the day that Eren would confess his love. Not only that, but his pinstriped, black trousers. The ones that made his ass look amazing, so perky and round and... oh fuck. Eren bit his lip, drawing in a deep, shaky breath. He needed to calm himself. He didn’t think that he could handle another awkward boner under his desk again. 

Fuck, fuck, fuck. He silently cursed to himself. It was too late. 

This class was going to be torture, once again. At least this time, he would get his happy ending. 

 

An hour passed by agonisingly slowly, and Eren’s usual fantasising was interrupted by the shrill ringing of the school bell. Class was finally over. He gulped in anticipation. Now was the time. It was now or never. 

“Ok class before you go...” Mr. Ackerman called out to the class, the students halted their bag packing and gave him their full attention. Eren gazed at him longingly. he couldn’t quite stop his eyes from drifting down the man’s perfect frame. 

“So as most of you know, I’ll be leaving for my new job at Sakura University tomorrow. So this was your last lesson with me.” 

Eren could hear Jean sniggering in the background. He tore his eyes away from Levi to burn daggers into his stupid, smug face. 

“I just wanted to say thanks for a decent year, and goodbye.” 

The class stayed silent, staring at him like deer in headlights. Levi rolled his eyes, and Eren pinched his thigh under the table. He couldn’t let himself get turned on again, he’d only just managed to calm himself down! But damn, he loved it when Levi rolled his eyes like that.

“You can go now.” 

With that final confirmation, the students scattered. All except Eren. The room emptied one by one until it was just the two of them left. 

“Umm... can I help you with something?” Levi raised an eyebrow as he stared at the one remaining student stood behind his desk. He’d thought that the students would be dying to leave, this class was last thing on a Friday evening. Why was he still here?

“Mr... Mr. Ackerman... I...” 

Shit. He was lost for words, and now Levi was staring at him in utter confusion. Crap! What should he do? He hadn’t thought this far ahead. He took a deep breath, he could do this.

“Eren?” 

“Sir I... you’re leaving today and so I need to tell you something. Something important.” 

“Well go on then, Eren.” 

Levi stood with his arms folded across his chest, his head tilted to the side, letting soft, black hair fall over his forehead. His stern expression softened as the boy began to pace toward him, closing the gap between them at an alarming rate. Levi took a step backwards, his shoes squeaking against the floor, and before he knew it Eren was right in front of him. Their eyes met and Levi scowled to himself. How was this brat so damn tall already!? 

“Levi!” 

“Since when were students allowed to call me Levi?”

“I’m in love with you. I love you and I want you to know that before you leave.” The confession came out as more of a shout than Eren had expected, but he had finally said it. There was no going back now. 

“In love?...”

“Yes, sir.” 

Levi wasn’t sure what expression he was pulling , but he could feel his jaw drop, and his heart began to pound like a drum. 

“Eren, you do know that I’m nearly thirty, don’t you?” 

“Yes, sir. I don’t care about that. It doesn’t stop me from loving you.” Eren could feel the passion burning in his heart as he spoke, but he couldn’t understand why Levi was looking at him with such a horrified expression on his face. 

“You... you don’t know what you’re saying.” Levi protested, taking another step backwards, away from the boy’s intense gaze. 

“Of course I know, I’ve known for a long time. We’re meant to be together.” 

“Wha....?” This couldn’t be happening, right? Was this some kind of joke? 

“Sir I...” Eren reached a hand out to grasp his teacher’s palm, but Mr. Ackerman snatched it away immediately. 

“Eren! This is highly inappropriate, I’m your teacher!” 

“Not any more.”

“Well yes... but you’re way too young to be having these feelings towards an adult.” 

“I’m not too young!” Eren protested. He could feel bitter tears stinging at the corners of his eyes. This was not how this was supposed to happen! “I know you love me too, you only look at me! You only praise me! You've even smiled at me before, you don’t smile at anyone! You...”

“That’s enough!” Levi’s booming voice echoed through the classroom, and Eren stopped in his tracks. He gazed in anguish at his teacher’s blushing face. His eyes were narrowed, his brow furrowed, but he spoke calmly. “I’ll admit Eren, that I’ve played favourites with you in class, because you try harder than anyone else, but this is wrong. I don't love you, Eren. You need to get over this stupid crush and get on with your studies. I’m an adult, and you’re... you’re just a kid.” 

“But I...”

“End of discussion, Eren.” 

The tears that once stung the corners of his eyes were now rolling down his pale face. This couldn’t be happening! He turned and ran, slamming the classroom door behind him as he left. He couldn’t let Levi see him like this. 

He burst into the bathrooms, throwing himself into a cubicle. His body shook violently as he tried to masks his sobs. This was all wrong! This wasn’t just some silly crush, they were meant to be together! Weren’t they? ... 

Slowly, but surely, the tears subsided. Eren began to gather his thoughts. 

It couldn’t be true. Levi had to love him. 

The door of the cubicle was thrown open, and Eren paced toward the mirror, his green eyes were bloodshot, and with two hands grasped tightly onto the sink in front of him, he stared at himself in determination. Eren was gorgeous, and he knew it. Thick dark hair fell almost over his piercing eyes, sculpting his handsome face. He’d even started working out when he realised that he was in love with Mr. Ackerman. There was nothing about him that Levi wouldn’t love! Right? 

‘It can’t be me.’ He told himself. ‘It’s got to be something else...’ 

He never broke the firm gaze on his own eyes in the mirror as he thought. 

‘Too young,’ he repeated back to himself, over and over. ‘It’s not that he doesn’t love me, it’s just that it’s not the right time... that’s it!’

‘Too young am I? Just a kid? Well, we’ll see about that.’ Eren’s lips twisted into a wide smile.

‘I won’t give up on you, Levi. I’ll study hard, and I’ll earn a place in your class at that damn university. I won’t be a kid forever, and I’ll never stop loving you.’ He hadn’t misinterpreted Levi’s feelings, no. He’d simply jumped the gun a little. Levi probably felt terrible about being attracted to someone so young! Right? That was all. That’s what he told himself. 

‘We’ll laugh about this day when we’re finally together. No matter what you think Mr. Ackerman... you will love me.’


	2. Reunited

Another day, another dollar.

Another year, another class full of fresh, beaming faces. 

Professor Ackerman wondered how long it would take for these ones to lose their eager smiles, how long it would take before the 9am lectures began to thin out, and the stress of the workload began to set in. Most of these poor kids had worked hard to get into a top class university like Sakura, but they were never truly ready for just how much more difficult their studies would become from here on out. Over the years that Levi had worked as a lecturer, he had seen student after student drop like flies out of his class. He’d had students complain about his strictness, his excessive workload, his unapproachability, but he didn’t care in the slightest. 

He didn’t want students in his class that weren’t dedicated. For Levi, it was either work hard, or get out. 

 

Eren’s eyes had been glued to his watch for seventeen minutes and twenty four seconds now. His tall, muscular body was pressed against the lecture room door; just softly enough so that the door didn’t swing open. He wanted to be as close to that room as he possibly could be. The new student was sure that he could smell the sweetness through the miniature cracks in the door hinges. He knew exactly who was inside that room. He could practically taste him. 

“Umm, excuse me.” 

Eren gasped, turning his body to find the source of the oh-so-rude interruption. He was surprised when he had to lower his head to meet a glistening pair of bright blue eyes. For a moment he thought that Armin’s tales of going overseas to study at Oxford had been fabricated, and he was stood right here in front of him; but no, this one was definitely a girl. 

“Is this professor Ackerman’s class for Linguistics?” The girl brushed strands of her shining blonde hair behind her ear, revealing porcelain skin, and cute round cheeks. 

“Yeah, it is.” Eren replied to her with bitter venom in his tone, secretly annoyed at the girl for ripping him away from the delightful scent of the lecture room door. 

“Oh, thank goodness!” The girl beamed up at him, the tension in her shoulders visibly dropping. “I’m so glad that I found the right room, although I suppose I am a little early. You too, huh?” 

Ugh. Was this girl going to stop talking to him soon? Or was Eren going to be forced to endure her small talk until he could enter the classroom? She answered his question soon enough. 

“I’m Historia, it’s really nice to meet you!” Historia. Eren said the name back to himself in his head. It was a nice name, he supposed. 

“I’m Eren.” There was little excitement in his voice. Eren knew that he sounded cold, distant. Knowing that fact sent an electric shiver up his spine. He sounded like Levi. 

Historia lowered her head, and Eren noticed a faint, pink blush staining her cheeks. “Eren, may I please sit next to you during the lecture? I’m feeling a little nervous and I don’t want to sit alone.” 

Good grief. He really was going to have to endure her for much longer, wasn’t he. He could feel the mild stages of panic setting in as he imagined Levi noticing him sitting at the front of the class with a beautiful, young woman, and getting the wrong idea about the two of them. He quickly shook those ideas out of his mind. Levi would know of his intentions soon enough. There was no need to worry. Plus, maybe it would be beneficial to have at least one friend in this class. 

“Yeah of course Historia, I’d love to sit with you!” He gave the girl his best false smile. Hmm, maybe that reaction had seemed a little too enthusiastic. Eren never had been good at gaging the appropriate level of emotional commitment in any social situation, but the declaration seemed to have worked, as Historia’s face was practically glowing in response. 

“Thank you so much Eren!” 

The next twenty minutes were filled with mindless small talk, as Historia babbled on about her previous studies, her home life, her friends. All the while Eren was inching closer to that lecture room door, taking in deep, prolonged breaths, knowing that he was breathing the same air is his love. Not long now and the two would be in the same room once again. He would get to see those dark, shadowed eyes, that gorgeous, slender body. He would get to hear Levi’s sensual voice, and watch his delicate movements as he wrote on a whiteboard. The thought alone was close to sending him into a state of pure bliss, but every time he was almost in his happy place, he would hear the girl’s voice droning on in the background. 

“So I’m studying French and Linguistics, I’ve always dreamed of teaching a language class in Paris, and...” Blah, blah, blah. Thank god she was taking French and not Japanese like Eren, he’d only been with her for a short while and he already needed a break. Plus that meant that as long as he didn't make any more friends, his weekly Japanese class would be a time for him to really connect with Levi. After all, the only reason that Eren was interested in taking the Japanese module was because he knew that Levi was the teacher.

The corridor began to fill with anxious, new faces. Almost all of the boys had their eyes fixed on Historia, some of the girls too. Eren knew that she was appealing to look at, y’know, to the common masses. He didn’t care though. It was almost time. Eren wasn’t even pretending to listen to Historia any more as he glared at his watch, counting down the seconds until he could enter the room. He could barely contain himself. 

 

Levi stood up straight, sighing deeply as students began to flood into the room. He hated first year classes. He hated them with a passion. They were so annoying, so needy. Most of them only cared about getting drunk and partying, being out of their parent’s clutches for the first time. In his experience, most of them would wisen up in a year or two, but until then... Ugh. 

“Ok class, shut up now.” The students simmered down, gazing at him with their youthful, bright eyes, probably wondering why their new professor looked so damn tired. 

“I’m going to keep the introduction brief. I’m Professor Ackerman, and I’m the main lecturer for this course, along with Professor Smith. You’ll meet him tomorrow.” Eren’s eyes trailed his body as he turned to write his name on the whiteboard. He was wearing the same kind of tight, white shirt that Eren loved him in back in high school, but the material of this one looked thicker, more expensive. It was no longer so see-through, and Eren huffed in disappointment. His perky ass was still tightly packed into his trousers however, and Eren could feel his sharp teeth grazing against the soft skin of his bottom lip as he took in the sight. 

His heart was pounding wildly. It had been so long since he had been able to share the same space as Levi so openly. Most of the time when he followed the man, he would have to hang back and wear a hood, praying not to be recognised. He would often frequent the same coffee shops as Levi, watching with a deep arousal as Levi’s perfect lips wrapped themselves around the rim of a coffee cup. Goodness knows how many of those used cups he’d stolen over the years. But now he was openly sitting right at the front of the class, not a soul between the two. The time was finally right. He was older now, more handsome, more intelligent. He knew that he could make Levi love him this time. It was all planned out. He just needed to play the game for a while. 

“So I’m gonna jump right in,” the professor’s hand began working rhythmically with the marker against the board. The movements of his wrist flowed smoothly, and the students behind him began to gasp and murmur as his complex creation took form across the whiteboard. There were a few words, but most of the drawing was lines and letters, all connecting to make a complicated diagram that nobody in the class had ever seen before. Well... nobody apart from Eren. 

“I see your blank stares,” he smirked, turning to face his dumbfounded students. Eren sunk his teeth into his curled index finger. That smirk, it was as if it had been torn straight from his fantasies and placed onto Levi’s flawless face. “I don’t expect any of you to understand what I’ve just drawn yet, but by the end of the year, this will be second nature to you all.”

He sighed, “can anybody tell me what this is?” 

The room was entirely silent, bar a few timid coughs and sniffles, but Eren’s hand shot up into the air as soon as the words had left Levi’s lips. The professor turned to face the boy in the front row. His green eyes glistened with a certain eagerness, and Levi was sure that he looked vaguely familiar. He was well built, toned arms tight against his black t-shirt. His long, dark hair was tied up in a rugged, messy bun. Hmm, Levi dismissed his earlier thought. There was no way that he knew this guy, he would’ve definitely remembered a guy that looked like ... this. 

“Yeah, you in the front.” 

Eren could feel butterflies battering his stomach, and his heart began to race. It had been years since Levi had addressed him directly with that deep, sexy voice. It was time to impress him. 

“That is a complex Syntax Tree, professor. ” Eren began. He could feel every set of eyes in the classroom drawn to him as he described each node, each tiny detail of the structure. In the corner of his eye, he could see Historia’s mouth hanging open. Eren almost squealed when he saw Levi raise an eyebrow in what he could only describe as surprise. Oh Levi, if you're surprised by this, just wait until you get to experience what I have in store for you over the next few months. 

“Well that’s a first.” A tiny grin tugged at the corner of the teacher’s lips, and his doting student melted into his seat. “That’s the level that I expect you all to be at by the end of the year, but it looks like you’re already there. Have you taken syntax classes before?” 

“No Sir, I taught myself.” Eren admitted truthfully. If only Levi knew how many sleepless nights he’d had over the years preparing for his arrival to Sakura. He had always been told that he was of average intelligence, but he knew this entire course inside and out. He didn’t have time for studying any more, and that's why he'd learnt all of the required material before arriving. He was here for Levi, nothing else. 

“Hmm,” Levi took another long, hard look at the boy before turning away. There was something familiar about him, but he just couldn’t quite put his finger on it. “Impressive.” 

 

Class ended, and students fled the scene as hastily as they could. Levi could swear that he saw steam coming out of a few of the student’s ears, the result of a totally fried brain. Those weaklings wouldn’t last a month in his class. 

“Don’t wait up for me, ok?” He heard the familiar voice say to someone behind him. “I’ve got to speak to the professor about something important.” Levi gave a quick glance to the side, and saw that the words were coming from that boy again. The one that knew all of the answers. The one that piqued his interest in a way that he couldn’t quite understand.

The room emptied entirely, until it was only the two of them left in stoney silence. 

As he walked towards Levi, the professor noticed the sway of his hips, the determined look on his face. Why was he looking at him like that? As he got closer, his height became more apparent too. 

“Tch,” Levi cursed himself under his breath. Why was this kid so damn tall? 

“Mr. Ackerman,” Eren grinned, flashing his dazzling, white teeth at the older man confidently. “It’s been a long time since I’ve been able to speak to you like this.” 

“Umm...” Levi furrowed his brow at his student. “Have we met before?” 

Eren was a little taken aback. Levi really didn’t remember him. He was almost offended until he realised: it must be because of how different he looked now. He’d watched Levi flicking through a men’s fashion catalogue once in his favourite coffee shop, carefully studying the way that his slim fingers turned the pages, and the way that his eyes wandered for slightly longer over the models with sleek, long hair. It was only appropriate for Eren to grow his hair out. He needed to appeal to his love’s tastes. 

“You don’t remember me, huh?” Eren smirked, taking a step closer to Levi. He really towered over him now. He looked so cute. So vulnerable, so submissive, Eren would just grab him and shove him against the wall with his damn tongue if he could... but no. That was not the way to earn Levi’s affection. That sort of behaviour could wait. 

“No.” Levi was as blunt as ever, and he was beginning to look impatient. Eren bit his lip, suppressing his animalistic urges deep down in his gut. 

“That’s a shame, I used to be your favourite student you know. Back at Chapel High School.” Levi still didn’t look convinced, was he playing coy? What a tease. “Eren Jaeger.” 

A switch flicked in Levi’s head, and suddenly he remembered. He remembered everything. 

“Oh.” That’s why he remembered him! This guy was the student who had confessed his love to him on his final day of work! Levi really didn’t think that he would ever cross paths with this guy again. All grown up. He looked so different now, but yet... strangely the same. He could feel his palms begin to sweat, and his heart pound against his ribcage. He centered himself with a deep breath. This was nothing to worry about. The boy’s stupid crush had probably faded years ago. Still... it was a strange coincidence. 

“Yes, Eren. I remember you.”

“I knew you would!” Eren was beaming back at his teacher, and Levi couldn’t help but feel a little flattered that the kid had really remembered him after all this time. He really must’ve been a decent teacher back in the day. 

“So, Eren. What brings you to Sakura? This is pretty far away from home, did you get a scholarship or something?” 

“Isn’t it obvious?” Eren chuckled as he spoke. Levi really was playing coy with him. How adorable! “I came here because of you...”

A sudden crash stopped Eren in his tracks as the lecture room door flung open behind him. The sound was quickly followed by the noise of chattering students, as the room began to fill back up once again. It was time for Professor Ackerman’s next class, and as much as he wanted to stay here in this moment with him, he loved him enough to let him do his job well. After all, he had to be on top form to keep this job, and stay as Eren’s professor. 

“Looks like it’s time for me to leave, Levi,” Eren stepped in closer, just enough to take in his love’s sweet, delicious scent. He grabbed his teacher’s hand, giving it a quick squeeze, but before Levi could protest, he had turned to leave. 

Levi stood baffled at the front of the class, still trying to process what had just happened. What did he mean by ‘I came here because of you...?’

 

Eren was still high from the fumes of Levi’s scent, gazing down at his hand in adoration, wondering if he ever really needed to wash that hand again. The feeling of Levi’s hand against his own was precious, even if it had only been for a moment. It was heaven. Eren could feel the heat in his body pooling around his gut, the blood rushing down south an an alarming rate, making him dizzy. 

He hadn’t been able to touch Levi like that in so long. It was just.... ugh. He decided that the next course of action would be to lock himself in a bathroom cubicle and relieve himself with the hand that his love had touched, thinking about his perfect, cute face all twisted into a smile just for him.


	3. Drinks with the Department

Eren tapped his fingers against the desk, resting his tired head in his hand. His eyes trailed around every dull inch of the room, focusing on anything but the lecturer today. He was bored stiff, listening to the low voice at the front of the classroom droning on about semantics and what not. Ugh, it’s not like he was actually interested in linguistic science. He was interested in Levi. 

This man was NOT Levi.

The boy’s curious eyes wandered over to Historia, who was sat by his side, looking more attentive than ever. Her pretty, blue eyes were fixed on the man at the front of the class, and she might as well have had huge, flashing love hearts for pupils. Her delicate hands were clasped together, and gentle sighs would leave her lips every now and again when the teacher would turn to look at the students. It seemed like little Historia had a crush. A crush that Eren definitely didn’t understand. Looking around the room it seemed like all of the girls had a crush on Professor Smith... well, all apart from one. The dark haired girl that Eren had noticed watching Historia since their first day. 

“Tch,” Eren looked over at the lecturer with a distasteful frown. He was tall, incredibly tall. With soft, teal eyes and neat, blonde hair. The guy was so well built that Eren wouldn’t have been surprised if he spent every waking moment that he wasn’t in the classroom, in the gym. 

Professor Smith turned to write something on the whiteboard, his large hand pressing the pen down too hard, making a sharp squeaking noise that nobody else seemed to notice. Eren screwed his face up in disgust. Why couldn’t Levi have taught every module? This could have been an hour long session of gazing at Levi’s perfect form, listening to his sweet voice, but no! Professor Erwin Smith had to exist and make almost half of his lectures as dull as dirt! This man didn’t have the grace that Levi had, nor the intelligence. He was inferior in every way, but still, here he was, standing in Levi’s spot at the front of the class! 

Historia let out another soft sigh, and Eren wondered whether the girl knew that she was doing it. He hung his head back, grunting in annoyance. At least Historia had a crush on Professor Smith and not Levi. She was much too pretty. She might’ve been competition. 

 

“Ok class, that’ll be everything for today.” Erwin called out, breaking Historia and the rest of the girls out of their little trance, and causing Eren to snap his head back up to face the front of the class.

Fucking finally! 

“But, there’s just one last thing before you all leave...”

Ugh, of course there is. 

“I’m sure that you all got the email from Professor Ackerman about the drinks with the department event tonight, I just thought I’d remind you.” 

The email... an email from Levi?

“Of course, your attendance is not mandatory, but it’s a good chance for you to get to know your professors, and some of the other members of staff from the department too. Plus we’ve hired out half of an entire campus bar so don’t feel that you have to stay and talk to us. It’s a great chance to get to know each other as well!” 

Eren had stopped listening as soon as Erwin had mentioned ‘getting to know the professors.’ That meant Levi would be there... right? Erwin, if he hadn’t just brought that up then Eren might’ve missed out on an absolutely golden opportunity to spend time with Levi! Maybe this guy wasn’t so bad after all... maybe. He could feel his bottom lip trembling with excitement, he had to be there, he just had to! Before he knew it, his legs were moving without consulting his brain, and the widest smile spread across his face. 

Eren was one of the first to leave the classroom, practically dragging Historia along with him. He noticed jealous eyes following him as he left, but he couldn’t care less. He had to talk her into going to this ‘drinks with the department’ event. It would look tragic if he went alone, and he didn’t want Levi to be put off him before he’d even had a chance to gain his affection. Although he knew that Levi would love him in the end, he didn’t want to drag the process out any more than he already had to. Being in the same space as his love made his entire body ache. He couldn’t possibly wait for too much longer. 

Once they were out in the hallway, Eren grasped Historia’s slim arms, turning her so they were face to face. A light blush painted the girl’s cheeks as she gazed up at him. 

“Historia, come to the department event with me tonight.” 

The girl audibly gasped at his words. He was so forward, so bold, and yet he was staring at her as if he hadn’t said anything at all. Historia could feel a smile on the corner of her lips. 

“Eren,” her voice was soothing, to most people anyway, but Eren was not focused on that factor. “Of... of course I’ll go with you!” 

Eren noticed a couple of other students walk past, glaring at him, clearly listening to their conversation. The tall, dark haired girl turned to her friend and said “Hey Reiner, we should go to that drinking thing tonight, or whatever.” He rolled his eyes at them. It was so painfully obvious that the two were only interested in going because they knew that Historia would be there. They had been practically ogling the girl all day. However, that worked out nicely for Eren. He could show up to the event with Historia, wait for one of those idiots to take her off his hands, and then he could speak to Levi on his own. His heart fluttered at the thought of it. A night with Levi, drinking, talking, watching his soft lips grace the rim of a wine glass. Bliss. 

“Besides,” he added, raising an eyebrow suggestively at the girl, earning himself another quiet gasp. “You’ll get a chance to speak with Professor Smith, one on one.” 

“I...” Her face was glowing, and her eyes were wide as saucers. 

“Don’t think I didn’t notice you staring at him longingly all through that lecture,” he grinned, tapping her arm playfully. Flinging his arm up to his head in a ‘swooning’ motion that made the girl squeal in protest.

“No! It’s not like that!” She yelled, suddenly noticing the volume of her own voice and cowering behind her hands like a timid mouse. 

“So you don’t want to date Erwin, hmm?” Eren’s tone was playful, but he meant what he said. He remembered the first time he saw Levi, it was overwhelming. If anyone could understand Historia’s feelings right now, it was him. 

“What! No way!” She cried, “He’s handsome, but I’d never date a teacher, that would be weird!” She met Eren’s eyes again and her blush deepened. “I’d rather date... someone my own age.” 

“Oh, c’mon Historia, I’m only kidding.” He gave her another one of his signature false smiles, and all she could respond with was a nervous giggle. “Anyway, I’m hungry. Let’s go and eat.”

 

The night came around quickly. Dark clouds rolled over the star studded sky, covering up the minimal light that a sliver of moon cast across the city. Heavy raindrops were blown diagonally in the icy breeze, splattering against every hard surface that they found. Eren shivered as the rain soaked the hood of his thick, black coat, and splashed off his shined, leather shoes. His right hand grasped the handle of an umbrella which he held at least a foot below his head level, protecting Historia from the lashing droplets. The tiny blonde wore a calm smile along with her knee length, pink dress. Her heart fluttering as the taller boy shielded her from the weather. 

Damn Historia, it was pouring with rain, and the girl didn’t even think to bring her own umbrella. It was obvious that she’d put a considerable amount of effort into her appearance. Her hair bounced in loose curls and her lips were painted with a blossom pink gloss, it would’ve been simply evil of Eren to let her doll-like perfection get washed away in the rain tonight. On the plus side, perhaps it would be easier to get the girl out of his hair with her looking so done-up tonight, he was sure that the dark haired girl and her tall, blonde friend would appreciate her efforts. Then Eren would be free to pursue Levi. His hands trembled at the thought of Levi dressed up smartly, and drops of rain were sprayed out from the umbrella. 

“Sorry,” he mumbled down to Historia as raindrops dotted her soft, beige coat. Her shining blue eyes looked up at him, and a crimson blush prickled her face. 

“It’s ok, Eren.” She smiled back at him. 

 

Eren shook off his umbrella, leaving it below the coat rack in the doorway as he stepped inside after Historia. He hung up her coat before his own, but he didn't notice the way that she shivered as her hand brushed up against his. 

Faint music drifted in the warm air as the two walked into the bustling bar. The scent of sweet alcohol filled the room, and students lounged around on the padded chairs and sofas, drinking and laughing, filling the space with their frustrating presence. This wasn’t the sort of place that Eren would usually associate himself with. It was too loud, too packed. Everywhere he looked someone was in his personal space, and on a regular day, he wouldn’t have been able to stand it. Today however, was no normal day. As far as Eren was concerned, this sticky-floored campus bar may as well have been the fluffy, golden clouds of heaven. Or at least it would be, the moment that his eyes found Levi amongst the crowd. 

On the far side of the room, a platformed area was barred off, and Eren had spotted Erwin’s abnormally tall frame amongst a sea of students, some of whom he vaguely recognised. Amongst them were the tall, dark-haired girl, and the muscular blonde guy that he hoped would steal Historia from his loose clutches. 

“There’s Professor Smith,” Eren said blankly, glancing down at Historia, who in turn was gazing up at him. “Looks like the department have booked out that section of the bar for us.” 

“Oh! There’s a pool table!” The girl’s sweet voice called up to Eren, “Wanna have a game with me? I’m terrible, but it might be fun!” 

Eren’s eyes scanned the entire room, every corner, every inch of the dance floor, the bar, the sofas. His love was absolutely nowhere in sight. Impatient fingers scrunched up into fists, nails digging into the soft skin of his palms as he frantically searched. Where was he? Had this all been a huge mistake? There was no way that Eren would have even stepped foot in this shit-hole if Levi wasn’t going to be there, and now he had an eager Historia practically tugging at his shirt sleeve. Fuck, fuck, where was Levi? 

“Eren?” Historia’s voice was a blur echoing through Eren’s eardrums, and he wasn’t willing to pay attention. It was as if the lights in the room were dimming, fading out like all of the hope in his heart as his eyes wandered over the same areas of the room again and again, as if one more glance would make the man appear where he wasn’t before. Shit, this was a mistake. This had to be a mistake! Just because Levi had sent the invitation email, it didn’t mean that he was going to be here. 

All of a sudden, Eren felt a tsunami of shame wash over him at his own stupidity. He should’ve done more research, maybe followed Erwin back to the staff offices, or at least asked him if Professor Ackerman was going to be here tonight! Damn, damn it all! This was a disaster, a total waste of time. Now he was stuck here with Historia and Erwin and a sea of faceless, nameless people that threatened to drown him in their...

“I’ll join your game of pool...” 

Eren felt every single muscle in his body tense at once at the sound of bland, emotionless voice. Even without intonation, it was as if the boy’s ears had been graced by the most wonderful symphony. His shoes squeaked against the wooden floor as he spun as quickly as he possibly could to face the angelic source of the voice. 

There he was. His very Aura like a magnificent light in the darkness, and my god, he was the very epitome of perfection. Stray raindrops dripped off his glorious strands of jet black hair, falling down off his porcelain skin. His shirt... oh GOD! His white shirt was drenched from the rain, and for the first time Eren believed that there truly was a higher power, controlling the weather and looking down on him with delight. Levi’s shirt was see through, every curve of his muscular body being exaggerated through the wet fabric and... fuuuuuuuuuuck. You could see his pink nipples through the cotton, and Eren could feel his entire body heating up to it's boiling point.

Three buttons of the professor’s shirt were undone, exposing a dangerous amount of milky, white skin on his smooth chest. Eren was dizzy with lust. Seeing Levi all soaking and disheveled like this, it was almost more than he could bear. Every minute detail of his appearance looked as if it had been hand crafted by angels. Lustful, horny angels. Fuck, Eren wasn’t sure if he could possibly hold himself back any longer. The man of his dreams was stood right in front of him, cheeks flushed from the cold, drenched from head to toe and glaring at him with his signature burning stare. The blood rushed from Eren’s brain to his cock at an alarming rate, and he was sure that his rational thoughts had left with it. 

He wanted to peel those sopping clothes right off the man’s slender frame, warm him with his wanting body. It was unfair, so unfair that Levi had no idea just how good the boy could make him feel. If only Levi would let him, he could bring him right up to the peak of ecstasy and back again. His chest began to heave, his palms were sweating and his uncontrollable, animalistic urges were short-circuiting the intricate cogs of his brain. The room was crowded, but in this moment nobody else in the world existed but Eren, and Levi. How could he hold himself back? How could he possibly...

“Professor!” Eren could feel his soul being sucked back into his body wrathfully as Historia’s cheerful voice whipped his animal side back into the cage inside his skull. “That would be wonderful, I’m not very good, but Eren and I will definitely have a game with you!” 

A grin tugged at Levi’s top lip, and he looked right into Eren’s soul with his steely, grey eyes. 

“Don’t worry, I’m not very good myself.” He told the beaming young girl. “By the way. Hello again, Eren Jaeger.” 

He... he said his name. 

If Eren was a weaker man, then he would've passed out from the over-stimulation. But no, Eren was strong, and he was prepared. 

"Hello, Professor Ackerman." The words left his plump lips like silk, meant to caress the man's very being with their sensual, purring tone. 

It was time for Eren to gain some footing in Levi's seemingly black heart, and he was not about to let this opportunity pass him by.


	4. Resisting Temptation

Eren wasn’t aware that pool could be played as a team sport, but apparently the commotion of Levi entering the room had Erwin annoyingly excited, and now there were two teams of three people stood on either side of the pool table. Normally, the prospect of team sports would be more than unappealing to Eren, but this time he had Levi on his team, so he was more than happy to partake. 

Erwin angled up his pool cue with the particularity of a professional, much to the delight of his team-mates. Just as expected, the tall, dark haired girl and her tough looking friend had zoomed over the moment that Historia had shown an interest in playing. Their faces had flushed crimson the moment that they saw her in her dainty, pink dress. Eren thought that she was truly beautiful, like a doll, or an angel. She reminded him of his mother in many ways. The same kind nature, the same ability to pull the focus of the weaker willed men and women. It seemed that the names of her admirers were Ymir and Reiner. Not that Eren really cared, but he didn’t want to forget and seem rude in front of his love. 

Erwin had the fierce gaze of a determined soldier as he broke the triangle of snooker balls, knocking two yellows into the same pocket consecutively. “Guess we’re yellows then, team.” He smiled back at Reiner and Ymir, who both held their frothing pints of beer up in a congratulatory fashion. It looked like they had been here for a while, their faces were already flushed with a tipsy glow. Erwin leaned over the table, passing the cue over to Levi. The man's delicate hands grasped onto it so endearingly, and Eren could feel himself hypnotised by his graceful movements once again.

“Damn it,” Levi gazed at the cue as if it were complex algebraic formulae. His already narrow eyes squinting at it as he manoeuvred it around his body, trying to find the right angle, or at least one that remotely worked. Eren could feel the butterflies in his stomach evolving, turning into dragons that savaged his insides and breathed fire onto his pounding heart, lighting it aflame. The cue was almost as tall he was, and god damn if that wasn’t the most adorable thing that Eren had ever seen. 

It was obvious to anyone that Levi was struggling. He was holding the cue so wrong that Ymir and Reiner were giggling behind Erwin. Eren shot them a disapproving glare that DARED them to ever laugh at Levi again. It seemed to work. The confused looks on their faces were priceless, and they halted their laughter almost immediately, not without giving each other a knowing glance. 

Eren could feel his head spinning like a tumble dryer in it's last round at the sight of Levi half bent over that pool table. His wet, black hair falling in dripping strands over his eyes, his tongue poking out of the corner of his pink lips as he tried to concentrate. Eren had to get behind him, he had to touch him. 

“Professor, hold it like this...” The words left Eren’s lips before his brain could process them, and his body moved without a shadow of a thought crossing his mind. Then he was behind Levi, his hands grasping at those slim, toned arms, guiding them into the perfect position, bending his professor over the table just a little more. Their heads were side by side, enough for Levi’s rain-drenched hair to caress Eren’s glowing face. Eren could smell fragrant tea-tree in his hair, and the musk of his cologne graced his nostrils, sending him into an unrivalled high. He could feel the gentle stroke of Levi’s perky little ass against his thigh as he shifted the smaller man below him. His jeans began to tighten, just a little. It took all of his mental strength not to lean in just that little bit further, to press his crotch up against the man and grind himself to full arousal. If only he could, but he could feel four other sets of eyes on him like hawks, and he knew that he had to make this interaction seem as innocent as possible.

“Like this?” Levi said, bending over just a little more until the shiny, red ball was just in the sights of his cue, lined up to perfection. Fuck, Eren was sure that Levi was doing this on purpose, his pert ass further invading the boy’s personal space in such an arousing manner. Levi was unknowingly being such a little tease, but his eyes were fixed right on the ball, and although Eren could not see the man’s face, he could sense the determination radiating from him. He knew exactly what delicious expression was etched onto Levi's face. 

“Just like that.” Eren could feel himself pushing his words out a little more forcefully, praying that his hot breath would make its way into Levi’s unsuspecting ear. He leaned backwards slightly, painfully tearing himself away from the feeling of Levi’s hair against his face. He couldn’t arouse suspicion, and he definitely could not become any more aroused than he already was without it becoming obvious. He kept his inner thigh against Levi’s ass, it was such a slight connection, but it was enough for Eren to feel the shape of his round cheeks. Levi pulled back his arm, giving an abrupt gasp as he pushed the pool cue forward, hitting a red ball directly into an open pocket. His body jolted against Eren with his enthusiastic push, and Eren stepped backwards as a full, throbbing erection formed in his pants. 

Shit. He would just have to stand with the height of the pool table in the way to hide his arousal until it went away. Or maybe... just to be safe... 

Eren took his jacket off, tying it oh-so-innocently around his waist, revealing the tank top that he wore underneath. It left little to the imagination, showing off the contours of his muscular body. Historia’s eyes fell onto him instantly, and she had to forcibly shut her jaw as it hung open without her consent. Eren didn’t notice her reaction, but Levi did. 

Levi turned to face him, and although his expression didn’t change, his dull eyes wandered down Eren’s body, almost hungrily, and Eren could see a glint of something that he hadn't seen before in them. He couldn’t stop a smirk from spreading across his handsome face. He’d studied Levi for long enough to know exactly what the man’s physical tastes and preferences were, and he had every intention of adhering to them at every given opportunity. 

“Woah, Eren!” Erwin chuckled from the other side of the table. Levi’s eyes left Eren's abs, and he turned to face the other professor as quick as a flash. “In all my years of working here, I’ve never actually seen Professor Ackerman pot a pool ball before! You must really be a natural!” 

“Oh, I used to play pool with my sister when I was younger.” Eren beamed back at him, still dizzy from the ecstasy of being so close to his love, for such a long period of time. “She was crazy good, so I had to get up to her level to stand a chance against her.” 

“Woah, that’s amazing Eren,” Historia chimed in from his left side. He’d almost forgotten that she was there, but the look that she was giving him was one of true admiration. “You’ll have to teach me sometime.” 

“Oh... uh, sure.” 

Professor Ackerman turned his head to the side ever so slightly, just enough for one of his steely eyes to meet with Eren’s. “Yeah, thanks kid.” 

 

Even with Eren’s expertise, their team still lost the game of pool. Historia was a sweet girl, but good grief she could not pot a single ball, even with Ymir’s eventual attempt to replicate what Eren had done to help Levi. By now the group were all around four pints down, and were without a doubt beginning to feel the effects of the alcohol coursing through them. This included the professors. Erwin was back at the pool table, completely disregarding the reasonable voice in his head that told him to take it easy on the new students.To be fair, the girls on his team seemed elated, and he himself looked as if he was genuinely enjoying himself.

The rest of them were peering around the room, tying to find seating that suited Levi’s particular tastes. He was a picky man, even when it came to something as simple as where he wanted to sit, and although it seemed to be getting on the other’s nerves, Eren loved that about him. A strong, assertive man who knew what he damn well wanted and would not settle for anything less. Plus it helped that he was the single hottest thing that Eren had ever seen in his life. Small enough to be dominated, with a fierce attitude that would give Eren an exciting challenge. Ugh, perfection.

The group eventually settled on some free sofas, Eren, Levi and Historia all huddled up onto one together, with Reiner and Ymir on the one opposite. 

“Historia, you look so squished over there,” Reiner told her, his mask of concern as transparent as a window on a clear day. “You can move over to our sofa if you want, I think it’s a bit bigger.” 

“Yes it does look a little bigger, I don’t mind if you want to move.” Eren smiled. Honestly the situation was a win-win for him. On one hand, making room for Historia on his sofa meant that now his leg was pressed up against Levi’s, and he could feel the warmth of his skin through the fabric of their clothing. On the other, if Historia did move then he and Levi would have the whole sofa to themselves. Both situations would warrant some form of intimacy between Eren and his professor, and Eren quietly congratulated himself on his ability to mould any situation to benefit him. 

“Oh.. uhhh...” She mumbled, glancing over to Eren with a worried look on her sweet face. “Really, I don't mind at all. It’s quite warm here.” She was not wrong. Her small, slender body was pushed up against Eren to the point that she was almost on his lap. Eren thought that she looked cute, almost fragile. He could see the ravenous look in Ymir and Reiner’s eyes, and he recognised it all too well. It was almost the same as the way that he looked at Levi, filled with lust, but their eyes didn’t hold that same love that his own did. Plus it really didn’t seem like Historia liked them as much as they seemed to like her, and Eren was suddenly burdened with the urge to protect the girl. 

“Well that’s fine then, Historia. If it’s warm then you should stay right here next to me.” He shot the other two a disapproving look. They should have been picking up on Historia’s signals and backing off, the girl had been practically clinging to Eren for the entire night. She must’ve been feeling uncomfortable with all of the unwanted attention, although Eren was sure by looking at her that she probably received it often. 

“Tch,” Eren huffed under his breath. He would never make somebody feel uncomfortable in that way. Did these people not understand that it takes a lot more than just staring at somebody across a classroom for days on end to make them fall in love with you! Good grief. It had taken him years to learn every detail about his love, and now he was sure that he could be Levi's perfect partner. Maybe if either Ymir or Reiner put in that kind of dedication, he would let them have a chance at Historia's heart. For now however, they should keep their distance if they knew what was good for them.

“Well, I’m gonna get myself another drink anyway so enjoy the extra space whilst I’m gone...” Levi’s voice rang through Eren’s head like alarm bells, and he knew that he had to act fast. He needed some one-on-one time with his love, he was aching for it. 

“Oh, I’ll go too!” his abrupt declaration was practically a shout, and he felt Historia jump against him. Sorry Historia. Eren did not want to leave her alone with the two vultures, but wherever Levi went, he would follow. “Do you want another drink too?” He asked her. 

She smiled up at him, and Eren could see the sparkle in her eyes. “Yes please! But just a juice will be fine for now, I don't want to drink too much.” 

 

Levi tapped his fingers against the shined wood of the bar, his head resting in his hand as he glanced at the different flavours of liquor on display. He always hated these nights. They were supposed to be a chance for students and professors to get to know each other, but all that he got to know was that students drink way too much. Why would he want to befriend his students anyway? Most of them only wanted to get in his good books because they thought that he might give them better grades if they did so. Idiots, as if he would ever do that. 

Also, spending time with students outside the confines of the classroom sometimes carried... other problems. 

These were not problems that he was used to experiencing, but with this night in particular, he was intrusively aware of his body’s natural reactions. That stupid brat. Did he know what he was doing, parading around with his muscles flexing in that damn tank top. It was as if somebody had plucked a man with the perfect appearance right out of his mind and placed him annoyingly in his personal space. That long, sleek hair that he wore tied up in a messy bun. The way that the kid towered over him so dominantly. It made him want to scream, it made him want to be sick. 

He couldn’t get those words out of his head, those words that the kid had spoken so matter-of-factly the other day: ‘I came here because of you.’ What exactly did he mean by that? It was possible that the kid just admired him as a teacher, but it was impossible to forget that only a few years ago he had confessed his love to him. Those feelings must’ve faded by now, but Levi couldn’t quite shake the feeling that there was something a little off about this Eren Jaeger kid. 

He shook his head, pushing the thoughts out of his mind. He must’ve been being paranoid, there was no way that a young guy like that would think of him as anything more than a professional. Plus, like he’d ever be interested in a guy so young. The very idea was preposterous. Just because he found the kid attractive, it didn’t mean that he couldn’t have a normal teacher-student relationship with him. There would be nothing more than that, no matter how close the boy was to him, no matter how many times he acted inappropriately, he would never be interested in a student. It was just wrong, and his pride would not let this fleeting attraction go any further. 

Levi swore under his breath as he remembered the way that the boy had loomed over him earlier, the feeling of his hot breath against his ear as he moved his arms into position so domineeringly. His core began to heat up, his body tensing at the memory. Fuck you, Eren Jaeger...

“I’ll have a glass of blackcurrant juice, a Gin and Tonic and whatever he’s having.” 

Levi turned at the sound of the familiar voice, and there he was. Leaning against the bar in his damn, slutty tank top. Piercing, green eyes were gazing right at him, and a smile was painted across his stupid, handsome face so innocently. Eren was buying him a drink? Really? Well this was just his fucking luck. He hated the tiny part of him that was excited by that prospect, but he hated that stupid brat more for being so comfortably in his personal space throughout this dumb event. 

Ugh. This was going to be a long, long night.


	5. The Darkness

The wind was howling, blowing gales of torrential rain down against the glass of the windows. There was no way that anybody was leaving the bar any time soon, not with the weather outside making their journey back home utterly miserable, and potentially dangerous. 

“For fucks sake,” Levi muttered under his breath as he made his way back to the sofa with the brat. Not only had Eren bought him a drink, but he had insisted on making his drink a double measure too. The professor could feel his head becoming slightly dizzy, and a familiar warmth spreading through his body as he took a tender sip. He knew that he was a lightweight, and although he refused to accept that it was probably because of his small stature, he was already drunk. It would be harder than ever to keep his professional composure now. 

Levi heard an excited voice yelling “touchdown!” and he glanced over in Erwin’s direction. The man was high-fiving the merry students on his pool team, taking another thirsty gulp from his beer, and suddenly Levi’s urge to appear professional faltered a little. It wasn’t like anyone cared. It was only his pride that kept him so void of emotion most of the time, and with the alcohol coursing through his system his inhibitions had definitely lowered. 

 

Eren smiled when he approached the sofas and saw Historia laughing heartily. Ymir seemed to be telling a story that had Historia feeling much more comfortable. It seemed like the three that they left at the sofas were getting along. Perfect, at this rate it wouldn’t be weird if Eren managed to slip away with Levi later in the night and have a real one-on-one conversation. 

The two rejoined Historia by the sofa, and the girl smiled sweetly at them both as Ymir finished up her story. 

“Here,” Eren reached out and handed Historia a tall, iced glass of blackcurrant juice, and the girl reached out with both hands to grasp it. 

“Thank you!” She beamed at up him, wiggling to the side a little as if to invite him to sit back by her side. He obliged. 

Eren made sure that he gave Levi a little less room to perch himself, so by the time that he sat down he was pressed firmly against Eren’s side. The contact sent an almost overwhelming rush of endorphins to Eren’s head, and he couldn’t help but lean a little closer to the man, taking in more of his scent as he did so. He could see his love raising the elegant, balloon glass of sweet gin and elderflower tonic up to his lips. What a beautiful choice of beverage, it suited him perfectly. 

“Oh, Ymir. You’ll have to tell Eren and the professor the story that you just told to me and Reiner!” Historia chirped. She almost diverted Eren’s attention away from his love, almost. Although he turned his head to face the girl beside him, his mind was focused on the warmth radiating from Levi’s leg pressed up against his own so delicately. 

“Oh man!” Ymir snorted unattractively, and Reiner chuckled alongside her. “Listen to this guys, it’s hilarious!” The tone in her voice told them all that she was already drunk, and that fact alone seemed to send Historia into hysterics. 

The girl began talking, and three sets of eyes were fixed directly on her. The green ones however, were drawn straight back to Levi. 

His slim fingers looked so graceful holding the delicate stem of his glass, and as he moved it up to his face to take a sip, Eren couldn’t help but mimic. His steely, grey eyes were focused elsewhere, and so he didn’t notice the way that the boy examined his every detail with pure awe. The gentle gulp of his swallowing, the way that his tongue flicked out against his bottom lip to savour the sweetness of the elderflower. Eren wanted to taste him too, and without fully realising it, he was edging ever closer to his love, closing any trace of a gap between their thighs.

Ymir’s obnoxious voice was nothing but a melody in the background of the romantic scene that existed inside Eren’s warped mind as he studied the gentle slope of Levi’s nose, the intensity of his eyes. He wanted to pepper kisses along the angle of his jawline, to suck the soft skin of his neck between his teeth and leave his mark. How could he possibly restrain himself? How could he possibly wait another moment? He edged closer yet again.

 

Stupid boy! What did he think he was doing? Moving closer, inch by inch, pressing his toned thigh against Levi’s so nonchalantly. The professor fought with his heart rate, urging it to slow down. He wrestled with his body, a body that betrayed him by urging him to lean inwards, taking more of the boy’s warmth for himself. 

NO!

He gasped as he sat up straight, upright and rigid. The thoughts in his head were dangerously wrong. He mustn’t let the natural reactions of his body overpower his rational mind. Even with the alcohol clouding his judgement, even with his attraction to the boy ever present in his brain right now; he would not lower himself to giving in to his student’s advances, whether they were purposeful or not. 

But the brat’s cologne did smell inviting... and his dominating stature made him feel a little... safe... 

Eren was closer now, a little too close for comfort, a little too close to be discreet any longer. Levi could feel him, and even with feelings of distaste welling up within him, he did nothing to stop the boy. The professor just kept sipping his gin: a fleeting distraction from his student that only made his urges more difficult to control.

Damn, he must’ve been drunk. Suddenly the brat’s lips looked rather inviting, and if he weren’t in the public eye then he couldn’t have promised himself that he could resist the temptation... if only there weren’t so many prying eyes... maybe he could have just one taste of the forbidden fruit...

 

Then all of a sudden, there was nothing but darkness. 

 

“Huh?” Ymir stopped mid ramble, and Historia let out a shrill scream as every light in the bar went out instantaneously, casting the room in nothing but the eerie shadow of the clouded moonlight. 

“What’s... what’s happening?” Historia whimpered, grasping onto Eren’s bare arm with the urgency of a lost child as slight panic began to set in. 

“Don’t worry Historia,” Reiner comforted, standing up to take a more detailed look at the darkened room. “I think it’s just a power cut.” 

Behind the noise of the muttering students, Eren and Levi breathed heavily, in unison. The dim moonlight cast angelic, white light across Eren’s handsome face, and for a moment Levi was lost in his glistening eyes. They were in blackness, utter blackness, and the shadow on Levi’s face covered him up to a point of near invisibility. He watched Eren’s face, his expression so pure, so innocent as he moved himself closer, and closer. So close that Levi could smell the boy’s sweet, hot breath. The moonlight danced on the rugged bun of hair on top of his head, and sloped down the curve of his blushing, heart shaped face. Here and now, in this moment, Levi could swear that he had never been so attracted to a man in his entire life. How did this boy possess every trait that Levi admired in a physical appearance? How did he smell so divine? He wondered if he would taste as good...

“Woah!” Levi almost yelled as he jumped up from his seat, leaving Eren dumbfounded, sat on the sofa facing nothing. The tension between them had been torn, leaving frayed ends that begged to be sewn back together.

“Levi?” Erwin’s authoritarian voice boomed from the other side of the room. Eren’s head snapped back to meet Historia’s eyes, and he could see that they were welling up with tears. 

“Eren, I don’t like this.” She mumbled to him, just quiet enough for him to hear.

Normally he would’ve responded with something reassuring, something comforting to ease her fear of the darkness, but his mind had been wiped. All that he could think of was how close he had just been to his love, how close his love had LET him get, before he pulled himself away. 

“Erwin!” Levi called back, “what’s going on?” 

“Power cut!” The sound of Erwin’s voice grew louder as he fumbled his way toward Levi in the dark, dodging drunk and whining students as he came. “It must be because of the weather,” his voice was no longer a yell, he was close enough to speak. “We may have a backup generator downstairs though, I’ll see if I can find...”

“No!” The abruptness of Levi’s statement had every pair of eyes within earshot turned to face him, and even though they could not see him in the darkness, he could feel them watching him. “No...” his voice was quiet now, muffled by the shame at his own actions, his own thoughts. “I’ll go down, you stay up here with the students, I’m sure that you’re more comforting than I am.” 

Erwin raised a suspicious eyebrow at Levi’s tone, not that Levi could see him. “Ok then professor, go right ahead.”

And with that, Levi was gone. 

 

The professor shot down the cold, stone steps behind the bar in record time, despite the bar staff’s protest as they assured him that they could fix the problem themselves. Levi needed to get away, he needed some time to compose himself, some time to think. His delicate footsteps patted against the uneven ground in the cellar, as the weak torch on his phone lit his way. He could still feel his heart pounding so hard that it threatened to break through his ribcage, and the sinking feeling in his gut was almost enough to drag him down to his knees. 

What had just happened? Why was he suddenly so weak willed? Never in his life had he reacted that way to the mere presence of another person. It would’ve been easy to blame it on the booze, but he had been drunker than this before, and still in much better control of himself than he was right now. 

This reaction to the boy wasn’t just strange, it was downright terrifying.

He shone the white light across the damp walls, along the stone floor, searching for any sign of a generator. Anything to take his mind off the madness that he had just experienced. 

The man gulped down his primitive urges. He really did have the hots for his student. Well... less ‘hots’ and more of a ‘burning, searing lake of lava’. This had to be the alcohol talking, it HAD to be. There was no way that such a young man could possibly be so endearing to him, it was disgusting, out of the question. If somebody had seen him just then, if somebody could hear his thoughts, he would have lost his job, everything that he had worked so hard to achieve. 

Levi could feel his knees beginning to shake at the thoughts running through his mind. He stared to feel dizzy, and all of a sudden the room began to spin around him. Without a second of thought he dropped down onto the ground, leaning against an icy beer keg, holding his head in his hand as he talked himself through deep, rhythmic breaths. 

It was all going to be ok. Levi had experienced panic attacks before, and he knew how to talk himself through them. He just needed to relax, and clear his mind.

 

Eren sat motionless on the sofa, Historia still clutching him tightly. He couldn’t believe himself, his own actions. What an idiot he was! This was not part of the plan. He needed Levi to fall for him, to love him, not to run away. 

Damn it!

He made a move too soon, it was too much all at once, wasn’t it? No wonder Levi ran off! They were in public, his job would be on the line if anyone saw what they almost did! Ugh. Eren scolded himself internally, how could he be so foolish? 

“Eren,” the gentle voice by his side did nothing to calm the rage in his heart, but he turned to face the girl with his expression void of any emotion. 

“Yes.” 

“The professor has been gone for a really long time, do you think knows how to work a generator?”

She was right. Once Eren zapped himself out of his own worries for a moment, he realised that it had in fact been a disturbingly long amount of time since Levi had gone down to the cellar. 

The voices in the back of Eren’s head made themselves apparent: ‘What if he had fallen in the dark? What if he was hurt?’ Suddenly his worry turned to panic, and he shot up to his feet in an instant, tearing Historia’s arm away from his own in one clean break. 

“I’ll check on him... I mean the generator...” He didn’t take even a moment to look back at Historia and the others before he was charging toward the bar. 

“Eren!” Erwin called after him, his voice stopping Eren in his tracks as he turned to face his teacher. “It’s dangerous for you to go down there, I’ll go.” 

Eren could feel his heart drop to his ass as his mind tried to come up with a lie that would allow him down those cellar stairs. Think Eren, think. Anything will do. “It’s ok professor, really...” he began. Fuck, what now? The cogs in his brain were working overtime already, and now they had to work harder still. “Umm... my uncle is... an... electrician.” Yes, he could work with this. “He’s brought me along with him on the job a few times... I have some experience with electrical faults, I should be able to handle it.” Bingo. 

“Well that may be so Eren, but I can’t just let you go down...”

“Really Erwin.” Eren’s tone of voice changed from innocent to serious in an instant, and he could hear his professor audibly gasp, along with a few of the students. He was not playing games here. Nobody could stop him from going down those stairs, nobody. “Historia is scared, so i’m going to get that backup generator working. I promise I’ll be careful.” Brilliant, that lie was much better than his last one, it was true after all, Historia was scared of he dark. Nobody needed to know that the real reason that he was leaving was because of the promise of his love in that cellar.

“Oh... Okay kid.” Erwin’s’s voice was etched with something he hadn’t heard from the man before. What was it, respect? Who cared, he turned tail and made his way down the stairs as quickly as his legs could carry him. Towards Levi.


	6. The Light

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I really appreciate all of the comments and kudos left on this work, thank you all so much. <3

The sound of muffled muttering faded into nothingness as Eren descended the stairs, and soon enough all that he could hear was Levi’s laboured breathing. Curiosity pricked at his conscience as he studied the forceful, rhythmic in and out of his love’s breath. Why did it sound so forced? So... unnatural? He turned the corner in the darkness, and was met by nothing but the shining, white light of Levi’s mobile phone torch pointing directly at the ceiling. 

“Levi?” Eren called out into the abyss. His concerned voice echoed against the walls, and rather than respond with words, Levi simply gasped at the sudden interruption. 

“E-eren?” His usually emotionless voice was hoarse, and higher pitched than it usually was. Not only that, but it seemed to be coming from much lower down than usual. 

“Are... are you sat on the floor?” Eren questioned, stepping further into the room. As slivers of torchlight became apparent against Levi’s slender frame, Eren could see that he was indeed on the ground, his back pushed up against a beer keg. 

“Yeah,” Levi hissed back at him. “And what about it?” 

Eren was taken aback for a moment before his expression softened into a sweet smile. “Nothing, nothing,” he said, taking a tentative couple of steps closer to Levi. “I don’t care why you’re sat on the ground, as long as you don’t mind me joining you.” 

For much longer than a moment, the professor was silent. Only the sound of his softening breathing filled the room, and the gentle scrape of his shoe against the stone as he straightened his leg. 

“Do what you want.” 

Eren took the man’s statement as an invitation, lowering himself onto the cold, hard ground beside his love. He could feel Levi’s body tense by his side, before softening into the warmth of his arm pressed up against him. For a moment it felt as if Levi was trying to move away, but soon enough he settled back into the comfortable position. Leaning his arm so, so delicately against Eren, but tilting his head away from him. 

“Professor,” Eren began, the darkness of the room causing him great difficulty as he tried to pick up on the expression of Levi’s face. “Are you alright? You don’t seem to be doing a great job of fixing the electricity problem.” 

He could hear Levi scoff. “Oh, well done for noticing Eren.” The man’s voice was practically dripping with sarcasm. Stupid Kid. Did he not realise that the fact that he was sat on the floor like a pathetic moron was entirely his fault? God, he could just grab that fucking dumb brat and just... and just...

“Do you need me to help you? I think I could figure out what to do if I...”

“No!” 

The sound of Levi’s overly forceful protest rung through the room, earning itself a gentle flinch from Eren as it darted into one ear and out of the other, leaving his head shaking. 

“No,” Levi reaffirmed, moving himself a little further away from Eren, but still not far enough to fully break contact between the two. “You shouldn’t be down here, Eren. You should go back upstairs to Historia and the others.” 

“But Levi,” Levi winced as Eren brought his face toward him, just a little. Not enough to push his luck, but just close enough for Levi to smell his sweet, alcohol scented breath. “I don’t want to be up there with Historia, I want to be down here with you.” 

The smell of the alcohol on his breath brought with it a painful reminder that Levi was still under it’s influence, as did the natural reaction of his body to Eren’s words. Excitement welled up in his chest like magic: yet another way that his body had betrayed him. His heart was still pounding from his short panic attack and although he had managed to calm himself, he could feel that all-too-familiar feeling of uneasiness bubbling up inside him again. He closed his eyes, and set his breathing to a slow, steady pace. A deep in and out. A rhythmic back and forth. Until...

“Why are you breathing all weird like that?” 

Damn, that brat! What did he think he was doing? Throwing him off like that.

“None of your damn business!” He snapped, turning to face Eren with a threatening scowl, as if Eren could see him in this overbearing darkness. “Are you still here? Get outta here, kid!” 

Eren didn’t flinch at Levi’s harsh tone, instead he let a loving smile spread across his face. He loved Levi’s bluntness, his defensive anger, he always had. To Eren, when Levi became defensive like this, it was as if he were showing his most vulnerable side, a side that not many people ever got to experience, including Eren. He’d seen Levi like this before, but the anger had never been directed towards him. When he’d watched Levi in the past, he’d seen the way that he would direct his bitter rage towards some of his dates when they pried too far into his personal life during conversation, or towards his family members when they teased him about one of his many insecurities. It came from a place of true vulnerability, when Levi truly wanted to let his guard down,  
and when his pride stopped him from doing so. 

Levi’s harsh words didn’t have their desired effect on Eren, not at all. In fact, Eren felt honoured. 

“Kid.” The word left Eren’s lips with almost no emotion, and he let it hang in the air for a while before he built upon it. “Kid,” he said again, this time more wistfully, as he pondered over his memories. “That’s what you called me before, right? Back in high school.” 

Levi wasn’t sure where this was going, and he wasn’t sure that he was going to like it when he found out. “Yeah, what about it?” 

“I bet it seems like so long ago to you, doesn’t it Levi?” Eren could feel his smile fade just a little as he thought back to that day; the day that Levi had almost broken his heart. “But it still seems so fresh in my mind.” 

“What the hell are you going on about?” Levi huffed. He knew, at least he thought he did, but he wanted so badly to be wrong. 

“The day that I told you how I felt about you.” Eren spoke those words as if they were completely normal to say to his own university professor. There was no tension in his voice, no shame. 

Eren could hear Levi’s breathing drop back into that same laboured pattern again, and he could feel his heart drop just a little. 

He let out a forced expulsion of air, something that resembled a laugh. “It was stupid of me really, to say that to my teacher back then, when I was so young.” 

“Yeah?” This hadn’t been what Levi had expected, but he couldn’t deny that his interest was piqued.

“I guess I really was just a kid, I didn’t feel like it at the time. I thought that I had everything figured out, but growing up has really shown me a lot more about love than I could have imagined. But I’m not a kid any more, and I’m mature enough to say that I’m... I’m sorry for putting you in a position like that back then, Levi.” 

The boy really did mean what he said. At sixteen, he was much too young, and much too inexperienced to give Levi what he needed. He was a fool to think that he was worthy of him at such a tender age. He really didn’t know anything about the man, only seeing him at school, thinking about him at night time, alone in his room. The rejection had been the kick in the backside that he needed to realise what he had to do, and since that day he had come so far, and learned so much about the man that he loved. He’d studied him so intently, watched him so carefully. He knew everything that would turn him on, every tiny thing that would make him upset, or excited, or angry. Now that he was older, now that he had put in the work, he had earned Levi’s heart, whether the man knew it yet or not. And he was going to take it. 

“Breathing exercises...” Levi broke a heavy silence that Eren hadn’t even noticed until this moment, as he mumbled. 

“What?”

“It’s my breathing exercises, that weird breathing that I was doing before.” 

“It’s... it’s your...” 

“I used to suffer from some damn bad anxiety, and I guess panic attacks come along with that more often than not.” Levi sighed, almost in defeat as he let a minute sliver of his guard down. “I started on meds and I thought I was ‘cured,’ it’s been years since I’ve had an episode like this, but tonight I got a little too drunk and a little too... uhhhh... and then the power went out and it all got kind of overwhelming.” 

“B-breathing exercises, huh..” 

Eren was more than a little lost for words, Levi had actually opened up to him. It was only a little, but in all of his years of watching Levi, he had never seen the man open up to anybody, not even once. 

“Yeah, I’m not sure why I told you that, but I answered your damn question. Happy now?”

Happy? Was he happy? Eren felt as if he were on a god-damn cloud! His love had felt comfortable enough with him that he could actually open up, to share a part of his inner demons with him, and him alone. This was like a dream, and although Eren knew that his love would’ve opened up to him one day anyway, it didn’t make the feeling of it finally happening any less sweet. This only affirmed his feelings: the two were meant to be together. Eren just knew it, he’d always known it. God he wanted to grab Levi’s perfect little face and just...

 

“Huh?” The two gasped in unison as the lights jolted back on, and they heard a distant cheer from the people upstairs, pulling Levi back into the reality of the situation. Eren’s head stayed drifting in the clouds. 

 

“The power’s back on, I guess we didn’t need the backup generator after all.” The words left his lips with strength, but as he saw Eren again, illuminated by the light, they lost their vigour. Damn, this was why he had become so overwhelmed in the first place! There he was, the epitome of perfection in the male form. So young and handsome and damn hot. All muscles and messy hair and smooth skin wrapped up in that fucking tank top. Levi hadn’t realised just how close the kid was until the lights had come back on. He knew that he was pressed up against him a little, but he hadn’t really thought much of it until the light came back, and he was close enough to see the tiny flecks of brown in his otherwise emerald green eyes. 

“Levi.” 

The professor’s name left his lips in a soft purr as he gazed in his love’s direction, and it was a moment too late before Levi realised that Eren’s face was moving closer to his own at an alarming rate. 

Levi froze, his rational brain screaming at him to pull away, but his lustful body urging him to lean in closer. He was left in frozen in limbo as his brain and body battled fiercely, and so when Eren’s lips met his own, he could barely react at all. Soft, tender lips pressed up against him with such gentleness, it was as if he were being kissed by an angel. Slowly, a hand came up to rest on the side of Levi’s head, eager fingers threading through his hair, fixing themselves in place. Still, Levi didn’t move, he couldn’t move. It was as if his body had been turned to ice. 

Without warning, his own lips parted, and Eren’s hot, wet tongue found it’s way into his mouth, dancing up against his own. He could feel the rise and fall of Eren’s shoulders against him as his breathing became deeper, quicker, harder. Before he knew it the boy had practically straddled him, and the heat being emitted from the boy began to slowly melt his frozen posture. 

Eren couldn’t take it any more. Seeing Levi in the light like that, his shirt all crumpled, too many buttons undone. Those dark, piercing eyes that bore into his soul gazing back at him. His sweet lips close enough to taste, he couldn’t resist any longer, he had to kiss him or he thought that he might’ve just burst! His legs were on either side of Levi now, his much larger frame dominating the smaller man and it felt so, so right. He could feel the tiny bumps on Levi’s tongue against his own, and the softness of his lips. He tasted so sweet, like a forbidden fruit, like victory. Eren had dreamed of this day for so many years, and now it was finally happening, and Levi wasn’t resisting him at all. 

It was better than Eren could’ve ever imagined, and when two slender arms came to wrap themselves around Eren’s back, fingers digging into the skin ever so gently, he almost melted. Fuck, he could feel the blood rushing from his brain to his hardening cock so quickly that it left him high. He was acting on impulse now, animalistic impulse as he switched off his rational thoughts. Before he knew it he was practically rutting against the man, grasping at his soft hair, pulling him deeper and deeper into the kiss. The fabric of his jeans was almost painful against his hardened length as he ground down into his love so passionately and FUCK! He could feel Levi’s cock hardening beneath him as well. It was almost overwhelming, making his own twitch in impatience. 

Levi was barely sure if what was happening was real any more, all that he knew was that at some point he had surrendered to it all. His arms were wrapped around the boy, mercilessly grasping at the taut muscles of his back. His tongue was so far into Eren’s mouth that he was surprised that either of them could still breathe and Eren was thrusting down onto him like some kind of savage beast. His body was practically trembling at the boy’s wanting touch, but he could not fully erase the thoughts of reason from his mind, and as his cock grew painfully hard, the thoughts grew painfully hard to bear. 

This was wrong.  
This was his student, a fucking kid. Well... maybe not a kid any more, but he was still half Levi’s age. He was drunk, Eren was drunk, at least Levi assumed he was, and here he was in this dingy basement, making out with one of his own students. What... what was he doing!? Suddenly the fire of their passion burned out to bitter rubble, and Eren’s sweet tongue turned to ash in Levi’s mouth as he pulled away.

“Eren!” Levi practically spat, “what are we doing?” 

“What?” The boy was still sat on top of him, his body weighing down on Levi as heavy as his own conscience. “We’re kissing Levi, didn’t you want to?” 

“I...I...” 

Levi could feel the dread seeping back into him, and the guilt over his own actions began to cloud any lust that he once had. 

“Eren, get off me!” He hissed, shaking himself vigorously beneath the boy until he finally removed himself. 

“Levi,” he said, his voice tinted with an almost comforting tone. “You don’t need to be ashamed of your own feelings. We’re meant to be together, you and I. Why fight it?” 

“B-be together? Have you lost your mind? I’m your professor!” Levi was shaking with rage now, but he wasn’t sure exactly where he should direct it. Eren had initiated the kiss, but Levi had hardly done anything to stop him. They were both in the wrong, they were both just as bad as each other. 

“I’m not crazy, I love you.”

“Love me?”

“I know that you feel it too, Levi. You feel... something. There’s no need to hide it from me.” 

“I can’t... I mean... I... I have to go.” 

Levi brought himself to his feet shakily, ignoring Eren’s calls after him as he made his way out of the room, back up the cold, stone steps. This was ridiculous. He needed time to calm down, time to think. That boy, that stupid damn brat! He was a teacher, not a damn horny teenager! 

This was just a small blip in his otherwise immaculate teaching career, and he would be damned if he was going to let a pretty face and a hot body ruin that for him. 

He wouldn’t ever buckle like that again. He was better than this, and he was going to prove it to that damn brat, but most of all, he was going to prove it to himself.


	7. The Morning After

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Thanks for the kudos and comments guys, it keeps me motivated to write more <3 
> 
> Also if there's anything that you would like to see happen, certain scenes or plot developments then leave a comment! I'm pretty loose with this plot at the moment so feel free to give suggestions. 
> 
> :)

Eren awoke to the sound of his alarm that morning, dizzying himself up with memories of the pervious night in his mind. He had kissed Levi, their lips had finally connected, and Levi seemed to be totally into it too!

The rest of the night had been a bit of a blur for him, but he vaguely remembered walking Historia back to her dorm and then coming home and... enjoying himself. He glanced over to his bedside table, and the mounds of crumpled up tissue that sat on it. God knows how many times Eren had touched himself that night, sinking into the memory of the kiss as he brought himself to climax again and again. 

It was absolute perfection. Levi had done so well for him. That moment was everything that he had hoped for and more. Their first ever kiss.

The way that Levi wrapped his arms around Eren’s back, the way that he let out cute, breathy moans as the kiss deepened, the way that his hard length pressed against Eren. All of it! 

Simply everything about it was just so... so... 

Eren could feel his cock twitch as the memory flooded back into his mind, disabling all other thoughts, all other feelings, until the only thing he was capable of experiencing was his growing lust. He considered ignoring his urges and getting out of bed, after all, he didn’t want to be late for class today; but he was going to see Levi in class, and he figured that maybe getting his frustrations out now would make it easier to avoid getting hard in the middle of a lesson... maybe.

Eren reached down to grasp at his semi-hard cock, and thanked himself for sleeping naked that night, it provided him easy access in this moment. He sat himself upright, legs wide apart in the same position that he straddled his love the night previous. Eren let his eyelids fall until he was in total blackness, the only thing missing from his recreation was Levi, but his memory could provide him with a that for the time being. 

Like a blanket, soft, warm and comforting, Eren draped himself in the memory of the night before. Letting himself get wrapped up in it, and only it. He took a deep breath, and he swore that he could smell Levi’s cologne once again. The pillow below him served as a temporary replacement for the warmth of Levi between his legs, and then there he was, back in that moment, back down in that cellar with Levi under his spell. 

His cock was hard and aching for attention already as his imagination created the perfect image of what Levi looked like beneath him. If only Levi was here with him now, he would’ve been able to see everything all over again: the cute little blush that would paint his cheeks, the knotting of his eyebrows as he tried to resist his arousal, the look of defeat when his lust overpowered him. Ugh!

Eren palmed his erection, slowly, taking his time to enjoy the sensation. His tip was already leaking pre-come, making the glide of his hand smooth, almost effortless. 

In his mind, Levi was underneath him again, tasting the sweetness of his lips, his tongue. His eyes were hooded, as he looked up at Eren from underneath his lashes, eager and wanting. His rock hard length pressed up against Eren’s leg, and his hips bucking up desperately. 

“Ahh,” Eren let a breathy moan leave his lips as the first tingling sparks of pleasure began to build, he quickened the movements of his hand just a little, chasing the high that the feeling brought him. 

He drifted further into his fantasy, where Levi wrapped his arms around his back, digging sharp fingernails into his skin. Eren began to thrust into his hand in time with Levi’s imaginary thrusting. He looked so good, so god damn beautiful. His hair was rugged and messed up, the buttons of his shirt undone too low, and Eren wanted to tear the damn fabric right off his body. 

He would’ve imagined it, but he wouldn’t let himself get that far into the fantasy before he had experienced the real thing. Instead his dream love looked up at him and said to him in his oh-so-intoxicating voice: ‘Fuck Eren, I want you.’ 

“Oh, fuck Levi.” 

Eren could feel each thread of pleasure knitting together to create something much, much more. He stroked himself more rhythmically, gasping and moaning at every sensation that he let himself feel. He was impossibly hard, dripping pre-come, and the sensation he gave himself was building so quickly.

“Eren, I want you to fuck me so bad.” Eren let out a deep groan, his eyes squeezed shut as his fantasy lover begged beneath him, whispering filth up at him, each utterance more sinful than the last. 

“Eren, fuck me so hard. Bury yourself in me.”

“Levi.”

“Let me choke on you, my love.”

“Levi.” 

“I don’t wanna be able to walk when you’re through with me, Eren.” 

“Oh, Levi, fuck, fuck!”

“Come for me Eren.”

“Levi, I’m...”

“That’s it Eren, come.” 

As Levi commanded, Eren jerked himself to the peak of ecstasy, wailing Levi’s name as he tipped himself over the edge, spilling over his pillow messily whilst imagining Levi’s face taken over by lust, focused only on him as he climaxed. 

The room echoed with laboured breathing as Eren stroked himself through the last few quivers of his orgasm, letting his head fall onto the wall to steady himself. With the intensity of it all, he needed a few moments to regain his clarity, and he leaned panting against the wall for a good minute or so before lifting his head. 

That was great, but somehow Eren just didn’t feel fully satisfied. 

He needed more.

He needed the real thing.

 

Eren was especially excited about todays class. It was his first Japanese lesson with his love, and he had some special tricks up his sleeve to impress him. There was a warm breeze in the air, whipping up leaves of yellow and orange shades, swirling them up to Eren’s face. He batted them away playfully as he made his way to the department building with an honest to god spring in his step. He couldn’t wait to see Levi again. He couldn’t wait to see the glint in his eyes, to see what outfit he would be wearing today and what part of his gorgeous body it would flatter the most.

It was going to be magical, and Eren knew that the connection between the two of them would be back in an instant the moment that they locked eyes. 

The double doors of the department building slid open, and Eren could feel the warmth of the building straight away. It was snug, comforting, the perfect place to wait for class to start. There was a brightly coloured sofa, and a small coffee table covered in leaflets and books. He was exactly twenty minutes early, just as he’d planned, and that sofa looked like a fine place wait around for Levi and the rest of his class to show up.

Then all of a sudden, the boy was stopped in his tracks by a cold hand on his shoulder. He gasped, and a certain familiar cologne filled his senses. 

“Levi,” he smiled, turning around to face an expression as cold as ice. He looked so stoic, so strong, he truly was art. 

“Eren,” Their eyes met, and there was that spark. Eren was practically reeling from the feelings Levi’s presence gave him. “Follow me, I need to speak with you.” 

“Y-yes sir.” 

Levi led Eren up two flights of stairs, not turning to look back at him once. He could hear the brat’s annoyingly loud footsteps behind him so he knew that he was still there. Levi could only imagine what expression he would be making behind his back right now. He could practically feel the frustrating smile on the kid’s face as he followed him eagerly up the stairs, standing just a little too close to him for comfort. 

Levi had really hoped that the boy’s stunning beauty had really been nothing more than beer goggles exaggerating his natural attractiveness, but seeing Eren again today had disproved that theory. It seemed that the brat got more handsome every time that Levi saw him, and he cursed the both of them under his breath. Stupid kid, why did he have to look like that? All big eyes, long hair and muscles. 

It damn well pissed him off. 

Before too long Levi was leading Eren into his office. He smelled the door behind him, and as he turned to face the kid he noticed the wonder in Eren’s eyes as they scanned over all of his personal belongings as if he were glancing into Levi’s soul.  
The shelves were stacked neatly with books, all ordered alphabetically, and the decorations consisted of nothing but a couple of badly drawn sketches, probably gifted to him by a child, or so it looked. A medium sized cactus sat on his windowsill, and with the minimalist decor, it really did make the office seem more homely. 

Levi was sick of looking at his dumb, curious face. He hadn’t invited the kid up here for a fucking tour. 

Suddenly, and with a great majority of his might, Levi pushed Eren against the office wall. Eren gasped as Levi grasped at his arms, pinning them at either side of his head. The professor was much shorter than Eren, but somehow he still managed to force an intimidating scowl. Much to Levi’s dismay, it didn’t have it’s desired effect, and Eren could feel himself practically swooning over the man’s harsh actions. Levi was so close to him, and if he were just a little taller, their faces would be mere inches apart. 

“Listen up brat,” Levi hissed, glaring at Eren, his determination radiating from him. “I’m only going to say this once.”

Eren gulped, gazing down at Levi with adoration in his eyes. 

“What happened last night, is never going to happen again, do you understand?” 

Eren was dazed. What was he talking about? Silly Levi, of course it was going to happen again. It was going to happen again and again, and the next time they would go further, until their bodies were united as one. The thoughts rushed through his mind in a stampede, but he stayed silent. 

“There’ll be no more of this ‘I love you’ bullshit!” He spat. “I’m your professor, you’re my student. Nothing more.”

“You may say that Levi,” Eren said, glaring down at Levi’s body, leaning against his own. “But your actions speak for themselves.” 

Shit!

Levi took a step back. Without even realising it, his body had been pressed up against the boy as he pinned him to the wall. Why must his body always betray him like this? It was as if his brain was completely disconnected from everything else, and every disconnected piece of himself wanted to slam itself against the boy and take in as much of him as he possibly could. 

My god, Eren was oddly intoxicating, and Levi HATED it. 

“Fuck you,” he spat, ragging at the boy’s arms a little, pressing him harder against the wall. “Do you know what would happen if anybody found out about this? Huh? I would lose my job!” 

Eren winced when he saw Levi’s eyes soften at the mention of losing his job. 

“I would never tell anybody...” Eren began, but Levi cut him off.

“No, you won’t be telling anybody brat!” He let his rage seep out into his expression again as he stared Eren down. “Because there will be nothing to tell! I won’t lose my job because of one stupid mistake.” 

“What?” Eren could feel his face heating up. “Mistake? Mistake!” He pushed Levi’s hands off him, grasping at his slender wrists and gazing into his dark eyes. “Levi, don’t you get it yet? We’re meant to be together. You’re gonna love me, even if you don’t know it yet.” 

“Love you! Ha! I don’t even like you.” 

“Well,” Eren huffed, a smirk finding its way onto his face. “It certainly seemed like you liked me last night. It seemed like you liked me a whole lot.”

“Don’t you dare!”

“You’re attracted to me, I know you are!” 

“Piss off kid, I’m hardly going to throw away my pride and dignity, along with my career, just because you have sculpted cheekbones and a toned body!”

“It’s more than that, Levi. Just admit it to yourself... admit it to me.” 

“There’s nothing more, kid! Get over yourself!”

Eren had had just about enough of Levi’s lies. He squeezed at his wrists, dragging Levi closer and lowering his head so the two were at eye level. For a moment, all that they could do glare at each other, panting a little from their earlier frustrations. 

“You know what, Levi.” Eren grinned, loosening his grasp on Levi’s wrists, enough for Levi to wriggle free if he wanted to, but he didn’t. “If all there is right now is an attraction, then at least that’s something to work with.” 

“I told you, I...”

“If I can’t make you love me right now, then I’m gonna make you want me.”

Levi’s breath hitched in his throat. There was that look on Eren’s face again, the same seductive gaze that he gave to Levi in the moonlight the night before, that same gaze that made him lust for the boy until their tongues were in each other’s mouths, and Eren was thrusting against his hard cock in his trousers. 

“You won’t be able to resist me for long, Levi.” Eren purred, letting go of one of Levi’s slender wrists, moving his hand up to tangle itself in Levi’s thick, black hair. “I promise that when you finally cave in, i’ll make it worth your while.”

“E-eren...” It was unlike the professor to be so easily swayed with words alone. His head was relaxing into Eren’s hand, his lips slightly parted, and he could see Eren’s face moving toward his own at an alarming rate. 

“Give in, Levi.” 

Levi considered it, momentarily. 

It would be so easy, all he had to do was stand there, and he could taste Eren’s sweet lips once again. It was unfair for one person to be so damn sexy, and now, he was actually trying to turn him on. 

How was he going to resist Eren’s advances if he never stopped? How was it possible when he was so attracted to him? 

“No,” he managed to murmur. To his surprise, Eren stopped. “No, get off me. Get out of here.” 

The fire in his gut began to re-ignite itself, along with his determination. He would NOT risk his career for a fleeting moment of pleasure, no matter how much his body seemed to tell him that he wanted it. 

“Do you mean that?” Eren asked him, raising an eyebrow and gazing at Levi with his hypnotic, emerald eyes.

“Yes,” it took Levi all of his strength to say it, but he did. “Yes, I mean it. Now get the fuck out of my office.” 

Just like that, Eren’s hand was out of Levi’s hair, his other hand released Levi's wrist. The professor despised the fact that his body craved the boy’s warmth again, feeling a little empty without his touch. 

“As you wish, professor.” Eren smirked as he turned to leave the room, feeling proud that he had made his love look so flustered and lost. “But don’t think that I’m done with you.”

“Piss off,” Levi spat. 

“See you in class, professor.”


	8. In the Way

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> It's been a little while since I've updated because I've been very ill, but there will be another chapter update tomorrow as well <3 This fic is back :)

Just as expected, class had been an absolute nightmare. 

Not only had Eren delighted in calling him ‘Levi Sensei,” but the brat had put up his hand for assistance at every possible availability, meaning that Levi had to lean over by his side, close enough to smell his cologne and the sweet scent of his hair. 

It was exhausting. 

The students filtered out of the classroom one by one after the two hours were up, even Eren left without incident (although not without a sinful wink as he exited). The professor sighed, exhaling pent up air, relaxing muscles that he didn’t even know were tense. His hands worked on autopilot to pack away his books and notes into his briefcase, and his eyes would continuously flick back to the clock. There was a staff meeting in half an hour, and although he had plenty of time to spare, Levi didn’t want to be late. Apparently, this meeting was an important one. 

Professor Ackerman passed the remaining minutes by sipping on a coffee from a nearby vending machine, pacing back and forth, deep in thought. It was almost impossible to push the memories of the morning out of his head, and each time that he thought about how Eren’s strong hands felt around his slender wrists, he sunk a little further into disappointment in himself. 

Was it really so wrong to react in this way though? He was only human after all...

“Hey there, Ackerman!” 

The cheerful voice interrupted his train of thought, and Levi turned to see Erwin walking towards him, briefcase in arm. He was wrapped up in a knitted, green jumper and a pair of sweatpants. Much more casual than his regular work attire. 

“Can you believe that they have us in on our day off for a staff meeting?” He said, the upbeat tone of his voice making it difficult for Levi to believe that it really bothered him. 

“This isn’t my day off,” Levi told him blankly. “I teach Japanese class today, remember?” 

Erwin let out a forced chuckle, rubbing the back of his neck awkwardly with his palm and averting his gaze from Levi’s steely eyes. “Oh, of course. My bad!” 

“Tch,” Levi huffed under his breath. As annoying as Erwin’s freaky state of constant happiness could be, at least it was a damn good distraction from everything on his mind. “Shall we go into the meeting now? I don’t think they’ll mind if we’re early.”

“Sure buddy, let’s go!” 

\----

“Oh Eren,” Historia gazed at the boy with a genuine smile as they stood outside the lecture room door, waiting for their first class of the day. “You seem so happy today, it’s lovely to see.” 

Eren flashed her a dazzling smile, not noticing how it melted her posture. “Of course I’m happy, why wouldn’t I be?” 

It was true, after the events of the past two days, there was nothing that could dampen Eren’s soaring spirits, not even professor Smith’s boring, boring class. He was still coming down from the high of the kiss, from the way that Levi had almost failed to control himself in his office the day before. Today was a new day, and who knew what today would bring. 

“Oh, I think it’s time to go in,” Historia said as the classroom door opened; she waited for Eren to begin walking so she could follow at his heels like a well trained puppy. 

Today was going to be another good day, Eren could just feel it. He wasn’t sure why, until...

“Huh?” He almost stopped in his tracks when he turned the corner, shoes scuffling against the ground as his eyes shot to the front of the classroom. Professor Smith was by the whiteboard, as always, but by his side was Levi. 

That was different, but not at all unappreciated.

He looked practically angelic. His tight shirt was blue like a summer sky, and instead of his usual fitted trousers, he wore navy jeans. It was a look that Eren hadn’t seen on him before, and he thought that it made the professor look utterly breathtaking. It took a moment for Eren to remember how to walk again after taking in Levi’s beauty, but once he had composed himself, he took his usual seat near the front of the class. Historia plopped down next to him, scooting her chair over a little closer to his. 

Eren’s eager eyes studied every inch of his love as he waited patiently for class to begin. He looked flawless, as always, but something seemed a little different about him today. He seemed a bit agitated, somewhat restless. His eyes were fixed on his feet, his arms folded across his body tightly. He was chewing nervously on his bottom lip too. It was strange, Eren thought; Levi didn’t seem like his usual, confident, in-control self. 

“Ok class, simmer down please!” Erwin raised his voice, earning himself the attention and silence of the class. Levi looked as if he had jumped at Erwin’s tone, and he shuffled uncomfortably, leaning back against the desk. 

What was with him today? 

“We just have a quick announcement to make before we start today. That’s why we have Professor Ackerman for a few minutes.” 

An announcement? Eren could feel his gut churning a little, he could hear it too. Was this why Levi looked so uncomfortable today? 

“Ok professor,” Erwin said, looking over at Levi, breaking him out of his anxious trance. Eren could see Levi’s adam’s apple bob as he gulped, readying himself to speak to the class. 

“Right,” Levi raised his head, standing straight and narrowing his eyes as he addressed the class. Eren sighed in awe, there he was, the authoritative man that he loved so much. “I’ll make this quick because I don’t want to cut into too much of Professor Smith’s time with you.” 

Eren could feel a grin tugging on the corner of his lips. He could happily sit and listen to Levi speak all day.

“We were informed in a staff meeting yesterday that there’s going to be a linguistics conference in England, held at the prestigious Oxford University in one week.” A few of the students began to chatter, but one glare from the professor silenced them in seconds. “I know this is a little last minute, but the university that was meant to be representing our country has pulled out, and Sakura has been chosen in its place.”

Eren’s eyes widened. A conference, in England, with Levi. He HAD to go, by whatever means necessary! 

“Professor Smith and I get to choose one student each to bring along with us, one to discuss syntax, and one who will focus on phonetic subjects. Bear in mind that this trip will be all expenses paid, and it’s a great opportunity to meet some of the best linguists the world has to offer.”

This was perfect, just perfect! Levi had to choose him!

“So to make this fair, we will be holding a small, closed exam in place of tomorrow’s lecture. The highest scoring students in each section of the exam will be invited to come along with us to the conference.” By now, Levi was staring directly at Eren, locking eyes with the dewy eyed boy in a knowing fashion, and all of a sudden, Eren understood the man’s earlier discomfort. 

Eren knew more about syntax than every other kid in the entire class, he was bound to win himself that place on the conference trip! That meant he would be on a trip abroad with Levi! A chance to get to know him even better, to spend more time with him on an intimate level. Levi must’ve been terrified by the thought of it. There was no way that he could restrain himself around Eren like that, for such a period of time, one on one. 

“I know that it’s very short notice, but this is the fairest way to deal with the situation.” Levi said, breaking himself away from Eren’s stare, glancing back toward Erwin, who looked so excited that he could barely contain himself. 

“We’re both so excited!” Erwin chimed, “and we hope that you all are too!” 

“But don’t get too excited,” Levi interrupted, once again looking directly at Eren. “You have to come top of the class in the exam first, and I’ll be marking them myself.” He let a devilish grin fall onto his face, and Eren could feel his face prickling with heat. “Harshly.” 

\----

Eren was jubilant in his studying that night. He knew that he was going to ace that test, and he knew that he would be the one to join Levi on the trip to Oxford. Sure Professor Smith would be there too, and some other lucky kid, but they didn’t matter in the slightest. As confident as he was in his assumptions however, he knew that he should study anyway. Levi was going to be marking the tests himself, and with the way that he was resisting Eren’s advances as of recent, he knew that he would find any excuse to mark him down if he had the chance. 

Eren could not give him that chance. He had to be absolutely perfect. 

He was just finishing up one of the last nodes of a complex syntax tree when he saw his phone light up beside him, a message flashing across his screen. He glanced over at it in curiosity, and saw that it was from Historia. 

Historia: Hey Eren :) Hope ur studying is going well. Dnt listen to the rumours going round about Annie Leonheardt ok? I’m sure you’ll get on that trip by pure skill! I believe in you <3 

Eren gazed at the message in confusion, what the hell did she mean? 

Eren: What rumours? 

He began tapping his pencil against the hard wood of his desk. What was she going on about now?

Historia: Oh sorry I thought you’d heard! People have been saying that her super rich parents are trying to pay her onto the trip to discuss syntax. I know you’re top of the class in that department, and didn’t want you to worry :( 

Annie Leonheardt? Eren scratched his head with the sharp graphite of his pencil, and leant forward in his chair, reading and re-reading the message on his phone. Her parents were going to PAY her onto the trip! Surely that wouldn’t be allowed, right? His jittering mind was suddenly distracted by his phone flashing once again. 

Historia: Sorry I guess I’ve made you more nervous by telling you, huh? <3 :( 

“Tch,” Eren scowled, picking up the phone and tapping away at the keys with his thumbs at lightning speed. 

Eren: No don’t worry Historia, I’m fine. Thank you for telling me. 

He hesitated for a moment before adding ... :) 

Fuck. This couldn’t be happening, right? The faculty couldn’t just let some rich kid pay their way onto HIS trip! He slumped back into his chair, clasping both hands over his face as he tried to steady his racing mind. No, there way no way that Levi would be ok with that kind of shady deal. But what if... what if Levi had no choice in the matter? What if he was powerless to make the decision for himself, and all of the power went to the money-hungry higher ups?

No, no, no, no, no! 

This could NOT be happening! Eren could feel every thought racing through his mind at a thousand miles per hour. His mind scanning and testing every possibility robotically, running diagnostics, trying to find a solution. 

His phone flashed again, breaking the seemingly endless cycle of worry. 

Historia: Ok i’m glad to hear it, study hard Eren! You deserve this more than anybody! <3

“You deserve this...” Eren read aloud, his voice echoing through the otherwise silent room. Historia was right, he did deserve this. What the fuck was he moping around for? Of course he was going on that trip with Levi! One way or another, he was getting on that damn plane with his love and jetting off to that conference. No amount of rich parents or snobby, spoiled kids could stop his determination. 

“Levi,” he grinned, gazing up at the ceiling, brow furrowed, fire in his eyes. “I’m going to get a perfect score on your little test. I can’t wait to see you in England.” 

All he had to do was get back to studying. No more slacking, no breaks. 

He was going to that conference whether ‘Annie whatever-her-name-is’ liked it or not. If she tried to kick up a fuss, he would deal with her in his own damn way. She’d regret making trouble for him.


	9. Flying Colours

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Once again, thank you all so much for your kudos and comments it means a lot! Also happy new year

It was loud, much too loud. Every scratch of shoes against the carpet, every tap of fingernails against the wall, every mumbled word spoken in the distance, all merged together to make a sound too complex for comfort. Eren could feel the hot burn of frustration rising in his gut. He clenched his fists, fingernails digging into the soft skin on his palm as he tried desperately to ignore the people around him and clear his mind. 

Today’s test was important, and Eren knew that he had to achieve nothing less than a perfect score if he hoped to stand a chance at getting a place on the trip to England. He couldn’t stand the thought of another student sat by Levi on the plane, stood by his side at the conference, stealing HIS memories with his love! 

“Eren, how are you feeling?” He could hear Historia’s familiar voice behind him, and he turned to see her beaming blue eyes. It looked as if she had put effort into her appearance again today. Her dainty figure sported a tight, black dress, decorated with a sparkling, silver necklace. Her long, blonde hair was tied into a decorative bun on the top of her head, and her lips were graced with a shimmering, blossom-pink gloss.

“As ready as I’ll ever be,” He shrugged, giving the girl a forced, lopsided smile. “A little worried about that Annie girl I guess,” he admitted, letting his gaze drift to the floor. “I’m sure that professor Ackerman would never pick a student to take on the trip based on money, but damn, I really want to go.” More than anything he wanted to gain the place without incident, he really didn’t want to have to threaten that dumb, rich girl or anything.

Historia’s shoulders slumped, and her hand reached out to grasp Eren’s. “You’ll get a place on that trip Eren,” she reassured him. “If you don’t then the department will be hearing from me, I can be really annoying when I need to be.” 

Eren snorted, he was well aware. 

“Thanks Historia.” 

——

The hour of the test flew by, and Eren spent the last fifteen minutes with his arms folded across his chest, and his eyes on Levi. The professor sat at the front of the lecture room, his hand holding a fountain pen, gliding gracefully across paper. His note taking made for some brilliant distraction from the boredom of finishing his test with so much time to spare, and by the time that the bell rang and the students put down their pens, Eren was trying to snap himself out of a lust filled trance. 

“You finished so quickly!” Historia groaned as she followed Eren out of the classroom. “I swear you make me feel so stupid sometimes.” 

Eren turned to her with one eyebrow raised as the two paced the bustling corridor. “You’re plenty smart,” he told her, causing her round cheeks to flush crimson. She giggled nervously, and the two had almost made it to the door before they heard a voice that stopped them in their tracks. 

“I wouldn’t worry about your grade,” the monotone, female voice said to the girl by her side. “You won’t get a place on the conference trip anyway, my father is going to pay the university to make professor Ackerman take me, and the department have accepted his offer.” 

Was this…Annie? 

Eren sourced out the voice, finding that it belonged to a blonde haired girl, with a strong nose and grey, focused eyes. 

“Climb down out of your own ass, Leonheardt,” her friend spat back. “There’s still a space left with professor Smith.” 

“Whatever,” Annie huffed. “You’d have to be top of the class to gain yourself that spot.” 

Eren watched the girl walk away with a spring in her step, and her head held high. In that moment, Eren could swear that he’d never hated anybody as much as he did right now. Was this what the linguistics department really thought of his skill? He was the top of their first year class, and yet he could be pushed aside for money so easily. There was no way that Levi had agreed to bring that arrogant, spoiled brat right? 

“You… you ok?” Historia murmured from by his side. He’d almost forgotten that she was there, he really had to stop doing that. 

“Yeah don’t worry,” he faked a smile. “There’s still another spot left on the trip.” 

There was no point in telling Historia what he really felt. She was too sweet, she’d just tell him some sweet nothing to try and make him feel better, and that was the last thing that he needed right now. It was true that there was another place left on the trip, but it was with Erwin, not Levi. 

Eren could feel his heart sinking. He guessed, this was it then. If the department had accepted Annie’s fathers offer, then it was all over for him. There was nothing that Levi could do now, it was out of his hands. 

This couldn’t be the end… there had to be something he could do.

——

 

Since the trip was such a last minute affair, the results from the test were out and ready to be revealed by the end of the day. Levi’s classroom filled up with eager students as the sky outside began to darken, and Eren couldn’t stop himself from twiddling his thumbs under the desk nervously. 

Now that he’d heard that Annie Leonheardt was taking his much deserved spot on the trip, the next best thing that he could hope for was a place with professor Smith. It wasn’t what he wanted, but at least he would still have an opportunity to spend some quality time with his love in his free time. He would have to spend the conference with Erwin, and watch as Annie rich-bitch spent the entire day with HIS Levi, but damn, if that was all that he could get, he would take it. 

All he needed was a place on the trip. He could manipulate the situation to suit him once he got to it.

“I know it’s the end of the day, so I won’t keep you for too long,” Erwin smiled up at the students. “The tests have been marked, and we have chosen two students to bring along with us.”

Eren held his breath. If Erwin didn’t read out his name, he thought that he might just die. His heart was pounding against his rib cage, threatening to break through. 

“The student that I’ll be bringing along to represent phonetics will be…”

Come on, Eren thought. Say. My. Name.

“Annie Leonheardt.” 

Wait what…?

Erwin was taking Annie, not Levi? That mean that…

“And our syntax representative will be Eren Jaeger.” Eren’s name left Levi’s lips, and for a moment the world around him stopped. He didn’t notice the disappointed sighs of the students, or the genuine cheer from Historia by his side. He didn’t even notice the look of utter confusion on Annie Leonheardt’s face, nor would he have cared if he saw. In this moment, all he could think about was the web of opportunity that had been cast out before him. Piece by piece, the net of reality began to knit itself together, and the fact began to skin in. Eren was going to England, with Levi. 

After a few more words from Erwin, the students began to filter out of the classroom. Eren was glued to his seat, still processing the situation in which he found himself. Soon enough, the room was empty, apart from him and his love. 

Levi gazed at Eren with fierce eyes, and an honest to goodness smirk on his face. Eren felt as if he couldn’t breathe. 

“I assume you’re pleased,” he stated, pacing over to Eren’s desk slowly, a swing in his step as if he knew what his movements would do the boys mind. Eren was not expecting Levi to seem so calm about the situation, wasn’t he worried about spending time alone together? He wasn’t sure what it was, but something seemed to have changed his outlook entirely.

“I … I’m… yes.” 

“Well good, I needed the best of the best by my side on this trip brat, you hear me?” He reached Eren’s desk, slamming both hands down onto it and locking his eyes with the emerald orbs. “You won’t disappoint me now, will you?” 

Eren’s breath hitched in his throat. Levi towered over him when he was sitting, his raven hair falling forwards, his perfect body leaning in enough for him to smell Levi’s cologne. Fuck, he was gorgeous. It took such restraint for Eren to let him just stand there, those thin lips looking so lonely and starved of attention. 

“I’ll never disappoint you.” Eren told him, gazing up at his love with awe. “But I heard that you were supposed to be taking Annie Leonheardt, didn’t her father pay?” 

Suddenly Levi’s expression turned sour. “Tch,” he scowled, curling his top lip to reveal his pearly, white teeth. “Who does that brat think she is?” He spewed his words like venom. “Thinking she can just pay her way onto an opportunity like this. The department may have accepted it, but that doesn’t mean I have to.” 

“So you refused her… so I could come instead?” 

“Don’t take it so personal kid,” Levi grinned, looking over at Eren with a sense of hidden respect in his eyes. “After all that’s happened it would’ve been much easier to take the rich brat, but god damn it Eren you didn’t drop a single mark in that test. You deserve this more than anybody.” 

All of a sudden Levi’s change in attitude made perfect sense. He valued skill, hard work, determination over anything else, and Eren represented all three. No matter how freaked out Levi was about being alone with Eren, it could never measure up to how pissed off he was to be bribed by some rich bastard. 

“Levi…” 

“I don’t care about your personal feelings, I’m your teacher, and I care about your future, ok?” It was humbling, to see such genuine passion in Levi’s face when he talked about Eren’s future in this way. If only he could accept that it wasn’t just his future alone, but theirs together. 

That would have to wait. 

“Like I’d ever let money trump pure skill and dedication,” the professor huffed. “They must think I’m some kind of joke. If Erwin hadn’t stepped in and agreed to take her himself then who knows what would’ve happened to me.” 

“You would’ve risked your job?” Eren asked, raising an eyebrow suspiciously. 

“Well… no,” he admitted, “if it meant I’d lose my job I’d have to take her, but I would’ve damn well fought not to with everything I had.” 

Eren sighed, he could feel his heart brimming with admiration. He loved this man so much, everything about him. He didn’t live by some dumb, unrealistic set of morals, but he was just, and fair, and he fought for what he believed in. The department obviously didn’t know just how much of a firecracker Levi was when they hired him, the idiots. You can’t bribe a man like that, he’ll do what he damn well pleases for as long as he can. 

“Let’s show ‘em professor” Eren grinned devilishly, honoured to be a part of Levi’s fight against the system. “We’ll blow them away at this conference.” 

“That’s what I like to hear,” the smile returned to the older man’s face. “You’re the best at what you do Eren, remember that.” 

“I will professor, I promise that I’ll make this your best trip ever.” 

Levi hesitated for a moment. “Eren,” he told him, his tone firm and commanding. “Let’s put the past behind us ok? No more funny business.” 

Eren could feel his face getting warmer, “sure thing Levi…” 

Funny business? Was that what he called it now? I guess if that made him feel better then it wasn’t all that bad, but Levi had another thing coming if he thought that Eren would pass up a perfect opportunity at romance like this. He was a fool if he believed that he could resist Eren’s perfect charms for much longer. 

In less than a weeks time the two would be jetting off to England together, and Eren knew that he was going to blow Levi away at the linguistic conference. 

If he was lucky, that wouldn’t be the only blowing that he would do there. 

He couldn’t wait.


	10. Taking flight

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Thank you for reading so far into this slow burner! I promise that once they land in England things are going to get a lot more spicy between the two of them. 
> 
> The next few chapters likely won’t be particularly safe for work.

Today was the big day. Eren had barely slept, prioritising finding the perfect balance between comfort and style for his airport attire instead; by the time that he arrived at the airport at four in the morning his body was feeling the strain. It seemed as if Levi had the same idea, arriving with eye bags bigger than his hand luggage, but an outfit as sharp as his wit. The two gave each other a knowing glance as they made their way through customs; being prodded and poked by various security guards whilst in a state of exhaustion was hardly either of their idea of fun. 

The four wandered around the airport together for an hour or so before they were ready to board their flight. Erwin and Annie opted for getting fast food, Eren spent at least half an hour testing expensive colognes in the off licence, and for a short while Levi disappeared. Even in his tired state, Eren’s eyes had followed Levi around the airport, keeping tabs on what he was doing. A moment of distraction in the form of a particularly satisfyingly scented aftershave however, had caused him to lose sight of his love, and soon enough he was wandering the terminal in search of that raven black hair. 

It wasn’t long before Eren had spotted him, nestled amongst a cluster of people and tables, glass of white wine in hand. He felt his heart flutter at the sight of him, the lights in the room casting a beam off his shining glass that rested on his jawline like an angelic haze. Even sleep deprived and day-drinking, Levi was the epitome of perfection. 

“Professor,” Eren greeted him with a raised eyebrow, taking the seat across from him. The sentiment alone made excitement build in his chest. Sat across from him like this made it feel almost like a date. Levi stared back, expressionless. “Drinking already? It’s half past five in the morning.”

“I’m well aware of the time, brat.” He snapped back, lifting the glass up to his lips for a long, drawn out gulp. He didn’t break eye contact with Eren until he’d set the glass back down on the table with a metallic clink. The extended eye contact had Eren’s head swimming. How could a man make early morning alcoholism look so sexy?

“I didn’t mean to judge,” he protested, leaning back in his chair and flashing his love a dazzling smile. “I might just join you once we’re on the plane.” 

Eren could tell that the professor was about to reply with a sarcastic remark, as he so often did, but his train of thought was interrupted by a voice over the tannoy. ‘Could passengers for the 229 flight to London, please make their way to gate number three.’ 

“Well I guess it’s time to…” Eren stumbled over his words as he saw Levi downing at the rest of his large glass of wine in a couple of swift gulps. “Umm… never mind I guess.” 

It was strange, but even through Levi’s rugged sexiness, his elegant poise, Eren couldn’t quite shake the feeling that something was wrong. There was a certain sparkle in Levi’s eye that was missing today. Perhaps it was due to the tiredness, or maybe it was simply the fact that he was bored waiting for the plane. 

No… it wasn’t either of those things, but for the life of him Eren could not work out what was missing. All he knew was that he wanted it back, right now. 

The four boarded the plane without incident, taking their seats in a row of four. Levi was silent as he took the seat by the window, and Eren snaked in behind him, perching by his side on the next seat. Perfect! He had managed to secure the seat right by Levi’s side. It was like a dream, being able to soar through the clouds by his love’s side. To his annoyance Annie sat beside him, pungent with the scent of floral perfume and fast food. He huffed in protest, crossing his arms and turning back to face Levi. Eren was surprised to find that his love was biting on his fingernails, clicking the sharp nails between his teeth harshly. 

That was odd. Eren was sure that he’d never seen Levi bite his fingernails before. Something was definitely wrong with him today. 

Erwin chattered through the majority of the cabin crew’s safety speech about how excited he was to see Big Ben and Buckingham Palace, and honestly, both Eren and Annie appreciated his rambling. He somehow managed to make the long wait until takeoff a little more entertaining, but still, Levi stayed silent. 

The professor’s ranting was interrupted by the cheerful voice of the pilot preparing the passengers for takeoff, and before long, the lights in the cabin were out, and all that could be seen was the illuminating lights on the runway. Eren could feel his heart begin to pound, and adrenaline began to bubble up in his gut. This was it, the moment that he’d been gushing about for a week. His first trip abroad with his love, a chance to create memories that would last a lifetime.

He gazed over to his side, hoping to catch Levi’s eye as the plane began to build momentum, but when he saw the man’s face his heart dropped to his stomach. 

Levi’s eyes were wide, fear etched onto every perfect feature of his face as the plane began to speed, gaining altitude, ascending to the heavens . Then all of a sudden, the lightbulb over Eren’s head sparked. All of the strange behaviour, the drinking, the silence, that missing spark in his eye, it all made sense now. 

Levi was afraid of flying. 

How sweet! Yet another fact that Eren had now learned about Levi. 

The plane finally reached its intended altitude, and the red lights flashed above their heads to indicate that they no longer needed their seatbelts. The stewards paced along the aisle with their trolley full of food and drinks. By now Erwin was lying back in his chair, eye mask over his face to block out the bright lights. He must’ve been exhausted because he was snoring softly already. Annie had two earphones tucked into her ears, glaring at her phone screen, distracted from the world. 

From his side, he could hear Levi’s heavy breathing. It was slow, rhythmic, as if he were breathing in unison with a voice in his head. Eren had heard that breathing from Levi before, the night that he had found Levi on the floor in the beer cellar, just before the two had kissed. His posture was noticeably rigid, and his eyes would go from wide open, to screwed shut. Eren could practically feel the anxiety radiating from Levi, and when the steward came by with the trolley, he did what he could to help. 

“I’ll take a bottle of white wine please.” 

Levi glanced over at Eren as he took the wine from the kind steward, and turned to face him. 

“Dutch courage?” Eren smiled, handing the bottle over to Levi, who grimaced in return. 

“What?” 

“Oh sorry, my mother told me that having a drink can help with nerves, I thought maybe you could use a little more.” 

Levi tutted, narrowing his eyes at the kid as he hissed under his breath, “nerves? What makes you think that I’m nervous?” 

Eren looked behind him, Annie was still heavily distracted, Erwin was stilL asleep. 

“Come on professor,” Eren spoke a little quieter now, looking directly into his eyes. “It’s just the two of us, I won’t tell anyone.” 

“I…” Levi could feel his cheeks redden, and he quickly turned away to avoid Eren’s line of vision. The brat! How could he possibly know? Surely he hadn’t been too obvious about his discomfort. “I don’t know what you’re talking about.” 

“Right…” Eren decided not to pry. If Levi wanted to try and hide his fear that was his business, for now. “Well would you like to share this wine with me anyway?” 

The professor hesitated, turning to meet Eren’s gleaming, emerald gaze. “Ok then, if you’re offering.” 

As quickly as his anxiety had set in, it began to fade as Levi spent the next half an hour chatting to Eren about the conference. Annie slowly fell asleep, resting her pretty head on Erwin’s unconscious shoulder and purring like a sleeping cat. Eren could feel the happiness building up in his chest as the two spoke, comfortable and carefree. As Levi got more and more drunk, his posture began to soften, and soon he was slouched comfortably in his seat, grinning wholeheartedly as he chatted to Eren about his subject. 

It was truly admirable, Levi’s passion about his work. Eren could see that missing spark in his eyes once again. 

Eren could feel the butterflies in his stomach fluttering violently, battering his insides. He couldn’t possibly hold back the loving smile that spread across his face when he saw Levi relax a little in presence. It may have been the alcohol, it may have been the distraction of the conversations; but Eren knew that the real reason, was him. How could levi not have been comforted in the presence of the man who truly loved him? Eren would never let anything happen to Levi, and it would have been impossible for the professor not to feel the weight of Eren’s protection over him. 

It was all going so well, so perfectly, then all of a sudden…

The lights in the cabin flickered, and the passengers all felt a sharp jolt as the plane hit turbulence. With the shaking of the plane Levi lost all of the progress in comfort that he had just gained. His eyes were once again wide with fear, and Levi’s heavy, anxious breathing almost overpowered the sound of the captain telling the passengers to put their seatbelts back on. 

Eren could barely take it. Seeing his love like this, so terrified, so panicked, it was almost more than he could bear. Without a moment of consideration, his hand had shot into Levi’s trembling fingers. Eren squeezed Levi’s hand in his own, giving him his warmth, his love, his life with it. The lights flickered again as Levi gazed at the boy in awe, almost crushing his hand as his heart beat faster than ever.

Eren didn’t take this moment lightly. He knew that in this moment, Levi trusted him, relied on him, more than he ever had. 

“Levi,” Eren’s voice was low, comforting. He spoke to Levi as if he was the only person in the world. “Don’t worry, I’m here, nothing bad is going to happen to you.” 

Levi winced at his words. He knew that taking comfort from Eren in particular was wrong, but the terror in his soul was taking over his rational mind, and more than anything he needed the warmth, the safety… the love. 

He swallowed his anxieties, losing himself in Eren’s deep, calming voice. 

“It’s just turbulence, Levi. It’s all going to be ok.” 

The warmth of Eren’s hand in his own felt so homely, but the shuddering of his very core was so fierce. As the plane tremored, Levi found himself leaning further into the boy, taking in the scent of coconut from his hair, and the warmth of his youthful skin against his own. Somehow, without even trying, every anxiety melted away the closer that he got to Eren’s bright, green eyes. 

Levi gasped audibly at a particularly strong shake, and all of a sudden the boys hand was cradling his face. His lips were whispering sweet comforts, his thumb slowly stroking the soft skin on the back of his hand. “I’d never let anything happen to you, Levi.” He cooed, sensing the rapid heartbeat under the professors skin, “I’m here, everything will be ok.” 

Levi knew that once the fear had faded, this would feel wrong to him. Eren was his student, Eren was in love with him. However right now, Eren was the most perfect comfort blanket, he was everything that he needed, and Levi let himself get caught up in the boys soothing words. 

“Just breathe, lean right here.” Eren beckoned Levi’s head into the crook of his neck, and suddenly Levi realised that the mans body was trembling. His hands knotted in Levi’s soft, black hair, and he could feel his hot breath on his collar bone as Levi nuzzled into him. 

“Mhm,” Levi mumbled into Eren’s neck, his soft lips gracing the pale skin. Eren’s hand squeezed around Levi’s instinctively, and he could feel his muscles flexing and tensing around his love’s slender body. He was so close, so close to Levi. It was almost more than he could bear. The professor’s hand was warm in his own, his hair tickled the side of his neck, his hot breath rested on his skin. If Eren wasn’t so painfully aware of Levi’s fear, he was sure that he would be fully aroused at the contact. He was being touched by Levi once again, and every millimetre that the man pressed into him made him crave more of his body. The boy however seemed to have fully connected with his professor, and that included his discomfort and panic. His heart sped along with Levi’s, his posture only softened when Levi’s did, his eyes closed along with his love’s, and the two simply melted into the moment. 

“E- Eren…” 

Levi whined into the crook of his neck as the plane jolted again, sending him burrowing further into Eren’s hard posture. He hated his anxiety, hated it!levi knew that if he thought rationally, he could convince himself that the plane was t going to crash, that everything was going to be ok. That didn’t stop his irrational thoughts from scarring his mind though. That was just the nature of anxiety, of fear. He knew that his thoughts were silly, but he couldn’t control them, and he couldn’t stop them.

“Shhh…” the boy shushed him, stroking his hand through Levi’s hair in a comforting rhythm. 

Levi only gasped in response. What was he doing? 

He felt so dumb in this moment, so weak. He was normally poised, composed and put together. Right now however, he was a terrified mess. Levi knew that he was a nervous wreck on flights, he always had been. If he could avoid flying then he would, at any cost, but this conference was a once in a lifetime opportunity! He had prepared himself for the fear that he was going to feel, making sure that he’d had a drink, trying to distance himself from the others so they didn’t notice. He’d taken every precaution… so how? 

How did the kid know? How was he able to pick up on his terror so easily. It was ridiculous! It was god damn embarrassing! 

More than anything, however, how was the boy able to comfort him in this way? 

Why did the crook of the boy’s neck feel like such a safe haven? Why did his words sounds like the most comforting melody? Damn it, Levi knew that a moment like this would cause problems when the flight was over, but right here, right now, Eren was everything that the man needed and more. 

Despite the rational part of his brain begging him to pull away, to deal with his fear on his own, he just couldn’t. 

He wouldn’t. 

He would allow himself this one pleasure, because whether he Liked it or not, he needed it. 

“Don’t worry Levi,” Eren whispered into his ear. “I’m here, I’ll always be here.”


	11. Steam

It wasn’t awkward when the plane finally began its descent, when Erwin and Annie woke up and Levi had to snatch his hand away from Eren’s and take his head off the boy’s shoulder. It wasn’t awkward when Levi felt a sudden rush of panic as the plane’s wheels hit the runway with a heavy thump, and Levi’s hand instinctively grasped at the boy’s arm. It wasn’t even awkward when Levi, still shaking from the anxiety and still drunk, tripped on his way off the plane and Eren caught him in his arms before he hit the ground. 

It was fine, not awkward at all. That’s what he told himself. 

The air outside was bitter and icy, the temperature back home was much more forgiving. The four of them jumped in a sleek, black taxi and made it to their hotel in about half an hour. Levi made sure that he sat in the front seat to avoid any unnecessary contact with Eren. He gazed out of the window at the city sights as the car drove slowly, hitting traffic a couple of times. 

London wasn’t all that interesting, it was just like any other city really. How disappointing. 

The taxi pulled up at the hotel, and Levi could feel his heart skip a beat when he saw the lavish building. It was huge, and not only that but it looked fancy as hell! Twinkling lights were strewn decoratively over the arched doorway, and two men in tailcoats and top hats stood on the marble steps, waiting to greet any arriving guests. 

“Get out of town,” Levi muttered, still in awe of the hotel. 

“Huh?” Erwin glanced over to him, “what’s up buddy?” 

“There’s no way that Sakura put us up in a place like this,” he said, a hint of suspicion in his tone. “So what gives?” 

“Of course not,” Annie butted in smugly. “My dad rebooked for us, the hotel we were meant to be staying in was ghastly, it didn’t even have a spa!” 

“A… spa…” Levi didn’t care for the girl’s attitude, but after the ordeal of that anxiety inducing flight a spa sounded like exactly what he needed. The conference wasn’t until tomorrow, and he had half of the day left to relax. It wasn’t a difficult decision, he knew where he was spending the rest of his day as soon as he’d heard the word. 

After unpacking his bags, the professor made his way downstairs to the spa. It was a relief to hear that they would be providing him with a towel, he didn’t know that he would be visiting a spa in England, and so he obviously hadn’t thought about bringing any swimwear. He quickly changed, neatly folding his clothing into a locker before making his way into the main room. 

Holy shit! It was bliss, absolute heaven. 

The entire room was illuminated with a soothing, purple light. A bubbling, bright jacuzzi lay in the centre of the lavender scented room. All around were different glass doors, each one leading to a different variety of relaxation. Levi’s dark eyes were immediately drawn to the steam room, he couldn’t see through the clouded door, but considering that he hadn’t seen another soul in the spa yet he assumed that he would be the only one in there. 

His assumption was correct. 

Levi slumped down on the warm, wooden bench. He rested his weary head down on the head rest, and closed his eyes. Hot, soothing droplets of water sat on his bare skin, sinking down to his core. He could feel the steam clearing his lungs, coating his hair and his eyelashes as he let his eyes fall shut. Before he could even process what he was doing, he fell into a state of deep thought. 

What a day it had been.

Levi knew that he would be terrified on the plane, he knew that he would likely panic, but he wasn’t expecting Eren to come in like a fucking white knight and slay the monstrous fear so damn easily. He was a darn fool for letting him do that, him of all people… or at least that’s what he wanted to think. 

Eren was in love with him, for some reason; not only that but Levi was his professor! He should not have held his hand on that plane, he definitely shouldn’t have nuzzled into his neck like a god damn puppy! But then… if it was really so wrong, why did it feel so good? 

Countless people had tried, and failed, to get Levi to calm down on flights before. He’d had them hold his hand, try to distract him, his own mother had held him in her arms for a full three hours once and it didn’t put a single dent in his anxiety. Why was it that Eren was able to do what nobody else could? Why the fuck did his body and soul react so strongly toward that damn kid? 

Levi had already established in his own mind that he found Eren very, very attractive, but after what had happened earlier, he couldn’t help but consider the possibility that maybe there was more to him than that. He hated it, but he couldn’t deny that the boy made him feel safe and calm, hot and bothered, pissed off and exhilarated all at the same time. It was frustrating, but it was breathtaking. 

Ever since he’d shown up in his life that kid had awoken every emotion inside him, and amped them up to the point of overdrive. His mind told him that he wanted one thing, and his body wanted another. Being around that kid was a constant battle, and his rational thoughts would lose every time. 

He didn’t know what he wanted any more. He felt guilty for wondering if he could have his cake and eat it too; have this passion, and still keep his job. Ugh! Why was he even considering this? He finally had some time alone to relax and he was sat here pining over that damn brat like a schoolgirl! 

Maybe it was so hard to resist him because he’d been so open about his own feelings, he’d put himself out there on a silver plate like a god damn offering, and all that Levi had to do was reach out and… 

No! For fucks sake! “I’m still drunk,” he whispered to himself, leaning even further against the wooden bench, letting the warmth of the steam wrap him up like a wet quilt. This was fine, this would all be ok. These feelings would surely pass in time. He was probably just feeling a little closer to the kid after he’d managed to calm his anxiety, and he was misplacing his feelings of gratitude. 

Damn, maybe he just needed to get laid. 

Just as he’d come to that realisation, he heard the door swing open, and heavy footsteps padding against the tiled floor. 

He knew those annoyingly loud footsteps. God damn it. 

“Oh hey professor, mind if I join you?” It was Eren: because of course it fucking was. 

“You’re gonna join me either way Eren so you might as well just… do… do what you … want …” 

Levi’s voice trailed off to nothing when he turned his head and fixed his eyes on the kid. 

God fucking damn Mary mother of Jesus holy fucking shit. 

He had the spa’s white towel wrapped around his waist, and nothing else. It was a spa after all, Levi wasn’t sure what he had expected, but shit he wasn’t prepared for how good Eren would actually look in this state. He was toned like a god, steam turning to droplets of warm water against his skin, rolling down the contours of his abs, right down to his towel. Even through the mist Levi could see the glint in his dazzling eyes, and the way that the moisture clung to his tied up hair. 

He knew that he should look away, close his eyes, avert his attention, but he couldn’t. His eyes were magnetised to that damn perfect form once again, but this time it was something else entirely. Eren normally looked like an angel, dashing and charming and sinfully sweet. Right now though there was nothing angelic about him. His aura was a ring of burning flames around his devilish body, his innocent eyes not hiding the searing lust within them. He looked like a fucking sex god, like a demon hand picked by the devil to personally torment him. He was so domineering, stood by his side, tall and sexy and… wow Levi really did need to get laid. 

“Well I’ve brought this bottle of Prosecco for us if you’re interested,” he beamed, his lips failing to mask an arrogant smirk as he noticed the look on Levi’s face. The little shit, he knew exactly what he was doing. He really wasn’t lying before when he told Levi that he would make the professor lust after him, and of course he’d brought Levi’s one weakness: alcohol. Damn this brat knew him too well. 

“You trying to get me drunk or something?” Levi teased, moving over a little and giving Eren some room to sit down. 

“Well if you don’t want to then I suppose I can just get myself drunk.”

“Hmm.. gimme that.” 

Eren handed Levi the bottle as he took a seat next to his love, sitting a little closer than he should have. It seemed that he was pushing his luck a little too much today, and Levi noticed. Not that he could say that he was complaining. 

“I’ll get us some glasses too,” Eren quickly said, suddenly remembering that he’d forgotten them. Good grief, he was meant to swoop in all suave with a bottle for them to share and he forgot the bloody glasses! Typical, but oh well, only a minor setback. 

“Don’t bother,” the professor told him in his monotone voice, raising the neck of the bottle to his lips slowly and taking a controlled gulp. Eren could hear the liquid fizzing like the blood in his body that threatened to travel down south. He was always so fascinated by watching Levi drink, he looked hot, but he couldn’t let himself get carried away already, he had to make Levi want him more.

“Here,” Levi gave the bottle back to Eren, his skin sizzling at the touch of his hand, as if he could feel the lust on his surface. He took the bottle eagerly, throwing it back to taste some of the sweet liquid. It didn’t take long for him to realised that was a mistake. The beverage fizzed wildly against his lips, the pressure in the neck building and the liquid bursting out and splattering over his chest. Swiftly he pulled the bottle away, but it was too late, and he looked like a damn idiot. 

Levi began to laugh, “you moron.” His tone was light and playful, “you’ve got to drink a fizzy drink like Prosecco slowly from the bottle or, well…”

“This happens,” Eren grinned, looking down at his soaking chest. He would’ve been embarrassed, but he couldn’t bring himself to regret anything that he did that made Levi smile. “Well fuck.” 

“Fuck indeed.” 

Levi wasn’t subtle as he watched the drink roll over Eren’s pink nipples, down his toned abs. He wondered what it would be like to have a quick taste, if it would really hurt anyone if he indulged himself just this once. He gasped at his own thoughts, trying to push them back down into his loins where they belonged. 

Too bad that those thoughts were stronger than his willpower.

“Well I guess there’s plenty more left anyway,” Eren smiled, handing the bottle the back to Levi who took a shaky sip, trying to calm his nerves. The alcohol was a doubled edged sword in a situation like this: it calmed him down, but it also lowered his inhibitions. Was that a win win or a lose lose situation? Levi wasn’t really sure. 

“So about earlier…” Eren said, his voice low and quiet, almost a whisper. “I hope you’re feeling better now, and I promise that I won’t mention anything about it to anybody.” 

God damn it, did they really need to talk about it? 

“Yeah, thanks kid,” Levi knew that he would’ve been blushing like a fool if the heat hadn’t already coloured his skin. “It really did help, a lot, so thank you.” 

Eren glanced over at him, his face suddenly stoic and cold. “You’re welcome, but could you please stop calling me that?” 

“Calling you what?”

“Kid,” Eren spat the word out like venom. “I’m not a kid any more, I’m a man now.”

Levi hesitated for a moment before breaking into a smug smirk. The brat was cute when he was angry, maybe that was why Levi kind of liked the thought of pissing him off more. 

“You’ll always be a kid to me,” he smiled, knowing that the happier he looked about it, the more it would get under his skin. 

“Oh?” Eren turned to face him, gazing at him longingly under thick lashes. The steam in front of them was as visible as the tension between them, and Levi swallowed the urge in his body that told him to pounce. “Be careful what you say professor,” Eren moved in just a little closer. “Say that again and maybe I’ll have to show you how much of a man I really am.” 

Levi almost choked on his own saliva. 

“Oh please,” his voice broke embarrassingly as he spoke, trying so hard so cover up his arousal with cockiness. “You’ve got nothing to show me, I bet you’ve never even had sex before.” 

Eren widened his eyes innocently, cocking his head to the side in a coy fashion. “Sex?” He teased, “who said anything about sex, professor?” 

“Oh come on!” Levi spluttered, slamming his hand down on the bench in front of him, narrowing his hooded eyes and glaring straight through the boy’s pupils and into his soul. 

“Got something on your mind, sir?” 

“Don’t play coy with me brat, I know exactly what you’re trying to do here.” 

Eren grinned, walking two fingers up Levi’s arm slowly, seductively, until they reached his face and Eren’s palm cupped his pink cheek. “And what might that be Levi?” 

The older man could feel his bottom lip begin to tremble, and he bit down on it hard to stop his student from noticing. That pounding in his chest was back again, that hardening in his crotch and the animalistic urges in his head. “I’m not stupid, I know that you’re trying to turn me on.” He panted his words through heavy breaths as Eren’s fingers snaked up into his hair, tugging at it gently. 

“Hmm,” Eren’s lips tugged up at one side, his eyes drifting up and down Levi’s exposed body like he was a ravenous, sex starved monster. “I can see that it’s working.” 

God damn Levi wanted to slap that arrogant look right of the boy’s unfairly handsome face. Eren was right, it was working, but did he really have to be such a dick about it? Fuck, what should he do now? 

They were alone, far away from everyone that they knew, in an entirely different country for fucks sake! If Eren wasn’t his own student then he would’ve jumped at the chance to get dirty with a guy this hot. But he WAS his student, his student that was now currently stroking his face rhythmically, his student that had just given him an almost painful erection. 

He told himself that he wouldn’t cross this line, that he wouldn’t give in like this, so easily, with no fight at all! If there was a god, then he clearly hated Levi. Seeing Eren in front of him like this, offering himself, looking like THAT, and Levi’s knew that he shouldn’t touch him. It was basically akin to torture.

He should pull away, he should get up and leave, he should… but he didn’t. 

Instead he simply stared into Eren’s big, green eyes and wondered if it would really be such a crime for him to give in just this once…


	12. I’m a Man Now

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Yeah I updated twice in one day ... I couldn’t sleep! (Also I have an exam in four hours pray for me)

“Eren,” Levi breathed in the boy’s scent along with the lavender that hung in the air. He couldn’t stop staring at the way that the water glistened on Eren’s smooth skin, the way that his teeth nipped at his bottom lip as he knotted his fingers further into Levi’s damp hair. Eren was very forward about his intentions, as he always had been, but right now it was difficult for Levi to resist him. 

“Yes, Levi.” 

“You know that this is wrong, don’t you?”

Eren rolled his eyes in a fashion that reminded him of Levi, which only turned him on more. “Is it?” He purred, “I disagree.” 

The professor huffed, still not doing what he believed was right and shaking his student off his body. “Come on Eren, don’t make me tell you again, you’re my…”

“Your student, I know.” Eren wasn’t deterred by Levi’s protests. Levi wanted this, it was obvious to anyone, and the only reason that he was resisting was because of one flawed moral that he tried to live by. It was pointless! They both wanted each other, even if Levi didn’t know that it was true love yet. Why wouldn’t he just give in and admit it? 

“Don’t you understand that it’s wrong?” Levi asked, reaching out to grasp the hand that was tangled in his hair and moving it down to the bench. He kept hold of Eren’s hand, looking into his eyes as he asked. It wasn’t a rhetorical question, he needed to know. 

“No, I don’t.”Eren told him sternly, “if it feels good, and right, then how could it possibly be wrong?” 

Levi winced, “I could lose my job Eren.”

“But does that make it wrong?” He reached down to clasp Levi’s hand between both of his own, pulling him closer. “That doesn’t make sense! I’m an adult, you’re an adult, we’re both attracted to each other, why does it matter what your job is?” 

“I…” Levi wasn’t sure what to say, the kid had a good point.

“Aren’t you sick of living by rules with no value behind them? Don’t you want to be completely in the moment, live your life, enjoy yourself?” 

“Eren…” 

“Fuck those rules! If you trust me then you know that I wouldn’t tell a soul, or put your job at risk. I’ll only be your student for a few years anyway!”

“Seriously I…” 

“Well if this is wrong, then I don’t want to be right! I don’t care what your bosses think, you should live your life for yourself, not for them…” 

“Eren, shut the fuck up!” Levi raised his voice, cutting Eren off in his tracks. Eren wasn’t wrong, Levi wanted him now more than he ever had, and even if it was only for a moment, he agreed with what the boy was saying. There was nobody here to see them, he was almost unbearably turned on, and Eren was right there in front of him looking like a Greek god. 

Who was he holding back for? The higher ups in the linguistics department? Those assholes who tried to bribe him into taking that dumb, rich girl to the conference with him. Not a chance! He deserved to be in this moment, he deserved some relief after the torment that resisting Eren had caused him. Every fibre of his being told him to go for it, and for once, he decided to listen to his body. His mind may have been torn, but god damn his body was not. 

“Shut up,” Levi breathed, throwing his hand up to grasp at the back of Eren’s head, resting his forehead against him. His shoulders were heaving visibly as adrenaline began to course through his veins, powering him on as he smirked in the boy’s shocked face. 

“Make me,” he dared. 

Oh fuck, he’d really done it now. 

Levi’s lips crashed into Eren’s hungrily, and Eren practically moaned into his mouth at the contact, as if he had been aching for Levi’s touch. He wrapped his arms around the smaller man, dragging him in closer, wrapping him up in his body heat. Then all of a sudden a firm tug placed Levi on top of Eren, thighs at either side of him, hands knotted deeply into his hair. 

This was so different from their first kiss, just as hungry, but this time Levi was in total control. There was no reason to hold back any longer and it showed in his actions. His towel had unravelled, and it hugged around his hips lazily, revealing his erection to the open air. Eren looked down to see his prize, and he audibly gasped. 

Holy fuck, this was actually happening. Everything that he’d ever dreamed of was in his grasp, close enough to taste. He delved his tongue back into his love’s mouth, wrapping his arms around him tightly, as if he would never let him go. “Levi,” he whimpered, gazing up in complete awe at the man’s perfect frame on top of him. His gorgeous, pale skin was wet from the steam, and his mysterious eyes were brimming with passion. This was an image that Eren would keep with him until the day he died. 

“I hope you know that I can’t fuck you here in this damn steam room,” Levi managed to pant between indulgent kisses. 

Eren hissed in protest, “not fair.” He had waited years for this moment, and who knew when he would get another. There was nothing that could possibly stop him now, he was nothing more than a demon, possessed by love. His hand moved without permission from his brain, wrapping itself around Levi’s hard cock without warning. The two of them gasped in unison at the sensation. 

“Calm down, insatiable bastard.” Levi grinned at Eren’s eagerness, craving his release just as much. He wanted to come so badly, but even in his most vulnerable state he wasn’t an idiot. “Remember that we’re in public, we have to wait until we’re in a bed before I’ll let you fuck me, understand?” 

“Can’t wait,” Eren purred, slowly beginning to stroke his hand up and down Levi’s length. He swore that his head almost exploded when Levi let out a wanton moan in response. 

“Now now,” the professor teased, placing a single finger under Eren’s chin and lifting his face up until their eyes met. “You told me that you were going to show me that you’re a man, but you’re acting like a spoiled little brat Jaeger.”

Eren practically snarled at that comment, determination building up in him to a dangerous level. He wanted to see a man? He wanted Eren to be patient? Fine, Eren would show his professor just how patient he could be. He was going to make Levi groan and beg and writhe before he touched himself at all. 

That’d show him. 

All of a sudden, Eren’s arms slid under Levi’s thighs, lifting him right into the air. His legs wrapped instinctively around Eren’s waist, and their lips found each other once again in a deep kiss. “Levi,” he breathed into his ear before setting him down gently on the highest bench in the room, steam clouded his vision and power clouded his mind. “Let me show you what I can do, then later on you’re gonna take me to bed, and let me fuck you, hard.” 

“Is that so?” Levi smirked down at him from his high bench. He looked regal, looking down on him like that. 

“I’ll make you tell me yourself before I let you come.” 

God damn, Eren was filthy! At this point Levi didn’t have a shred of regret for caving in to his urges. They hadn’t even started yet and this was already the hottest sex that Levi had ever experienced. It would’ve been easy to say that it was because Eren was so damn gorgeous, but Levi knew that it was more than that. There seemed to be some kind of raw connection between the two that made them need more and more of each other. At no point did they lose contact, whether it was through their eyes, or their bodies. 

Eren positioned himself on his knees in front of his love, ready to please. He couldn’t wait to hear the noises that he would make, he couldn’t wait to feel him at the back of his throat. Eren knew that he would excel at this particular act. Even though he was a complete virgin, it wasn’t as if he hadn’t trained himself for this moment. He gave Levi one last sinful smirk before dragging his wet, hot tongue up the length of Levi’s shaft. 

The professor choked on a quiet moan at the teasing, keeping his eyes fixed directly on the boy, who in turn gazed back up at him with wide eyes. Damn he looked good like that.   
Eren absolutely revelled in the sensation of Levi’s skin under his tongue. It was everything that he’d expected and more, and he began to feel dizzy with excitement. He swallowed the tip into his mouth slowly, delighting at the absolutely sinful groan that escaped his love’s perfect lips. His pleasured sounds only spurred him on to take Levi deeper, deeper, until there was nothing left to take. 

Holy fuck! Levi could feel his entire length wrapped up in tight, wet heat. Did this guy have no gag reflex at all? It was genuinely impressive, and when he began to bob his head slowly, rhythmically, Levi had to throw his hands up to his mouth to stop himself from alerting the entire hotel to their antics. How in the fuck was Eren so good at this? And… oh shit what was he doing with his tongue?! The tip of Eren’s tongue swirled around the head of his cock and it felt like magic! If he kept going like this he wouldn’t be able to last for long. 

Eren’s body was practically vibrating with joy as he pulled moan after delicious moan out of his love. He hummed against Levi’s cock, enjoying the taste of his pre-come, the feeling of the soft skin against his tongue. His own length was aching between his legs, but he didn’t care. There was nothing that he had ever wanted more than to please Levi, and this moment was no exception. He needed more, more noise, more movement, more Levi. 

“Ahh, fuck,” Levi breathed, his hands finding their way into long, dark hair as Eren put his skilled mouth to use between his legs. He could feel a warmth building up in his gut, and tiny shocks of pleasure shooting through his body as the ecstasy began to build. “E-Eren…”

Eren groaned in elation at the sound of his name falling so gracefully from Levi’s lips. It sounded perfect, he would’ve set it as his damn ringtone if he could. 

The heat continued growing, and soon enough Levi’s body was twitching as the pleasure threatened to take over. His hips were involuntarily bucking up to meet Eren’s quickening movements, and the sounds that he made were no longer toned down for the sake of anybody else. In this moment, nobody else existed: just himself and Eren, alone in this room. 

Then suddenly, it stopped. 

“What….?” Levi was stunned, glaring down at Eren like he’d just killed someone. What the fuck did he think he was doing? 

“Say it,” Eren demanded, palming at Levi’s dick lazily in his hand so he didn’t lose too much momentum. 

“What!?”

“Say it,” Eren repeated, “tell me that you’ll let me fuck you, Levi.” 

“Seriously?” 

“Tell me how much you want me to fuck you, and I’ll let you come in my mouth.” 

Holy fucking hell! This kid was all sorts of annoying, but he was without a doubt the single hottest thing that Levi had ever seen or heard. 

“Listen up,” Levi scowled, glaring down at Eren with something akin to disgust on his face. That look suited him, and it would make everything all the more rewarding when Eren wiped that look right of his face and replaced it with one of pure ecstasy. “After you’re done here I’m going to take you up to my room, and you’re going to fuck me so hard that I won’t be able to walk straight at that damn conference, you hear me?” 

“Levi…” Eren was almost dumbfounded, paralysed by his own arousal… almost. 

“Now finish me you idiot, don’t make me tell you twice.”

Eren was more than happy to do what he was told, wrapping his lips around Levi once again, feeling giddy as he listened to the dirty sounds that poured out of him. His hands were back in his hair, pushing him down lightly until there was nothing left for Eren to take back. There it was again, that indescribable pleasure that stacked layer upon layer of warmth over his body until it became crushing, too overwhelming to ignore. 

“Oh fuck Eren I think I’m gonna…” with a final hum against the length in his mouth, Eren brought Levi to an almost deafening climax, swallowing his load longingly as if he couldn’t get enough. Levi’s body slowly began to stop twitching, his heavy breathing became gentle panting and his heart rate gently went back to normal. The man was dizzy from the thrill of the best head that he’d ever received in his life, he still couldn’t quite believe that it had happened. 

“Come on,” he finally managed to mumble, still high from the afterglow. 

“Huh?” Eren had managed to catch his breath again, and he looked up at his love nervously. 

“Up to my room, now.”


	13. First Time

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> DON'T READ IN PUBLIC: YOU HAVE BEEN WARNED.
> 
> Also I start classes again tomorrow and I just looked at a picture of my new lecturer and he's goooorgeous... getting some Eren vibes right now plz save my soul :')

After throwing their clothing back on, desperately trying to avoid each others line of vision as they changed so they could keep their composure and handing in their towels, the two made their way back to the hotel foyer in complete silence. There were people everywhere, dragging suitcases, talking, laughing. Levi was sure that he could feel beady eyes following him and Eren across the room, as if they knew what he’d just done, and were judging him. 

Now Eren couldn’t take his eyes off his love. His head was still spinning, swimming with memories of what Levi had just let him do. It almost hurt to be apart from Levi right now. Their bodies had been so close, connected, and now even though they were walking side by side, the lack of touch felt like an ocean between them. 

The professor could feel the tiny, soft hairs on his skin standing on end as he and Eren waited outside the lift. He didn’t dare to look over at the boy, scared that if he laid eyes on his face the magnetic tension would draw them back together again. He didn’t want to wait, his chest was practically heaving as he restrained himself, but he had to. He at least had a little restraint... or so he thought. 

It was never Levi’s intention to give in so easily, it wasn’t his intention to give in at all! Yet here he was, leading his own student up to his room in a lust filled haze. One minute Levi had been so determined to resist Eren despite his attraction, but all it took was a few coercing words from the boy’s sweet lips and Levi had fully submitted. He was under Eren’s spell, and he was beginning to question whether he had been searching for a reason to give in to his urges all along. Eren had given Levi a slightly plausible pep-talk and Levi had latched onto it like a leech, throwing aside his supposed pride with ease. 

A loud ding echoed through the room as the lift arrived, Eren followed his professor inside and the doors slowly slid shut behind them. The two weren’t even fully out of sight yet before they were on each other. Eren’s strong hands grasped Levi’s delicate wrists, pinning the smaller man to the wall. Their mouths were open, gasping and connected. Their tongues fought for dominance. Eren was rock hard, almost painfully so, his erection pressing against Levi’s trembling body as he rutted up against his love eagerly. 

They were god damn lucky that nobody was there when the lift doors opened again, because the two didn’t stop even then. Levi grabbed Eren’s hand, practically dragging him down the hallway and to his hotel room. He didn’t even think about the fact that Erwin’s room was next door to his own. He didn’t consider the risk that the two of them could be caught. His fingers raced to unlock the door, and as soon as they heard the click of the lock Eren’s arms had made their way under Levi’s legs, scooping him up, lifting the man so both legs were wrapped around his torso. 

They fell into the room, Levi kicking the door shut behind them as he tangled his slim fingers through thick, dark hair. Their lips were still pressed against each other as Eren laid his love down on the crisp, white sheets. He pounced onto him like a wild cat on it’s prey, eyes glowing with anticipation. He had waited so long for this moment. He knew exactly what to do with him and he couldn’t possibly wait a second longer. 

Levi look so damn sexy lying on the sheets, waiting to be fucked like a rag-doll. His cheeks were lightly flushed, his wrists up by the sides of his head as if he were waiting to be pinned back down and destroyed. Damp, black hair was ruffled and his chest heaved more with each heavy, wanting breath. He was truly flawless, the most perfect work of art ever created.

Eren loved him so, so much. 

“Levi,” the name fell out of his mouth in a gentle breath as he looked down at him, catching his lips in a gentle, tender kiss. Levi’s dark eyes were alight with the glistening of a thousand stars, his slender body nestled in the cotton, awaiting Eren’s touch. 

“Eren,” the boy nearly whimpered at the sound of his name leaving Levi’s lips. “Are you sure that you want this?” 

“Are you serious?” Eren huffed, dipping down to catch Levi’s bottom lip between his teeth. He pulled lightly, drawing an erotic moan from his professor that set his heart aflame. “Fuck, I’ve never wanted anything more.” 

A short, sharp exhale that mimicked a laugh left him, and a smirk formed on Levi’s face. “Well then, you’d better fuck me good Jaeger.” 

Those words were too much, they drew out the demon lurking within Eren and suddenly he was acting on pure impulse. He raised himself up to his knees, both hands gasping at Levi’s shirt, pulling it apart until the room was spotted with the sound of little, white buttons bouncing off the wooden floor. Levi didn’t reprimand him, instead practically growling up at the boy as his small hands tugged at the hem of Eren’s jeans violently until his button popped open and his zipper snapped and broke. 

“Fuck,” Eren could feel his bottom lip trembling. Slowly, he lowered himself down onto Levi’s hardening crotch. He swayed his hips back and forth, stroking a warm hand up Levi’s smooth chest until it knotted into his drying hair, the other hand took both of his wrists and pinned them above his head. “Do you know how long I’ve wanted to do this for?” 

Levi’s anxious gulp was audible, and he purred back up at his student, “how long?” His voice was dripping with a teasingly calm and coy tone. “Tell me Eren, tell me how much you want this.” 

Levi was sure that he’d gone insane at this point, but he didn't care in the slightest. The thought of Eren pining for him made his cock throb. He hadn’t wanted to admit it to himself, but the boy’s attraction to him turned him on in a way that he couldn’t justify to himself. It was wrong, dangerous, but that only made Levi want it more. The fact that a guy as smoking hot as Eren had a boner for him made him want to come in his damn pants. 

“I’ve been imagining what it would be like to fuck you since the first moment I saw you,” Eren admitted, pulling Levi’s hair until their lips were mashed back together. Levi could feel the warmth in his crotch spreading through his body. Holy shit, he wanted this damn brat so much. “Do you know how many times I’ve touched myself because of you?” 

“Fuck, really?” Levi was dizzy from the blood in his brain rushing to his cock. His attention was drawn equally between gazing up at Eren in lust, and thinking about Eren doubled over in pleasure, touching himself, thinking of him. He had to tense the muscles in his thighs and ass to stop himself from bucking up into Eren’s erection like a pathetic little sex doll. 

“Yeah,” the faintest shadow of a blush graced Eren’s cheeks as he spoke. “You’ve made me hard so many times.” 

“Even in class?” Levi regretted the question as soon as he’d asked it, fearing that if he knew the answer, he’d never be able to concentrate on lectures ever again. 

“Fuck, Levi...” Eren grinned down at him, flashing his dazzling, white teeth. “You have no idea how many times I’ve been hard in class for you.” 

Fuuuuuuuuuuuuck. Just the thought of that made Levi almost lose his mind. He was just a professor, a normal man, right? For some reason this insanely hot younger guy wanted him to the point of obsession, but although Levi didn’t understand it, right now he wasn’t complaining. Eren was young, beautiful, sexy; why in the world would he want a guy like Levi? Levi was moody, short, almost twice his age! It really didn’t make an ounce of sense to the professor, but he knew that the attraction was real. Eren wanted him. That fucking perfectly sculpted devil wanted him so badly and Levi wanted nothing more than to indulge Eren, and in turn, himself.

“Eren, fuck me right now.” 

With tugs and pulls and hard throws their clothes were off their bodies and and in crumpled piles on the floor. Eren raised his head, the sight of Levi naked and vulnerable making his length weep with pre-come, and his heart skip a beat. He looked like an angel, slender and toned and cushioned in soft, white fabric. 

Levi’s eyes were drawn straight to Eren’s hard length. Fucking hell he was HUNG. He knew his own body and he knew that he was tight; it was going to take a lot of stretching for Levi to be able to take something that damn big, but he wanted it badly. He knew just how amazing Eren would feel when he broke into his walls, and he needed his hardness to fill him up.

As Levi commanded, Eren obeyed. He couldn’t wait any longer. 

Fingers much longer and thicker than Levi’s own positioned themselves at Levi’s pale lips. 

“Suck,” Eren ordered, Levi furrowed his brow at the demanding tone, but complied. Eren shuddered at the feeling of warmth around his fingers as Levi coated them in thick, wet saliva. He grinned as he spread Levi’s legs open and positioned the fingers at his entrance. The professor's hole felt tight as he pushed his two fingers against it. 

“Just one,” Levi hissed up at him, narrowing his dark eyes and grasping Eren’s bulging bicep in a moment of panic. 

“One?” Eren said, quickly tucking one of his fingers up into his palm. “Fuck, you’re really tight aren’t you?” 

“Piss off,” Levi scowled, averting his eyes in embarrassment. Eren could feel butterflies in his stomach when he noticed the pinkness in Levi’s cheeks. Holy fucking shit, Levi was adorable when he was embarrassed. It was insane how somebody crafted like a work of art could ever have a single hang up or insecurity. 

“Hey,” Eren took his free hand and cupped Levi’s cheek, looking directly into his eyes. “Don’t be embarrassed, that’s a good thing.” 

“I’m not emba....aaaaaah fuck!” 

Eren took his love off guard when his single finger penetrated Levi’s body, sliding into him slowly. God damn Levi really was tight. Eren could feel his puckered hole stretching out around his finger, and he lapped up the absolutely delicious whines that Levi made as he took the length of Eren’s finger inside him. 

“Feel ok?” Eren asked, waiting for Levi’s confirmation before he went any further. 

“M-more...” 

He smiled before pushing his finger a little deeper, pulling it out a little, and pushing it back in. Levi squirmed underneath him, throwing his head to the side in bliss. If Eren’s body wasn’t working on autopilot and muscle memory then he would’ve been turned to stone at the sight alone. Levi looked even better like this than Eren could’ve dreamed of! One look at his cute, flushed face and Eren couldn’t wait to make Levi look like this over and over for the rest of his life. 

“Fuck,” Levi whimpered as Eren’s finger buried itself a little deeper than it had before, brushing against his sweet spot ever so slightly and sending a spark of pleasure through his body. 

Eren’s brain began to short-circuit. He’d found the place inside his love that would make him see stars, and just that minimalist moment of contact with it was probably the greatest moment in his entire life. He couldn't resist touching Levi’s prostate over and over, watching his perfect, porcelain face as his lower lip trembled and his mouth hung open to release deep, sensual moans. 

“Eren,” Levi breathed, is eyelids fluttering open to see the boy’s gorgeous face looking down at him. “I can take more now.” 

“Hmm...” he pretended to consider, tilting his head to the side in a coy fashion. “More?” 

“Yes m-more you...b-brat...” Levi tried to sound stern, but Eren pushed up against his prostate again and it was as if he’d turned off Levi’s ability to speak properly. “Another f-finger...”

Eren tentatively added another, watching for his love’s reaction to make sure that he wasn’t giving him more that he could handle. He could feel the stretch around his fingers, but Levi huffed in determination, relaxing his body and warming to the extra width in no time. Eren scissored his fingers in and out for a while before Levi felt that he was stretched enough for Eren’s cock, brushing his prostate again and again until Levi had melted into the sheets, babbling obscenities up at his doting student who watched him in amazement. 

“Does that feel good, professor?” Eren cooed, his face etched with smugness. He already knew the answer, he could see it in Levi’s every reaction to his touch. He knew that he could make Levi come apart with pleasure, they were meant to be together after all. Their connection was unrivalled, Eren knew it. 

“F-feels so good,” Levi whined, "but I can take more now...”

“Are you sure?” 

“Mhmm,” Levi was absolutely sure. He wanted to be fucked, he wanted to be stretched and smacked and pierced by fingernails as Eren took him from behind and had his way with him, treated him like a sex toy. He wanted to feel Eren’s cock so deep inside him that it filled him up; he wanted to come so hard that he couldn’t move for the rest of the night. “I want you in me.” 

This was it, the moment that Eren had dreamed of, the moment that he had craved. He was finally going to unite him and his love in both body and soul, create a connection, an unbreakable bond between the two that would last forever. He placed his hands on Levi’s shoulders, beckoning him to sit up, and catching his sweet lips in another kiss when he did so. 

“Turn around,” he ordered, and at this point Levi was beyond caring about the demand in his student’s voice. His cock was hard and aching, his hole stretched and feeling empty without his presence. He needed this so badly. 

Levi turned around and brought himself up to his knees so he was facing the wall, Eren drank in the sight of his perky ass, bare and pert and so damn grabbable. One of his hands came down to cup a cheek, squeezing it roughly. 

“Knock it off, brat.” Levi spat, turning his head to the side to catch a glimpse of Eren’s godly, muscular body. One look at that perfect physique and Levi couldn’t possibly be angry any longer. His hands rested out onto the wall, and Eren’s arm snaked around to pin one of them there with his own. His other hand grasped at his aching cock. 

“Hang on,” Levi interrupted the sexual tension for a moment. “My bag is by the side of the bed, there’s lube in there.” 

A wide grin spread across Eren’s face. “There is, huh?” He teased, stroking a hand up through Levi’s hair and pulling is head back roughly until their eyes met. Levi snarled at the boy as he was held in place, unable to move, to break free of Eren’s strong grip. “Why did you bring lube Levi? Did you plan on getting fucked by me all along?” 

“Shut up,” Levi growled, wallowing in the slight humiliation of being held there. His hand was pinned against the wall, his head pulled back, he couldn’t move if he wanted to, and he hated the fact that made his cock harder. “It’s just a useful thing to carry around, that’s all.” 

Eren released his love, and Levi spread his other hand out onto the wall to steady himself with a loud slap. The student reached down into Levi’s black, leather bag and found a bottle of lubricant. There was no flavour, no promise of a special tingling sensation, it was just plain lube. Eren loved that, it meant that every sensation that Levi’s body experienced would be due to him, and him alone. No extra help, no interference. 

He resumed his position, pinning one of Levi’s hands to the painted, white wall and positioning his cock at Levi’s entrance. He coated his dick with a generous amount of lube, shuddering at the sensation of his hand stroking up and down his attention-starved shaft. 

“You ready, my love?” 

“Just put it in already! Idiot.” 

Eren pushed into Levi’s hole with consideration, feeling the head get wrapped up in heavenly, tight heat. He couldn’t hold back the groan that escaped his throat as every nerve in his sensitive tip tingled in anticipation. Levi drew in a sharp breath through clenched teeth. 

“I’ll g-go slowly, ok?” Eren reassured him. 

“Not a fucking chance, kid.” Levi told him, his voice strained as his body adjusted itself to the intrusion. “You’re gonna fuck me properly, do you understand me?” 

Eren pushed himself in a little further, earning an honest to god squeal from his love that delighted him in ways that he didn’t know were possible until this moment. “I don’t want to hurt you though...”

“You won’t!” He snapped, his hand scrunching into a tight fist against the wall underneath Eren’s palm. “Now don’t make me tell you again, I can take it.” 

For a bottom, Levi was damn dominant! Eren had always found his assertiveness attractive, and in the bedroom it was even hotter than he could have imagined. He was so small, so easily dominated in a physical sense, but mentally he still had Eren wrapped right around his little finger, and he knew that the boy would comply to his every demand. 

More quickly than he thought he should’ve, he pushed himself inside his love even deeper, gently rutting inside him. He wanted to take Levi apart, he wanted to feel his walls clench around him as he came. Fuck it, he pushed himself in deeper, harder, until he heard the desired satisfying moan from his professor that told him that he had hit his prostate. 

“Oh fuck, Eren,” he breathed, “that’s it, just there.” 

God damn Eren was about to explode! It took him all of his strength to go slowly, to warm Levi up. This was the single hottest and most perfect person in the entire universe, and he was six inches deep inside him with two more to spare. He wanted to absolutely pound the man into another fucking dimension, but no matter how hard Levi demanded it, he wouldn’t hurt him. He needed to be absolutely sure. 

Levi had grown used to the stretch, and he could feel the tip of Eren’s cock hitting his prostate over and over as the boy began to move, building up a steady rhythm. Fuck he felt good, better than Levi had imagined, better than he’d ever had before! 

“F-fucking brat, fuck me harder.” 

“Yes sir.” 

Eren could feel flecks of pleasure growing within him as he slammed himself harder into Levi’s tight little ass. It felt like he’d died and gone to heaven. His professor looked so damn good for him. The curve of his slender waist was exaggerated as he arched his back, pushing himself back to bring Eren deeper inside him until there was nothing left for him to take. 

“You’re so good for me, my love.” Eren praised, nearly choking on his own breath as Levi let out a loud, fearless moan like an honest-to-god porn star. “I’m gonna come inside you so hard.” 

Levi was steadying himself against the wall as Eren’s thrusting became more intense. He was fucking Levi like his life depended on it, and the man couldn’t help but push back against his long, hard cock, swallowing up as much of it as he had to offer. It felt amazing, he’d never had anybody pound him with such hunger before. Eren was fucking ravenous, and Levi was soaking it up like a sponge. 

“Agh!” Levi threw his head back in ecstasy as Eren angled himself just right, sending him reeling is sinful delight as Eren hit the bullseye. “P-please, please do that again...”

Of course, Eren replicated the same move perfectly, and Levi responded with another sweet gasp. 

“Eren, Eren please don’t stop that feels so fucking good!” 

“Oh fuck Levi yes!” He couldn’t get enough of Levi’s lustful begging. He usually wore his pride like a cloak, but now it seemed that it had been torn to tatters. Eren needed more. “Tell me how good it feels.” 

“F-feels so, so good...” Levi was getting close. Neither he nor Eren had even touched his cock, and he was sure that they didn’t need to. He could feel his orgasm gaining on him with rapid speed as Eren fucked him, their skin slapping together, filling the room with lewd noises. 

“Tell me more... tell me what you want...” Eren’s voice was shaky as his body moved rapidly. 

“I’m getting so close Eren, please keep going like this I’m so fucking close...” 

The sparks of pleasure were being drawn together with the cosmic, sexual energy that Levi was exuding. Eren could feel his own release nearing, and it felt so damn good. He needed to hold out until Levi had finished, he had to, but it was so difficult when he was slamming himself into Levi’s tight ass with such ferocity.

“I can’t hold back for much longer,” Eren warned. 

“Me too,” Levi panted, “oh fuck Eren you feel so fucking big!” 

This was it, Levi was at the edge and he was so close to tipping over. The feeling was overwhelming. He’d had sex before, sex that he thought was damn good, but he’d never been fucked like THIS. Maybe it was Eren’s size, he was so big that it made Levi glad that he wasn’t a top. He would never be able to make somebody feel this way, and if he wasn’t enjoying the sensation of Eren filling him up so much then he might’ve felt a little insecure. There was no time for that though, no time for hang ups, for inhibitions, not when his body was so perfectly connected with Eren’s. It was a good job that Eren was strong enough to hold Levi in place so effortlessly because his body was rocking back and forth with vigour. 

The two were so close, the sensation of climax drawing in further, tighter, almost to breaking point. 

“Ngh,” Levi bit back a groan as he felt his end approaching. A white feeling that rushed with his blood through his veins and spread across every inch of his being. “Eren, I’m gonna...” 

“Levi, t-tell me” Eren stammered, every nerve in his cock tingling with pleasure as he neared his climax. He was only seconds away from an explosion, from pure heaven. The only thing that could heighten the perfection of this moment was to hear Levi’s husky voice calling out to him as he came. “Tell me you’re mine.” 

“Eren,” Levi’s head was spinning, his body had gone utterly limp and was being completely held up be Eren’s strength. “I’m y-yours...” 

“Mine,” he hissed into Levi’s ear. 

Levi came with an earsplitting cry as he shot come all over the soft, white pillows. His head was thrown back in ecstasy, leaving his neck exposed for Eren to bite down on as he spilled his load so deep inside his love that he thought he might’ve hurt him. The two were so caught up in the moment that they didn’t hold back, they didn't think about who could possibly hear and they didn’t care either. For the first time in a long time, both Eren and Levi had completely let go of everything else, and were lost in each other. 

Eren’s hips slowed as he rocked out the last of his orgasm, panting like an animal. He moved his hand, releasing Levi from the shackles of his much larger body. When Levi dropped like a leaf Eren’s arms swooped to catch him, scooping him up and planting a delicate kiss on his tender lips. Levi was too stunned to kiss back, and he lay in Eren’s arms in a state of shock. 

He couldn’t believe it, he’d actually been fucked by his student. He’d actually given in to that damn brat. His body was still trembling from the intensity of his climax, his mind racing as his anxieties slowly began to seep back into his mind. That was the best sex that he’d ever had, he certainly wasn’t expecting a performance like that from a virgin. The connection between them was completely unrivalled by anything else that he’d ever felt in his life, but fuck, fuck, fuck! This was bound to cause problems, the kid was his damn student! 

He drew in a shaky breath, looking up at Eren’s sinfully handsome face as he smiled down at him. Damn he was fucking hot. Maybe this would all be fine, maybe sex with Eren was something that he could indulge in every now and again... he just needed to make sure that absolutely nobody found out. Not a soul. 

This was going to be their little secret until the day he died, he swore it to himself.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Also I totally want fanart of this fic, if any of you do commissions then hit me up! <3 
> 
> (Or if you just feel like doing some fan art but don't do commissions i will equally love you)


	14. Under the table

Sunlight trickled through the gaps in the curtains, illuminating the room and sending Eren’s eyelids fluttering open. Tiny speaks of dust could be seen floating in the humid air, and Eren watched them drift across the room as his plump lips twisted into a smile. He was still in a state of disbelief, and he snuggled down into the sheets as his mind drifted back to the memories of the day before. 

He had finally been able to make love to Levi, and it was everything that he’d wanted and more. He was sure that the sex would only get better and better as he gained more experience, really got to know the subtle nuances of Levi’s body. Eren wanted to know the man’s every fantasy, each thought that made him weak at the knees. He couldn’t wait to adhere to Levi’s every whim, no matter what he wanted. 

Maybe Levi had a secret kink, something that made his body ache that he hadn’t told anybody about before. The thought excited Eren, and he could feel his cock twitch between his legs as he thought about all of the filthy things that Levi might make him do in the future. 

It didn’t bother him too much that Levi hadn’t let him spend the night in his room, it did make sense after all. All it would’ve taken was for Erwin to knock on the door and they could’ve been discovered in the throws of passion. With the noise that they were both making he was surprised that they hadn’t been discovered already. Crap, maybe they had. Eren had no clue what had happened after he left Levi’s room, he’d stumbled back to his own room and fallen asleep almost immediately, dreaming of the feeling of Levi’s tight hole. 

It didn’t take long for the memory of their love-making to harden Eren’s throbbing dick again, and for a moment he considered taking care of it. He glanced at the clock, it was seven thirty, and he decided that he didn’t have time. Levi would be downstairs in the breakfast hall waiting for him. It was the day of the conference, and another chance for Eren to have his way with his love. 

Eren was sure to make himself look presentable for the day ahead. He wore his bun a little neater, even put a tinted moisturiser under his eyes to hide any tiredness. The outfit had been planned for days: a pair of tight fitting, navy blue trousers and an expensive light blue shirt with a patterned tie. This wasn’t a look that he normally would’ve chosen for himself, but after seeing Levi with a similar colour scheme in class the other day he couldn’t resist trying it for himself. Levi had looked divine, and as he eyed himself up in the mirror he was confident that he did too. 

He left his room in a hurry, taking the stairs down into hotel foyer. It didn’t take him long to find the dining room where breakfast would be served, and in the centre of the room Levi, Annie and Erwin were sat round a circular table. It looked much to small for the four of them, but that only meant that he could be closer to his love. Luckily there was a seat spare right by Levi’s side, and Eren just knew that his love had saved it for him. 

Levi just sat there, not giving Eren a second glance as he sipped on his morning coffee.

“Hey, Eren!” Erwin sounded way too cheerful for the morning. He stuck an arm up in the air, waving it enthusiastically as if Eren hadn’t already spotted them. “Nice of you to finally join us,” he smiled as Eren took his seat. 

“Sorry I took so long,” Eren blushed a little as he spoke, still a little unsure as to whether Erwin had heard him and Levi last night. He seemed oblivious, which was a good sign, but Eren decided that he would have to be extra vigilant around him from now on. 

“It’s fine,” Erwin chimed, his eyes wandering up and down Eren’s body in a way that would’ve seemed much less innocent if it was coming from anybody else. “You’ve obviously put some effort into your appearance today, you look very smart, a perfect representative for our good Sakura.” 

“Oh, thank you professor.” 

“Doesn’t he look smart, Levi?” Erwin asked, prodding Levi’s slender arm and grinning at him like a fool. The way that he was acting had Eren’s back up a little, maybe he really did know about the two of them. 

The professor turned to face Eren with narrowed eyes. He looked the boy up and down, pupils dilating just slightly as his eyes drifted from his head, to his chest, to his torso. His expression remained unimpressed, but Eren knew how he really felt under that icy exterior. 

“You look very smart.” 

Eren could feel a glow in his chest at the compliment from his love. He could feel the magnetism between them again the moment that Levi laid eyes on him, and it took a great deal of restraint to act normally. His mind told him to shower the professor with praise, tell him how amazing he looked, tell him that he always looked great! His body told him to pull Levi into a tight hug, maybe pepper kisses down his neck and give him a proper greeting. 

In the background he could hear something that sounded like Erwin telling Annie that she looked lovely too, but he mostly blocked that out. Levi’s eyes were still focused on him, although the man wouldn’t meet his gaze just yet. 

As always, Levi looked like the epitome of beauty in its purest form. His hair was neater today as well, his slender frame dressed in a white shirt with too many buttons undone, just the way Eren liked it. A pinstriped, black blazer hugged his shoulders, a navy blue handkerchief poking out of the breast pocket. Eren’s heart soared when he realised that the navy blue garments matched his colour scheme. Even if it was just a little, they were going to look like a proper couple at this conference. 

Eren loved Levi so much that it hurt to be physically apart from him right now. He decided that maybe he could take advantage of the size of the table, and how tightly they were all packed in. 

“So they’re going to be bringing the food to us, right?” Eren turned back to face Annie and Erwin. “There’s not a buffet?”

Eren tucked his hands underneath the table until they were out of sight, hidden beneath the tablecloth. 

“Of course there’s not a buffet,” Annie practically spat venom in the boy’s direction, furrowing her brow and glaring at him with cold eyes. “This is a proper establishment, they’ll bring us a proper breakfast.” 

Levi rolled his eyes, and Eren noticed. Fuck he looked hot when he did that. 

“Oh,” Eren replied blankly, his left hand moving closer to an unsuspecting Levi underneath the table. “I guess not all of us had ‘the bank of daddy’ to pay for ‘proper’ hotels.” 

“Excuse me...”

“Well I don’t care what they bring us,” Erwin butted in, trying to dissipate the tension between the two students. “I’m starving, I’ll eat anything right now.” He ended with an awkward chuckle, and Eren and Annie finally stopped glaring at each other. 

“Tch,” Levi huffed into his coffee cup. He was truly grateful to Erwin for taking the stupid, spoiled bitch to the conference with him; if it wasn’t for him then Levi might’ve had to take her himself. She was such an annoying brat, even more annoying than...

His mind drifted back to memories of the night before, Eren’s large muscular frame looming over him as he lay naked and vulnerable on the bed. The professor could feel the heat on his cheeks and he hoped to god that nobody would notice. 

“So, professor Smith,” Eren began to speak, and at the same time his warm hand came to rest on Levi’s thigh. He heard his love almost choke on a sip of coffee in response and he had to fight back a smile. “What did you get up to last night, did you manage to check out the spa?” 

He spread out his fingers, shifting his hand until in was on Levi’s inner thigh. He could feel the muscles under his palm tensing, and he glanced over at Levi who was sat up straight and rigid, with wider eyes than Eren had ever seen from him. He couldn’t help it, he didn’t care that Erwin and Annie were mere inches away from them. Besides, it’s not like they could see what he was doing under the thick, white tablecloth. 

“I didn’t actually,” Erwin said, “there’s a bar with a TV on the second floor and sports were on, I didn’t get back to my room until around midnight.” 

Thank goodness, that meant that he could’ve have heard him and Levi.

“Wow, midnight.” Eren kept his composure effortlessly as his hand moved further and further up Levi’s inner thigh. He could feel the man begin to tremble, just a little. 

“Yeah, what did you get up to? I’m assuming you went to the spa yourself.” 

“Of course I did, professor Ackerman and I had such a great time in the spa.” He could hear Levi’s breathing getting a little heavier as his thumb began to stroke in rhythmic movements against Levi’s upper thigh. “It was very... relaxing.” 

“Did any of you actually spend any time in your hotel rooms at all?” Annie grinned, “you know they have room service right? I ordered wine, I couldn’t resist.” 

“Oh don’t you worry I had my fair share of ale last night at the bar!” 

Eren could see Levi’s face going red. His dark eyes were fixed on the table, his hands grasping his coffee mug so tightly that Eren thought that it might break. He knew that Levi didn’t know how to react to his touch, and he loved that. The fact that the others were right across from them somehow only spurred Eren on further. He needed more, he needed to feel Levi hardening under his hand. How could he resist? 

“I spent a little time in the room, with professor Ackerman,” Eren smiled innocently. His hand moved around to spread over Levi’s crotch, causing friction between the fabric of the trousers and Levi’s semi-erect cock. Levi inhaled sharply, and the sound of it was melodic to Eren, who could feel himself becoming aroused quickly. 

“Really?” Erwin’s immediate expression was one of confusion, but before long it shifted back to his trademark smile again. “It seems like you two are really getting along well, that’s great!” 

Levi’s length was getting hard at an alarming rate as Eren’s thumb stroked across it slowly, teasingly, almost painfully. His heart was punching at his ribcage, and he had to focus on stopping his body from shaking. what in the hell was this fucking brat doing?

“Well the professor just went over some of his studies with me to make sure I was ready for the conference,” Eren lied effortlessly. His inward emotion, arrogant pride and burning lust, in perfect contrast to his calm exterior. 

“Didn’t you get a perfect score in the test?” Annie snapped, “how much more ready can you actually be?” 

“Oh of course, you did didn’t you Eren.” Erwin praised, “you’re a very talented young man.” 

“Thank you so much, professor.” Eren pretended to be flattered, all the while his hand was cruelly padding against Levi’s crotch. He could feel his shaft twitching, and he knew that Levi would be having trouble containing himself right about now. Eren absolutely relished the thought of Levi’s cock throbbing under the table as Eren edged him to near insanity.

“Well I hope you didn’t work Eren too hard, Ackerman,” Erwin grinned, and Levi almost choked on his own breath. “He must be exhausted.”

“Well I was the one who was asking for his time so persistently,” Eren said, “So I guess you could say that I worked him...”

“I need ... I need to go to the bathroom.” Levi interrupted Eren mid sentence, pushing his chair out with his shaky feet. Eren’s hand slipped off his crotch and as quick as a whippet, Levi bailed on the conversation in the direction of the toilets. 

Eren’s teeth clamped down on his bottom lip hard to stop himself from grinning like a maniac. 

“Actually, I need to go as well. Please excuse me.” 

Levi swung open the cubicle door and shut himself inside. His heart was racing, his palms were clammy and hot. What the fuck was that damn brat playing at? They had sex one time and now Eren thought that he could just touch him like that, in public, right in front of two other people! Levi didn’t know whether Eren was moronic or just evil, but now he had a boner that pressed against the fabric of his trousers a little too visibly for his liking. 

He set his breathing to a slow, steady pace and talked himself down from his strange mixture of panic and arousal. 

It was going to be ok, he just had to wait for this god damn erection to go away. 

Suddenly Levi heard the bathroom door squeak as it opened, and a familiar voice called out his name, a voice that filled him with rage. His cubicle door clattered against the wall as Levi threw it open, glaring at a startled Eren. The fire in his gut came out through his eyes as he huffed at the boy like a bull ready to charge. 

“In here,” he demanded. “Now.” 

Eren complied, darting into the cubicle with his love and locking the door behind him. Before he knew what was happening two small hands had grasped at the collar of his shirt and shoved him back against the wall with a thud. Levi was looking up at Eren with piercing eyes, baring his teeth like an animal. 

“Just what exactly did you think you were doing under the table back there?” Levi hissed.

“I knew that nobody could see us...”

“Nobody could see us? And that makes it ok does it?” 

“Well I...”

“Tell me Eren, because i’m having a real hard time understanding,” Levi’s tone was stern, and Eren could tell that he wasn’t playing around. “What exactly was your end game back there? You thought you’d just make me shoot a load into my pants, huh? In front of everyone. Or did you just think it was a good idea for me to walk around with an obvious boner?” 

Eren was stunned, but his professor was right. He hadn’t even thought his actions through for long enough to have an end goal in mind. He just wanted to touch Levi, he couldn’t restrain himself, he didn’t even think of trying to do so. 

“I’m sorry, next time I’ll make sure we’re somewhere more private.” 

“Next time?” Levi barked. “We fucked once whilst drunk, what makes you think there’s gonna be a next time?” 

Eren frowned, Levi was being a total tease and Eren knew that he didn’t mean what he was saying, but that didn’t make it hurt any less. 

“When we made love you told me that you were mine, and I’m going to hold you to that Levi.” 

“You little...” the professor’s eyes widened, his stomach dropping as he loosened his grip on the boy’s collar. “Eren we’re fucking, not dating.” 

Eren may have been hopeful, but he wasn’t stupid. He already knew that he and Levi weren’t official, he hadn’t expecting to win his heart that easily. They say that if a person is amazing they won’t be easy, and Levi was the greatest person on the planet! He’d won him over physically, but there was still work to be done to gain his love. He just needed to keep going, he was playing the game perfectly and everything was going according to plan. 

“Fuck-ing, not fucked?” Eren smirked down at the seething angel with adoration. “That suggests that it’s ongoing, right?” 

“Tch,” Levi huffed, pulling his arms back and folding them over his chest in a sulk. “Cut it out, brat.” 

“Well since we’re fucking maybe I should finish what I started back at the table.” Eren’s hand moved down to Levi’s crotch, but the professor batted him away. 

“Knock it off, kid!” 

Kid. Levi really knew what to say to push Eren’s buttons, and he was surprised at himself when he felt a little guilty about it.

“Look, last night was... well it was fucking amazing.” Levi admitted. He met Eren’s bright, green eyes and he couldn’t help but soften his expression. “I’m not saying that I don’t want it to happen again, but you’ve got to remember that I could lose my job over this. You have to be more careful!” 

Eren sighed, he knew that Levi was right. 

“I’m... I’m sorry, Levi.” 

The professor wasn’t sure why seeing Eren looking a little upset like this made him feel so damn sad, and he silently scolded himself for being too soft. 

“Hey,” he placed a delicate finger under Eren’s chin, lifting his drooping head until their eyes met. “Chin up, i’m not mad at you.” 

Levi didn’t quite know why all of his anger had suddenly melted away, but Eren seemed to have that effect on him. He was used to it by now, his emotions never seemed to do what he expected around that boy and by this point he had grown to accept that. 

“Really?” 

“Yeah,” Levi gave his student a comforting smile. “I just need you to be on your best behaviour at the conference today, got it?” 

Eren had that look of determination in his eyes that made Levi feel uneasy. “I won’t let you down, professor.” 

Eren was feeling giddy. He knew that he needed to be more careful, and he was perfectly willing to do that for his love. That however, didn’t mean that he was going to be on his ‘best behaviour.’ At least not by Levi’s standards. Eren knew that this conference was important, but he was determined to make it fun too. 

He’d give Levi a day that he would really remember.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Thank you to eren.titanchild for working on some fanart for me! FOLLOW THEM ON INSTAGRAM THEY ARE AMAZING! <3 
> 
> If anybody else is interested in doing some art for me too I will die of happiness :)


	15. Another Glass of Wine

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I've had some fanart gifted to me by eren.titanchild and it's PERFECT! Like DAYUMMMMMMM definitely check it out! And check out their instagram as well <3 
> 
> https://www.instagram.com/p/Bs2_WFYBKc2/

<https://www.thepicbear.com/share/Bs2_WFYBKc2> <https://www.instagram.com/p/Bs2_WFYBKc2/>  <\------ total snacc <3

________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________

 

When the taxi arrived to pick them up, Levi took the front seat again, meaning that Eren had to spend the entire journey sat next to Annie. It wasn’t so bad, at least he got to sit behind Levi, that was something. He leant his head against the cold window as the yellow taxi’s engine began to hum, gazing out of the clear glass at the wing-mirror where he could see Levi’s face staring blankly ahead of him. He smiled, even though Levi looked uninterested right now, Eren knew just how excited he was for this conference. He looked wonderful, he was sure to impress his fair share of people when they arrived.

 

That made Eren feel a little protective, he reminded himself to be sure to stay by Levi’s side at all times.

 

All of a sudden his not-so-subtle swooning was interrupted by a short, sharp vibration on his lap. He looked down at the glowing light on his mobile phone, and could see a notification. Eren raised his phone to his face, who would be texting him? He barely gave his number out to anybody.

 

He opened the text hesitantly.

 

Historia: Hey Eren! I’m really missing u but I hope that ur having a great time in England. I know the conference is today so I hope u enjoy urself haha. <3

 

A slight smile tugged at the corner of his lip as he read the message. Historia really was a lovely girl. Maybe he would have her as his maid or honour at he and Levi’s wedding some day.As he looked down at the screen he could see three small dots pop up below her previous message, indicating that she was typing again.

 

Another vibration tickled Eren’s palm.

 

Historia: When u get back I really need 2 tell you something. I’m sorry 2 worry u and I promise it’s nothing bad x

 

Before he’d even finished reading the sentence another message came through. Jesus, she was really on one today.

 

Historia: Sorry I should’t have said anything! Have a good time! <3 x

 

Eren raised an eyebrow as he read her messages over once more and wondered to himself: ‘what was all that about?’

 

Mostly uninterested, he tapped back a quick response.

 

Eren <3 : Thank you I’ll talk to you when I get back.

 

He thought for a moment before he added: I hope you’re having fun at university and I miss you too.

 

That was what most people would say, right? He didn’t want to seem uncaring, she really was a sweet girl.

 

Eren sent the text and then turned off his phone. He wouldn’t be needing it today, he needed to keep his head in the game. This was his chance to really impress Levi, but not only that, it was his chance to make sure that the other people at the conference knew how amazing Levi was, and to walk around side by side with his love in a place where everyone would know that Eren was Levi’s top student, and Levi was his most prized possession.

 

The taxi eventually pulled up outside Oxford University, and Eren could see Levi’s eyes widen as he gazed up at the beautiful, pale-brick architecture of the building. A sign on the wall confirmed that they were indeed outside the linguistics department. It looked extremely classy, elegant almost. The perfect place to spend the day with his love, and show off their new found connection to the world.

 

Eren had been promoted after all. He was no longer just Levi’s student, the professor himself had said that the two were ‘fucking’. That was definitely something, and if he played his cards right then his next promotion would come soon enough.

 

Levi tucked a strand of black hair behind his ear, running his fingers up the shorter back of his undercut nervously as he shut the taxi door and approached the building. He could feel his teeth chattering as his body shook with anxiety, but as always he managed to calm himself to the point where nobody else would notice his discomfort. Well, nobody except Eren who seemed to notice literally everything.

 

He was finally here, and he was going to have his chance to speak with some of the greatest linguists on the planet. It was more than just that though, not only were the world’s most accomplished linguists gathered here, but he was amongst them. People that he’d looked up to for his entire career would listen to him speak about his studies, his research and ideas. Maybe there would even be a chance for collaboration with other professors in the future! He felt giddy, he couldn’t wait.

 

Levi’s eyes wandered until they found Eren. The brat was holding the car door open for Annie to exit, and suddenly Levi felt a little more hopeful about him being here with him. Eren didn’t like Annie one bit, and yet he was holding the door open for her like a perfect gentleman, even offering her his hand to help her out of the taxi. It seemed odd, and Levi could only assume that the boy was taking his task of being on his ‘best behaviour’ seriously.

 

If he was honest with himself, he knew that Eren would do everything that he could to make him look good at this conference. He just hoped that the kid didn’t push it too far. Jaeger could be a little... intense. However, as he’d found out the night prior, that was not always a bad thing.

 

After a brief introduction from the head of Oxford Linguistics Department the four were lead through large, mahogany doors into a huge room, with high ceilings and dim lighting. Levi was a little taken aback, this wasn’t exactly what he was expecting from a conference. There were tables stacked with pre-poured glasses of wine at one side of the room, the curtains were closed, and the melody of soft, classical music drifted through the air. It looked more like a ball than a conference.

 

“Are you sure we’re in the right place?” Levi muttered under his breath, looking up at Erwin.

 

“The Oxford Linguistics conference is a little different to most,” he replied, having to crouch to keep his voice in a whisper as he towered over Levi. “It’s more of a chance to mingle with other linguists and talk about your similar interests, maybe arrange collaboration research projects from overseas.”

 

“I see,” Levi gulped anxiously. He’d forgotten that Erwin had been to one of these conferences before. He was older and more accomplished, for now. All of a sudden Levi could feel a wave of shame wash over him. He felt like a fool for assuming that this conference would be the same old ‘professors around a big table’ kind of deal, he should’ve been much more prepared than this, this wasn’t like him.

 

It was all that stupid brat’s fault! Always distracting him and taking his mind away from his important work. He would have to reprimand the kid later. Levi was looking at Eren with disgust, all dressed up like a proper gentleman, bulging arms tight against his shirt, knowing that the prim-and-proper, handsome, innocent look he was portraying was masking his real, devilish, sinful, filthy... NO god damn it! Levi cursed himself under is breath. The idea of giving Eren the telling off that he deserved shouldn’t bring his mind to such a sexual place.

 

Right now he had more imminent problems. This wasn’t the usual type of event where he would stand and talk about his research in front of an audience, this was a social event. Levi could feel his palms begin to sweat, he wasn’t the best in social situations, especially around people that he admired.

 

It was going to be a tense night.

 

It was an hour into the event and Levi was beginning to feel the social strain already. He’d talked to a few professors and linguists, but none of them had heard of his research before and overall he was feeling pretty disappointed. He stood slouched against the wine table, a glass of white in his hand and Eren trailing by his side like a needy, lost puppy. He had been so excited to share his work with like-minded people, but now that he was here it felt like nobody else was interested. There were several people that Levi had been dying to meet, but in this setting, he just couldn’t bring himself to talk to them.

 

He looked over at Erwin in the distance, relaxed, calm and happy. Laughing away with two other professors. Annie was stood by his side talking to an incredibly tall boy with black hair, presumably another student. God even that rich, whiney moron was making more connections than he was! Why did everyone else excel so much in social situations? Levi bet that Erwin and Annie were arranging collaborations, discussing research, doing all of the things that he had wanted to do himself! It all came so effortlessly to them, it wasn’t fair.

 

“Professor,” Eren called out from behind him, placing a hand on his shoulder. Levi turned around to face Eren, his face was glowing from the fast-paced alcohol consumption. “I like a glass of wine as much as anyone, but I’m beginning to think that you have a problem.”

 

“Tch,” Levi scowled at his student, “Piss off, brat.”

 

“I just worry about you, that’s all.” Eren told him. “I don’t like it when you use alcohol to boost your confidence, you’re charming and wonderful and your research speaks for itself. You don’t need it.”

 

“Boost my confidence?”

 

“Well...” Eren decided that he needed to choose his next words carefully. He knew that Levi wasn’t always the most approachable person. He was headstrong and proud, but he was also painfully unaware of just how brilliant he actually was. Eren was sure that was the reason why he became so timid around his peers. He cared about his reputation and his work, and he feared judgement. “You can be kind of shy sometimes, that’s why you’re drinking, right?”

 

“You little...” Levi spat, shooting daggers at his student. “I’m not shy, I’m just bored!”

 

Eren was about to respond when they were interrupted by the sound of commotion in the doorway, practically every person in the room turned to face the noise. A moment later a woman stumbled into the room chanting “sorry I’m late!” over and over in a shrill tone. It was almost painful to watch, the woman looked as if she’d never worn a pair of high heels in her life. She was quite tall, her scruffy, brunette hair tied up in a messy ponytail. She wore thick lensed glasses that rested on her prominent nose, and a knee length, emerald dress. Eren glanced over at Levi, surprised to find that he was staring right at her.

 

Levi’s eyes were wide, his mouth agape as he continued to gaze at the woman in awe. Eren could feel the demonic presence of jealousy boiling up in his chest. Was Levi attracted to women now? No, she didn’t look like his type at all, but then why was he staring at her like a groom who’d just seen his bride walking down the aisle for the first time?

 

“Professor...” Levi didn’t respond. “Levi!”

 

“Huh?” Levi turned back to Eren, who was glaring at him, arms folded across his chest, lips pouting.

 

“I couldn’t help but notice that you were staring at that woman,” he tried so hard to stay monotone, to disguise the envy in his voice, but he failed. “Do you like her or something?”

 

“What?” Levi raised an eyebrow. “For starters it’s none of your business even if I did like her, but no, that’s professor Hange Zoe. She’s a giant in the field of linguistics, I’ve based so many of my studies off of her work that I lost count.”

 

“Oh,” Eren could feel muscles relax that he didn’t even know he’d tensed as a wave of relief washed over him. “She’s Hange Zoe? She’s not at all what I would’ve expected.”

 

“Yeah,” Levi said curiously. “You know of her work?”

 

“Well I know everything about your work, and you’ve referenced Hange Zoe quite a few times in your papers, so yeah I’ve heard of her.”

 

“I see.” Levi was a little starstruck, he turned back to look at Hange, who was currently talking to some old man with no hair and a thick moustache. He couldn’t believe that she was actually here. Hange Zoe was notorious for never attending these kind of events, she typically preferred to work on her own, and wasn’t often interested in the work of others. It was truly a surprise to see her here, and Levi noted that it was probably due to Oxford being one of her main bases.

 

“You should go and talk to her,” Eren suggested, giving Levi a soft tap on the back, trying to urge him in the woman’s direction. “I bet she’d find your research fascinating, especially the stuff about...”

 

“Are you crazy?’ Levi hissed, interrupting Eren mid flow. “I can’t just... just TALK to her!”

 

“Huh? Sure you can.”

 

Levi could feel his heart pounding, and he looked up at Eren with pleading eyes. “No way! She doesn’t want to hear about the crap I’ve done! She’s talking to somebody else, I’m not gonna just... just interrupt her. She’s got better things to do than talk to me.”

 

Eren let out a sharp exhale, placing a hand on his hip in a dramatic fashion. “Why wouldn’t she want to hear about your work? You’re the most interesting and intelligent person in the world. Anybody should think themselves lucky just to get a glance in their direction from you.”

 

“Oh please,” the professor huffed, taking another sip from his glass of wine. “You would say that, you’re practically obsessed with me.”

 

“In love,” Eren corrected him, earning himself a sinfully sexy eye roll from the shorter man. “Besides why do you think the reason is that I feel that way about you? It’s because you’re so smart, and interesting, and perfect and...”

 

“Alright, alright!” Levi butted in, waving his hand at Eren, beckoning him to stop. “Enough with the compliments, it’s shameful.”

 

Eren began to blush, a sweet smile gracing his lips.

 

“Plus stop saying that you’re in love with me, it’s weird.”

 

“Hmm,” Eren’s lips were pursed, his head tilted to the side so soft strands of dark hair fell from his hair bun over his bright eyes. He didn’t speak, he just stood there, staring. Levi began to feel a little nervous.

 

“What are you doing?”

 

Again, Eren didn’t speak. His pupils dilated slightly as he gazed at his love. The boy looked to be deep in thought, and that made Levi’s head spin.

 

“Eren, seriously...”

 

Without warning, Eren turned tail and began to walk away. Levi choked on his words. Had he offended him? That would be strange, that wasn’t like Eren at all. Usually Levi could say anything that he wanted to Eren and the kid just wouldn’t care. Had he hit his limit? Oh shit, had he actually pissed Eren off? Levi watched as Eren walked across the room, his back was straight, his head held high and he seemed to be approaching ... no. No! He wouldn’t!

 

The boy was striding straight towards Hange Zoe, and Levi felt like he was going to be sick. Hadn’t he already told that stupid brat that he didn’t want to talk to her? She was accomplished and clever and probably much too busy for him.

 

Fuck. He could feel his fingers trembling as nerves ravaged his entire body. What was Eren going to do? Oh god, what was he going to SAY? He could see Eren tap the woman on her shoulder, and he watched as she turned to face him enthusiastically with a huge smile on her face. The two began to chat, and Levi didn’t have the faintest clue what his doting student was going to say to one of the greatest linguists on the planet.

 

This could be dangerously embarrassing. He should go up and stop him, or at least steer the conversation in a direction that he was comfortable with. He really should... he should...

 

Levi could feel his stomach drop, and it was as if a grey cloud had appeared right above his head, pouring down invisible rain that only dampened his spirit. He wanted to go over, he really did, but he just couldn’t. It was like his legs were cemented to the ground, and all that he could do was watch in horror as his obsessive admirer said ‘who knows what’ about him to his most respected idol.

 

His delicate hand reached for another glass of wine.


	16. The Turning Point

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> NSFW and also fasten your seat belts things are about to get crazy!
> 
> Also yes i updated twice in one day again, fight me!

“So, it was professor Ackerman that introduced you to my work?” 

Hange Zoe was a very enthusiastic woman, that became more and more apparent the longer that Eren spoke to her. She was loud, quirky, everything that you wouldn’t expect from such a prominent linguist in the field. One word that you could never use to describe Hange was boring, perhaps this was why Levi liked her so much. 

“In a way, yes!” Eren smiled at her appreciatively, flashing his white teeth. He looked so handsome that even Hange could feel a prickle of a blush in her cheeks. “Professor Ackerman taught me everything I know, I swear the man’s a genius!” 

“Oh, really?” It seemed that her interest was piqued, and that made Eren incredibly happy. He had to keep pressing on, for his love. 

“Of course! I became enthralled by Levi’s research papers, that’s why I came to Sakura in the first place. The man has real talent.” 

Hange had curious eyes, and she studied Eren’s expression with a critical mind. There was no doubt about it, Eren meant what he said. This ‘Levi’ character must really be someone special. 

“He must be amazing if he taught you everything that you know,” she grinned wildly, almost manically. “You’re obviously a very skilled linguist, considering what we’ve talked about so far, I’m sure that you’re the most talented student that I’ve spoken to.” 

Eren faked flattery, but his cheeks didn’t flush red. “Thank you professor, but really, it’s all Levi’s doing.” 

Hange’s smile didn’t fade. It was refreshing to see a student with such admiration for his professor, feelings like that didn’t come so easily. This ‘professor Ackerman’ must have been incredible. Eren Jaeger was bright and skilled, a boy like this wouldn’t respect his teacher so much if he wasn’t special. 

“Well I’m sure that your professor would be very proud of you knowing that you’re here, it’s a great opportunity for a student like you, Eren. You’ve come far.” 

“Well actually,” Eren grinned, glancing over to Levi who was gulping yet another glass of wine. Damn it, he hoped that he’d talked his professor up enough that Hange would want to speak with him soon, or he might be drunk when he met her. “I’m here with my professor now, he’s mentioned you before many times as you both do similar work, and I thought that I would come and say hello. After all, anybody that Levi admires must be truly great.” 

The professor wasn’t sure whether Eren had maybe had a little too much from the wine table. They way that he went on about professor Ackerman was unlike anything that she’d ever heard before. Not many students harboured this level of admiration, in fact, she’d never seen anybody speak about their superior in this way before. She looked into the boy’s sparkling eyes, and couldn’t help but wonder why he felt the way that he did. 

“He’s here?” Hange asked, she was feeling inquisitive, and she wanted to know more about this ‘Levi’. “Could I meet him by any chance?” 

“Oh,” Eren played coy, looking to the ceiling as if he was thinking about it. “Well I suppose he wouldn’t mind, since he knows about your work, I bet he’d be happy to speak with you.” 

Bingo. He’d nailed it, Levi was bound to be happy about this development. If Levi was too shy to speak to Hange on his own, then Eren would bring Hange straight to him. This was the first victory of many, and Eren knew that throughout his life he would be Levi’s knight in shining armour whenever he felt uncomfortable, or scared. That was the responsibility that came with being someone’s lover, their partner, their soulmate. 

This would be the first in a string of many things that he would do to make Levi’s life perfect. 

 

 

Levi was was trying his best not to seem as if he’d noticed Eren walking over to him with none other than Hange Zoe. He was doing his controlled breathing, desperately trying to seem calm and collected as the two approached. 

“Hello!” Hange’s cheerful voice sang out to him, and he turned to meet her big, brown eyes. “I’m Hange Zoe!” 

Levi was astonished, he could hear his ears ringing as blood rushed through his veins at double the speed. “I’m Levi Ackerman, nice to meet you.” 

The two talked for a couple of hours, and Eren let them. He spent his time bragging to other professors around the building about how brilliant Levi was, how outstanding his work was, and one by one, like dominoes, they all fell into Levi and Hange’s conversation naturally. When Eren was satisfied he simply stood back and watched as Levi’s face lit up like the sun. 

Levi was the most beautiful when he was truly happy, and Eren couldn’t stop himself from sighing longingly as he watched Levi being showered with praise by the others. Everyone that spoke to Eren was impressed by his extensive knowledge, especially considering his young age. He had told every one of them that it was all due to Levi, and all of a sudden they were completely taken by the flustered professor. 

Levi glanced over to meet Eren’s distant gaze, and without hesitation he cracked the purest, most glorious smile that Eren had ever witnessed in his life. The student melted into the wall behind him, his brain erupting with every colour of the rainbow. Just when he thought that he couldn’t possibly love Levi any more than he already did, he went and smiled at him like THAT! In that moment Eren swore that he would do anything for man that he loved, and he couldn’t wait to spend the rest of his life making Levi smile like that. 

He looked so tiny and delicate in the middle of all of those people, face flushed and a sweet grin on his lips as he turned away from Eren and back to the others. Eren loved that Levi was so small, it made him want to pick him up, carry him carefully to somewhere more secluded and just... absolutely ravage him. Fuck, no, not now Eren. 

Love making could wait. Levi was having his moment. 

 

 

It was dark outside when the event was finally beginning to quieten down. Eren was standing in an empty corridor, away from the crowd of people, most of whom were now a little drunk. It was dark and completely quiet, the perfect place for Eren to think. He was proud of Levi. Proud of him for speaking to Hange, proud of him for having such great research papers to talk about, proud of him for being social in general. That being said, he was feeling intensely empty without Levi in his presence. It was as if a part of him was missing, a part that he couldn’t live without. 

Now that Eren had experienced Levi’s affection, he knew that he could not possibly live without it. He would do anything, anything at all to keep that man. Sometimes he thought that he must be a little crazy to love somebody as much as he did, but he always shook those ideas out of his head. He wasn’t crazy, this was just what love was. Love like this could spur a man to do anything, he would kill for his love, he would die for his love. 

That would never change. 

“Eren,” that familiar voice called out to him, and Eren’s eyes lit up like beacons. 

“Levi!” He cried, running up to his professor excitedly as he paced toward him. He threw both arms around Levi, and much to his surprise, Levi didn’t bat him away. Instead he returned the hug, wrapping both of his tiny arms around Eren’s muscular torso. 

The boy could barely believe it, and he squeezed Levi so hard that he worried for a moment that he might’ve broken him. 

“Ok, that’s enough.” Levi told him sternly. Eren pulled back, grasping both of Levi’s arms instead. He couldn’t resist being in physical contact with him in some way, even though it had only been a few hours since Eren had last touched him, he’d missed him so much. 

“How did it go professor?” Eren beamed, looking down into dark, steely eyes that made him weak at the knees. “Tell me everything!” 

“Well,” Eren squealed when Levi’s words came out from between smiling lips. “Hange Zoe wants to collaborate with me on a project that she was thinking of doing in the summer.” 

He looked so damn happy, it was heartwarming.

“That’s great,” Eren grinned, “she’s a lucky woman! I’m sure she’ll thank me for introducing her to you.” 

“Eren I...” Levi looked down at his feet, his teeth scraping against his bottom lip. Both hands were joined behind his back as he spoke to his student in a soft, melodic voice. Eren had never seen him look so cute before, he’d never seen Levi act shy around him. 

Did this mean... that Levi finally admired him?

“I know that the only reason any of those professors were interested in my work was because of you.”

“That’s not true Levi! They were...”

“I know, I know.” Levi interrupted Eren, but he still seemed so kind, so adoring toward his student. “My work is good, but I never would've had the strength or the courage to go up to Hange Zoe, or anyone else for that matter, and just speak to them like that. That was all you Eren, so...” He looked up into Eren’s eyes. “Thank you.” 

“Oh Levi,” Eren’s heart had never soared to such heights before, and now he was sure that it would never come back down. He couldn’t help himself, he pushed Levi back against the wall, and mashed their lips together in the heat of passion. 

Levi reciprocated the kiss immediately, moving his arms round to grasp at Eren’s hips. “Wait,” he breathed between hungry kisses, “we should stop, we’re in public.” 

Eren took one of Levi’s slender arms and pinned it up beside his head, the skin on his wrist pushing into the coldness of the wall. He tugged the arm up higher, pulling Levi up onto his tiptoes so he could push his tongue further into the man’s wet mouth. 

“There’s nobody here, professor,” Eren whispered into his ear sinfully. He brought his free hand down to cup the bulge in Levi’s pants, and with that Levi was under his spell. 

“W-we... we can’t do this h-here... Eren...” 

The student worked his hand skilfully up and down the hardening length in Levi’s trousers, and Levi’s face began to glow a bright, crimson red. He hushed his professor, purring into his ear “I can’t resist you, Levi. I’ve been watching you from across the room all day, and it’s been so terribly painful spending that much time apart from your body.” 

“I...I... Please Eren, not here.” 

Levi could feel himself becoming painfully hard. He was a little tipsy from the wine, and his spirits were already high from the compliments he had received earlier. Despite his words, he found himself thrusting up pathetically into Eren’s big, warm hand. Craving the pleasure that it could bring to him in this moment. 

“Do you really want me to stop?” Eren teased, taking his thumb away to pop the button on Levi’s trousers open with a metallic click. 

“Mmmm...” 

“Come on Levi,” he smirked down at him, almost fainting at the sight of the lustful, begging expression on Levi’s cute face. He wanted it, Eren could tell, but he wanted him to say it. “Nobody’s gonna come down this little corridor, are they?” 

“They... they might...” 

“They won’t,” Eren’s hand delved down into Levi’s trousers, finding the hot skin of his love’s hard cock and wrapping his hand around it. Levi practically whined in response, bucking his hips upwards once again. “It’s dark here, quiet, and it doesn’t lead anywhere that isn’t locked.” He stroked his thumb across Levi’s tip teasingly, feeling the beginnings of pre-come leaking out already. 

Damn Levi was horny for him. This was almost going to be too easy. 

“We’re all alone,” Eren hissed, tugging on Levi’s soft earlobe with his sharp teeth, pushing his wet tongue down into the ear and drawing a wanton moan from his lover’s sweet lips. “Nobody will disturb us, I’ll be quick, and I can feel how hard you are for me, Levi.” 

“Fuck, Eren. This is just...” 

“So I’ll ask you again Professor. Do you really want me to stop?”

Levi couldn’t take it any more, he jumped up to catch Eren’s lips in a hot, heavy kiss. Their tongues lashed against one another ravenously, and Levi let his free hand grasp Eren’s toned ass, hard and rough. By the time their mouths parted, a string of thick saliva kept them connected like a thread. 

“I guess I’ll take that as a no,” Eren smiled, his hand working up and down Levi’s length quickly. He didn’t have much time to bring his love to climax, and with the delicious face that Levi was making, he was sure that he couldn’t go slowly even if he wanted to. 

“I w-won’t last long...” Levi panted, his fingernails digging into Eren’s pert cheek through his clothing. 

“I don’t want you to,” Eren smirked, “I want to see the face that you make when you come into my hand.” 

Levi wasn’t lying, he could feel his orgasm building already, and he couldn’t take his eyes off Eren’s perfect, sensual face. He really was a fucking demon, constantly tempting him, teasing him, making him WANT to do things so dangerous that he could lose his entire career. Somehow it was worth it to him, his urges toward Eren were too strong, and in the moment there was nothing in this world that could overpower them. 

Eren’s pure, sexual magnetism was overwhelming. 

Levi was letting out moans and groans that dripped with ecstasy as Eren stroked him up to the point of climax. 

“I’m gonna come, fuck!” 

“That’s it Levi, you’re so good for me.” 

Levi saw stars as he came violently over Eren’s hand, taking his hand off Eren’s ass to cover his mouth as he wailed into his palm in pleasure. Eren grunted as Levi’s hot come painted his fingers, blissfully content as Levi began to relax into his body, breathing heavily against him as he calmed down. He was so precious, and Eren held him like he needed his protection.

“Levi,” Eren could feel his heart swell as his beautiful, delicate love rested against his body, wrapped up in his touch like he belonged to him. “I love you.” 

He let go of Levi’s pinned arm, and lifted Levi’s chin so he could press his lips against his love’s in a tender, loving kiss. He held Levi’s angelic face in his hands, staring into his soft, silver eyes. “I love you Levi, so much.”

 

“Holy shit.”

 

An unfamiliar voice rang out from the distance, and both Levi and Eren turned rapidly to find the source. 

At the end of the corridor Annie stood staring at them. Her mouth hung open, her blue eyes wide with shock. 

It wasn’t an innocent sight that she’s just witnessed, and now she was just staring at Eren’s hand down her professor’s trousers, Levi’s red face still warm and from his recent release. She’d heard her classmate tell his professor that he loved him, and she’d seen her professor’s usually stern face twisted into one of ecstasy. 

“Annie,” Levi breathed, barely able to speak. 

“I can explain.” Eren cried. 

It was too late. Annie was already bolting in the opposite direction.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Also if you didn't check out eren.titanchild's fanart from my last chapter you SHOULD! 
> 
> If there are any other artists willing to do fanart I will love you forever :)


	17. Threats

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> This might be another two chapters in a day situation because I feel evil leaving cliffhangers like this and I have a free day >:)

“Annie!” Eren called as he dashed through crowds of noisy people. The conference was beginning to die down, and most of those who still remained were drunk. It wasn’t difficult to find Annie in the commotion, and FUCK she was heading straight over to Erwin. 

Eren picked up his pace, he needed to stop her before she could tell the professor, otherwise it would all be over for him. 

His heart was racing at twice the speed, every fearful thought in his brain raging at the same time. He was an idiot! Levi had warned him that they were in public, told him to stop, but he got too carried away! He was lost in the moment, and now Levi was going to be furious! If he lost his job then he might never speak to Eren again. He could move away, even leave the country! 

Eren couldn’t let that happen, he would do anything.

He was zapped back to the real world when all of a sudden an elderly looking man stumbled into him, spilling a good portion of his wine onto the floor and stopping Eren in his tracks. His eyes were still tracking Annie, and his stomach churned when he saw Erwin smiling and beckoning her over. 

“Oh, exshuuuuuse me!” The old man slurred, his round face red and jolly. He looked too happy, and it pissed Eren off. Did he not know that he was getting in Eren’s way? 

He practically shoved the old man to the side, barreling past him at high speed. Annie was now by Erwin’s side, and Eren was ready to pounce at her like damn panther.

“Hey Annie,” he could hear Erwin say to her. “Huh? What’s up? You look like you’ve just seen a ghost.” 

Oh shit! This wasn’t good, but by this point Eren had managed to close the gap between him and his prey. He reached out, grasping Annie’s wrist harshly. The girl gasped, turning to face Eren with genuine fear in her crystal blue eyes. 

“Annie,” he practically barked at her. “I need to talk to you, please come with me.” 

“Get off me!” She snapped, tugging her arm out of Eren’s grasp angrily. Erwin shot the two a worried look. 

“Is everything ok here you two?” He asked them, towering behind Annie protectively as if he was her bodyguard. 

“It’s fine professor,” Eren tried his best to fake a smile, “I just need to speak to Annie, it’s important.” 

Annie looked from Erwin to Eren, and the latter was feeling the strain of his terror as he wished so desperately that he could peer into Annie’s mind. He had no idea how she was going to react, and it was driving him crazy. 

“Annie, it’s really, really important.”

Annie had never seen anybody look the way that Eren did right now. His eyes were wider than she thought was humanly possible, and it looked as if he was tearing up. She prided herself on being emotionally cold, but even she couldn’t ignore the almost pitiful display of emotion in front of her. Despite what she had just seen, she felt like she should at least give him a chance to explain himself. 

“Ok, but make it quick.” 

Eren led Annie out of the front door, heart pounding like a drum. He wasn’t going to make the same mistake twice; he needed to take her somewhere that nobody else would hear or see them. The cold air hit him like a slap to the face, stinging his skin as gravel crunched underneath his shiny, leather shoes. It was such a beautiful, clear night. The dark sky was studded with twinkling stars, and the crescent moon shone an angelic, silver glow down onto the two students as they walked in silence. Eren wished that Levi was out here to see the sky, he would’ve looked wonderful illuminated by the moonlight. 

“Ok,” Annie’s voice was somewhat quieter than before, the anger seemed to have faded from her tone, she sounded more nervous now. “This is fine, nobody will hear us speak here.” The girl had stopped them just a little further away from the building, round the corner from the entrance. There was a quaint looking wooden bench sitting isolated against the wall, and Annie and Eren sat there, side by side. 

There was a moment of tense silence before anybody spoke.

“Go on,” Annie sighed. “Say what you have to say.” 

Eren took a moment to gather his thoughts. It didn’t matter what he had to do to make the girl keep her mouth shut. He would do what needed to be done, no matter the consequences. Of course, the easiest and most preferable approach would be to gain her sympathy. Eren decided that was the first hand that he would play. 

“Annie,” Eren lowered his head a little, gazing up at Annie through his thick lashes. His emerald eyes sparkled in the moonlight, and he pursed his lips into his most convincing, sad pout. “Have you even been in love?” 

Her hard expression didn’t change, instead she rolled her eyes at him. That pissed Eren off. How dare that stuck up bitch do that to him? When Levi did it, it was beautiful, sexy, but when Annie did it he could feel rage bubbling in his gut, and he had to resist the urge to punch her in her god damn face. 

“You’re kidding right?” She huffed, “gimme a break.” 

“Why would I be kidding? Just because you’re a cold, emotionless void, doesn’t mean that I am.” 

Annie refused to hold back her next outburst, she wanted to take pity on Eren, she really did, but he was such a horrible liar. If he’d just told her the truth, then maybe she would’ve gone easy on him. “You’re telling me that a hot, young guy like you is ‘in love’ with professor Ackerman?” 

The sarcastic tone in her voice made Eren’s blood boil. Was she insulting his love? That fucker! She would pay dearly for that. 

“Yes,” he told her “that’s exactly what I’m telling you. There’s nothing about him that I don’t love.”

Annie sighed, brushing a loose strand of blonde hair behind her ear. Professor Ackerman was a smart guy, surely he didn’t believe what Eren was telling him, right? 

She couldn’t help but let the image of the two of them together flood back into her mind. The way that he looked back there, gazing into Eren’s eyes as if he were the most precious thing on this earth. Oh goodness, he really did believe Eren, didn’t he? That just made this whole situation so cruel.

He wasn’t going to get away with it any more, both Eren and Levi would have to face the consequences of their actions.

“It’s so painfully obvious what you’re doing Eren, I feel stupid for not realising this before!” 

“Oh?” Eren snapped, genuinely curious about what she had to say. “What exactly do you think I’m doing?” 

She turned to the side, just enough so that her dead, blue eyes met Eren’s fiery orbs. “You’re sleeping with professor Ackerman to get better grades, aren’t you?” 

“W-what?”

“You really are disgusting, Eren.” She spat out her words as if they were a foul taste in her mouth. “You’re telling that man that you love him, leading him on, and he’s giving you top grades because of it! That’s just sick, you’re both sick! You’ll drop him as soon as you’ve graduated, and honestly I expected much better from a Sakura professor. I thought that he would have much better morals than this” 

Eren was bewildered, how could she get this so wrong? “Annie, no, it’s not like that at all!” 

“I may get a lot of help from my father, but I worked damn hard for my grades and so does everyone else in our class. I knew that something didn’t sound right when I heard the rumour that you got a perfect score in that test! You’ve got that poor, stupid man wrapped around your little finger, haven’t you? Well I’m going to make sure that everyone in the department hears about this, and then...” 

Eren slammed his hand down into the hard wood of the bench with such ferocity that Annie physically jumped backwards. All of a sudden she felt uneasy, Eren was glaring at her like a serial killer. Nobody had ever looked at her with such intensity before, and she didn’t know whether she should stand her ground, or run away screaming. 

“Don’t you dare insult Levi like that again,” he growled. “Ever.” 

Annie could feel her heart begin to pound. Something about this felt very wrong, it was as if her body was telling her that she was in danger. “I’m gonna... I’m gonna go...” 

She tried to stand up, but Eren grasped her hand in his iron grip and dragged her back down. His fingernails were digging into her skin, hard enough to bruise. By now the terror was truly beginning to settle in. “Eren please, what are you doing?” Her voice was pleading to him, but she knew that she couldn’t stop him in this moment. It was as if some demon had taken over Eren’s body, and for the first time in her life, she was truly scared.

“Let me tell you something, Annie.” 

Eren’s voice was low, threatening, and his grasp on Annie’s hand was crushing, painful. 

“You’re wrong about me. I’m in love with Levi, I have been since the first moment I saw him, when I was just a kid. He was my teacher.”

“A... a kid? Wait so you like... followed him to Sakura?” 

“Since that day all that I’ve ever done, I’ve done to make myself appeal to him. I know every little detail about him, what he likes, what he hates, what makes him scared, or happy. I know it all, and I intend to be with Levi for the rest of my life, is that clear?” 

Annie gulped down her fear, tugging at her arm to no avail. “You’re... you’re crazy! Let me go!” 

“Crazy?” A devilish smirk slowly spread across his face, and it sent shivers down the girl’s spine. “No, I’m just in love. He’s the most perfect man in the world, so I had to make myself the perfect partner. It’s something you’ll never understand, and that’s why you’ll never have a love like ours. We’re meant to be together, destined for each other.” 

He tightened his grasp on Annie’s hand, pulling her in closer, grasping the back of her head so she couldn’t look away. Her hair was pulled tight against her head by Eren’s unforgiving hand, and she could feel her body begin to shake. Annie could feel bitter tears prickling the corners of her eyes as the gazed into the eyes of a madman. 

“The only crazy person here is you if you get in our way. I promise you, Annie, I’ll make you regret it.”

With that final warning, he released her from his grasp, and Annie scrambled away as quickly as her legs would carry her. Her dainty heels stuck into the deep gravel a few times before she was out of sight, and Eren could hear distant sobs coming from her direction. 

He sighed, taking a deep breath and melting down into the bench. That was difficult, but it had to be done. If Annie was smart, she wouldn’t tell anyone about this. Or so he hoped. 

He looked up at the shining, crescent moon and he hoped and prayed that his threats were enough to keep Annie from spilling his secret. 

“Excuse me miss,” Eren could hear a soft voice from around the corner, and he shot up to his feet. Shit, who was there? He felt as if he recognised the voice, but who was it? “What’s wrong, why are you crying?” 

“Get away from me!” Eren could hear Annie screech back at him. Then he heard the clacking of Annie’s heels get quieter, until the noise faded to nothing. 

Thank god, he thought to himself. She seemed pretty shaken up, and although that wasn’t the way that Eren had wanted to do things, it had to be done. He had told himself that he would do anything for Levi, and he meant it. Scaring Annie like that was only the tip of the iceberg, and he knew that he was capable of much, much more. 

All of a sudden, he heard footsteps approaching him, and that same soft voice called out to him from round the corner. “Hello, is anybody round there?” 

Shit. Eren wasn’t sure what to do, surely whoever this was would want to ask him questions about Annie, and he hadn’t thought up a sufficient lie yet to cover himself. Fuck, it would be worse, what if this person had heard any of their conversation? Surely that wasn’t possible, he was sure to be as quiet as he could. He couldn’t just run away, there wasn’t time and if he was seen running that would only make him look more suspicious. No, he would just have to face this person, whoever they were. He had always been good under pressure, and he trusted his own ability to fake a believable story. 

Plus he and Levi were meant to be together, that meant that he had fate on his side, right?

Eren stood like a deer in headlights as the mysterious person turned around the corner, and Eren took in the sight of... them? This person seemed to be ambiguously gendered in appearance, they had shoulder length, blonde hair and big, blue eyes. In fact, they looked a little like Historia. The closer they got, the more they looked alike, until finally it hit Eren like a tonne of bricks...

“Armin,” 

Armin looked up to see those familiar, green eyes from his childhood. 

“Eren?”


	18. Heroin

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> A little NSFW... leading to more NSFW. You have been warned. 
> 
> Second update of the day I did it woo.

It had been years since Eren had seen Armin, and apart from being a little taller now, he hadn’t changed much. He still had the same hair-style, the same doll like face. Eren knew that Armin was studying at Oxford, but he’d been so wrapped up in thinking about Levi that he hadn’t even considered meeting Armin. They hadn’t talked in years anyway. 

“So, what are you doing here?” Armin asked. He and Eren sat back on the bench to chat, Armin now taking up the space that Annie had previously occupied. 

Eren knew that it was only a matter of time before Armin asked about the pretty crying girl that had just ran past him. His brain was working in overdrive, searching for an excuse as Armin looked at him with concern etched onto his face. 

“I’m here for the linguistics conference,” Eren told him. “Actually, I’m here with professor Ackerman.” 

Armin tilted his head to the side inquisitively. “Professor Ackerman? I don’t think I’ve heard of him.” 

Eren could feel himself blushing just from saying Levi’s surname. “Armin, don’t you remember? Mr Ackerman, he was our teacher at school?” 

All of a sudden the lightbulb above Armin’s head lit up, and he remembered instantly. “Oh! You mean the really short guy?” 

Eren gave Armin a lighthearted chuckle, he knew that Armin meant no offence towards his love. “C’mon Armin, can you really call anybody short?” 

Armin laughed along with him. “I guess not.” 

For a long moment, an awkward silence hung in the air. Eren didn’t want to be here right now. As much as he liked Armin, his love was inside waiting for him, possibly panicking. It was painful, he couldn’t bear the thought of Levi on his own like that, he needed to get to him. 

“Armin,” Eren spoke up, gaining the boy’s attention. “It’s a little cold, do you want to go inside with me? You could see professor Ackerman again, and there’s wine inside.” 

“Oh,” Armin tried not to look like he was considering it too hard. “Well I was walking back to my dorm to study, but I guess I have a little time spare. It’d be lovely to catch up with you some more.” 

 

Armin and Eren walked through the mahogany doors and back into the room. Annie was nowhere to be seen, but Eren immediately spotted Levi and Erwin talking in the corner of the room. Without a moment of hesitation, Eren began to walk towards them, Armin following close behind. 

“Eren,” Erwin said, he sounded worried, and Eren knew that wasn’t a good sign. “You’re not with Annie, is she ok?” 

Armin looked up at Eren, “Is that the girl who ran off crying before?” 

Erwin glared at Eren, and it was the first time that Eren had seen him look angry. He was hardly intimidating, but when Eren looked over to Levi he could see that his love was beginning to panic. He was doing that controlled breathing again, and Eren knew that he only did that when he was becoming overwhelmed. 

He had to diffuse the situation, and quick. 

“Oh,” Eren faked a sad tone in his voice. “Yeah, I’ll explain what happened, but please don’t let her know that I told you. She might be embarrassed.” 

Ok, now all he had to do was make up a story. He was great at that, at least... usually he was. For some reason however, his mind had gone blank. 

Shit, come on Eren, think! 

Erwin, Armin and Levi were all staring at him, eagerly waiting for an explanation, and he could see the stress in Levi’s expression. 

“The thing is...”

“What, did you dump her or something?” Armin blurted out. His face immediately flushed red after he spoke, and he stumbled over his next words in dismay. “Sorry! That was... I mean I shouldn’t have...”

“No,” Eren said, fighting back a sly grin. “You’re right.” 

Unknowingly, unwittingly, Armin had just given him the perfect out. This was good, he could work with this. 

“Annie had told me that she liked me a while back, I think that may have been why she was so keen to come on this trip. She knew that I would get the high score and win a place here.” 

“Ahh,” Erwin furrowed his brow, “that makes sense, but I really had no idea that you two were even dating, you didn't seem very close. Are you sure that what you’re telling me is the truth? Running away crying doesn’t sound like something that Annie would do at all.” 

“I... Well with the greatest respect, professor, you really don’t know her like I do... ”

“Of course it's the truth, sir.” Armin interrupted, his sweet voice hiding an undertone of anger at Erwin’s rude, intrusive question. “I happened to be outside at the time, and I heard the whole thing.” 

Eren looked over at his old friend in amazement. If he’d really heard them, then he would know that this whole story was a complete and utter fabrication. Why was he lying for him like this? Was it because they were old friends? Was it because he really trusted Eren, enough that he’d lie for him? Whatever the reason, Eren wasn’t complaining, and neither was Levi. 

“Well,” Eren rubbed the back of his neck awkwardly. “We weren’t really dating, I told her that we would get to know each other and see how it went, but the truth is, I like somebody else.” 

Eren shot Levi a knowing glance. He looked utterly shocked. He wasn’t aware that Eren had the ability to just take a lie like that, and to sound so convincing when he told it. It was honestly impressive, and he could feel some of his immediate anxiety fading away. 

“She was pretty upset when I told her. When I took her outside I was only trying to calm her down, but I think I may have made things worse.” 

“Oh, Eren,” Armin comforted his friend, “It’ll be ok, she’ll be fine in time and so will you. He placed a hand on Eren’s arm and looked up into his thankful eyes. He knew that he’d just lied, and although he felt a mild level of guilt, he knew he’d done the right thing. Eren wouldn’t be lying about something like this, and the fact that his professor had questioned him at all was just rude, and uncalled for. Armin knew Eren, he was a trustworthy person, and a trait like that didn't change with age.

 

The four of them spent the next half an hour or so just chatting, and drinking. They reminisced about Levi’s days as a high school teacher, and spoke about Armin’s work at Oxford, all the while Eren and Levi were glancing over at each other nervously, wondering if it was really possible to keep up this lie for long. 

It was late by the time that Erwin, Levi and Eren arrived back at the hotel. Annie had called Erwin and told him that she was taking a taxi back to the hotel alone, and Erwin felt a great deal of pity for the girl. She must’ve really liked Eren to have become this upset. The three of them went to their rooms, and went straight to bed, or at least that’s what Erwin assumed. When Levi could hear Erwin’s overly-loud snoring through the damn wall, he slipped out of his room like a shadow. 

Eren was lying in bed on top of the duvet. He‘d managed to strip down to nothing but his boxer shorts, then proceeded to lay back and let the events of the day flood his mind to the point of drowning him. He wasn’t sure what he should do next. He wanted to see Levi, so badly, but he couldn’t risk waking Erwin by going up to his hotel room, not after what had just happened. 

Suddenly, there was a quiet knock at his door. 

Levi was a nervous wreck as he knocked, the wooden door hurt his knuckles and he cursed at himself under his breath for being so damn weak. Before he knew it, the door had flung open, and there stood Eren wearing nothing but a ridiculously tight pair of boxer shorts. 

Levi gulped, this was going to be... incredibly hard. 

“Levi,” Eren smiled like a cheshire cat, “please, come in.” 

“Keep it down,” Levi hissed, “and don’t use my name out loud like that someone might hear us.” 

Eren closed the door behind his love quietly, and Levi made himself at home immediately, plopping down onto the bed, glaring up at Eren with those gorgeous, midnight eyes. 

“You could’ve put some clothes on, Eren.” He sighed, rolling his eyes in that sexual way that made Eren’s cock twitch. 

“You could take yours off, professor.” Eren chided, giving his love a flirtatious wink. To his disappointment, Levi didn’t seem to share in his good mood. 

“Knock it off!” Levi’s posture was suddenly rigid, his tone fearful. “Do you know how much of a rollercoaster today has been for me? We got caught Eren! Can you be mature for one fucking minute.” 

“I’m... I’m sorry.” 

Eren came down to sit by Levi’s side on the bed. He took one of Levis delicate hands into his own, it felt icy, cold, and Eren could feel that his love was shaking. “Don’t worry Levi, I handled it.” 

“What does that even mean?” Levi spat. His rational mind screamed at him to yank his hand out of Eren’s grasp, but he didn’t. Instead he just sat there, hating himself for enjoying the boy’s warmth. “What did you say to Annie? You made her cry!” 

Eren was surprised that Levi wasn't happier, full of gratitude, thanking him. “I just warned her off, that’s all.” 

“Warned her?” Levi’s eyes widened, and he gazed at Eren in disbelief. “You mean you threatened her? Oh I really fucking hope not Eren, I swear to god if you’ve...” 

“There was nothing else I could do!” Eren interrupted, defensive and desperate. “She was spouting all kinds of rubbish about how I was sleeping with you for better grades, and about how I didn’t love you, and saying that she was going to tell everyone those lies about you... and I... I just snapped.” 

Levi sighed, the situation was far from ideal, but there was nothing that he could do now. He needed to focus on keeping his secret, and nothing more. 

“Eren,” he turned to face the boy, who could only gaze back into his eyes adoringly. “You didn’t hurt her, did you?” 

Eren paused.

“No, I didn’t.” 

Levi gave an audible sigh of relief, and his posture relaxed, just a little. 

“And at this point, it’s just our word against hers, right?” 

Eren gave his love a sweet smile. “Yes.” 

“Then I suppose, as long as there’s no proof then it doesn’t really matter what she says.” Levi felt defeated, like a deflated balloon being carried by the strong wind. He had no control over this situation, no control over what Annie might do or say, but even though it felt wrong, he knew he had the upper hand here. “It makes me feel sick to tarnish a girl’s reputation like this, but if she starts blabbing about what she saw we can paint her as the jilted ex-girlfriend who’s spreading rumours to get back at the boy she liked, and the professor who refused to take her little bribe to go on the trip. I don't like it, but it's believable at least.” 

“It’s a great idea Levi!” Eren beamed, but he was shut down before he had a chance to say any more. 

“No, Eren.” Eren could practically hear the pain in his love’s voice, and it hurt him deeply. “This is horrible, I hate this so much. It’s not a ‘great idea’ to make that poor girl out to be a liar, it’s just plain cruel, it’s a last resort.” 

Eren was stunned, he studied his love's angelic face for any signs of happiness, any at all, but he couldn't find what he wanted. 

“But Levi, we’re free to keep being together now. Doesn’t that count for something?” He asked, squeezing Levi's hand lovingly in his own.

“No, it doesn’t!” Why couldn’t he understand? Why didn’t he just function like a normal damn human being? “I could’ve lost my job today! My entire career, my collaboration offer from Hange Zoe, I would’ve lost it all! And for what? For... for sex!” 

Eren was a little taken aback. His love must have been in shock, he must have been tired. Levi loved him, he just knew it. Earlier that day Levi had hugged him, smiled at him, thanked him, admired him. Now he was referring to his own soulmate as just ‘sex’. This was wrong. 

“Levi, it’s not sex, it’s love.” He watched as Levi’s expression changed from one of sadness, to frustration, and then to anger. “I love you Levi, and you love me. Why won’t you just admit it to yourself?” 

“Don’t be stupid, I don’t love you!” Levi finally found the strength to try and pull his hand away, but he found that he couldn’t. Eren’s grasp was much too tight. “Hey Eren, let go of me!” 

“No!” 

Eren pulled Levi back down to the bed, throwing him down onto his back and pinning his arms by his sides. He didn’t use much of his strength, and all the while he made sure that he wasn’t putting much pressure of Levi’s slim wrists. No matter what, he wouldn’t hurt him. 

Levi snarled up at him, “what the fuck do you think you’re doing? Stupid brat!” 

“I won’t let you go Levi, not until you say it!” 

“You’re crazy!” 

“Just say it!” 

Eren couldn’t take it any more. He knew that Levi loved him, he knew it with all of his heart and soul. The bond between them was like nothing that he’d ever felt before, and until they’d been caught by that moronic bitch everything had been going so well between them. This was merely a blip in their perfect relationship, he just had to make Levi see that. 

“I don’t love you, Eren.” 

“You do!” 

“I don’t!” 

“Well why then?” Eren felt as if he was reaching the end of his tether. He needed Levi in his life so badly, he needed him to stay by his side. Now that he’d had a taste of the forbidden fruit, there was no going back. “Why do you act this way around me? Why do you look at me with those eyes full of emotion? Why can’t you ever resist me? Why can I comfort you like nobody else ever could? Huh, Levi, tell me, please.” 

“I...I...”

“You can’t even deny that those things are all true, can you?” Eren said, more softly this time. “Even if you can‘t admit it to me, at least... at least admit it to yourself.” 

Levi could feel his head spinning as he looked up at Eren. It wasn’t so often that the kid wore his hair down like this, and damn it looked so fucking good. Eren looked like a god, towering over him like that, and Levi hated that it made him feel safe. He hated that what Eren had said was all true. He hated that even though this fucking brat had thrown him down on the bed and tried to force a confession of love out of him, all Levi could think about right now was how good it felt to be pinned down like this, and how good it would feel to have Eren inside him. 

Eren did make him feel safe, happy, comfortable, confident... ok maybe he made Levi’s life better in every way. However, that didn’t mean that Levi was in love with him. He hated everything about Eren, he despised him, he... fuck he couldn’t even look away from his smouldering stare. It was as if a demon resided in that perfectly sculpted body, and against all of his better judgement Levi found himself wanting more and more and more. 

“I...I hate you.” Levi breathed, he slipped one hand out of Eren’s loose grasp, tugging at the boy’s sleek hair until their lips touched. “I hate you...” he panted again between the short breaths that they took. “I hate that you do this to me...” 

Levi was hard as he delved his tongue into his lover’s mouth, exploring every crevice of it, leaving nothing untouched. He knew that this was wrong on so many levels, but he couldn’t stop. Everything about the brat was so appealing, his scent, his touch, his body. He wanted to drown in him, and even though he wished that it wasn’t the case, he knew that Eren was absolutely right. 

Eren was his heroin, and he was completely and utterly addicted to him.


	19. Overwhelmed

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Can I just say that I really, really appreciate all of your reviews, kudos and comments! It gives me a lot of motivation and I love that. Always feel free to ask questions or leave constructive criticism too if you want to i'm open to everything really. :) 
> 
> Thank you! <3

Levi turned Eren onto his back, and Eren let him. His dilated pupils covered up the glint in his green eyes as he looked up at his love in pure amazement. The smaller man had straddled his nearly naked body, his pretty hands grasping at Eren’s soft skin as he dipped down to take another sweet taste of the boy’s lips. His saliva was like nectar, his hot, wet tongue like a battery that sparked Levi into action the moment that it made contact with him. 

When Levi’s slim fingers felt the taut muscles through his student’s smooth skin he shuddered. His fingertips kept pressing for more, searching for the divine sensation that they gave him when he moved or flexed underneath him. The professor was attracted to Eren’s strength in the most instinctive, primitive way. He knew that Eren could protect him from whoever would dare to do him harm, he knew that Eren would jump at the chance to do so. 

Never in his life had he experienced emotions of this intensity. He had never been loved in this way, and although Levi couldn’t explain his own feelings towards the boy there was one thing that he did know for certain: Those emerald eyes hid a perfect balance of madness and kindness, and if the day ever came when he was no longer able to gaze into those eyes, he would be devastated. 

It couldn’t be love, but then what was it? It was more than lust, more than possessiveness, more than comfort. The thought of another person tasting Eren, touching him, fucking him, made him sick. All of a sudden Levi began to wonder wether he’d lost his mind completely, but he couldn’t deny the fact that having Eren around him was dangerously addictive; and he had no intention of giving him up. He didn’t understand, he’d had plenty of flings in the past. There would be a spark, there would be sex, then they would go their separate ways without sadness or regret. This was so different, Levi couldn’t stand the thought of Eren in someone else's arms, and even though the kid’s obsessive love for him was creepy and uncomfortable, it was still HIS. 

“I can’t control myself around you any more,” Levi panted as he began to rock his hips slowly back and forth against Eren, who in turn placed his hands on Levi’s slender thighs, guiding him lovingly. “I’ve known this was wrong from the very beginning, but I keep giving in to you.” His eager hands stroked at the tip of Eren’s cock through his boxers as he swayed against his hardening shaft, in this moment there was nothing in this world that he wanted more. He had so much pent up stress from the events of the day. He had been pushed almost to his limit, and he was still on edge. His thrusting got faster, harder, and he couldn’t think of any other way to release it. “I don’t understand,” Levi’s voice was a faint whisper, his eyes closed and he let himself get lost in the physical sensations. “Why? Why do I keep giving in you?” He felt moisture against his fingertips as Eren began to leak warm pre-come. It made him shudder. He wanted this, he wanted it and he wished that he didn’t. “Why do I always want to give in to you?” 

He shouldn’t be feeling this way, he didn’t understand why, or how this had happened. Just weeks ago Eren had been nothing but a memory, and in the shortest time something terrifying and beautiful had blossomed from the seed of attraction that Eren had planted within him. What happened to the Levi Ackerman that valued his pride over his sexual urges? What happened to the Levi Ackerman who had built his life around his career? The man who could face his greatest fears alone and would still always come out on top? 

He felt pathetic, useless, worthless. Eren had injected his venom straight into his heart and now he wondered if he would ever be rid of him. He worried that maybe a tiny part of Eren lived within him somehow, and it would eat away at him from the inside out, taking over his every thought, every emotion until he was truly under the boy’s unbreakable spell. 

The thought of making the plane journey home without Eren by his side terrified him, the thought of taking another man to bed left him dissatisfied. The entire conference, his deal with Hange Zoe, his thriving self-confidence, everything that was going so well in his life was because of that brat. How did a boy of such a young age, a student that he was forbidden to touch, have such a hold over him? 

He hated it! He hated Eren, he hated himself, he hated everything! 

How was it possible for Eren to appeal to every aspect of his physical taste? How did he just automatically know how to calm him down? How did he manage to guess everything that he liked from his favourite choices of drink to his sense of fashion? It just didn’t make sense! Nobody was this perfect, were they? How did Eren just GET him like that?

The line between ‘right’ and ‘wrong’ had been blurred way too quickly, and now Levi had been left questioning whether he was a terrible person or not. Was it wrong to be with Eren in this way? He didn’t know any more. He didn’t know whether it was his job, or his pride that made him resist the boy’s advances in the beginning. He didn’t know if it was his lust, or a sudden change in morals that made him finally give in. Did he hate Eren, oh fuck did he love him!? 

The questions spun around in his head like the cycle of a tumblr dryer until he felt dizzy, and sick. It was overwhelming, and he could feel his heart begin to pound, and his hands begin to shake, until...

“Levi,” Eren’s voice broke when he spoke, and all of a sudden his strong hands stopped shifting Levi’s body back and forth. “My love, what’s wrong?” 

A soft thumb came up to Levi’s cheek, wiping away a bitter tear that he didn’t even know had formed. The professor hadn’t realised that his emotions had bubbled up to the surface and began to leak out of his eyes in salty droplets. He stilled himself, looking down at the source of all his problems, all his excitement, all his desire, and before his brain could process his reaction he completely came undone and began to sob. 

“Hey, hey,” Eren hushed his love, lifting himself up into a sitting position and wrapping his arms around Levi tightly. “Why are you crying?” Levi buried his face into Eren’s long, smooth hair, which tickled his neck as he rested his chin onto Eren’s broad shoulder. His body convulsed as his emotions overwhelmed him, but Eren held him tightly, firmly in place. His hands rubbed rhythmically up and down Levi’s back, his arms wrapped all the way around the smaller man with room to spare. Just as expected, that soothing touch alone was beginning to calm him already. The professor knew that his student was in no rush, and for a few minutes Eren just held his love in complete silence, taking in his scent. 

“Talk to me, Levi.” 

Eren’s smooth, deep voice sent Levi’s head into the clouds. The longer that the boy held him in his arms, the quicker he began to gather his thoughts, and soon enough the crying subsided. 

“It’s all just... too much...” Levi sniffled. He felt moronic, like a pathetic, hurt child that needed comforting. “Too quick...” 

Strangely enough, Eren understood. He had felt the weight of this love for years, and Levi was experiencing it for the first time. He’d been a fool, got too carried away without regard for his love’s wellbeing. Everything had happened so fast, and Eren had treat his angel like a melting ice-cream on a hot summers day, meant to be devoured and tasted as quickly as possible. Levi wasn’t that, Levi was a fine wine. He needed to be savoured and admired and appreciated before one was able to feel the dizzying effects of the alcohol in their bloodstream. It was nearly impossible for Eren to contain himself around the man that he loved, but he knew that he could do it if it would make him happy. 

“I’m so sorry, Levi,” Eren hung his head in shame, bringing his chin to rest on Levi’s shoulder as he held him more tightly, pressing his bare torso up against him. “I should’ve known better, I’m sorry.” 

He could feel his heart sink. Knowing that his actions had reduced his love to tears was beyond painful. He wanted to punish himself. How dare he? How dare he make Levi feel this way, due to his own sheer stupidity? 

“It’s not your fault,” Levi breathed into his ear. The sensation sent electric shocks down his spine, and he shuddered against Levi’s tiny body. “You were clear about what you wanted from the very beginning. I made the choices that I did, despite that fact.” 

Levi pulled his head back so his bloodshot eyes could meet with Eren’s. He could feel his stomach drop when he saw the pain in the boy’s expression, and he had to fight back another round of tears that threatened to spill. They prickled at the corners of his eyes teasingly, but Levi’s determination was stronger than they were. 

“I chose to do the things that we did because I wanted to.” Levi admitted, cursing himself as the brat’s expression became softer, and his heart soared at the sight of his happiness. “I’m overwhelmed because this isn’t like me,” he said, taking a delicate hand and stroking it through Eren’s sinfully soft hair. “These choices aren’t the ones I thought that I’d make, and ... I’m scared by my own actions.” Somehow, speaking those words felt like an epiphany. It was as if he had just put his own feelings into words for the first time, ergo finally understanding a part of himself that had been scrambling his brain for much too long.

Levi wasn’t sure what he expected from Eren next, but what he got surprised him. Eren gently lowered him down until his head melted into the soft pillow below him. He slid the duvet out from underneath him, leaving him a little cold, but still comfortable none the less.

“It’s ok, Levi.” He purred, stroking his love’s face in a caring fashion as he smiled down at him. 

Slowly, his long fingers began to undo Levi’s shirt buttons, one by one, until the milky, white skin on his chest was revealed. He shimmied the clothing off of his love’s slender frame, and simply looked down at him with beaming eyes. Levi could feel the cool air hit his bare skin as the fabric slid off his body with ease. He wasn’t sure what Eren was going to do next, but somehow he trusted him.

“I promise,” Eren breathed, turning Levi onto his side and sliding himself in behind him so his muscular chest was pressed against Levi’s back. “I won’t rush you any more, ok?” 

He pulled the thick, warm duvet up over them both, and snaked his arm under the crook of Levi’s neck. His arm wrapped around his love, and to Levi it felt like an angel’s wing, shielding him from the worries of the world. 

“Ok,” was all that Levi managed to utter, as he sank into the embrace a little more comfortably than he would’ve liked to. 

He wasn’t sure how or why all of his frustration had drifted away, but right now he didn’t care. The part of his mind that told him that this was wrong was shrinking and drowning and suffocating under the soft feathers of Eren’s wing, burning and searing in the fires set by the demon that lay dormant within the boy’s body. Levi didn’t know much about love, but that was ok. He didn’t know why he felt so drawn to the kid, but that was ok. 

He didn’t know what he wanted from all of this, he wasn’t sure if it was wise or dangerous or detrimental to his mental health, but he didn’t care; and for now, that was ok too.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Sorry I kinda blue-balled you all there. There IS porn in the next chapter ok? Plus plenty of crazy stuff that will frustrate/ delight you coming up in the plot too :)


	20. Lucky

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> NSFW!

Levi snuck back into his own hotel room in the early hours of the morning after falling asleep in Eren’s arms. He, Eren, Annie and Erwin had breakfast together in near silence, each one of them feeling too scared or too awkward to speak to one another. 

The taxi journey was over in a flash and before they knew it they were boarding their flight back home. Nobody questioned Annie when she told them that her father had paid for her to move seats, and quite frankly Eren and Levi were glad not to have her sitting close to them. Once the plane was up in the air, Erwin put on his ridiculous, novelty eye mask, and before anybody knew it he was snoring quietly. 

Eren and Levi waited until they were sure that he was asleep before they took the opportunity to hold hands underneath Levi’s coat, which they placed strategically over his lap. Levi needed that comfort, as pathetic as it made him feel. Eren talked Levi through his breathing exercises, which overall he felt like he was picking up with ease. After all, it was his job as Levi’s soulmate to keep him safe, happy, comfortable. He had to learn how to handle his love in any situation. 

For a while it worked and Levi managed to stay calm, but after an hour or so...

“Levi,” Eren was feeling inquisitive as he watched his love shuffle and groan. He didn’t look particularly comfortable, despite his breathing exercises, and despite his hand being held with a thumb stroking up and down his fingers soothingly. Something about the look in his eyes seemed a little too familiar, something about it just seemed... off. 

“Yeah,” Levi replied, the discomfort in his voice standing out frustratingly. 

Eren didn’t like it, he wanted his love to be comfortable.

He was meant to be the one to take care of Levi, and the fact that he was unhappy meant that he was doing a bad job. Levi had been perfectly content for the duration of the journey so far, with the exception of the takeoff where Erwin was still awake and Eren was forces to grin and bear watching fear paint his lover’s face like an unwelcome mask. It was torturous to see Levi in so much pain, especially when there was little to nothing that he could do to help. 

“Is there anything I can do to make you more comfortable? Do you want another glass of wine? Or maybe I could give you a massage, or...” 

“Distraction,” Levi interrupted, his brow furrowed and he gazed over at Eren with a dreamy and glazed look in his eyes. “My heart’s beating too fast, and my head feels dizzy, and I know I’m fine but I think I just need... a distraction... or something...” 

Eren squeezed Levi’s cold hand, his thumb stroking the thigh under the coat on his professor’s lap.

Of course, when people are anxious it often helps to have a distraction of some sort, right?

But... what could he do? He could run some of his research plans by Levi, he was always passionate about his work but... no, somehow he got the feeling that spouting complex theories at him whilst he was pent up and bothered would just annoy him. 

So then ... what could he do? 

“Mhmm,” Levi moaned again in frustration, and Eren eyed him suspiciously. This was hardly how he had expected Levi to act, and if he was honest with himself, a part of him sensed deception in his professor’s tone when he spoke. After all, Eren was a master of deception. He knew how to spot it in others.

On the plane journey to England, Levi had been scared, shaking and whimpering from the anxiety of being up in the air in such a confined space. Eren had fully prepared himself for another bout of this behaviour, but he noticed no such fear in Levi’s eyes right now. 

No, this was something different. 

“Is there any particular type of distraction that you have in mind, professor?” Eren asked him, cocking his head to the side to study his love’s perfect features more carefully. 

As he looked closer, more intently, he began to notice that there was a hint of something that he recognised. The closer he looked the more apparent it became. His face was glowing a soft, blossom pink. His bottom lip was wavering slightly, and his teeth were holding it gently in place. Eren studied his pretty eyes, and if he wasn’t mistaken, there was that familiar sparkle in them that Levi tended to have when he was feeling...

Eren trailed his thumb further up Levi’s thigh, until he hit...

“Hey!” Levi stage whispered, his cheeks immediately flushing crimson as Eren’s thumb swept across the head of his semi-hard cock. All of a sudden, his odd behaviour made total sense.

“Really?” Eren jested, giving the sensitive head another stroke teasingly, revelling in the gasp that Levi let out in response.

Bingo! Levi wasn’t just anxious, he was horny too. Eren wasn’t sure why this particular situation had his professor sporting a rather impressive semi, but Eren certainly wasn’t complaining. If Levi wanted to come, then Eren was more than happy to provide him with whatever he wanted, whenever he wanted it. What more could a proper lover do?

“Keep it down!” He hissed, humiliated by the fact that his own body would betray him in such a way. Even more humiliated by the fact that Eren had figured out his problem so easily. “It’s not like I meant to get like this, it’s just that your hand is so close to my... and I didn’t get to finish last night and, well...” His words trailed off to nothing, and the embarrassment that he felt kept him from making eye contact with Eren as the boy stroked the head of his cock over and over, hidden by the thickness of the coat on Levi’s lap. 

“Tch,” Levi huffed, his anger with himself rivalling his own sexual urges. He'd never had trouble controlling his sexual desires before, especially in public! Then that annoying brat came into his life and he found himself becoming utterly aroused just by the boy’s stupid hand being a few inches away from his crotch. 

Eren glanced over at Erwin, and of course, he was still asleep. His head was tilted back against the headrest and soft, purring snores were leaving his slightly open mouth. The novelty open eyes on his eye mask made him feel a little uneasy, as if he was being watched. 

“I can give you what you need, Levi...” Eren purred, the eagerness in his tone was not well hidden. Levi could tell that Eren wanted to touch him as much as he craved to be touched. That fact only spurred him on more, dragging his soul deeper down into the burning pit of arousal that was his loins. 

This was crazy, though! They were in public, there was no way that Eren could take care of him here. They would just have to wait until they were back home. Maybe if he thought of something really gross it would be a sufficient boner-killer. 

He closed his eyes. Fuck! All he could concentrate on was the feeling of Eren pawing at his erection like a curious feline and suddenly the only image in his mind was that of Eren in his overly revealing tank top, smirking down at him like hungrily like he was a predator, and Levi was his prey. 

That just made things worse.

Eren’s nimble fingers popped open the button on Levi’s trousers silently, and with ease. His hand reached down underneath two layers of fabric until his palm was graced by the hot, clammy skin that he was searching for. 

“What are you...!?” Levi breathed, very aware of the fact that he was in a public space. “E-Eren, you can’t just!...” 

“Shhh,” Eren placed a thick finger to Levi’s lips, hushing him as his right hand worked Levi’s shaft to full hardness. Levi didn’t fight it too much. One one hand he couldn’t cause a scene in such a public place, on the other, the part of him that didn’t want Eren to stop at all was beginning to overshadow the rational part of his brain. Once Levi was fully erect, a task that didn’t take very long, Eren was able to pull his length out of the fabric. 

“Eren, we’re in public!” Levi couldn’t raise his voice, but the panic in his tone was apparent. “Don’t you remember what happened last time?” This was a dangerous game that they were playing, but fuck Eren’s hand felt good against him. It had been no time at all and the movements of the boy’s hand were already becoming smoother with the sheer amount of slick that was leaking from his tip as Eren stroked him teasingly.

“No Levi, please remind me.” Levi hated it when Eren played coy like this, he hated that it make his dick harder. Stupid fucking brat, why did he have to be so sexy all the damn time? 

“You know damn well that we got caught last time we did this in public,” he spat, urging his body to ignore the faint sparks of pleasure that were beginning to light up in his body. Eren was damn good with his hands, his little performance at the conference had proven that fact beyond a doubt, and now he was at it again. “You need to stop,” Levi told him, his voice was stern, but his heart wasn’t in his words. “It’s n-not worth the risk.” 

To Levi’s surprise, Eren stopped the smooth movements of his hand immediately, instead sliding his hand back into Levi’s comfortingly. 

“You’re right professor,” he whispered, giving his love a reassuring smile. “I’m sorry, I’ll stop.” 

Levi was a little lost for words as he looked over at Eren in astonishment, his cock was still out underneath the coat on his lap and it was practically aching for attention. He felt empty without Eren’s hand wrapped around his length. Holy fuck, his cock was twitching, screaming for more of what Eren had to offer. He knew that he should ignore his urges, should settle back down into his seat and try and think of something else. But... how could he? Eren’s hand was still so close to him, his warm thumb still slicked up from his pre-come and stroking across his knuckles so rhythmically. Levi knew that stroking would feel so much better if he were to just do it against the head of his cock instead. 

Damn it all! Why did Eren’s mere presence always have him so worked up like this? 

“E-Eren...” Levi said, refusing to look the boy in the eyes when he spoke his next words. His body had a nasty habit of whittling away at his brain. Each time Levi found himself in a situation like this one, the rational part of his mind that told him to stop was a little weaker, and his urges always won the ensuing battle. “Just... just make it quick, ok?” 

Eren didn’t even have to think about what he was doing, it came naturally to him and all of a sudden his hand was back where it belonged as if it had never left. Levi closed his eyes, his hand came to rest on Eren’s forearm, fingers digging into Eren’s skin as he fought to control the natural reactions of his body. His perfect face was flushed, his brow furrowed with concentration. 

He looked sinful, and Eren couldn’t take his eyes off him.

Eren couldn’t help but smile like a damn moron as he watched Levi’s eyes squeeze just that little bit tighter when Eren picked up his pace. He loved the fact that Levi was fighting to keep himself calm, even though Eren could feel his length twitching in his hand. Levi had told him to make this quick, but every cell in Eren’s brain begged him to tease Levi until he was whimpering into the crook of his neck. 

What harm would it do if he dragged on the process for a little longer than he should? If anything, Levi would enjoy it more. It was just too tempting when Eren thought about edging Levi until the man was pleading for his release. He could do it for hours, reducing Levi to a complete mess, and when his dignity had finally eroded enough for him to beg for his climax... then Eren would still make him wait for it. 

Fuck, just these thoughts alone were powering Eren’s hand like a jackhammer as he jerked his love into a state of unrivalled bliss. His own big, hard cock was pressing painfully against his jeans. 

Shit, Eren: Focus! 

“Ahhh,” Levi moaned a little more loudly than he had intended to when Eren slowed down his pacing. He steadied himself to a gentle, slow palming. “Why did you s-slow down?” Levi whined, his hips bucking upwards into Eren’s hand messily and involuntarily. “I was getting c-close.” 

Eren could feel his entire body tense at the sight before him. Levi was hot, so hot that Eren could feel himself vaporising. He had the self-control of a fucking god, and it took him everything that he had not to just bend Levi right over the arm of the chair and pound his cock into that sweet, little ass with the ferocity of a fucking hurricane. How was a man expected to restrain himself when the hottest man alive was writhing beneath him like a dirty slut?

Eren could feel his face heating up as he watched Levi’s cute, scrunched up face. He knew exactly what to do with his hand to drive Levi over the edge, but he couldn’t bring himself to do it yet. He needed to watch his love for longer, to etch every detail of his being into his memory so he could use it again and again, over and over until he was completely spent. He didn’t stop the slow movements of his wrist, feeling the friction of his hand against levi’s throbbing dick and knowing just how delicious said friction would feel for his love. 

“Eren...” Levi moaned, throwing his head forward to lean on Eren’s bicep. Soft, shiny strands of black hair fell front of his eyes, and his small, sloped nose pushed against Eren’s skin. “Don’t tease, p-please...” 

Well fuck, he'd really done it now. 

How could Eren not tease him when he was begging him so sweetly, looking so pretty like that?

“If you could see how good you looked right now then you would be doing the same,” Eren smirked, taking his free hand and stroking Levi’s head in a comforting fashion. It was as condescending as it was calming, but none the less Levi found himself nuzzling into Eren’s open palm like a puppy. 

It was rare for Levi to become so aroused that he needed his release so desperately, and yet here he was, thrusting into Eren’s hand like a needy bitch. “I c-can’t last long...” he panted, his voice muffled slightly by Eren’s thick arm. “N-no matter how much you tease me, I won’t last.” 

“We’ll see,” Eren chuckled, planting a tender kiss on Levi’s head as he worked up and down his shaft, quicker and quicker. Levi was beyond restless at this point. He was shifting and gasping and moaning as quietly as he could, and as much as Eren wanted to watch his love in this state forever, if he didn’t hurry then they would almost certainly be caught. 

Teasing Levi for hours on end would have to wait.

There were two things that Eren had discovered about Levi when it came to sex. 

Number one: he was loud, devilishly vocal. It was stupidly sensual, like a symphony of love. 

Number two: he really didn’t last very long if you touched him in the right way. Eren loved that about him, it made him wonder just how many times he could bring Levi to climax during one session, and just how long he could edge him for. 

“Look at me,” Eren demanded, tugging Levi’s hair lightly to lift his head. He opened his glistening eyes, and Eren swore that he could see galaxies in them. Levi’s mouth was hanging open, his eyes pleading with Eren to give him the sensation that would make him see stars. “Are you ready, professor?” 

He could tell that Levi was close, he could feel it. His cock was as hard as it could possibly be, the the sheer amount of pre-come could’ve drowned him. 

“Fuck, Eren,” he whimpered. “Please, please let me come, please...” 

Fuck Eren loved it when Levi begged for it like this. He was so good for him, so obedient, so submissive. Eren was sure that he could come in his damn pants if he wanted to, but he didn’t have the energy to focus on himself right now. He wanted to look right into Levi’s eyes when he came. 

“No looking away,” Eren told him, he could feel Levi’s cock begin to twitch almost violently. 

This was it. 

“Don’t take your eyes off me.” 

“Eren,” Levi launched himself upwards to catch Eren’s lips in a hot, heavy kiss. Eren’s open mouth stifled the wail that he let out as his body convulsed, his fingers digging into Eren’s soft skin as he came hard into his pumping hand. He was sure that Levi was cursing into his mouth as he kissed him, rutting into his hand, chasing the dwindling threads of his orgasm as the hot come painted Eren’s fingers like a messy blanket. 

Eren watched him possessively the entire time, burning the image of his beautiful face all twisted with pleasure into his mind. He looked desperate, like he needed the pleasure that Eren was giving him, like his entire life depended on it, and by the time that Levi had finished his expression softened, and his head flopped back down onto Eren’s arm. 

How precious, how perfect, how divine!

The boy’s strong hand came up to gently stroke Levi’s hair, his other and, coated in come clasped Levi’s underneath their cover. A quick glance around the plane confirmed that the two of them had managed to accomplish their goal completely undetected. Eren knew that they would. 

Everything felt so blissful in this moment, and suddenly Eren couldn’t stop himself from placing small, delicate kisses on Levi’s head. 

“You did so well, Levi.” He purred in-between loving kisses. Levi responded only by cuddling up to his student more closely. “Well done, you’ve been so good for me.” 

It was daring of them, to do this in public once again after all of the drama that had ensued just the day before. It was stupid! Insane! But when it came down to it, neither of them wanted to hold back. 

They were lucky this time, but as Levi lost himself in Eren's tender embrace he couldn't help but think: 'what if I'm not so lucky next time?'


	21. Too Long

Eren had been back home for a week now, and so far everything was running smoothly. He hadn’t seen Annie since the trip, not even in class which was kind of strange. Annie wasn’t usually the type to skip class, or so Historia told him. It wasn’t like he paid much attention to anybody in that class anyway, so it was nice to have Historia around to keep him up to date. 

Speaking of Historia, she had been all kinds of clingy since Eren had arrived back from England. She was always asking him out for coffee, taking him to on-campus bars after classes, leading him on scenic strolls through the university gardens. It was honestly exhausting; that girl must’ve been lonely whilst he’d been away. Right now it seemed like she couldn’t get enough of him. 

At this point however, Eren wasn’t complaining. Levi had been distant since they’d arrived back from England. Eren knew that he was still shaken up about being caught by Annie, and he did promise that he wouldn’t be pushy or rush him any more, but seeing him almost every day in class and being unable to touch him was unbearable. He’d had to jack off at least three times a day thinking of him, and damn it was the best that he’d ever made himself feel. 

Now he had the memories of Levi in a number of erotic, sensual positions. He knew what Levi sounded like when he reached the peak of ecstasy, he knew what he tasted like. The memories acted as a form of personal pornography that he couldn’t switch off. Whenever he was on his own the pictures would come flooding back to him and he would find himself getting incredibly hard at the most awkward moments. 

Right now Historia was serving as a mild distraction from his frustration, and for that Eren was thankful.

Classes had been normal, apart from the fact that Levi would occasionally lose his train of thought when he looked over to meet Eren’s intense eyes. Eren thought that it was adorable. His love would suddenly go quiet, he’d stumble over his words and a crimson blush would grace his angelic face. He could tell that Levi was becoming increasingly frustrated with himself as now he’d taken to simply not looking at Eren at all. 

It was quite amusing, his steely eyes would wander over the students at the back of the class, completely neglecting anybody who was sat within Eren’s vicinity. 

It was sweet that Levi had to take such measures to keep his composure, but Eren wasn’t exactly the type of guy to play fairly, and today was no exception. 

“It’s really cold today,” Historia whined, wrapping her arms around her petite frame as she walked quickly by Eren’s side to keep up with his long strides. 

Eren looked down at her in annoyance. Of course she was cold, it was coming up to winter and the moron was dressed as if it were a warm, spring evening. He’d noticed that her style of clothing had changed since he’d arrived back at the university. All of her tops were low cut, her skirts were shorter too. Goodness knows why she had decided to come out without a proper coat, it was an icy day! Maybe she thought that her damn excessive makeup would keep her warm, who knew!?

Eren sighed, girls were weird. 

“Here,” Eren had slipped off his coat before Historia had even noticed. He held it out to her, and he swore that her expanding pupils took over the vibrant blue of her eyes. 

“Oh Eren, you didn’t have to...” 

“You’ll catch a cold if you’re not more careful, Historia.” Eren interrupted her mid sentence, he couldn’t have Historia missing classes, he’d have nobody to sit with. “So please, wrap up.” 

Historia was grinning from ear to ear when she took Eren’s coat, wrapping it around her body like a blanket. It smelled like him, and she couldn’t stop herself from taking deeper breaths, immersing herself in the comforting scent. She felt as if she was on a cloud, content in the fact that Eren cared about her wellbeing. 

The situation worked in Eren’s favour. Today he was going to get Levi’s attention, even if that meant that he had to play dirty. 

It was better for him to walk into the lecture without a coat on anyway. He’d worn his tightest, thinnest white t-shirt, and his favourite pair of black jeans that hugged his ass teasingly. 

This was sure to get his love’s attention. 

When Eren walked into the lecture room his pupils dilated. Could Levi read his mind or something? Or was it just a coincidence that his love seemed to be playing the same game as he was. 

The professor looked stunning. 

There was never a moment that Levi didn’t look like the epitome of perfection, but today it seemed like he had made an extra effort. He stood at the front of the class looking so damn bored that it hurt. It was as if he didn’t know that the mere sight of him had Eren’s stomach doing cartwheels, his heart pounding at twice its usual speed. 

The shirt that he’d chosen to wear was jet black. Three buttons were undone and on somebody as tiny as Levi, that meant a lot of skin was on show. It was rare that Levi wore light coloured trousers, but whenever he did it absolutely floored Eren. 

Today was no exception. 

When the professor turned to write on the whiteboard Eren could see the shape of his perky ass through his light grey trousers and he wanted nothing more than to rip those damn pants right off his body. 

He could feel his head spinning already as the blood began to rush down south. This was going to be a long, hard lecture, but he was determined to catch Levi’s attention this time. 

 

It had been about half an hour, and still, Levi hadn’t looked in Eren’s direction once. Eren had tried to catch his eye multiple times, but Levi was strong, determined. Gaining this man’s attention was a challenge, and as frustrating as that was, that was half of the fun. 

It was time to bring his A-game. No more messing around. 

“So,” Levi began, turning back towards the class after writing something on the whiteboard that resembled algebraic formulae. “If we take X-Bar theory into consideration here...” 

He droned on and on about syntax, and although Eren would usually melt at the sound of his professor’s voice alone, today he needed more. It had been way too long since he’d touched Levi, and now that he’d gone all the way there was no going back. 

Eren needed Levi to look at him. It was all becoming too much. He lifted his arms up into the air, stretching his muscles, flexing against his tight t-shirt. The boy made sure that the most sinful, delicious groan left his lips as he did so. 

The sound was just suspicious enough to sound sexually charged, but not suspicious enough to attract the attention of most of his classmates. His moan was similar to his sound of sexual climax. After all, Levi knew what that sounded like now, it was sure to turn him on even if it was just a little.

Finally! Levi’s eyes were on him, although it was only for a brief moment. Their eyes met and the spark ignited the flames in their loins again. 

Levi lost his train of thought, stumbling over his words like a fool. It was adorable.

Ok good, that was ... something at least. 

“Umm... oh and if you struggle with drawing something like this, then...” 

He continued as if nothing had happened, turning back to the whiteboard and scribbling down his words smoothly with those delicate wrists. Fuck, Eren couldn’t help but take in another eyeful of his ass, shifting in his chair uncomfortably. This wasn’t the first time that he had gotten hard in class, and it certainly wouldn’t be the last. 

That fact however did not make the situation any less difficult to deal with. 

His love was so damn perfect.

 

Levi was practically shaking as he wrote on the whiteboard. That dumb brat, that stupid, moronic boy! 

Why did he insist on making his job so damn hard? 

Not only did he decide to wear his tightest t-shirt, one that would show off every damn grabbable contour of his body, but he thought that the perfect noise to make while he stretched was that of a wanton whore! Levi couldn’t help but look over at him when he made that slutty noise, and there he was, stretching his arms up so his toned abs could be seen when his shirt lifted up. 

Well two could play at that game. Screw you Jaeger, you’ll pay for this. 

Levi had been purposely avoiding Eren for the past week. He figured that spending time away from the brat would dull his feelings, but somehow it had only made things worse. He’d spent his nights alone in his bedroom, trying so desperately to ignore his raging boners as the thoughts of Eren filling him up clouded his mind. 

Every time he would give in to his temptation, touching himself shamefully as he thought about the boy’s strong frame towering over him, his big, hot hands on his cock. Each time he came, he would think about those dazzling, green eyes, and then when it was all over he would curse at himself. It made him feel dirty, disgusting, but for some reason Levi couldn’t get enough. 

Today would be different though. He was determined to give Eren a taste of his own bittersweet medicine. That dumb kid wasn’t going to get away with making him feel this way, all lustful and empty without his presence. 

No way! He was going to know how it felt to lust after something that he couldn’t have. 

“Phrases can contain intermediate constituents, projected from the head.” Levi said, making sure that his voice was low, smooth, flowing like sweet honey from between his lips. “We’ll call the head X.” He made sure that he started drawing his next syntax tree from the very bottom of the board, bending over just enough for it to require him to stick his ass up provocatively. His seductive posture was in perfect contrast to his monotone teaching voice. 

Levi had worn these particular trousers on purpose. He wasn’t blind, he knew what his ass looked like in these, and he was planning to milk his sex appeal for everything that it was worth. 

“So,” Levi purred, looking over his shoulder with cat-like, narrow eyes. He made sure that he met Eren’s gaze this time, and he could see the lust in the boy’s eyes. His face was flushed, his mouth agape as he stared directly at his professor, longingly. 

Good, he deserved to feel this way. Levi couldn’t count the amount of times that he’d thought of Eren in the past week on all of his fingers and toes. In fact, the number was practically infinite. Eren had been on his mind constantly, and that pissed Levi off to no end. 

Fucking Eren! Stupid boy! Idiot! Moron! 

“Tch,” Levi couldn’t help but huff to himself. He hated the fact that he was so, so damn attracted to this kid. 

He was going to see Eren after class, and he was going to teach him a lesson that he wouldn’t soon forget. 

When the bell rang, Levi wasn’t surprised to find Eren waiting behind after class.

“Don’t you ever fucking make that noise in class ever again!” Levi spat as he slammed the door of the storage cupboard behind him, sealing himself and Eren in utter isolation. “Didn’t I tell you to be subtle around me?” 

There wasn’t much space, but Eren still found it in him to lift Levi up by his legs, resting him down on the cluttered desk, manoeuvring around brooms and vacuum cleaners. 

“You’re right professor,” Eren teased, gripping Levi’s jet black hair and pulling his head forward until they were mere inches apart. He had to bend down to match Levi’s inferior height, and that only excited him more. “I’ve been bad, disobedient, and the only way to deal with disobedience is punishment.” 

“Tch,” Levi scowled, thrusting himself forwards, his legs wrapping themselves around Eren’s torso, pulling him in closer. “You’re such a fucking brat.” 

Their lips met in a messy, hot, heavy kiss. Their tongues found each other immediately, caressing each other with utter, desperate urgency. It had been too long, way too long since they had been able to embrace in this way. Levi had thought that when he got back into his regular routine he would be able to resist Eren easily, maybe seeing him every now and again. What he didn’t plan for, was the complete and utter need that he would have for the boy every time he saw him across the room. 

His cock was rock hard at the sight of Eren, so close to him, and yet still not close enough. 

He needed more. 

“I fucking want you,” Levi managed to stutter through trembling lips. 

“It’s been too long.” 

Eren’s ravenous hands were up under Levi’s shirt when the two were suddenly stopped by the jolty sound of the professor’s ringtone. Levi scowled as his attention was drawn to the vibrations coming from his pocket. His phone was vibrating against his hardened length and the sensation was almost painful. 

“Fuck,” Levi cursed, “Fuck, fuck.” 

He slid his phone out of his pocket, wincing as the brightness of the screen hit his eyes amongst the darkness of the room. 

“Hey,” Eren whined, grasping at Levi’s thighs in frustration. “Can’t you just ignore it? I don’t think I can wait any longer.” 

“Shit!” Levi spat, “it’s my fucking boss.” He scrambled to answer to phone, bringing it up to his ear and hushing Eren with a stern finger to the lips. Eren snarled back at him silently. His chest was heaving, his body shaking with anticipation. He had his love in front of him, hard and wanting, and holding off from touching him for another moment was killing him slowly. 

Levi mumbled into the phone, and as Eren watched his expression changed from one of lust, to annoyance, to something that resembled terror. It brought Eren back to the first moment that he saw his love panic on the plane, he had those same wide eyes, that same shocked look. His posture became rigid and all of a sudden Eren was filled with dread. 

Levi tapped his thumb against the screen of his phone, ending the call. Suddenly the room was flooded with silence. 

“Levi,” Eren said, calmly, quietly. “What’s wrong?” 

For a moment his love was voiceless, but then he looked up into Eren’s eyes, and the boy knew that whatever news he had just received couldn’t be good. 

“I’ve... I’ve got to go.”


	22. The Green Eyed Monster

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Sorry for the delay on my previous chapter, I spent some time away and went to see my favourite drag queen Aquaria live! (which was amazing).
> 
> Also I have another artist doing a little fan-sketch for this fic and I'm so happy! TY so much! <3

The impact of each footstep against the ground echoed like ripples through Levi’s ears. Every breath that he took was controlled, the cold air that filled his lungs chilled him right to the bone. Levi’s head was spinning, and his endurance levels were being heavily tested as he fought to keep himself upright. 

Stupid, he was stupid. 

His head was heavy with the weight of his own regret. Wide, steely eyes were fixed on his feet as he paced hesitantly towards the door of his boss’s office. Right now Levi felt as if he were walking toward his own doom, and yet still he kept going. 

Of course that prissy little bitch was going to rat him out. Levi wasn’t careful enough, and now he was paying the price. It was always going to be just a matter of time before Annie would disclose what she’d seen, but thanks to Eren, Levi had a plan. All he needed to do was stick to their story, and maybe, just maybe, they would get away with what they’d done. 

He drew in a deep, shaky breath and urged himself to focus. He could do this, he knew he could. He only wished that he could have Eren by his side right now to calm his nerves. When he had the boy by his side somehow difficult situations like this seemed a little easier to handle.

...The dumb brat.

“Professor Ackerman,” The all too familiar voice of authority called out to him as he swung open the door. Levi made sure to keep a straight face, letting a hint of annoyance seep out into his expression to show the damn fat bastard that he meant business. Rod Reiss sat back in his chair lazily, staring Levi down with a smug look on his face. Perfect, just what he fucking needed.

Levi fought back the urge to roll his eyes. He hated Reiss with a damn passion. The man may have been the head of the linguistics department and therefore Levi’s boss, but he was the laziest, most arrogant shit that Levi had ever had the displeasure of meeting. Grovelling to this worm to keep his job wasn’t something that Levi was willing to do, but no matter what, he would try his best to diffuse the situation at hand. 

“Sir,” Levi said, taking a seat in the chair across from the man that he so despised. 

Rod let his eyes wander up and down the professor’s frame suspiciously, lingering over the milky-white skin on his exposed chest for a little longer than Levi was usually willing to deal with. He bit down on his bottom lip, furrowing his brow and swallowing the urge to punch him in his stupid, fat face. 

“I’ll cut to the chase, Ackerman,” Rod grinned, and there was a wicked glint in his eye that made Levi feel uneasy. “You know why you’re here. Now can you explain why I’ve had the daughter of one of our wealthiest donors in my office telling tales about you sleeping with one of your students in exchange for better grades?” 

Fuck, he’d actually just come out and said it! There was no dancing around the subject, it was time to lie fast, and lie big. 

“You mean Annie Leonheardt?” Levi spat, folding his arms across his chest in disapproval. “The girl who’s had a vendetta against me since I refused to take her fathers bribe?” 

“Hmm,” Rod sat up in his chair, straightening his back. His gaze met Levi’s in an intimidating manner, but the professor was not the type to back down. “You refused to take Annie so you could take Eren Jaeger, am I correct?” 

Levi swallowed his anxiety. “I took the student who did the best in my exam,” he corrected. 

“And that student just happened to be Eren Jaeger, the very student who you’re accused of sleeping with?” Fuck, Levi wanted to smack the arrogant look right off his face, or even better: he wanted Eren to knock him the fuck out whilst he just sat back and watched. The brat was much stronger than he was, all muscled and... damn it no! Stop thinking about Eren at a time like this! 

“You’ve got to see it from my perspective, Ackerman. It looks a little suspicious.” 

“Sir, I...”

“From where I’m sitting, Ackerman, it looks like you forged those marks for Jaeger so you could take your new squeeze on a romantic getaway. No student was going to get perfect marks like he did, to me it seems obvious that what Annie Leonheardt has told me is the truth, but I’m a fair man.” 

Fair man? Hardly! Reiss was the kind of ass-wipe that would accept the girl’s stupid bribe in the first place! That bastard, now Levi was backed into a corner. 

“I’ll give you a chance to explain yourself.” The bastard looked particularly happy with that little comment. What? Did he expect Levi to beg him? To praise the almighty Rod Reiss for giving him a chance to reason with him? Not a fucking chance! Ugh! The fact that Levi knew that he would have to plead his case to this dick-head pained him, but he was going to do it his own way.

Levi could feel his heart pounding against his ribcage so rapidly that he thought it may be bruising. What the fuck was he going to do now? This was the worst case scenario! Not only was he in danger of losing his job, not only was his relationship with Eren at risk of being discovered, but his boss had it all wrong! Of course Levi would never forge grades for any of his students, and now that Reiss suspected him of this it was worse than he could have imagined! Not only could he be shamed for having sex with his own student, but his reputation would be tarnished even further if people believed that he would mess with Eren’s grades just for sex! 

No, no it was all going to be ok. He thought about the plan, Eren’s plan. It was a damn good lie that the brat had told and all Levi had to do was stick to it. He couldn’t let this asshole hold any more power over him, he was going to fight this battle and win. 

“Sir, just hear me out.” Levi began, he leant forward, strands of hair still matted from the roughness of Eren’s fingers fell in front of his pale face. His gaze was magnetic, and even an arrogant asshole like Rod Reiss was under his spell, giving the professor his full attention. “That girl dislikes me, that fact is true, but what you don’t seem to understand is: more than anything she hates Eren Jaeger.” Levi watched for a change in Rod’s expression, but nothing came. He still looked as unimpressed as ever. 

Levi continued, determined to convince his boss. “It’s just some dumb, childish bullshit really. Annie liked Eren, he led her on a little then he ditched her for another girl. She’s just making up rumours to get back at the boy who rejected her, and get the teacher she hates in trouble too.” 

Rod sighed, he brought a large hand up to his face, wiping away his smug expression and leaving one of frustration behind instead. 

“It’s all well and good to play this game of ‘he-said-she-said’ but it’s a little more serious than that. Leonheardt claims that Jaeger assaulted her, threatened her too. The girl has moved onto another course for pete’s sake! She wouldn’t go through all of that trouble if she wasn’t worried about something.” 

Annie had moved courses? Shit, this was bad. 

“What?” Levi snapped, “I don’t know anything about that. The two got into an argument at the conference and the girl ran off crying, but that has nothing to do with...”

“Ackerman,” Rod interrupted with a stern voice that made Levi sink down into his chair. “She says that Eren threatened her because she saw the two of you together, not only that but we have some... circumstantial evidence against you.” 

“Evidence?” Levi could hear his heartbeat in his ears, he could feel his face heating up to boiling point. What could they possibly have on him? “That’s not possible, because what you’re accusing me of didn’t happen!” 

“I thought nothing of it when I first heard,” Rod spoke so nonchalantly, taking a swig from his mug of coffee as if he didn’t have Levi on the literal edge of his seat. “It was just a little bit of staff-room banter, I didn’t even believe it at first.” 

What, WHAT!? Believe what? What the fuck was this asshole talking about? 

“Heard what?” 

“Professor Smith was gossiping with Professor Pixis when I overheard him say that he heard some... rather unsavoury noises coming from your hotel room at night.” 

Shit! Levi could feel his anxiety prickling and burning at his skin, as if he’d just been tossed into a field of stinging nettles. 

“Of course, at first it didn’t really concern me. Smith obviously thought that you’d simply met someone at the hotel and decided to enjoy a night of ... promiscuity.” The judgement was prevalent in his tone, and that pissed Levi off even more. “Obviously I assumed the same thing before miss Leonheardt informed me of what she saw at the conference. Then it dawned on me, it was Eren wasn’t it? The person that you spent the night with. Honestly Levi this is low, even for you.” 

Levi was practically seething by this point. How dare he? How dare that fat, lazy, smug piece of shit talk down to him like this!? That grade-A asshole was going to get a piece of his damn mind. He may have been correct, for the most part, but god damn it Levi was not the sort of man who would take such blatant disrespect without a fight. 

His voice jarred out through his lips with turbulence. His eyes burned with the rage that was laying dormant in his gut and he was just about ready to supernova. 

“Listen here you fuc....” 

Just as Levi was about to unleash the fury of seven hells upon his unsuspecting boss, he was interrupted by a heavy knock against the door. He swung around dramatically, hoping, praying that whoever was on the other side hadn’t heard too much of their conversation. The door creaked as it opened, and on the other side... wait, what? 

Those dazzling, green eyes. Those perfectly sculpted arms that clung to his t-shirt. What the fuck was Eren doing here? Oh no, did Rod call him here too? 

“Ahhh,” Rod gave the boy a forced smile, and Eren gave him one right back. “Jaeger, please take a seat.” 

Eren took a seat by his love’s side obediently, giving Levi a sweet smile. Levi gulped worriedly, the brat didn’t have to look so damn happy to see him at a time like this! 

“You wanted to see me, sir?” Eren asked innocently. Levi glanced over at him, and couldn’t help but be shocked by the expression on the boy’s face. It was truly pure, as if all of the devilish lust and coy flirtation that Levi was so used to had been wiped away. That fact alone filled Levi with a little more confidence. After all, Eren was a great liar, from his body language to his honeyed words. 

“Oh,” Rod coughed. Levi watched as his boss analysed his young lover, and every moment that his wretched eyes wandered over the boy’s perfect frame was another moment closer to Levi punching him right in his face. “I’ll get straight to the point, Eren.” 

Eren looked back at him, face like a fucking angel. 

“Your former classmate has informed me that yourself and professor Ackerman have been engaging in some... rather unprofessional activities.” 

“Unprofessional?” Eren said, cocking his head to the side and staring up at the ceiling as if he were deep in thought. “If this is about the wine that I drank with professor Ackerman at the conference then I’m really sorry! I promise I didn’t even have that much, and I’m over the legal drinking age so I thought that it would be ok...” 

“No, no” Rod was staring back at Eren with a look of confusion etched into his face. “Eren, Annie has accused you and professor Ackerman of engaging in a... sexual relationship with one another. Of course that kind of behaviour would result in both yourself and the professor being told that you're no longer welcome here at Sakura.” 

“I...” Eren sounded genuinely shocked, and Levi watched as his pale face reddened. He looked convincing enough, Levi thought. “Oh my goodness, professor Ackerman...” Eren turned to look at his love with a knowing look in his eyes. “I’m so, so sorry! She really has gone too far this time!” 

“Jaeger, please explain,” Reiss looked almost impatient, but none the less, intrigued. 

“I’m sorry sir,” Eren bowed his head in apology, clasping both hands together on the desk in front of him and gazing deep into Reiss’s eyes with that hypnotic stare. “The truth is that Annie was almost my girlfriend until I fell in love with another girl. Ever since I left her she’s been making my life difficult, but I never thought that she’d go this far.” 

“Hmm,” Rod was surprised, for some reason he was completely unable to drag his eyes away from the boy. It was as if he were paralysed by those eyes, and in that moment he suddenly understood Annie Leonheardt’s infatuation with the boy. From a ladies perspective, he was very handsome. “I understand what you’re saying Eren, but it’s become a little more complicated than just that. Annie has accused you of threatening her, too.” 

“I see,” Eren hung his head, and Levi swore that his heart sunk at the sight of the boy’s sad face. He cursed himself silently, urging himself to pull himself together. He was falling for the boy’s damn act, even knowing that it was completely false! “I’m not sure what I can do to make this right, but I’m so sorry that the professor has been dragged into this madness too.’ 

Eren turned to face Levi, supressing the usual smile that he wore when he got to look upon his love’s face. 

“I’m very sorry, professor. I didn’t mean for my relationship drama to cause you any trouble.” 

Levi was almost speechless, how the fuck was this kid such a good liar? 

“It’s alright Eren,” he managed to speak, somehow. “It’s not your fault, it’s just best for us both if we can get this straightened out.” 

“Of course.” 

The clink of the boss’s coffee mug against the table interrupted the lovers’s connection, and Levi and Eren watched as his eyes drifted from student to teacher and back again. He looked to be deep in thought, and Levi didn’t like that, not one bit. 

“Maybe we could gain a little clarity if we talked to this new girlfriend of yours, Eren,” he told him. Levi could feel his fingers begin to tremble. Fuck! This was BAD. Eren didn’t really have a girlfriend! “What’s her name? Maybe I can ask her a few questions myself.’ 

Levi was rigid as he awaited Eren’s response. It was torturous, the uncertainty, the suspense. Eren had been somewhat of a miracle worker so far, but how would he get himself out of this one? 

“I wouldn’t want you to worry her,” Eren blurted out. He sounded a little desperate, and Levi was worried that he might lose his cool. “She means a lot to me, and I don’t want her to be upset over some drama with another girl.” 

Something akin to a snort came from Rod Reiss, and he leant back in his chair smugly. “I’m afraid I have to insist, Eren.” 

“I see,” Levi could have cut the tension in the room with a knife. Eren and Rod were deadlocked, staring each other down as if they were rivals. God knew what the fuck Eren was going to say next, but for some reason Levi trusted him. 

“Her name is... Historia.” 

Both older men gasped audibly. Not only had Eren found a temporary fix for their problem, but the mention of the girl’s name had Rod Reiss gazing back at Eren like a moron. 

“Historia...” The girl’s name left Rod’s lips like a sweet melody. “Historia from your class?” 

“Yes,” Eren said confidently. “She’s a very kind girl, and a little timid, so I’d appreciate it if you tried to be gentle with your line of questioning toward her, please.” 

Levi couldn’t seem to tear his eyes away from his boss. Why the fuck was he making such a weird expression? 

“Eren,” Rod said, and all of a sudden he broke out into the widest smile. Eren and Levi were both a little taken aback, and entirely confused. “I don’t know if you know this, but Historia is my daughter.” 

“Your... what? Really?” 

“Yes,” he spoke confidently, and Eren could practically feel the pride in his voice when he spoke about Historia. “The girl told me that she was getting on well with a boy in her class, but she refused to tell me who it was. I noticed that she’d been making an extra effort with her appearance since around the time that you got back from England but... I didn’t put two and two together.” 

Levi was in a state of utter shock. Once again, Eren had done it. 

“You’re the boy that my little girl has been so crazy about!” 

It was insane how all of a sudden Rod’s entire demeanour had changed. Right now he was all smiles and cheer, sticking out a large hand for Eren to shake. He clearly valued his daughter’s happiness over all else. At least he had one admirable trait. 

“Oh! You’re Historia’s father, I had no idea!” Eren chirped, meeting Rod’s hand in the middle of the desk for a strong, firm shake. “I’m so sorry to have to met you under these circumstances, but it’s still lovely to meet you all the same!” 

“Right back at ya!” 

What. The. Fuck. 

Levi was in a state of utter disbelief. Not only had Eren managed to talk his way out of the situation, but now Rod Reiss, the most arrogant man in the department, was shaking his hand and grinning from ear to ear. This was ridiculous! Levi had no idea that Historia was Rod Reiss’s own daughter! He wondered if Eren knew, but right now that didn’t really matter. 

Was this really all that it took to get them off the hook? Levi was skeptical, but right now he wasn’t complaining. Once again Eren had pulled him out of an incredibly undesirable situation, but as great as this all seemed, there was still a blaring flaw that had not yet been addressed. 

Historia was not Eren’s girlfriend. 

By the sound of things the girl was head over heels for the guy. Realistically, all it would take was for Eren to ask her out for real. Simple, easy-peasy, perfect... right? But Levi could feel something bubbling up within him that he hadn’t felt in a long, long time. 

Fuck, was this... jealousy? 

Shit, it was! For some reason the thought of Eren walking around campus hand in hand with that sweet girl made his stomach churn. It awakened a monster inside him that made him want to take his student and bundle him up safe and sound in his bed where nobody else could ever get to him. The thought of that damn girl kissing Eren’s sinful lips made him want to scream, the thought of Eren gazing at her with that damn sexy look in his eyes made him want to punch a hole in the wall! 

What was this? Levi was just spending time with Eren for sex, right? Maybe if he put his time and attention into that girl then Eren would finally leave him alone! That’s what he wanted... or at least, it was before. Having Eren out of his hair should be a good thing, it should be a great relief for him! 

But then why? Why all of a sudden was it not?


	23. Untouchable

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I'm sorry that this chapter is so short, but it didn't really need any more words and I didn't wait to drag it out :)

Eren left the office with a smile on his face, accepting the millionth apology from Rod Reiss with grace. He wasn’t sure exactly what Historia had told her father to make the man so warm towards him, but whatever she’d done it had worked tremendously in his favour. 

All at once the allegations against him and his love were dropped like a penny into a well, being swallowed up by the abyss of lies that he’d spun.

Historia’s friendship had worked like a charm, but the excuse that he’d given had a time limit. Right now he was scrambling against the grains in the top of a sand timer, and he needed to move quickly or he’d be swallowed whole. 

He had to make Historia his girlfriend, and he needed to do it now, before she spoke to her father again. There was no time to waste.

Hurriedly he pulled his phone out of his pocket, tapping out a quick message to his friend. 

Eren <3: Historia, meet me in the university gardens by the fountain. Now please, it’s important. 

Ok, that should do. He sounded urgent enough, and he knew that Historia would come running the moment that his name flashed up on her screen. A moment passed, and each second felt like an eternity. Of course however, the girl replied in record time. 

Historia: Sure! I’ll B 10 mins xxx

Eren practically sprinted to the university gardens. He couldn’t think of a more romantic spot. The golden sunlight shone through the patchy clouds, resting on the jetting water of the fountain and casting glorious rainbows down onto the stone floor. The sweet, floral scent of roses hung in the air from the surrounding bushes, dotting the scenery with red and white petals. It was beautiful, truly stunning, and Eren wanted nothing more than to have Levi here by his side. 

It pained him, shook him right down to his core to know that he had to declare his love to another right here in this very spot. Historia was lovely, but she didn’t even cast a light shadow on the glowing perfection that was Levi’s aura. He drew in a deep breath, closing his eyes and letting pictures of Levi’s face cloud his mind like a thick fog. 

He didn’t love Historia, he was doing this for his real love. With the girl as his ruse, he would be able to see his love more freely, be able to completely decimate any rumour that could spread about the two of them being together. Annie wouldn’t stand a chance of being believed, and the girl would give up in due time if she was smart. With Rod and Historia Reiss on his side, he and Levi would be safe, free to be together in secret until the day that Eren left the university. 

It was all going to be ok. All that Eren had to do was turn on his charm, and more than anything else he knew that he excelled in that department. 

It was only a matter of moments before Historia arrived, gliding in from around the foliage like an angel. Her petite frame was wrapped in a flowing, white dress that floated gracefully in the gentle breeze. Soft, blonde strands of hair fell from her ponytail and rested on her heart-shaped face. Truly, the girl was a vision to behold. 

She was going to make somebody very happy one day, but Eren didn’t care about that. There was no harm in borrowing her for now, right? 

“Eren,” her voice was melodic, ringing through the cool air like a harp as she approached the boy with a tender smile on her lips. “I came as quickly as I could, is everything ok?” 

Eren gazed at her with wide eyes that glistened in the sunlight, and Historia could feel the butterflies in her gut awaken. “You look beautiful,” he breathed, immediately falsifying his demeanour as if he were flustered, and shy. “I... I mean... Sorry. You just took me by surprise.” 

The girl’s pretty face flushed a deep shade of red, and she looked down at her tiny feet in a timid fashion. “Oh, really?” Her voice broke as she spoke, and Eren could practically taste the level of embarrassment radiating from her. “I changed when I got home, I was just hanging out with Ymir when I got your text.”

“You were?” Shit! Ymir had an obvious crush on Historia! If Eren hadn’t have moved quickly, then she could’ve snatched the girl right from his fingertips. He was lucky that she’d dropped Ymir so easily to come and see him. That meant that he was still her priority. “I’m so sorry, I didn’t mean to interrupt your time with your friend!” 

“No! It’s ok!” The girl’s voice was shrill, almost desperate. Eren knew the feeling all too well. “Honestly, I’d rather spend time with you anyway.” She gasped at her own admission, blush deepening even further. “I mean... you said it was important, right?” 

This was it, it was now or never. 

“Yes, it is.” Eren grasped Historia’s hand in his own, and watched as the girl’s glistening, blue eyes widened in shock at his forwardness. Her arm went rigid, and he could feel the girl’s slim fingers trembling in his hand as she gazed at him in awe. “I’ve been doing a lot of thinking, especially whilst I was away in England.” Eren began to stroke her palm with his thumb gently, slowly, just enough to cause friction. “And I’ll admit, I missed you, more than I’ve ever missed anybody before.” 

“E-Eren.. I missed you too...” 

“It made made realise, I think that I have feelings for you.” Historia let out something akin to a squeak as she looked up at him. He looked so handsome, sunlight shining down onto him, rainbows from the fountain being cast onto his face. Thick strands of dark hair fell over his dazzling eyes and Historia could feel herself melting into the moment. “I understand if you don’t feel the same way,” Eren told her, “but I had to tell you how I felt, and ask if maybe you’d consider... being my girlfriend.” 

“Yes!” The answer left her lips the moment that Eren spoke his final word. Eren smiled, and this time it was genuine. The look on her face was priceless, it was as if she’d just won the damn lottery! Eren couldn’t help but congratulate himself in being able to elicit such a look from the girl. This was going perfectly, all according to his plan. 

“Yes?” Eren sputtered, faking his most convincing, surprised expression. “Really? You mean it?” 

“Of course I do!” Historia beamed up at him, moving her hand around to lace her fingers through his own. “I had no idea that you felt the same way... I mean I kind of hoped that you did... but I didn’t think that you’d really...”

All of a sudden she was cut off completely as Eren’s sweet lips pressed up against her own tenderly. In that moment, her head exploded into a cornucopia of rainbows and flowers and sweet sugar and she lost herself in the sensation that she’d dreamed about for so long. Eren was such an amazing boy, such a gentleman! She couldn’t believe that she was finally his. She couldn’t wait to show him off to the world! 

Eren pulled away in disgust. He knew that kissing another person would feel wrong, but he wasn’t prepared for just how unclean he would actually feel afterwards. There was no passion, no connection, simply the touching of skin against skin when their lips met. He knew that Levi wasn’t truly his yet, but it felt as if he'd betrayed his love somehow. His head was spinning, and he had to talk himself down in his head, reminding himself that he was doing this so he and Levi could be together. 

“Are you ok?” Historia questioned. Shit! She looked concerned. Eren cursed himself, he needed to be more convincing than this! “You’re kinda staring off into space there.” 

“Sorry,” Eren grinned, “I’ve just been waiting to do that for a long time. I guess I’m still a little surprised.” 

The girl couldn’t help but giggle at Eren’s timidness. He was truly wonderful! To think that all this time he had been holding back his true feelings just like she was. Historia gazed up at Eren’s handsome face, and she swore that the man of her dreams was looking back at her.

The two strolled through the university gardens for a short while, and Historia felt as if she were walking on a cloud. Her delicate hand felt so safe in Eren’s strong grasp, and she could feel the spring in her step as she paced. 

“Hey, Historia.” Eren looked down at her with a worried look on his face. “I met your father today, you never told me that he was the head of department.” 

“Oh, yeah sorry,” she could feel her face warming. “I don’t really like to mention it much because I feel like people might treat me differently. How did you meet?” 

“Well,” Eren sighed convincingly. He was getting good at lying, faking emotions, wrapping people around his finger. Some may call it manipulative, but Eren called it ‘being smart.’ “I guess I should admit this to you, before the trip to England I was sort of speaking to that girl, Annie Leonheardt...”

“Annie! Really?” 

“Don’t worry!” Eren told her calmly, giving her hand a little squeeze in his own. “It was nothing really, but she told me that she had feelings for me and I turned her down.” Eren noticed Historia smile smugly when he said that, it was strange, it reminded him of her father. “Since then she’s been trying to ruin my reputation, she’s been spreading malicious rumours about me and some of them even made it back to your father and the department. I was nearly expelled.” 

“Really?” Historia sounded shocked, curious, angry. “That’s awful!” 

“Thanks,” Eren smiled, “we managed to sort things out though and now your father and I are on good terms. So don’t you worry about Annie Leonheardt any more, I don’t ever want to speak to her again.” 

“That girl!” She spat venomously, “I swear if I ever hear her say a single bad word about you then I’ll give her a real piece of my mind! Don’t worry Eren, I’ve got your back!” 

Wow. This was almost too easy, this girl liked him so much that she hadn’t even questioned him. All Eren needed to do was keep her happy and she would follow him blindly, that much was evident. For a moment Eren almost felt bad for using her in such a way, but that moment passed the moment that he thought about his real love. With Historia and Rod Reiss behind him he was practically untouchable. This was going to open new doors for him and Levi, and he couldn’t wait to explore every avenue that he was given. 

The next time he saw Levi he was going to absolutely ravage him. He couldn’t wait. 

“Thank you, Historia.”

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Also thank you all so, so much for your comments and kudos. I love you all! <3


	24. Destroy Me

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> It's kinda NSFW sooo.......

This was wrong, all wrong. 

Sure, Levi was grateful to still have his job after the crap that he’d done. Lord knows he didn’t feel like he deserved it. However he couldn’t help but feel like the most evil shit in the world. 

Historia was a nice girl, a little annoying, sure, but still a good person all the same. She didn’t deserve to get played like this just so he could keep fucking his damn toy-boy. At least thats what he kept telling himself. He’d repeat it in his head like a mantra, hoping that if he thought about it hard enough he would actually start to care about the girl’s feelings. Obviously he knew that what they were doing here was wrong, but his emotions weren’t matching up with his thoughts and it was beginning to make him question his own morals.

Maybe he really was a bad person. After all, he was pulling the wool over the eyes of every other person in his life just to get more of Eren. The damn boy was on his mind all the time, stopping his trains of thought, making him stutter and blush at the most inopportune moments imaginable. It was beginning to become a real hinderance on his life, but he couldn’t stop. He’d come too far now, been through too much. He was determined to enjoy the sweet fruits of his labour if it fucking killed him. 

Levi brought a hand up to his face, closing his eyes and letting out a deep sigh as the first year students began to filter out of his classroom one by one. Of course, he expected that Eren would be waiting for him after class, he so often did. Today however he’d been trying not to look in his direction at all. 

He knew that when his gaze fell onto that perfectly shaped body, that consistently smirking face, he would be nothing more than a puddle on the ground, desperately trying to remould himself back into the proud man that he had once been.

That being said, Eren sure was eye candy. He supposed that one little look wouldn’t hurt too much...

Levi looked up at the boy at the worst time. Historia was smiling up at him, squeezing his hand as she said her goodbyes to her new boyfriend. The professor’s stomach tied itself in knots, and a bitter feeling washed over his body. He hated this. He could barely stand the fact that seeing Historia and Eren together sent him into a downward spiral of negativity. He tried to tell himself that it was purely because he pitied the girl, but he couldn’t lie to himself. 

Levi didn’t care about Historia, he was jealous of her. 

He let out another sigh, rolling his eyes and cursing to himself under his breath. The fact that he was jealous of a little girl made him feel absolutely pathetic. Especially considering the fact that he didn’t even want a relationship with the damn brat! It was so stupid! In the midst of all of the sex and the drama Levi couldn’t deny the fact that he’d grown frustratingly attached to the boy. 

The fact that he had already thrown imaginary versions of Historia into the garbage in his mind multiple times now proved that fact. 

He’d started noticing how beautifully crafted her features were. She had the prettiest blue eyes, the most womanly, slender figure. She was so petite that she rivalled even Levi, and he knew that Eren was incredibly attracted to his stature. What if Historia was able to take every feature that Eren found attractive in Levi, and pull it off better than he ever had?

What if Eren went off him? What if he realised that Levi was just a boring, middle-aged guy with nothing special about him? What if he got drunk one night and made love to her in the heat of passion and suddenly he wasn’t so interested in his old professor any longer? He’d come into Levi’s life like a damn hurricane, completely turned his world upside down, made him feel things that he’d never felt before. What if after all of the drama that he’d caused he dropped Levi and left him to piece himself back together in the colossal mess that he’d caused.

Idiot! Moron! Eren was going to pay for making him feel this way. He hadn’t intended to catch feelings, but now that they were there Levi felt like a prisoner in his own mind. He couldn’t even trust himself any more. Eren may have initiated their relationship, but Levi had let it happen. Still, he refused to believe that he could ever love the dumb kid, even though there was something about him that Levi wasn’t ready to give up just yet. 

If he thought about his current life, but without Eren in it, he could feel his heart drop, and that scared him. 

Levi looked up to the top of the stairs to see the tall, dark haired girl who was waiting for Historia with her arms folder across her chest. He was sure that he remembered her... oh yes, of course! The girl he’d met at the drinks with the department event. Ymir, wasn’t it? Her face was twisted into a sour expression and she looked as if she was going to throw up as she watched Eren and Historia say their goodbyes to each other. 

Levi understood, he shared in her discomfort wholeheartedly. 

The last few students hurried up the stairs, and it wasn’t long before Eren was the only student left in the room, staring at Levi with those damn hypnotic eyes. Levi huffed, turning away from him in frustration with a hand on his hip. 

Maybe he was better off with that prissy little girl after all. Maybe it would be better to shield himself for now, that way he couldn’t get his ego bruised. 

“What do you want, brat?” 

His sulky outburst was met by a lighthearted giggle, and before he knew it a strong pair of arms were wrapped around his shoulders, and Eren’s nose was buried in his hair, taking in the sweet scent. 

“Do you know how much it turns me on when you’re all sulky like this?” Eren bent down to breathe into his ear, and an electric current shot up Levi’s spine. “Go on, resist me. I like a challenge.” 

Fuck. Levi had been lusting after Eren for so long, doing things to himself that made him feel ashamed afterwards. Now that the boy had him wrapped up in his arms it was difficult to resist him. His sleek, long hair tickled at the skin on Levi’s neck, and he couldn’t stop himself from leaning back into his copious amounts of warmth. 

“Tch,” Levi huffed, throwing his head to the side, letting his line of vision fall as far away from the boy as he possibly could. “Do what you want, but make it quick. I have another class in an hour.” 

Levi could feel Eren’s posture go rigid, and before he knew it he was being spun round to meet the boy’s frowning face. Damn he looked good, he always did. 

“That’s no fun,” he pouted, stroking his hand across Levi’s soft cheek and lifting his face with a gentle finger under the chin. Still, Levi wouldn’t meet his gaze. That only made Eren more determined. “What’s wrong?” 

“Nothing’s wrong,” Levi lied. He could smell Eren’s musky cologne, and he wanted nothing more than to lean in and nuzzle his face into the boy’s sculpted chest. That wasn’t going to happen though. Eren may have been his achilles heel, but he was still strong enough not to go down that easily.

Eren wasn’t stupid, he could read his love better than anyone and he knew that something was off. Levi was making no job of hiding it. This wasn’t his usual level of cute, sexy, staged annoyance. Something was playing on his mind, something was actually bothering him. 

“Come on Levi, I’ve missed you so much,” Eren purred. He really had, it had been utter hell not being able to touch him for so long. Even though it had only been twenty-six hours and ... he looked at the clock... seven minutes: that was twenty-six hours and seven minutes too long. 

“Piss off.” 

“You’re such a fucking tease, I love it.” Eren was determined to draw the reason for his love’s annoyance out of him, and he couldn’t hold himself back any longer. He’d been so, so painfully turned on, all throughout the lecture. He’d watched as his professor explained complex theories like it was child’s-play. He’d gazed in awe as his lips wrapped around the neck of his water bottle, letting his mind drift into daydreams of what they would look like wrapped around his hard cock. Levi looked so damn delicious, he wanted to taste his love, he wanted his love to taste him, he craved him. 

“Look at you,” Eren threaded his hand through Levi’s hair, pulling him in close. The professor used both of his hands against Eren’s strong chest to steady himself, and he could feel his face heating up at the sensation of the muscles on his palms. “Standing there looking so damn fine.” 

“Shut... shut up...” There he was again, stumbling over his words in such a pathetic fashion that it made him want to throw himself into the bin with all of his imaginary versions of Historia.

“Watching you today in those damn tight trousers made me so, so hot.” Levi hated the fact that his blood was rushing down south at an alarming rate. Shit, Eren really knew how to push his buttons, that damn brat. “Y’know,” he pulled Levi in closer so their bodies were pressed up against one another, and Levi’s eyes widened at what he felt against his abs. 

“I’ve got a boner that could fucking destroy you right now.” 

Fuuuuuuck. That was hot. 

The professor could feel his body begin to betray him once again, and for a moment he was happy about it. If his lust could overpower his emotions then it meant that his feelings for the boy weren’t as prominent as he once thought, and that was a fucking relief. However, as he melted into Eren’s protective embrace the sudden image of Eren holding Historia like this flashed into his mind, and he found himself jumping backwards on instinct. 

Damn it, he urged himself to pull himself together and calm the fuck down. Eren was only dating that girl so he could keep fucking Levi anyway. The professor growled, low and turbulent from the back of his throat as he clenched his teeth and asked himself why he was being such a little bitch about it.

“Hey, Levi,” Eren’s face was suddenly washed with concern. “What’s gotten into you?” 

The professor looked back at him with fire in his eyes. “Why don’t you go and share that damn boner with your new girlfriend, huh?” He knew that he was acting like a child, but he didn’t care. “I’m not interested any more.” He lied.

Levi wasn’t sure how Eren was going to react, but when he saw the boy’s face twist into an overly amused grin he couldn’t help but snap back at him. What the fuck did he think he was doing? Finding humour in his misery! That fucking brat! 

“What the fuck is so funny!?” Levi cried, balling his tiny hands in to fists and snarling up at Eren, seething with rage. 

The boy looked completely dumbfounded, and so happy that Levi was tempted to slap that stupid look right off his face. 

“Seriously!” He spat, “wipe that fucking look off your face before I do it for you!” 

All Eren could muster up was a quiet, “holy shit,” through his maniacally grinning lips. He couldn’t believe it. “Levi,” he breathed, taking his love into his arms and pressing his lips against his professor’s in a moment of pure, unbridled passion. Levi didn’t kiss him back, but he didn’t resist either. “This is amazing, you’re jealous aren’t you?” 

“What? N-no way!” 

The look of embarrassment on Levi’s angelic face was priceless, and Eren took a mental screen-shot that he would keep with him until the day he died. He was in utter disbelief. His love was actually jealous, because of him! Eren felt jubilant, and he beamed at his professor with so much admiration welling in his eyes that he thought that they might pop out from his skull. 

If Levi was jealous of Historia, that must mean that he wanted to be in her situation, right? Levi wanted Eren all to himself, and Eren couldn’t get enough off the addictive feeling of pure joy that washed over him.

“Holy fuck,” Eren delved back down, tasting Levi’s soft lips once again. “You really must... wow... I can’t... fuck...” 

The moment that Eren’s lips had hit his own Levi was under his spell, and he let the boy kiss him hungrily, over and over. At least with his face so close Eren wouldn’t be able to see the humiliation in his expression, or the pink blush that stained his cheeks. 

Eren continued kissing his love, each taste of his lips sweeter than the last. Did Levi even know how perfect he was? There was no way that he could know, right? If he did then it would have been impossible for him to be jealous of somebody as bland as Historia. Not that Eren thought any less of Historia than any other regular person. Everyone in the world was bland and listless when compared to his angel.

Eren felt Levi’s lips begin to shake and he wanted more, more, there was nothing in this world that could make him stop now. Sculpted arms slid underneath Levi’s slim legs, lifting him up until his perky ass hit the hard wood of his own desk. 

“Hey!” Levi panted, “cut it out! We’re gonna get caught if you carry on like this.” 

At this point Eren hardly cared. There wasn’t another class in this room for an entire hour, and he wanted Levi so badly that it hurt. This was what he'd been waiting for, for all these years. His love finally had feelings for him! After all this time Levi was becoming possessive, just like a real lover should be. Eren knew that Levi would be in love with him soon, he just knew it! 

“I fucking love you,” he growled, holding Levi in place with a large hand under his head as he tilted him back, allowing his tongue access to the man’s soft neck. He dragged his rough, wet tongue up the entire length of it, taking in his hypnotic scent and drawing a delicious grunt from the back of Levi’s throat. “You don’t need to be jealous, you’re the only thing in this world that I’ll ever love.” 

“I’m n-not...” Levi was cut off by his own audible gasp when Eren’s free hand slid teasingly over the thin fabric that covered his hardening length. “N-not jealous... you fucking moron.” 

It was so damn adorable when Levi got defensive like this. He was a terrible liar, he always had been. “Listen to me.” Eren’s nimble fingers popped the button of Levi’s trousers open, and his warm hand found its way down under two layers of fabric until he had Levi’s hard cock in his palm. All the while the professor simply stared up and him, speechless and wanting. “I’ll never share a moment like this with anybody else. Let me show you how much you mean to me by doing things that only you’ll ever experience.”

Then with those words their kissing became deeper, more animalistic. Their mouths were open and panting heavily, and curious hands explored each other’s bodies, Eren’s working up and down Levi’s shaft slowly. The spark that had been so rudely put out before by Rod Reiss’s phone call re-ignited in an instant, and before either of them had time to think they were rutting up against each other like rabid dogs. 

“Eren,” Levi managed as he gasped for breath after a wet, hot kiss. “We can’t do this right here on my fucking desk.” 

Damn it. Eren was so damn worked up that he wasn’t sure if he could really stop himself, but he knew that he had to be smarter this time. Both of them had gone through a lot to get themselves to this point. They couldn’t sacrifice anything more, getting caught now would end in complete and utter disaster. He took a deep breath, calling on all of his strength so he could last just a little while longer.

“Do ya think that storage cupboard will be free again?” Eren asked, giving his love a devilish smirk as his eager hand teased at the tip of his love’s length. He could see Levi’s lip trembling as he tried so obviously to keep his composure, and it drove Eren completely and utterly wild. 

Levi sighed, albeit it was a damn shaky one. The storage cupboard was hardly ideal, but it would have to do. He was willing to give the cupboard a second chance if it meant that he’d get to feel Eren filling him up again. It hadn’t been long since the first time that they’d fucked in England, but Levi hadn’t been able to stop thinking about it. He wanted Eren right now, and there was no time to waste. He could feel the boy’s long, hard length pressing against his thigh and he knew just how good it felt pounding against his prostate.

“Let’s go,” Levi whined. He grasped at the scruff of Eren’s shirt, pulling him in close so their noses were touching, and Eren could smell the coffee on his professor’s breath. “You’d better make good on your promise, Jaeger.” He smirked up at Eren in a haze of pure lust, and the boy could feel his heart skip a beat. “Fucking destroy me.”


	25. Coming out of the Closet

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> WORK this chapter is NOT SAFE for it

The storage cupboard was situated in the corridor outside the lecture room. It was small, and dark, and utterly secluded. Even the janitor barely used it; in fact the last time that anybody had been in there was when Eren and Levi had previously found themselves in the throws of passion. 

It was hardly a romantic setting, but Levi felt safe in there. All they needed to do was stay relatively quiet and they wouldn’t be discovered. 

That however, was easier said than done for Levi when Eren’s skilled fingers were already deep inside him, stretching him out. 

The boy had his professor bent over the cluttered desk, trousers round his ankles, whimpering like a whore as Eren scissored his fingers inside his tight hole. He knew exactly where his love’s sweet spot was, and he’d brush past it teasingly every now and again just to hear the noise that Levi would try, and fail, to choke back. 

“Shhhh love,” Eren hushed, slowing his movements just a little. “You need to be more quiet.” 

Levi scowled back at him in disbelief, giving the boy a display of his lustful, flushed face that sent Eren into a state of awe. “You little fucking... ahhh!” Eren’s long fingers found his G-spot once again, and the professor had to bite down on his tongue to stop another involuntary moan from spilling out. The fucking nerve of this kid! Telling him to be quiet when it was his damn fault that Levi was being loud in the first place! Hushing him whilst his fingers were so deep inside him that he was almost seeing stars. 

His fingers moved so smoothly as his hole was slicked up with a copious mixture of lube and Eren’s saliva, and every thrust of the boy’s skilled fingers into him made him crave more and more. He couldn’t quite believe how quickly he’d switched from jealous and frustrated to horny and desperate, but it was a welcome change. He’d thought about doing this for too long, and the thoughts lead to actions that made him ashamed to look upon the boys face the next day. 

He’d had to convince himself multiple times that it wasn’t weird that he’d named his dildo ‘Eren’. That it didn’t mean anything when he’d let the boy’s name fall in a soft moan from his lips at the point of climax alone in his room. That it was completely normal to search for pornography that displayed student/teacher relationships. 

After all of the lusting and the fantasising it was almost overwhelming to have Eren towering over him right now. There was nothing in this world that he wanted more than to feel Eren’s huge cock filling him up. 

“Eren,” Levi breathed out his name like he was the only man in the world, reaching backwards to grasp the boy’s arm with his fragile hand. He gazed up at Eren’s face and thought that he’d died and gone to heaven. His white teeth were biting down on his bottom lip as if he were trying to hold himself back. His eyes were as wild as his hair, and the look in them told Levi that he was his prey. “I’m ready for you now, fuck me.” 

“You sure?” Eren asked cautiously. He’d already been teasing Levi, warming him up for at least ten minutes with his fingers and even his tongue, but he didn’t want to fuck his love until he was definitely ready. 

The professor growled up at him impatiently, baring his teeth like an animal. “Did I fucking stutter?” 

Eren could feel his cock twitch at the demand. He’d been holding himself back for too long, his rock hard length pushing against his jeans uncomfortably. Usually he would toy with Levi for a while, tease him, flirt with him until he was begging for his cock, but Eren was too ravenous to deny him what he wanted right now. 

“Yes, professor.” He purred, fumbling with his button, ragging down his zipper and pushing his jeans down as far as he could get them. When his erection finally sprang free it was hit by the the coolness of the icy air, which was surprisingly refreshing. He looked down at it, the head was coated with shining pre-come, still leaking it from the tip like a needy slut. 

Letting his eyes wander over Levi’s body was such a treat for him. It was as if everything went in slow motion, as if his love’s body was surrounded by an angelic haze that clouded everything around him. He was so slender and small. His skin was pale and smooth and his ass was so damn grabbable, so damn fuckable! 

“I swear to god if you make me wait another second I’ll fail you in syntax class!” Levi threatened, earning himself a sly chuckle from his lover. 

“Great,” Eren teased, lining the tip of his dick against Levi’s tight entrance. Just the sensation of his wet skin alone made Eren groan in anticipation. “That means I’d get to spend another year as your student.” 

“Tch,” Levi huffed, pushing himself backwards against the throbbing member that threatened to enter him. He could feel the wet warmth of the head touch his skin and it sent him into overdrive. His knees began to shake, his heart pounding heavily. He was so close to shouting at his student for taking such a long time, but then he felt the sweet burn of the stretch as the tip of Eren’s cock began to open him up. 

The two groaned quietly in unison at the new sensations that racked their bodies, and it was a miracle that they were able to keep their volume to a minimum with how hungry they both were for each other. 

“Fuck, Levi,” Eren practically growled, his lip trembling at the feeling of Levi’s tight heat swallowing him up. The professor must have been damn turned on, because his length slid in more easily this time. There were no nerves, no hesitation from either of them. Levi pushed his ass back against the shaft, taking in as much as he could. Damn, there really was no end to amount of times that Levi impressed Eren. He was so damn perfect that it hurt. “You’re taking it so damn well,” he praised.

Levi felt his heart flutter at the comment, “I can take more.” He looked back at his student as if he were challenging him, the smirk on his angelic face told the entire story and Eren was more than pleased to take him on. 

“Hmm,” Eren brought his hand around to Levi’s front, brushing past his slim thighs and landing on his hard shaft. The professor gasped loudly as Eren rubbed his thumb over the sensitive tip, pushing himself in a little further at the same time until... 

“Ahh! Fuck, yes!” 

Eren pushed up against Levi’s G-spot, gently, but enough to make his knees buckle. He drew in a shaky breath as he steadied himself again, revelling in the sensation of Eren gathering up his pre-come, using it to slick the movements of his hand as he moved it up and down. 

“Let’s see how much you can take before I tip you over the edge,” Eren smirked down at him, grasping at the longer part of his love’s hair and pulling him up so his back arched, and his cheeks clenched tightly around Eren’s cock. Levi whined pathetically, trying not to let his pleasure at having his hair pulled show too much. “Do you still want me to destroy you, my love?” 

Levi shuddered as he felt the boy’s hot breath on his neck, he wanted to come so badly, he wanted to feel Eren shoot his load so deep inside him that he’d be feeling it for days afterwards. 

“Hell yes.” Levi panted, clenching himself teasingly around Eren as he rutted inside him messily. “And I’m n-not... your love!” 

Eren frowned, tightening his grip on Levi’s hair and almost melting at the sound of the delicious whine that Levi let out in response. “What was that?” Eren demanded, leaning down until Levi’s raven hair brushed against his cheek. He bit down on the professor’s ear lobe gently, speaking into his ear with a low, smooth voice. “I couldn’t quite hear you.” 

Fuck! The kid was so damn frustrating. Why did he always have to act like this? Why did he always have to speak like this when he was eight inches deep in Levi’s ass, brushing up against his prostate rhythmically as Levi took the length of him, shaking limply like a rag doll. 

“I said... I-I’m... fuck...” The boy was a damn tease and he knew it. The pauses that he left for Levi to speak were always filled with harder, quicker thrusts that drove Levi crazy. The stroke of his large hand got faster, and Levi could feel himself nearing his breaking point. Hints of pleasure were beginning to wash over him, wave by wave they built up, threatening to consume him entirely. 

Eren wasn’t doing much better himself. The feeling of Levi’s ass clenching so tightly around him was driving him crazy! He found that his thrusts were becoming messier, quicker, hungrier. Looking down at the work of art that was his love only drove him closer to his climax. The sight of Levi trembling and wanting below him awakened his inner demon and in no time at all he was completely possessed. 

“You’re mine,” Eren snarled, the lewd sound of skin slapping against skin echoed through the small space. “Tell me that you’re mine.” 

The student angled himself just right, and all of a sudden Levi fell back down onto the desk. Somehow he even made his fall look graceful, Eren’s fingers fell out of his soft hair as he tumbled. Then his face hit the hard wood of the desk with a loud thump, and Eren could feel the panic being to rise in his gut. 

“Levi!” He yelled, stopping his movement immediately to make sure that his love hadn’t hurt himself too badly. “Are you ok?” 

Levi could feel the ache of a forming bruise on his eye socket, and he knew that it was going to leave a visible mark, but he didn’t care, not one bit. “Don’t you dare stop” he demanded, bucking into Eren’s hand desperately, trying not to lose the building ecstasy. “My ass is yours Jaeger, now make me feel good you damn brat!” 

He said it, he said the words that drove Eren crazy, and the boy began pounding into his love’s ass with the force of a damn bullet train. With that Levi just fucking lost it. The smaller man began to babble obscenities into the abyss as Eren fucked him so hard that he thought he may snap him in half. Shit! He was being way too loud! Eren brought his free hand up and covered his professor’s mouth, but Levi didn’t stop moaning into it. At this point Eren couldn’t make out what he was saying, but he could feel his love’s wet, swollen lips moving against his palm and the sensation drove him wild.

He wondered what Levi was saying. He was clearly speaking into Eren's hand, rambling about something or other as he neared the point of orgasm. Eren was so curious to know what his love was moaning. Damn maybe it was his name! But he couldn't take his hand off of Levi's mouth, if he did that they would risk being heard, and that could not happen.

He could feel his climax fast approaching, and soon enough he had buried his head into Levi’s shoulder, chanting his name in a whisper like a damn mantra. 

“Fuck. Levi. Levi. Yes. You’re so fucking good for me. Oh FUCK yes I’m gonna come in you so fucking hard...” 

Eren spilled his load deep inside Levi and it felt like pure bliss. To feel the vibrations against his hand as his lover moaned and babbled into his palm was like an extra layer of heaven on top, and soon enough Eren could feel Levi’s dick twitching in his hand as jets of hot, white cum spilled out of the end. The professor’s knees buckled as he came, and he had tears in his eyes as the overstimulation completely encapsulated his very being, right down to the core. 

He continued to babble incessantly into Eren’s hand as the last of his orgasm lingered, tingling in every nerve of his body. 

Then his eyes widened in shock, his chest heaving with the heaviness of his breathing and he could feel his heart jump in his chest. 

As the ecstasy ended, Levi cursed at himself under his breath. What the fuck...?

“Fuck,” Eren breathed, planting a gentle kiss on Levi’s shoulder blade as he rested on his love in the stunning afterglow of their love-making. “That was amazing.” 

“Yeah.” Was all that Levi could muster. 

He was still in disbelief with himself. What the fuck was he just saying? That sex was so damn good that it had him saying... saying... well... Eren’s damn hand over his mouth may very well have just completely saved his ass, because what the boy didn’t know was that the words that Eren’s hand muffled were something akin to: “I’m yours. I love you. I’m yours, Eren.” 

Fuck. Levi was damn glad that Eren hadn’t heard that, but either way, he knew what he’d said. This was fucking crazy, right? He didn’t love the damn, shitty kid, did he? Nah, people say all sorts of dumb crap during sex. Yeah, that’s it. It was just the heat of the moment that made him speak such utter garbage. 

That’s what he told himself. 

 

Once the two had re-dressed, they helped each other neaten their hair, straighten their shirts, look all-round presentable. All the while Eren had the widest, most genuine smile on his face. It pissed Levi off, why couldn’t the damn idiot just look at him normally... and why did he have to look so pretty when he smiled? Ugh, what a pain. 

“Does your face hurt?” Eren said, cupping Levi’s cheek gently in his hand and turing it so he could view the damage. It looked a little red, and Eren couldn’t help but feel guilty. 

“I’m fine,” Levi said, wincing as Eren’s thumb brushed over the mark, and a faint pain appeared across it. “It’ll bruise, but I’ll live.” 

“Fuck,” Eren hung his head, feeling the shame set in at what he'd let happen. Levi was his to love and protect, not to hurt. “I should’ve been more careful with you, sometimes I forget just how delicate you are.” 

“Tch,” Levi scowled up at him, “I’m not fucking delicate, you dick.” He shot daggers at his student, but somehow that only made him smile like a fool again. “Plus it’s not your fault, we’ve literally been fucking in a tiny closet. There’s no room.”

Eren let his eyes trace across the barely lit cupboard. It was completely cluttered with useless crap. Old, broken vacuum cleaners, boxes filled with stacks of paper, random books that looked so outdated that they probably couldn’t be used any longer. He’d barely noticed how bad it was before, he’d been too focused on Levi, but now...

“Yeah,” Eren replied. “I guess this isn’t exactly the easiest place to fuck like we do. I mean... if I had it in me to fuck you softly then maybe...” 

“Next time we’ll do it on a proper bed.” Levi interrupted Eren, and all of a sudden the boy’s interest was piqued. 

“A proper bed?” Eren asked, pretty sure that he was going to like where this was going. Plus Levi was now openly admitting that they were going to do this again. This was a step forward, for sure.

“My bed,” Levi stated, so nonchalantly that it hurt, but the words alone made Eren’s head spin with excitement. 

“Your bed! You finally want me to come to your house!?” 

Ugh, how annoying. All Levi wanted was to get fucked in a place that wouldn’t cause him another injury, and here the brat was getting all love-struck and excited. “Well I’m not going to your room in student dorms now am I?” Levi scowled, hating the fact that his heart was beaming at Eren’s reaction. “If we’re gonna do this then we’re doing it properly, no more fucking in closets.” 

“Maybe just sometimes...” Eren grinned, “Y’know, if we really can’t help ourselves.” 

Levi couldn’t stop the corer of his lips from twisting up into a faint smile. “Don’t push it kid.” 

“Well how about this, give me your phone.” Levi complied hesitantly, handing the boy his phone and watching as he tapped something in. 

“Here’s my number,” The brat was practically shining with joy when he handed Levi his phone back, and Levi was almost disgusted to find that he’d saved his contact as ‘My Eren.’ He sighed as he placed it back into his pocket... he’d change the contact name... later.... sure. 

“So next time you wanna hook up, text me and I’ll be right over! It’s not too far from mine so you can text me at any time and I’ll be there. It’ll be all romantic and nice, I could even bring wine and...” 

“Slow down, tiger,” Levi snapped, folding his arms and eyeing the boy suspiciously. Even now, he looked so god damn sexy that Levi was ready to tear his clothes off and go for another round, but something about what he said had caught Levi’s attention. “It’s not too far from yours? How do you know that? For all you know I could live miles away.” 

“Oh,” Eren winced. Crap! Of course he knew exactly where Levi lived, the street, the number, the decor in the garden. He knew when his love would normally be in or go out. He had to be ready for the day that he started in Levi’s class again. Knowing his schedule was imperative if Eren was going to learn enough about him to win his love, and the only way to truly understand it was to see it first hand. He couldn’t tell Levi that though, not yet. 

“I guess I just assumed, because you’re always at work in such good time.” He lied, letting out a nervous giggle as Levi stared back at him blank faced. 

“Well, ok fine it actually is close,” the professor admitted with a look of annoyance etched into his face. “I’ll text you the address later on ok,” he thought a little harder, would it really be a good idea for this kid of have his home address? Well, what's the worst that could happen? “But no surprise visits, ok?” 

“Ok,” the boy beamed back at him, and a layer of ice melted from the professor’s heart. “I’ll just wait for your text.” 

“After the way that you just fucked me, I doubt you’ll be waiting for too long,” Levi admitted, smirking up at the boy who gazed back at him in utter awe. Eren couldn’t help but swoop down and wrap his arms around his love tightly, kissing him tenderly as he did so. 

Finally, a real date. A date at Levi’s house! Eren had spent so much time on the outside, on the street, in the garden, looking through the windows. Now he was finally going to get to see inside for real! He wondered what it would look like, how it would be decorated, if it would smell as alluring as Levi himself did. 

The excitement was unreal, and it soon enough Eren was making out with his love, roughly invading his mouth, dominating his tiny frame. 

“Do we have time to go again?” he smirked, stroking his hand across Levi’s crotch teasingly. He was delighted to find that the man was still semi-hard, and the look on Levi's face right now proved that he wasn't at all opposed to the idea. 

“Fuck,” Levi glanced down at his watch. His class didn’t start for another thirty minutes, so it was cutting it pretty close, but... “Yeah ok, just once more.” 

“That’s my Levi.”

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I won't be uploading this weekend because i have a friend over, just to let you know :)


	26. A True Friend

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Ok so I was wondering, are there any SNK discord servers? I'm on a One Punch Man one where people share their art and fanfics and just generally talk about OPM and I really wanna be on a SNK one too! Lemme know if anybody is in one that they wouldn't mind me joining :)

The weather really was worsening, it was getting much colder. The icy, winter winds blew in gales across the grey skies. The dark clouds threatened to break and spill, therefore Levi had to dress accordingly. The professor wrapped up warmly that morning, sporting a thick, green jumper rather than his usual smart shirts. His feet were snug inside a pair of fluffy bed socks, hidden within leather walking boots. A wooly, black bobble hat sat on top of his head, and for now it covered a portion of the bruise on his head and eye. Damn Eren, it was his stupid fault that Levi had a black eye in the first place! 

The jumper and rain-coat combination wasn’t his most professional look, but he only had to teach one class today anyway. Today was the day that he would run his weekly Japanese language class, and he knew that Eren would be there, probably smirking smugly at Levi as he tried to explain away his bruised face to the rest of the class with blatant lies.

The thought had crossed his mind as he has changed early that morning: maybe when he was wrapped up in thick clothing like this Eren would stop looking at Levi like he was the last damn snack in a stoner’s fridge. The level of hunger in his stare made the professor question whether the boy was really human at all, or whether he was in fact a ravenous demon sent from hell to torment him. At least dressed like this there would be nothing for Eren to perv on. The jumper covered his ass, and it was baggy, leaving everything to the imagination.

It was frustrating to think that the prospect of Eren not being turned on in class disappointed Levi, but it would be best for both of them. 

Levi yawned, feeling the heaviness in his eyelids as staggered towards the building. He’d barely slept that night, unable to fight the intrusive thoughts that ran on repeat in his head. Over and over, he replayed the moment that he’d whined sweet nothings into Eren’s hand as he climaxed. It wasn’t the first time that he’d said the he was Eren’s, that he belonged to him, in fact the first time they’d had sex Eren had practically forced him to say it. Levi took it as nothing more then a game that they played in the heat of passion, it didn't really mean anything, it was just... kind of hot. 

The part that had really perplexed him was when he’d let the ‘I love you’ fall from his lips. 

That was crazy! He didn’t love Eren, it was simply lust, and as of recent a certain fondness of his company. It was such a blessing that Eren hadn’t heard him say those words or he would be in deep, deep shit. The boy had been upfront about his feelings from the very beginning, and so had the professor. Levi had taken every opportunity to remind Eren that their relationship was purely sexual, nothing more. If he would’ve heard Levi confessing feelings for him out loud then it would’ve changed the entire game! He wasn’t willing to go that far, he wasn’t willing to let his feelings for the boy develop into full blown love. He definitely wasn't willing to let Eren know that he had feelings for him at all! It would be better for everyone if he just kept them under wraps until they (hopefully) faded away.

It was out of the question! 

Sure the boy was intelligent and caring. Big deal.

Ok, so he’d given Levi the best sex of his entire life, a passionate connection that was unrivalled by anyone that he'd met before. So what? 

Of course, Levi felt safe and calm with Eren in a way that nobody else was able to provide. But who cares! 

Maybe Eren had made his life happier, more exciting than he ever thought life could be, but that didn’t equate to love, right? The very idea was preposterous! He couldn’t love his own student, a boy almost half his age. 

No way. It was just because he was hot.. or whatever. That’s what Levi told himself. 

As he approached the building and the glass doors slid open to let him in, a gust of warm air filtered over him. It was blissful, and Levi almost smiled until he noticed Erwin stood in corridor, leaning against the wall nervously like a kid that had been kicked out of class, awaiting his punishment. Levi raised an eyebrow in suspicion. What the fuck was he doing here? Wasn’t today Erwin’s day off? 

When the other professor noticed Levi walk in he stood up straight immediately, straightening out his t-shirt and looking at Levi with sad, blue eyes. 

“Erwin?” Levi questioned, approaching him slowly. “The hell are you doing in today? And why do you look so damn worried?” 

“Ahhh, umm...” He raised a hand up to rub the back of his neck anxiously, trying to meet Levi’s gaze and failing multiple times before he managed to splutter out an answer. “I’m... I’m here because I wanna talk to you actually. Do you have a minute?” 

Levi furrowed his brow, and he could feel his heart rate elevate as his levels of anxiety began to rise. He couldn’t handle any more stress, not right now. He'd had enough on his damn mind without another load of drama! 

Despite his hesitation, Levi told him, “Sure.” 

Luckily the staff room in the linguistics department was empty. Levi and Erwin were able to occupy the comfiest sofa uncontested, but Erwin still looked incredibly uncomfortable. That only made Levi more nervous, he couldn’t handle any more bad news right now. 

Where the fuck was Eren when you needed him!? 

“Tch,” Levi huffed. Why was it that when he was nervous he always wanted Eren? Stupid brat! He’d better not become dependant on him! 

“So,” Erwin began. He shifted uncomfortably in his seat, obviously agitated, but not annoyed. “This is a little awkward...” 

Fucking hell Smith! Just spit it out already! “What’s awkward?” 

“Well...” Finally, Erwin was able to meet Levi’s dark eyes, and like most people he was a little intimidated, but he stood his ground. “Levi, I want to apologise to you.” 

“What?” Levi was shocked, this wasn’t what he was expecting in the slightest. “What are you apologising for?” 

The blonde professor let out a deep sigh, letting his head drop, and his eyes drift down to his feet shamefully. “I heard about Reiss interrogating you the other day, and I don’t know if you’re aware, but it’s partly my fault.” 

“Yeah, I know,” Levi told him. “You heard... uhh... well you heard me...” 

“Yeah,” by this point both men were blushing. They both knew exactly what Erwin had heard through those thin hotel walls, but neither of them had the guts to say it out loud. “I promise you that I wasn’t trying to get you in any trouble!” Erwin’s voice was suddenly panicked, but incredibly sincere. “I just thought that it was a bit of harmless staff room banter, after all, it isn’t like you to just get laid like that, you’re usually so picky! All I said was that you'd got laid, nothing more, I promise!” 

Honestly, Levi was relieved to hear these words coming from his coworker. This was it, an apology? That was a huge weight off his mind, and he could feel his tense muscles relaxing, his heart rate slowing. “It’s ok, really,” he smiled, “I’m not angry at you, Erwin.” 

The sigh of relief was audible, and Levi could see a supportive smile begin to form on his friend’s face. It honestly warmed his heart to think that Erwin had been so torn up about his involvement in the ordeal. Levi knew that it wasn’t on purpose, but he still appreciated the sincerity of Erwin’s apology all the same. 

“I just want you to know Levi, that I support you. I don’t think that what you did was wrong, and I understand.” 

“What, getting laid?” Levi chuckled, slouching down onto the armrest of his seat and grinning at his friend in a smug fashion. “Well yeah, I guess it wasn’t the most professional thing for me to do on a work trip, but getting laid is no big deal really. God knows it’d been a while.” 

“Yeah,” Erwin smiled back at him, but suddenly the smile faded back to a blank expression, and that made Levi’s heat jump a little. “That’s not what I meant though,” he said, tone more serious all of a sudden. “I meant that I don‘t think it’s wrong, that it was with Eren.” 

“W-what?” 

Like a switch, Levi’s mood changed from one of relaxation, to pure panic. He could feel his eyes widen, his body begin to tremble. He knew that his face was going red, and that only stressed him out more! The natural reactions of his body were failing him, and he urged himself to act normal, act normal or it would only be more obvious that what Erwin had just said was the truth. Come on Levi, fucking pull yourself together! You can do this!

“With Eren?... It wasn’t... I...” 

“Levi,” Erwin interrupted his friend’s rambling with a stern voice, looking him dead in the eyes when he told him. “I know.” 

Levi felt as if he’d just been punched in the face. He was dazed, speechless. How could he possibly know? How was he meant to defend himself here? He wasn't as quick witted as Eren, and Erwin was stating that he already knew? Fuck, this was a nightmare!

“I didn’t catch on at first, but after hearing what Annie told Rod Reiss everything just sort of fell into place.” There was no anger in his voice, no malice. The professor was calm, even as he looked on at his friend who looked like a deer in headlights. “A lot of things make sense now, I knew that something didn't seem right about the entire situation at that conference. You were acting so strangely.” 

“I wasn’t... I...”

“It’s ok Levi, honestly.” Levi was surprised when Erwin’s big, warm hand landed on his knee. He was sure that it was meant to be calming, but it really was not. There was very little that could calm the whirlwind of thoughts and feelings that battered his body and mind right now. “I like you and all, but you’re normally such a grumpy bastard.” He gave Levi a lopsided smile. “Ever since that boy came into your life you’ve been happier, more driven. Hell I’ve never seen you smile so much!”

“I... don’t know what to say.” That fact was true. Was it ok to just admit it? His friend seemed... happy...

“The rules are stupid,” he smirked, “if you’ve found someone or something that makes you happy then don’t let it go. I don’t need you to admit it to me, but I’m not stupid. I’ve seen the way you look at him, and god damn Levi, the way that he looks at you. I promise you, I won’t tell a soul.” 

Levi was dumbfounded. How the fuck had Erwin figured it out so easily? He knew that he hadn’t exactly been the most careful in his endeavours with Eren, but he hadn’t expected this in a million years! Erwin not only knew, but he was actually supportive of the entire situation. Levi knew that he needed a moment to process the information, but his mouth moved before his brain and all of a sudden he was blurting out words that he’d sworn he would take to his grave! 

“We’re just screwing, ok” Levi spat, folding his arms across his chest like a sulking child, bitter that he’d been discovered so effortlessly. “It’s not like I actually have feelings for the brat or anything!” 

“What, why not?” Erwin was trying to hold back a smug grin, secretly finding amusement in his usually proud friend’s defensive display. 

“Because he’s my damn student! And enough with all this ‘making me happy’ crap! I just wanted to get laid... it’s not like I... actually like him or anything!”

The sound that left Erwin was somewhere in-between a snort and a laugh, and at this point there was no use in holding back his amusement. “You’re so transparent,” he grinned teasingly, finding even more humour at the scowl that Levi directed at him. 

“The fuck do you mean?” 

“Oh come on, I’m not gonna judge you.”

“There’s nothing to judge!” 

“Ugh,” Erwin sighed once again. Levi damn sure had one hell of an attitude, and he was a terrible liar. He couldn’t have been more obvious if he tried, and although it was kind of cute to see his friend all worked up like this, there really was no need for him to be so flustered. “The way I see it Eren is a perfect match for you: he’s ambitious, smart, sexy, and he’s clearly been doting on you since day one. What’s not to like?” 

Levi pursed his lips, his frown deepening. Somehow Erwin's comment had gotten his back up. “Don’t you be calling him sexy, ya damn perv.” 

The professor couldn’t help but let his smile evolve into a full blown laugh. “Don’t get so possessive, little man,” he chuckled, ruffling his friend’s hair and delighting in the fact that Levi didn’t slap his hand away. “I’m straight, I’m not going to try and steal your boyfriend.” 

“Tch,” Levi huffed, “He’s not my boyfriend.” 

“Well whatever he is, with a reaction like that you can’t keep denying the fact that you’ve got more than a little crush on the kid.” Erwin let his hands fall onto his own lap, suppressing his smile, and meeting Levi’s eyes reassuringly. “Whatever happens I support you man, I really mean that.” The look in Erwin’s eyes was so genuine that it hurt, and that only made Levi feel even more nervous. 

More than a little crush? He didn’t want that to be true, but he couldn’t deny that it was. Levi’s feelings for his student were growing stronger every day, and as much as it scared him, it excited him too. He wasn’t expecting anybody to be this supportive. He’d experienced his fair share of homophobia over the years, and with the age gap between himself and Eren, Levi had expected the same amount of scorn with double the intensity. 

It felt nice to be accepted like this, nice to be validated. There really were some good people in this world, and one of them just happened to be sitting by his side. Knowing that at least somebody wasn’t judging him made him feel calmer, much more comfortable. Maybe, just maybe there wouldn’t be as much of a reason to hold back any more. Maybe Levi could let himself experience these new feelings, see where they lead. After all, he would always have his friend’s support, and he trusted him when he said he wouldn't tell a soul.

“Just one more question,” Erwin said, a hint of concern present in his tone. “The bruise on your face... how did you?” 

Levi had expected himself to blush, to stutter, to panic. Instead, he simply smiled. Somehow, he felt comfortable telling Erwin the truth. Maybe it would be nice to have a friend to confide in, to brag to about the new found thrills that he’d experienced. “Turns out sex in a storage closet is harder than I’d anticipated.” 

Yes, Levi did feel completely smug saying that out loud. With a guy as hot as Eren lusting after him it made him feel like a bit of a stud, as pathetic as that sounded in his own head.

“You fucking dog!” Erwin practically cheered, letting a wholehearted laugh bellow out and echo through the room. “I’m jealous, maybe I should finally ask Petra from Mathematics out, maybe she’ll have kinky closet sex with me.” 

Levi snorted, “good luck, she’s way out of your league." 

“Well if a short guy like you can pull a kid like Eren then maybe I’ll take my chances.” The two chuckled at their lighthearted banter, and Levi revelled in the feeling of warmth in his heart.

“Yeah yeah, I’ve got a class to teach,” he said. He stood up and letting the faintest hint of a smile grace his lips before turning away and making his way to the door. Levi was still a little dazed, but overall, he was completely satisfied with the current turn of events.

His delicate hand grasped the door handle, and he was just about to leave when a sudden thought hit him. “Erwin,” he called out, turning back to look at his friend over his shoulder, who was still grinning at him like an idiot. “Don’t call him a kid, it’s weird.”


	27. Acting on Impulse: The Time is Right.

Class had gone about as well as it usually did. Most of the kids had no idea what they were doing, and Eren ended up answering every question that Levi put to the class. His Japanese was good, much too good for a beginners class like this, but that was to be expected from a guy like Eren. He seemed to excel in everything that he did, including getting Levi all worked up with his playful winks shot across the classroom, or the way that he sucked on his pen so teasingly. 

Today however, Levi was in a damn good mood. 

Rather than making him feel nervous, Eren’s flirting had been kind of fun. The subtle biting of his bottom lip, the way that he breathed ‘sen-sei’ so seductively when he needed Levi’s attention, all of it. It would normally have the professor’s eyes darting around the room nervously to check if anyone was catching on, after all, the Japanese class was small and intimate. Not today though, this time Levi had felt comfortable enough to chuckle along with the brat’s playful quips, to give the boy a knowing smirk when his Japanese speech ‘accidentally’ translated to ‘I love my teacher’ rather than ‘I love my teacher’s classes.’ 

Maybe it was Erwin’s validation, or maybe it was something else, but Levi found himself grinning moronically at his student throughout the entirety of the lesson, and when the clock finally struck two and the rest of the class began to pack up their bags he’d made an impulsive, but important decision.

“Jaeger, stay behind please. We have to discuss your formative assessment results.” 

The smile that lit up the boy’s handsome face at those words warmed Levi’s heart a little, and for the first time, that fact didn’t scare him all that much. 

Eren was feeling especially giddy today. Not only was Levi all bundled up in the cutest green jumper that he’d ever seen, but he was acting much more comfortable today as well. Every sweet smile that his love had sent his way during class had his heart pounding in his chest. Butterflies turned to birds which turned to dragons in his gut, setting his heart aflame as he gazed at his professor in awe. He fought with the urge to take him into his arms and never let go. 

The bruise on his face was a light, lilac colour. Of course - Levi could make anything look beautiful, even a bruise. Every time Eren looked at it, his mild guilt was quickly overshadowed by the lustful memories of the incident that had caused the injury. 

He’d spent the entire lesson imagining what he would do if the two were alone. Even now as the other students filtered out of the classroom, he couldn’t stop thinking about it: First he would scoop him up into his arms carefully, holding his delicate frame tightly. Levi’s scent would be hypnotic musky and manly, but sweet and tantalising. Eren imagined that he would pepper tiny kisses up the length of his professor’s neck, stopping when he reached his jawline to nip at the soft skin gently with his teeth. He would take his love by surprise, catching his lips in a tender kiss, letting his eager hands trail down the contours of his slim back. Forcing the kiss to deepen further when he reached his hand up under his professor’s shirt would be a dream, stroking his hands upwards until his thumb brushed over the pink nub on his chest, causing Levi to moan softly. That’s when Levi would open his hot, wet mouth, allowing Eren’s tongue access to...

“Eren.’` 

His head was spinning, heart racing as Levi’s voice dizzied him out of his fantasy. To his delight Levi was stood only inches from his face, glaring into his eyes with a concerned expression. That’s when Eren realised that scent of Levi’s cologne hadn’t been purely formed by his imagination. He smelt divine, and Eren wanted nothing more than to nuzzle into his chest like a kitten.

“Wake up,” Levi grinned. His eyes were bright today, his tone was lighthearted too.“I didn’t tell you to stay behind after class so you could stare at me in silence.” 

“R-right...” Eren muttered, shaking the images out of his head, trying to ignore the hardening in his jeans as he fought against the predatory instinct that urged him to pounce on his love like prey.

“Tch,” Levi huffed, pulling up a chair to sit across from Eren. He rested his elbows on the table, and Eren couldn’t help but notice the carefree attitude that he radiated. It was as if his love was totally relaxed, at ease with the world, and that made Eren’s heart swell. 

The professor placed his head in his hands as he gazed at the boy intently. His dark, steely eyes seemed to wander down the boy’s body and right back up again, as if he were studying him. Eren didn’t care why, but he did wonder.

“So,” Eren smiled, mirroring Levi’s position and staring lovingly into his professor’s eyes. He loved to catch the subtle flecks of colour variation in Levi’s iris, it had become somewhat of a hobby of his. “Why did you keep me behind? Is there a new storage closet that you wanna check out or something?” The devilish smirk on Eren’s face told Levi that he was joking, but the professor still gave his arm a playful slap anyway. 

“Cut it out,” Levi tried to sound serious, but Eren could practically hear the smile in his tone, and that fact alone made him feel as if he had died and gone to heaven. “I’m trying to be serious here, little brat.” 

Eren pursed his lips, letting his laughter subside and returning to his original position of looking longingly into his love’s eyes. “Sorry professor,” he said in his sweetest, most innocent tone of voice. “What is it?” Eren fluttered his eyelashes teasingly, and Levi simply rolled his eyes in response. 

God fucking damn! Eren LOVED it when he did that. 

“Ok listen up Jaeger because I’m only going to say this once...” 

Eren’s ears pricked up immediately. His body tensed up, ready to hear what his love had to say. 

“Get your phone out.” 

His phone? Eren was more than a little puzzled. “My... my phone?” 

“Tch,” Levi scowled, but it still couldn’t mask his subtle smile. “Did I fucking stutter or something?” 

“Right!” As quick as a flash, Eren whipped his phone out of his pocket, surprised to find that Levi was doing the same. Then all of a sudden, Levi began to type. Eren watched as the brightness of the phone screen reflected in his intense eyes, and for a moment he was mesmerised. 

“what are you...?”

“Shhh.” 

Levi hushed Eren, not taking his eyes off his phone screen for even a second. The boy was left in a state of utter bewilderment, mixed with a hint of pure excitement. He didn’t know what Levi was doing, but for some reason it made the tiny hairs on his arms stand on end. This wasn’t like Levi, not at all. He wasn’t usually one for surprises or even subtle gestures like this. What the hell was he doing? Eren could feel an aura radiating from his love that was somewhere between happiness and anxiety, and he couldn’t for the life of him work out what was going on. 

Levi let out a soft exhale.

That’s when Eren’s phone vibrated in his hand. He raised it upwards, wincing a little at the brightness, and that’s when he saw it. 

The notification icon on the screen from an unknown number.   
It read: My house. 27 Aspland Grove. YO2 7UD. 8pm. Don’t be late.

Eren could feel his eyes pulsating as he read over the message again, and again, and again, just to be sure that his brain wasn’t playing tricks on him. Was this actually happening? Had Levi really just invited him over to his own house? He let his eyes trace over the words one more time just to be sure, then he looked up. 

“I said I’d text you when I wanted you to come over, so I did, ok?” 

Levi was wearing a pissed off expression that could’ve easily made it onto the cover of Vogue. Eren’s heart melted in his chest. It was truly adorable when his love tried to mask his true emotions by using his trademark, frustrated glare. The boy couldn’t help but wonder what emotion his professor was trying to mask this time: Nervousness, excitement... love? 

Eren wanted to scream, he wanted to throw his hands up in the air and jump for joy. He wanted to run out into the streets and tell every living soul that he and Levi were finally going to have a real date! His body acted before his brain could and all of a sudden he was on Levi in three seconds flat. Their lips collided and it felt as if fireworks popped and crackled and whizzed around their heads as the boy’s tongue glided across his professor’s soft lips, begging for entry. 

Long, thick fingers were knotted in Levi’s raven hair before he had a moment to react to them, and he could feel himself drifting, drifting away slowly into the magic of Eren’s lips against his own until...

“Woah,” Levi flung himself backwards, almost toppling his chair and landing himself on his ass on the floor. “Cut it out kid! - Uh, I mean... Eren.” 

He placed his tiny hands on the desk to steady himself, his face crimson, his breathing deeper as he tried to calm his raging heart. 

“Let’s not get carried away right here,” Levi locked onto Eren’s gaze, and their eyes met like magnets. They could both feel the pull, the niggling sensation that tried and tried to draw them back into each others arms. It was painful to ignore, but still they fought through it, knowing that the next time they would embrace would be behind the privacy of closed doors; and with that came a whole new range of possibilities. 

“Sorry, Sensei,” Eren smirked, instinctively puffing out his chest and flexing his arms slightly, aiming to feed on the subtle reactions that his love gave him in return. “I shouldn’t have done that, I just got a little excited there.” 

“Tch,” The professor rolled his eyes, folding his arms across his chest he tried to frown through his mild embarrassment, alongside his growing feelings of lust. “Class is over, you don’t have to call me that any more.” 

The boy lowered is head, never letting his dazzling, green eyes leave Levi’s for a second. A long, dark strand of hair fell across his face, but the brilliance of the green still shone through, and Levi was enthralled. “I know I don’t,” he spoke softly through smiling lips. “But I kinda like it.” 

That damn brat! Levi huffed once again as he tried furiously to hide grin that threatened to form on his face. He loved it when Eren was a cheeky, little shit like this. It pissed him off and turned him on at the same time. Those weren’t often flavours that mixed well, but Eren knew exactly how to make them flourish as if they were one in the same. 

“Brat,” Levi spat, failing to stop the corner of his lip from curving upwards, just a little. 

Eren noticed. 

“So, you’ll come then?” Fuck! Levi scolded himself as the words left his mouth. He wasn’t aware that they were going to sound so pathetic and desperate out loud, but of course, the brat was just grinning back at him like a damn moron. 

“You shouldn’t even have to ask,” Eren beamed so brightly that it almost blinded his professor, who could only sit and stare at him blankly. “I don’t have plans, but even if I did I would drop them in a heartbeat to spend the night with you.” 

“Don’t get cocky now,” the professor warned, raising an eyebrow disapprovingly. “I invited you over for dinner, I never said you could spend the night.” It was true in theory, but Levi knew that once he had Eren in his own lair he wouldn’t want the boy to leave his bed until he could no longer fucking walk. He’d keep Eren there until his damn mattress had given out, and the plaster of his wall was dented from being hit repeatedly by the headboard of his bed. 

Wait... No! Focus Levi! He invited Eren over because he wanted to get to know him better. Sure, sex was great and all... well ok, beyond great, but there was something more here. He knew that there was, and it felt like the right time to finally figure out what it was. 

“Of course,” the boy blurted, panic rising in his eyes as he tried to defend himself. “We’ll go at your pace! I’m not rushing you, I promise!” 

Levi leant back in his chair, studying the expression on Eren’s face carefully. He looked genuinely afraid that he’d pushed things too far, and that was a far stretch from the Eren that had practically forced his was into his life. The boy had come on so strongly, but over time it seemed as if he was actually learning how to behave properly. He was still weird, eccentric, and maybe a little soppy, but damn the guy was really trying! 

There was still something about him that made Levi feel unsettled - for lack of a better word. 

He was perfect, too perfect. He was rash and impulsive, and sometimes he could even be down right scary. Levi couldn’t help but notice though, that every wrong turn the boy took was a result of his passion for him, and somehow that turned every negative trait into a positive. When it came to Levi, he’d been increasingly considerate, learning all of the intricate details of Levi’s mind, being sure that he didn’t repeat his mistakes or any upsetting behaviour. Levi didn’t want to admit it, but it was nice to have somebody care about him so much. 

Sure, the two were completely foolish when they were together, kissing and groping and fucking in strange, public places. Somehow though, it all kind of felt like a breath of fresh air in his life. Putting aside the social hang-ups, the age-gap, their teacher-student relationship, it was like a fantasy, whirlwind romance. They couldn’t keep their hands off each other, and damn, they didn’t want to!. Like all people, they’d made mistakes, but the mistakes only seemed to strengthen their bond overall, bringing them closer together. A million times Levi’s rational mind had screamed at him to run in the opposite direction, and yet here he was. Still by Eren’s side, still thinking about him every second of every day. 

It was as if his heart was setting concrete, and Eren had shoved his hand into the cement and left a mark that would last forever.

Eren made him feel safe, protected, wanted, loved. More than a few times he’d found himself cursing into the mirror and asking himself when exactly it was that he became such a fucking sap.

He’d tasted the forbidden fruit, and he knew that he was never going back. Levi may not have known exactly what his feelings were toward the boy, but he knew one thing for certain:   
Whatever the feeling was, he wanted more. 

“Don’t worry about it,” Levi let a devilish smirk fall onto his face, and he saw Eren’s panic visibly fade. It was quite sweet actually, and Levi hated himself for thinking so. “I know what I want. Just be at my place for eight, and if you make me wait around for you, you’ll pay dearly.”

“I promise, professor” Eren beamed. “I won’t let you down.”

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> There's still the most intense parts of the rollercoaster yet to come readers, don't think this is going to just be cute fluff from now on >:)
> 
> Ehehehehe, no seriously though the cute/fluff/smut/fuckery/crazy-shit ratio is going to be perfectly balanced, as all things should be.


	28. Bad Timing

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I just want to say that I love all of you for reading my story, for always leaving comments and kudos and just being all round cool people. It literally means the world to me <3

To say that Eren left the classroom with a skip in his step would’ve been a dramatic understatement. He was elated, ecstatic, his head was in the clouds. After years of waiting patiently, studying diligently, and loving Levi from afar, he was finally going on a real date with him! 

It was all going according to his plan. He just knew that Levi would fall in love with him! It was written in the stars after all, it was fate. 

At the beginning he had assumed that Levi’s love for him would be almost instantaneous, he was Levi’s type down to the last detail, but after a while he realised that it would take a lot more love and loyalty to crack the man’s hard shell. 

Now however, he was over the moon. He’d finally done it! And now that Levi's hardened exterior had cracked it would only take a few more pushes until it crumbled into dust and ashes, and Eren could immerse himself in the virgin, golden glow that lay at his core. His love had never let anybody get so close to him before, and that vulnerability was going to be all Eren’s. 

Eren had kept a close eye on Levi’s previous relationships. Usually it would take his professor weeks to want to take a man to bed, with the exception of a few drunk one-night-stands, and with Eren lurking in the shadows it would be incredibly lucky if any of them ever made it to his house at all. Levi had assumed that his previous partners excuses of slashed tyres and mysterious illnesses had been lies, made up due to lack of interest in him, and Eren wanted to keep it that way. He couldn’t stop Levi from dating, but he had made damn sure that none of his other partners ever made it past a few brief meetings. 

The lucky ones made it to his bedroom, but they were the ones who suffered the most after the fact. There was no way that Levi would still be interested in them once they’d been fired from their jobs for having indecent images on their computers, or arrested for possession of drugs. It was further than Eren had wanted to go to deter them, and he’d always made sure that their charges were as minimal as possible, but it was necessary, and it was what they deserved. He couldn’t have their relationship with HIS love getting too out of hand! If Eren hadn’t have intervened every time then Levi could have ended up with another man. Hell, he could’ve been married by now! That would've been such a pain, breaking up a marriage sounded like hard work.

That was out of the question. Levi was his, and his alone. Any other man had been nothing but a bad experience for Levi, a bitter taste in his mouth, a sad memory. Eren had made damn sure of that.

Levi was proud, and he was prone to dropping his partners after the second or third ‘excuse’ they would use when they skipped out on his dates. He knew his worth... well, he at least knew that he was worth more than some loser who would repeatedly cancel on him, no matter how many times they apologised or begged for forgiveness. 

So Eren didn’t usually have to go to such extreme measures to get rid of the pretenders, it was normally as easy as having them miss a date or two. 

It was like a beautiful cycle: the more often it happened, the less lenient Levi would be on the next guy. And so the pattern would repeat, and repeat, until Levi simply believed that he was terminally unlucky in love.

Levi didn’t need to know that Eren was responsible for his previous partners’ misfortunes, but surely he would thank the boy in the long run if he ever found out, after all, Eren was the only man worthy of standing by Levi’s side. The others didn’t deserve to breathe the same air as him. They wouldn’t have gone to this much effort to make him theirs. He deserved the best, and apart from Levi himself, Eren WAS the best.

Now after all his hard work, he would be able to swoop in and be the only partner in Levi's life who had been reliable and trustworthy. Then Levi would fall in even deeper in love with him, and the two could live happily ever after. 

It was a perfect plan, if Eren did say so himself. 

 

Eren sighed in relief when he approached the small supermarket on campus, and saw that it was relatively quiet. That meant that he would be able to shop for what he wanted without having to deal with the excessive crowds and queues. He couldn’t show up to the date empty-handed, that wouldn’t be a good start at all. He needed to repay Levi’s hospitality with wine... good wine... expensive wine... and flowers... maybe even chocolates...

...Eren left the store red faced and flustered, but overall he was happy with his purchases. He’d found an elegant looking white wine, a box of Levi’s favourite truffles and a bunch of deep, purple flowers. Eren didn’t know the name of them, but they were small and dark and they reminded him of Levi. With a haul like this, Levi was bound to feel special when Eren arrived at his house that night. He couldn’t wait to present him with these gifts, he was sure that they would be the first of many.

His face was painted with a wide smile as he turned the corner. His feet were practically skipping against the concrete. All he needed to do was go back to his dorm, make sure that he looked perfect, and wait. It may have been hours before their date, but Eren knew that it wouldn’t be possible to think about anything else. 

Maybe he could just jack off or something, thinking about Levi and the things that he would do to him that night. Eren planned to do things to his professor that would require him to turn any family photos down to face the table. The kind of things that would have his neighbours questioning whether they could hear hardcore sex through the wall, or a damn murder. Eren could feel his cock twitch just thinking about it. Fuck, all of a sudden he wanted to relieve himself, very, very badly. Damn yeah, that sounded like a good way to pass the time...

“Eren?” 

Shit, that voice...

Eren swivelled on his heels, and there she was. Gazing up at him with her big, crystal eyes. Eren’s very own girlfriend, the one that he had been avoiding for the past few days. Eren watched as her eyes drifted from his shocked face, to the flowers, to the shopping bag with the obvious bottle shape pressed against the the plastic. 

God fucking damn it Historia! Could her timing have possibly been any worse? At least her sudden appearance had banished the insatiable sex demon that lurked within him, although he knew that it was only temporary. 

“Oh! Historia!” His voice sounded shrill, nervous, and that wasn’t like him at all. She 'had' just caught him whilst he was thinking about screwing another man into the next dimension, but Eren knew that he was usually much more charismatic than this. Come on Eren, focus. 

“Flowers?” the disapproval in her voice was apparent, and so was the attempt at hiding it. Shit, this kind of crap would make a girl jealous.“What... what are those for?” 

Fuck! Damn Historia. There was only one thing he could do in this situation. He really didn’t want to, but he knew that now he'd have to...

“Oh, honey,” all of a sudden Eren’s voice was smooth and confident again. He lowered his head, gazing at her with hypnotic eyes through his thick lashes. Eren watched with relief as her posture softened at the pet name, and the anxious look faded from her face, being replaced by a sweet, blossom blush. “I can’t believe I ran into you here, I was planning to surprise you with these.” 

“For... for me?” 

Damn it, she didn’t have to look so damn happy about it! Eren’s heart dropped as he reluctantly handed Levi’s flowers to Historia, wincing as her slender hand wrapped around the stems. The girl’s eyes lit up as she brought the bouquet up to her face, taking in the delightful scent, the scent that was meant for Levi, not her. 

The flowers looked wrong on her. They were little, sure, but they just didn’t suit her. Historia was more of a pink rose kind of girl, or some prissy kind of flower that a restaurant would decorate the tables with on Valentines Day. The dark purple was much more of a Levi colour. It was sensual, regal, powerful. That just wasn’t Historia’s vibe at all. 

Eren couldn’t let himself frown, no matter how much he wanted to. It was him that had been careless enough to get himself and Levi caught, and now it was him that had to face the consequences. This was the burden that he had to bear now. He needed to keep Historia happy, at least for a little while. 

“I’m sorry that I haven’t called you in a while,” he lied, giving the girl a timid grin that she mirrored immediately. “I thought that these would make up for it.” 

God damn it. Now he would have to go back and buy more flowers. At least she couldn’t see the chocolates through the bag, she wasn’t getting her hands on those. And she definitely wasn't getting near the wine! That shit was expensive!

“Oh, Eren!” She practically cried, running up to him and wrapping her tiny arms around his waist. Eren grunted in annoyance, bringing his strong arms around her back and holding her against him. She was cold, and kind of boney, not at all like his love. “You’re so sweet! I have plans with Ymir tonight though... I guess I could cancel, I suppose she wouldn’t mind...” 

“NO!” 

Historia cocked her head to the side, a little taken aback by Eren’s sudden outburst. 

God damn it Eren! Snap out of it!

“I mean...” Pull yourself together Eren! He took a deep breath, he had this. “Don’t cancel on your friend, I can see you another night. We’ve got all the time in the world.” He smiled down at her sweetly, and she smiled up at him in return. 

To passersby, they looked like the perfect, young couple. Wrapped up in each other’s arms without a care in the world. She was beautiful, and he was handsome, and anybody who saw them would envy them, but oh how wrong they would be to do so. 

“I’ve got some free time now actually,” Historia said, breaking away from the embrace, causing Eren to sigh silently in relief. “Wanna grab a coffee?” 

He glanced down at his watch. Darn, he was really looking forward to jacking off, but that would have to wait. He had hours of free time before his date with Levi, in fact he’d gotten completely ahead of himself. He definitely had time to waste on Historia, and time to indulge himself in Levi-themed fantasies afterwards too. “Sure.” 

 

He let Historia choose the cafe, and of course she chose the pretty tea rooms by the university gardens. The view from the window looked out over the fountain, the very place where Eren had asked Historia to be his partner. The girl burrowed her cheeks into her pastel pink scarf, gazing out at the spraying water and leaning both elbows on the circular coffee table whilst her wonderful boyfriend stood at the counter ordering her drink. He’d told her that it was his treat, he had even offered to surprise her by choosing her drink for her. 

Historia sighed wistfully. She felt as if she was floating on a fluffy, sunset cloud. How had she managed to get so lucky? Sure, Eren was a little distant, but it was only because he was such a keen student! He spent quite a lot of time with professor Ackerman, and that fact excited her greatly. If a smart man like him had taken an interest in her boyfriend, then he really must be suited for a wonderful, fruitful career in the future. Maybe the professor would even hire him when he graduated, or maybe her father would! He was top of the class after all. 

Plus, it was like he could read her mind sometimes. Just as she was beginning to feel distant from him he decided to surprise her with flowers! She was sure that she could see wine in his bag too, but maybe he just hadn’t given it to her because he was saving it for a time that they could spend an evening together. That was something that she had been craving as of recent.

She found it a little strange, the fact that Eren hadn’t asked to spend the evening with her yet. The girl appreciated that Eren was a perfect gentleman, but her mother had always told her that young men were only interested in one thing, and so far Eren hadn’t seemed interested in the slightest. 

Maybe he was saving it for a special occasion? Maybe he was just shy? Historia wasn’t sure, but one thing that she did know was that she wanted him. 

She was a sweet girl, but incredibly inexperienced. It wasn’t as if she knew how a man was supposed to act this early on in a relationship anyway. She’d never accepted a single one of the many date proposals she’d received, and she’d never had sex, so when it came to Eren she really didn’t know what to do. It had been a long time since she’d had a crush on someone, and she’d fallen hard for Eren. 

She was ready to go all the way, and with her next proposal, she was hoping to create the perfect, romantic opportunity for the two of them. 

Eren came back to the table holding a simple, white mug in one hand, and an elaborately styled glass in the other. He placed the glass in front of Historia, giving her a cute grin as he set it down on the table. It was a strawberry milkshake, with all the amenities. There was a mountain of cream of the top, pink sherbet, even a quarter of an actual strawberry! Strawberry milkshake wasn’t really Historia’s favourite, but she appreciated it all the same. She was sure that he would get to know all of her favourite things in time.

Eren was really making an effort for her, and it made her heart soar. That was what really mattered.

“It’s all pink and stuff,” Eren told her. “It reminded me of you.” 

The girl fluttered her eyelashes, taking the small teaspoon off the table and spooning a tiny bit of cream into her mouth daintily. “Thank you so much,” she smiled, trying her best to keep eye contact. 

She really did try, but her heart was fluttering and her cheeks were heating up. It happened often when she looked at Eren, he was just so handsome! But today there was a proper reason...

She’d needed to ask Eren a question, but she didn’t quite know how to. She didn’t know how it would make her look if she did, and she certainly didn’t want to appear too clingy or needy. She didn’t want to look as if she was rushing things either...

“Hey,” Eren shot her a concerned glance. “You ok? You look a little... uncomfortable.” 

“Oh, yeah, I’m fine. I just...” She began to mumble, but her words trailed off to nothing. It’s ok Historia, you’ve got this! She told herself with a fire in her belly.

“Just what?” Eren was sure not to let his frustration seep out into his tone, but it was difficult. Why did she look nervous? Eren didn’t like it, he barely had time for her as it was, and the fact that she looked worried right now seemed like yet a burden that he didn’t want to deal with. Was he going to have to listen to all of her problems now too? Oh god, was she going to ask him to hang out with her friends or something? Good grief. 

“I was just... h-hoping to ask you something.” She stammered like a frightened child. It would’ve been cute any other day, but right now Eren would rather have been in his dorm getting ready. He didn’t have time for Historia today, as lovely as she was. 

The girl took in a deep, slow breath. Giving herself a mental pep talk, she managed to calm her nerves just enough to pop the question. She was ready, it wasn't a big deal. Eren was her boyfriend after all. 

“Of course,” he smiled. She felt her heart rate elevate once again as he reached over, taking her petite hand into his own, gazing lovingly into her eyes. “Ask away, honey.” 

Oh wow! He had a pet name for her already, she hoped that it would stick!

“I ... I just...” Drat! The information was sitting in her brain, but it was all jumbled. There was nothing else for it, she just had to blurt it out. It would be fine, she was sure. “Have you heard of the winter ball?” 

Eren paused for a moment as he thought. He’d actually seen posters advertising it, but he hadn’t given them a second glance.“Winter ball? No.” 

“Well it’s an event held by the university every year. My father hosts it most of the time... well, him and a few other university officials. It’s kind of like a prom or something, hehehe...” 

Eren could feel his hair standing on end. He could tell where this was going, and he didn’t like it. Not one bit. 

“So I was just wondering if... if...”

“If I’d go with you?” Eren thought that he’d have a damn aneurysm if he heard her stumble over her words one more time. He didn’t want to take her, but he knew that the question was coming, and there was no way that he could possibly say no! Not when Rod Reiss was one of the event hosts. Spending time with Historia could actually be really fun sometimes, but a ball just sounded crowded, and loud. It really wasn’t his scene at all.“Historia, I’d love to go,” he lied.

As he spoke, he could see the girl’s face light up almost blindingly. Her eyes began to sparkle, and her pink lips turned up into a beautiful smile. “Really? Wow, that’d be great!” 

It was hardly ideal, but at least it was a great way to keep up appearances with Rod Reiss. If people saw him at that fancy event with Historia on his arm, it would only give further credence to the myth that was their relationship, and cast a darker shadow over the flame that was his real love. 

Damn it, he would probably have to dance with her all night, talk to her friends. He’d have to kiss her, romance her, and god help him if she wanted him to come back to her place afterwards. He knew that he was a master of thinking up excuses on the spot, but he didn’t want to hurt her feelings. He needed to keep her happy. 

Ugh! Great! Yet another problem to take his mind away from his real love. 

Eren felt himself smile naturally when he thought back to Levi, and their date that night. This ‘winter ball’ situation could wait. All he had to do now was entertain Historia for half an hour or so, then he could plan for his more imminent situation. His first real date with Levi.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Also, despite what you may all believe. I actually LOVE Historia! I'm so mean to her in this story, but I love that girl so much really omg <3
> 
> OH AND!!! A lovely reader left a comment on my last chapter asking if I would be willing to write a smut scene where Eren was the bottom, and Levi was the top. Honestly I WOULD totally do that, but I thought I'd ask and see what you guys would want. Leave me a comment and let me know because I am willing to indulge you guys in whatever smutty shizz you want. Feel free to make more suggestions :)


	29. All the Ones Before

The professor took one last look at himself in the hallway mirror of his home, exhaling softly as his gaze met the reflection of his own steely eyes. He was clean, freshly shaven, and dressed to impress. Levi sported a more casual look that evening: a long sleeved, black body top, paired with a tight set of navy blue trousers. From a fashion standpoint, he looked rather ordinary, but this outfit was more than what it seemed. 

It was Levi’s secret weapon. 

The beauty of it was not in the print or the design, but in the way that it sculpted his body. It was plain, un-patterned, but that meant that there was nothing to distract a man’s eyes from noticing the way that it clung to his slim, but muscular arms, or exaggerated his lean abs and his waist. The tightness of the trousers made his ass look amazing, and the beautiful, blue colouring meant that people’s eyes would be drawn there immediately. 

He looked sexy, but most importantly, it looked as if it was completely effortless. He would open the door for his date, and boom! There he would be, in his casual clothing, looking so nonchalant that it hurt and hot enough to give someone a damn nosebleed. 

It was the subtle details like these that made Levi such a snappy dresser. He didn’t need bold prints or pretty colours to impress. He knew his body, and he knew how to use it. 

He knew exactly what this outfit would do to Eren, as it had done to all of the men before him. Although none of them would stick around for long afterwards, not like the brat. He may have been strange, but at least he was consistent.

The men that had shown interest in his past had all ended up being complete weirdos in the end! He was beginning to think that he was a bit of a ‘crazy-magnet.’

Levi knew that men found him attractive, that much was evident. He’d felt eyes watching him across the bar more times than he could count, and he’d received his fair share of date proposals and corny pickup lines, but somehow dating had just never worked out for him. Guys that had seemed really keen just days before had cancelled on him over and over again, using pathetic excuses that only a moron would believe. 

They’d often come up with stories of mysterious illnesses that had appeared overnight, or outrageous lies that their car engine had been tampered with, or their tyres had been slashed. 

If those things were true then Levi wouldn’t have wanted to begin a relationship with them anyway. It must have meant that they had a stalker, or a vengeful ex or something. Why else would a person get their car tyres slashed? They obviously had a lot of drama in their lives, and Levi was not willing to get involved with that level of craziness. 

He wanted a nice, peaceful life. He didn’t have time for other people’s bullshit, or their lies. 

Over the years Levi had dealt with enough craziness to last him a lifetime! Every time he thought that his luck was beginning to turn, and he’d actually found a respectable man, they would prove him wrong within a matter of months.

Mike, the last real boyfriend that he’d had was a prime example. He’d turned out to be a liar, too. 

He was a gentleman, or so Levi thought. The professor had met him at a bar one night, their eyes met across the room and the spark was instantaneous. After he had bought Levi a drink, the two had talked for hours, and he’d offered to buy all of Levi’s drinks for the rest of the night before asking him on a date. The places they went together were all pretty extravagant, so it was obvious that he had money to spare too. For a while, Mike had seemed like Levi’s perfect match. He was caring, ambitious, fun! There was nothing about him that Levi didn’t like.

Mike had told Levi that he was a lawyer, which had explained all of the extra cash that he had to throw around on their outings together. 

Like a fool, Levi had believed him. After all, why would he be lying? 

He never gave Levi excuses like the others had. When he found out that his car wouldn’t start one night, he simply walked over to Levi’s house. It had taken him over an hour to walk in the rain, but he still did it. Levi had scolded him heavily when he arrived, but the gesture had made the professor’s heart sing, even though he wouldn’t show it. 

When Mike had fallen ill before one of their dates, he invited Levi over for a night in with him. Where others would have cancelled, Mike persevered. They had spent the night sitting at opposite ends of Mike’s sofa watching movies so Levi wouldn’t catch his illness. They weren’t intimate that night, or even close, but Levi didn’t mind. It was just night to spend time with him. 

It all seemed to be going so well, in fact they had been dating for almost nine months before shit hit the fan. 

Levi was in shock when he found out. The man that he thought was his ideal match turned out to be a fraud.

Mike had been arrested for possession of class A drugs, and all of a sudden everything fell into place. 

Levi thought that it was strange that a busy lawyer would have so many free evenings to spend with him, but Mike had insisted that he freed up his time especially for Levi.

Of course, that was a lie! Levi felt so foolish for believing him, but more than anything he was hurt.

Mike spent so much money taking Levi on dates because he had the disposable income: not from being a high-flying lawyer, but from selling drugs! The moment that Levi found out, a part of him died. The naive, child-like part that believed in happily-ever-after. The happy, trust worthy side that expected the best from others. From that moment onwards he had sworn that he wouldn’t trust anybody, ever again, and so far he had made good on his promise to himself.

The bastard never actually ended up serving jail time, the police didn’t have enough evidence against him, but Levi didn’t care. No matter how many times Mike had begged and cried and insisted that he was an innocent man, Levi was done with him. 

He was a liar, and a damn bad one at that. He swore that he didn’t know how the drugs ended up in his car, but drugs don’t just magically appear out of thin air! He must’ve taken Levi for a joke! 

It was a messy break-up, but it had to be done. It hurt like hell, but it had made the man so much stronger than he was before. Being alone for so long had shown Levi that he didn’t need anybody else in his life to be happy. He had learned to exist on his own, and he knew that if he ever decided to let anybody into his heart again it would be because he really wanted them.

Levi hadn’t been able to trust anybody for years. It seemed like he was a magnet for insane men, and he promised himself that he would never let himself be hurt like that, ever again. 

However...

He walked back into his dining room, tracing the elegant details of the table spread. Red, scented candles were lit, flames flickering, casting brightness across the dimly lit room. The house was immaculate, clean down to the tiniest nook. He’d even been and bought expensive white wine in an elegant looking bottle to decorate the table for the occasion. It looked lovely, and it was evident that Levi had put in the upmost effort, but he couldn’t help but feel worried by that fact. 

Why was he doing all of this? 

He’d sworn off unstable men, and Eren was about as crazy as it got! He’d literally followed Levi halfway across the country just to attend his class. He’d doted on Levi since he was a child, and Levi had promised himself that what he felt toward the boy was nothing more than lust. 

So why then? Why was he putting in so much effort? 

This wasn’t supposed to be a date, he had just wanted a place to have sex where the two would actually have some privacy. At least, that’s how it had started. 

Maybe it was the talk with Erwin that had excited him a little too much. Maybe he had become a little too confident. He wasn’t sure exactly what it was that had made him cross the line from just sex to feelings, but now here he was, opening himself up once again to the possibility of a real connection. 

He’d sworn that he wouldn’t date another crazy guy, but with Eren it seemed different. He was totally weird, eccentric, soppy, but he was also romantic and caring. When the two were together it was as if nothing else in the world existed. 

Levi had considered the fact that maybe it was just because Eren was so intense. He hardly had the capacity to think about anything else when he was around, maybe that’s why he felt that way. It could have been because he had been alone for so long, it could have been because he knew that Eren would never leave, but he couldn’t deny that over time some pretty serious feelings had blossomed.

Eren made Levi happy, but the thing that he liked the most about Eren was the fact that he was truthful. Sure he was kind of obsessive, but he’d never tried to hide that fact. He’d approached Levi and told him about his intentions on day one, and little by little he’d managed to win Levi’s trust, and in turn, his heart. 

Eren was unpredictable, and the professor wasn’t sure exactly what he was capable of, but he knew that Eren loved him, and that made him feel safe. 

For some reason, Levi trusted him, and that was rare.

At least he didn’t try to hide his true self like all the others. He was an open book, a book that Levi could read over and over and never get bored. 

Maybe letting such an unpredictable boy into his life was a foolish move on Levi’s part, but for a connection as strong as this one, he was willing to take the risk. 

Suddenly the noise of three, hard knocks sounded through the house, and Levi could feel his heart jump in his chest. Eren was here, and to his surprise Levi was growing increasingly nervous. The professor gave himself a final check over in the mirror before he made his way to the door. His heart was pounding, but he told himself that it wasn’t a big deal. He hadn’t had a man over at his house for a long, long time, it was only natural that he would be a little anxious. 

Levi swung the door open and his jaw dropped. 

Eren was standing in the doorway. His hands were full with flowers, wine, chocolates, the lot! Levi was a little taken aback, this wasn’t what he had been expecting at all. He hated the fact that the sight of the gifts made him feel special, but as he looked at Eren’s eager face, he couldn’t help but feel like a lucky man.

“Holy shit.” 

Eren looked amazing, as always. It seemed as if he was dressed for an outing rather than a casual house date, but that only made him look even hotter. Levi wasn’t used to seeing him in a blazer, and he certainly wasn't prepared for how muscular his arms would look pushed up against the thick fabric. God fucking damn. It was one of the rare occasions that the boy had worn his sleek hair down rather than bunched up at the back of his head, and holy fuck he looked divine. His hair was tousled: not curly, but not quite straight either. It framed his handsome, heart shaped face perfectly, and the darkness of his hair only exaggerated the piercing colour of his eyes. 

“Levi,” the boy beamed, a goofy smile spread across his face that made Levi feel warm inside. “Hey.” 

He watched smugly as Eren’s eyes widened, looking up and down Levi’s body hungrily. The outfit seemed to be doing the trick, and the professor couldn’t have been happier about that. Of course, it had never failed him before, but Eren was a lot hotter than the men he’d been with in the past. It gave him a special sort of satisfaction to see a guy like Eren check him out.

“Hey.”

 

The professor lead Eren into his house and toward the dining room, and he couldn’t help but notice the way that his eager eyes scanned every detail of the interior. He’d never seen the boy so observant before, it was odd, but strangely endearing. 

“It’s beautiful in here,” the words drifted out from between his lips aimlessly as he paced slowly through the hallway, eyes tracing the details of the decor. It was so clean, so elegant. “Exactly how I imagined it. I can’t believe that I’m finally getting to see the inside of your house after all this time!” 

Levi choked on a laugh. “You’ve been imagining my house?” He turned to Eren with a joking smirk on his face, finding humour in the shocked look that he gave him in return. The phrasing of Eren’s statement however, made Levi feel a little uncomfortable. The inside? Eren had never seen the outside of his house before either. He’d never even seen his street, right? 

Well it didn’t matter, it was obviously just bad phrasing. Eren was a weird guy, and by now Levi was used to him saying strange things. In fact, it would’ve been more odd if he didn’t.

“You make it sound like it’s weird to do that.” Eren grinned, giving Levi’s arm a playful tap. “I think it’s a pretty normal thing to do. I always wondered how someone who can throw an outfit together as well as you can would decorate.” 

“Tch,” Levi huffed, gazing up at Eren with his dark, steely eyes. “Oh please, nothing you do is ever normal.” He could feel a genuine smile tugging at the corner of his lips, and he could see Eren doing the same. “And stop buttering me up, it’s sickening.”

“Oh, is that so?” His voice was low, and coy. The boy took a step towards Levi, placing a big, warm hand on his shoulder. The way that he towered over his professor gave the man chills, and he couldn’t help but lean in a little closer. 

“You could perform the most normal task imaginable and still find a way to make it... abnormal, somehow.” Levi’s said the words jokingly, but he couldn’t deny that there was some truth behind them. 

“Well then,” Eren took his hand and stroked it up the side of Levi’s soft face. He could see the faintest hint of a blush begin to creep up his cheeks, and the sight of it gave Eren a sudden surge of passion. He could feel himself bending down automatically, closing the gap between Levi’s face and his own, inch by inch. “I hope you’re ready for a pretty abnormal night then.” He purred, delighting at the lustful expression on Levi’s face. 

“You know I am.” 

Levi took Eren by surprise when he raised himself onto his tiptoes so their lips could meet in the middle. His slender arms wrapped themselves around the boy’s waist, holding him tightly as their lips parted, and their tongues connected. Eren almost dropped the flowers and the bottle in his hand, but he managed to keep hold of them, instead bringing his free hand up to cup his love’s cheek tenderly. Eren had only been in Levi’s house for a matter of minutes, but already the spark had ignited, and their magnetism had pulled the two together again. 

There was nobody here to see them, nobody to hear them. It was just Eren and Levi, alone. Just knowing that fact made this kiss sweeter than all of the others before it.

Levi pulled away, panting lightly, face flushed from the embarrassment of his own forwardness. Would it really have hurt him to just control himself for a couple of hours? Damn brat, this was the effect that Eren had on him.

“Calm down tiger,” he breathed, not really sure if he was addressing Eren, or himself. “This can wait, I’ve cooked dinner.”


	30. Candlelight

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Ok, so this is a longer chapter, and it's also quite an intense chapter so TRIGGER WARNING: Please think before reading if you are likely to be triggered by issues surrounding death/ mentions of death/ suicide. 
> 
> Stay happy people :) 
> 
> *Also if you get confused about the whole Christingle bit then look at the notes at the bottom :)

Candlelight had always been one of Eren’s favourite things in this world.

Before he had seen Levi for the first time, he was sure that there was nothing in existence that was more mesmerising, more beautiful than the flickering of a gentle flame as it ate away at a candle’s wick.

From early childhood, to the present day, the dim light of a candle made Eren feel calm. 

The flame felt like home.

That fact was particularly evident when he gazed over into Levi’s gorgeous, steely eyes across the table, and watched the candle light dance in them.

Levi was his love, his home, his everything. Levi was all that Eren had, and all that he would ever need.

 

Candlelight often brought Eren back to the happy memories of his childhood, to the days when his mother would tuck him and his dear sister Mikasa into bed together, planting a gentle kiss on each of their foreheads as she told them in that hushed, soothing voice of hers that she loved them. 

Her hands always looked so tiny and delicate when she struck a thin match across the matchbox to light the candle by their bedside. 

When the match caught fire, Eren was always mesmerised by its light. 

Every night, Carla would read to her two children, and every night Eren would watch the vibrant, dancing colours of the light on his plain, white ceiling. Flickering yellows and oranges were cast across the room as the candlelight burned by his side, and his sister would snore quietly, like a purring kitten. 

He would often drift off to sleep to the sound of his mother’s sweet voice, and his eyelids would flutter as they shut, keeping the image of the flickering light with him until he nodded off. 

For years, Eren’s mother would repeat the same ritual, every night without fail. 

Carla would read to her children, kissing them on their precious heads, and watching them fall asleep. Eren and Mikasa looked forward to their mother’s stories each night, but as they soon found out, their happiness wouldn’t last.

Before long, Eren began to wake to the sound of his mother coughing and spluttering. She was loud, very loud, so loud that Eren would be able to hear her from across the hall. At first it had worried him greatly, but when his father assured him that there was nothing to worry about, he soon settled. He thought nothing more of it, and why would he? His father had told him that everything would be ok. 

As the weeks progressed however, the coughing got worse. It became louder, and more frequent, and sometimes the noise would be accompanied by a quiet wheezing. The worry began to grow again, and Eren often spent his nights listening out for his mother’s gentle sobs. 

Over the months, Eren noticed his mother growing thinner, frailer. She was struggling to finish her meals at the dinner table, and at night her coughing fits sounded painful. Eren had bolted into his parent’s room multiple times in the early hours of the morning, fearing that Carla was unable to breathe. She was painfully slim now, and she was coughing in-between words as she read Eren and Mikasa their bedtime stories, but still she persevered. 

The times when she would strike her match and read to her children by candlelight were the only times that Eren saw his mother smile these days.

One night, Eren’s sister had fallen asleep, and he could hear the soft purrs of her gentle snoring beside him as he lay in bed, gazing up and the candle light dancing on the ceiling as he always did. The story had finished, but for some reason Carla was still sitting in their bedroom.

Eren closed his eyes, ready to drift off to sleep, and that’s when she spoke to him. Her voice hoarse, and sad, in a way that he’d never heard before, and it intrigued him in the worst way. 

“Eren,” she croaked. The boy opened his eyes. He looked over at his mother, and he saw her bright, green eyes begin to well with bitter tears. “I want you to promise me that no matter what happens in your life, you will always look after Mikasa.” 

Eren wasn’t sure what was going on. What was she talking about? And why was she telling him this now, whilst Mikasa was asleep? 

“I love you son, you’re a light the darkness of this world.” 

Eren didn’t know why, but he felt his breath hitch in his throat as she spoke. It felt wrong, very wrong, but he didn’t know how to react. He simply placed his arm on his sister’s waist, snuggling into her closer as she slept, completely unaware. 

“Don’t ever let your light go out, my love.” Carla’s voice was so quiet, so husky. It wasn’t what Eren was used to hearing from her, but it was the last of her voice that he ever heard.

His mother simply stood after that, walked out of the room.

The next morning, Eren and Mikasa awoke to the bitter, harsh sound of crying. Deep, throaty sobs echoed through the house, and Eren recognised the voice. 

It was his father, Grisha. 

“E-Eren...” Mikasa dizzied out of her sleep, grasping at her brother’s hand as an adrenaline fuelled panic began to wash over her. “What’s going on? Why is daddy crying?” 

He didn’t know why, or how, but somehow Eren knew. He just knew.

Eren never saw his mother alive again. It was sad, but that was the way that it was.

 

Moving on with life after losing Carla was difficult, but the three of them together made it work. Mikasa became much clingier, following Eren around wherever he would go, and every night Eren would fall asleep to the sound of his father crying himself to sleep. 

That was just how life was now. Everything was worse now, but a a family, they were getting by.

Grisha had urged Eren and Mikasa to make friends in the neighbourhood. He wanted them out of the house most days, probably so he had more time to cry, Eren assumed.

He was around ten years old when he Mikasa, decided to make a club with the local kids in their neighbourhood. They met a small, blonde haired boy called Armin, along with some other kids, and for a while everything was going well.

The family lived by a park, so there was never a shortage of things to do for the kids in the area. A thick wall of colourful conifer trees surrounded the area, and Grisha didn’t mind the two playing there because he could still see them from his house. Eren and Mikasa aptly named their club ‘The Conifer Club’ and the name stuck with the kids in the neighbourhood. Soon enough everyone wanted to join, and slowly, piece by piece, he began to rebuild himself. He was happy here, he had friends, a loving sister, and a father. 

He missed his mother dearly, but he knew that everything was going to be ok now. At least... that’s what he thought.

Mikasa was the most popular kid in the club. She was strong, fast, and really cool! Of course, most of the kids in the Conifer Club wanted Mikasa to be their leader. It was a pointless title for a pointless club, but the kids seemed to think that it was important, and the thought of it made Mikasa happy, so Eren didn’t protest.

There was another kid however, Jean, who decided to rival her. He was blonde, and he kind of looked like a horse, and he decided to declare himself as the leader, against Mikasa’s wishes. It was clear that he liked the girl, he was always following her, watching her, and Eren thought that maybe he was just trying to impress the girl. It was kind of cute actually.

The two lit candles in a hollowed out tree that the neighbourhood kids called ‘The Den.’ It sat in the centre of some of the tallest trees, and most of the time, the kids weren’t allowed to go there. 

Grisha had told his children that it was dangerous, but Mikasa was determined to beat Jean. 

Eren watched as candlelight flickered against the worn out bark, casting shadows in Mikasa’s big, brown eyes. He just knew that his sister was going to win, she had that look on her face, the one that she would always have before she beat Eren in a video game. 

He could barely wait! 

After a fearless debate the rules were decided: Jean and Mikasa would climb the highest conifer tree in the entire park, the one that everyone’s parents had forbidden them from climbing. Whoever could climb to the highest branch would win, and Eren would be waiting at the bottom to blow out the candle of the losing contender. 

Jean was blushing when he and Mikasa shook hands, and before they knew it, the two began their journey, climbing higher and higher, branch by branch. 

The children weren't aware that Grisha was watching them like a hawk. 

He watched as his daughter approached the tree, he watched as she swung herself up onto the first branch with ease, and then he ran. 

However, it was too late. 

Jean was gaining on Mikasa at rapid speed. She wasn’t expecting the boy to be as good at tree climbing as she was, and she began to panic. She knew that she had to win, her brother was counting on her! 

She yanked herself upwards onto the highest branch that she though would be safe, but just a moment later, Jean joined her. He flashed her a dazzling smile, happy to have matched her skill, hoping that he would have finally impressed her. 

If only he had known that Mikasa was far from impressed. She didn’t like to lose, she hated it. Her eyes scanned the branches above her, and that’s when she spotted it. There was another, thinner branch above her, just within her reach. She knew that if she could make it up there, she could beat Jean, and claim leadership over the Conifer Club. 

It could probably hold her weight... probably. She had to try.

For Grisha, it all happened in slow motion. He flung open the front door, running as fast as his legs could carry him. Grisha was screaming, roaring until his throat seared with pain, stretching his arms out into the air helplessly as his beautiful daughter grasped at the the tree branch above her. 

There was a deafening crack as it snapped under the weight of her body, and Grisha and Eren watched as her delicate body dropped to the ground. 

She fell, directly onto her candle, extinguishing the flame that had danced in her eyes only moments before.

“M-Mikasa... hey...” The girl’s body lay in front of him, an expression of pure terror painted onto her face, permanently. “T-this isn’t funny... don’t pretend... wake up...”

Mikasa was gone. 

 

It took years before either Grisha or Eren were ok again, but after a while, the two tried to move on. 

Grisha had become strict, stern, and seemingly uncaring, and Eren had become more than a little troubled. The two barely talked any more, when they did it would only turn into an argument about something or other, so what was he point?

That was why when Grisha had offered to take Eren out camping for his thirteenth birthday, it came as a bit of a shock. His father was always so strict, and so mysterious now. Eren barely talked to him these days, and he had always assumed that his father never loved him like his mother or his sister did. 

He knew that he wasn’t exactly going to expect a riveting conversation from Grisha when he accepted his invitation to the camping trip, but he was intrigued. Eren’s father didn’t often want to spend time with him, and so he went along willingly, with hope in his heart. 

Grisha had been pretty much silent for weeks now, but since he had invited Eren out on a camping trip, it must’ve meant that he was finally recovering. Eren was excited, he could feel his heart swelling. Maybe after all this time, a member of his family would actually want to spend time with him again. 

Maybe now, Grisha was ready to rebuild their bond as father and son. 

As the bright, scorching sun hung in the sky, and the day went on, Eren began to regret his decision wholeheartedly. 

Grisha presented him with chore after chore. He made Eren put up the tent by himself, he made him cook the food, and hunt it too, teaching Eren how to capture and kill a rabbit to the best of his ability. It was hardly Eren’s idea of fun, but he would never say no to his father. 

Grisha was all that he had left.

He had spent the entire day telling Eren that ‘he was a man now!’ that ‘he needed to learn to do things for himself,’ and that ‘he wasn’t a kid any more.’ 

Eren was only thirteen. He didn’t look like a man, he didn’t feel like a man, but if his father told him that he was one, then he must’ve been right.

When the silver moon finally rose up into the night sky, Eren was utterly exhausted. He flopped down into his sleeping bag with a loud thump against the ground, groaning as he revelled in the dull aching in his arms and legs. 

The boy felt frustrated, used. Why had his father invited him here? Some birthday this had turned out to be.

It was utterly ridiculous to make your own son do all the work for you whilst you sat back on your ass and watched. Eren was just about ready to never talk to the man again, but that was when it happened...

Grisha pulled out a pocket lighter, igniting the flame with a flash of golden light. His hand delved back into his pocket and a tea-light candle emerged with it. Grisha held the flame against the wick until an orange ball of fire sat on top of it, illuminating the dark, grassy area around them. Grisha wanted to look at his son's face that night, but he didn't want his son to know why.

Eren’s eyes were instantly drawn to the light that danced in the creases of the tent fabric, the flickering brightness that mesmerised him down to the core. 

Then Grisha said it. For the first time in a long time, the words left his lips. 

“Eren, my son. I love you.” 

For a while, Eren was in disbelief. Grisha hadn’t told Eren that he loved him in years, and it came as a bit of a shock, to say the least. 

“I hope that you can forgive me, for all that I have done wrong.” 

Eren was stunned, he was just a child... or maybe he was a man, he didn’t know. He knew that what his father had said to him was important, it was real, but he didn’t know how to react. He simply stared up at the fabric of the tent in silence, watching the way that the candlelight danced upon it so beautifully. 

Thinking back, Eren could distinctively remember glancing over at his father, noticing the way that his dull eyes stayed fixed on the ground below him.

Grisha was all that Eren had left, and Eren was all that Grisha had too. 

Eren knew that he was a dull boy, he knew that he wasn’t enough for to keep his father happy. He wasn’t kind like his mother, or strong like his sister. With all of his heart, he knew that he had to tell Grisha how much he needed him, how much he depended on him! He just had to say it! How else would he know? 

Eren tried to speak, but somehow his lips stayed sealed...

Then, Grisha blew out the light. 

Eren had said nothing, he stayed silent, and that was the last time that Eren ever saw his father.

Eren woke up in the morning to a rough hand shaking his shoulder. His eyelids fluttered open, and he expected to see his father’s dull eyes staring down at him. Instead however, he saw a middle aged, blonde woman in a luminous jacket. The badge on her breast read: Police. 

It wasn’t long before Eren began to panic.

His father was gone, and no matter how much he screamed and pleaded with the officers, they wouldn’t tell him what was going on. They lead him to their car, and sat him in the back seat whilst he cried and kicked and screamed. 

It was hours before Eren learned that his father was dead. He’d hanged himself from the branch of a tree during the night: no warning, no suicide note, only a will that left everything that he owned to his son, Eren Jaeger. 

 

Eren was left alone in this world. He had no family, just memories, and now money. He resided in foster homes, unable to access this money until he was eighteen. He hated the foster homes, he hated the fake-parents, and he hated his life. For a long time he drifted apart from his friends, and from everyone else in the world. All he wanted to do was wait until he was eighteen, take his money, and go somewhere far away, away from all of the pain and the sadness. However, during that wait, his life was turned upside-down.

He was fourteen, and he’d just started at a new school when he first laid eyes on Levi.

His current foster family were religious, and so they sent him to a Christian school. Eren however, despised religion. 

There was no god, and even if there was it was obvious that he hated Eren. Eren therefore showed the big man upstairs the same level of courtesy. He would disrupt church sessions, swear at teachers, act out in any way that he could. All of the teachers at Chapel High were morons anyway, it’s not like he cared what they thought of him... until one fateful day.

Eren was an atheist, and so of course, he resented Christian ceremonies such as Christingle services. The entire school would sit in a church, holding ripe oranges, stabbed with toothpicks balancing sweets, and snacks. They were supposed to represent Jesus’s body or some shit, but whatever. It was all a load of crap anyway. Eren only endured the ceremonies because he got to eat the liquorice that was stuck to the toothpicks as the priest spoke.

There was one element of the ceremony however, that Eren didn’t entirely hate. That was the candle. 

He got to sit at the back of the church, holding the Christingle in his hands, watching the flame simmer away.

He had always loved candles, and candle light.   
It had always reminded him of the way that the candle light reflected in his mother’s soft, brown eyes.   
In his fathers subtle, but loving glance.  
In his sister’s determined glare. 

That’s why when he saw Levi that day, holding the flickering, lit Christingle, he knew that he was the one. 

The new teacher walked into the room late, holding his Christingle in one hand, unlit. Eren didn’t care about a new teacher. To him, teacher’s were simply tools for him to mess with. His eyes stayed fixed on his own burning candle, nothing more. 

He didn’t even want to give this new asshole a single glance. What was his name again? Mr. Pacman or some crap? Yeah whatever, he was probably going to be a thorn in his side just like the rest of them. That was why Eren groaned in annoyance when this new teacher came and sat down by his side. 

Eren was disruptive so often that the teachers would make the boy sit at the back with them instead of at the front with his peers. It was frustrating to say the least. 

As the man came and sat down by Eren’s side, he couldn’t help but notice how small he was. Eren smirked, this guy was probably a complete pushover, he was definitely going to have some fun with him. The second thing that he noticed however, was the man’s scent. It was kind of... sweet, but musky at the same time. Eren couldn’t quite put his finger on it, what was that smell? It was... really good...

The boy took a deeper breath, leaning in just a little closer to his new teacher to try and put his finger on what that beautiful scent was, but that was when he realised his mistake. It was obviously some kind of cologne, and Eren had just breathed in way too much of it. He could feel the inside of his nose begin to tickle, and his chest began to heave in air involuntarily. Damn it, the uncomfortable sensation built up in Eren’s face until he exploded, sneezing all of his Christingle, putting out the candle light instantly. 

Shit, no! The candle was the only thing that was keeping him sane throughout this stupid service! He needed to relight it, and fast! 

“Miss Nanaba...” Eren whispered. The teacher to his left ignored him, instead looking on ahead. “Miss... Miss Nanaba!” He said it a little louder, and the woman turned to the boy with a scowl on her face. 

“What is it Eren?” She snapped, trying her best not to draw attention to herself. 

“My... My Christingle, the candle has gone out!” He told her, but the woman simply rolled her eyes and sighed. 

“There’s nothing I can do Eren,” she whispered, “I’m sorry, but you’ll just have to deal with it.” 

Eren could feel his heart drop to his stomach. He couldn’t believe it, he would have to sit through this entire damn service with no dancing flame to watch. What a pain! That was until...

“Here.” 

The voice that called out from beside him was low, calm, monotone. Eren turned to look at the man by his side, who held a flip-lighter in his hand. With one swift flick of his wrist, the flame was ignited, and Eren’s world changed forever. 

The flame danced in his new teacher’s eyes, and it illuminated the boy’s pounding heart. He barely even noticed as the man bent down to re-light his candle, or when he swiftly lit his own as well. All he could focus on was the man’s eyes. 

They were dark, and steely. Kind and gentle like his mothers, stern and dark like his fathers, wild and determined like his sisters. Eren had never seen eyes like these before. He was mesmerised by them.

That’s when Eren looked at his new teacher, really looked at him. He was... gorgeous! He looked so peaceful, so beautiful, so surreal as he held that burning candle in is hands. 

Eren knew, he just knew.

The dancing, orange flame flickered in his glistening eyes, and all of a sudden Eren felt like he was home again. It had been a long time since he’d felt that way, since he’d felt as if he had a home at all. Yet here it was, all this time it had been lost in this man's dark eyes.

Eren knew that his home was there: his forever was with this man. He didn’t know who he was, or where he came from, but he knew that he needed to be by his side until the end of time.

The man was so blissfully unaware of the way that he carried that flame in his eyes, and at the end of the service, when the candle burned out, dripping hot wax that hardened on the ripe skin of the orange and extinguishing the candle-light, that flame stayed present in his steely eyes.

Eren knew that whatever happened, he needed that spark in his life until the day that he died.

This man was the one. 

Eren had never been more sure of anything in his entire life.

And if anybody tried to take him away, Eren would unleash seven layers of hell and more upon them to get him back.

 

Eren stared at Levi across the table, his stomach full of wonderful food, his heart full of love. 

He watched as the flames of the deep, red candles flickered in Levi’s gleaming eyes. Just watching the light dance against his irises felt peaceful, as if Eren was in a blissful dream; one from which he never wished to wake up. He could barely believe that he had this perfect man right here in front of him. 

It was almost surreal. 

“Levi.” He sighed, resting his face in his hand as he gazed over at the man that had captured his heart all those years ago. 

He was perfect, wonderful, and Eren swore that he would never let him, go.  
He would never let another flame go out, and of that he promised himself. 

That was why when he gazed over at Levi, he didn’t just see a professor, a project, a man. He saw his family, his happily-ever-after, and there was nothing in this world that could change that. 

“I can’t believe that we both bought the exact same bottle of white wine!” Levi exclaimed, pouring the last droplets from the second bottle into his own glass. The two had finished both bottles with ease, and by now Levi especially was beginning to feel the effects of the alcohol. 

Levi’s eyes felt fuzzy, his head felt dizzy. He gazed over at Eren with pure admiration in his eyes, and as much as he wanted to grab the boy and kiss him until he couldn’t breathe, he kept his cool... for now.

“Dinner was lovely,” Eren smiled, letting his eyes drift down to his empty plate, then back up to catch the candlelight flickering in Levi’s eyes. His love was so beautiful that it hurt.

“Yeah?” The professor could feel his face heating up. “Well good, I would’ve kicked you out of you’d said it was shit.” 

Eren chuckled happily, setting his empty wine glass down on the side. “I’ve really enjoyed the night so far,” he grinned, delighting at the fact that Levi’s face lit up when he spoke. “I could talk to you forever... I could look at you forever too.”

“Tch,” Levi gave in to the smile that tugged on the corner of his lip. “You’re so soppy.” He swiftly downed the last of his drink, all the while he was staring at his date. Eren looked delicious, for lack of a better word, and Levi could feel that magnetic pull once again. He was drawn to him, so very drawn to him. Now that they were alone there was no reason to hold back. They were finally in the privacy of Levi’s own home. Nobody would walk in, nobody would catch them together, and Levi finally felt comfortable. 

“Aww c’mon,” Eren laughed. “Don’t you like it when I’m romantic? I thought that it’d make you feel happy.” 

Levi let an arrogant smirk form on his face, and all of a sudden, Eren liked where this was going. 

“It makes me wanna take you to bed.” 

Levi let the words come out smoothly, sensually, and he could see Eren biting his lip in response. 

“I... oh... fuck...” Eren stumbled over his own words. He knew that Levi would want to take him to bed at some point, but he wasn’t expecting it to be so soon. Eren wasn’t at all unhappy though, this was an offer that he could not, and would not refuse.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> * Ok so I went to a lame Christian school, and there's this weird service thing that they do around Christmas where you take an unpeeled orange, stick four toothpicks in with sweets on them and stick a candle in the top. Basically the candle is meant to symbolise Jesus being the light of the world (the orange is the world lol), it's all kinda fun to be honest. It was much funner than being in class :)


	31. Relinquished Control, Gained Control.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> DIS IS NOT SAFE 4 WORK

Levi’s slender arms were wrapped around Eren’s shoulders, his fingers knotted in long, dark hair. 

When Levi was arranging the dinner table earlier that evening he hadn’t expected that it would only be a matter of hours before he would be sat on top of it, legs spread apart as his lover grasped at his slender thighs, kissing him hungrily. 

Eren was not playing games tonight. 

His warm hands stroked up and down Levi’s legs, higher and higher, until he was massaging the tightening crotch of the man’s trousers. Levi broke the kiss for a moment so he could look up into Eren’s dazzling, green eyes; he couldn’t help but smile. They had only been making out for a minute or so and Eren was already making him painfully hard. It reminded Levi of the first time that they had been intimate together, the way that Eren had practically begged to touch him. He was desperate, insatiable, ravenous, but all of that seemed like such a distant memory now. Their first time seemed like so long ago, and Levi had assumed that Eren had learned some self control since then.

Evidently not.

His hands were moving more quickly than his brain, one grasping at every inch of Levi’s ass that wasn’t pressed against the table-top, the other now fumbling at the older man’s zipper. 

“Woah, slow down there!” Levi grinned, pulling Eren’s hair back just hard enough to earn himself a sharp gasp. “At least take me up to bed!” 

The boy’s eyes widened, his brow raised, and Levi swore that he could see a whole other universe in his dilated pupils. “Don’t wanna,” Eren breathed. His fingers had halted at Levi’s zipper, but his thumb was still massaging his hardened length through the thin fabric of his clothing. “Been waiting for so long,” his teeth caught his love’s bottom lip in a tender clasp, and he could feel his cock twitch in excitement as the sound of Levi’s gentle moan echoed through the room. “Wanna hear you moan properly.” 

“Tch,” Levi pulled his face away swiftly, breaking the kiss with a loud pop. Their lips were still joined by a shining thread of saliva as Levi scowled up at his student. “You’re so damn impatient,” Levi tried to sound stern, but truth be told he was just as hot and bothered as Eren was. “And what do you mean by ‘properly’ anyway? Were my previous sounds not good enough for you or something?” 

“What? That’s not what I...” Eren tried to defend himself, but his professor simply tugged him back into another rough kiss. Eren’s entire body tingled, Levi’s kisses always felt like magic. They were addictive, and it was so, so hard to pull away, but when he finally did... “What I said before... all I meant was... we’re finally alone now.” He gave Levi a devilish smirk, and the smaller man melted into Eren’s body like hot butter. “No need to hold back.” 

The professor raised a brow, taking in the look of excitement on Eren’s handsome face. He was right, after all. Ever since the moment they had met, there hadn’t been a single moment that they had been truly alone together, until now. From the sex at the hotel where Erwin had embarrassingly heard them, to the almost silent sex in the storage closet that had left Levi with an obvious bruise to the face, there had never truly been a time where they didn’t have to hold back in some way. 

This was the first opportunity that the two had to really let their wild sides out, and in the comfort of Levi’s own home, the two were very willing to do just that. 

“Well then,” Levi purred, stroking his hand through Eren’s soft hair as he gazed up into his eyes. “Are you gonna carry me up to bed?” 

“Hmm...” Levi could see the fire behind Eren’s eyes, and he knew that the boy meant business. “I don’t think I will actually.” 

Levi scoffed, “excuse me?” 

“You heard me,” Eren teased, running his hand over Levi’s fabric coated length. “I’m going to make you come in every single room of the house, and since you’ve put on such a nice spread I think I’ll start right here.” 

“Do you think I’m a fucking machine?” Levi spluttered, equally daunted by the prospect of Eren’s statement as he was aroused by it. He couldn’t possibly come to climax that many times in one night, could he?

“We’ve got all night, Professor.” Eren leant down, towering over Levi like a predator. As his love leant backwards instinctively, Eren’s strong arm held him in place, and his other carefully pushed aside plates and glasses until there was a clear space across the table top. “There’s no need for sleep tonight, I finally have you all to myself. There’s nothing that can stop me now.” 

“E-Eren...” Shit. Levi felt like fucking child when he stumbled over his words. “I’ve got work tomorrow...I’ll be exhausted...” 

“And I have class.” Eren smirked, and Levi could feel his legs tighten around Eren’s hips. “But we can both just be exhausted together in the morning, I promise I’ll make it worth your while.” 

Fuck. Levi wanted to argue, he wanted to protest. Deep in the back of his mind he knew that would be the right thing to do, but his physical urges were overpowering in this moment. 

Eren was so damn persuasive, and he didn’t even have to try. Levi still remembered what Eren had said to him in the spa at the hotel, the way that he told Levi to let himself experience what he wanted to, and to live his life for himself, nobody else. Levi thought that the feelings that made him give in to his urges would be fleeting, but those words had stayed with him. 

Eren had completely changed Levi’s perspective on life, and Levi knew that he’d changed it for the better.

The old Levi would have been sensible, he would’ve made sure that he got enough sleep, he would’ve taken Eren up to bed and fucked him once, maybe twice if his body would let him. Then he would’ve dozed off and made sure he was up bright and early for work. 

Levi now however, well, he was a little different. Eren had brought excitement back into his life, and now he felt like he understood the value of truly living. 

He knew that when he looked back on his life, he wouldn’t remember the night that he went to bed early and got a good nights rest. He wouldn’t remember his sensible, rational choices; but would he remember the night that his smoking hot, young lover fucked him senseless in every room of his house? Thrusting and sucking and fucking until his body physically couldn’t take any more? Yes, he would definitely remember that. 

Nights like these were worth the discomfort and exhaustion of the next day. Nights like these were what made life worth living, and with Eren around, Levi was sure that he would experience plenty more nights like these.

Fuck everything and anything else. This moment right here and right now was all that mattered. 

Levi set his sights on Eren, and in that moment, he surrendered himself completely. 

“You make me feel things,” Levi breathed, still a little unsure about the words that came out of his mouth. That didn’t matter though, they flowed from him naturally, and he could feel his walls begin to crumble as Eren held onto him tightly. “Things that I haven’t felt before.” 

“I do?” Eren thought that his heart had stopped, was Levi finally?... no way...

“I’ve always been so damn stubborn. My life was always structured and sensible and I’ve always been so rational. But then I met you and... and...” Eren’s bottom lip was trembling as Levi spoke. This was it, this was the moment that he had been waiting for his entire life. “I just don’t seem to be able to control myself. Against my better judgement I just can’t stay away from you, and it’s like nothing else matters and all I want is more and more of you.” 

Fuck, Levi knew that he was rambling. 

He was aware of the fact that he couldn’t take these words back once he’d said them, but he couldn’t stop himself either. It was almost like word vomit, the words just kept spilling out in torrents. They’d been held in for so long, and now that the flood gate had been broken there was no stopping the tsunami of emotion that spilled from between Levi’s lips. “Since you came into my life again I’ve found joy and happiness where I hadn’t before. In a way Eren, you’ve freed me... and I just don’t... I don’t understand why. What is this? It doesn’t make sense... I don’t...”

“Shhhh.” 

Eren placed a finger against Levi’s lips, hushing the man into silence. The boy’s entire being had been enveloped by a certain lightness, as if he were floating. It was like their bodies had disappeared, and now the two were nothing but spirits, connecting as one for eternity. “Levi,” Eren knew that his words came out shakily, he was trembling too much to stop it. “What you’re describing, I understand it. It’s called love.” 

“But I can’t... I...” 

Surely not, surely it couldn’t be. Levi knew that his feelings for Eren had grown to astronomical proportions, but could he really be in love with him? From day one he had promised himself that he wouldn’t let his little crush on the boy go too far, and yet here he was. Eren had brought him excitement, happiness, comfort, lust, safety, stability... he could go on. In fact, as he’d gotten to know Eren better he realised that there was nothing about the boy that he didn’t like. 

He had spent so long pushing his feelings to the bottom of his heart, but somehow they had always managed to rise back up again. Eren had proven himself over and over. He was intelligent, dedicated, caring, passionate. He was beyond beautiful, and he loved Levi more than anybody ever had. It seemed like Eren’s entire world revolved around Levi, and as much as the professor knew that fact should scare him, it didn’t. It somehow made him feel safe, in fact, it had made him feel that way for a very long time. 

Wow, what an idiot he had been. Levi felt like his soul was ascending, rising upwards as if it were ready to connect with the boy above him. He had spent so long trying to deny it, hoping that it wasn’t possible, that he had been blind to the truth. 

Of course he loved Eren. 

He may have tried his very best to keep those feelings at bay, but the fact that they had still risen to the surface only made Levi more sure of the truth. 

Holy fuck. He was in love... with his own student... with Eren. 

“Levi,” Eren’s voice called out into the candlelit room, and Levi was drawn out of his mind and back into the room. The first thing that he noticed was Eren’s stunning eyes looking back at him, and he smiled. “It’s ok.” Eren’s voice was soothing, “I’m not going to rush you into thinking about your feelings right now, let’s just experience this moment, together.” 

It was too late for that, Levi had already let his realisation explode into his mind like a glitter bomb, but somehow the words that Eren just spoke were exactly what he needed to hear. 

“Then fuck me,” Levi breathed, grasping at Eren’s toned arms with slender fingers, letting the nails dig into his soft skin, just a little. “Do it right here, on the table.” 

Eren grinned, the look in his eyes was predatory. “Oh don’t worry,” he said, “I was planning to.” 

In no time at all Levi’s trousers were thrown onto the floor, and the two lovers were connected at the lips once again. Eren lubricated his fingers with his own saliva, and although it wasn’t much, it was just enough for him to slide up inside Levi without any obstruction. The penetration was harsh and rough, and Eren’s single finger brushed up against Levi’s prostate with the first thrust. The subtle burn felt wonderful, and all the professor could do was throw his head back onto the table with a high pitched squeal. 

“Louder,” Eren commanded, watching Levi’s face intently, waiting for the pleasured expression. 

“Make me... Ahhhh!” Levi tried his best to be smug, but it was so difficult when a part of Eren was inside him like this. 

The sensations that Eren gave him were so perfect. He knew exactly when to add another finger, exactly when to move them, and where to hit. It was as if he had learned every intricate detail of Levi’s body in such a short period of time. It went without saying that Eren knew exactly when Levi was stretched out enough for him, but the boy still liked to toy with his professor for a little longer then necessary sometimes.

“I’m r-ready for you now, Eren.” At those words, the boy halted his movements. It was almost painful, feeling the loss of that building pleasure.

“You’re ready?” Eren cooed, “you sure?” 

“Tch,” Levi huffed dramatically. Of course he was sure, he wouldn’t say so if he wasn’t. Usually he would shoot Eren a snide comment when he asked, but honestly, Levi appreciated the boy’s concern. As annoying as Eren could be, at least he cared. 

“I’m ready.” 

Eren smirked down at his love, unwinding his hands from Levi’s body and bringing them down to the buckle of his belt. Levi heard that metallic clink, and he could hear the fabric shift until Eren was stood before him with his length in his hand. 

“Come on professor,” Eren breathed. The eagerness was evident in his voice. “I want you bent over the table.” 

Levi could feel an electric shiver shoot up his spine at those words. Fuck, he wanted this. He knew just how good it felt, but for some reason, Levi felt as if he had been missing out on something. As much as it drove him crazy to be dominated by the boy’s superior frame, something inside him was craving a little difference tonight. 

“No.” 

Eren’s smile dropped into a blank stare. “No?” 

“You heard me, no. Not tonight.” 

Levi’s body was acting on instinct. He wasn’t sure exactly what he was doing, or how he was going to do it, but for now it was coming naturally to him. 

The older man shimmied himself off the table and stood before Eren. The boy had a bewildered look on his face, but the sparkle in his eyes screamed excitement and whimsy. With one swift push of his hand against Eren’s chest, he willingly fell back onto the table. His back was pressed against the hard wood, and his eyes were fixed on his love, who stood above him. 

“Tonight, I wanna see the look on your face when you reach your peak.” Eren almost melted at Levi’s tone. His voice sounded stern, authoritative. It was the same voice that Eren had fallen in love with all those years ago in class, the sort of voice that commanded respect. Eren would’ve been a fool to deny him what he wanted right now, partly because he feared the consequences, mostly because he didn’t want to. 

“Yes sir.”

Slowly, Levi began to crawl on top of Eren, closing in on him menacingly. Eren could feel every hair on his body standing on end as he watched his love closing in on him. He was mesmerising, the way that he moved was so graceful, so delicate that all Eren wanted to do was grab him and pound into him until he couldn’t walk. Yet here he was, as still as a statue, paralysed by nothing more than Levi’s command. 

His wide, green eyes followed Levi as he raised himself upwards, displaying his perfect form in it’s entirety. God he looked so damn good, so slender, yet so toned. The way that his hair fell over his steely eyes, the way that those eyes stayed fixed on him, it was the most erotic thing that Eren had ever seen. 

Levi took Eren’s length into his hand, stroking it teasingly, coating it with the boy’s own glistening pre-come. “You’re practically dripping,” Levi teased, an air of arrogance in his voice. “You really want this, don’t you?” 

“I...I...” Somehow it was hard to form words right now. Eren was so taken in by his love that hadn’t even contemplated the concept of speech. Levi’s delicate hand felt so good on his dick that it took him a moment to process what was going on, but eventually he managed to breathe “yes.” 

“Hmm,” Levi sighed, “good.” 

Slowly, he raised himself up a little higher, positioning Eren’s tip at his entrance with one hand. The other stroked up the muscular contours of Eren’s body until he found the boy’s trembling hand, and their fingers knitted together. As Levi sunk himself down into Eren’s length, their hands squeezed, and Levi let out a loud groan that would rival a fucking porn star. 

That stretch, the fiery burn, the way that Eren’s thickness filled him up. All of it was overwhelming. It felt so damn good that Levi had to take a moment to let his body adjust to the new sensations, but that moment was fleeting, and soon enough he began to move. 

Eren was completely taken aback as he watched his professor ride him like a god damn pro. The way that he moved his body was hypnotic, and Eren couldn’t take his eyes off him. This was new, it was exciting, it felt amazing. With nothing else to concentrate on, or to do, Eren could already feel the threads of pleasure beginning to build up within him. He tried to will them away, urging his body to last longer, but he had no control over them now. The boy was completely and utterly at Levi’s mercy, and that was not a feeling that he was used to.

For the first time, Eren had completely surrendered himself.

Levi couldn’t believe that he had never done this before. He felt so powerful, so in control. He could make himself last as long as he wanted to, taking Eren’s length at his own pace. This way, he could watch Eren; really watch him. The look on the boy’s face was like nothing that he had ever seen before. 

Eren lay there on his back, his eyes fixed on Levi’s body as if he were in a trance. Levi could see his face growing redder, his shoulders beginning to tense as if he were trying to hold himself back. What could he do though? When Levi’s tight heat was rubbing up and down his throbbing shaft relentlessly, could he really hold back? 

Levi knew the answer to that, of course he couldn’t. 

Eren was completely and utterly under his control, and Levi loved it. 

“L-Levi... I can’t... I can’t last... I... You need to slow down... p-please...” 

How cute. Eren wanted Levi to slow down? Ha! Not a chance!

Oh god, how delicious. Levi had never seen Eren babbling so pathetically before. It was so satisfying. This little shit, since the day that he’d stepped into Levi’s classroom all that he’d done was make his life hard... along with other things. He’d teased Levi in public, brought him up to the point of ecstasy at the most inappropriate of moments. 

This was Levi’s revenge. 

Now he finally got to watch as Eren’s glistening eyes gazed up at him in desperation, and his teeth clamped down on his bottom lip to try and mask the pleasured cries that threatened to escape him. The look in Eren’s was begging, pleading with Levi to give him grace. But Levi was relentless, merciless. He wanted to watch as every detail of Eren’s face twisted, he wanted look right into his eyes when the pleasure built up to the point of climax. He wanted to see what Eren looked like when he was utterly helpless, and his entire body was taken over by his animalistic instincts.

He wanted Eren to feel better than he had ever felt, and he wanted to keep that mental picture with him until the day he died.

“Maybe if you keep begging like that I’ll do what you say,” Levi lied. 

Of course, he wouldn’t relinquish any of his control, not this time, but he loved the way that Eren pleaded with him like a slut. 

“I j-just wanna last for you... this feels t-too good... if you keep going like this then I’ll...” 

Eren cut himself off with a deep, lustful moan. The sound of it echoed through the room, and sang in Levi’s ear drums like a melody. Fuck this brat made some hot noises when he was being fucked. The sound of them only spurred Levi on further in a quest to her more and more of them. He knew that Eren wanted to last, but he didn’t care. The boy’s cock felt so good inside him, and Levi wanted to come to the sight of Eren’s O-face. 

“Levi, please!” Eren’s hand was grasping onto Levi’s so tightly that he thought that it might break. His mouth was agape, and his eyes were gazing up at his love longingly. He was on the brink of his climax, that much was evident. “I’m so close... I... Fuck.” 

Eren threw his head to the side, but Levi’s hand grasped at his cheeks pulling it back. “No,” Levi commanded, “look me in the eyes when you come Eren Jaeger.” The sound that left Eren’s lips was somewhere in-between a whimper and a moan, and Levi could feel the slickness of his pre-come drenching his insides, making it even easier for him to move. 

“Oh fuck Levi... fuck, fuck, don’t stop!” 

This was it, Eren was close, snd Levi wasn’t far behind him. The sight of Eren underneath him was turning him on more than he had expected it to. He looked so damn gorgeous down there, his eyes practically welling up with tears as the pleasure threatened to take him over. His tip was pounding against Levi’s prostate, and the professor knew that it would only take him a quick few strokes to finish himself off, but first...

“I’m... I’m coming! Fuck, Levi... I love you.” 

The man watched as Eren’s bottom lip began to tremble, and his mouth hung open in awe. The intricate details of his face began to change: brow furrowing, eyes narrowing as if he were fighting to keep them open. The sounds that left him were so damn delicious that Levi thought he had died and gone to heaven. Watching Eren’s face when he came was just about the best thing that Levi had ever seen, and soon enough he found himself stroking his rock hard length at the sight of the boy coming undone underneath him. 

“I’m gonna... Fuck!” 

The ecstasy peaked and Levi climaxed with a wanton wail, shooting hot strings of come across Eren’s shirt, and up onto his chin. The boy accepted them willingly, in fact, he looked more than happy to be painted with the products of their love-making. Levi moved through the last lingering threads of pleasure, eventually coming to a halt, and falling down onto Eren’s heaving chest. 

For a little while, the sound of nothing but heavy breathing echoed through the room as the two caught their breath and composed themselves. 

“That was... wow.” Eren’s words had left him, and he wasn't sure if the words even existed that could express his level of appreciation for what Levi had just done to him. 

“Yeah,” Levi panted in agreement. “It really was.”


	32. I Love You

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Thank you all so much for your continued support! I really appreciate every single one of you and you've all made me feel so happy whilst writing this! I wasn't sure how it would go, but it's been so well received so far and everyone had been really lovely so again, thank you :)

“Ahhhhhh, fuck Eren, I’m gonna.... Agh!” 

Levi’s words echoed through the room at an alarming volume as Eren’s skilled mouth worked him up and down under the covers, bringing him to yet another groundbreaking orgasm. Eren swallowed his love’s load willingly, and before too long the only sound to be heard was heavy breathing. 

“See,” Eren panted, pulling the covers from over his head so he could look at Levi’s angelic face. “I told you that you could come again, didn’t I tell you?” 

Levi smirked down at his young lover, noticing the twinkle in his eyes. Eren was so full of excitement and life. He was a fire that never burned out, and he brightened up Levi’s world. 

“Yeah, I guess you were right.” 

The two smiled at each other sweetly, and before Levi even had time to compose himself Eren shifted himself upwards behind his love, and wrapped his strong arms around him. The man felt so small and delicate in Eren’s arms, but most of all he felt safe, and happy. 

The soft, black strands of Levi’s hair tickled Eren’s chin and neck, and the boy nuzzled himself even further into the subtle scent of coconut. 

“How many rooms have we done now?” Eren asked in excitement, speaking quietly into Levi’s ear. 

The professor thought for a moment: They’d had sex on the table, Levi riding Eren’s dick in a sudden shift of dominance. Then Eren had bent Levi over the kitchen counter and had fucked him until he almost snapped in half. After coming so hard twice in a row Levi was sure that he was spent, however as the two tried to make their way up to the bedroom Levi had thrown Eren down on the stairs, taking as much of his still hard cock into his mouth as he possibly could until the boy came down his throat, yelling his name in a mantra. Finally they made it to bed, and Eren tried his very best to convince Levi that he could go another round, going down on his love and proving himself right. When Levi cursed into the air as he came, Eren felt victorious. 

“Technically four rooms,” Levi said “if you count the stairs.” 

Eren grinned, planting a tender kiss on Levi’s neck. “Yeah I count the stairs. That’s four then.” The boy sighed happily, tightening his grip on his professor. His heart fluttered when he heard Levi practically purr in response. “Four times,” the tone of his voice was dreamy, and he stroked his bottom lip up and down the shorter part of Levi’s undercut. It was strange, but intimate. “I remember imagining this so many times. Pining to make love to you even if it was just one time, and here I am, making love with you four times in one night!” 

Levi was glad that he was facing away from Eren, because his cheeks began to glow bright red. “Well we didn’t exactly manage every room in the house, did we?” 

“Doesn’t matter,” Eren smiled. “There’s plenty more time for that.” They had the rest of their lives to complete their mission, and honestly Eren didn’t care if they ever fucked in every room or not. As long as he could be by Levi’s side he didn’t care. 

“I guess you’re right,” Levi replied, curling his toes up to stroke Eren’s soft legs. He felt warm, and he could feel the first waves of tiredness begin to wash over him as he snuggled down into Eren’s superior frame. He was about to suggest going to sleep, but that was when Eren spoke. 

“Hey Levi,” he called a little too loudly into Levi’s ear, and the man groaned in response. 

“What is it?” 

“Are you going to the winter ball this year?” 

“The... I mean yeah I guess I have to go.” He furrowed his brow, turning to face the boy. “You’re not gonna ask me to go with you are you? You know I can’t do that, right?” 

Damn moron, it’s not like the two were anywhere near being in the position to be able to walk hand in hand into the winter ball! They couldn’t even be seen together in public, not really anyway. 

“Actually, I wasn't going to ask that,” Eren admitted. He shifted his weight against Levi tenderly, softening his iron grip and stroking his thumb up and down Levi’s slim arm. “I was hoping that you’d be there, but I’m going to be there with Historia.” 

Historia, that little...

Just the sound of her name was like a punch the gut for Levi, and all of a sudden he felt angry, sad and humiliated all at once! Here he was thinking that the boy he loved was going to ask him to the ball, but no, of course he was going with his stupid fucking girlfriend. Damn Historia, with her perfect figure and her beautiful face and her lovely hair. Ugh! It made Levi sick. 

“Oh,” Levi tried his best not to sound too disappointed, but he was never one to succeed in masking his emotions around Eren. 

“It’s not like I want to or anything!” Eren cried, tugging on Levi’s arm until the two were facing each other. “She basically cornered me and asked me, and I couldn’t exactly say no! Rod Reiss is one of the event hosts!” 

Levi knew that what Eren was saying made perfect sense, but in his state of exhaustion and newly realised love, his jealousy was flaring up again. 

“Sure, whatever.” Levi huffed, rolling his eyes and staring blankly across at Eren. “Just don’t make out with her anywhere I can see you, it’s disgusting.” 

“Hey! What!?” 

Without warning, Eren rolled over on top of his love, straddling him and trapping him underneath his muscular body. Eren’s hands pinned both of Levi’s wrists down to the bed at either side of his head, and his seductive, emerald eyes burned holes into him. 

“Tch,” the professor grumbled, “get off me, moron!” 

Levi wanted to seem at least mildly intimidating, but it was incredibly difficult to do so when he couldn’t even keep his damn brow furrowed. Eren’s long, smooth hair fell down by the sides of his gorgeous face like a waterfall. His eyes glistened in the moonlight, and the devilish smirk on his face made his heart pound. God damn he looked so perfect right now. Just as he always did. 

“I asked if you’d be there so I could sneak off and be with you! I don’t care about her!” Eren spoke truthfully, and he could see Levi’s expression soften in response. 

“Tch.” 

“Listen to me.” Eren’s voice was demanding, it commanded respect, and attention. “One day we’ll be able to be together properly, and we won’t need to hide any more, ok?” 

Levi mumbled something under his breath that sounded like an agreement, then he looked up as Eren with those cold, steely eyes that made his heart melt. 

“The only reason that I’m pretending to date Historia is so you don’t lose your job, but the only thing that I really care about is you. I might have to hold her hand, dance with her, kiss her; but the only person in this world that I actually want to do any of that with is you!” Eren’s tone was becoming desperate, and his eyes pleaded with his love to please, please believe him. “Don’t you understand that?” 

Levi sighed deeply. Of course, Eren was right. He understood completely, but that still didn’t silence his jealous, bratty side. He hated that he felt this way, he was so ashamed.

“I know,” he frowned, no longer daring to meet Eren’s intense gaze. “I know you’re right, I don’t mean to react that way I just get a bit...” 

He froze mid sentence, and Eren could feel his fingers trembling. “A bit what? Levi.” 

“...jealous.” The word came out so heavily that Levi felt as if he had been crushed by a concrete block. “I’m a grown ass man and I’m jealous of a little girl,” he murmured, “you must think I’m pathetic.” 

Eren gasped audibly. One of his hands moved from Levi’s wrist to his face, holding it in place so the man couldn’t look away. He needed Levi to look into his eyes, he needed him to know the enormity of the wrongness in his statement. 

“Don’t you ever speak about yourself that way,” Eren hissed. Levi was a little shocked, this was the angriest that Eren had ever acted toward him, but the boy still wasn’t threatening. “Don’t you say a bad word about yourself Levi Ackerman. You’re the most amazing person that has ever existed, and will ever exist, ever! You’re my... everything. And I love you. I love you Levi! I love you!” 

“I...” Levi’s lips parted slightly, and Eren could see the reflection of the beautiful, white moonlight in his eyes. His voice was soft and breathy as he spoke, and as soon as the words left his mouth Eren almost collapsed. 

“I love you too, Eren.” 

 

 

The two were awakened by the sound of falling rain outside. The gentle pitter-patter created the perfect white noise. Levi’s eyes fluttered open reluctantly, but of course Eren was already awake. He was a much lighter sleeper than his love, so the first raindrops had dizzied him out of his dreamless sleep before Levi had a chance to stir. 

Eren had hooked his arm underneath Levi’s neck, wrapping his other around his waist, holding him close. It was perfect, the perfect way to sleep... or at least it was at the beginning. After a while the weight of Levi leaning on Eren’s arm gave him a rather uncomfortable case of pins and needles. The tingling feeling grew until it was painful, and after half an hour or so his arm was completely dead. 

Obviously he could’ve just moved his arm at any time, but that would mean disturbing Levi. If he took his arm away then that would’ve been a part of him that wasn’t as close to his love as it could be. So Eren lay through the pain and the numbness until the next morning. 

As Levi stirred, it took him a moment to fully realise the situation he was in. He was in his own bed, with Eren by his side. That fact made him feel warm inside, and for once he didn’t hate it. 

“M-morning...” he grumbled, sitting himself upright, dragging the crisp, white duvet upwards to shield his naked body from the cold. 

Eren sighed in relief, going to move his dead arm, and then realising that he couldn’t. Shit, he would have to wait for the feeling to come back first. Instead, he simply rested his head on his other arm and gazed up at Levi with dilated pupils. 

“Good morning, my love.” 

Levi shot Eren a disapproving glance, but his frown soon faded into a subtle smile. 

“What time is it?” He asked, his voice still groggy from waking. “My alarm hasn’t gone off yet, has it?” 

“Not yet,” Eren told him, blowing a rogue strand of hair out of his face and grinning up at Levi lovingly. “It’s only seven AM, we have plenty of time.” 

“Pffft!” Levi huffed, “for you maybe, but I’m a teacher I need to arrive much earlier than you do.” 

Levi swung his legs over the side of the bed, and Eren found himself completely dumbfounded, yet again. There he was, standing completely naked in his perfect form. He was silhouetted by the clouded, morning light, each beautiful feature exaggerated in the glow. Before Levi had a moment to stretch or wake up properly, Eren was on him. 

“Wha...?” Levi cried. “Are you a fucking ghost or something? I didn’t ever hear the bed move!” 

Eren had partly regained feeling in his arm, and both of them were now wrapped around Levi’s shoulders, holding him tightly against him. His head was bowed so his nose could nestle in Levi’s soft hair, and his frame towered over the smaller man dominantly. 

“I’m just giving you a morning hug,” Eren chuckled, spinning his love around so the two were face to face. Eren’s large hands came to rest on Levi’s slender shoulders, and he glared down at the man with burning, emerald eyes. “I didn’t think you’d mind since you’re in love with me now.” 

Levi’s breath hitched in his throat. Of course... he’d actually said it out loud, hadn’t he?

“You said it yourself last night, my love.” Eren grinned, pulling Levi into a suffocating embrace. “You said it, and it was the best night of my life.” 

 

 

Bloody hell! If Levi had known that Eren would be such an annoying brat about it then Levi would’ve taken his time to admit his feelings. 

As Levi changed, Eren ran to make him a coffee, refusing to relinquish the much needed beverage until Levi said it again. 

“I love you.” 

As the two made their way downstairs to leave the house Eren ran to open the door for Levi, although as he tried to pass he had stated that the toll for passing through was a tender kiss, and yet another...

“I love you.” 

Levi drove the two of them to university together. He had offered Eren free reign over the music, but the boy had told him that he would rather just sit and talk with him the entire way. The prospect made Levi’s heart flutter... that was, until the boy started talking. 

He would chorus stupid crap over and over: 

“So, do you still love me?” 

“What does it mean now that you love me?”

“Are you my proper boyfriend now? ... Y’know, since you love me..”

Levi could feel the frustration burning up inside him at the repeated questions, but for some reason he couldn’t stop smiling. It had taken him a great deal of courage to admit his feelings to Eren, and even though he knew that they were completely reciprocated, he wasn’t expecting Eren to be so damn excited! 

“So are you...?” Eren Began, but Levi interrupted him. 

“Listen up brat because I’m only going to say this once.” Levi’s harsh tone cut through the air like a sharp knife, and Eren could feel himself melt as that perfect, authoritative tone. 

“Yes, I love you. No, my feelings are not going to change over-night, I obviously still love you. I don’t know how it’s going to change things between us, maybe things won’t change at all but... I guess... If you want to call me your boyfriend then that’s fine.” 

Eren’s face lit up like the northern star, his smile spread wider, his eyes glistened with joy. 

“O-Of course... you still can’t tell anybody about us!” Levi yelled, suddenly concerned when he saw the expression on Eren’s face. “Hey Eren... stop looking at me like tha... AGH!” 

As Levi pulled onto the road that would lead them to Sakura, Eren pounced onto him, lathering him with kisses all over his face, his neck, his shoulders. 

“Hey, cut it out!” Levi grinned, “I’m trying to drive here!” 

“S-Sorry!” Eren smiled, “I can’t help it!” 

Levi continued on down the road towards work, and as Eren lavished him with kisses and praise he couldn’t help but feel happy. Much happier than he had ever felt before. 

He kept one eye on the road whilst he glanced over at Eren’s excited, handsome face. “You’re a moron.” He smiled, taking his hand off the gear stick for a moment to place in in Eren’s lap. “I love you.”


	33. The Winter Ball: Part 1

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Sorry that my chapters aren't updated as quickly these days, I'm right in the middle of my summative deadlines for uni :) <3 Thanks for all being patient!

Eren couldn’t believe it. Finally! Levi was his, and his alone! All of the hard work that he’d put in over the years had paid off, and Eren was on top of the world. 

He’d practically skipped into class that day, his contagious smile stretching from ear to ear. All eyes were on Eren as he waltzed to the front of the class, greeting students that he barely spoke to as if he had known them all his life. Ymir grimaced at him as he shot her a dazzling smile and greeted her with a cheerful “Hey Ymir!” 

The two barely spoke, in fact Ymir hated Eren. Why was he being so nice all of a sudden? What was he up to? 

“Eren!” The boy heard the familiar, sweet voice call out from behind him, and he spun around to see Historia smiling at him sweetly. She looked beautiful today. Her hair cascaded down her shoulders, her body wrapped up in a pink, oversized jumper that made her look even smaller than she was. Eren grinned at her appreciatively, backtracking to wrap the girl in a warm hug. 

Historia gasped, melting into her boyfriends loving arms, and in turn wrapping hers around his waist. 

This was new, Eren was never really the affectionate type, and yet here he was holding her in his arms in front of all of these people. She could feel her heart fluttering, and her posture softening into him. 

He seemed to be in a good mood today. Maybe he was finally ready to stop being so distant. 

“I’m glad to see you!” Eren smiled down at her, taking her hand and leading her to the front of the class to sit by his side. 

He meant what he said. He really was happy to see her today. Normally he couldn’t wait to get away from her these days, but if it weren’t for Historia then Levi and Eren would’ve been discovered after their incident in England, and then who knows what would’ve happened! 

Historia may be in the way a little, but that wasn’t her fault. He really needed to appreciate her more.

“I’m... glad to see you too...” She blushed deeply, trying to avoid Eren’s line of sight so he didn’t notice her reaction. 

Eren felt amazing, ecstatic. Nothing could possibly bring him down and he wanted nothing more than to share his happiness with everyone around him. He heard the door click, and those delicate, little footsteps patter across the floor. 

It was Levi, he just knew that it was. 

The professor approached the front of the class with a subtle smile on his face, and when he turned around his eyes were drawn straight to Eren. The two shared a knowing glance, and Levi let his smile deepen, just a little. 

“That’s weird,” Historia whispered, “Professor Ackerman actually looks happy for once.” 

Eren sniggered, turning to Historia and grinning like a school kid. “You’re right,” he told her, looking back over at his love in adoration. “He does look happy.” 

 

The next few weeks carried the same energy as that day. 

Eren was cheerful, Levi was smiling. Every few days or so Eren would end up back at Levi’s place, and they would re-live that first date night over and over. They’d managed to fuck in every room of the house twice over, and when their bodies grew weak from exhaustion they would lay in bed and talk until the sun came up. The weekends were always the best, when the two had time to cuddle up in bed and sleep in until mid-day. Sometimes they would lay in all day and watch cartoons, other times they would wrap up warmly and hike through the surrounding forests. 

By all means, Eren and Levi were slowly but surely settling into a comfortable, and happy relationship. 

As the bliss filled days passed by, Levi began to wonder why he was ever worried about letting Eren into his heart at all! He was happier now than he had been in a long time, and the more time that he spent with Eren, the deeper in love he fell. 

So Eren was his student? So what! 

The circumstances in which they had met no longer mattered to Levi in the slightest. Eren may have been younger, he may have been eccentric, maybe even a little obsessed, but those things didn’t matter either. He was the most attentive and caring boyfriend that Levi had ever had. He was funny, and kind, and the way that he was full of surprises kept Levi on his toes. 

Levi couldn’t wait for the day that Eren finally graduated. Once he was no longer Levi’s student then the two could finally be together for real. Levi would get to walk around hand in hand with the boy, show him off to the world! No more secrecy, no more lies, no more Historia. 

“Tch,” Levi huffed to himself as he neatened his tie in the mirror and swallowed the anxious feeling in his throat. Tonight was going to be difficult to say the least. 

It was finally the night of the winter ball, and Levi knew that he would have to watch the boy he loved dancing with that little, blonde fuckface all night. 

The professor combed his slender fingers through his freshly washed hair and sighed. The more that he fell in love with Eren, the harder it was to see him with Historia.   
Of course, it wasn’t like their relationship was real, but for some reason every time Levi saw her stupid face he wanted to double drop-kick her off a fucking cliff. It was stupid, he knew that. The girl was actually very sweet, but every time Levi saw her dirty hands all over his man it filled him with rage. 

That’s why tonight in particular was going to be a fucking nightmare. 

Levi took one last look at himself in the mirror. He looked good, presentable enough. He’d even bought a new, fitted suit for the occasion. His favourite part of the suit however was his tie. He’d seen it in a shop window, sitting there all dazzling and shiny and emerald green and he knew that he just had to have it! It was the exact came colour as Eren’s eyes, and so as it hung down by his chest, right by his heart, it felt like he was carrying a part of Eren with him whenever he went. 

Of course he would;d never tell Eren that though, it would be way too embarrassing.

“Ugh,” he sighed as he turned and made his way towards the front door. 

‘Let’s just get this over with.’

 

Eren knocked three times on Historia’s front door. This was the first time that he had ever been to her house, and he had wanted to avoid going at all if possible. This however could not be avoided. It was the night of the winter ball, and as much as Eren didn’t want to go, the thought of seeing Levi suited up made it worthwhile. 

Eren could hear heavy footsteps approaching him, and the door flung open. Rod Reiss was standing on the other side, smiling up at Eren and stretching out a chubby hand. Eren shook the man’s hand firmly, giving Rod his best fake smile. 

“Eren!” He cried, leading him inside the well decorated house. He wiped his shoes on the doormat as he came in, and the first thing that he noticed was the decor. Almost everything looked expensive here, down to the last detail. Even Reiss’s suit itself looked like it cost a damn pretty penny! 

“Tch,” Eren huffed to himself. He probably bought it with Annie Leonheardt’s stupid bribe money. What an asshole. 

“You’re looking very smart, Jaeger.” Reiss grinned as Eren followed him through the hallway, toward the front room. “You’ll be pleased when you see Historia today, she looks stunning.” 

“Thank you, sir.” 

Eren turned the corner, and there she was. Her brilliant, blue eyes widened when she saw him, but the blank expression on Eren’s face didn’t change. 

Historia looked... dressed up. 

She stood in the corner of the room, sipping on a large glass of rose wine. Her blonde hair was pinned up bridal style, and she wore a long, floating dress that skimmed the wooden floor. The fabric looked expensive, and it was a gorgeous sky blue colour, but Eren wasn’t particularly impressed.

Usually, Eren thought that Historia was beautiful, but today however he was looking at the girl through different eyes. Her makeup was too heavy, contour painted onto her face like a tiger’s stripes. Her smile was no longer sweet, and there was a certain sadness in her eyes that dimmed the natural light of her aura. 

Of course, to the average person Historia was still very pretty, but to Eren she had become a burden. Even though it was no fault of her own, the fact that Eren had to take Historia just made him feel angry. It meant that he couldn’t take Levi, and he knew that he would spend the entire night imagining what it would be like if he could dance with his love in the public eye without anybody batting an eyelid. 

Although being with Historia made it possible for Levi to keep his job, she was just standing in his way tonight. He didn’t want to be here, not one bit.

Eren wished that he could be walking into the ballroom with Levi on his arm, not Historia. He knew that Levi would have to watch him with her tonight, and he knew that seeing them together would only make his love feel bad. That fact shattered Eren’s heart into pieces, he couldn’t bear to think about Levi being sad because of him.

“You look lovely,” Eren said, his voice stale and uninterested. 

“You too, Eren!” She smiled at him sweetly, but it was as if her heart wasn’t in it. “It’s great to see you, it feels like we haven’t been able to spend time together for quite a while.” 

Eren paced over to the girl, planting a brief kiss on her forehead and taking her delicate hand in his. “I’m sorry about that,” he sighed. “I’ve just been so busy with uni work.” 

“I see.” 

“Don’t worry though,” Eren made sure that he looked right into her eyes as he spoke, and he could see Historia’s expression melt into one of calmness. “Let’s enjoy ourselves tonight!” 

“Yes,” she grinned, taking a large gulp of her wine. “I’d like that.” 

 

Historia’s father drove the three of them to the event, blabbering away about this and that as if any of them really cared about what he had to say. Historia put her music on the radio, humming along to her favourite pop songs quietly for the entire journey. 

Eren sighed, he couldn’t wait to get the hell out of this car. Between Historia’s terrible music and Rod’s incessant babbling he wasn’t sure how much more of this he could take. If he had to listen to one more Taylor Swift song, or hear another story about rich old men he thought that he might have to knock the Reiss’s out! The only thing that kept him from barrel rolling out of the car door was the fact that he would be able to see his love soon. 

By the time that the car pulled into the car park Eren practically dived out of the car, slamming the door behind him and scowling out into the distance. The car ride was a nightmare, but at least now he was finally here. 

He skidded round to the other side of the car, helping Historia out of the door in the fashion of a true gentleman. Eren could see Rod Reiss shoot him an approving nod, and he nodded back to him reluctantly. Eren hated Reiss, but he did need the man to think that he was worthy of his daughter. If Rod Reiss didn’t trust him then that would only make things more difficult for him and Levi. 

As the group approached the ballroom, the noise of soft music filled the cool air. Historia clung to Eren’s arm, steadying herself as she stumbled on her high heels. Eren tensed his arm, making himself the perfect balancing post as he smiled down at her. As much as she annoyed him sometimes she was very cute. She would make a wonderful wife for someone someday. Just not him. He wished that whoever was meant to be with her could come and sweep her off her feet tonight, but he knew that he wasn’t going to be that lucky.

Eren placed his hand on the door and took a deep breath. 

Here goes.

He swung the door open and the three of them stepped inside. Historia gasped in amazement, tugging on Eren’s arm and staring up at him with the lights of the room twinkling in her eyes. 

“Wow!” She exclaimed, “It looks beautiful in here!” 

Eren cast his eyes across the room. The lighting was dim; sparkling, white fairy lights were dotted in every corner. There were tables decorated with elegant cloths and bottles of bubbling prosecco, and at the far side of the room there was a raised stage, and a microphone. There were two bars, one at either side of the room, and Eren knew that if he was going to find Levi anywhere, it would probably be there.

“It’s still a little quiet yet,” Eren didn’t look at Historia once as he spoke, his eyes still searching the room for his love. “So let’s sit down for a bit and have something to drink.” 

Where was he? The teachers were all supposed to be here early. Maybe he was a little late or something, but that wasn’t like him. 

Eren led Historia to the closest table, his eyes still scanning the room for the one person that he wanted to see. Historia was beginning to feel the lack of interest, and by the time Eren looked back over to her she was sat with her arms folded, sticking her bottom lip out like a sulking child. 

Shit. Eren needed to stop fucking up like this. He needed to keep Historia happy and interested! He should be paying her more attention, but it was so, so difficult when he knew that Levi was possibly somewhere in the building.

“Historia,” Eren said, voice like velvet as he took her hand in his own and gazed into her eyes. “Let me pour you a glass of prosecco, you deserve a treat tonight.” 

Her face lit up, and just like always all of her animosities melted away at the sight of her boyfriend’s loving face. He may have been a little distant, and he may have not have a lot of time for her, but he was still her man. “Yes please!” She beamed, stroking over his knuckles with her thumb. 

Eren took the bottle in his hand, popping the cork with ease in an impressive display of strength that had Historia weak at the knees. He grasped the stem of the delicate glass, tilting it to the side and letting the golden, fizzing liquid spill out into the cup. Eren concentrated on pouring the bubbling drink, slowly so it didn’t overflow, and he could see Historia watching him in his peripheral vision. 

Then all of a sudden, he heard the door click behind her. That was when he saw him. Just behind Historia, his entire world walked into the room, and nothing else in this world mattered any more. Eren was staring right past Historia, watching as Levi was accosted by an already tipsy Erwin, who seemed more than happy to see him. 

Eren’s heart began to pound, hard and heavy. 

His love looked so beautiful that it was unreal, and Eren was in a trance. His elegant, black suit was tight against his slender body, his hair was neat and shiny. A tie as green as Eren’s eyes hung over his crisp white shirt, and as he flashed his best friend a dazzling smile Eren just about melted into his seat. 

“Eren...” Historia’s voice was nothing but a gentle hum in the background until... “EREN!”

Fuck, fuck, fuck! Eren was still pouring the prosecco, which was now spilling over the rim of the glass and onto his hand. 

“Shit!” Eren hissed, straightening the glass and slamming the bottle onto the table with force. The liquid fizzed on his skin, and Historia’s face was turning red with embarrassment. 

“What are you doing?” She scolded, furrowing her brow and widening her eyes at the same time. This was the first time that Eren had seen the girl look angry, and god damn he did not want to see that face ever again! “Be more careful, you’ve spilled all over the table!” 

“I-I’m sorry! I just zoned out for a second!” 

The sound of the commotion drew Levi’s silvery eyes in their direction, and Levi couldn’t help but grin a little as he watched Eren desperately try to dab up the wetness on the tablecloth. 

Erwin smiled at Levi warmly when he saw the look on his friend’s face. It seemed that Eren was just about as much of an idiot as Levi was, and Erwin thought that the two were utterly perfect together. He watched as their eyes met across the room, and a crimson blush spread across each of their faces. 

Erwin laughed quietly, making sure that Levi couldn’t hear him. 

Eren and Levi may have been in a difficult situation, but the two were made for each other. Erwin could just tell.


	34. The Winter Ball: Part 2

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> ok so maybeee I stayed up until half past two in the morning writing the next chapter so I could update twice within 24 hours :') I guess when you've got the drive to write you've just gotta get it done :)

As the night went on, the room filled up with girls dressed in pretty dresses, and men in smart suits. The occasional few broke the code, Ymir being one of them. Even though she was a woman, she wore a suit that looked nicer than most of the men’s. Her slim waist was exaggerated by a patterned waistcoat, and for once she had worn her hair down. This was probably the nicest that she had ever looked, Eren thought. It was also the most that Eren had ever appreciated her presence before, as in this moment she was on the dance floor with Historia, spinning her around like a record. 

Both girls had genuine smiles on their faces, and Eren couldn’t help but grin at the two tipsy, dancing girls. Maybe when Eren finally left Historia, she could be with Ymir. Eren thought that would be a good idea, the two obviously got on very well, and Eren got the feeling that Ymir would take care of Historia. It was obvious that the girl liked her, maybe even loved her. When Eren was done with her, he wouldn’t mind handing her over to Ymir at all, she seemed... worthy enough. 

The music played on, the crowds kept dancing. Levi and Erwin had been standing at the bar for at least an hour now. Eren had been watching them intently, and it seemed that the two were working in rounds to buy alcoholic drinks. Levi was a much smaller man than his friend, and Eren watched as he began to stumble a little, and his face grew progressively redder whilst Erwin looked as sober as ever. 

“Eren,” Historia’s slurred voice tore his eyes away from the professors, and he turned to see her blushing face smiling down at him. “Get up and come dance with me silly! You can’t expect Ymir to fill in for you all night!” 

The girl sounded a little drunk, her voice was high pitched and her eyes were a little red, but overall she looked like she was having a good time. Eren supposed that it was his duty to show the girl some fun whilst he was here, after all he had only come here to please her. 

He stood up tall, and he could see Levi’s eyes on him from the corner of the room. He didn’t want to so much as look at Historia when he knew that Levi was watching him, never mind touch her, but he knew that he must do what had to be done. He stretched his arm out and took the girl’s cold hand, trying to ignore Levi’s burning stare from across the room. “Come on, let’s dance.” 

The couple took to the dance floor awkwardly, and to an outsider it would’ve looked like they were two people who had never met before. Eren placed a large hand on her slender waist, and she grasped at his other hand tightly. They began to sway to the music, gazing into each other’s eyes as they did so. 

“I’m sorry,” Eren said, giving the girl a lopsided smile. “I don’t really know how to dance.” 

Historia giggled nervously, “neither do I, honestly.” 

“That’s funny,” Eren grinned, moving a hand up to cup the side of her face lovingly. He felt almost robotic as he did so. There was no love in his heart, so warmth in his emotions as he held her there. He felt absolutely nothing. “When you danced with Ymir you looked as if you were born for the dance floor.” 

The girl averted her gaze down to the floor, trying and failing to hide the embarrassed expression. “What? No way!” She huddled herself closer to Eren, burrowing her face into his broad chest, wrapping both arms around his waist as they swayed rhythmically. “That wasn’t really dancing, Ymir and I were just messing around really... we were just having fun...” 

Eren could feel his heart swell at the girl’s words, and the feeling shocked him. For a mere moment he felt something that he hadn’t experienced before. There was a heaviness in his gut, and a emptiness in his chest, and although he had never felt it before he knew that he never wanted to feel it again. 

“Historia,” he began, lifting the girl’s head upwards so the two could meet eyes. “That’s what dancing is. It might not have seemed like proper dancing, but you were having a good time, you were sharing a real connection.” He considered stopping himself, but that heaviness slammed back into him like a punch to the stomach, forcing his next words out. 

“I think that... you and Ymir have a real connection.” 

Shit, maybe he shouldn’t have said that, but his conscience took over. He had always seen Historia as being in the way of him and Levi, but maybe that wasn’t the case. Maybe it was the other way round. Perhaps all this time, Eren had been in the way of Historia and Ymir. The more that he considered it, the more the two seemed to fit together like a jigsaw. 

All of a sudden he could truly sympathise. He remembered what it felt like when he saw Levi with other men in the past. He knew that his love was wasting his time with the wrong person, and maybe that was how Ymir felt when she looked at him with Historia. 

“Huh?” The girl raised an eyebrow at her boyfriend. “What do you mean by that Eren? Tell me.” 

“I just mean that I think that Ymir and you share something special, that’s all. You look really happy when you’re with her.” 

Historia’s words were caught in her throat, and she pressed her lips together to stop herself from saying something that she would regret. 

Eren was so strange. In the beginning he had been so friendly, but now he was never even around. She could have dealt with the lack of time together if the little time that they did have felt special, but it seemed like Eren wasn’t even excited to see her any more. It was a far stretch from the romantic Eren that had asked her to be his girlfriend by the fountain in the sunshine. 

And now he was insinuating... what exactly, about Ymir? What did he think was going on? Was it because Ymir was a lesbian? Was he getting jealous? No, she couldn’t let him feel that way! Historia knew that she was faithful in both mind and body, and she couldn’t let her own boyfriend think anything otherwise! 

Perhaps the needed to show him that she was interested; really, really show him, with all of her heart, and her body.

“Eren,” the boy’s name left her lips in a soft breath, and she traced her hand up his shoulder and onto the back of his neck. The two looked at each other, motionless for a sweet moment, simply breathing in unison. Then without warning Historia tugged on Eren’s neck, pulling him down until their lips met in a deep, hungry kiss. 

Eren didn’t really have time to react, and before he knew it he was being kissed with vigour. Historia tasted of alcohol, and her tongue was cold just like her hands were. He didn’t know what to do, should he kiss her back? He guessed that he should, he couldn’t just leave her hanging like that. 

Reluctantly, Eren returned the kiss, but it felt so, so wrong. 

He couldn’t bring himself to wrap his arms around her, or to put his hand in her hair. It just didn’t feel right. Kissing anyone that wasn’t Levi felt dirty, as if he were kissing a relative or a childhood friend. That being said however, he couldn’t exactly stop! He couldn’t let her know just how wrong this really felt, or he would lose her for good, and potentially Levi too. 

Historia broke the kiss for a moment to whisper up to Eren seductively. “Eren, I want you. I ... want you to make love to me, tonight.”

Surely that would do it. Historia was sure that if she and Eren finally went all the way, he would truly know how much he meant to her. 

“I...I...” 

Before Eren could respond, she was kissing him again, fiercely. Eren was powerless to stop her.

The boy let his eyes drift over to the bar, and his heart almost stopped. Levi was gone, and Erwin looked as if he was calling after someone with a panicked expression on his face. 

Frantically Eren searched for him, and by the time he found his love, he was storming out of the room, stumbling as he reached the door to the hallway. Levi looked back at Eren before he left, burning a hateful glare into the boy’s very soul before slamming the door dramatically behind him. 

Eren couldn’t bear it any longer. 

He pulled away from Historia, gasping for breath as he stared at the door that his love had just left through. 

“Hey!” Historia groaned. “What’s the matter?” 

“I... nothing! I just need to go to the bathroom, give me a minute!” 

Eren bolted in the direction of the door, leaving Historia standing baffled on the dance floor. He didn’t care though, all he cared about in this moment was Levi. He needed to get to him, immediately. There was no time to lose!

 

Eren burst through the door, searching the corridor for Levi in a panic, but he found nothing. He ran down the hallway, eyes darting left and right in an effort to find his love, but still, he came up empty. 

Where was he? Where was Levi? 

Eren hoped and prayed that the man hadn’t left, or he didn’t know if he could make it through the rest of the night. 

He needed Levi to be here with him, and he needed him to be ok. 

As Eren reached the end of the corridor, his eyes were drawn to another door on his right hand side. Levi must’ve been in there! Or at least he hoped so, if not then Eren had no idea where he would’ve been. He swung the door open with such force that the metal handle dinted the plaster of the wall on the other side. 

“Shit! What the... Eren?” Levi jolted, scared out of his wits by the sudden dramatic entrance of his boyfriend. He was leaning against the wall, one foot up on the plaster, sipping from a small, bronze hip-flask. 

“Levi!” 

Eren’s heart was pumping at twice its usual speed, his fingers were trembling. “Are you ok? Please don’t be mad at me, I love you!” 

Eren approached a shocked Levi, wrapping his arms around the man tightly and holding him close to his beating heart. 

“Jeez, chill out,” Levi huffed, his voice muffled by Eren’s chest. “I’m not mad at you, I just need some space, that’s all.” 

Eren pulled away a little, looking down to search for any trace of untruth in his love’s grey eyes. “You’re... you’re not mad at me?” 

“Tch,” Levi pushed Eren away from him gently, folding his arms across his chest and letting his weight fall onto one hip in a sassy manner. “I’m not mad, I just don’t particularly want to see you making out with your fake girlfriend.” He took another long swig from his hip flask, wincing as the strong alcohol burned his tongue. “It’s gross.” 

“Honestly, she just kissed me! I didn’t know what to do, it’s not like I could’ve pulled away and told her to piss off!” Eren’s tone was desperate, and Levi let a smirk fall onto his face. 

“Chill, I already told you I’m not mad.” The professor softened his smirk into a smile, and he could see Eren begin to calm a little. “You do what you have to do, it’s ok honey. I just... don’t wanna watch you.” 

Eren’s sigh of relief was audible, his entire body relaxed. 

As he closed his eyes for a moment, he realised that the music from the ballroom could be heard through the thin wall. Eren opened his eyes and looked around the room. It was dark, isolated. It looked like some kind of sports hall or some shit. Green, yellow and red lines marked the wooden floor, sectioning off different areas for some kind of court. Maybe it was basketball, maybe netball, who knew. 

“Hey, Levi.” 

As Levi looked up at his love, his heart almost stopped. 

He had that damn look on his face again, the look that always got them into trouble! His eyelids were hooded, his irises glowing under his thick lashes. Levi could practically feel the heat radiating from Eren, and he knew that the demon that lived within his loins had awakened once again. 

Fuck, as much as Levi loved it when Eren had that damn insatiable look in his face, now was not the time! 

“What!?” Levi snapped, taking a step backwards until his back hit the wall. “Don’t you be suggesting anything stupid Eren Jaeger! I’m not gonna screw you in the sports hall or anything!” 

Eren’s eyes widened and his expression turned innocent, but Levi knew that the boy was simply playing coy. “I wasn’t going to suggest anything of the sort,” he lied. “I just wondered if... if you wanted to dance with me?” 

“To... dance?” 

Suddenly Levi took notice of the gentle music coming from the other room. Eren’s face was handsome and sweet, but there was a fire in his eyes that smouldered with pure, unbridled passion. It drew Levi in beyond his control. 

“Imagine if I’d been able to take you to the ball as my date,” Eren said, threading his fingers through Levi’s, and taking a step closer to him. “Let’s pretend for a little while, shall we?” 

They knew that they didn’t have long, but even if it was just for five or ten minutes, the two wanted nothing more than to live their fantasy. Against their better judgement, they decided that a dance together was more than necessary.

Levi took a step forward, pressing his body against Eren’s lightly. He could feel the gentle contours of Eren’s muscles against him as he pressed his chest against Eren’s abs. He could feel the gentle rise and fall of the boy’s chest as he breathed, a soft in and out. Eren’s arms wrapped around Levi like a shield, and in turn Levi’s arms found their way round his waist. 

The professor could feel Eren’s heart beating against his ear, and Eren could feel Levi’s on his torso. 

In that moment, they swore that both hearts beat in sync, as one. 

As if it was second nature the two began to sway in time with the music, still resting against each other as they moved to the steady beat. It felt completely natural to them, and as time went on, the two became more and more intertwined. Fingers were knotted through hair, pushed up under shirts, stroking against smooth, bare skin. Every touch was heaven, and it left them wanting more or each other each time. 

Levi lifted his head, looking up into Eren’s beautiful eyes, and he couldn’t quite believe his luck. How did he end up with a man like this? 

“I fucking love you.” 

The professor stepped up onto Eren’s leather shoes, gaining a few inches in height in the process. He grasped onto the boy’s muscular arms for support as he lifted himself upwards, planting a sweet kiss against his lips before Eren could gasp at the surprise of Levi’s weight on his toes. 

“I love you too,” Eren smiled, speaking against Levi’s lips before diving back into another gentle kiss. “So, so much.” 

With Levi standing on Eren’s shoes the two were now eye to eye, and the intimacy of being so close was an explosion of pure, sensual energy. Levi’s slender arms came up around Eren’s neck, and the two gazed longingly into each other’s eyes. 

This moment was wonderful, and neither one of them wanted it to ever end. 

“I could stay like this forever,” Levi grinned. “But you should probably get back to Historia before anyone notices that you’ve been gone for so long.” 

Eren sighed; he didn’t want to leave, but he knew that it was for the best. 

“Yeah, I guess you’re right.” 

Eren pulled Levi in close one last time, nuzzling into his coconut scented hair. “I’ll see you later, my love.” 

Just as Eren was about to release Levi from the hug, the two were interrupted by the clicking noise that the door made as it opened. 

Somebody had just walked in... somebody had just seen them.

No.

No.

No.

Their hearts stopped in their chests. 

Their eyes became wide.

Neither one of them dared to look over their shoulders to see who was standing in the doorway, but Levi hoped with all of his heart that it was just Erwin. 

“What the...” Levi heard the voice and his skin turned cold. That voice was not Erwin’s. “What the BLOODY HELL IS GOING ON HERE!?” 

Levi jumped off Eren’s shoes, turning to face his furious boss in the doorway. 

Rod Reiss stood silhouetted in the light, his face burning with rage as he stared the two down like a bull about to charge. 

“S-Sir!” Eren stammered, ready to jump straight into another lie without hesitation. “I was j-just comforting the professor, he’s had a really bad day... and....” 

Reiss interrupted Eren immediately, his voice coarse and harsh. “Do you think I’m stupid boy? What the hell do you think you’re doing in here when my daughter is back in that ball room crying her eyes out!” 

“She’s crying? Oh goodness! I’ll go right away!” Eren began to pick up the pieces of himself that shattered onto the floor when he saw Levi’s boss in the doorway, and Levi glared over at the man in disgust. 

“Don’t play dumb with me!” He bellowed, his voice booming through the room like a god damned fog horn. “What the hell were you two doing, huh? Whatever it was, it’s disgusting!” 

Levi could feel something bubbling up in his gut, and he seethed at the man in the doorway. Who the fuck did he think he was? Speaking to Eren that way! 

“Disgusting, huh?” Levi hissed, taking a step forward and scrunching his fists into tight balls. 

Reiss retaliated accordingly, stepping closer himself and burning daggers into the professor. “You heard me, disgusting. Both of you, you’re utterly disgusting!” 

Eren could see something in Levi snap, and before he could stop his love, Levi was marching toward Reiss angrily with fire in his eyes. 

“I fucking dare you to say that again!” Levi yelled, his mind was a hurricane, and his target was the man that dared to insult Eren. “I fucking dare you to say one wrong word to him again, go on, try it you stupid, fat shit!” In a flash, Levi had the man’s collar in his hand, and Reiss was protesting and whimpering pathetically. 

Fuck, Levi had gone way too far. 

Maybe he was too drunk, that had to be it. Eren had never seen him like this before. Quickly Eren zoomed over and plucked Levi’s hand off the man’s collar; Reiss spluttered weakly, his face was red and there was fear in his eyes. 

“I should have had you fired a long time ago, Ackerman!” Reiss spat, stumbling out of the door and back toward the ballroom. 

It was kind of sad: how weak Reiss seemed in this moment as he staggered away from a 5ft 2 man like he was running from fucking Mike Tyson on a rampage. 

“I’m gonna expose you both for the freaks that you are!” Reiss shouted as he ran down the corridor with his tail between his legs. “Faggots! Abominations! Weirdos!” Eventually his insults trailed off to nothing, and Eren and Levi were left in silence. 

“Levi, don’t worry! He only saw us hugging, I can fix this! I promise I can fix this!” Eren babbled his assurances over and over, but when his eyes met Levi’s he didn’t see the fear or the sadness that he had expected to see. Instead there was ... determination. 

“You’re not fixing it this time,” he said. Levi was baring his teeth like a wild animal, and Eren felt completely uneasy. He wasn’t sure if letting Levi have control over the situation was a good idea.

Eren knew that he could fix everything, but he did not know if Levi could. Levi could be erratic, and unpredictable. His little display just then proved that fact tenfold! Eren was the one who could dissipate the tension, who could create a story that everyone would believe, including Levi’s boss. He wasn’t sure however if Rod would completely forgive Levi for collaring him like that, but he had to try and do something!

“Levi please, let me handle this...” Eren began, but Levi wasn’t having any of his damn lip right now.

“No,” he spat. “You always handle things your way, and look where we are. This time, it’s my turn. I already know exactly what I’m going to say.”


	35. The Winter Ball: Part 3

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I was wondering if now that I have a few more readers I could ask again if any of you do commissions for fan art? I suuuuper love it so much so if any of you are artists and do commissions then hmu <3 My last one my eren.titanchild was amazing!! 
> 
> Thank you all so much for reading :)

It was as if everything went in slow motion as Levi marched down the hallway after his target. He’d always thought that the concept of a red mist was just a metaphor, but right now the professor’s eyes were clouded by a haze of pure rage that drove him forward with a vengeance. 

Rod fucking Reiss. 

That worthless shit-stain was going to pay for what he’d just said. Sure, he had just walked in and seen his employee in a tender embrace with his daughter’s boyfriend, Levi was aware that Reiss’s distaste was only natural, he wasn’t stupid. However it wasn’t his displeasure that Levi was enraged by, it was his nasty attitude. Reiss was spouting insults, curses spraying out of him like boiling water from a stove top kettle and each word burned as badly as the water would if it were to hit his skin. 

Disgusting. Abomination. Faggot. Weirdo. 

Levi was all too accustomed to these words. He had been all of his life, from the moment that he’d hit puberty he’d been taunted with such atrocities. Kids could be cruel, and the professor had learned that fact the hard way throughout his childhood and adolescence. Being ‘the gay kid’ came with its fair share of beatings, both verbal and physical. Even in adulthood, Levi felt that he was used to it, but hearing those venomous words spewed out in the direction of his young lover ripped off the scab that had covered his gaping wounds, revealing fresh blood that seared his heart like lava. 

Levi had always been suspicious that Reiss was homophobic, but until he’d spouted homophobic slurs Levi hadn’t had any concrete evidence. He had always felt the man’s eyes burning into him viciously as he’d walked through the department, and noticed the sly, rude remarks directed at him during meetings as he smiled at the other professors. It wasn’t like Levi had ever cared what the bastard thought of him, as long as he could come to work and get paid it wasn’t an issue, but hearing him insult Eren like that had awakened a side of him that he didn’t even know existed until right here and now.

It was as if a demon had awakened within him, and it’s sights were set on anyone who dared to insult the man that he loved.

Reiss burst through the door back into the ballroom red faced and panting, and Levi was hot on his tail. The man turned around to see Levi’s face seething with rage, and a sudden bout of fear took over his face as the professor grabbed him by the scruff of the collar, slamming him into the nearby wall with a great deal of his might. A shocked gasp spread through the room, and rapidly every set of eyes in the room were drawn to the commotion as guests nudged and prodded each other to alert their friends to the action. 

“I’ve had enough of your bullshit!” Levi yelled, pulling Reiss forward only to slam him back into the wall once again. In the corner of his eyes he could see Erwin running toward him, and he released Reiss’s collar before the man could intervene. 

Reiss spluttered helplessly, scowling across at Levi as his hands reached up to rub at the forming bruise on the back of his head. In the distance Levi could hear a girl scream, and he could only assume that it was Historia’s reaction to witnessing her father’s assault. Erwin reached Levi, and his immediate instinct was to grasp his friend’s arm firmly, ready to hold him back if he went for Reiss again. 

“Levi!” he hissed, glaring at his friend with genuine concern in his eyes. “What the hell is going on?” 

Reiss straightened himself upwards, leaning back against the wall and burning daggers into Levi with the fear still lingering in his expression. 

“What’s going on?” He cried, looking over to his wide eyed daughter across the room before turning his attention back to his employee. “You wouldn’t believe the atrocity that I’ve just witnessed tonight!” 

Levi could feel his anger bubbling up at the disgusting word that he had used to describe he and Eren’s loving embrace, and he almost lunged forward again. If Erwin wasn’t so much bigger and stronger than he was, he would’ve punched the man right in his fat face. 

“Atrocity?” Levi spat, “you’d better watch your fucking mouth before I fill it with my damn fist!” 

Levi could hear the people behind him mumbling and gasping, some even giggling as his loaded threat, but he didn’t care one bit. In this moment they were nothing more than a sea of faceless nobodies that didn’t matter in the slightest. The only people that mattered one were the man grasping onto his arm, and the one who’s footsteps he could hear pounding against the ground as he neared the ballroom. Everyone else could go to hell for all he cared, they had never mattered to him before and they weren’t going to start mattering now. 

“Chill the hell out,” Erwin breathed, tightening his grip on Levi, who was staring Reiss down like a lion ready to pounce on it’s prey. “Just tell me what happened. I’ve got you, we can fix this.” 

Levi wanted to scream. He definitely could NOT fix this, nor did he intend to. All he wanted to do was pummel Rod Reiss in his awful face until his lips were so bruised and busted that another homophobic slur could never pass through them again. 

“Levi!” 

The footsteps had stopped, and Levi’s eyes were drawn to the doorway. Eren was clutching the frame, his hair bun had flopped down to one side, and long strands of messy, dark hair fell over his terrified face. His eyes were practically glowing, and his chest was heaving from the fierceness of his breathing. 

“Levi, stop it! Don’t make this worse!” 

For a moment the professor considered it. He didn’t want to be the reason that Eren made that damn scared face, but when he remembered the way that Reiss had talked to him just moments ago all of his worries melted away, and he knew exactly what he wanted. 

“Stop it?” Reiss squealed, “Don’t make it worse, he says! Ha!” His eyes scanned the room full of bewildered party guests as if he were searching for their support before they made their way back to Eren. “I find my daughter’s boyfriend getting cozy with my employee and he tells him not to make it worse! Like it could possibly be any worse! You disgust me, faggot!” 

Erwin’s shoulder’s tensed at the insulting slur, and Levi gritted his teeth so hard that they might’ve crumbled under the pressure. 

“No! No it wasn’t like that!” Eren pleaded, stumbling into the room, his heartbeat almost audible. His eyes were desperate, and he knew that he was fighting for his life at this point. If he lost Levi then there would be nothing left to live for, he needed to fix this. “Sir, if you could just hear me out I can explain everything, you’ve got the wrong idea about...” 

“Shut up, Eren!” 

Levi threw the words out into the atmosphere like a bullet, and they hit Eren with force, silencing the boy instantly. 

“Can’t you see that it’s over. It’s like he said, it couldn’t possibly get any worse now. There’s no use fighting for something that’s already dead.” 

Eren could hear a quiet whimper. It sounded sad, pathetic almost, and it took him longer than it should have to realise that it was coming from him. 

“But Levi, I...” 

The professor glared at his love. His expression was fierce, but his eyes said ‘trust me.’ He turned back to Reiss, ready to give the bastard the truth whether he liked it or not.

“Listen up asshole because I’m only going to say this once.” Levi began to speak, and this time his tone was calmer. It must’ve been clear that he had accepted his fate, because Erwin let go of his arm, sighing deeply as he too accepted Levi’s choice. 

“That boy in the doorway, yeah I’ve been screwing him for months.” 

The crowd gasped in unison, and amongst their noise Levi could hear a loud and forceful “WHAT!?” 

Eren’s eyes drifted over to Historia, who's eyes were black with running makeup. The girl glared over at him, her expression basically pleading with him to tell her that it wasn’t true, but it was all out in the open now. Eren simply gave her a solemn nod, and that was all that she needed to see before she burst into tears, burrowing her face into Ymir’s chest to muffle her sobbing. Ymir glared over at Eren, and if looks could kill he knew that his death would’ve been drawn-out and painful. 

Levi continued, not taking his eyes off his boss for a moment: “You can tell people all the bullshit lies that you want. Tell ‘em that he was sleeping with me for better grades, tell ‘em that we’re both disgusting, depraved homos, whatever dumb crap you can fill your fat head with, but you and I know that those things are all lies. The truth is, I’m in love with him.” 

Eren’s heart jumped in his chest, it was as if his body was paralysed and all he could do was stare at the determination on Levi’s face and thank every made up god imaginable that this man was his. 

“I’m in a happy, committed relationship with Eren Jaeger, and no amount of money or status could ever trump that. This stupid, piece-of-shit job isn’t worth losing my happiness, so you can shove it up your fat arse you worm! I’d rather eat shit than have to work for you for another second!” 

Reiss tutted, stepping forward and pointing a stretched out finger at Levi angrily. “You’ll never step foot in Sakura again! You disgrace!” 

Levi rolled his eyes, and Eren could feel that familiar prickling heat in his cheeks. He fucking loved it when Levi rolled his eyes, and now as his love was brimming with unbridled passion and fury he could swear that he had never been so attracted to him in his entire life. 

“You must be fucking deaf,” Levi smirked. “Did I fucking stutter? Or did I clearly tell you that I’m not working for you any more. Fucking moron, have fun finding a replacement professor.” Levi turned to face Eren, and an honest to god smile spread across his perfect face that set his love on fire. He had never seen Levi like this before, and Eren felt as if he had unlocked Levi’s final tier! 

This was it, in mind, body and soul, Levi was truly his. 

“Come on Eren, let’s ditch this shitty party.” 

Never in his life could Levi have imagined doing what he just did, but right here and right now he knew that he had never been so sure of anything in his whole life. He had made the right decision. Fuck his job, he could find a new job, a better job! And this time, he would do it with Eren by his side. 

Levi stormed toward the door, and the guests at the ball all began to shout and gossip. Eren couldn’t quite believe what he had just witnessed, and now more than ever he knew that he needed to be quick on his feet, and follow Levi. It only took a moment for him to gather his thoughts, and he was trailing after Levi obediently with a song in his heart. 

What Eren had just witnessed was beyond what he could’ve ever expected. Without a shadow of a doubt, Levi had just chosen their relationship over his job. He didn’t even give Eren the chance to try and weasel his way out of this one, he saw the fire and decided to let it burn. 

The ex-professor didn’t even look back once to see the glorious mess that he had left behind. He didn’t notice how his ghost still lingered on the lips of every person in that ballroom, or how Reiss called after him as he walked away. 

It was beautiful to watch him leave. It was as if the wounds of his past abuse had opened up and glorious wings had sprouted in their place.

There was no regret, no sadness, no fear. It was almost as if... Levi was finally free. 

Eren watched as his love disappeared out of the door, and he could almost taste the freshness of the night air himself when a firm hand grasped at his arm forcefully. The boy swung round to see the angriest looking pair of narrow, brown eyes looking back at him. 

“Ymir?” 

Before Eren could utter another word, the girl’s hard, heavy fist swung into his face like a wrecking ball, and he staggered backwards. Eren could feel the warmth of the pain spreading across his face, creeping up through his nose and his eye socket. It hurt like hell, and as he steadied himself he could see Ymir looking down at him. 

“Ya think ya can just hurt Historia like that, huh?” She spat, “that sweet girl! She’s never done anything wrong to anyone in her whole life! You’re the lowest of the low, ya know that!?” 

Her words were laced with poison, but little did she know that Eren was immune. Ymir’s words could not hurt him, because as much as he didn’t hate Historia, he didn’t love her either. In fact, as evil as he felt for feeling the way that he did, he simply didn’t care all that much about her. 

Eren could feel warmth running down onto his top lip, and when he wiped it away with his hand he realised that he was bleeding. 

“Tch,” Eren grinned, looking down at his blood smeared hand. It hurt, but it didn’t matter; he probably deserved it. 

“What the...?” Ymir’s freckled face was getting red now, and she squared up to Eren like a warrior, completely fearless and ready to defend her woman. “You’re smiling now? Ya think this is some dumb joke?” 

Eren let his smile soften slightly. He didn’t mean to disrespect Historia, and he certainly didn't think that her distress was humorous, he was just so... happy. 

“Ymir,” Eren looked directly into the girl’s fiery eyes, and somehow her expression seemed to soften, just a little. “Look after Historia, ok? Make her happy.” 

That was all that he needed to say, and with that he turned and walked straight out of the open door, slamming it behind him as he left, and ignoring Ymir’s cries of ‘wait, I’m not done with you...’ 

 

The cool, evening air hit Eren in a calming gust as he stepped outside. It was eerily quiet once he closed the door, the gentle buzz of the commotion inside fading away the further that the boy stepped. Eren was still a little dazed, his mind was still processing the enormity of what had just happened. 

He and Levi had spent so long desperately trying to avoid being caught to avoid this exact situation, and yet as soon as it happened Levi had thrown his job away on the spur of the moment. 

This was out of character for Levi, his love was the kind of man who thought things through before doing them, and that fact was not lost on Eren. However... Levi was also the kind of man who would act without a hint of regret when he knew exactly what he wanted. Eren hoped that was the reason that Levi had just made such a scene, he couldn’t bear the thought of Levi waking up hungover and regretting his decision the next day. 

That thought filled Eren with dread, and his eyes scanned the car park. 

“Levi,” he called out into the abyss. 

“Eren,” he heard Levi’s voice in the distance, and when he spotted his love his heart swelled. 

There he was, leaning against the fence at the far end of the car park. His delicate figure was silhouetted so beautifully by the moonlight. He looked like a true angel, and the closer that Eren got to him the more apparent his beauty was. Eren approached his side, gazing nervously at his love, searching for any sign of regret on his face. He found none. 

In fact, Levi looked completely at peace. His silvery eyes held the glimmering reflection of a thousand stars as he gazed up at the night sky, a smile tugging at the corner of his lips. 

“Levi, are you... ok?” 

“Of course,” Levi said calmly. “Don’t worry Eren, everything is going to be ... Holy shit! What happened to your face?” 

Levi almost recoiled when he turned to see the blood dripping down off Eren’s chin and onto his white shirt. Shit, the sight of Levi had very nearly wiped the memory of being punched in the face from his mind, and he quickly wiped the red, dripping liquid off his face with his sleeve. 

“Oh, this? Uhh... Well Ymir punched me in the face.” 

All of a sudden the anger faded from Levi’s expression. “Historia’s friend?” He asked.

“Yeah.” 

“Ahh.” 

The two looked at each other blankly for a few seconds before Levi began to purse his lips. Muffled snorts began to burst from his body, and the corners of his lips began to twist toward the heavens. Eren grinned back at him, finding his expression infectious, and for a moment the two tried to suppress their laughter. 

It was Eren that broke first, his lips popping as a laugh protruded from between them forcefully. It didn’t take long for Levi to follow his lead. Before they knew it, the two were in hysterics. The sound of their laughter echoed through the still night air like the most beautiful symphony, and the two crouched down as if they were about to double over. 

Their hands found each other in the moonlight, and still jolting from the laughter, Eren pulled Levi in close. 

The two chuckled against each other’s bodies until the laughter subsided, and they were humming aimlessly in a state of pure bliss. 

“What the fuck are we like?” Levi spluttered, his face pressed against Eren’s blood stained shirt. 

“I don’t even... I don’t even know,” Eren smiled back. 

The older man lifted his head up to look into Eren’s big, green eyes. Even with his hair a mess, and blood all over his face, he was still so beautiful. “I swear you’re a fucking hurricane, Eren,” he breathed, watching as the moonlight exaggerated the boy’s subtle change in facial expression. “When I’m with you nothing is ever just normal. It’s a fucking mess, but god damn, it’s exciting.” 

Eren watched those stunning, grey eyes looking up at him as if he was a god. “I’m sorry, I don’t mean to be like that,” he said, truthfully. “All I want is to be with you and for you to be happy, I didn’t mean to cause all this mess for you. I’m... I’m sorry...” 

“Shhh,” Levi hushed his love, stepping up onto his tiptoes to plant a tender, loving kiss on Eren’s lips. 

His lips tasted of copper, and Levi could feel the stickiness of Eren’s blood pressed against his face. “Don’t apologise Eren, I’m happy this way, I mean it.” 

As Levi pulled away, Eren noticed that his blood had stained Levi’s usually porcelain skin. Somehow the sight of it made his heart flutter, as if his blood was just another part of himself that he had now shared with his love. “I’m glad.” 

“Just promise me one thing, Eren.” 

“Anything.” 

Levi’s delicate hand came up to stroke strands of blood soaked hair out of Eren’s face, tucking it neatly behind his ear before he told him: “Don’t ever change.” 

In the bitter coldness of the night, those words warmed Eren’s soul. 

Even though Levi had lost his job, even though Eren had likely lost his placement at university, even though they were both a little drunk and covered in blood, they both knew in that moment that everything was going to be ok.


	36. Surrender

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> If you read this chapter at work, you're gonna have a bad timeeeeeee

Levi was too drunk to drive home, so the two walked back in the starlight. It didn’t take them that long, only around half an hour or so. It could’ve been quicker if the two didn’t keep stopping to make out every few minutes. 

By the time that they arrived back at Levi’s house, both of them were ready to sit down and relax. 

The two practically threw themselves down onto the sofa, Eren wrapping a strong arm around Levi’s shoulders and Levi leaning back into the embrace. 

“This is crazy,” Levi said, his voice still heavy with disbelief. “I mean... I’m glad that I quit, but what do we do now?” 

Eren gave his shoulder a gentle squeeze. “Whatever we want.” He replied calmly, breathing in the scent of Levi’s dark hair. “I guess it doesn’t matter really, at least we can finally be together for real now.” 

“I guess.” 

Levi was exhilarated. He knew that he’d made the right decision for himself, but as time had gone on and the effects of the alcohol in his system began to diminish, guilt began to build in his heart. This was what he wanted, but he hadn’t asked what Eren wanted at all. He knew that Eren wanted to be with him, but Sakura was a good university, and Levi’s little outburst may have lost the boy his placement there for good. 

Eren glanced down at his love, noticing the worried look on his face. “What is it Levi? You look a little nervous.” 

“I...” Levi began to speak, but he wasn’t sure exactly what to say. “Are you... ok with all of this? I mean, I’m sure that Reiss will want to kick you off the course, but if we go straight to the higher ups I reckon we could save your placement.” 

Eren raised an eyebrow. ”And why would I want to do that?”

“Oh come on,” Levi huffed, leaning his head back to meet Eren’s eyes. “I’m glad we’re together, but Sakura is a great place to study. I love you, but I don’t want my actions to damage your future.” 

“Pffft!” Eren spat, the corner of his lips twisting up into a soft smirk. “Do you really think I care about Sakura?” He ran his fingers through Levi’s hair, ruffling it playfully. “I already told you before, I only bothered getting a place there because I knew you were teaching. Did you think I was joking when I said that?” 

“I mean... yeah. I didn’t think you were being serious.” 

“Well I was.” Eren told him firmly. “Your actions can’t damage my future because you are my future. I don’t give a shit about Sakura or any other university. I just care about you.” 

Levi let out a short, breathy laugh. “You’re weird.” 

“Maybe I am,” Eren said, walking his long fingers up and down Levi’s arm. “Does it bother you?” 

Levi twisted his head until he was able to press his lips up against Eren’s softly. He pulled away, looking directly into those beautiful, green eyes as he said: “No, not at all.” 

Eren pulled Levi in closer, and soon enough the older man had swivelled himself around to give him better access to Eren’s soft, sweet lips. Magnets drew them back together, and their lips collided again and again, their kisses naturally becoming deeper. Their tongues brushed up against each other gently, their arms snaking around each other’s backs. 

“I can’t believe...” Eren breathed between kisses. “That you’re finally mine.” 

Levi smiled against Eren’s lips, “well start believing it, because you’re the best guy that I’ve ever met.” 

Eren could feel his entire body tingling at Levi’s heartwarming words, and he pulled the smaller man on top of him with ease, wrapping him up in his arms tightly. Levi kissed him again, more hungrily this time. His legs came down to rest by either side of Eren’s waist, and his tiny hands grasped at his hard biceps. Levi smirked devilishly as he began to move himself up and down, so slowly that Eren initially questioned whether the man knew that he was doing it. 

“If you keep doing that,” the boy whispered, looking up at Levi’s sinful face. “Then I won’t be able to hold myself back.”

Levi huffed, grinding his crotch down into Eren’s teasingly. “Oh no, what a shame that would be.” The man’s voice was dripping with sarcasm, and Eren was living for it. 

“Ok,” Eren told him, bringing both hands up to grasp Levi’s slender hips. “You asked for it.” 

The two lovers kissed in a mist of passion, shedding items of clothing as they moved together as one. Expensive shirts were cast onto the floor, Levi’s belt was unbuckled and tossed carelessly behind the sofa. Curious hands explored Levi’s torso, stroked down his arms, wrapped around his waist to pull him in closer. 

Throughout all of Eren’s lustful touching Levi rolled his head back, closing his eyes and letting himself simply experience the sensations that rushed through his body. He sat with his back straight, slowly rocking back and forth as Eren unbuttoned his trousers. He could hear the metallic sliding sound of his zipper being pulled down, then the coolness of the air as Eren tugged at the elastic of his boxer shorts, revealing his hardness to the open air. 

Levi gasped as the coolness was replaced by the warmth of Eren’s hand, and that blissful warmth began to shift up and down his shaft teasingly. The man let his eyelids drift open, looking down at the boy that he loved, who in turn was looking up at him. Levi let out a long sigh, and even in the midst of sexual tension a sweet smile formed on his face. 

The moment they were sharing was so beautiful, so heartwarming that he thought he might burst into tears of happiness; that was until...

“Levi,” Eren’s voice cut through the silent tension, and the man halted his movements for a moment. “Get up, I want you bent over.” 

“Tch,” Levi scowled at his lover in annoyance. How dare he take that demanding tone with him? He didn’t want to admit that it was kind of hot, so he played angry, knowing that he could get a rise out of Eren this way.

Eren must’ve seen the look on Levi’s face and realised his mistake, because he followed up with: “S-sorry! I didn’t mean to be rash, I just... I have something I want to do.” 

The older man huffed, shimmying himself off of Eren’s lap, still staring the boy down with his piercing, dark eyes. “Fine, I’ll do as you say.” He turned himself around, knees up on the sofa cushions, both hands grasping onto the back for support. “But only because I’m curious to see what you want to do.” 

Eren grinned over at him, looking up through heavy lashes at his love, sprawled out so helplessly waiting for him. When Levi saw the look in his eyes he could feel his heart begin to race, and his entire body felt weak. He knew that look, Eren was definitely up to something. 

“Thanks,” Eren said, his voice smooth and calming. Levi knew that calmness was just a ruse, but somehow it still felt refreshing to hear that tone. He was well aware of the fact that Eren was going to absolutely ravage him, but the boy’s soft voice reminded him that whatever happened, he would be safe and well looked after. 

Eren brought himself up to his feet, and Levi turned his head to look back at him. Two strong hands came to rest on either side of his head however, turning it back to face the wall. 

“Keep looking forward please, my love.” 

Levi raised an eyebrow suspiciously, but he did as Eren asked. His steely eyes stayed fixed on the wall, but his body was still tensed in anticipation. He could hear the clink of Eren’s belt buckle being undone, and the scuffle of the leather being slid out of the fabric belt holes. He felt a shiver run down his spine in anticipation. 

“Arms behind your back, please.” Eren asked him. Levi complied, pretty sure that he knew what was coming next. All of a sudden, Levi felt the cool leather of Eren’s belt against his wrists, and he gasped at the contact. Eren tightened the belt around him, binding his wrists behind his back. It was a little uncomfortable, but not painful. 

“This ok?” Eren asked, studying every reaction of Levi’s body, no matter how minute. 

Levi nodded, keeping his eyes fixed on the wall obediently. It was strange, this new found willingness that Levi had to obey. He had always been bossy in the bedroom. He was snappy, demanding, and he thought that attitude suited him rather well. The only explanation that he had for the level of comfort that he felt letting Eren take charge was pure trust. He loved Eren, he trusted him, and that fact opened up so many sexual possibilities that Levi could barely wrap his head around them. 

He had never had sex that could be considered ‘kinky’ before, and although this was a vanilla beginning, it excited him greatly. 

“It’s ok,” Levi breathed, gasping inaudibly as Eren tightened his binding just a little more. “Do what you want to me, Eren.” 

As he spoke, Eren took the chance to slide thick, soft fabric over his eyes, and all of a sudden Levi was in utter darkness. 

“It’s just my tie,” Eren spoke, even more softly this time. “Is this still ok?” 

Levi had already told Eren to do what he wanted, there really was no need for all these persistent questions. He nodded again, holding back the urge to snap at the boy. It’s not like he could blame his lover for being cautious when it came to this kind of thing. He was looking out for Levi, just as he always did. 

“Relax,” Eren purred, taking his strong hands and placing them on Levi’s shoulders. His thumbs slowly began to massage the soft skin, his fingertips working his tensed muscles into relaxation. “Don’t see, don’t think. Just feel.” 

Levi did just that. His eyes were closed under the blindfold, his hands perfectly relaxed into his bindings. The man let himself focus on the sensation of Eren’s warm hands on his body, and nothing else. He could feel his heart flutter in his chest as every muscle in his body began to unwind. 

“How does that feel?” Eren asked, moving his hands down a little further onto his back, then down to slowly slide his trousers down to his knees.

“S’ nice,” Levi replied, his voice much lower than he was expecting. 

The sound of Eren’s heavy breathing was a mesmerising white noise, and as he moved his hands further and further down Levi’s body, the older man’s breathing quickened as well. One hand reached around to the front, and one came to cup his lower cheek softly. Levi gasped as Eren’s hand began to work up and down his cock again, and he squeezed his eyes shut tighter under the blindfold. The sensation of the boy’s hand coating him with his own pre-come was wonderful, and he felt himself begin to thrust forward into Eren’s touch. 

“No,” Eren spoke softly, directly into his ear. His wrist movements stopped immediately. “I don’t want you to move either, please.” He scraped his teeth across his love’s soft earlobe, drawing a quiet whine from his perfect lips. “I want every sensation that you feel tonight to be because of me, and me alone. So please, let me do everything.” 

Levi could feel his cheeks prickling with heat at those words, and in his state of blissful calmness he simply nodded a soft “Mhm.” 

Soon enough Eren’s wrist was moving again, and Levi could hear the sound of a cap popping open behind him. It must have been lube, he thought; but why did Eren have lube right here? Where was he hiding it, in his pocket? In his blazer? Who knew. Levi simply assumed he knew Eren well enough by now to be able to speculate that he was planning something dirty all along. Perhaps if things hadn’t kicked off at the ball they would’ve been able to sneak off and make love there. 

This was much better though. This was perfection. 

“E-Eren...” Levi let the boy’s name fall from his lips gracefully like petals from a blossom tree as he felt Eren’s finger pressing up against his entrance. Slowly, slowly, he circled the puckered hole, waiting until he could feel Levi relax under his touch before he pushed himself in. Levi arched his back at the intrusion, tugging at his bindings just a little as his body adjusted to the feeling. He let out a throaty groan, and Eren stroked at his hair rhythmically, hushing him. 

“If you need me to stop at any point please tell me.” He told his lover sternly, still stroking him lovingly. “I’m planning on going pretty hard tonight, once you’re ready to take it.” 

“I’ll... tell you.” 

With those words Eren pushed his finger in deeper, studying Levi’s reactions closely to make sure that he was doing the right thing. It was only a matter of minutes before Eren was able to add another finger, before he was able to move them more rapidly, to scissor them and stretch his love out properly. Then Levi was whining, his body trembling as he tried his best not to move backwards in time with Eren’s own movements. It felt so damn good, Eren knew exactly what to do to unravel Levi’s entire body. The boy refused to stop working and stretching and pulling out delicious moans until his love was babbling obscenities into the sofa cushion in front of him, writhing in his bindings and begging for more. 

“Eren, please d-don’t make me wait any more. Fuck, I want you in me. Like r-right now.” 

Levi couldn’t see the absolutely sinful smirk that painted Eren’s handsome face when he saw Levi completely submit to him. The boy felt selfish, getting to watch Levi bound and blindfolded and begging for him whilst his love could see nothing at all. He was sure that the sight of Levi’s vulnerability gave him more pleasure than he was giving Levi right now. Even though the man was trembling and scrunching his hands into tight fists, Eren knew that there was nothing on this earth that could beat the sigh of Levi in this position.

“Are you sure you’re ready for me?” Eren asked, tugging at the hanging strands of blindfold at the back of Levi’s head very lightly. “Like I said, I’m gonna go hard tonight.” 

Levi gulped in anticipation, letting the thought of Eren pounding into him at full force run through his mind. He could feel his cock twitch in Eren’s hand at the image of it. “I’m ready, don’t hold back. Not one bit.” 

He could hear Eren’s low chuckle behind his back, then he felt the thickness of him pressing up against his hole. He took a deep breath, bracing himself for what he knew would be yet another blissful stretch. Eren entered him slowly, and Levi didn’t hold back with his sensual moaning. With the loss of his sight, and his inability to move, it was as if all other sensations in his body were heightened. Eren’s hand grasped at his bound hands, and any fingers that could reach upward were curled up into Eren’s hand. 

“F-fuck,” Levi breathed as Eren slid himself in further, gently rutting inside him teasingly. Levi could see patterns dancing behind his closed eyelids as Eren fucked him, softly and lovingly... for now. 

“Ugh, Levi you feel so good.” Eren growled, taking both hands and grasping at Levi’s shoulders, pulling the man in closer. Levi’s body felt so small pressed against his own, and that only made Eren want to fuck him harder, more fiercely. He couldn’t though, not yet. He wanted to make this last for as long as he possibly could, he wanted to watch Levi come apart, as he had done so many times before. It was just so satisfying to see. 

Eren kept up his gentle, rhythmic fucking for a long time, so long that Levi was just about to fucking break. He wanted to move backwards, to slam Eren’s dick so hard into his prostate that he wailed in pleasure, but he didn’t. Eren had asked him not to, and for now he was still able to keep his composure. It was so difficult though, Eren was on him, panting and moaning, whispering “ahh, fuck” into his ear as if Levi could just handle all of that hotness with no problems. Eren’s hand had come back down to stroke Levi’s cock in time with his thrusts too, and for Levi holding back was akin to torture. Each gentle thrust brushed his prostate so gently, not quite hitting the spot that would make him see stars, and then Eren would purposely slam into him once or twice before going back to his steady rhythm. 

By now Levi was a hot mess beneath him. He could barely take it any longer. He had been so close so many times and yet Eren was not letting him reach his climax. He wanted to grasp at the boy’s long hair, but his hands were bound. He wanted to move in time with his lover, but Eren had told him no. Then all of a sudden “Agh! Fuck, fucking fuck!” Eren would angle himself just right and Levi would collapse, putting his whole body weight into Eren’s arm and letting the boy hold him up so effortlessly that it made him jealous. 

“Eren! Fucking hell stop teasing me like this! I’m gonna... NGH!” 

“What was that Levi? I couldn’t quite hear you, you’re gonna what?” 

“Y-You little shit.” 

Eren was testing him, and he damn well knew it. He couldn’t help it though, it was so fun to watch Levi all helpless like this. He could’ve done it forever if he couldn’t already feel himself having to hold back his own impending orgasm.

It was such a shame that his body couldn’t simply keep going forever, but if he had to finish, he was going to make it so, so good. 

“You want me to stop teasing you?” Eren asked, his voice shaking from his vigorous movements. “Then brace yourself.” 

Levi did just that, getting ready for whatever Eren was about to do. 

Damn, he really wasn’t joking around! Eren grasped onto Levi tightly, holding him in place before he began to move. Levi was left in a state of paralysis, completely unable to move from the sheer tightness of the boy’s grip, and the ferocity of his love making. Eren fucked Levi harder than he ever had before, and Levi collapsed against his hard, muscular body. 

This was what he had been waiting for, the animalistic fucking that he had come to expect from Eren, and after being teased for so long it was even better than it had been before. 

“T-That feels s-s-so g-g...” Levi couldn't even finish his sentence, his body was being thrown around like a rag doll, only held in place by the strength of Eren’s firm arms around him. Eren was absolutely destroying his sweet spot, and in turn the boy was moaning into his ear without shame or inhibitions. 

“God fucking damn,” Eren fucked Levi so hard that his legs ached, but be couldn’t stop if he tried. He couldn’t help but chase the feeling that began to build up in him, threatening to peak at any moment. His hand was jerking Levi’s dick viciously, and he could feel the pre-come practically dripping from the tip of it. 

“E-Eren I’m g-gonna come soon... please don’t s-stop, don’t you d-dare stop!” 

By now Levi had lost it, and he was thrusting backwards into the movement hungrily, his bottom lip trembling as the sensation of pure heaven built up in two places. Eren knew that he could hold off for a little longer, but looking down at the mess that Levi had become beneath him, he was sure that his love couldn’t. 

Eren angled himself perfectly, just the way Levi liked it, and he went as hard as he could. Levi threw his head back against Eren’s shoulder, panting and wailing as Eren beat him off ferociously. The sounds that he made only spurred Eren on further, and as he listened to Levi’s pleasured groans he felt as if he could go on like this until the end of time. 

Levi’s mouth was agape and one final, earsplitting moan left his throat before hot streams of come shot from end of his length, and his entire body went limp against his boyfriend.

He was still panting, his body convulsing and heaving as Eren laid him down so his body was resting on the back of the sofa. The boy fucked him as he still gasped for air, not giving him even a second to compose himself before he was treat as a sex toy, existing only to bring Eren to his own deafening climax. He blew his load so deep inside Levi that the man was sure he would feel it for days afterwards. 

Then slowly, their movement came to a halt, and the two were left panting in a state of dizzy bliss. 

It took a moment before either of them could speak properly, but Eren’s shaky voice came out first. 

“We should get you to bed,” he breathed, taking the opportunity to remove Levi’s blindfold gently, and planting a tender kiss on his forehead. 

“I would but...”

“But?” 

Levi turned his head to watch Eren as he undid the belt that bound his hands behind his back. 

“But I don’t... think I can walk right now.” 

Eren laughed softly, honestly proud of the fact that he had managed to do that to his love. He was getting better, gaining more experience, and that excited him. 

“Don’t worry,” he sighed, finally releasing Levi’s aching limbs and scooping the smaller man up into his strong arms. “I’ll carry you there.”

 

 

The afterglow was the warmest, the most comforting that they had experienced before. The two lovers lay side by side on the mattress, Levi’s fingers stroking through Eren’s long, soft hair. Each time that their eyes met two pairs of lips twisted up into gentle smiles, and quiet laughter. 

“I can’t believe it,” Levi breathed, gazing at Eren’s face like it was treasure. “I just... I can’t believe it.” 

Eren could see the happiness on his love’s face, and he could feel a jolt of excitement run through his veins. “Can’t believe what?” 

That was a difficult question to answer. So much had happened within the past twenty-four hours that it was hard to pinpoint one specific event that had Levi reeling from disbelief. He had thrown his job back in his employers face, he had come out about his relationship with Eren publicly, but most of all the thing that perplexed him was... “I’m just so calm. I didn’t think that I’d feel this calm, and happy.” 

Eren grinned at him, leaning over and planting a kiss on his forehead. “I’m glad that you do.” 

The two slept well that night, drifting off into each other’s arms. Levi snored like a kitten, and the sound in Eren’s ear kept him up for longer than he’d wanted, but he didn’t really care. All that mattered was that he had Levi by his side. 

 

 

Eren awoke to the sound of distant clattering coming from downstairs. His eyelids fluttered open, and he realised that Levi was no longer by his side. Usually the two of them would wake up to Levi’s alarm, but now that Levi was unemployed there was no reason to rush out of bed. Eren groaned as he stretched his arms up into the air, tensing them and then dropping them back down by his sides. His eyes were still heavy, and his body begged him for just five more minutes in bed, but his mind told him that his love was waiting for him downstairs. 

Eren searched the floor for some item of clothing that he could wear, and it took him a moment to remember that all of his clothing had been thrown onto the floor in the front room the night prior. He sighed deeply, swinging his legs over the side of the bed and raising himself to his feet. He could feel coolness on his bare skin as he left the heat of the duvet behind, and he shuddered at the sudden temperature change. 

He rummaged through Levi’s neatly packed drawers, being careful not to mess them as he pulled out a pair of Levi’s boxer shorts. He held them up in front of his face. They were a little small, but they would have to do for now. Eren pulled the shorts on swiftly and made his way down the stairs to find his boyfriend. 

His bare feet padded against the wooden floor as he followed the clattering sound into the kitchen, and as Eren turned the corner he couldn’t hold back the smile that formed on his face. 

Levi was in the middle of setting the table with plates of food, chocolate butter-croissants and tall glasses of fresh orange juice. He was wearing a clean, white apron, the string wrapped around him twice and tied in a bow at the front. He gasped as he looked up and saw Eren standing in the doorway, just watching him. 

“Jesus Christ, Eren!” He hissed, “you scared the crap outa’ me!” 

Eren chuckled under his breath, “sorry, I didn’t mean to startle you." 

Eren watched as Levi’s silver eyes drifted down his barely clothed body, then back up to rest on his grinning face. He looked so smug standing there, all chiseled and perfect. His long hair was a mix between dorky bed-head, and sinful sex hair. 

“For goodness sake Eren,” he breathed. “You didn’t need to come down looking that fucking hot.” His cheeks prickled with familiar heat, and he busied himself with neatening up the table arrangements to distract himself. “Come and sit down, we need to talk about something important.” 

The boy felt his ego double in size at Levi’s reaction to his body, and he hummed in agreement as he took his seat at the table. Levi took a seat across from him, picking up his juice and taking a long, drawn out sip. 

“So what is it that you want to talk to me about?” He asked, tearing off the end of his croissant and shoving it into his mouth greedily. 

Levi rolled his eyes at Eren’s boyish eating habits, picking up his knife and fork and cutting off the chocolatey end of his own breakfast. “Ok,” he began, “I’m just going to cut straight to the point.” 

Eren swallowed his food loudly, “I’m listening.” 

“If you’re for real about not returning to Sakura, then you’re going to need a place to stay. I mean... it’s not like you can stay in your student dorm if you’re not a student.” Levi looked across at Eren, and he knew that the boy knew what he was getting at. He could tell by the fire in his eyes, and the giddy look on his damn face. He sighed deeply, “Now I don’t regret my decision to leave, but I do take full responsibility for putting you in this situation. That’s why even though we’re moving a bit quickly, I’m going to make you this offer...”

“You want me to move in with you!” Eren cried, his eyes were wide with excitement. 

“I... well yes,” Levi admitted. He knew that Eren was going to be overly excited about this. It wasn’t like it was ideal, having a new partner living in his house so quickly, but their situation left them no choice. 

“Yes!” Eren cried, “I would love to! I can’t wait!” 

“Tch,” Levi rolled his eyes, staring Eren down with a lifeless look. “Don’t get too excited. It’s not like I had a choice here.” Levi was telling the truth, he really didn’t have a choice at all. It was either this, or making his boyfriend homeless, but his bland expression hid a certain excitement that he didn’t want Eren to see just yet. 

Eren beamed, his smile as bright as the morning sun as he jumped up out of his seat, running across to wrap his arms around Levi’s shoulders from behind. 

“Hey!” Levi grumbled, grasping at his glass as it wobbled and threatened to spill. “Knock it off! I’m trying to eat!” 

Eren loosened his grip a little, instead planting an army of kisses across Levi’s face and head. His heart was so full of love that he thought it might burst, and all that he wanted to do was share that feeling with the one that he cared about the most. 

“Thank you so much, Levi!” He grinned, “We’re going to have such a good time! I promise I’ll be the best room-mate ever!”

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Love you all <3


	37. The Box

Levi hadn’t expected it, but discussing the logistics of Eren moving in proved to be relatively easy. In fact, the boy was practically willing to do whatever he was asked. He was willing to clean and tidy, to cook, he had even agreed to give Levi his alone time to read although the man was skeptical as to whether he could really keep that up. Eren was hardly the subtle type, and with Eren now living in his house he was sure that he could kiss his free time goodbye. 

That was ok though, no matter how much he didn’t like to admit it everything was better with Eren around. 

“Ok,” Eren said, closing the mobile banking app on his phone and looking across the table at Levi. “My mobile banking is being... weird. I’m not sure what it’s doing.” 

Levi sighed deeply, sticking his hand out. “Pass it here.” He took the phone from Eren’s hand, eyes scanning the details on the screen. He couldn’t help but notice the excessive amount of money in the boy’s bank account, and he immediately scrolled upwards to avoid looking. It wasn’t his business, but he had no idea that Eren was so damn rich!

“What exactly are you trying to do here?” He asked, brow raised as he shot Eren a suspicious glance. 

“I wanted to cancel the standing orders I had set up for my uni accommodation, but it wouldn’t let me. It keeps asking me for a password or something, I don’t know what the hell it is though so I just guessed, and now it won’t let me do anything!” 

“Ugh,” Levi groaned, sliding the phone across the table to Eren. The boy stopped it with his hand, staring over at Levi with a blank expression on his face. “You idiot, the bank has obviously blocked your actions because you typed your password in wrong so many times. Honestly Eren, that was kinda dumb.” 

“What?” Eren whined, glaring at his phone screen, tapping the same buttons over and over as if that would make any difference. “They can do that?” 

Levi rolled his eyes at Eren’s utter lack of knowledge. It was times like this when the age gap between the two was more prevalent than ever. “Yes, they can do that.” 

Eren pouted, dropping his phone down onto the table and resting his head in his hands. “Well then how am I going to cancel my standing orders?”

“You’ll just have to go down to the bank and sort it out with them, and I’d do it as soon as possible because they’ve probably blocked your card.” 

Eren grumbled, sinking down lower into his hands. “That’s annoying, I was gonna clear out my room and bring my stuff over here today but now I’ll have to go to the bank first. What a pain.” 

Levi looked over at him. He looked cute when he pouted like that, and looking at his handsome face only made Levi want to help him out so the two could be home and in each other’s company sooner. “Don’t worry about it, I’ll go down today with the car and clear it for you, it’s not like I have anything else to d....”

“No!” 

Eren yelled the word, and then the room fell silent. The two could only stare at each other, sliver eyes in confusion, green eyes in dismay.

Levi cocked his head to the side, “What? Why not?” 

Eren was stunned. 

He hadn’t meant to yell, to sound so aggressive, but Levi could absolutely NOT clear out his room. It was a job that he had to do alone. 

There were things in his room that it would be best for his love not to see. Things that if he saw, he may misunderstand. Things that honestly, Eren didn’t really need any more. 

“I mean...” he began, smiling sweetly at his love. “Don’t you worry about it. It’s my mess, I’ll clean it up myself.” 

“Don’t be a moron,” Levi sighed, “It’ll be much easier with my car, plus you’re already out anyway. I need to occupy my mind or I’ll probably go crazy.” 

“I... I just...” 

Shit, Eren didn’t like having to lie to Levi, in fact he hated it with a passion. He tried though, his brain tried to formulate some excuse, any excuse that would deter Levi from wanting to ever step foot in his room, but as he tried to think, he just couldn’t do it. “I’d just rather do it myself if that’s ok.”

“O....k?” 

Levi looked a little confused to say the least, but Eren knew that it was for the best. Levi did not need to see the things that he kept in his old bedroom, because now that Levi was by his side those things no longer held any value to him. 

It was all going to be fine, no problem at all. All he needed to do was visit the bank and then tomorrow he could clear out his old room all by himself. 

“Thanks my love,” me smiled, bringing himself to his feet and walking around the table to plant a tender kiss on Levi’s lips. “I’ll get ready to go right away. I love you.” 

Levi felt his heart flutter as Eren’s soft lips graced his own. “I love you too.” 

 

Eren left the house, leaving Levi all alone. 

He slumped down on the sofa, turning the TV on and flicking through the channels. Daytime television was boring as fuck, no matter how many channels he skipped by nothing managed to catch his eye. There were adverts, more adverts, crappy talk shows where celebrities would talk about their dumb new films. It was all trash, utter rubbish! As the minutes ticked by and Levi zoned out from listening to the TV, even the sound of his own breathing became annoying.

He wasn’t used to this: this boredom, this level of having nothing to do. 

Of course he could always apply for jobs if he was that desperate, but he didn’t even know where to start. Sakura was the only university close enough to work at, and honestly he wasn’t sure what else he could go for. He knew that he had options, but he didn’t even know where to begin! Surely this was something that he had to discuss with Eren, after all they would have to find jobs close to one another or this would never work, so it wasn’t like Levi could just apply for a job without talking to Eren first.

Levi sighed, turning his attention back to the TV, finally settling on some boring talk show, but not really watching it. 

He needed Eren here. Eren would know what to do, or he would at least serve as some form of entertainment to drag him out of the dullness and monotony of his day. 

As the minutes dragged by Levi began to think about Eren more and more. He’d been so happy since Levi had asked him to move in, excited like a child on his birthday, but this morning he had acted a little... strangely. Levi had only wanted to help when he offered to clear out Eren’s room, but Eren had seemed to panic. 

The more that Levi thought, the more he realised that it was a strange reaction.   
He was normally so calm and composed, and his reaction only gave further credence to the thought that kept re-appearing in Levi’s head: What exactly did Eren have in his room that he didn’t want Levi to see? 

The man felt kind of stupid for overthinking the situation, but he could forgive himself since he really had nothing better to do. 

Eren’s bedroom was probably just super messy or something, the boy knew how particular Levi could be with his cleaning and he likely just didn’t want Levi to see his mess. Or maybe he had some embarrassing posters, maybe he was just worried about Levi running into one of his housemates and getting bombarded with questions. It was probably just something dumb and unimportant like that. Actually, it was kind of adorable that Eren would get all worked up over keeping up his perfect appearance like that. It’s not like Levi would mind what his damn bedroom looked like. 

Levi grinned, sitting upwards and smiling into thin air. The more he thought about it the cuter it seemed, and the sillier. 

There was no state that Eren’s room could be in that could possibly be worse than the boredom that he was experiencing in this moment. His eyes scanned the desolate room, searching for... aha! He zoned in on a sparkling silver item on the table. Eren’s keys, he’d left them right there on the table. 

Levi weighed his options. On one hand, he could sit here at home bored out of his mind, respecting Eren’s completely silly wishes and leaving his boyfriend to do all of the hard work. On the other, he could grab those keys, get in his car, and surprise Eren with all of his belongings by the time he got home. Maybe he would even get to see Eren’s cute, embarrassed blush when he realised that Levi had seen the state of his elusive bedroom. Maybe Eren would be a little angry at him for disobeying his wishes... maybe that anger could turn into some really hot sex....

Levi didn’t need to convince himself any further, he was doing Eren a favour whether the boy wanted him to or not. 

He grabbed the keys, then as quick as a flash he was out of the door, in his car, on his way to Sakura. 

 

The drive didn’t take very long, and neither did finding Eren’s student accommodation block. Levi looked up at L Block, Tomlinson Building, this was the place alright. 

It was much smaller than Levi had expected, much dingier too. Was this really the kind of crap that the students were paying through the nose through? He rolled his eyes, the Sakura higher ups really were fucking cheapskates. 

The ex-professor strolled through brightly lit corridors with stained, white walls. Each wooden door was close to the next, so the rooms couldn’t have been very large either. He guessed that students wouldn’t often care about their rooms though, most would be too busy fucking and partying to bother what shit-hole they came home to. Not his Eren though. Eren was a man of class, he deserved much more than this crappy apartment building.

The thought of Eren having to live in a shit-hole like this really pissed him off, and it made Levi even more determined to give the boy a good home with him. He scanned the numbers on the doors until he reached number 23, gazing down at the matching number on Eren’s room key. 

This was the room, Eren’s room. 

Levi could feel a chill run down his spine as he turned the key in the lock, and heard the lock click. He hadn’t seen Eren’s room before, hadn’t even thought about it, but now his curiosity was piqued. With one hand on the dull, bronze handle, he swung open the door. For some reason his heart was racing, and he was expecting the absolute worst, but when he set his eyes on Eren’s bedroom he found that... it was... perfect. 

It was perfect. 

It looked tidy, clean, almost immaculate. Of course, Levi could’ve done a better job of cleaning it himself, but for a young man Eren was particularly clean. The walls were clear and white, no embarrassing, outlandish posters or terrible artwork. There were a few books on the shelves, a succulent house plant on the desk, but that was it. 

Honestly Levi had been expecting a complete and utter shit-show with the way that Eren had reacted to him earlier, but it was practically spotless. 

“Shit,” Levi scolded himself out loud, a sudden heaviness in his gut that he recognised as guilt. 

Maybe Eren had been so keen to clear out his room by himself because he wanted to say goodbye to his housemates, or maybe he had some great times here and simply wanted to say goodbye to his sanctuary space. 

Levi slapped his palm up to his forehead, groaning in annoyance. Eren was going to think that he was a total ass for disregarding his feelings like this, but he was already here now. He may as well do the job that he came here to do. He would just have to make it up to his boyfriend later... he could think of a few ways already, and he knew they would work. 

Slowly but surely Levi began to move some of the heavier items from Eren’s room into his car. The full length mirror was a struggle. Not only was Levi short, but he was pretty weak too, and manoeuvring delicate glass through doorways on his own was not exactly his cup of tea. No matter the struggles however he kept pushing through, loading the boot and back seats of his car with Eren’s belongings one by one. It was gruelling, but anything beat daytime television. 

An hour passed by as if it was two, and Levi’s arms were aching like fuck. He slammed his car door, sealing the vast majority of Eren’s things inside. He wasn’t expecting the boy to have so much crap! His room looked immaculate, it was a wonder that he’d managed to hide this much rubbish in it! 

There was only one task left, Eren’s wardrobe. 

Damn, Levi sighed to himself, rubbing his throbbing biceps with his slim fingers. He really hoped that Eren didn’t have a lot of clothes. 

He stood in front of the wardrobe, gazing up at it’s height. It was a little daunting for a man of Levi’s stature, standing much taller than he did. If the inside was any taller then he was sure that he wouldn’t be able to reach Eren’s damn clothing at all, and going back to his boyfriend and telling him that fact would’ve been way to embarrassing of a venture. 

He placed his hand on the handle, taking a deep, drawn out breath, when all of a sudden his phone vibrated in his pocket. “For fucks sake,” he grumbled, digging it out with a scowl on his face. 

His expression softened when he saw that it was a text message, from Eren. 

Eren <3 LOML: Where are you? and where is my key? 

Levi grimaced at the sappy name. LOML stood for Love Of My Life, and as much as Levi wanted to hate the way that Eren would sneak onto his phone and change his contact name, he just couldn’t. He did notice however that this wasn’t like Eren, there were no kisses, no niceties. It was so blank, to the point. Not like his boyfriend at all. 

Suddenly another message came through. 

Eren <3 LOML: Did you go to my room? Please tell me are you there?

This was just fucking weird. Levi tapped back a quick message. 

‘Sorry I was bored as fuck, won’t be long now just gonna clear out your wardrobe then i’ll be back home. love you x’

Levi could see the three dots dancing on his screen immediately, indicating that his boyfriend was typing again. He could feel his breath hitch in his throat. The way that Eren was acting was triggering his anxiety in a massive way. He didn’t know if he was just overthinking things, or if the way that Eren was acting right now was really that strange and out of character. 

His phone vibrated in his hand:

Eren <3 LOML: Just wait outside I’m coming over right now. Don’t do anything else I love you.

“Pffft,” Levi spat. His boyfriend was always like this, trying to do everything for Levi as if he was incapable of doing things himself. 

Stupid Eren, he was perfectly capable of clearing the damn wardrobe on his own. He didn’t need Eren’s help. 

Just because he was tall and built like a damn god didn’t mean that Levi couldn’t handle this all on his own. He’d been completely fine when moving the rest of the boy’s damn crap. 

Levi shoved his phone back down into his pocket and flung the wardrobe door open. There were items of clothing hung up neatly, shoes lined up at the bottom too. Levi could feel his heart rate slowing a little as his anxiety began to dissipate.

It was just a regular wardrobe after all. Nothing to be afraid of, nothing that Levi couldn’t handle.

Piece of cake. 

Levi didn’t know what the hell Eren was so worried about. He could feel the constant vibrations in his pocket, but he ignored them, instead focusing on balancing on his tiptoes as he slid the hangers off the rail inside the wardrobe. He placed each item of clothing in a pile on the floor, ready to carry to his car. One by one they came off, and item by item Levi began to feel more calm and relaxed. Everything was fine, totally under control, that was until...

“Fuck,” Levi cursed as one of the hangers got stuck on something. He looked upwards, noticing that the sharp part of the hanger was caught on the corner of a large box. Levi squinted to get a better look, and he noticed that there was a shelf at the top that he hadn’t seen before. On this shelf was the problem box, way too high for Levi to reach. 

“Damn it all!” he yelled, holding onto the hanger firmly, trying not to tug the box down onto his head and injure himself. 

He tried adjusting his angle but there was no use, it was well and truly stuck. Levi groaned in frustration, if he wanted to move the damn hanger he would have to pull the box down too. 

Fuck, fuck fuck fuck. 

He could just wait for Eren to arrive, but that would be utterly humiliating. He could imagine the boy looking down at him with those glistening eyes as if he was made of glass, as if he need protecting. Levi could feel a fire burning inside him, he would NOT admit defeat so easily. 

Perhaps if he pulled the box down with the hanger he could catch it in his arms. No problem, right? 

With one swift tug, Levi hoisted the box down, and it landed in his arms. “Shit!” he cried. It was much heavier than he had expected, and the weight of it alone knocked him down onto the ground with a thump. His ass hit the ground with quite a force, and the man winced in pain as the lid slid off, and the contents spilled out across the floor. 

Levi’s eyes were screwed shut, his teeth gritted as his body adjusted to the new ache. “Fuck,” he breathed, letting his eyelids open to view the contents that had scattered onto the floor. He hoped to god that they weren’t fragile or valuable! However, when his eyes scanned across the items, they widened in disbelief. 

“W-What?” 

Levi could feel every muscle in his body tense. His heart began to pound, and he felt dizzier than he ever had before. 

What the FUCK was he looking at? This box was full of... 

As the man glared down at the mess he could feel his phone vibrating in a steady rhythm, and he knew that it was ringing. It was Eren, it must have been, but how could he answer the phone after seeing what he had just seen?

Was this why Eren was so adamant that Levi stayed out of his bedroom? Levi wasn’t sure entirely, he wasn’t even sire exactly what he was looking at, but one thing was for certain: 

He needed to investigate the contents of the box further. Right here, and right now.


	38. A Sickness Exposed

“Is that...” Levi spoke out loud in a hushed tone, his fingers trembling as he picked up a small rectangle of paper off the floor. “Me?” 

Surely enough, as his eyes focused in on the photograph in his hand, the truth began to dawn on him. It absolutely was him, it was unmistakably him, but why? Why did Eren have this? Levi studied the picture further, honing in on the setting. This photograph must have been taken years ago! He was sitting alone in the coffee shop that he used to frequent, reading an old men’s fashion catalogue as he always did. 

Just seeing the picture made his stomach turn. It was taken from inside the building, but who the hell took it? And why the fuck did Eren have it? 

Levi tossed the photograph behind him, turning his attention to the rest of the box’s contents which were mostly scattered across the floor. There were more pictures, and Levi’s eager fingers scooped them up to get a closer look. 

Levi’s heart dropped so low that he didn’t think it would ever come back up. 

His bottom lip trembled fiercely, his eyes widening in an attempt to take in more. Levi blinked ferociously in disbelief, closing his eyes and hoping each time that he opened them that the contents in his hand would shift and mould into something different, something that didn’t make him feel sick to his stomach. 

There were pictures of Levi taken through the window of his own house, one in front of his parents house, pictures that must’ve dated back years and years! 

This was crazy, like actually bat-shit insane! 

The man let each photograph drift down to the ground when he’d seen it, and soon enough the pile scattered on the ground was larger than the pile in his hands. 

His fingers graced the last photograph, and when Levi laid his eyes on it his face went white. 

“W-What the...?”

The last picture was one of him, walking in the street with another man. Levi recognised him instantly, his tall, slim frame and his trademark beige overcoat. The only difference was that the other man a huge, red cross drawn over his face in pen. The cross was etched into the paper, enough to completely disfigure the other man’s face in the picture, and it was clear that Eren had used a great deal of force when drawing it. 

This was a photograph of Levi and Mike. Mike: Levi’s ex-boyfriend, the one that had been sweet and kind and attentive. The one that had turned out to be a god damn criminal in the end. Levi dropped the photograph as if it were burning his hands. Why the fuck would Eren have this? Levi was sure that he’d never even told the boy about Mike before, and even if he had, this didn’t make any sense! 

Had Eren been following him around for all these years? Snapping photos of him without his consent? That was fucked up! 

Levi knew that he should be angry right now, he should be raging, terrified, upset. Right now however he just felt completely numb. It was as if his body hadn’t allowed him to accept the reality of the situation yet. 

Hesitantly, his hands reached out toward the box, that lay on its side facing away from him. What else could Eren possibly be hiding in there? He almost didn’t want to find out, but he needed know.

His fingers shook as he gently grasped the corner of the box, spinning it around slowly until it was facing him. Curious hands delved inside without even looking, pulling out item after item and laying them out on the floor until the box was empty. He winced when he pulled out a pointy piece of porcelain, the sharp edge scraping his finger, but not quite piercing the skin. As he held it up to inspect it he realised that it was a coffee cup, probably broken by the fall. White, and carved with a thin rim, the inside still unwashed and stained with coffee. It looked familiar, and as Levi turned it round he noticed the logo of that same coffee shop, the one where Eren had snapped a picture of him. 

Was this a used coffee cup? Surely, it couldn’t have been one of Levi’s used coffee cups? What the fuck?

The contents only got stranger from there on out: an old pillowcase that he has thrown out years ago, the one glove that he lost last year, old magazine clippings of a male-model with long, sleek hair that Levi had a bit of a crush on back in the day. With every new item Levi’s heart sank a little further, and his eyes began to sting with bitter tears that threatened to spill. 

Some of the items even seemed recent: his blue whiteboard pen that went missing a few weeks ago, a particularly small pine-cone that Levi had been musing about on one of their walks together. Even now when they were a fully fledged couple Eren was still collecting these mementos as if Levi was some kind of celebrity, or a god. 

The man was shaking, still in a state of disbelief, and just when he thought that it couldn’t get much worse his eyes were drawn to a small, black book with a lock. It looked like a diary of some sort, and as much as Levi was reluctant to know what was inside he found himself tugging and clawing and pulling at the lock, trying his best to open it. Levi wasn’t strong even on his best of days, and the fact that he couldn’t defeat even a locked book frustrated him more than he would ever care to admit. 

The lock looked worn, but the book was damn strong, leather bound. Levi couldn’t pull it apart without injuring his fingers and he wasn’t willing to hurt himself like that right now. There had to be a key somewhere, there just had to be. He rummaged around frantically through the mess on the floor, but no matter how hard he looked he couldn’t find one anywhere. 

“C’mon, c’mon...” he mumbled as he sifted through the incriminating evidence in search of the key. “Gotta be here somewhere...” 

He jumped to his feet, determined to see what was inside this intriguing book. Surely it couldn’t be any worse than what he had found so far, but for some reason Levi was stuck on it. 

He needed to know what was inside, he needed to see everything, every single thing that Eren had in that damned box if it killed him! He tore out drawers, dragged out furniture to look behind it, flipped the mattress and the pillows, checking inside all of the casing to try and find the elusive key but it was no use. It was nowhere to be found. 

Levi slumped back onto the floor, defeated. He clutched the book in his hands, doubling over and letting his head rest on his knees as he just sat there. Tears began to soak into his trousers, the moisture slowly sinking through to his skin. 

The cooling sensation of the water was a bitter reminder of what he had just gone through. He tried his breathing exercises, but in this moment nothing could calm his pounding heart. It hurt, his entire chest hurt, but for some reason he didn’t feel any panic. 

All that he felt was an overwhelming sense of betrayal. 

 

Eren dove out of the taxi door, running as fast as his legs could carry him toward the building where he once lived. Maybe he wasn’t too late, maybe Levi hadn’t found the box of memorabilia that he used to comfort himself as he waited for his love. Perhaps Levi would still be in the middle of clearing his room out, and Eren could pick the box up himself and carry it to the car, able to dispose of it at a later date. Levi wouldn’t question what was in the box, it probably wouldn’t even cross his mind to ask. Besides, he was much too short to reach it. 

His heart was beating like a drum, body taken over by pure adrenaline that powered him. The adrenaline made him faster as he flung open the door, speeding down the hallway like he was running for his life. 

Every step that he took was bringing him unwittingly to his own demise. 

Eren could see that his bedroom door was wide open, and he bolted to it, grasping the frame as he stumbled into the room. 

“Levi!” 

Silver eyes were bloodshot and sore as they looked up at him, and the sight in front of him brought him down to his knees. 

The box was open, the contents scattered messily around the floor. Levi was on the ground, clutching his black diary between his delicate hands. 

He had seen, he had seen it all. 

The man said nothing as he gazed across at Eren with a blank expression on his face, and a look in his eyes that made Eren want to die. 

“L-Levi, please let me explain.” 

Levi let his mouth fall open as if he were about to speak, but no words came out. 

“P-Please, please my love!” Eren’s voice broke as he begged, his hands scrambling to scoop up all of the photographs on the floor as if that would reverse the damage that they had already done. “Don’t just sit there in silence, huh... say something, anything.” 

Levi sat there staring, eyes burning deep into Eren’s soul. 

“Are you angry? Huh? Are you upset? Confused?” Eren spoke without thinking, his brain going into overdrive as he tried desperately tried to figure out a way to fix the situation in which he found himself. He sounded manic, his eyes were wide and full of madness, and for the first time in his life Levi thought that Eren looked scary. “I-If you just let me explain then maybe you won’t be so confused, yeah? I-If you just let me...”

“No.” Levi interrupted Eren, his voice sharp like a blade. 

“But... but Levi I...”

“Save it Eren.” Levi brought himself up to his feet, still clutching the book in his hands. The man stared down at Eren coldly, surprising himself with his own calmness. The reality hadn’t quite set in yet, but he knew one thing for sure. “I’ve seen enough. I’m done.” 

Eren gazed up at Levi in horror. “What... what do you mean? Done with what? Do I at least get a chance to explain myself, Levi please... I love you.” 

“You don’t love me Eren,” the pain in his voice was evident, and Eren could feel his heart shatter into a million tiny pieces. “You’re sick, you’re just sick. You never loved me.” 

“What? No!” Eren lunged forward, grasping onto Levi’s trouser leg as tears began to well up in his eyes. “I love you, I love you, I’ve always loved you, please, please believe me!” His speech turned to sobs, his hands trembling against Levi’s leg as he pleaded with his love. 

Levi sighed, shoving Eren off his leg with one quick kick to his stomach. It was soft, but Eren was unprepared, and he doubled over. 

“Don’t come back to my house again. Sleep here tonight, and after that get your own place far, far away from here.”

“Levi, no don’t say that!” 

“I know you can afford your own place. Stay the fuck away from me Eren. I don’t want to see you again. If I ever lay eyes on you again after today I’m calling the police.”

With those words Levi turned and walked out of the room, not giving Eren another glance as he left. 

“No,” Eren spoke softly to himself, his entire body shaking fiercely. “No, no, no, no.” His sobs broke out into quiet, but manic laughter. He slapped himself across the face, balling his hands into fists and punching himself in the head over and over, hoping that if he could knock himself out he would wake up again in Levi’s bed and this would all have been a dream. 

This couldn’t be happening. This wasn’t real. 

“What am I doing?” Eren hissed at himself. Levi was getting away. His entire reason for living was getting further away from him by the second. Eren had to stop him, he had to fix this!

He scrambled to his feet, hands on the floor like an animal as he steadied himself upwards. He didn’t hesitate for a moment before he sprinted down the hall after his love, a determination in his heart that was unrivalled by anything that he’d ever felt before. 

Levi could hear his footsteps pounding against the tiles, and as he spun around to look at Eren the boy’s strong arms came to grasp his own, pinning him up against the wall. Levi gasped at the shock, struggling against Eren’s superior strength to no avail. 

“What the FUCK!?” He yelled, his arms aching as he pushed back against Eren with all of his might. The boy didn’t budge an inch, keeping Levi held in place firmly with a look on his face that made Levi’s blood run cold. 

“Just listen to me you NEED to hear me out!” He stared down at Levi with wide eyes. The man looked so vulnerable in his grasp, and Eren was filed with a sense of guilt. “I’m sorry, I’m so sorry for doing this but you left me no choice!” 

“Tch,” Levi snarled, kicking Eren in the shin, hard and swift. The boy winced through the pain, but held his posture. “Get off me Eren or I swear to god I’ll...!” 

“T-T-The things in that box, it’s not what you think! I-I’ve loved you from the beginning! I needed something to feel close to you whilst I wanted until I was of age for you! That’s what you wanted isn’t it? That’s why you rejected me back in high school, because I was too young, right?” 

“Eren, GET OFF ME!” Levi kicked again, and Eren knew that he was going to be bruised severely. 

“I couldn’t stand being apart from you for so long, I- I just couldn’t take it! Please, you have to understand!” 

“So you thought it was appropriate to stalk me? Steal my stuff? Take my picture without permission? Just because you missed the delusional crush that you felt!” Levi was shouting now, his teeth bared, his face going red with anger. 

“S-Stalking? No! No I was just learning about you so I could be perfect for you! The perfect partner... I’ve been that right? I’ve been perfect for you, I’ve looked perfect for you, I’ve been there for you, no other partner has even come close!” 

“I didn’t ask for any of that crap!” Levi yelled, adrenaline making him stronger so it was harder for Eren to pin him in place. “And other partners? You don’t know anything about my other partners! You don’t know...” Levi’s eyes widened as a sudden suspicion hit him like a punch to the gut. “You... you had a picture of me with Mike didn’t you?” 

“Levi please!” 

“You... you’d been watching us together hadn’t you? You... no. You didn’t...” 

Eren almost choked on his own breath, his irises shaking as he begged Levi with his eyes: Please, please don’t finish that sentence. 

Suddenly Levi’s body went limp in his arms, the anger faded from his face and was replaced with a look of pure sadness. “He always said that those drugs were planted, but I never believed him.” Eren let a gentle sob leave him. “Eren, please tell me that you didn’t...” 

What could Eren do? 

What could he say? 

He couldn’t tell Levi the truth, but he couldn’t lie to him either. 

This left Eren just staring at Levi in silence, and that silence spoke a thousand words. 

“Holy shit,” Levi breathed, realising for the first time just how dangerous Eren could be. “You did...” 

Levi felt like a complete fool. How far had Eren’s manipulation of his life gone? What else had he done that Levi didn’t know about? If he was willing to go as far as to plant drugs on a man then who knew what else he could be capable of! 

Although Mike hadn’t been severely punished, he had lost his job and he had lost Levi in an instant. Did Eren know that Mike wouldn’t be jailed? Did he plan it that precisely? Researching the exact amount of drugs needed for a minimal effect with the law. 

It didn’t really matter, the fact was that it had happened. Eren was insane! 

Levi felt like a puppet, held up by Eren’s long fingers and lead through the last few years unknowingly by the boy’s manipulation. Had Eren always been there? Like a shadow lurking in the background, always watching, making sure that everything went according to his plan. 

“Do you know what it’s like?” Eren cried, grasping Levi’s arms tighter in a desperate ploy for his attention. “To love somebody with every fibre of your being, for your whole world to revolve around them, and to have to be apart from them for years and years and years! It was HELL! It was hell to love you so much and see you getting on with your life without me, knowing that we were meant to be together! No photograph or item of your clothing could fill the void that you left in my life when I was away from you, but I had to try for the sake of my own sanity! I’d go INSANE without you Levi! I need you, I love you!” 

Levi gave Eren another, harder kick to the shin right against the already forming bruise, and this time the boy leg go of him. Eren looked down at him and he swore that his eyes were red with fire. 

“YOU’RE ALREADY INSANE EREN!” Levi yelled so loud that the entire building had probably heard him. “You’re sick, mentally ill. You don’t love me at all you’re just obsessed with me! You’re delusional!”

“I...” Eren’s voice was quieter now, as if he were trying to compensate for how loud Levi was being. “I might be sick, but that doesn’t mean that I don’t love you.” 

“Oh, fuck you!” Levi spat, “if you loved me then you would’ve never done this to me! I gave up EVERYTHING for you, everything! My entire career, my reputation! I put it all on the line for you and now I feel like the biggest idiot in the history of mankind!” 

Eren took a step backwards, his expression softening, his eyes wide. 

“I can’t believe that I fell for this! I should’ve known from the start. All the signs were there but I just didn’t want to see them!” 

“L-Levi, p-please, I’ll do anything. I’ll get better, I-I’ll go to counselling. I won’t be sick any more I promise. I’ll do anything that you want, just please, p-please don’t leave me!” 

Eren looked pitiful, sobbing and pleading so desperately. Levi knew that he should feel disgusted, outraged, but all of a sudden he saw a look in Eren’s eyes that he hadn’t seen for years. It was that same tortured look that Eren had when Levi rejected him in high school, that same lost glare that had made Levi feel so sorry for him in the past. It must’ve been deja vu, because Levi could feel those same feelings of guilt building up inside him. 

His first instinct was to take Eren in his arms and tell him that everything would be ok, to tell him that he was going to get better, that he wouldn’t have to hurt any more. He very quickly shook that thought out of his mind.

Levi hated that about himself. He hated how weak he became in Eren’s presence. 

For once, he had to be strong. 

“If you say you’ll do anything for me then just go away. Don’t contact me again, don’t come near me again, don’t even look at me again.” 

Levi could feel his heart deflating as he spoke. Even now, after all of this, he still loved Eren with all of his heart. He may have been terrifying, sick, cruel, but Levi still felt pain as he turned to walk away. 

“Goodbye, Eren.” 

Eren watched as Levi walked away, and he suddenly noticed that Levi was still holding his diary in his hands. This was a nightmare, he didn't want Levi to see the shit that was in that thing! His legs were shaky, but he managed to follow Levi outside.

Levi walked quickly to his car, flinching when he noticed that it was still full of Eren’s things. 

Crap. 

He didn’t have time to unload it, not with Eren on his tail. He could hear the boy calling out to him, begging him to stay, to give him one more chance. Tears stung his eyes as he walked away further, not daring to look back in case his feelings froze him in place. Just a few parking spaces away he could see a red taxi, the driver had a window cracked and was leaning out smoking a cigarette. He quickly stubbed it out when he saw Levi approaching, and Levi didn’t even give the man a chance to react before jumping into the back seat. 

“Aspland Grove please, and make it quick.” 

“Uhh, yeah ok.” The driver seemed a little startled, but he complied, and Levi heard the engine of the car begin to hum.

He knew that he shouldn’t look out of the window as the car drove away. 

He knew that he should keep his eyes fixed forward, there was no need to look back. 

However, Levi had always had a problem with letting his urges overpower him. 

As the car began to move he looked back, and he wasn’t ready for the sharp feeling in his chest when he did so. 

It seemed that their commotion has drawn a small crowd, and as Eren collapsed into a pile of messy sobs and screams in the car park they ran to his rescue. 

It was a sight that Levi wished he hadn’t seen, only because it made his heart hurt so much. It didn’t matter though, this was right. Eren had done some fucked up things and now he was paying for them. 

It served him right. He deserved it, or so Levi told himself.


	39. Dressing Wounds

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Ok so I just wanted to let you all know how grateful i am to ALL of you for reading this. Reading your comments in the few days after posting a chapter is one of the best parts of my week and I really, really appreciate all of you so much! I love writing, and this is the first long story that I've ever written so having everyone's support has just been so amazing for me! 
> 
> So honestly, from the bottom of my heart, THANK YOU <3
> 
> (Also TRIGGER WARNING for this chapter: I guess some of what happens in this chapter COULD POTENTIALLY be considered self harm so I thought I would give that a quick mention. Stay safe and happy people!

Levi had never felt so stupid in his entire life. 

He lay slouched on the sofa, curtains drawn, lights off. 

His eyes traced the room and if he had the emotional capacity left within him he would’ve been disgusted in himself. Crushed, empty beer cans were scattered around the room, carelessly thrown in all directions. Bright, morning sunlight filtered through the thin gap in the curtains, and as Levi squinted at the brightness he realised that he hadn’t slept all night. The TV was still on, but Levi hadn’t even glanced at it in the last few hours. He’d been staring blankly into nothingness for god knows how long now, thinking of nothing but his own utter idiocy. 

Once upon a time he had believed that he was an intelligent man, but those delusions had been shattered along with his heart when he’d found out the truth. 

Eren Jaeger, that stupid fucking kid. Not only had he been able to wrap Levi around his little finger since coming to Sakura, but apparently he had been doing so for years. That boy didn’t love him, he was just sick! He was a stalker, a trickster, a master manipulator and Levi had fallen for it all hook line and sinker. And he’d also... fallen for him. 

“Tch,” Levi squeezed his eyes shut, trying his best to force out tears, but none came. He felt so low in this moment that it was overwhelming. His stomach was knotted up, his chest felt tight, and the feeling of utter defeat had built up until his body completely succumbed to it. 

He wanted, no, he needed to let these feelings out, but no matter how hard he tried he just couldn’t do it. Instead he simply lay there trying to force tears out of his dry eyes like the pathetic, worthless human that he knew he was. 

Levi kept repeating the same questions to himself over and over, each one felt like a punch to the heart. 

Why did he choose that fucking kid over his job? A career that he’d worked so hard to build up. 

Why did he let that brat into his heart? Into his home? Into his very soul? He’d believed every lie, every messed up, fabricated story that Eren had spun for him. 

How fucking stupid was he? Levi had seen Eren lie so many times, to Rod Reiss, to Historia, why couldn’t he see that he was just another one of Eren’s playthings? Just another one of his tools to lie to and destroy like everyone else. 

Eren had told Levi that he loved him, but how could he? How could he claim to love him when all he did was lie to him and stalk him and destroy every relationship that he’d ever had? 

Levi could feel the anger bubbling up inside him, burning in the pit of his stomach like wildfire. The questions kept spinning round in his head, and he didn’t try to stop them because at least now he was actually feeling something. Even if that feeling was pure rage and humiliation, at least it was something. 

The man clasped the small, black diary, squeezing it between his hands firmly. It was made of tough leather, and Levi’s strongest grip didn’t even crease the binding. He didn’t know what to do with it. He didn’t want to damage it by trying to break it, and at this point he didn’t even know if he could handle what was inside. 

He just wasn't ready, he couldn't handle another blow right now. One more shock to the system could tip him over the edge and he knew that for a fact. 

He already felt so low. He thought that he'd found his future when he found Eren, he thought that he'd found a man who would love him until the day he died. Knowing that he couldn't be with Eren was so fucking bitter, like cutting your skin and rubbing a freshly cut lemon right into the wound. 

He fucking hated this feeling. He hated Eren! He loved Eren! He wanted to punch him, kiss him, fuck him, shoot him, destroy him! It was so conflicting, because as much as he was horrified by the boy's actions he still couldn't kill the part of him that loved the stupid kid with all of his heart! It was demoralising, shameful, disgusting! Because he knew that if Eren came to him in tears and begged for his forgiveness there was still a pure part of him deep down that would want to forgive him and help him and be with him!

Levi inhaled deeply, huffing out air through his nose that felt like searing smoke. Without processing his own actions he threw the diary at the TV with all of his might, yelling loudly as he did so. 

“Idiot! Fucking idiot!” 

The book collided with the screen at full force, and suddenly an earsplitting cracking sound echoed throughout the room as the glass broke, and the diary clattered down to the floor. 

Levi dragged himself to his feet, eyes wildly scanning the room for his next target. 

He needed a release, and he needed it now. He was all cried out, and now all that he could think about was how cold it would be falling asleep at night without Eren by his side.

His hand landed on a glass candelabra, and all of a sudden Levi’s mind flashed back to the night that he had last used it. The night that Eren had come over for the first time, the night that he had fallen in love with Eren for real. He had cooked and cleaned and decorated the table with dazzling candles, and how did the kid repay him? By ruining his fucking life! 

“FUCK YOU!” He cried, lobbing the candelabra out of the living room door into the hallway. It smashed against the hallway mirror, sending sharp, pointed shards flying across the house like tiny daggers. “Fuck you! I fucking hate you!” 

He didn’t even know who he was speaking to right now. Was it Eren, or was it himself? 

Who cared, he hated both equally in this moment. His chest was heaving, his eyes narrowed as he paced over to the mirror, not even trying to avoid the broken glass on the floor as it crunched under his bare feet painfully. The pain was almost a release, and he didn’t even wince as the sharp glass sliced the bottoms of his feet. His heart was beating too quickly for him to even realise, his body fuelled by a sick and twisted adrenaline that made him want to twist his feet into the glass.

Levi glared at himself in the broken mirror, his distorted reflection glaring back at him with the fury of a thousand soldiers in his eyes. He was truly broken: No job, no boyfriend, no self-respect. 

Of course nobody loved him, he was a mess. 

Even now with the adrenaline and the rage coursing through his body like a god damn hurricane he knew that he was weak, pathetic, worthless. When he closed his eyes all he saw was Eren. Those dazzling, green eyes, that perfect smile. In his darkest moment it was as if Eren’s presence still lingered around him, coating him like a blanket of protection. How could all of that have been nothing but a lie? 

Ugh! 

Levi stormed back into the front room, throwing himself back down onto the sofa face first, burrowing his face into the soft pillows. He could barely feel the pain of his wounds, but he could feel slippyness of the floor so he knew that he was bleeding. 

The room was filled with the sound of the crackling static from the broken TV, and Levi’s short, sharp breaths. 

He really was a fool. Not only had Eren ruined his life, cost him his job, and any hope of happiness, but right now as he lay broken and wounded all that Levi wanted was the boy’s strong arms wrapped around him in a sweet embrace. He wanted to nuzzle into Eren’s chest, hear the sound of his beating heart against his ear. That’s where he felt the most safe, the most happy and content. Wrapped up in Eren’s arms was the only place where nothing else existed, because nothing else mattered. 

Why? Why was it that the boy could pierce him so deeply, corrupt him from the inside out and still, all Levi wanted was to be by his side?

“Fuck,” Levi breathed into the pillow rolling over onto his back to stare blankly up at the ceiling. 

He needed to pull himself together, he needed to get Eren out of his mind, out of his vocabulary, and out of his life. 

That boy did not love him, and right here and now, Levi promised himself that he would never open his heart up to anybody ever again. 

This time, he really meant it. 

 

All of a sudden three abnormally loud knocks rapped against the front door. 

Levi lifted his head off the pillow, scowling through the wall in the direction of the door. That better fucking not be Eren! It couldn’t be! Levi could not handle seeing him right now! He’d threatened to call the police if Eren didn‘t back the hell off and yet here he was at his fucking door! Unbelievable.

“PISS OFF!” Levi yelled as loudly as he could. His voice broke, and he buried his face back into the darkness of the pillow. 

He couldn’t believe the fucking nerve of that boy! 

“Levi!” The man’s ears pricked up at the sound of the familiar voice at the door. “Levi are you in there? Are you ok man?”

That wasn’t Eren. 

Levi jumped up to his feet immediately, and that’s when the pain kicked in. He hissed through gritted teeth, collapsing onto the floor as the fresh wounds on the bottoms of his feet flared with throbbing, stinging pain. He rolled over onto his side, curling up as he groaned through the terrible sensation. 

“Levi I’m coming in ok? Eren gave me his key so don’t freak out, I’m worried about you!” The comforting voice called out to him, and Levi could hear the click of the lock opening, and the careful opening and closing of the door followed by heavy footsteps. 

“Tch,” Levi huffed in humiliation, knowing that his best friend was going to walk in and see him lying on the floor like a god damn drunken mess. 

“Hey Levi, Eren told me you guys had a pretty serious fight and you might need some friendly company, I brought beers and a movie and I thought we could... HOLY FUCKING SHIT!” Erwin noticed the broken glass in the hallway first, smeared in heavy, red blood. As soon as he saw it his heart began to race, and he sped round the corner to find his friend curled up on the floor, eye-bags bigger than Rod Reiss’s gut and surrounded by crushed up beer cans. 

“What the...? Shit man I didn’t realise it was this bad! Where’s your first aid kit?” 

 

Erwin was strong, but he knew that Levi was a proud man; instead of picking him up like a damn baby he hoisted the smaller man’s arm over his shoulder and led him to the sofa. The room was dark and it smelled like fucking depression, so Erwin flicked on the warm lamp in the corner, and dug through Levi’s cupboards until he found his friend’s scented candles. Before too long the room was looking much more cozy, and smelling more like cinnamon than regret. 

It was a good job that Levi was so well stocked up with his first aid kit so Erwin didn’t have to leave the house for antiseptic or bandages. He didn’t think that he could’ve left Levi alone in this state anyway, he was clearly on a path of self-destruction. 

“Ouch! Fuck!” Levi winced as Erwin dabbed the antiseptic covered cotton-wool into the wounds on his right foot. “That hurts like hell.” 

“Yeah?” Erwin frowned up at him from the ground where he was currently knelt. “Well maybe next time don’t walk over shards of glass with bare feet.” Levi looked away in shame, and Erwin felt guilt begin to set in. “I’m sorry,” he sighed, dabbing the cotton-wool a little further down the man’s injured foot and earning himself another sharp gasp. “I’m just worried about you.” 

“Yeah I know,” Levi said, still not able to bring himself to look in Erwin’s direction due to the embarrassment. “I was just angry, I shouldn’t have reacted like that.” 

When the professor felt that he’d disinfected the wounds enough he brought out the bandages. Slowly and carefully he began to wrap them around Levi’s foot, making sure that he caused as little pain as possible as he did so. 

“So uhhh...” Erwin began to speak, not quite sure how to word his next question. “What happened? Eren came to my office in quite a... uhh... state. I’ve never seen him like that before, this fight must’ve been a real bust up.” 

Levi could feel his heart jump in his chest at the mention of Eren’s name, and his breath escaped his lungs in a shallow, but audible breath. 

“Sorry!” Erwin cried, halting his bandaging for a moment as he looked up at his disheveled friend. “Am I hurting you?” 

“No, no it’s not that!” Levi assured him, this time looking down to meet his gaze. His sea-blue eyes were brimming with worry, and Levi felt like a total ass. “It’s just... yeah, it was a really bad fight.” 

Erwin neatened the bandages on Levi’s right foot, admiring them for a second before deciding that they were adequate enough to move on to the next. “You uhh... wanna elaborate on that?” He asked, dabbing a fresh piece of cotton wool with anti-septic gel. 

“Mph.” Levi wasn’t sure that he did want to elaborate. 

What could he say? He couldn’t just come right out and say that Eren was a stalker that had been manipulating him for years! That would be way too crazy! Erwin wasn’t a rash or unpredictable guy, but in a situation like this who knew what he would do? He might call the police, and although Levi had considered doing that himself he just wasn’t ready yet. Having Eren arrested wouldn’t do anything for his mental state right now, and he wanted to act in his own time. Plus Eren was in no state to be in prison right now: that could destroy him! He wouldn’t cope in that kind of environment...

Levi stopped his train of thought, internally cursing at himself for even considering Eren’s feelings right now. They shouldn’t matter and they didn’t, no, what was stopping Levi from telling Erwin the whole truth right now must’ve been his pride. It was just to humiliating to tell anyone that he had fallen for Eren’s bullshit like that. 

“I’m not ready to talk about it right now,” Levi sighed, bracing himself for more pain as Erwin raised the soaked cotton-wool up to the fresh wounds on his left foot. “All I’ll say is that he’s a fucked up guy, and it’s over between us, for good.” 

“Hey hang on a minute!” Erwin butted in, “It’s over for good? But the two of you were perfect together!” 

“Tch,” Levi gasped at the pain, before spitting his words out like venom. “Far from it!” 

Erwin looked genuinely upset, and it pissed Levi off like hell. He had to keep reminding himself that Erwin had no idea what Eren was really like. “What did he do that you can’t fix? Did he cheat on you?” 

“What!? No!” Levi yelled a little too loudly. “He would never!... I mean...” 

“Well then it can’t be that bad! Maybe you just need a bit of space, then you can talk it all through and everything will go back to normal.” 

“Erwin,” Levi knew that Erwin would react differently if he only knew the truth, but as tempted as Levi was he just couldn’t tell him. Not yet... maybe not ever. “What part of it’s over for good do you not understand?” 

“I just... I don’t want you to do anything that you’ll regret...”

“And I fucking won’t ok! I’m not stupid!” 

Erwin held the wool down on a particularly deep wound, and Levi yelped out in pain. “Agh! Sorry, sorry!” He took it off immediately, fumbling around with more bandages to try and hide the cut from the bitter air. 

Levi sighed, leaning back against the sofa cushions and staring up at the blank ceiling. “I’m sorry,” he said “I didn’t mean to snap at you, I’m just... If you knew the whole story you’d be on my side, but I’m not ready to tell you yet... Fuck, I know that sounds fucking weird but I...”

“Hey!” Erwin interrupted him, beginning to wrap the clean, fresh bandages around his foot lovingly. “Say no more. You don’t have to tell me anything if you don’t want to.” 

Levi smiled, getting used to the dull, aching sensation of the bandages pressing against his cuts. “Thanks Erwin.” 

“Don’t mention it,” he grinned, feeling warmth spread through his heart at his friend’s appreciation. “And Levi, I am on your side. I’ll always be on your side. The only reason I said those things is because I’ve seen how happy Eren’s made you recently, and well... he seemed really torn up when he came to see me. He just kept begging me to come over and make sure you’re ok, he was worried fucking sick about you Levi.”

“He... he was? Huh.” 

“Yeah he really was. I don’t know what’s happened between you two, but it’s not my business. If you say he’s trash then he's trash. I’ve got your back no matter what.” 

Levi snorted, grinning from ear to ear at Erwin’s ridiculous statements. It was strange how only minutes ago he was just about ready to fade out of existence and now he was fucking smiling like a cheshire cat. 

Erwin was a good man, he really was. The thing that nagged in his mind though was that Eren had asked him to come here. 

Could it be that Eren actually did care about him? 

Wait... no. No, no, fucking no. 

Eren didn’t care about him, he was just obsessed. Either way though, Levi was glad to have Erwin here. He still felt like absolute ass, and he knew that he would for weeks, maybe months... maybe even years. Right now though, having some company and distraction was exactly what he needed.

“He’s... he’s not trash.” 

The words echoed through the room, and Levi gasped when he realised that they had come from his lips. 

“I...I mean. He’s sick, he’s just sick, that’s all.” 

Erwin wrapped up his final bandage, leaning back to admire his handiwork. “Sure man,” he said calmly, “whatever you say.” He stood up, scanning the total mess of a front room with a furrowed brow. “You lean back and relax, I’ll start cleaning.” 

“What?” Levi leaned forward as if he wanted to stand, but Erwin’s strong arm blocked him from doing so. “You don’t need to clean my fucking house I’m perfectly capable of...” 

“Ah Ah Ah,” the professor tutted, flashing a dazzling smile at his frustrated friend. “There’s nothing wrong with accepting a bit of help every now and again little man, and right now you sure do need it.” 

“Tch,” Levi scowled. He could feel the tiredness weighing down his eyelids, making his head feel foggy. “Fine, do what ya want.” 

“I would say I’d put a film on for you, but umm...” they both looked over at the cracked TV screen, and Levi groaned at his own idiotic actions. “How about you just get some sleep hmm? I’ll get you a blanket.” 

Erwin busied off into the other room, and Levi let his body go limp, falling down onto the sofa. 

Having Erwin over was... nice. It really was, but the absolute despair still weighed heavy on his heart, and when he closed his eyes to try and drift off to sleep, all he could see was Eren’s face.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Fasten your seat-belts because next chapter is an Eren chapter


	40. The Breakdown: Part 1

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Can't believe I've made it to 40 chapters! Thank you all for sticking around <3

‘Dear Levi...’ 

No, that sounded too formal. 

‘Levi, my love...’ 

Hmm no, after everything he probably wouldn’t like that. 

“Ugh!” Eren groaned, scrunching up the paper in his hand and throwing it against the wall. It fell down with a crunch against the ever-building pile of other failed letters at the far end of Eren’s bedroom. The sound broke the deafening silence that had hung in the room for the past few hours, every moment of it driving Eren further and further toward insanity.

It had been three days since everything exploded in his face. Three days since he’d seen or heard from Levi at all. He knew that he needed to give the man space, but it was easier said than done. On one side he had the fact that his entire being ached without Levi close to him, on the other, he loved Levi so much that he couldn’t bring himself to go to him when he knew that he needed space. Each side tugged at him, getting rougher and harder until Eren felt as if he would be ripped in two. It was agonising, and after three days of that torture Eren was teetering on the edge of complete and utter ruin.

The first night without Levi had been a fucking disaster. 

Eren could barely remember anything at all. 

One second Levi was driving away in his taxi, the next, Eren’s eyelids shot open, and he found himself in a warm hospital bed.

Of course, he panicked at first; screaming Levi’s name over and over, demanding to know where Levi was. It got so bad that the doctors had to sedate him, and when he woke up again feeling groggy and weak the doctors but the boy’s first reaction down to shock. 

The doctors had told him that he’d suffered a mental breakdown, and they wanted to keep him in for further treatment, but they were stupid enough the leave Eren on his own, mistaking the boy for a rational person. Eren was up and out of that damned building before they even realised he was gone. 

Overall, the first night was a bit of a blur, and Eren remembered very little. The only part that stuck in his mind was that he spent most of the night still heavily medicated, lying on his back in a cold, damp alleyway; calling out Levi’s name. 

The second night without him wasn’t much better. 

Even though Eren had been kicked off his course he technically still had his accommodation until the end of term, so he decided to go back there. 

The only thing keeping him from running to Levi’s house was the fact that he had threatened to call the police. Eren didn’t quite believe him, but each time he stood up with the intention of running over to Levi’s house nagging questions would pop up like a smack to the cheek, and he would find himself frozen. 

Levi couldn’t get him arrested. He wouldn’t, right? He couldn’t! Not to someone he loved. Eren doubted it, but he was frozen by fear at the thought of it. 

Levi wasn’t in his right state of mind right now. He loved Eren, the boy just knew it! But what if he was still drowning in bitter rage? What if he called the police and when he began to regret it, it was too late? Then Eren would be taken away from Levi for way too long. It would be torture, complete and utter agony! 

Eren kept that idea in the back of his mind for the entire night, and the terror kept him fixed on the seat at his desk, calling and texting Levi’s phone over and over and over. Each time he called, the phone wouldn’t connect, but each time Eren clung to the sliver of hope that maybe it would be different the next time. 

He spent the majority of the night listening to the monotonous beeping sound that Levi’s phone made when he didn’t pick up, his tears illuminated by the backlight as they rolled off the screen.

Now, it was the third night, and Eren had just about reached his limit. He was all cried out, sleep deprived, and incredibly agitated. Without crying Eren had no release for his pent up emotion, meaning that he was now thrust head first into a situation where he had to either deal with it head on, or let it build and build until if suffocated him entirely. 

“FUCK!” He tossed his pen against the wall as if he was pitching for baseball, and the flimsy plastic cracked as it hit the hard surface. Since Levi wasn’t answering his calls of messages Eren thought that he’d write him a letter, but he felt too defeated to keep going. He didn’t know what the fuck to write, and he knew that Levi would just ignore the letters too. He probably wouldn’t even read them, and even if he did what could he possibly say to fix this shit-show? 

Eren let his head drop to his knees, dizziness swimming in his brain as he did so. “Ugh,” he moaned, his body overwhelmed by something that felt like discomfort. It was a feeling that he couldn’t quite describe, as if every single part of his body felt heavy and ached. 

He hadn’t eaten in days, had only slept for a matter of hours over the time span that he had been apart from Levi. It was so difficult to sleep without Levi next to him, and the only way that he could sleep at all was when his body collapsed from complete exhaustion. His body had gone into shock, his brain still unable to fully process what had happened. There were moments when Eren was sure that this was all just a bad, bad dream; moment when he thought that he would just wake up and it all would’ve been his imagination. 

When he realised that he truly was awake it just made him sink deeper into sadness every time. 

Eren felt like a complete and utter idiot! No, worse than an idiot: the worst person to ever exist! 

If he had just gotten rid of those damn trophies then everything would be fine right now! Levi would still be with him, they would be living together like a proper couple! The two would probably be drinking wine on the sofa and fucking right now but no, Eren was too careless and now everything was ruined! 

He knew that Levi would get the wrong idea if he saw that damn box. He should’ve burned the fucking thing months ago! 

Now Levi thought that Eren didn’t even love him, and that was the thing that cut him the deepest. When Levi spoke those awful words it felt as if he had plunged a blade right into Eren’s heart, dragging it out through the wound still beating, and crushing it cruelly in his hand.

Eren may have been sick, he may have done things that Levi thought were unforgivable, but that didn’t mean that Eren didn’t love him. Eren loved Levi with his entire heart and soul. There wasn’t a single thing about the man that Eren didn’t admire with his entire being. 

When Levi was happy, Eren was happy. When Levi was sad, Eren was sad. In fact, Levi’s happiness was so integral to Eren’s existence that Eren was sure that he would do absolutely anything to see the man’s smile just one more time. 

Levi might hate him right now, but he knew that no matter what happened he would always love Levi.

The boy could feel bitter tears stinging the corners of his eyes, and before he knew it they were spilling out, drenching his unwashed face and his dirty jeans. It should have felt like a release, he had wanted to cry for hours, but this just fucking hurt even more. He sobbed, loud and unashamedly, knowing full well that people in the other rooms could probably hear him. He didn’t care in the slightest, none of them mattered, nobody mattered! Nobody except for the man that he loved! 

“Ngh,” Eren choked through desperate sobs as he threaded his fingers through his hair, tugging at it painfully to punish himself for his sins. 

If only he could’ve just wait until he was old enough and met Levi at Sakura without spending all of those years following him around. Everything would be fine now if he’d done that, but he just fucking couldn’t! It had only been three days and Eren already felt like every minute away from his love was piling on top of him and crushing him slowly, agonisingly. How could he have dealt with all of those years!?

His lungs felt deflated, his mouth was dry and every breath that he took was painful. It was like he was choking on oxygen, breathing poison into his body that blistered and burned his insides, and Levi’s sweet kiss was the only antidote. 

“L-Levi!” He sobbed into his knees, finally collapsing onto the floor with a loud thump as the last drops of his strength dissipated into nothingness. 

It hurt, but so did everything else right now. 

What was more pain other than another reminder that his life was just about over? The only thing that was keeping Eren breathing was the possibility that somehow he could find a way to fix what he had broken. 

There had to be a way, there was always a way. Ever since Levi and Eren had been reunited Eren’s brilliant mind had thought of idea after idea that had kept them together through every obstacle. All Eren needed to do was trust himself, have faith that he would eventually find a way to right his wrongs, and then maybe Levi would come back to him. 

He had to try! 

Without Levi, Eren had no reason to live any more. If Levi truly hated him, then Eren would rather be dead. 

“Ack!” Levi choked on thin air again, rolling over onto his back to stare up at the ceiling through teary, bloodshot eyes. “Think,” he told himself out loud. “Think, think please... p-please just FUCKING THINK!” His throat was sore from the amount of times that he’d screamed into the abyss, begging and pleading with himself to come up with a solution, in vain. 

It was like his mind was drawing blanks, and he couldn’t take it any more! 

Why was it fucking taking so long? Huh? Why was his stupid fucking mind not working like it normally did? Every second longer that it took him to come up with a solution was another second longer away from Levi and he was at the end of his tether! 

He was lost, and fucking terrified. The worst part though was the paranoia that seemed to couple so well with the fear. Every day the delusions had grown stronger, and Eren’s mind was nothing but a mess of regret and worry.

If Eren didn’t know that Erwin had been checking up on Levi every day then he would be worried for the man’s safety! 

He kept asking himself the same questions over and over, horrified by the fact that he didn’t know the answers. What if Levi was hurt? Scared? What if he was injured? What if... what if something happened to him and Eren wasn’t there to protect him? W-What if he called Mike and told him to come back after he found out the truth? Fuck! No, no, no what if Levi fucking replaced him?

Eren swore that his pounding heart was breaking his ribcage, and his head was spinning so much that he couldn’t even sit up. 

Different images kept spinning round in his head like a whirlwind: Levi was hurt... he was with another man... he was dead... Eren wasn’t there to protect him... Eren wasn't there to stop him... it was all Eren’s fault! 

“L-Levi... LEVI!” Despite the dizziness Eren launched himself upwards, only for the room to spin like a damn record as he fell back down again onto the hard floor, hitting his head on his desk as he went down. 

“AGH!” He cried out in pain as his head bounced off the desk and hit the ground, and the pain spread like a forrest fire across his skin, and burrowed deep into his skull. 

He was laying completely still, but it felt as if all of his bones were breaking, cracking under the weight of his own emotion one by one. As the last bone cracked, something snapped in his mind, and all of a sudden Eren was completely under the spell of his own paranoia.

“Levi, Levi, Levi.” His name fell from busted lips like a sickening mantra as Eren’s shaking arms brought him up to his knees. His trembling hand grabbed his chair to steady himself as he rose up to his feet, finally able to stand without a problem. 

His breathing was heavy, his eyes glazed over.

His head was throbbing viciously, but he couldn’t take this any more: he HAD to be with Levi, RIGHT NOW.

 

By the time that Eren reached Levi’s street his feet were a mess, and his entire body was shivering. He hadn’t stopped to put shoes or a coat on, he had just started running like a god damn olympic athlete. 

He was careless, and driven by pure adrenaline as he dashed across roads without looking, his feet pounding over sharp stones and litter as he raced towards his love. He couldn’t quite feel the pain yet, but he knew that he would eventually. That didn’t matter though, the only thing that mattered was getting to Levi’s house as quickly as he possibly could. 

He could see the house getting closer and closer as he ran, the outlines of the white window-frames and the neat grass in the garden becoming more visible with each step. 

Eren was breathing so heavily that the air was creating turbulence in his throat, and he was practically choking on it. He sounded like he was god damn dying! 

The boy didn’t even notice, all he could think about was seeing Levi’s fucking beautiful, perfect, angelic face again. Feeling the man’s delicate, soft, warm body under his fingertips; lifting him up into his arms and never, ever letting him go again. 

“L-L-Levi...” He managed to call out as he ran, finally approaching the pavement in front of his house and then... he stopped. 

Eren’s feet skidded against the pavement, and this time he could feel the pain. 

He gritted his teeth, wincing silently as he felt the soles of his feet graze. He could hear his rapid heartbeat throbbing in his ears as he stood there, staring across at Levi’s house. 

The lights were on in the front room, the gentle humming sound of music drifting through the tiny, open window. Levi must’ve been in that room, he was probably sat there right now, all alone. 

Eren could feel his hands reaching out in the direction of the noise, but his feet stayed firmly planted on the pavement. He wanted to move, but something inside him was holding him back, and the more that he struggled the stronger the hold became.

His breathing became more shallow, his head feeling less dizzy. 

Eren had just sped the entire way here, but now that he had reached his destination he had no idea what to do! Rational thoughts began to seep back into his brain, and all of a sudden he realised the situation that he was in. 

Levi was fucking livid with him! 

He had told Eren that he didn’t want to see him, threatened him with police if he ever came near him again, and here he was just standing outside in front of his house like a total idiot! 

When he was running all he was thinking about was taking Levi into his arms, but he couldn’t do that now! 

Levi would push him away, Levi would reject him without a doubt. 

“F-fuck,” Eren breathed quietly. 

What was he doing here right now? What exactly was he hoping to achieve? 

He didn’t have a plan, or anything close to one, and as much as it hurt he knew that if he made contact with Levi in this moment it would only make things worse. 

However, now that he was here he didn’t quite know if he could leave. 

Levi was so close to him. 

Eren could see the light in his house, hear the gentle melody of his music. He knew that only metres away his love was probably sitting there on the sofa. Eren could imagine how he would be sitting: legs curled up on the soft cushions because his feet couldn’t quite reach the floor; elbow resting on the arm, head resting on his open palm. That was how he always sat when he thought that nobody was watching, and imagining Levi looking so damn cute only made the roots in his feet tunnel further into the ground below him.

Tearing himself away from this spot right now would be about as easy as tearing off his own limb. 

So for a few minutes, Eren just stood there. 

It was cold, and windy, and Eren’s bare arms began to form tiny bumps as his skin tightened with the unforgiving temperature. The strong wind whipped his hair up so it swirled around his head, the sound of it whistling past him almost overpowering the quiet hum of Levi’s music. His feet stung like hell, and his head still ached from where he smacked it on the desk, but in this moment he felt calmer than he had for the last three days. 

Levi didn’t know it, but right now Eren was close to him. 

There may have been a wall between them but the two were listening to music together. Eren even recognised the song: I don’t want to set the world on fire, by The Ink Spots. It was beautiful, and honestly, quite fitting. 

Eren sat down on the ground, closing his eyes and letting the gentle melody drift into his ears. 

Somehow he just knew that Levi was doing the same. 

He sang along with the lyrics softly, sitting to the side a little so the wind blew his hair backwards and out of his face. 

“I don't want to set the world on fire, honey  
I love you too much  
I just want to start a great big flame down in your heart  
You see, way down inside of me, darling  
I have only one desire  
And that one desire is you  
And I know, nobody else aint gonna do.”

Eren smiled as he heard Levi’s soft, gentle voice singing along with him. It was so distant, so faint, but to Eren it was unmistakable. 

He knew Levi’s voice anywhere, it was the most wonderful sound in the world. 

Levi probably would’ve considered it strange, maybe even scary if he knew that Eren was sat on the pavement in front of his house right now. He probably would’ve freaked out, shouted, screamed if he knew, but he didn’t know. 

Right now the two were sharing a beautiful moment together, and Eren could feel that spark between them deep in his soul. Like a twin flame, the moment that the two of them were together their spark ignited once again. Eren could feel it’s warmth as he listened to Levi’s soothing voice and sang along quietly, and he wondered if maybe, just maybe, Levi could feel it too.

Eren could feel every muscle in his body unwind, the stinging on the soles of his feet became nothing but a dull ache as well. 

He felt himself grinning like a fool, and he decided that for the moment, he would stay right here with his love.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Also it's Eren's birthday today! 
> 
> Uhh.. Happy Birthday Eren... sorry I made you into an obsessive stalker who's in the middle of a mental breakdown o.o


	41. The Breakdown: Part 2 (A New Lease On Life)

How long had it been? An hour? Two? Eren wasn’t entirely sure. All he knew was that it was long enough for his body to have fully adjusted to the cold. His skin felt numb, and the tips of his fingers were glowing red. He wasn’t shivering any longer, but the soles of his feet were throbbing with pain. 

The soft melodies of Levi’s music still drifted through the air, but Levi had stopped singing along a while ago, and now Eren was becoming restless. 

Without his love’s gentle singing voice as evidence Eren didn’t even know that Levi was still in the room. He was still in the house, that was for certain, but where exactly was he? 

Was Levi still close to him? Was he awake? Was he relaxed, or was he hurting right now? 

Eren had way too many questions running through his head and they didn’t stop. Without hearing Levi’s sweet voice the beauty of the moment was over. Now Eren just felt like some weirdo sat on the ground in the cold. 

His eyes scanned the surrounding area, and as he looked he could feel the calmness seeping out if him. Without the sound of Levi’s voice to soothe him he was becoming agitated, and the reality of the situation was weighing down on him. 

Levi was angry with him, so angry that he may never speak to him again. When Eren cast his mind back to that fact he could feel his heart drop. All of a sudden he began to remember why he was here in the first place: he’d ran here in a state of complete delirium, and he had no idea what the fuck he was even doing. 

What could he do? Levi didn’t want to speak to him, he probably didn’t even want to look at him! 

“Fuck,” he hissed under his breath, lifting himself back up onto his feet. 

“Ack!” The boy winced as the gravely concrete scraped against his open wounds, but he kept his footing. 

It hurt like hell, and Eren knew that he should probably make his way back to his accommodation so he didn’t make anything even worse. 

He knew that he should... but that didn’t mean that he would. 

After all he wasn’t just in front of any old house, this was Levi’s house. 

A particularly strong gust of wind whipped past him, and suddenly Eren’s eyes were drawn to the uncut grass in Levi’s front lawn. The delicate blades danced in the wind, flapping quickly before eventually slowing to a halt. The vibrance of the green rivalled the beauty of Eren’s own irises, and Eren couldn’t help but feel that the soft grass looked incredibly inviting right now. Surely, the cushioned feeling of the lawn would feel much nicer on his feet than the hard concrete. Plus... that would be another step closer to the house... another step closer to Levi. 

Eren moved without hesitation, stepping onto the grass and sighing at the sensation of the softness under his feet. It still hurt, but he couldn’t deny that it was much nicer than the pavement. 

He let his eyes drift back to the house, specifically the window of the front room. 

The top of the window was still cracked, sombre music still drifting out into the open air. The light was on, and the longer that Eren stared at it, the closer it drew him in. He was a curious moth, drawing in closer and closer to his beautiful demise. The subtle sound of grass crumpling under Eren’s weight accompanied the soft music as he paced, one foot in front of the other, until he was close enough to press his cold hand against the window. 

Then he stopped. 

His heart was pounding, his mouth was dry, and his head felt dizzy. 

What the...? How did this happen? 

Eren snatched his hand back off the window, sucking in torrents of air through gritted teeth. 

His eyes widened, and he could feel his body begin to tremble when he realised what he was doing. It was as if his body was on autopilot when he approached the house, it seemed that he couldn’t even trust his own body any longer, and now he was close enough to the window to peer through it if he wanted to. 

Of course, he wanted to. 

But he shouldn’t. 

He told himself over and over that he SHOULDN’T, he WOULDN’T! 

Eren swore to himself that he wouldn’t look through, he would turn around and go right back to his crappy room. 

It wasn’t time yet, Levi wasn’t ready to forgive him just yet. 

Eren had the patience of a saint! He had waited for years until he was old enough to pursue Levi, he could wait a little longer, right? 

He promised himself that he wouldn’t ruin things even further... but Eren was a damn oath-breaker and he knew it. 

Slowly, cautiously, he peered in through the window. He could feel his stomach plummet to the core of the earth when he saw what was inside. 

The usually immaculate room was completely abysmal. The TV had a long, shattered crack running through the screen, and empty glass bottles were strewn across the floor carelessly. A huge pile and clothing and blankets lay piled up on Levi’s usually spotless sofa. There were plates still full of untouched food left laying there on the floor, and in the corner of the room bandages covered in what looked like dried blood were scattered. 

What the fuck was this? 

This wasn’t like Levi at all, and where the fuck was Erwin? Wasn’t that useless man supposed to be checking on Levi every single day? He was, Eren knew he was! So why was the house so messy? 

Did that mean that Levi had made such a mess in the few hours that Erwin had been gone? was he really in that much of a state? 

“S-shit...” Eren could feel vomit rising from his stomach. There were bandages in there... that meant that... Levi was hurt! 

Frantically, Eren searched the room for any sign of his love, but to no avail. 

“F-Fuck!” 

Levi was hurt, his love was hurt! 

Eren could feel all signs of rational thought leave him, and pure panic began to set in. 

It was happening again, that insatiable drive, the rush of adrenaline that caused him to run all the way here in the first place. Eren’s vision began to blur, and he was just about to make a run for the front door when he saw movement. 

The blanket pile on the sofa suddenly shifted, and a fluffy, white blanket dropped down to the floor. Eren was stunned, and he watched in complete awe as a delicate hand appeared from out of the mess, pulling more of the blankets over it. 

Was that pile of blankets actually... Levi!? 

Eren couldn’t believe it. What was Levi doing huddled up in a pile of blankets like that? 

He was surrounded by complete and utter squalor too; the Levi that Eren knew would never step foot in a room like that never mind sleep in one! 

This break-up must’ve hit Levi harder than Eren thought, and suddenly the weight of Eren’s immense guilt dragged him down to his knees. 

Levi was alone, broken and injured, and it was all Eren’s fault. 

In that moment, the boy could’ve simply stopped existing. 

He would’ve deserved it, he deserved worse. 

He’d taken the most beautiful being in the universe and reduced him down to... to this! 

Seeing Levi like that was just too much to bear, and Eren used the adrenaline coursing through his veins to wrap his arms around himself tightly, digging his fingernails into the skin on his arms enough to pierce it. 

The pain was nothing to him, nothing at all compared to the pain of knowing that Levi was hurting. 

Seeing Levi sleeping like that reassured Eren that he was at least... alive. He wasn’t badly injured, he was still ok in the most basic sense. However, Eren couldn’t stop thinking about those bandages. Why did he need them? What exactly was his injury? 

Eren swallowed a nagging lump in his throat. If Levi’s injuries were self inflicted, would Eren ever be able to forgive himself? He knew that he wouldn’t, and if Levi was so broken that he never wanted Eren back then he would rather just be dead. 

Dead and out of the picture. 

Dead and out of Levi’s way. 

All that he wanted was to go inside and wrap himself up in those old blankets with his love and hold him until the end of time, but he just couldn’t bring himself to do it. 

If he saw one more expression of fear or sadness or despair on Levi’s face then he would’ve simply collapsed. As much as his body urged him on, his brain kept him fixed in place because the thought of upsetting Levi any more made his soul crumble into ash. 

He really was at a crossroads, and each path lead to certain doom. 

There was nothing left for him now, no happiness left in this world. Without Levi all colours faded to grey. All music turned to dull static. All laughter silenced, and light became darkness. 

There was nothing left. Levi was Eren’s entire life, and without him...

 

Eren raised his head as the gentle hum of an electric car appeared, and grew louder. His breath hitched in his throat as the vehicle came into vision; sleek and white with a custom number-plate that read 5M1TH 765. 

Shit. Fuck, fuck, fuck! 

That was...

From through the car window blue eyes met green, and the car screeched to a halt. Eren felt his chest heave. He was caught. 

As if it was clockwork, his mind began to generate excuse after excuse, lie after lie to try and explain the reason why he was on his knees outside Levi’s front window. Erwin was supportive of Eren at the beginning, but now Levi had probably told him everything, and Eren wouldn’t have blamed the man if he beat the shit out of him right there and then. 

Eren wasn’t entirely against the idea. Maybe Erwin could knock some damn sense into him, maybe he could just fucking kill him and end his torture. It would be better for Levi in the long-run anyway. 

Eren watched the car, waiting for Erwin to step out and give him hell, but that didn’t happen. 

Instead, the window slowly rolled down, and the man shot a finger up to his lips. His eyes were more intense than Eren had seen them before, and just when he thought that he couldn’t be any more shocked the man beckoned him over, keeping his hushing finger firmly on his lips. 

Eren was a little perplexed. This was not the reaction that he expected from Levi’s best friend. Why didn’t the man look angry? And why did he want Eren to get in his damn car? 

Eren wasn’t sure, but he was curious. 

 

 

It still hurt to walk, but Eren made his way to the car and closed the passenger door softly behind him as he took his seat. It took him all of his courage to finally look up at Erwin’s face, and when he did he wished that he hadn’t. The man’s brow was furrowed, and the stern expression that Eren had expected wasn’t there. Instead he wore sadness. 

His blue eyes glistened, his lips were curved downwards as if for show, but the pained expression on his face was all too real. 

Suddenly Eren felt the weight of his guilt increase, as if someone had added another heavy layer onto what he already thought would crush him. 

“Eren,” Erwin spoke, his voice deep and forlorn. “What are you doing here?” 

“I don’t...” That was a difficult question. “... know.” 

That statement hung in the air for a few seconds, and Erwin looked a little taken aback before he composed himself again. 

“I see.” 

Erwin looked down to his knees, and Eren decided that he at least owed the man an explanation. 

“I was just... I just...” Eren began, trying to formulate an explanation that made an iota of sense. “I miss him so much professor,” Eren could feel tears stinging his eyes, and it shocked him because he didn’t realise they were coming. “He’s the best thing in my life and I just can’t live without him, I-I love him. I just w-want things to go back to the way they were! I know I don’t deserve his forgiveness, b-but... I’ll do anything, I’ll do anything! If he can just...” 

“Eren stop.” 

Erwin interrupted the boy’s pathetic rambling, and Eren muffled his sobs and stopped talking. 

“You have to go home Eren, this is all too much for him right now.” 

“B-but I... I know I shouldn’t have done it but I looked through the window and I saw bandages! Is he hurt? Is Levi hurt, Erwin? You have to tell me!” 

“What, no, no he’s fine. He just cut his feet on some broken glass that’s all. Nothing serious I promise, so there’s no need to worry.” Erwin saw the look of panic in Eren’s eyes, and he couldn’t help but feel pity for him. He obviously cared about Levi. “Look, I don’t know what’s happened between the two of you, but whatever you did it hurt him real bad. I’ve never seen him like this before.” 

“Y-You...” Eren stammered, raising a brow in surprise. “He hasn’t told you what happened between us?” 

Erwin sighed, stroking a large hand through his blonde hair. “No, he hasn’t. And I’d appreciate it if you didn’t tell me either. He clearly doesn’t want me to know yet and I wanna respect that.” 

Eren gulped, his expression softening a little. “Of course. I won’t say anything if he doesn’t want me to.” 

A stray tear rolled down Eren’s cheek, and Erwin noticed. The man reached down into the glove compartment of his car and pulled out a packet of tissues, offering them to Eren in a gesture of kindness. Eren sniffed, accepting the packet and dabbing his eyes with a soft, white sheet. 

“Look Eren,” Erwin began, the tone of his voice a little lighter than before. “If you want any chance of getting Levi back then you’ve gotta give the guy some space. You can’t be snooping around his house like this, you’re just gonna freak him out.” 

Eren felt his heart jolt, and suddenly his interest was piqued. “You really think I can get him back?” 

“Ugh,” the man sighed, grasping the bridge of his nose between his thumb and forefinger and closing his eyes as if he was deep in thought. “I don’t really know, but I know that if there’s any chance at all you need to give him some space.” He opened his eyes again, and this time he was looking directly at Eren. 

“Plus, I’ll be completely honest. If there’s a chance of the two of you getting back together then... I want it to happen.” 

He mumbled the last part, as if he was ashamed to admit it, but Eren didn’t care. 

Hearing those words made Eren’s heart soar. After all of this mess, Levi’s best friend still supported him, and that meant a damn lot. Sure he didn’t know the whole story, but with Erwin on his side then maybe Eren really did have a chance of winning back Levi’s love. 

Maybe it wasn’t such an unachievable goal. Maybe he could make Levi smile again.

No, he was the only one who could. 

They were meant to be together after all.

“But professor...” Eren mused, suddenly beaming at the man as if he was a god. “Why do you want that?” 

A subtle smile tugged at the corner of the mans lips, and it seemed that it was contagious. 

“Well...” Erwin was a little apprehensive about letting Eren in on so much information, but somehow it just felt right to him, and he spoke without a filter. “It’s just because, I’ve never seen him as happy as he is when he’s with you. He laughs more, he seems more carefree, the grumpy bastard is even nicer to people!” 

Eren couldn’t help but let a little giggle escape him when Erwin said that. 

“I just want him to be happy, and you seem to be uhh... pretty good at making him happy. Y’know, until recently...” 

Eren’s grin faded, but his guilt had left him. It was as if Erwin was blowing on the embers of his extinguished determination, and re-igniting the fire that drove him to come here in the first place. 

“He still loves you, Eren. I can hear him calling out your name in his sleep sometimes. It’s painful to see him like this and I kind of hate you a little bit for making him this way, but whatever you did... it hasn’t made him stop loving you.” 

Eren’s heart swelled, and he cried out a little louder than he had intended: “I love him too! Always!” 

The professor recoiled a little, and suddenly he looked worried. He was still smiling, but when he looked across at Eren, something in him seemed to click.

“R-right,” he said, putting his hands up for a second as if to shield himself from Eren’s intensity. “I mean, I could be being completely naive because I have no idea what you did to upset him like this. All I ask is that you please give him some space before you try and sort things out with him. All I care about right now is his happiness and I can’t have you making things any worse. He’s on the edge as it is!” 

“I understand Erwin,” Eren said, flashing his ex-professor as dazzling smile. 

Erwin noticed the tone change, and all of a sudden he began to feel uneasy. 

This reaction was strange by anyone’s standards, and the man began to question whether he had just made a terrible mistake by urging Eren to try and win Levi back. All he wanted was for Levi to recover and live a happy life, but Eren had gone from crying to smiling manically in a matter of moments and something about that just didn’t sit right with him. 

“P-Please understand what I’m trying to say,” Erwin blurted, “I don’t know if he’ll take you back at all. I just want him to be happy!” 

“Don’t worry Erwin,” Eren beamed back at him. “I’ve got it! Don’t worry, I’ll think of a great plan for sure. I’ll make sure I have Levi smiling again if it’s the last thing I do!” 

“W-Wait, Eren...” 

Erwin felt as if his heart had stopped when Eren suddenly bolted from the car, running down the road and off into the distance as if he had a whole new lease on life. 

That was when Erwin noticed that he wasn’t wearing any shoes. 

“What the...?” 

This was strange, a little too strange for comfort. 

Eren had always seemed so composed, so well adjusted, so... normal. 

There was something about the look in his eyes though today that put Erwin on edge.

The moment that he had shown his support and suggested that there was a chance of ErenxLevi becoming reality again the guy’s tone completely changed. It wasn’t just excitement, it was something more than that. 

He couldn’t possibly tell Levi, not now. 

He needed the man to recover, and him knowing that Eren was spoken with Erwin, knowing the way that Eren acted, would only make things worse. 

Erwin sighed deeply, lowering his head down to rest on his steering wheel and cursing at himself. He couldn’t tell Levi about what had just happened. He would just keep a closer eye on his friend from now on. 

If all went well then Eren would be sensible. He would take his time, and wait until Levi was ready to talk to him of his own accord. For some reason though, Erwin got the feeling that wasn’t going to happen.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> By the way I'm on my easter break, and I'm planning to have this fic finished by the end of it. So expect to see the ending within the next month, I hope you all like it <3 
> 
> (There are plenty of chapters left though, I'll just need to update frequently.)


	42. The Key to Open Eren's Mind

“Eren.” 

Heavy breathing, unchaste panting, a sudden gasp through slick lips.

“Eren.” 

Strong hands find their way up slender thighs, contaminated hands, corrupting hands.

“Eren.” 

The movement of his hot tongue can seduce in more ways than one, but there’s no shame in that.

“Eren.” 

Only pleasure, overpowering the venom in his fingertips like a coating that shields his skin.

“E-Eren please...I...”

The satisfaction overwhelms him, accompanied by an equal balance of torment.

“I d-don’t think I can hold on any longer...”

All things in perfect contrast, as the burn of the stretch is to the brilliance of the climax. 

“I- I need you.”

Synchronised, it’s as if the two must co-exist. You won’t feel the agony of the burn without first experiencing the warmth of the flame.

“I want you.” 

But when two bodies unite as one, surely the friction is worth the soreness. For without the stinging of the skin, you wouldn’t know that you’d been touched at all.

“I love you.”

Forehead to forehead, chest to chest. Unrelenting, boundless, indestructible, forever. 

“Eren.”

 

 

The familiar noise of Levi’s alarm rung through the room, startling him awake. The man groaned as he shifted in the darkness. 

He didn’t want a fucking alarm.

He hated his fucking alarm. 

All it was good for was waking him up to another day of monotonous hell. Erwin however had insisted upon it, because apparently Levi had to keep some form of schedule in his life so he didn’t go crazy. Even if that schedule was simply making sure that he woke up and went back to sleep at a reasonable time.

If it wasn’t for Erwin skulking around his damn house and refusing to leave for anything but work, then Levi would probably just stay lying on his sofa forever. It wasn’t like he had anything to get up for now anyway. No hobbies, no job... no boyfriend. 

“Ugh.” 

Levi huffed as he tried to rid the intrusive thoughts from his head. 

The thoughts about... no, Levi couldn’t even think his name out loud in his head right now. It already haunted his dreams so persistently. The kid was like a damn disease that had poisoned his mind, and the poison had run so deeply that Levi saw the boy’s face every time he closed his eyes. 

As he turned over onto he side he could feel the sticky warmth seep from his pants onto his thigh and he cursed under his breath. 

Great, just fucking great. Having ‘those’ kind of dreams about Eren really wasn’t what he needed right now. It was bloody hard to forget about someone when they fucked him raw in his dreams every single night. It wasn’t just that though, sure the dreams were sexual, but they were loving and passionate too. It meant that every time Levi woke up he felt a little more confused, a little more broken, a little more defeated. 

It wasn’t a surprise though, his body always betrayed him like this when it came to Eren, he supposed he was used to it. From the moment that Eren stepped into his university classroom he had been the subject of Levi’s sexual desire, and over time he had fallen for him harder than he thought was possible. 

The kid was going to be fucking difficult to forget, but Levi had to try.

“Levi,” Erwin’s voice called softly through the door, and his fist rapped against the wood gently. “Are you awake?” 

Levi groaned loudly and Erwin could hear it, taking it as an answer to his question and opening the door. His head peered round, and he couldn’t help but frown when he saw Levi still wrapped up in his blanket fort. It had been at least twenty-four hours that Levi had been on that same sofa now, apart from occasional bathroom breaks he had stayed there for an entire day. Erwin couldn’t help but feel like he needed to do something more for him, or at least get him out of those damn blankets today.

“Mph,” Levi groaned, sticking his head out of the darkness to see his friend coming toward him. “Why are you still here? Don’t you have work or something?” 

“Not today,” Erwin told him, taking a seat on the armchair next to the sofa. He leant back into it, relaxing his body muscle by muscle. It looked like he had been holding a lot of tension. “You’ve been cooped up in this house for so long that you haven’t even realised that it’s the weekend have you?” 

“Ahh, right.” Levi sighed, dragging himself up until he was seated. 

Had it really been that long? He knew that he hadn’t really moved much for quite a while, but he wasn’t expecting it to be the weekend already. Erwin had been checking up on him for days, but he hadn’t realised just how long it had really been. All of a sudden a wave of guilt washed over him. 

Surely Erwin had better things to be doing with his time, Levi must’ve been such a burden to him. A guy like Erwin usually had dates on the weekend, sometimes sports games. He would visit his parents, or go to bars, or meet his other friends. He must’ve been so sick of Levi’s company now, and that fact made Levi feel like a total waste of space.

“It’s ok,” Erwin told him, flicking through some envelopes in his hands and studying the front of each one carefully. His eyes were gleaming in the sunlight that filtered through the front window, and he had an intense look on his face. “These things happen sometimes, just make sure that you actually get up and do something productive today. Laying there all day can’t be good for you.” 

“R-Right,” Levi stuttered. His eyes were drawn to the envelopes that Erwin was shuffling in his hands. The gentle drifting of paper rubbing up against more paper created a calming white noise, and Levi found himself zoning out as he watched. Erwin’s hands were so big, they reminded him of Eren’s hands. Of course, Eren’s hands were much prettier, kind of feminine even though they were so huge. It took him a moment to realise that he was staring, and even longer to realise that he was just thinking about Eren, again. He cursed himself silently when snapped back into reality, and he desperately tried to occupy his mind with something else. 

“What are you doing?” He asked, looking up at Erwin’s face instead.

Erwin’s eyes shot up to meet his own, and the movement of his hands stopped. 

“I...I wasn’t being nosey I swear!” His tone was sharp and defensive, but overall apologetic. “It’s not like I was going to read any of them, but I saw the post at your front door and I just wanted to make sure there was nothing here that would bring your mood down any lower.” 

“Tch,” Levi huffed, holding his hand out expectantly. “Why would my own mail upset me? Hand it over, moron.” 

Erwin handed them over, and Levi cringed at the harshness of his own tone, knowing that he was taking out his frustrations about Eren on Erwin. It was wrong, and the man didn’t deserve it, but Levi was feeling much too agitated to apologise. Instead he made a mental note to remind himself to be kinder to Erwin from now on.

“Sorry,” Erwin grinned at Levi’s offensive tone. He was starting to sound a little more like himself again, and even though he knew recovery would be a much longer process, at least this was something. “I just didn’t want you to see some stupid letter from Sakura or something. They’ll probably have to send you something about your resignation at some point, I just didn’t want it to make you feel...”

“Yeah, yeah.” Levi grumbled, pulling the blankets round him a little tighter as he flicked through the unopened letters himself. “I’ll have to see it sometime anyway, so don’t try and hide it from me, ok?” 

Erwin nodded solemnly. 

“But, thanks. I appreciate that you’re putting all this effort in for me, you know you don’t have to spend your entire weekend here though. Don’t you have any dates to go on or something? A guy like you shouldn’t spend his free time wallowing my in depression den.” 

Erwin smiled sweetly, but Levi could see that his feigned expression was masking something deeper. He looked worried, Levi could see it in his eyes. “Don’t be like that. I want to be here for you, that’s what friends are for right?” 

Levi eyed him suspiciously, but decided not to push the matter any further. It was strange that his friend was spending more and more time here, but he did enjoy the company. “Right.” 

“Anyway,” Erwin stretched his arms into the air, straightening his back and sighing loudly. “I’m gonna go to the market, what do you want for dinner tonight?” 

“Ugh,” Levi rolled his eyes. “Really, you don’t need to cook for me as well. You’re already doing enough as it is.” 

“I insist!” 

“Well then... I don’t care. Surprise me.” 

It was nice having Erwin around, it truly was. However there was something about the way that he was acting that made Levi think there was something more to his behaviour than just being a good friend. 

Erwin was cooking his meals, cleaning his house, doing anything that he could to be around him. It seemed like he was just trying to be helpful, but Levi had also noticed the man peering through his curtains, checking the locks on the doors, listening to Levi’s answer phone messages and checking his post. 

It was as if he was looking for something, as if he was waiting for something to happen. 

Maybe he was just paranoid about Eren coming over and starting some drama, but Erwin didn’t know what Eren was really like at all. 

Levi knew that it was strange that he hadn’t heard from Eren for all this time, hadn’t received an unwelcome visit, but Erwin didn’t know that was strange. As far as he knew, Eren was just a normal guy that had pissed off his boyfriend. No reason for suspicion or alarm. 

But why then? Why was Erwin acting so shifty? What was he hiding? 

“Right,” Erwin smiled as he lifted himself to his feet, straightening out his t-shirt and combing a hand through his thick, blonde hair. “I’ll go to the market now. I won’t be long, I promise.”

Levi snorted at the last part, “I’m sure I’ll survive without you for half an hour or so.” 

“Just remember, I’ll have my phone in my hand so if you need anything, or anything happens, just call me.” 

“Jeez,” Levi raised an eyebrow, shooting the man a disapproving look. “You don’t need to baby me like this. I’m not a kid.” 

He almost choked on those last words. Over the past few months they’d become somewhat of a catchphrase for Eren, and to taste those swords on his own lips was bittersweet.

“Ok, Ok,” Erwin chuckled, making his way out into the hallway. “I’m just letting you know is all. I want you to be... safe.” 

 

 

Levi felt himself sigh with relief when he heard the man’s car finally drive away. He was alone now, and that meant that he could finally clean up the mess that he’d made this morning. 

“Tch,” Stupid kid. 

Why did Eren’s dumb, perfect body have to invade his headspace whilst he slept? It was probably his own fault since he hadn’t jacked off in days, but having a wet dream? Really? Levi felt like he was fourteen again.

He procrastinated from cleaning cum off his own thigh by flicking through the letters in his hands, tossing each one to his side when he’d looked at it. 

The letters were all pretty much the same type of crap: Bills, bills, some shit from the council, more bills, a coupon booklet... then, hang on what was this? 

Right at the bottom of the pile was a blank envelope. 

It was smaller than the others, and it looked much less professional. The corners were folded, the paper creased as if someone had been holding onto it tightly. For some reason just looking at it made Levi’s heart race, and his interest was piqued. 

Slowly, his fingernail slid underneath the opening, tearing the glue that bound the envelope shut. Once he’d opened it, he peered inside, and noticed that it contained a folded piece of lined paper.

Curious, Levi pulled the paper out of the envelope, unfolding it and holding it up to his face. He had to squint his eyes to read it properly. The writing on the page was in red ink, which made it harder to see. Levi thought that was strange. This clearly wasn’t a letter written to discuss professional matters, so what was it? 

His eyes scanned the handwriting, and all of a sudden, his heart jumped in his chest. Levi knew this handwriting, he’d graded numerous essays, marked multiple tests, all with this handwriting. 

This was... shit. 

He wasn’t sure if he was ready to read what was on the paper, but he couldn’t stop himself. He took a deep breath before he allowed himself to process the word in front of him.

 

‘Levi.  
I know there’s nothing I can do to take back what I’ve already done, and for that I’m so, so sorry. I’ve hurt you and I hate myself for it. I hate everything about myself, I’m an idiot, a failure. All I wanted was to make you happy and instead I hurt you.   
You need space now and I understand that, so even though it’ll be agonising to be apart from you I’m going to give you that space.   
I don’t expect you to forgive me but I’m begging you to consider it. I can’t live without you and I really mean that, more than you could ever know.  
Even if you don't want me any more I’m still going to fix this. I’m going to fix it so everything is ok for you, and you won’t have to hurt any more.   
Please wait for me for one month.   
Then in exactly one month from today, answer your house phone at exactly nine AM. That’s the 12th of next month, ok?   
Please do that for me, even if it’s the last thing you do for me. I don’t care what happens to me anymore, I just want to make things right for you.  
I promise I will fix this.   
I have a plan, and I'm going to give you everything you deserve.   
No matter what happens just know that I love you with all of my heart, and I will love you until the day I die.   
I’m sorry.  
I’m sorry I’m sorry I’m sorry I’m sorry I’m sorry I’m sorry I’m sorry I’m sorry I’m sorry I’m sorry I’m sorry I’m sorry I’m sorry I’m sorry I’m sorry I’m sorry I’m sorry I’m sorry I’m sorry I’m sorry I’m sorry I’m sorry I’m sorry I’m sorry I’m sorry I’m sorry I’m sorry I’m sorry I’m sorry I’m sorry I’m sorry I’m sorry I’m sorry I’m sorry I’m sorry I’m sorry I’m sorry I’m sorry I’m sorry I’m sorry I’m sorry I’m sorry I’m sorry I’m sorry I’m sorry I’m sorry I’m sorry I’m sorry I’m sorry I’m sorry I’m sorry I’m sorry I’m sorry I’m sorry I’m sorry I’m sorry I’m sorry I’m sorry I’m sorry I’m sorry I’m sorry I’m sorry I’m sorry I’m sorry I’m sorry I’m sorry I’m sorry I’m sorry I’m sorry I’m sorry I’m sorry I’m sorry I’m sorry I’m sorry I’m sorry I’m sorry I’m sorry I’m sorry I’m sorry I’m sorry I’m sorry I’m sorry I’m sorry I’m sorry I’m sorry I’m sorry I’m sorry I’m sorry I’m sorry I’m sorry I’m sorry I’m sorry I’m sorry I’m sorry I’m sorry I’m sorry ...’

 

The apologies continued to the end of the page, gradually becoming messier and messier until there was no space left to continue.

Levi simply stared at the letter in disbelief. 

What the fuck was this? 

It was so vague, and Levi had no idea what the boy was even trying to tell him. It sounded like a list of instructions, and that immediately got Levi’s back up. How dare he order Levi around like that! After all that he'd done! What the fuck did Eren think he was playing at? 

Levi held the letter against his chest, crumpling it up in his hand. His head was spinning, and his breathing had become rapid and uneven. 

One month? What was going to happen in one month? Why did he need to answer his phone at exactly nine in the morning? What the FUCK was this ‘plan’ that Eren had? 

Levi could feel his anxiety building, and he tried with all of his might to control his breathing and fight off the rising feeling of dread. His face was heating up, his body beginning to shake.

This didn’t make sense, this didn’t make sense at all! 

How did Eren think that he could possibly fix things after what Levi had found out? 

How could Levi ever look him in the eyes and trust him again? 

The man could feel the burn of fresh tears stinging his eyes, and he unconsciously began to curl his body up into a tight ball. 

This was the worst! 

How could Eren do something like this? Just outright tell him that he had to wait for him for a month! What a fucking joke! Like he ever wanted to see that deranged kid ever again! 

Levi let out a pained sob, knowing in his heart that the things he told himself weren’t entirely true. 

Of course, he felt utterly betrayed by Eren, but knowing that he couldn’t see him for another month cast a black shadow over his heart. 

The thought of not seeing his dazzling smile or feeling the warmth of his arms around him only made him cry harder, and that made him feel even worse. 

This was NOT how he was supposed to be feeling. He should hate Eren, he should never want to see his stupid face again! Why was he always like this? Why did Eren have such a hold over him?

“FUCK!” Levi screamed, tossing the screwed up envelope across the room. It fell down more quickly than it should have, resting by the side of the armchair, and as it hit the ground Levi heard a metallic clink.

What the? What was that? 

He leant over, toppling off the sofa and onto his hands and knees. He wasn’t willing to halt the progress of the healing of his cuts by walking on his feet right now, and Erwin wasn’t around so he didn’t feel too ridiculous crawling over to the crumpled envelope like a fucking infant. 

He grasped the envelope in his hand, straightening out the paper between his fingers as he raised himself up onto his knees. 

As his fingers drifted across the surface, he suddenly felt a hard lump inside. Slim, curious fingers delved inside and produced a cold, metal object. 

A key.

Levi studied it between his fingers, running the tips against the jagged metal at the end. It was small, ridiculously small, as if it was a novelty key or some sort. This crappy little thing certainly couldn’t open a door, unless it was a door for some kind of Smurf of an elf. 

What the hell was this thing? And why did Eren want him to have it? 

Levi was genuinely perplexed, and for a moment he simply knelt there on the floor, staring at the key like he was trying to solve a Rubicks cube. 

A key... Eren had given him that ridiculous, vague, nonsensical letter and a key. Was he playing some kind of sick game? Was he just trying to hurt Levi even further by driving him crazy? What reason could he possibly have for...

Then all of a sudden it dawned on him. 

A tiny key, for a tiny lock. 

The diary...


	43. The Diary

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Yes, I may have updated twice in one day.  
> I also may have stayed up until like 4am writing this chapter because y'know... sleeping is hard sometimes.  
> That is just me idk :') When I've got the urge to write I've just gotta go for it :) Sometimes I wish I was a structured writer who wrote chapters ahead and went back over them to make sure they're ok, but nope I just slam them out in a writing-fuelled daze then YEET them onto Ao3 :')

Levi knew exactly where the diary was, Erwin had tidied it away whilst he was cleaning his house. When the man had asked where to put it Levi just kind of stammered and said “anywhere, I don’t care!” Of course, he did care. However he didn’t want to let Erwin in on the importance of that particular little book just yet. 

Levi shuffled into the kitchen on his hands and knees, the humiliation of it weighing down on him even though there was nobody else there to see him. He was pretty sure that he’d noticed Erwin packing it away into the drawer where he kept all of his spare things. 

Eren had quite colourfully referred to it as the ‘fuck it drawer,’ because whenever anything in the house didn’t have a place, maybe a hair tie or an old takeaway menu, he would just say ‘fuck it’ and throw it into that drawer. Levi actually quite enjoyed the silly little name, but now he was thinking about happy times with Eren again and he swore at himself under his breath. 

He slowly approached the drawer, pulling up a chair for him to climb onto so he could reach. His knees hurt a little on the hard wood and Levi reminded himself to pick up some extra cushions when he was ready to go out again, but for now he was ok. He could reach the drawer. 

His fingers were trembling slightly as he pulled it open, and he focused on his breathing in an attempt to try and calm himself down. The drawer scraped against it’s hinges as it slid open, and there was the diary. It was plonked right in the middle, plain as day. Levi had expected to have to do a little digging to find it, but it was as if it was screaming out to him. It felt like the diary had been holding in Eren’s secrets for way too long and now it wanted nothing more than to blurt them out with no filter! 

Levi made his way back to the sofa, book in one hand, key in the other. 

He immersed himself back into the cozy warmth of the blankets, and it felt like a loose hug. The feeling was mildly comforting, but it definitely wasn’t enough to calm his racing heart. 

What was in this stupid book? And why did Eren want him to see it? 

For a moment Levi considered throwing the dumb key into the bin and ignoring whatever was inside the diary just to spite Eren, but deep down he knew that he could never really do that. He was much, much too curious. 

Trembling fingers slid the key into the key-hole, and the metal slotted in perfectly. 

Levi drew in a deep, shaky breath. He took a few moments to mentally prepare himself. The contents of this book had the potential to throw him deeper down into the pit of despair he was in, and although he really wasn’t making any effort at all to climb back out, he definitely didn’t want to be cast any further down! 

Was it really such a good idea to read this diary? Was it really worth the risk?

Levi considered his options for a moment, but as much as he wanted to think rationally, all he could picture was that stupid letter. Eren had apologised excessively, said that he was going to fix things, to make it so Levi wouldn’t hurt any more. He may have been a crazy bastard, but for some reason, deep down Levi just knew that he didn’t have bad intentions. He may have been completely unstable, but somehow Levi still trusted him to know what he was doing. 

He always had known. No matter how fucked up things had gotten in the past, Eren had always found a way to fix them. 

“Tch,” Levi hissed at the thought of Eren trying to weasel his way back into his life again. Fat chance of that happening! He could forget it. This relationship was way past the point of saving, but Levi at least trusted that whatever was in this book must’ve been important. Eren wouldn’t hurt him more for no good reason, that just wasn’t like him. 

Levi turned the key, clicked open the lock, and flung the book open. 

 

 

Levi began to read, and the further down the first page he got, the further his heart sank. 

This diary must’ve been old as hell! It was definitely an article from Eren’s childhood. His handwriting was a lot scruffier back then, and from the way he was writing Levi wouldn’t have even recognised that it was Eren. 

The Eren that Levi knew was eccentric, bright and endearing; but this Eren was so gloomy. It was as if he had lost all hope. All he talked about was lost he was, how much he wished he could just fade out of existence and die. Levi could feel his bottom lip wavering, and he had to suck up his emotions and stay strong. 

Was childhood Eren really so miserable? Levi had no idea. 

Levi read a few pages, his faith in himself growing weaker with each passing word. Levi had been so wrapped up in Eren and his body and his intelligence that he hadn’t even bothered to ask him about his childhood. As he continued through the pages there was mention of Eren being in foster homes, quite a few of them. Levi wondered why exactly, were his parents abusive? Were they drug addicts? Did they ever regain custody of him? 

A few pages later and Levi learned the horrible truth. Eren had written about all three of his family member’s deaths in disturbing detail, and Levi had to put the book down and compose himself for a brief moment before reading again. He could feel his heart punching at his ribcage, his fingertips went ice cold, and tears began to well in his eyes. 

How the fuck did he not know about any of this? 

Eren may have done some messed up things to him, but Levi still claimed to love Eren. After all of their time together, how had Levi never found out about any of this before? It was utterly heartbreaking, and for a while Levi felt like he was going to be sick. 

His stomach churned, but he kept reading. 

Eren had written entries about how hard he had it at school. The teachers hated him because he acted out, nobody helped him deal with his grief at all. Some of his foster parents even beat him, blaming it on the fact that he was badly behaved. It was strange to hear Eren say that about himself. The Eren from Levi’s past was always polite, hard-working, sweet. Levi could’ve sworn that whoever wrote this diary was a different person completely.

It was Eren though, and It was a vicious cycle for that poor child. He would act out, and the adults in his life would simply treat him worse for it. Why weren’t they more understanding? Were they all fucking dense? Levi swore that if he could dive into the pages of this book he would beat the living crap out of all of them! 

This kid deserved better than the hand he was dealt. 

It was almost like a fucked up novel. Everything was going to horribly, but Levi couldn’t look away. Each page made him sadder and more irritated and yet he just couldn’t stop. He NEEDED to know what was going to happen next. He felt so much sympathy for the child in this story that his entire body ached, and he had to keep reminding himself that the boy in this book wasn’t some fictional character, it was Eren. 

All of a sudden, Levi turned the page and saw something that he didn’t expect. 

The next entry was written in much neater handwriting, as if Eren had taken time and care to write this entry. It was written in red ink, and tiny love hearts were drawn around the outside of the writing, creating an aesthetically pleasing border. Of course, it was still scruffy, but that was to be expected from a boy in his early teens. 

Levi felt some of his anguish lift as he began to read the entry: 

‘Christingle services are dumb, but today wasn't that bad.  
We’ve got this new teacher, he’s super tiny, but he’s really cool too.  
That bitch Nanaba wouldn’t re-light my candle when it went out, but this new guy flicked out his lighter all cool and did it for me.  
Dunno what it is about him, but I like him. I think he’s different from the rest.  
Maybe I won’t give this one such a hard time, I might actually do my work for him, who knows.  
He’s got real pretty eyes too and Armin if your reading this, stealing my diary again, no that is not gay! He’s just really cool you’ll see in class tomorrow.’

Levi actually let out a lighthearted chuckle through his tears. This entry was about him. 

He actually remembered that day, it was his first day working at that school, and he was nervous as hell. He remembered walking into that weird religious service with the candle-lit oranges and sitting down next to some kid. He didn’t know anybody yet, and his anxiety was beginning to flare up right from the get-go! He was trying to breathe rhythmically, trying to keep himself calm so he didn’t make a fool out of himself on his first day, but it was difficult. 

He remembered the kid sneezing on his orange like a moron, and he remembered flicking out his own lighter and re-lighting the candle for him. It was weird because for the rest of the service that kid stared at him intently. At first it made Levi feel uncomfortable, but after a while it seemed to serve as a distraction from his anxiety, and then he couldn’t focus on anything else but that damn kid. 

He noticed how big his eyes were in his peripheral vision, and how green they were too. They were strangely mesmerising, and Levi actually found himself thinking that this kid was very cute. He didn’t normally think that children were cute in the slightest, just annoying, so it was a new experience for him entirely, and from that day onwards he took quite a liking to little Eren. 

At first he liked the kid because he found his personality strangely endearing. He would always act so happy and carefree, constantly smiling at Levi with dazzling teeth. When the other kids would try to talk over Levi in class, Eren would always stay quiet and listen, and when Levi started grading his essays he found that the kid had talent too. 

It wasn’t a big deal or anything, but Levi always favoured Eren over everyone else in class. He was just good kid, and he never understood why the other teachers would bitch and moan about his behaviour. 

He never would’ve guessed that he had such a tragic past, but as Levi read on the tone of the diary completely changed. 

Each new entry became increasingly focused on Levi. He would write about how nice Levi was to him, about how much he praised him over anyone else. He would write about how hard he had worked in his english assignments, knowing that it would make his teacher happy. 

All of the darkness and despair had been sucked right out of the book and replaced by happiness and sunshine. The entries were much more frequent now, and it seemed that he had completely stopped caring about whether his friend was reading his diary or not. He was no longer trying to convince ‘Armin’ that he ‘wasn’t gay’, in fact it was quite the opposite. The entries became romantic pretty quickly, and Eren’s language changed dramatically. 

Mr.Ackerman was no longer ‘cool’ he was ‘perfect.’ His eye’s weren’t ‘pretty’ they were ‘the most beautiful thing he’d ever seen.’ Slowly, the use of language and the eccentric tone began to come to the forefront, and the Eren in the diary sounded much more like the Eren that Levi knew and loved. 

Levi had no idea just how deeply he had affected Eren’s life. It was crazy, but at the same time a lot of things began to slot into place. 

He couldn’t stop reading, he was going to finish if it took him all day.

 

 

It felt as if Levi had been reading for hours by the time he’d finally finished. He’d had to kick Erwin out of the front room so he could finish reading without interruption, and he was glad that he did.

He had tears streaming down his face, so many that he was surprised that his body had any damn water left inside it. Somehow it did though, because the tears just kept on coming, thick and fast like a rainstorm. 

Levi had no idea that Eren had such a tragic past. He was blissfully ignorant to all of his struggles, and he’d treat the boy as if he was just a normal person. 

After reading this, Levi began to add meaning to some of Eren’s past behaviours, and somehow they all began to make a little more sense. Of course they were still wrong, still unforgivable, but Levi finally got it now. 

Eren’s entire family had died, and he’d been thrown into foster care and forgotten by the system. That poor kid, he deserved better than that! There wasn’t even any mention of any therapy or medication to treat the boy’s trauma! Had Eren really had to deal with that level of pain and mental anguish without therapy? No wonder he behaved so strangely sometimes! 

Levi let the image of a young Eren flash into his mind, alone and scared and hurting. All of a sudden he found himself sobbing loudly, tears stinging his bloodshot eyes even further. 

Levi couldn’t believe that he had gotten so close to Eren without knowing about any of this, and he felt like a total fool. 

Of course Eren had latched onto him, Levi had shown him kindness in a time when nobody else did. Sure he had a few friends back then, but Levi was the only stable figure of authority that Eren had. It all made sense now, the reason why Eren was so attached to him. The reason why the infatuation had spanned over all of these years. 

Eren needed that connection, and he’d found it in his teacher Mr.Ackerman. 

Levi had always treat Eren more nicely than the other kids, he’d always shown him favouritism. If only he’d have known just how deeply those actions would make Eren feel. Would he have acted differently? Or would knowing that fact have just made him favour the boy even more? 

Levi had no idea how to feel. All of these facts were tangled up in his brain and he couldn’t quite process them yet. 

Eren didn’t need punishment, he needed help. 

He needed somebody to understand him, somebody to be patient with him and be kind to him. Somebody to love him unconditionally, and to steer him onto the right path. Levi felt like such a fool, of course Eren wasn’t a terrible person, he was just hurting. 

“I’m sorry Eren,” he sobbed quietly into one of his blankets, dabbing his eyes with the soft cotton. 

Levi knew that because of Eren’s infatuation with him it wouldn’t be healthy for him to be the one to help Eren, but who else did the boy have? He’d sacrificed everything and everyone to come to Sakura, just so he could feel loved and secure. Surely Levi had to help him, who else would help him? But, could it really work after all that they’d been through? 

Could Levi help Eren as a friend, when he was so deeply in love with him? Maybe Eren’s ‘love’ for Levi was just a delusional infatuation, but Levi’s love for Eren was all too real. Even if Levi completely forgave Eren in time, he could never really be with him anyway. It just wouldn‘t be right to take advantage of the boy’s delusions like that. 

Plus Eren may have just gone off the deep end. Levi still had no idea what this plan of his would entail? 

This feeling was insane. Just moments ago Levi had never wanted to see Eren again, and now he wanted to help him? After everything that Eren had done to him? It was ridiculous, and moments like these made Levi question his own sanity. That was just the effect that Eren had on him though, since the two had been reunited Levi had nothin but moments like these. 

Maybe he really was a little crazy, to still love somebody after they'd broken him down like this. Levi felt sorry for Eren, sure, but he couldn't shake the bagging feeling that he would jump at any excuse to make Eren seem like a good person again. He loved him, and he couldn't tell himself that he was willing to consider forgiving Eren for the right reasons with a clear conscience. 

Levi wasn’t sure any more, he wasn’t sure about anything. 

All he could think about was how much Eren had been broken in the past, and how much he was probably hurting now. He knew that Eren had wronged him badly, but all that he wanted to do in this moment was wrap his arms around him and tell him that everything was going to be ok. 

This feeling was torturous. Being given all of this information all at once, and now having to wait a whole month before he would even hear from Eren again. 

Levi didn’t have a clue what he was going to do with all of this information. Maybe he would talk to Erwin, get another perspective on this whole ordeal. After all, Erwin had been so good to him, he deserved to know the whole situation. Levi could feel a faint smile tugging on the corner of his lip. 

He didn’t know much at all right now, but he knew one thing. He couldn’t be of any help to Eren or himself in the state he was in now. He needed to help himself first. No more moping around on the sofa, no more skipping meals or drinking all day. He was no good to anyone if he didn’t get his life back together, and reading that diary had re-ignited the spark of his determination once again. 

Levi rose up to his feet, his legs still shaking as he did so. He winced in pain as his injured soles pressed against the ground. It hurt like hell, but at least he was standing. He had to keep moving forward or he would lose everything, and he knew that this determination was probably fleeting so he had to move quickly.

He was going to get a job, make some money, and take his life back! But first of all, he was going to change out of his gross, cum stained underwear.


	44. One Month Later

Daylight filtered through the curtains, and the sound of gentle rain hitting the ground outside stirred Levi from his sleep. He groaned, rolling over in the soft, white sheets. The fluorescent light from his alarm clock hurt his eyes, and he squinted until he could make out the time: 7:30AM. 

Weeks had passed since Levi had left his job as a university lecturer, but somehow he still hadn’t managed to break his previous sleeping pattern. His new job was far less demanding, and now he didn’t need to wake up so early. 

He would usually set his alarm for around nine, but his body still seemed to want him to wake earlier than that, and he would always end up drinking his morning coffee at the same time that he would have when he worked at Sakura. 

Today of all days though, Levi knew that he needed to wake up on time. 

His eyes drifted over to the calendar that hung on the back of his closed door, and although he already knew exactly what date it was he was hoping that by some miracle it wasn’t true. 

Today was the 12th. 

Levi had been anticipating this day for a long time, a month to be exact. 

As the days passed by Levi had experienced a range of emotions, varying from excitement to dread. Now however he only felt anxious. A month almost didn’t seem like long enough, and he wasn’t sure if he was ready to hear Eren’s voice again. Hell, he didn’t even know if he would answer the phone to him! 

The memory of what he’d done was still as fresh in Levi’s mind as it was one month ago. 

In fact, the memory of Eren haunted him almost every second of the day since the moment he’d left. 

Sometimes Levi would swear that the boy was still with him somewhere. It felt as if he could feel his presence sometimes and strangely enough it was a little bit comforting. Every now and again when Levi was having a bad day he would still talk to Eren, as if he was right there by his side. 

He would tell him about the things that pissed him off at work; privately-tutoring shitty little brats could be hard, they were always so spoiled and snooty. These days Levi would often come home from work with so much pent up anger that he needed to vent, and he knew that if Eren was still around he would always listen. 

So Levi would talk, just talk. 

He felt kind of lame for doing it, and he would be mortified if anyone ever heard him, but it just felt... nice. 

Levi would talk, complain, reminisce, and the version of Eren that existed only in Levi’s memory and mind would just sit there with a smile on his handsome face and support him. Levi felt as if he knew exactly how Eren would react to the things he said, and so he would imagine that it was really happening. He could remember each one of Eren’s mannerisms perfectly, from the way that his eyes would narrow when he gazed at him lovingly, to the way that he would tuck the loose strands of hair behind his ear as he listened. 

Levi knew that what he imagined wasn’t real, but it made him feel a little less broken to imagine Eren just sitting at his table, listening to the things that he said.

Everything about Eren made Levi feel less broken, and after spending a month apart Levi was sure of one thing: he missed Eren like hell. 

Sometimes he wondered if he was going crazy. 

He shouldn’t still be in love with someone who hurt him so badly, who terrified him, but he was. He knew that he definitely should be pretending to talk to him, imagining that he was holding him at night, or eating dinner with him in the evenings, but he still did it anyway. Maybe he just wasn’t ready to let Eren go yet, and although he knew that it couldn’t be healthy for him, if he simply let himself exist alone he would spiral into depression. 

Levi wished with all of his heart that he could switch off his feelings, but he couldn’t. Every night he would see Eren in his dreams, every morning he would wake up a little more lonely. 

He was used to being on his own before all of this, and he actually enjoyed it, but now it felt like there was a piece of him missing. 

Maybe he was crazy after all. 

To think that he still held such an attachment to Eren after finding out what he was really like; it was just embarrassing. That being said, even though Levi loved Eren, he still loved himself enough to never get back together with him. Even if Eren begged him to come back, even if he cried, Levi knew that he had to refuse. 

Deep down being without Eren wasn’t what he wanted, but it was what he needed. That was why he didn’t want to answer Eren’s call today. He wasn’t sure if he could hear the boy’s voice again and not fall victim to it. 

Levi rolled out of bed, his small feet slipping into the slippers that he’d placed strategically the night before. He paced over to the mirror, trying to ignore the bags under his eyes and instead admiring his shirtless figure. 

Since Eren had been gone Levi had taken up exercising as a distraction, and it had done wonders for his confidence. 

Of course, he was still tiny and slim, but now he felt much stronger and more energetic. 

His abs were more defined, and his biceps were larger. It hadn’t been his intention to improve his appearance, at the time he only wanted to fill the void in his heart with something else, but he felt that it was an added bonus. 

Levi made his way down to the kitchen, boiling to kettle and making himself a cup of fresh coffee. The calming scent filled the air, and Levi inhaled as much of the steam as he could in an attempt to distract his racing mind. 

He could see the house phone from where he was sitting, and he knew that soon enough that very phone was going to ring, and Eren would be on the other side of it. 

Levi wondered what Eren would say to him. Would he beg for forgiveness? Or had the boy lost interest in him by now? Knowing his past Levi thought that the latter would be difficult to believe, but anything was possible. 

A guy that looked like Eren could surely have almost anyone he wanted, and after everything had blown up like this maybe Eren had gotten bored and moved on to someone more appealing. 

Levi grimaced at the thought. 

The voice in his head told Levi that would never happen, the voice that sounded identical to Eren’s in every way. The voice told him that it would always love him, that it couldn’t live without him, and Levi hated the fact that made him feel so secure. 

He wasn't delusional. 

He knew that it was all just his imagination, that it was just the way that he expected that Eren would react. 

Of course it was just a coping mechanism to deal with the emptiness that Eren left behind, but that didn’t make it any less comforting. 

Levi couldn’t help himself. He had so many worries in his head, and he began to speak: 

“I just don’t know if it’s a good idea...” His voice was quiet, and he sounded pained as he spoke out loud knowing that nobody was listening. “I shouldn’t do it, I need to try and get over you.” 

The Eren that existed in Levi’s imagination disagreed, and of course that was to be expected. 

Levi knew that Eren would say something like: ‘You should answer, don’t you want to know what I’m going to say?’ or ‘Does it really seem like you’re getting over me? You still talk to me every day at home, why not talk to me for real?’

“Tch,” Levi huffed, he knew it was true. 

There was no way that he was getting over Eren this quickly and he knew it. He’d never been like this before, never acted this way. 

Maybe he just needed closure, or maybe Eren was right all along and the two really were destined to be together. 

 

 

Levi spent the next hour or so simply watching the phone, contemplating his options. 

On one hand, he could simply ignore it, but Levi knew that if he did that he would always be curious. He wouldn’t know what Eren had wanted in the first place, or why he’d been so specific about his time and date. 

There had to be a reason, this was Eren after all. 

He was stupidly intelligent, and his level of planning and articulation was beyond anything Levi had known before. 

On the other hand, he answered the call. 

Deep down Levi knew that was what he was going to do, but he didn’t feel ready in the slightest. The idea of speaking to Eren for real scared the crap out of him, but somehow Levi was just as excited as he was terrified. 

He hadn’t heard Eren’s voice in so long. 

Levi simply agonised over the situation in his head as the minutes passed by until finally...

The phone rang. 

Levi physically jumped, and his heart began to race as double it’s usual speed. There was no hesitation in his action, and he jumped up to the phone, grabbing it more quickly than he ever had before. His fingers were trembling as he held it up to his ear and spoke. 

“Hello.” 

“Hey! Professor Ackerman, right?” The voice on the other end was bright and chirpy, and Levi needed a moment to process what was happening. 

This wasn’t Eren.

“I-It’s Levi Ackerman, yes...” Levi was dumbfounded, he was expecting to hear Eren’s smooth voice, and although this one sounded familiar, it wasn’t what he expected, or wanted. 

“Great! It’s me, Hange Zoe! I’m sorry to call you at half eight instead of nine, but I just couldn’t wait!” 

What the...? Hange Zoe! THE Hange Zoe, Levi’s idol! 

What the hell was she doing on the other end of the phone? And what did she mean by that? Had Levi been waiting for her call this entire time? Had be simply assumed that it was going to be Eren who would call him?

“No, it’s quite alright.” Levi managed, still completely thrown off nay the entire situation.

“Soooooo,” she mused, her voice sounding way too cheerful for this time in the morning. “I heard about what happened at Sakura. That Rod Reiss is a real asshole! But don’t worry, there’s no homophobic discrimination here at Oxford. You won’t have that problem with our department, we’re all a bunch of queers anyway! Ha!” 

“That’s... thats great?” What the fuck was she going on about? Levi swore that he’d never been so confused in his life. 

“So I was looking through the applicants for the new lecturing job and I saw that you’d applied. So I thought, since I wanted to work together with you anyway, why not just offer you the job straight away? I’ve seen your work, so I can’t imagine hiring anybody else! It’s not like we need to go through the bullshit of an interview, and since I stated in the application that I’d be dishing out interview at 9am on the 12th... well you know. I’ll just tell everyone else no... sorry, I’m rambling aren’t I?” 

“The... job?” 

What the fuck? Levi had never applied for any job at Oxford. He didn’t even know that there was a job opening there! This was insane, utterly batshit! 

There was only one explanation for this, and that was Eren. He must’ve applied for the job in Levi’s place, how else would he know exactly when Hange was going to call? It seemed that he’d planned this whole thing, but it was damn well lucky that Hange was so keen on hiring Levi in the first place. If not then Levi would’ve been waiting for a phone call that never arrived. 

Maybe Eren had found some way to ensure that Levi got the job over anyone else, Levi wouldn’t have put it past him.

But... why? 

“Whaaaat? Don’t play dumb Ackerman, you did apply for the job didn’t you?” 

Levi was frozen in place. “Y-Yeah, I did.” WHAT WAS HE SAYING? Fuck, that just kinda... slipped out. 

Although now that he thought about it, this was kinda the opportunity of a lifetime. 

A job teaching at Oxford University, a university even more prestigious than Sakura. Surely that was every linguists dream job! 

He couldn’t just pass up an opportunity to work with his idol, even if the whole situation was a little shady right now. Eren probably knew that, that’s why he was so confident that this entire situation would work out. 

This was just like Eren, his plans always balanced on spur of the moment decisions and a lot of luck. Somehow though it always went his way. 

“Well great!” Hange beamed, Levi could hear the excitement in her voice. “Well I’ll send over the paperwork for you to sign right away, then once you’ve signed it and mailed it back you’ll officially be an Oxford Professor. How do you feel?” 

That wasn’t a question that Levi could answer honestly right now, but his lips moved before his brain could even process words and he told the woman: “I feel great!” 

Levi’s head was spinning, his stomach was down in his ass and his lungs were functioning like old crisp packets. 

This was hands down the single weirdest thing that had ever happened to him. 

It was fucking amazing, but at the same time it was utterly terrifying. That just proved that it HAD to be Eren’s doing, only that damn boy could make those two emotions fit together so perfectly. 

Levi didn’t understand what was going on, but right now he didn’t need to. He would let this all settle in time, for now he needed to prepare. 

It may have been completely and utterly crazy, but he wasn’t going to turn an opportunity like this down for anything. 

Levi was moving to England... he guessed? 

 

 

Erwin graciously accepted the offer to watch over Levi's house until it was sold, and two weeks passed by like it was only a day. Levi didn’t pack very much, it’s not like he could’ve carried it all anyway. This whole situation was such a spur of the moment decision that he didn’t have time to have everything sent over to England. 

It’s not like he needed it anyway. He could buy more furniture when he got a house there, his temporary accommodation would be furnished, at least that’s what the letter told him.

Levi hadn’t been able to sleep all night, so as his taxi pulled up to the doors of the airport terminal he was almost nodding off in the car. 

It was just his luck that the driver had been half an hour late, and now Levi wasn’t sure that he would have chance to get drunk before his flight set off. 

That was fucking fantastic. 

Levi hated flying with a passion, in fact it was probably his greatest fear. 

Last time he had flown he had Eren by his side, and the kid had been the only thing able to calm him down on a plane in his entire life. He could feel it, he just knew that this time would be absolute hell. He would be on his own, completely alone. 

His entire body was stiff, and he felt as if he couldn’t breathe as he passed through airport security. The queues were long, and it took forever to get through to the other side. 

Levi knew that he wouldn’t have time to get a drink now. He would have to settle for drinking on the plane. 

At least Hange had booked him into first class this time. Maybe it would be more relaxing in there, and maybe he wouldn’t panic like he always did. 

It was strange though, the ticket came in the post and Hange hadn’t even sent a letter with it. That woman sure was odd, she could’ve told him that she was booking his ticket in advance on the phone. In fact, she didn’t tell him about his temporary accommodation on the phone either. She just kept sending him extras in the post. Levi had expected one of the world’s leading Linguists to be more organised. 

He grinned to himself when he thought back to the day they’d met. She came into the conference all flustered and late... Ok, maybe this level of disorganisation was exactly like her. It was just something that Levi was going to have to get used to.

By the time that the boarding call sounded Levi was just about ready to explode. 

His head was pounding, and his vision was becoming blurry as he walked down the pathway that led him onto the plane. He thought that he might pass out. The brightness of the lights was all too much, and the incessant chattering of the other passengers was too loud, too obnoxious. It felt like Levi could hear everything around him and it was all amplified a hundred times over. Every word, every footstep, every breath, they all felt like they were invading Levi’s brain. 

The man clenched his fists as he made his way through the plane’s door, and was greeted by smiling stewardesses in neat uniforms. 

He could do this, he kept telling himself that over and over. 

He just needed to make it through this one flight and then he would be ok. He’d done it before after all, fairly recently too. So what made this any different? If he could make it through last time then he could make it through this time too! Right?

Levi’s breath hitched in his throat. Last time WAS different. Last time he had Eren. 

A steward lead Levi into the first class area, and Levi tried his best not to let his utter terror show. It was much nicer than the standard seating at least. The walls were a soothing, blue colour, and the seats where white leather. Levi looked around at the decor, and for a brief moment his anxiety left him.

It really was very pretty. 

Levi was shown to his seat, right by the window just like last time. 

There was more leg room in front of the seats, not like he needed it, but it was a nice touch. That way if Levi’s legs began to swing and he got fidgety he wouldn’t be annoying anybody in front of him. His anxiety did that to him sometimes. When he had no other distractions he often couldn’t stay still, and since Levi was all alone he knew that would be the case. 

“Would Sir like anything to drink?” 

Levi turned to see a woman smiling down at him, dressed in a uniform that matched the decor of the room. It was nice to see that the airline went to so much detail. 

“White wine please,” Levi told her, his teeth chattering embarrassingly as he talked. Shit, he was holding so much tension in his body that he wasn’t sure how he would fare when the plane finally took off. He would most likely have a full blown panic attack, and no amount of breathing exercises could help him when he was that terrified. “And make it a bottle.” 

The woman came back with Levi’s wine. The bottle looked fancy as hell, but what else could he have expected from first class. 

Everything around him looked fancy, including all of the people, who were all dressed much more nicely than he was. Right now he was regretting wearing a sweater and jeans, and that only made him feel more anxious. 

Now he felt as if people were watching him, judging him. He didn’t belong in the world of first class and he damn well knew it. 

“No,” he muttered to himself. 

He needed to stop thinking about himself in that way. He was an Oxford professor now, and he needed got start acting like one. 

Instead of watching other people Levi diverted his attention to the window by his side. It was still dark out, and the different coloured lights on the distant runway looked quite pretty from a distance. Some were blue, orange, pink, some were flashing and some weren’t. They all must’ve meant something to the pilot, but to Levi they were nothing more than a mere, fleeting distraction from his building terror. 

The man knew that the moment the plane began to move he was going to freak the fuck out, but maybe the thought of the new life waiting for him on the other side would be enough to get him through the duration of the journey. 

If it wasn’t then... well that was a problem he would deal with at the time. He needed to do this, for the sake of his future. 

It was hard though, so very difficult knowing that he would be facing this journey alone. Last time was so different. Eren had been right by his side, his protective aura surrounding him like a cloak, the warmth of his hand in his own. 

“Tch,” Levi huffed at himself in annoyance. Why was it that whenever he had a problem the first comforting thought that he had was about Eren? 

Maybe... it wouldn’t be so bad if he just pretended that Eren was with him right now. He did it all the time at home, and right now was a desperate time. 

Levi closed his eyes, and he felt his anxiety bubbling away down in his gut, making him feel sick. He focused on his breathing, a slow, steady in and out. He couldn’t quiet bring himself to release the tension in his body yet though. He just didn’t feel safe enough on a plane. It was like he was always bracing himself for something terrible, and although logic dictated that nothing bad was about to happen, his body rebelled against that. 

That was just the nature of anxiety, it didn’t care about logic in the slightest. 

Fuck. Levi could feel his heart racing. 

He stared at the inside of his eyelids intently, trying to remember what Eren’s face looked like when he smiled. His smile was so calming, and the feeling of his body was so warm and cozy that even when Levi was in full panic mode he could almost melt into it. Sometimes Eren’s long hair would tickle his skin as he held him, and it always made Levi feel so happy. 

Levi wasn’t entirely sure why Eren in particular was the one that made him feel so calm, but he had an idea that he didn’t want to admit to himself.

When Levi was feeling intense levels of anxiety, it was because his brain was telling his body that he was in imminent danger. Obviously the danger wasn’t really there, but all of the signals were firing from nerve to nerve, synapse to synapse, telling him that danger was just around the corner. It made him feel like he was going to die right there and then, and it was terrifying. 

When Levi was with Eren however, he didn’t feel like any harm could come to him. Eren would never let anything bad happen to him, and Levi believed that with all of his heart. Plus, if something deadly did happen that was beyond Eren’s control, he didn’t really care. If he was going to die then dying in Eren’s arms was as good a place as any. 

It was a fucked up thought, but that was just how he felt. 

Anxiety disorders really are just weird like that. 

Eren always knew just what to say when Levi was scared. It would always be something so sweet, yet so protective. Something like ‘it’s gonna be ok,’ or ‘i’m here’ or ‘nothing bad is gonna happen to you.’ 

Or...

“Don’t be scared Levi, you’re going to get through this.”

Yeah, something like that! 

Wait...

That wasn’t Levi’s imagination, Levi was sure that he had heard that with his own ears. 

His eyes shot open in a flash, and when he turned his head his heart stopped in his chest. His wide eyes met the most stunning, dazzling green. 

“E-Eren?”


	45. Reunion

Levi was visibly shaken, and Eren was desperate for his love not to make a scene. 

“I’m sorry,” he spoke quietly, looking straight into Levi’s eyes as he did so. “I know you weren’t expecting to see me here, but I couldn’t bear the thought of you on your own here. I know how scared you are of flying.” 

Levi tried to speak, he tried his best to muster words but he just couldn’t. He couldn’t believe that Eren was right there in front of him, after all of this time. 

He looked amazing, just as handsome as he ever had. The boy was all wrapped up in a tight, long sleeved shirt, and his hair was in a messy bun at the back of his head. He looked smart, and Levi could tell that he’d made an effort with his appearance. Somehow Eren had the ability to make even the simplest outfit look suave and sophisticated... and damn hot.

“It’s ok,” Eren assured him, shuffling back a little in his seat, trying to give Levi a little space. “If you don’t want to sit with me I can see if they’ll move me somewhere...”

“No.” 

Eren gulped, and Levi’s face flushed crimson as his eyes fell down to his knees. Eren suppressed the smile that threatened to spread across his face, it probably wasn’t appropriate right now. 

“Ok,” Eren told him, turning his head to face the back of the seat in front of him. He didn’t want to overwhelm Levi with his presence, he only wanted to comfort him through this experience. Levi didn’t really need to know that Eren had already flown once already today, to this very airport to be exact. He didn’t need to know that he had boarded this flight with the sole purpose of acting as Levi’s comfort blanket. “I’ll stay.” 

Eren knew that showing up like this was probably insanely overwhelming for his love, but he also knew that leaving Levi on his own, knowing that he was terrified and alone, would’ve been too much for him to handle. 

Eren had agonised over this choice, wondering whether it would be better for Levi to fly with him or meet him at the airport on the other side. Now that he'd arrived however he knew that he’d made the right decision. Levi already looked visibly more comfortable. His shoulders had relaxed, and his hands had stopped shaking so much. 

Eren tried not to stare at him, but it took him every drop of mental discipline he had. 

He hadn’t seen Levi in over a month, and it felt like a fucking year. He’d spent the entire time thinking about him, thinking of the perfect way to make everything up to him, and to fix the damage he had done. He’d missed Levi more than he could imagine, and now Levi was right by his side, looking so damn adorable that Eren wanted to scoop him up into his arms and never let go. 

Even now, with the tension of the moment weighing heavy on them both, Eren could feel the spark between them. Levi could feel it too. It was unmistakable.

The two of them stayed silent as they waited, but without hesitation Eren asked the stewardess for another wine glass, and poured a large glass for them both. They were probably both going to need it, especially Levi, who was now glaring over at Eren in annoyance. 

“I’ll get the next bottle, ok?” Eren smiled sweetly, and Levi folded his arms in a sulk. 

Who did that brat think he was? Drinking HIS wine, as if they were still a couple, as if he had any right to it. Right now however Levi wasn’t in a state to object. His body had somewhat calmed, but his mind was racing faster than ever. 

By now it was pretty obvious that Eren was the one who had sent the tickets, and that meant that he may have sent the information about his accommodation too. Not only was that completely out of order, it was terrifying. As much as Levi craved Eren’s presence, as much as he body ached for his touch, he wasn’t willing to live with him. 

He swore to god if that fucking brat had pulled some dodgy shit he would throttle him! 

Eren must’ve noticed the slight shift in Levis demeanour, the heavier breathing, the tensed muscles, because he pretty much downed his entire glass of wine in one. 

“Tch,” Levi huffed, turning to shoot Eren a disapproving glare. “First you steal my wine, then you drink it quicker than me. Unbelievable.” 

Eren sank down into his chair, sticking his long legs out into that extra leg space. That just pissed Levi off more. 

“Sorry,” he breathed. His voice was absent of that confident flare that it normally carried, but he still forced a smile for Levi. “I’m just... really, really nervous.” 

Levi raised a brow suspiciously, eyeing Eren intently as he slouched in his seat. Sure enough the boy was trembling, his hands were balled into fists, and his bottom lip was quivering. Levi wasn’t sure why he hadn’t noticed that before, he was usually so quick to pick up on changes in Eren’s mood. 

“Well,” Levi wasn’t sure what he should say, so he let the words flow naturally. “Don’t be, I’m not going to bite you ya know.” 

Eren sucked in air through gritted teeth, and he turned to face Levi with glistening eyes. Levi half thought that the boy was going to cry when he saw the expression on his face. 

“But Levi, I...”

“Ok passengers, Welcome aboard the flight to Heathrow Airport, England...” All of a sudden Eren was cut off by the the captain speaking over the tannoy, and the stewards lined up at the front, ready to give their safety demonstration. Eren stopped talking, and Levi felt his heart sink a little as the boy bit his lip and turned his attention to his feet nervously. 

It was strange, Levi wasn’t used to seeing Eren like this. He was used to the overly confident Eren, the one that was so sure of himself that he meticulously planned out his entire life with Levi. Something about him seemed different today, and it made Levi feel uneasy. 

Once the safety demonstration was over, the plane began to roll forward slowly on it’s wheels. This was the moment that Levi had been dreading and god damn it showed. 

“You ok?” Eren asked cautiously, tilting his head so stands of hair fell from his messy tie and over his eyes. Somehow having his eyes covered slightly made them even more striking, as the green shone out through the hair. 

“Fucking fantastic,” Levi huffed. 

For a moment the two were silent.

“I...” Eren hesitated for a moment, unsure about the appropriateness of his next offer. After taking another look at Levi’s face however, he decided that he needed to do anything that he could to help his love. Eren rested his arm on the armrest between Levi and himself, palm turned and open. “If you get too scared, you can take my hand.” 

He gave Levi a reassuring smile, but the man only looked back at him with something akin to disgust on his face.

“Tch,” he slapped Eren’s arm away almost immediately, glaring at the boy. “Your stupid hand is the last thing that I need, brat. I want to feel better not worse!” 

Even though Eren suspected that there was untruth to his words, they still hurt him deeply. He couldn’t expect Levi to forgive him so easily, but the man’s rejection still stung like lemon juice in a fresh knife wound. 

“S-Sorry.” 

Once again the two fell into silence, and the plane made its way to the runway. 

Levi began to focus on his breathing. 

This was it, this was the moment that Levi had been fretting over. The plane began to gain momentum, moving faster and faster until the wheels lifted off the ground. Eren’s eyes were fixed on his love for the entire duration of the takeoff, watching as his eyes widened in fear and his body began to shake. It was almost heartbreaking to see Levi like this. He was such a strong person, but in this moment he looked so weak and vulnerable and all that Eren wanted to do was protect him. 

He could hear the man’s breaths becoming quicker, more irregular, and he knew that his usual breathing exercises had failed him. His thin lip began to quiver, his fingers curling up and digging into the palms of his hands.

Fuck. This was unbearable. 

Levi was struggling, and there was nothing that Eren could do to help him this time. 

Why did he have to ruin everything like this? Why did he have to make Levi hurt when all that he wanted was to love him? He felt so powerless in this moment, so stupid! If he’d just been normal then he would’ve been able to hold Levi’s hand right now, to let his love rest his angelic head on his chest and comfort him. But no, Eren had to fuck everything up, and now Levi was panicking, and all Eren could do was watch. 

Seeing Levi like this was breaking his heart, chipping away at it agonisingly, bit by bit. 

Eren cursed himself, why must he be this way? He was so stupid! Stupid stupid stupid stupid STUPID STUPID STUPID ST...

All of a sudden his mind went blank. 

Delicate fingers grasped at his open hand, and the coolness of another palm graced the warmth of his own. The boy gasped softly, and without hesitation his fingers tightened themselves around Levi’s trembling hand. Everything else melted out of existence, and all that Eren could focus on was the sensation of his love’s perfect hand in his own again. It had been so long since he’d been able to touch him like this, to feel the softness of his skin and bask in his presence. 

His eyes shot across to find Levi staring straight at him. The man almost looked shocked by his own actions, but his eyes pleaded for Eren’s protection. Eren shook away his selfish thoughts of gratification, and clasped Levi’s tiny hand between both of his own. Levi looked as if he was going to cry, and his free hand came up to grasp at the sleeve of Eren’s shirt. 

“Shhhh,” Eren hushed him. He acted on pure impulse, and he pulled the man into a tight hug. He half expected Levi to push him away, but instead he nuzzled into him more closely.

Levi’s face was buried into Eren’s chest, shielding his eyes from the rest of the world. “It’s ok, I promise.” The smaller man shivered in his strong arms, and slowly but surely Eren could feel his breathing becoming more stable. He could feel the strong pounding of Levi’s heart against him, and he swore that there was no greater feeling on this planet. 

It was utterly overwhelming to have his love back in his arms again like this. His slender frame fit perfectly between his biceps, and Eren had to fight with everything in his being to stop himself from pulling Levi on top of him and kissing him with the full force of his love. He could smell the coconut scent of his hair, and the way that Levi clung on to him so tightly made him feel weak at the knees. 

He knew that this embrace was one of fear, not love, but Eren would take what he could get. He melted into the moment, sighing in pure bliss as he held Levi right where he belonged. God it just felt so right, so pure and beautiful. 

What a shame that it would be fleeting. What a shame that Levi would have to let him go, and drag Eren kicking and screaming back into a reality where Levi wasn’t truly his any more. 

That moment came all too quickly. 

There was a sudden ding, and the lights above their heads turned green, indicating that they could take off their seatbelt. The plane had reached its desired altitude, and the bustle of chatting people returned as they cruised through the air in style. 

Levi gasped, wriggling out of Eren’s grasp and pushing him away fiercely. His face had flushed bright red, and he looked so frustrated that Eren was worried that he might burst. 

“Damn it,” he hissed, shuffling back in his seat so he was as far away from Eren as possible. 

“Levi, it’s ok, I...”

“Don’t think that meant anything brat!” he spewed defensively. “I didn’t want to have to do that, but I...” 

He stopped in his tracks, his face somehow flushing an ever deeper red than before. 

“You were scared,” Eren told him. His eyes were calm and understanding, and Levi couldn’t bear to look at them. 

“I don’t like flying.” 

“I know, that’s why I’m here.” 

Levi eyed him suspiciously. What did that fucking brat want? A medal? A fucking thank-you? Not a chance! 

“What’s this all about anyway?” He spat, slamming his empty wine glass down on the table in front of Eren and looking at the boy like he expected him to pour him another. Of course, Eren did. “You sign me up for a fucking job? You buy me first-class plane tickets? Just what in the hell are you playing at?” 

Eren kept his eyes fixed on Levi’s scowling face as he poured him more wine. He looked so cute when he was angry, he really was an angel.

“I’m just trying to make up for all the wrong that I’ve done to you,” he stated, truthfully. He pushed the full wine glass over to Levi’s side, and the man snatched it impatiently. “I know that you probably haven’t forgiven me, but I can’t stand that I’ve hurt you. All I want is for you to be happy.” 

“Tch,” Levi took a gulp of his wine. It tasted amazing, expensive, sweet. “Yeah right, you’re up to something Jaeger I can feel it.” 

“I... just want you to be happy again.” 

Levi rolled his eyes, trying to ignore the fact that Eren bit his bottom lip in response. “Oh yeah? Well then do you mind telling me why in the hell you’re on this plane to England with me, huh? Following me again?” 

Eren rubbed the back of his neck awkwardly. “Well the truth is, I’ve actually been living in England for the past month.” 

“You... you’ve been...” 

“Yeah, I got myself a little place there. Nothing fancy, but it’ll do.” 

Levi was stunned. All this time Eren had been in another fucking country!

“So that’s why you got me the job at Oxford then, huh? You wanted to harass me there too.” 

“N-No, I...”

“And you forged that letter too didn’t you? The one about my temporary accommodation. If this is another one of your stupid tricks again then I swear to fucking god Eren! I’m not gonna live with you if that’s what you’re planning! What do you take me for, some kinda idiot?” 

“Look, just listen...”

“Hah! I bet you’ve spent this entire month just scheming and planning new ways that you can trick me into spending more time with you! Well it’s not gonna happen kid, hear me? I’m wise to all of your shit now, i’m not the same gullible fool I was before. So whatever you’re plotting you can just forget it! I’m not gonna...” 

“Just LISTEN!” 

Eren cut Levi off with a shout. It was a little louder than he’d intended and now half of the passengers on the plane were glaring at him, but it worked. Levi fell silent, lips slightly parted as he stared at Eren with beautiful, wide eyes. 

Levi felt a little blood rush down south. Why the fuck did Eren’s occasional assertiveness turn him on? For fucks sake, stupid Eren! 

“Sorry, I didn’t mean to shout,” he said calmly. “Just let me explain.” 

Levi folded his arms like a sulking child. “Fine, go on then.” 

“You do have a place to stay in England, but it isn’t my house. I’m not gonna pull anything like that. Like I said, I just want you to be happy again, that’s all.”

Levi was skeptical, but he kept listening. 

“Remember the conference?” 

“Tch, of course I remember the fucking conference.” 

They both felt a blush prickle their cheeks as their minds wandered back to the events of the conference. The first time that they'd made love, that fucking exceptional head that Eren gave in the steam room. The way that the two of them couldn’t even wait until the conference was over until they had their hands all over each other again. 

Fuck, how could Levi forget the conference. 

“I spent a lot of time thinking about what I ruined for you whilst we were apart, and I think the part that I felt the worst about was that I’d ruined your chances of working with Hange Zoe. I just wanted to make things right, so... I called her.” 

“You called her?” 

“Yeah. I explained everything to her, about Rod Reiss and myself, and how it was all my fault. She hates Reiss anyway so she wasn’t surprised, and she wanted to work with you anyway despite you losing your job. Then she mentioned something about the job opening in passing, and I just couldn’t help myself... I’m sorry. I’m sorry I did that without you knowing, but I just want you to have everything that you’ve ever wanted. You deserve it!”

Levi could feel a smile spreading across his face, but he fought to keep it at bay. 

“I could’ve handled things myself you know,” he sulked “I don’t need you to come and save me. I’m perfectly capable without you thank you very much.” 

There was some truth to that, but as Levi thought back to the conference again he began to doubt himself. If it wasn’t for Eren he wouldn’t have dared to talk to Hange Zoe in the first place. He definitely wouldn’t have thought about applying for a job at Oxford! He was stuck tutoring stuck up rich kids, but he decided that Eren didn’t need to know that. 

“Sorry,” Eren apologised again, and he sounded genuine. The subtle smile that graced his lips melted Levi’s icy interior, but his exterior stayed as hard as a rock. 

Another silence hung in the air for a minute or so, but it was Levi who broke it this time. 

“So, what are you doing in England then?” Levi asked, he tried not to look at Eren when he spoke. He just knew that the brat would have a stupidly hopeful look on his face when he heard Levi addressing him. 

“What am I doing?” 

“Yes, was there something about that question that you didn’t understand, moron?” 

“Ahh, no! I’ve been... I’ve...” Eren wasn’t sure exactly what he should say. Honestly all that he’d been doing for the past month was trying to create a perfect life for Levi to slot back into. He’d been trying to improve himself so Levi might take him back, but he couldn’t just say that. “Well honestly, I’ve been seeing a therapist.’ 

Levi looked over at Eren, brow raised. “Really?” He asked, his interest clearly piqued. 

“Yeah, Eren admitted. “I’ve only been seeing her for a couple of weeks, but she’s really great. I feel like I’ve learned a lot from her already.” 

“Well honestly, I’m really glad.” Levi looked into Eren’s eyes as he spoke, and the boy could feel the honestly radiating out of him. For a moment, just a moment, Eren let himself believe that Levi really did still care for him. 

God Levi’s eyes were so beautiful, so kind, they felt just like home, and Eren had been so homesick. 

“Thanks,” Eren smiled. “Hopefully in time I can get better. I don’t ever want to hurt you again, so I need to fix myself.”

“Pffft, maybe with enough therapy you’ll get over your dumb, obsessive crush on me and start dating people your own age.” 

“No!” Eren slammed his fist down on the table, immediately recoiling at his own actions. “I’m sorry! I didn’t mean to yell I just... It’s not a crush Levi. It’s not silly and I’ll never date anybody else until the day I die. I love you Levi, I mean that. I really, really mean it.” 

Levi was a little taken aback. He almost choked on his own breath, feeling the full weight of Eren’s emotions pressing down upon him. 

“Yeah right, whatever.” Levi pushed his fingers through his soft hair, glaring at Eren with maximum intensity. “It doesn’t matter anyway, do you really think I’m gonna take you back after what happened?” 

Eren opened his mouth to speak, but the words didn’t come. What was he meant to say to that? He knew that winning Levi back wouldn’t be easy, but he had to try. He loved him with all of his heart, and he knew that he couldn’t live without him. 

If Levi rejected him for good then he had to respect that or Levi would never be happy. 

Without Levi though, Eren truly felt that he had nothing left to live for. What was the point in living without him? He’d be nothing but a shell, a burden on the world, a lost soul. He couldn’t stop loving him, but he had to stop hurting him, and that meant respecting Levi’s wishes whether he liked it or not. 

“It doesn’t matter,” Eren said. There was a sadness in his voice, and Levi could feel his heart sink. “No matter what happens, it won’t change how I feel about you. Nothing will ever change that.” 

“That’s what you think now, but that’s the obsession talking. You’ll get over it.” Levi tried to sound kind, but the bitterness seeped through into his voice and he couldn’t help that. 

“I won’t, Levi.” Eren reached forward to grasp Levi’s hand, but he pulled back. “I love everything about you. You’re ambitious and kind and driven. You’re always thoughtful, and you’re strong even through the hardest times. You’re gorgeous, and every time you smile I just... I just... You drive me crazy Levi, that’s just how I feel.” 

Why was it that Eren always said all the right things? Why was it that even against his better judgement Levi kind of believed what the boy said? Why the fuck did the feeling of love have to be mutual? It was fucking annoying, but all that Levi wanted to do right now was kiss Eren right on his stupid, dumb lips. 

Even after everything that Eren had done, why did he have to feel this way?

“Eren I... I read your diary.” 

Green eyes jolted upwards, and worry etched itself onto Eren’s handsome face. 

“You did? I... I suppose the things in there don’t help my case here. You really must think I’m crazy.”

“Not crazy Eren, you’ve just been through some shit.” 

“Hmm,” Eren’s gaze fell to the floor. He didn’t looked convinced. 

“I... I had no idea that you’d had such a difficult time. I’m sorry that I hadn’t asked you about your past sooner, maybe I could’ve done more to help you.” Levi could feel the guilt rising in his gut, but Eren looked across at him with surprise. 

“You couldn’t have done anything, I just got dealt a shitty hand in life. Y’know, until I met you.” 

“I feel like I should’ve noticed more whilst I was still your teacher. When I saw you with bruises sometimes I’d just assume that you’d been fucking around in the playground and bumped yourself. I never would’ve thought that your foster parents were... Fuck Eren, I should’ve done more.” 

Eren reached out for Levi’s hand, and this time he didn’t stop himself. Eren’s larger hand rested on top of Levi’s, covering it up completely. The two shared a worried glance, but neither of them moved their hand. 

“Please don’t say that,” Eren said quietly. “After everything I’ve done to you.” 

Levi was lost for words, unsure about how to respond. Did he act with his head or his heart right now? He knew that showing the boy kindness would only lead to more problems, but it was as if he couldn’t stop himself. He couldn’t stop the urges that he had towards Eren if he tried, whether they were physical, emotional or anything else. 

“I’m not saying that I forgive you or anything,” he sighed, turning his hand around so their fingers could thread through each other. “I’m just saying that after knowing the whole story, your actions make a lot more sense to me.” 

Eren could feel his heart racing in his chest at the sensation of Levi’s delicate hand squeezing his own. 

“Thanks, I really do appreciate you saying that, and I promise I’ll never hurt you like that again.”

“No,” Levi told him, his voice was soft, but stern. “You won’t ever hurt me again, because I’m not going to give you the chance to.” 

Eren grimaced. He was sure that he knew what Levi meant by that, but for the sake of his own sanity he pretended that he didn’t. Levi was a clever man, and Eren knew that nobody in their right mind would want to be with him after knowing everything about him. He hoped though, with all of his heart, that the love that he and Levi shared would be enough to overpower the logical voice in Levi’s mind that probably told him to run in the opposite direction. 

After everything, Eren still believed that the two were meant to be together until the day he died. 

He knew that no matter what Levi chose to do, that would be true. 

There really was no life for Eren without Levi by his side.


	46. Blood Money

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Sorry for this absolute clusterfuck

“Don’t worry Levi, I’ll get that for you.” 

Eren had noticed Levi struggling with his suitcase, and since it was almost as big as he was Eren wasn’t surprised. He couldn’t lift the damn thing if he tried, so he was pulling it on wonky wheels, and every time it almost tipped over he had to stop and readjust it. 

Eren lifted it up with one arm, and Levi scowled at the boy when he didn’t even break a sweat. It looked so effortless to him. 

“Hey!” Levi scolded, “I was doing perfectly fine on my own. I didn’t need your help.” 

Eren looked back at him and grinned, and Levi huffed and looked away, humiliated. 

The two paced through the airport, Levi refusing to look at the way that Eren swung his suitcase in his arm as if it weighed nothing at all. Sometimes Levi forgot how strong Eren really was, and he didn’t want to remind himself of how much he liked it. 

His strength had been useful in the past, Levi often remembered the times that Eren would pick him up with so little effort before throwing him down onto the mattress, or the times when he would fuck him so hard that Levi’s body would go limp, and Eren would hold him in place. It had it’s downsides too though; like the moment where he pinned Levi against the wall and forced him to listen to his pleas and apologies, or the time when he pinned Levi down on the bed in his hotel room and tried to force a confession of love out of him. 

His strength really was a double edged sword. As was everything else about Eren. 

Every good trait the boy had was equally balanced with a trait that he hated. Each aspect of his personality could be used to tear him down just as easily as it had previously built him up.

He was like Yin and Yang, but then again, everybody was in their own way. 

The two of them passed through customs in silence, past all of the shops and fast food outlets until they made it outside. The bitter air was a shock to the senses, especially in comparison to the warmth of the airport, and Levi gasped as the chill hit his skin. 

“L-Levi, do you want my coat?” Eren asked, already beginning to slide his jacket off his shoulders as he spoke. 

Levi stopped him with an outstretched hand, and a stern expression. 

“No,” he affirmed, “if I’m going to live here I need to get used to the shitty weather. England is hardly known for being sunshine central.” 

“Well no, but people in England still wear coats. They don’t just walk around cold all the time, really Levi, you should...”

“I said no, Eren.” 

The boy reluctantly slid his coat back over his shoulders and pouted. He knew that he should stop trying to baby Levi like this all the time, but he couldn’t help it. He just wanted to help him. 

Eren found a row of taxis parked outside the terminal, and he got into the back seat after Levi. 

“Take us to Alma Close please, number one.” 

The driver turned to look and Eren and asked, “the one by the university?” 

“Yeah,” Eren smiled. “That’s the one.”

The driver turned to face the front, and the car’s engine began to hum softly as the wheels rolled. She turned on the radio, bobbing her head along to the beat of British charts music. 

“Alma Close,” Levi said. He wasn’t looking at Eren as he spoke, instead he was gazing out of the window at the bustle of the city that he would now call home. He could see the boy’s striking eyes reflected in the clean glass, but Eren didn’t need to know that fact. “Is that where I’ll be staying until I find my own place?” 

“Y-Yeah, something like that.” 

Levi didn’t like that answer. It was a little too vague for his liking, and he knew how clever Eren could be with his words.

“And when I get there you’re not just gonna magically become my roommate or my next-door-neighbour or some crap, right?” He watched for Eren’s change of expression in the reflection, but it never came.

“No,” he replied bluntly. “I already told you that isn’t going to happen. Trust me.” He flinched at those last words, knowing full well that Levi may never trust him again, but the man didn’t react to him. 

Levi sighed, hating the tiny part of him that was disappointed. 

 

The scenery became more beautiful as the minutes passed by. Bright city lights became winding roads, skyscrapers became swaying trees. The pungent scent of smoke and petrol faded away, and Levi recognised that it had been replaced by freshly cut grass. It had been dark when the two had landed, and now the golden sun was shining through the clouds. Levi was mesmerised by the beauty of the dawn sky. Blossom pink faded into lilac, which swirled into yellow and orange tones. It was as if the sky was an artists canvas, and said artist had spilled their very soul onto it. 

The dazzling rays of the fresh, morning sun illuminated the rolling fields below them. The rays themselves had broken through the shadowed clouds, like portals sent down by god. When Levi was younger his mother had always told him that those beams of light were made when the angels took a person’s soul up to heaven, and to this day he still wondered if it was true. 

“Are we really still in the city?” Levi spoke softly. He wasn’t meant to say that out loud, but it somehow slipped past his lips. 

“We’re on the outskirts,” Eren replied. “It’s beautiful isn’t it? I knew that you’d be more comfortable here rather than the in the city centre. You've always liked your space.” 

“Hmm.” 

Levi wasn’t sure how to reply to that. Eren was right, a place as picturesque as this was bound to have him feeling like he was in his element. He still had no idea where they were even going though, or when they would get there. The driver had said that it was close to the university, but they’d been driving for almost an hour by now, and Levi still had no clue where the hell they were. 

He’d been too lost in the perfection of the dawnbreak that he hadn’t bothered to pay attention to any road signs or landmarks. 

“Eren,” the boy’s name spilled from his lips quietly, and he turned to find that Eren was already gazing at him intently. The boy looked surprised when Levi turned and caught him staring, but he still didn’t look away. 

“Y-Yeah?” He was stammering again. It wasn’t really like him to do that, but Levi thought it was kind of sweet. 

The man felt as if looking at the colours of the morning sky had calmed him, and suddenly he felt comfortable letting a smile rest on his face. “Where exactly are we going?” 

“T-to your... you’ll see ok. Just...” 

His gaze dropped back to his knees, and Levi could tell that he wanted to say ‘trust me.’ 

“Fine,” Levi almost sounded like he didn’t care. Maybe he was just tired, he sounded calm. “I suppose I’ll find out.” 

“Yeah.” 

Between each song on the radio they could hear the gentle rustling of leaves on tree branches as they swayed in the breeze. Pop music really wasn’t Levi’s cup of tea, nor Eren’s, but they were enjoying the way that it filled the silence. The driver seemed to be lost in her own world, and she made no attempt to speak to either of her passengers as the car travelled along isolated roads. That only made the tension between the two ex-lovers even thicker, and the pull between them stronger. It felt like they were completely alone. 

It was there again: that same spark. 

The one that always lit their hearts aflame whenever they touched, the one that flickered in their eyes whenever they looked at each other. They tried their best to ignore it, but they found that it was almost impossible to ignore a fire without getting burned. That’s why it hurt so much as they sat in silence, an entire middle seat’s worth of space between them. 

In moment’s like this Eren wished that he was even bigger, giant, massive, big enough to close the gap between them so they could have a moment of contact as they enjoyed the drive. He almost wished the same upon Levi, but even in the most obscure parts of his imagination he couldn’t bring himself to change the man in any way. In fact, for the entirety of the journey he hadn’t been able to take his eyes off his love. 

He was still staring out of the window, watching the world go by. 

Everything from his head to his toes looked stunning, but in moments like this Eren couldn’t care less. The more time that he spent with Levi, the more he fell in love with every subtle detail of his personality. 

Where he had once looked and admired the beauty of his physical features, he now doted on the way that he would gaze in awe at the scenery, with child-like innocence. He had so often looked at Levi’s delicate body and imagined the way he would look without all of his heavy clothing, but now he couldn’t help but imagine the way that his hands would wrap around Eren’s strong arm as he slept. It wasn’t that those sexual urges had gone, actually it was quite the opposite. The deeper he fell in love with Levi, the more satisfying it felt to make love to him. That’s what he had found as he was able to spend more time with him. 

That’s how he knew that his love for Levi was real. 

He wasn’t even willing to consider the fact that his feelings were based purely off his obsession. That simply wasn’t possible. If that was the case then how had he been able to fall even deeper into love with the man? Why was it that the feelings he had were able to grow beyond what he thought was possible? 

He’d noticed a change in himself, not just the way he acted, but the way he thought. 

Where beforehand his entire life revolved around seeing Levi, spending time with him, dating him, fucking him, marrying him. Now it only revolved around making him happy. Of course he still wanted all of those things, and the thought of Levi underneath him still turned him on more than ever, there was no point in any of it if Levi didn’t want it. 

This month apart had made Eren realise something that shredded his heart into dust: No matter what he did, he couldn’t force Levi to love him. He could be the most perfect partner in the world, he could right all of his wrongs, cure his illness, turn his life around, and Levi might still say no. 

The worst part of all: If Levi wanted Eren out of his life, he would have to respect that decision. 

That being said, the more that Eren grew to understand himself, the less he trusted himself. He knew that he was impulsive, he could be cruel, and manipulative. If Levi told him to leave, wanted to move on, to forget him, he knew for a fact that he couldn’t possibly stay away. He would end up doing something that would hurt Levi even more. After all Levi was his entire reason for living. 

 

His heart beat for Levi, and if Eren needed to stay away from him he knew that the only thing that could make that happen was if his heart just... stopped beating altogether. 

 

“Ok boys we’re here!” The driver turned down the music, and took a sharp turn to the left down a pathway that Levi hadn’t even noticed. 

“R-Right!” Eren yelled, practically face-palming himself afterwards as the driver gave him a worried look. Levi snorted, Eren must’ve been deep in thought. He would often blurt things out like that when something took him by surprise. 

Levi was watching out of the window even more intently now. He was curious, what kind of place would he be living in for now? It may have only been temporary, but Levi was more than a little excited to see. He figured by now that it was somewhere that Eren had picked. There was no way that Hange Zoe had anything to do with this. If the woman had picked his living space herself he would probably be living somewhere ridiculous, and so far this place was looking promising. 

There was a long, gravelled path that led up to the driveway, separating it from any other houses nearby. Beautiful bushes dotted with flowers that Levi didn’t know the name of decorated the path at either side, and tall trees sheltered the entire area. It was so cut off from the world, so peaceful and beautiful. 

This place had Eren written all over it. Only he would go through so much effort to find a place that would suit Levi’s exact tastes to this degree. 

As they approached the house, Levi’s eyes grew wider. It was... utterly breathtaking. 

Levi wasn’t sure what he was expecting, but it definitely wasn’t this. 

The house was pretty damn big, bigger than any place that Levi had ever lived before, or even seen before in real life. 

It was red-brick, with tangles of ivy creeping up the sides onto the slanted ceiling. The house had a vintage feel, with its huge, mahogany double door and the Victorian styled beams running along the walls. He never would’ve thought that pairing red-brick with Victorian, black beams would work, but it was perfectly charming. 

The garden was gorgeous! The grass was freshly mown, and sprinklers worked tirelessly, spreading water across it, keeping it fresh and pretty. Right at the far side stood a tall tree, and Levi noticed some kind of fruit hanging off it. Apples, he assumed. They grew well in England, he was sure of it. 

The car stopped, wheels grinding to a halt against the gravel, and Levi stared at the building in amazement as Eren opened his own car door. He passed some money to the driver through her car window and thanked her. 

Before he knew it, Eren was opening his door too, and his silver eyes met brilliant green. 

“Don’t worry I’m not going to stick around,” Eren told him. “I just wanna show you the inside first, then I’ll leave.” 

Levi was too stunned to respond. He got out of the door, looking from Eren to the house over and over in disbelief. The car drove away, the sound of pop music fading with it, and then the two were truly alone again. 

Levi’s body was on autopilot as he approached the house, following Eren’s heavy footsteps as the boy lead him to the front door. The more that he studied the garden itself, the more expensive he realised this house must’ve been. There was a damn impressive water feature, a swinging love-seat hanging off one of the stronger looking tree branches, and as he looked back into the corner that was previously hidden by the bushes he could see... was that a fucking hot tub? 

This didn’t make sense, Levi couldn’t stay here, it was too much! 

“Eren,” he tugged on the boy’s sleeve, and Eren turned in a flash to look into his startled eyes. 

“What it is Levi?” 

There was an element of panic in his voice, and it must’ve showed because Eren was looking at him with a worried expression. 

“This place it’s...” 

“It’s great isn’t it?” Eren smiled like an idiot, and all of a sudden Levi’s worry faded, being replaced by a mild frustration instead. 

“Well of course it’s great moron, that’s the problem.” 

Eren stared at him blankly, his eyes staring off into the abyss as if he were trying to work that statement out in his head. 

“I ... I don’t get it.” 

“Ugh,” Levi rolled his eyes, cocking his hip to the side and resting his hand on it. 

Eren’s grasp tightened on the handle of Levi’s suitcase. God Levi looked good when he did that. 

“How much did this place even cost?” He tried his best to sound calm, but his annoyance was as present as ever. “I don’t know how long I’m gonna need to stay here, I don’t know if I’m gonna be able to afford to stay in a place like this for long!” 

Eren’s expression softened instantly. “What? You really think you’re gonna be paying?” 

“I... huh?” Levi scowled. He was NOT going to let Eren pull this shit right now. “Oh you fucking better not think that you’re paying for me, brat! 

“And what if I already have?” 

“Then I... uhh... fuck you Jaeger! You better not have!” 

Eren couldn’t help but smirk when he saw Levi getting all frustrated like that. He really was cute when he got all flustered. His face would go red, and he’d bare his teeth like an animal. Of course, to Eren that animal was more like a pissed off chihuahua than the lion that Levi probably intended, but that just made Eren dote on him even more. 

“Well It’s too late for that,” Eren grinned smugly, turning back to face the door again. “Like you said before, it’s a great place, so just try to enjoy it.” 

He tried to take another step closer to the house, but this time Levi’s hand grasped his own, practically dragging him backwards until the two were face to face again. He’d expected to see that same frustrated look on Levi’s face, but when he saw the sadness in his eyes his heart sank. He didn’t look angry any more, he looked scared. 

“Eren, how can you afford to pay rent on a place like this?” Levi said, his voice strained. “I know you have quite a bit of money laying around, but this is... too much. You don’t need to do this for me to make me love you, or to try and impress me. You know that, right?” 

It took a few moments for Eren to process what Levi had just said, because the man was still grasping his hand. The skin on skin contact was a little overwhelming, and coupled with the way that the morning sunlight danced in his eyes Eren wasn’t sure if he had died and gone to heaven. 

“Eren... you do know that, don’t you? I’m not interested in your money or anything like that.” 

Eren just stared ahead at him, the sparkle fading from his eyes as they dropped down to the ground. 

“Of course I know that,” he said quietly. “I would never think that you’d be so shallow.” 

Levi suddenly realised that he was still holding Eren’s hand, and he dropped it immediately. “So why then? Why have you been so extravagant? How come you bought us first class plane tickets? And why did you rent out this huge house for me to stay in?” 

“I just...” Eren tried to gather his thoughts. He didn’t want to offend Levi, and he didn’t want to sound like he was showing off either, but he had to tell him the truth. “I just wanted to treat you. I thought that after everything that I put you through, you deserved something better than what you had before. That’s all that I’ve wanted for you from the beginning, and I... I failed.” 

“Eren, I don’t need all of this to be happy. I mean, I like it don't get me wrong, but it’s too much. I can’t accept this. I really can’t, I’ll just call that taxi back and get a hotel or...” 

“Do you know how much money I have Levi?” That question stopped Levi in his tracks. 

“I... I saw your online bank account before. I know I shouldn’t have looked, but I know you’re hardly struggling for money. That being said, I can’t accept all of these extravagant gifts. That money is yours, you should spend it on yourself.” 

“You saw one Levi, you saw just one of my bank accounts.” 

Levi took a step back. One? How many did he have? 

“I have more money than that, I have so much money that I don’t really know what to do with it.” Eren’s brow began to furrow, and his eyes began to glisten with what Levi feared were the beginning of tears. All of a sudden he noticed the change in Eren’s demeanour. He looked sad, but it was more than that, he looked terrified.

“E-Eren... you don’t have to talk about it if you don’t...”

“It’s all just bullshit though!” Eren cried, his voice cracking. “Do you know where I got all that money Levi? It’s my inheritance. My family were pretty well off and now that all of them are dead I’m the sole beneficiary of all of their stupid money! All of it! Every stupid penny of this trash money! I never wanted this money, I wanted my family! It's... it's blood money! It's just fucking blood money!” 

Eren squeezed his eyes shut, clenching his hands as tightly as he could. Shit, he didn’t want to get emotional right now. He’d only just seen Levi again after so long, he didn’t want to scare him away. For some reason though the tears began to fall, and he wasn’t sure if he could stop them. 

“It never made me happy,” Eren sobbed, wiping the tears from his face with his free sleeve. As he wiped, another would take it’s place. He must’ve looked like such a fool right now, and in front of Levi of all people. Could he possibly sink any lower? “I got this money as soon as I turned eighteen and I moved as far away from my foster parents as I could. All I wanted was to find you again, because you were the only thing that’d ever brought me happiness since the day that my father died.” 

“Eren...” This was bad. Levi felt like he’d hit a nerve, opened a box of emotions that he didn’t have the strength to shut again.

“So I p-promise, I mean it when I say that I wasn’t trying to spend all this money on you to impress you or anything! I j-just want you to give everything! If I can’t spend my money on the one person that I love more than anything then what can I spend it on? There’s nothing I can p-possibly buy that could make me happy, but maybe it’s different with you... maybe I can make you happy with this stupid money...” 

Levi felt as if his heart had stopped beating. He’d never seen Eren like this before, so vulnerable, and so truthful.

“I j-just wanted to g-give you all of this because I fucked everything up so badly for you. I had nothing left to live for and you... you s-saved me!” 

Eren could feel the pressure of his emotions overwhelming him, and his knees buckled. He dropped down to the ground, knees pressed into the soft grass. Levi’s suitcase fell down by his side, and he buried his face in his hands so Levi couldn’t see the pathetic look on his face. It was true, everything that he was saying was true. Levi had saved him from hell and Eren had simply dragged Levi there in his place. 

“Y-you saved me, Levi. You saved me and I ruined everything for you! S-so just take the house, t-take the money and be happy. I’m fucking worthless anyway. I’m just a stupid kid after all aren’t I? I’m s-so fucking stupid... I...” 

“Eren Jaeger, you look at me right now.” 

All of a sudden Levi’s voice was closer than he expected. His heart began to pound, and the sounds of the universe all closed in on him until there was nothing else but himself, and that beautiful voice. 

He raised his head, staring at Levi with bloodshot eyes. 

Levi stared back, studying the pain in Eren’s eyes carefully. It hurt so badly. It fucking hurt Levi’s soul, and it was like all of Eren’s pain was his own to share. 

The leaves rustled in the trees, and the swinging love-seat creaked on its hinges as the wind blew a forceful torrent, and then without any warning, that same wind blew Levi right into Eren’s arms. 

And then Levi could feel the moisture of Eren’s tears on his own cheeks, and their lips collided with a hunger unmatched by anything that had ever experienced before. Eren’s eyes were still wide with shock, but Levi’s were closed, and he let himself simply experience the sensation that he had craved for what felt like a lifetime. His delicate hands threaded through Eren’s long hair, getting caught in his hair tie a few times. He didn’t care though, he couldn’t spend another moment watching Eren cry. The metre or so between them had felt like a mile, and the twin flames that dwelled in their hearts pleaded to be reunited once again. 

Eren flung his arms around Levi, deepening the kiss with all of the passion that he had in his body. He had waited for so long to hold Levi in his arms again like this. He’d seen Levi so many times in his dreams, but to hold him in reality was far sweeter than any fantasy. Another cool breeze blew over them, and their hair flew wildly around their heads, strands of Eren’s long, brown hair becoming lost in Levi’s raven locks. 

Levi’s hands grasped at Eren’s toned shoulders, and his tongue drifted up against Eren’s so satisfyingly that he thought he might melt. Eren’s hands were at his waist, and soon enough they found their way up under his shirt, stroking the soft skin on his back. 

Levi whined in response, falling on top of Eren until the boy was lying on his back in the grass. Slim legs found their place as either side of Eren’s waist, and slender fingers grasped at Eren’s collar, pulling him upwards so the kiss could deepen even further. Eren let a quiet moan escape him as Levi ground down into him, and Levi could feel that the zipper of his jeans was becoming tighter. 

“Shit,” Levi cursed, letting go of Eren’s shirt immediately, breaking the kiss painfully.

Shit, fuck, damn. 

What the hell had he just done that for?

The two were left panting as Levi shuffled off Eren’s warm body, and his own body begged him for that heat to be returned to it. 

“I’m sorry!” Levi’s voice was dripping with panic, and lust. “I... I don’t know why I did that. I shouldn’t have done that. I’m sorry Eren, I’m sorry!” 

Eren sat himself up, his head still swimming from the shock of what had just happened. 

“Oh fuck, I’m so sorry!” 

Levi felt like a total jackass. Eren had just poured his heart out to him and what did he do? He just completely took advantage of his sadness. He didn’t know why he even kissed him, he wasn’t thinking when he did it. It was like he was just completely overtaken by that damn urge and he couldn’t possibly hold himself back. 

“It’s... ok...” 

Eren still sounded dizzy, but he wasn’t crying any more. 

“No, no it’s not ok,” he spat, angry at himself, not Eren. “Now I’ve just made everything even more confusing. I didn't want to... Oh fucking hell!” 

Eren was in a state of bliss, but Levi was right. This was all confusing as hell. 

Did this mean that Levi wanted him back now? Or did he just pity him? Damn it if that was just a pity kiss Eren thought that he might just lay back down on the grass and never get up again. 

“I can go if you want me to,” he said, looking over at Levi, who gazed back at him in return. 

They shared a moment of silence, and their eyes were locked tightly. 

“N-no...” Levi said, finally looking away. He pulled himself up to his feet, brushing his hair back out of his eyes. “No we’re both tired. I’m not gonna make you go home at this stupid hour in the morning. You should just sleep on the sofa or something.” 

Eren couldn’t help but stare at Levi. 

For the first time in his entire life, he had absolutely no idea what he was feeling. 

All of the emotions that had just come up had jumbled together to make something that he didn’t understand in the slightest, but as he looked up at the morning sun his eyes felt heavy. He guessed that he really did need some sleep.

“Ok.”


	47. Let's Lose Our Minds Together

Levi knew that he wouldn’t be able to sleep that night. 

He’d made his way to the closest bedroom he could find in the dark, slotted himself under the duvet and covered his face with it. 

What the hell had he just done? 

It was crazy, it didn’t make sense in the slightest! 

One moment Eren had been sobbing, and the next minute Levi had pounced on him like a damn predator! He couldn’t explain it to Eren, he couldn’t even explain it to himself. 

Levi sighed, slapping himself on the forehead like that was some kind of punishment to fit his crime. This was just great, fucking great, exactly what he fucking needed. 

It was obvious that Levi was still well and truly in love with Eren. 

He’d believed with all of his heart that when he saw him again he would be able to resist him, that his attraction was mostly just physical, but that was a damn lie. Levi was a smart man, and he wasn’t about to try and deny his own feelings when he’d already figured out the truth. 

Trying to deny his feelings toward Eren was like trying to deny that the earth was round. 

Eren may have done some fucked up shit, but that didn’t change his feelings. Levi couldn’t help but see him as a lost soul, someone who just needed help and guidance. He wasn’t a bad person in the slightest, he was just... well, a kid.

When he’d seen Eren cry like that he’d felt his pain as if it were his own, and it was fucking agonising. Eren really did hate himself for what he’d done, and not only that but he wanted to be better. Surely that was the sign of a good person. He wanted to get better, he wanted to be normal. 

Levi couldn’t possibly have let him wallow in his own sadness like that. How could he possibly have just stood there and watched him cry? Listened to him insult himself like that! If Levi could be any comfort whatsoever to Eren then he just had to be, in that moment Eren didn’t have anybody else.

At first Levi had wanted to give Eren a gentle peck, to let the boy know what he was here for him, that he didn’t believe all the horrible things that Eren had said about himself. When their lips met however it was a completely different story. 

Levi had dreamed about the taste of Eren’s lips for so long, and when he finally felt the soft warmth of them pressed up against him it was like a moth to a flame, a shark to fresh blood, a werewolf to a full moon. Something just took over him, and he couldn’t stop himself. He didn’t even think about stopping, he didn’t even think at all! All of a sudden he was acting on pure impulse, and it was as if his body was showing him exactly what he really wanted. 

He wanted Eren. 

My Fucking god he wanted Eren so badly. 

After reading the boy’s dairy he’d realised that he wasn’t a bad person at all, no, in fact deep down he’d known that all along. 

He wasn’t awful, he didn’t enjoy causing pain and suffering. What he’d wanted all along was love. Levi had been so fucking blind to it the entire time. How could he possibly blame Eren for what he’d done? At this point Levi didn’t even fucking care any more! 

So, Eren had followed him, taken some pictures, learned about the things he liked, so what? It had seemed scary at first, but Eren wasn’t scary. Not at all. 

He’d been through so much trauma that he just wanted to seek out the only thing that made him happy, and that just happened to be Levi. His intention wasn’t to hurt Levi, it was to heal himself, and if Levi believed what Eren told him then it seemed that Eren had fallen in love with him in the process. 

Well... the feeling was mutual. 

So Eren had fucked over Mike? Well fuck Mike! Mike didn't matter any more, Eren mattered. 

He’d only acted out of panic because he thought that he was losing the one that he loved, and damn he was probably right. Eren was backed into a metaphorical corner and he just... attacked. If Eren hadn’t have stepped in then Levi probably would’ve ended up with Mike for a long damn time. He probably wouldn’t have had the chance to fall in love with Eren. 

“Fuck,” Levi hissed to himself, feeling hot tears roll down his face. He could’ve convinced himself that he was going crazy, but he knew that in reality he was simply being honest with himself for the first time in his damn life. 

He couldn’t believe what he was thinking, and he knew that if another person could peer inside his mind they would think he was a terrible person, but he couldn’t possibly care less. 

He was thinking about what he wanted. Not what was best for him, not what society would want him to think, but what HE wanted. 

He’d been using his head all this time when he could’ve been listening to his heart. If he stripped away all of the decaying layers that had piled on top of this damn relationship all that was left at the bottom was pure love. 

How had he been so fucking stupid? 

Why had he been acting on rational thought this whole time, and not impulse? His month apart from Eren was supposedly what was ‘best for him.’ That’s what his head told him, that’s what Erwin told him, that’s what society told him. He knew now that they were all wrong. There was no happiness down that path, the path of logic and reason. Where the fuck had that shit ever gotten him? 

Sure he had a career, a house, a bit of money, but did any of those things really make him happy? 

Fuck no. 

Eren had been the most seemingly unhealthy thing to ever happen to him, but god damn he had never felt passion like it. Eren came into his life and it was like he had shown Levi the meaning of truly living. 

He wasn’t here to work and earn and die, he was here to experience and enjoy and love. 

Eren had shown him that. Eren had shown him that without even meaning to... but, at what cost? 

Right now Eren was fucking broken. 

He was sick, and he hated himself. That boy had so much trauma to work through that it was unreal, and all of a sudden that last lingering thread of rational thought spoke up in his mind. 

‘Can Eren really recover properly with you by his side?’ 

“Tch,” That was a thought that Levi didn’t like in the slightest. 

Levi wasn’t just the man that Eren loved, he was the man that had been the object of his obsession, his coping mechanism to deal with the death of his entire family. If Levi really loved him, wouldn’t he put the boy’s recovery over his own selfish feelings? 

Fuck. Maybe that was true. 

Levi loved Eren, and Eren loved Levi, but sometimes love is just not enough, and there are other matters more pressing than happiness. 

Eren needed to get better, Eren needed to recover. With Levi by his side though, he couldn’t. 

Levi grasped onto his arm, digging his fingernails into the flesh with all of his might. He hoped that the pain would distract him from his feelings, but of course, it didn’t. 

He wanted Eren... But he shouldn’t... Eren was bad for him... He was bad for Eren...

Fuck. Fuck, fuck it was all just too fucking confusing. 

Levi was sure of it by now, he really was going crazy over this. He didn’t see a way out in his mind. If he left Eren he would be miserable, if he stayed with Eren he would be detrimental to the boy’s mental health. 

It seemed that it all came down to one decision, a decision that Levi hated, but a decision that was easy to make. He had to decide whether he cared more about himself, or Eren. 

It was soul destroying, but obviously, he cared more about...

“L-Levi...” 

All of a sudden that damn angelic voice was calling from the other side of the bedroom door. 

Levi sat up, mind still racing. 

“Levi, are you still awake?” 

The man groaned, but it came out more like a scared whimper. He couldn’t get out of bed, he couldn’t look at Eren right now. He knew that the next conversation that they had together was going to break both of their hearts, and if he had to carry the image of Eren’s defeated, devastated face around with him for the rest of his life he wasn’t sure if he could even keep on living. 

“I’m awake.” 

Silence. 

Silence had never felt like this before. It wasn’t merely the lack of sound, Levi could feel it, he could taste it. 

“I...” Eren’s voice was nothing more than a gentle whisper, but Levi could still hear him clearly. “I’m sorry about before, I’m really sorry. I didn't mean to break down like that.” 

Levi could feel the devil himself playing his heart strings. 

“You don’t need to apologise, Eren. You have every right to show your emotions like that.” Levi spoke honestly, there was no need to comfort the boy with lies and fabrications, it was the truth. After everything that Eren had gone through, he deserved to express his emotions in whichever way he saw fit. 

There it was again, that stinging silence that felt like it would make Levi’s ears bleed. When Eren finally broke it, it felt like a release. 

“Levi,” he let the man’s name fall from his lips so gracefully, cheek pressed against the painted wood of the bedroom door as he spoke. “I’m sorry but, I lied to you. Just a little.” 

“W-what?” Levi could feel the little hairs on the back of his neck standing up, and fear began to fill up in his lungs, drowning him slowly. 

“It’s about the house,” he began, the bridge of his nose curving as the tip pressed against the door. “It’s not rented, I bought it. I bought it for you to live in, forever if you want it.” 

Levi’s eyes went wide. “What the? Eren what the fuck? Why?”

“I already told you,” Eren’s voice was stern, assertive, but he still sounded pained. “I don’t need this stupid money, I just wanted to make a life for you, one where you could be happy.” 

“Yeah, but Eren...”

“The truth is Levi, I love you with everything in me. I wanna be with you, but I know that there’s a fucking big chance that you don’t wanna be with me, and I’ve prepared for that outcome.” 

Levi hesitated for a moment. “What do you mean by ‘prepared’?” 

“Well, if you really don’t want to be with me, then I wasn’t planning on sticking around for much longer.” 

The two let that statement hang in the air for a moment as Levi absorbed it. Why did this stupid brat have to be so cryptic all the time? 

“What does that even mean?” Levi huffed, shuffling out of the warm confines of the duvet so he could dangle his feet off the edge of the bed. They didn’t quite touch the floor. “You mean like you’re moving on or something? Going somewhere else?” 

“Y-Yeah,” Eren sighed. “Something like that.” 

Levi was still processing this information, and the deeper that it sunk in, the more bittersweet the idea became. 

Eren was going to move away if Levi rejected him? Start a new life on his own? God damn that sounded utterly painful for Levi, but maybe that was exactly what Eren needed. A life without Levi to get in his way, to pull his focus away from his recovery. He could get a place in a new town and start all over again, and although it would hurt every fibre of Levi’s being to let him go, he loved Eren enough to want what was best for him. 

He had to face it, Eren wasn’t getting better with Levi in his life. Levi was just another unhealthy coping mechanism for him. 

“F-Fuck,” Levi heaved, his shoulders rolling forward, his fingers shooting to grasp the bridge of his nose as he fought back impending tears. “I love you, Eren. I love you, I fucking love you.” 

Eren could hear the hints of sadness in his voice, and he pressed his hand against the door, his body too, trying to get as close to his love as possible without passing the barrier of the closed door. 

“I love you too!” 

“B-but I...” Levi felt like each word was choking him as it came out, and he had to fight to push them through his lips because GOD FUCKING DAMN he DID NOT want to utter them. “I can’t b-be with you. Eren, I’m sorry, I’m s-so sorry but I can’t!” It was too late to stop the sobbing now, but Levi couldn’t let Eren hear it. He picked up a pillow, muffling the sound of his cries into the crisp, new pillowcase. 

“B-But... Levi.. P-Please...” 

“Don’t Eren. Please don’t say that, it’s already too hard.” 

“Levi, but Levi you’re my everything... without you I’ll...”

What was this? Eren had seemed so calm before, like he would be able to handle it if Levi rejected him. Why was he suddenly begging? Why was he fighting like this? He said he’d prepared...

“Eren! Eren I’m begging you, don’t do this to me I can’t take it any more!”

Eren’s lips parted to speak, but he didn’t. Instead he simply crumbled down to the ground, fists clenched and dragging down the wooden door as he sobbed silently. It felt like he couldn’t breathe, somehow he wasn’t fully able to take a breath for some time. He could feel it, he could legitimately feel his heart crumbling deep in his chest, and even though he was prepared for this he didn’t know that anything could possibly hurt this badly. 

When he could finally muster words he began to plead, to beg. It was all that he had left. 

“W-what if we take some more time apart? Th-th-then I could come back, hmm? I could c-come back and we could start again? Brand new. Please Levi, please, I need you.” 

It was hell. This was what hell felt like. 

Every cell in Levi’s body just screamed at him to make the wrong decision. He was doing this shit purely for Eren’s sake, but that was so hard to remember when he was on the other side of that door begging for Levi like he had nothing left to lose. 

“God,” Levi hissed, scratching at his arm, punishing himself over and over. “Eren I love you, but we just can’t be together. I’m crazy... you drive me fucking crazy, and I drive you fucking crazy. It can’t work like that.” 

Levi could hear a gentle banging on the door that he could only assume was Eren’s fists, and his haunting voice seeped through like a fucking nightmare. 

“Ack, Nngh, Levi please. Please d-don’t leave me. Y-you’re all I’ve got, just gimme a chance, I can be different!” 

By now Levi was biting down on his own thumb, hard. 

Eren didn’t need to be different, he needed to be well again. He needed to sort through his trauma, to get over his obsession, to live a normal life. God knows he deserved it, and Levi wished that Eren could see it that way too and then maybe this wouldn’t be so demoralising of an experience for him. 

“I’m crazy... I’m crazy too Levi, you make me crazy too. B-but can’t we... can’t we just go crazy together? C-can’t we just lose our minds together for a little bit? Huh? We’d be... we’d be happy...” 

Levi wanted to scream until his throat was raw. 

What Eren was saying was completely insane, but it sounded so blissful. They could do it, they could be together and be in love and be happy. They could bring out the worst in each other, completely deteriorate, lose their minds, and they wouldn’t even care because they’d have each other. 

God it was so tempting... so tempting... it was in his grasp... all he had to do was...

No!

N-no.

Levi had to be stronger than this. That’s not the life that he wanted for Eren, not at all. He needed to be happy, he needed to get better. Eren was bright and handsome and caring and... prefect in every way. If he got the help that he needed then there were no limits to what he could accomplish. 

He deserved that chance. Levi had to give him that chance. 

But... maybe it wouldn’t be so bad if... Just this once...

“Eren.” Levi’s tone changed. It was low and smooth and it made Eren raise his head through teary, blurry eyes and stare at the door like he could see right through it. 

“L-Levi.” His voice was accompanied by a heavy sigh, and Levi wondered whether that was the sound of Eren finally accepting is fate.

He took a deep breath, contemplated his next words carefully. This was a bad idea, a bad, bad idea. It was stupid, idiotic, moronic, but Eren had always had that effect on him. 

He wanted to live in the moment just one last time. 

For the last time, he just wanted to let himself feel, not think. 

“I can’t be with you, but I wanna...” his entire body was trembling with anticipation, fear, sadness, excitement. “Let’s lose our minds together, just one last time.” 

As soon as the words left Levi’s lips he could feel the guilt beginning to build, but Eren didn’t leave him much time to contemplate that feeling. 

The door swung open, almost breaking off its hinges as it slammed against the freshly painted wall. It probably left a dint, but neither Eren nor Levi had the capacity to think about that right now. 

Eren was stood in the doorway, his stance powerful, his energy overwhelming. Glowing, green eyes were fixed in on Levi, and in return Levi’s chest began to heave visibly. That magnetic pull was stronger than ever, each one of them was a black hole to the other, pulling each other in. 

“Fuck,” Levi said out loud. Eren’s presence was so intense that he didn’t think he could move, and in this moment he could swear that he’d never wanted anything, or anybody more. 

“One last time?” Eren’s teeth were bared, his voice an animalistic growl. Levi couldn’t tell whether the boy was upset or angry, but it didn’t scare him. “Then I’m gonna make sure you can feel what I’m about to do to you for the rest of your life.” 

“Good,” Levi told him. “See to it that I do.”


	48. For The Last Time

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> sorry it took me so long to update this time, this chapter was long and I've been busyyyyyyy :') 
> 
> Love you all thanks for still reading <3

Before Levi even knew what was happening, Eren was on him. 

The boy’s strong arms were a cage around his shoulders, his kiss so powerful that Levi could barely draw a single breath. The moment their skin made contact it was as if a spark of paralysing electricity zapped through Levi’s veins, and he couldn’t move a muscle. All he was capable of doing in this moment was letting his limp body rest in Eren’s iron grip, and experiencing the blissful sensation of the boy’s loving kiss. 

If this was going to be the last night that he spent with Eren then he needed to let every detail sink into his skin, and tattoo him permanently. He needed to take a fix of Eren that would last him for the rest of his life, so he let himself focus on even the most minute details of what Eren was doing to his body. 

The roughness of the skin on Eren’s fingers as they slid up underneath his shirt, and the tingling shudder that ran up his spine when he felt the warmth of Eren’s palm against the small of his back. His kisses were rougher, more desperate than they had been before, and his grip on Levi’s delicate body was tighter too. He knew that it was the last time they would be together and it damn well showed. His fingers were pressing into Levi’s skin, his tongue deep in Levi’s mouth, his arms locked around his love firmly. 

It was as if Eren was trying to grasp Levi’s very soul, and although his fingertips brushed against it, it was just out of his reach.

Levi’s chest heaved with the pain of knowing that he had to let Eren go, but that pain soon transformed into motivation. The limpness of his posture faded away, each limb powering up in turn. It felt like he was coming to life again, and he began to remember why he was doing this in the first place. 

This was his last chance to be with Eren, to feel the dizzying effects of his physical presence. He needed to zone out anything that wasn’t Eren, he needed to forget all of his problems, to let them fade out of existence for a while so all that was left was him and the boy he loved. 

If he was going to do this, he was going to give it everything that he had. 

He was going to burn the memory of this night into his mind so it could stay with him forever. Maybe that way it would feel like a piece of Eren was still with him to comfort him when his heart began to crumble. 

Eren held on to Levi so tightly because he knew that it would be the last time that he ever could. 

He couldn’t keep hurting him like this any more. Levi was so precious to him, and as much as he wanted to stay by his side he just couldn’t. Levi deserved better than him, he needed to be free of the shackles that Eren had locked onto him. So Eren just held him there, kissing him as deeply as was possible, tasting his sweetness. 

It was perfection. Finally, after all this time he had Levi back in his arms again. It was bittersweet to feel Levi’s slight trembling up against his chest, to feel the rapid beating of his heart up against him, and smell the coconut scent of his hair. The pain was a throbbing ache, the kind of pain that spreads through your whole body and grows stronger and more intense over time. 

It didn’t matter though: He wouldn’t feel this pain for long, not where he was going next. 

So if this was the last moment of happiness in Eren’s life, the last moment that he got to spend with his love, he had to make it count. 

He needed to leave Levi with something to remember him by. After all, Levi was the one who would feel the heartbreak the most. He had to keep on living through the pain. Eren was lucky in a way, at the very least he was happy to be able to say he was with Levi until the day he died. 

“Ahhh,” Levi let a raspy breath fall from his lips as Eren moved down to his neck, nipping the tender skin between his teeth. The man tilted his head back, baring more of his neck to his lover, who in turn sucked at the pale skin. Levi was soft against Eren’s parted lips, and the sounds he made when Eren marked him only spurred the boy to suck more forcefully. 

He wanted to mark Levi as his own, leave him with raw, red patches that would have Levi thinking back to this moment for days afterwards. He wanted every other man who set their eyes on Levi to know that he belonged to somebody else. If only the marks could last forever. 

Levi practically growled as Eren marked him harder, quicker, and delicate hands found their way into Eren’s long hair. Slender legs wrapped around Eren’s waist, pulling the two closer together until they could feel the pounding of each other’s hearts. The sensation was mesmerising, it felt like home and hell at the same time. 

“E-Eren,” Levi breathed, tugging on the boys hair until their eyes met in an intense stare. “Let me do you too.” 

Eren raised a brow. “What do you mean?” 

“Let me leave marks on you too.” 

Eren was stunned, he didn’t know that Levi was aware of his thought process when he ravaged the man’s neck, but it seemed as if he and Levi were one in the same. They wanted to leave something behind, anything, whatever they could to keep their connection intact. It was fleeting, but soon it would be all that they had left. 

Eren didn’t speak, he simply tilted his head to the side to reveal the tanned skin on his neck. Strands of his hair fell over his glistening eyes and Levi had to take a moment to process the sight before him. Eren looked so damn beautiful that it hurt. He looked innocent, almost vulnerable, baring his skin for Levi’s lips to grace. Intense eyes were watching Levi through his dark hair.   
Levi knew that this would be the image of Eren that he would remember for the rest of his life. 

Levi dipped down, placing his slick lips against the warmth of Eren’s skin. He wasn’t entirely sure what to do, he’d never done anything like this before. Levi had always thought that love bites looked unsightly, trashy, ridiculous, but right here in this moment he wished that Eren could leave marks of passion over his entire body. He sucked Eren’s sensitive skin between his lips, scraping it with his teeth and coating it with moisture. 

Eren gasped, rolling his head back to give Levi more leeway. It felt good, really good. Levi’s mouth was a little cold, but Eren liked that about him. It felt so refreshing when Levi’s tongue made contact with his body, sending cooling drops of pleasure through him, turning his veins into calming streams. 

“Levi, harder. Please.” 

Eren wanted the marks on his neck to be as prominent as possible. He wanted to feel them even after Levi’s lips left him, he wanted to touch them as he faded away. 

Levi obeyed, and Eren cried out at the sensation as the pleasure was poisoned by prickling pain. His fingers dug into Levi’s back, nails scratching, dragging down and leaving faint, red lines. 

Levi arched his back, pressing himself even further into Eren’s hard body. 

“S-Sorry,” Eren said, immediately softening his grasp on his love for a moment. “I didn’t mean to hurt you or anything, I just...” 

Both of Levi’s hands grasped at Eren’s hair, and the man flung himself forward until their foreheads were pressed together. His silver eyes were focused, intense, and his voice was predatory as he demanded: 

“More.” 

For a moment they just stayed there in silence. Head to head, noses touching, eyes locked. 

Levi’s shoulders rose and fell as he panted, hands still threaded through Eren’s hair as he waited. 

Eren’s wanted to obey Levi tonight, to give into his every demand. His fingers were limp as he dragged them up Levi’s back from bottom to top. The tips barely graced the skin, but each one left a burning trail behind it as it moved. Levi shuddered, not breaking his intimate lock on Eren’s eyes for a moment, that was until...

“F-Fuck!” 

Eren’s nails were sharp against Levi once again, and he dragged his fingers down the man’s shoulder blades, over his spine, past his waist. His hands moved slowly, dragging out the delicious moans that Levi was making for as long as physically possible. 

Levi sucked a sharp breath in through his teeth when Eren’s hands went back up to the top, gently gliding over the newly marked skin once again. 

“Do it again,” Levi ordered, his voice beginning to break as he thrust his body against Eren’s. “Do it more, do it harder.” 

By now Levi was rocking back and forth in Eren’s lap, and Eren’s strong arms were holding him in place as he leant back against them. 

“It’s not hurting you?” Eren asked, legs beginning to tremble as Levi created friction against his already hard length. 

“Tch,” Levi rolled his eyes, and Eren couldn’t help but dig his fingers into the man’s skin in response. 

Fuck, Eren loved it when he did that, it had always turned him on, ever since he was a teenager. Now though, that may have been the final eye roll that he would ever see. That fact hurt, but he tried to forget it just for now. 

“I don’t care about the pain,” Levi’s voice was raspy, but he sounded serious and stern. “I just want to see the marks you leave. So tomorrow when I wake up without you I can...” He looked away quickly, gaze falling down to the side of the bed as sadness etched itself into his perfect face. 

“Levi,” Eren tried to sound calm, but he couldn’t. He sounded fucking broken, but he was determined to enjoy this night. If this was going to be the last time he could make love to Levi, he was going to make it magical. There was no time for sadness, no time for pain or regret.

A hand slid out from Levi’s shirt, a finger lifted his chin, and their lips met again in a kiss that brimmed with pure passion. Levi’s eyelids slowly fell, and his fingers slid out of Eren’s hair as his arms made their way round the boy’s broad shoulders. 

“There’s no time for that now,” Eren whispered between kisses. “I don’t want our last time together to be full of sadness. I wanna be happy just one more time, ok?” 

Levi let the corner of his lips tilt up into a smile as he broke the kiss and leaned back to look lovingly into Eren’s eyes. “Eren,” he grinned through the pain, and Eren looked back at him like he was gazing at the full moon. “Do you remember the first time that we made love?... Well, the time in the steam room when you... y’know...” 

“Of course I do,” Eren smiled back at him. “How could I ever forget?” 

“Right,” Levi’s smile faded, and the memory hung in the back of his mind. “We wanted each other so badly, but I kept refusing because of my dumb, shitty job.” 

Eren let out an audible breath. “A lot has changed since then, hasn’t it?” 

“Yeah, it has.” Levi sighed deeply. Eren was so carefree back then, and Levi was so damn stubborn. Neither of them could’ve imagined that it would end up this way. “Well you said something back then, and it’s really stuck with me.” 

“What did I say?” 

Levi took a moment to articulate his thoughts before he spoke. Eren was staring at him with big, curious eyes, and it was incredibly distracting. “It was something like... if something feels good and it feels right, then how could it be wrong?” 

Eren paused to think. “Yeah, I remember that.” 

“I’m not sure why, but something about that lit a damn fire inside me, and I’ve been thinking about it ever since.” 

Eren’s lips parted to speak, but no words came so Levi continued. 

“You told me to live in the moment and do what feels right, and after that I just kinda... did. I kept sleeping with you, I let myself fall in love with you. I even quit my job, and I did it all because it felt good, and it felt right, but...” 

Levi tried to turn his head again to look away, but Eren’s firm hand grabbed his cheeks. He didn’t need to say anything, his expression spoke volumes, and Levi turned back to meet his emerald eyes. 

“I’m even right here with you now because it feels good, and I know that it shouldn’t feel right, but it just does.” 

Eren’s expression softened a little. “I think so too.” 

“But leaving you... it feels, it f-feels terrible. I feel terrible Eren, I feel like my entire world is collapsing in on itself. But I know that it’s right. It’s the right thing to do, so why does it feel so horrible? Why, Eren?” 

“I...” Eren didn’t know what to say. There was a huge part of him that wanted to try one more time to convince Levi to stay with him, to beg him and plead with him, but there was an even bigger part that just couldn’t do it. He didn’t want Levi to stay with him out of pity or fear, Levi wouldn’t be happy that way. 

As agonising as it was, he knew that Levi had made his decision, they both had. 

“I’m sorry Levi,” the shame in his heart crept out into his tone. “I’m not exactly the kind of person you should be taking advice from. Just forget what I said back then, I really was just a dumb kid. I would’ve said anything to convince you to be with me. I didn’t know anything.” 

Levi exhaled through his nose, something that sounded almost like the beginnings of a laugh. “You know, I never thought I’d hear you say that. You were always so sure of yourself back then, what changed?” 

“I did.” 

“Hmm,” Levi wasn’t sure why, but he knew that what Eren was saying was the truth. 

From all of the bullshit, the trickery and the lies, something real and beautiful had blossomed. It’d changed them both. 

“Well for what it’s worth, I really don’t think you’re just a kid any more Eren Jaeger.” He couldn’t help but smile when he said that. There was a time when he really didn’t think that he’d see Eren as anything more than an annoying, persistent brat. 

“I’m glad you feel that way Levi,” Eren’s smile changed. The loving grin was gone, and suddenly it was replaced by a devilish smirk. There was that look in his eyes again, the one that Levi knew oh so well. The demon within Eren had awakened, and by the looks of things he was ready to fuck shit up. 

“If you still thought of me as a kid then it’d make this...” With one swift movement Levi’s back was against the mattress, and Eren’s dominating frame was looming over him. “...Really weird.” 

Levi’s head bounced as it hit the pillow, and on the second bounce his head was pushed back down into the softness by Eren’s hungry lips. 

The two of them melted into the kiss, Levi’s slender arms coming up to wrap around Eren’s shoulders, his fingers finding their way back into the boy’s hair as if they had never left. They shifted against one another, hands roaming over each others bodies like they owned them. 

The way that their fingers mapped out each others frames was so familiar now, it felt like home. They knew every curve, every crevice of each other, and they loved each broken piece of each other with all that they had. 

Eren’s nimble fingers undid the buttons on Levi’s shirt, and in turn Levi tugged at the button on Eren’s jeans until it popped open. They continued to work, undressing each other quickly, smiling when they caught each other’s eyes in the process. It didn’t take long for their clothing to be tossed to the floor, each item piling on top of the last until there was nothing left to throw. 

Eren let his eyes trace down Levi’s naked body, and he had to aggressively swallow the lump in his throat. He looked perfect, lying on his back in the cotton sheets. His skin was white as snow, his eyes silver and glowing like crescent moons. Something about Levi without his clothing awakened a surprising innocence in Eren. This was the man that he loved, in his barest, truest form, and god, he was beautiful. He looked so vulnerable, yet so willing to accept anything that Eren had to offer in this moment. 

“You are...” Eren breathed, gazing down at his entire world beneath him. “...so perfect.” 

Levi wasn’t given the chance to respond before Eren’s lips crashed down into his own. He could feel the boy’s warm hand wrapping itself around his hardened length, and he gasped for breath between each kiss as Eren’s hand began to work it’s usual magic. 

Their tongues danced together in a waltz that they wished would never end, Levi’s hands were knotted in Eren’s hair, pulling him in closer, deeper. As much as they wished that they could stay like this forever, they were suddenly met with a sense of urgency, of wanting, that they couldn’t possibly ignore. 

The movement of Eren’s hand became quicker and easier as Levi’s aching tip became to leak pre-come, coating his hand in intimate slickness. The boy could feel his love twitching underneath his touch, and that feeling alone was enough to make him ravenous, unforgiving, insatiable. 

“E-Eren, you’ve got to slow down, or I’ll...” 

Levi tried to plead with him, but Eren simply smashed his lips down into Levi’s once again to silence him. He didn’t stop, not even when Levi tugged at his hair, not even when his body began to tremble ferociously, and his eyes rolled back into his head. His teeth dug into his bottom lip, and his hips involuntarily bucked up into the boy’s skilled touch. 

Levi wanted to stop, he needed to stop soon or he’d fucking explode. It had been a while since he’d seen Eren, and he hadn’t even entertained the idea of sleeping with someone else whilst he’d been gone. It definitely showed in the man’s actions, the way that his cheeks flushed bright crimson, the way that his lip quivered as he tried desperately to hold himself back. He would feel pathetic if he were to finish now, before they’d even started, but Eren wasn’t giving him a break. 

“Eren... Eren fuck. Please stop now! I mean it!” Levi’s voice was shaky and panicked as he begged. He was right on the edge of ecstasy, but he couldn’t let himself cross the line just yet. Eren picked up on the strain in Levi’s voice and his hand stopped moving. 

“Oh... shit.” 

Eren looked down at Levi, and his own tip began to leak without even needing to be touched. Levi was flustered, glowing, chest heaving and eyes glazed over. It was just about the most erotic scene that Eren had ever witnessed. He knew that he only had to make a few more swift movements and he would get to watch his lover cry out in overwhelming pleasure, and god he wanted to see that. 

That wouldn’t be right though. 

They had only just begun, and Eren was definitely not planning on making this quick or easy. He wanted to take Levi to the peak of ecstasy, to keep him there for as long as he possibly could. He wanted Levi to be begging and pleading for release, to be on the edge of his climax for as long as he could. 

“Ahhhh,” Levi moaned as his cock twitched, missing the warm touch of Eren’s hand, aching for more. 

“You’re t-too impatient,” Levi huffed, scowling up at Eren to try and hide the lust in his eyes. “Brat.” 

“Sorry,” Eren grinned, stroking his hand through Levi’s soft hair, gazing into his silver eyes. “It’s hard to hold back, I just can’t get enough of you.” 

“Tch,” Levi knew that he was on the edge, and he needed to calm himself down a little or he wouldn’t last for much longer. 

Eren was grinning down at him like a maniac, it was like he wasn’t even phased by any of this. He got to tease Levi to the point of begging, and all the while he would just watch and enjoy. 

Not this time though, this time Levi was going to make Eren beg for once. He deserved it. 

“Lay on your back,” Levi told him, pressing his lips up against Eren’s tenderly after he spoke. 

Eren simply stared back at him, confusion painted onto his handsome face, curiosity glistening in his eyes. “Huh? Why?” 

“Just do it.” 

Eren wasn’t exactly reluctant, he was willing to follow Levi’s every command if that meant it would make him happy and satisfied. It wasn’t long before Eren was lying on his back in the sheets, and Levi was on top of him, pinning his wrists down by either side of his head. 

Eren watched in amazement as Levi took control. He was much smaller, much weaker than Eren, but his physical abilities weren’t where his power lay. His power was in his mind, in his stern voice, his unforgiving eyes. He had a hold over Eren that was stronger than anything, so although Eren could’ve lifted his arms and shaken Levi’s grasp away in a flash, he wouldn’t dare. 

“Eren,” Levi’s voice was soft, and he raised an eyebrow, lips twisting into a cocky smirk that made Eren’s brain melt. “Let’s see how long you can last, shall we?” 

“What... What do you?...” 

“Remember, if you finish now then you won’t be able to fuck me. So let’s see how long a guy as eager as you can hold back for.” 

Levi grinned arrogantly as he made his way down Eren’s body, planting small, delicate kisses down his neck, his chest, his abs, until finally he...

“Agh, Levi!” Eren rolled his head back into the pillow as he felt the cooling sensation of Levi’s tongue stroking slowly up his hard shaft. His eyelids were squeezed tight, his teeth gritted and bared. Eren craned his head back up to watch his love, not willing to miss another second of the display that Levi was putting on. 

He was licking up and down the shaft, flicking his tongue over the tip, all the while keeping his narrow eyes fixed straight on Eren. It was almost more than he could bear, watching as Levi seduced him with his eyes, and when he finally wrapped his lips around his tip Eren almost saw stars. 

“Fuck,” he breathed, “Fuck, Fuck.” 

Levi’s head began to move and it felt so good that he wanted to scream. 

He wasn’t used to this, not really. Of course, Levi had gone down on him before, but when they made love Eren would normally be the one to tease Levi, to push him to the edge until he couldn’t take it any more. Only then would he fuck him like his life depended on it, but this was different. 

He threw his head back, letting out a deep groan as Levi pushed himself deeper, taking in more of Eren’s length. 

Eren was big, and he knew that Levi couldn’t fit all of him in his mouth, but that didn't make the feeling any less wonderful. His mouth was cool, wet, his tongue working in circles round his tip, unrelenting and wild. 

“L-Levi, it feels so... agh...” 

Levi took him deeper still, and by now his eyes were closed. 

The man was focused, getting high on each sinful moan that he forced from his young lover. He could taste the sweetness of his pre-come, feel the twitching of his length against his lips as he worked. On occasion he would open his eyes to glance up at Eren, and seeing the boy’s face as Levi took him apart only motivated him to move faster, deeper. 

He was determined to have Eren practically begging to fuck him before they went any further, and as he looked at the way the boy’s mouth hung open in awe, he was sure that it wouldn’t take too long. 

“Mhmmhm,” Eren droned uncontrollably, the sensation in his sensitive tip building up more quickly than it usually did. The sight of Levi on his cock like this only made him more aroused, but he couldn’t possibly tear his eyes away if he tried. 

The feeling was electric, it was like fire, growing and searing and taking his body apart piece by piece. He knew that if Levi didn’t stop he would lose his mind entirely, he would break down and seek his release before he was able to satisfy his man, and that could not happen. 

“Ok, Ok...” Eren panted, his chest heaving as his climax began to build, gaining on him with rapid speed. Everything about this moment was perfect, the way that Levi’s hand grasped at his toned thigh, the way that the temperature of his mouth warmed with the friction, the way that he kept looking back up at Eren with his damn bedroom eyes. It drove him wild, predatory, but he couldn’t finish this way, not like this. “Y-you win, so j-just stop, s-stop now before I... ahh, Levi please. I can’t take it any more...” 

Levi’s heart soared along with his ego as he listened to the stunning melody of Eren pleading with him so pathetically. This was what he wanted, this was what he needed to hear. 

He could’ve listened to him all night long, but Levi was craving the feeling of Eren deep inside him, and as much as he hated to admit it, he couldn’t hold out much longer either, not without going completely insane. 

His lips popped as he moved his head up, and Eren cried out as the comforting warmth left his length, and Levi grinned down at him smugly. 

“Awww, look how much you’re leaking now, you really wanted to come didn’t you?” He teased, raising a brow, narrowing his eyes in a way that screamed ‘come and fucking get me.’ “Not so easy being teased, is it?” 

Eren didn’t even reply, he just dragged Levi down on top of him. The man gasped as he fell down onto Eren’s hard body, and gasped again when Eren flipped him onto his back. 

The boy’s eyes were fiery, voracious, and as Levi looked up into those big, green orbs he knew that he was fucked. 

Eren was in full on beast mode, and there was no stopping him when he was like this. 

“I’m gonna make you eat those words.” 

Eren growled, bitting Levi’s bottom lip and tugging it up. Levi choked on his breath, arms coming up to grasp at Eren’s shoulders, fingernails digging into his skin. Eren was swift, and before Levi even knew what was happening he could feel the warmth of Eren’s mouth around his cock, and the sensation of his tongue dragging its way from the base to the tip. 

Levi let out a wanton moan, his fingers tangling into Eren’s wild hair as the boy took his entire length into his mouth with ease. His hips bucked up viciously, and when he felt the leaking head of his cock hit the back of Eren’s throat he just about lost it. 

He was wailing, fucking Eren’s face viciously as that overwhelming feeling began to take control of his body, urging him to search for more. He knew that he couldn’t do this for long, he still needed to last, but this felt so damn good that he could barely control himself. 

“God damn Eren you’d better fuck me so hard after this or I swear to god...” Levi babbled, almost pushing himself too far, but then suddenly the warmth of Eren’s lips were gone. 

Levi almost whined in protest, but then Eren’s skilled mouth made its way down, his tongue flicking up against his puckered hole. 

“Oh, fuck yes.” Levi sighed, his head pushing back into the pillow as Eren’s hot, wet mouth worked his entrance. It was fascinating, bewitching how Eren could annihilate Levi like this. It was like every move he made was perfectly timed, he knew exactly when stop, to continue, to move on to something else so Levi was left right on the edge of his climax for as long as physically possible. 

Eren just knew Levi’s body, he knew it like it was his own. 

Levi writhed and wriggled and turned in the sheets as Eren’s mouth was back on his length, and his finger made its way inside his slicked up entrance. It was blissful, euphoric, paradise. 

Levi couldn’t refrain from sobbing in pleasure like a whore, he couldn’t suppress the gasps and the cries and the constant babbling of ‘I love you,’ over and over. Eren’s fingers worked to stretch him, his mouth worked slowly to tease his cock and Levi was completely devastated by its effects. 

He couldn’t speak, he couldn’t move, all he could do was lay back and experience. The satisfaction was growing, the thrill powering him as his mind went blank and fell victim to the beginnings of a climax. 

Eren looked up to see the man’s face twisted with euphoria and he realised that if he wanted to fuck Levi with everything he had, it had to be now. Levi was already squirming, letting the pleasure wash over him in waves that threatened to drown him. He needed Levi to finish whilst he was inside him, and he couldn’t take the frustration of waiting for any longer.

In a flash Eren’s fingers were removed, his mouth was gone, and he was looming over Levi, chest heaving with overwhelming passion. 

“Please fuck me,” Levi managed to choke. “Do it now, do it fucking hard, and show me no mercy.” 

Eren felt his heart powering up into overdrive when he heard those words fall so gracefully from his love’s lips. He was never one for disobeying Levi, and now more than ever he wanted to comply with his demands. 

“I’m gonna leave you with something that you’ll really remember,” Eren told him, swooping down to plant a gentle kiss against his lips, positioning the throbbing head of his cock against Levi’s entrance. 

“I’m ready.” 

Eren didn’t have the capacity to hold himself back, he didn’t have the strength to go slowly. He pushed himself inside Levi, and the two looked straight into each others eyes as they gasped and choked and moaned at the feeling that it gave them. 

They were united as one once again, and even thought they knew it would be for the last time, that didn’t make it any less beautiful. 

For a moment the two just stared at each other, gazing into one another’s eyes like they were dumbfounded, but a gentle thrust from Eren made Levi’s breath catch in his throat and then the boy couldn’t fucking stop. 

“Yes, that’s it E-ren. Give me everything you’ve got!” 

Levi’s arms came up to grab onto Eren’s biceps, holding himself in place as Eren thrusted into him forcefully. The boy was panting heavily, letting out sounds that Levi had never heard from him before. 

He felt so damn big, filling Levi up with his impressive length. The burn of the stretch was hypnotic, and when Eren angled himself just right and his tip brushed against Levi’s prostate the man was lost to the rest of the world. 

Eren’s hand came back to palm Levi’s erection, and his thrusting became harder, faster. Levi was tight and hot against him, and the feeling of his walls rubbing against Eren’s cock was staggering, breathtaking, astounding. The threads of Eren’s mind were coming apart string by string, unraveling, each focusing on a different aspect of the moment until he could feel every detail separately. 

The feeling of Levi’s trembling, delicate fingers digging into his arm. The way that his cool breath rested on Eren’s skin. The desperate, messy bucking of his hips as he met Eren’s thrusts and pushed the boy deeper inside of him. Eren was getting so close to his climax, and that was only making him more ravenous, more demonic as he fucked Levi so hard into the mattress that his hips hurt. 

The best part though, was when Levi parted his perfect lips, gazed up at him with tears of pleasure in his eyes and said: “Tell me one last time. T-Tell me... that you’re mine.” 

Fuck, that was everything that Eren needed to hear and more. 

He grasped Levi’s slender wrist, tugging it out of his hair and pinning it down above the man’s head. His face got close, close enough to feel the heat from Levi’s moan as he pushed himself deeper inside of him. 

“Levi,” he began, looking into those beautiful grey eyes, the eyes that felt like home, the eyes that held his entire universe within them. “My heart belongs to you until the day I die.” 

Levi sucked in a shaky breath, gazing up at the boy that he loved with his entire heart and soul. 

“Levi, I’m yours. I’ve always been yours and I always will be.” 

“E-Eren...” Levi was dazed, lost for words, but somehow he managed to muster up the capacity to breathe: “Me too, I’ll love you forever.” 

With that Eren drove himself into Levi, hard, and the man yelped as the thickness of Eren’s length slammed into his sweet spot once again. Eren kept Levi pinned, pounding into him forcefully, relishing in the delightful sounds that he made when he was near his peak. His hand stroked Levi’s aching length, and before he knew it Levi’s cock was twitching violently. 

“Eren, please don’t stop... I’m gonna...” 

Levi threw his head back, and the noise that escaped him was more animal than human. His body convulsed, his expression twisted into one of absolute ecstasy. Hot streams of come shot across Eren’s hand, up onto his stomach, all the while Levi was squirming beneath him as the euphoria took over his very soul. 

Eren watched in amazement, groaning deeply as Levi’s walls clenched around him. His thrusts were becoming messy, the pleasure wracking his body like an earthquake until it was all too much. The sight of Levi beneath him, the feeling of his tight heat around him, it all became too crushing. With a sensuous grunt Eren spilled his load so deep into his love that Levi knew he would be feeling it for days afterwards. He rutted into him, needy and ferocious.

Levi’s free hand came up to cup the side of Eren’s face, gazing into his eyes as his body short-circuited, and he gasped and panted until the last lingering threads of his orgasm faded away into nothingness. 

The movements of his body slowed, the soon all that could be heard was the sound of their heavy breathing. Neither of them dared to move, dared to end the moment and let reality set back in. They had gotten so lost in the moment that they’d almost forgotten the situation that they were in. This really was their last time together. 

The realisation was devastating, and Eren could feel his heart sinking deep down into the confines of his soul. That was until Levi pulled him down into a deep, loving kiss. 

The man’s arms came to wrap around Eren’s shaking neck, pulling him down deeper and closer until their bodies were pressed up against one another. 

Eren smiled into the man’s gentle lips. 

This may have been their last night together, but the night wasn’t over yet. He could stay here and be happy, at least for a little while longer...


	49. I Hope It's Not Too Late For Me To Change My Mind

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> OK so this is an IMPORTANT TRIGGER WARNING! Please check all of the tags and make sure that you're ok to read about all of the content listed there if you feel that you may be easily triggered. It's getting a little darker and I want you all to be safe and happy please <3 There will be some mildly in depth discussion about death/ suicide so just be safe my loves :) <3

Eren awoke to the sound of heavy rain beating against the ground outside, and the purr of Levi snoring softly by his side. He looked so peaceful as he slept, bare chest rising and falling slowly, strands of raven hair over his eyes. The sight of him sleeping so carelessly almost made Eren want to tuck himself back under the duvet and stay with his love for a little longer, but sadly that wasn’t a part of his plan. 

He needed to leave before Levi woke up, that way the man would be left with nothing but the intimate memories of the night before. There would be no tearful goodbye, no chance for Eren to beg Levi to stay with him, and Eren wouldn’t have the memory of Levi’s sad eyes to linger in his mind for the rest of the day. 

It had to be this way. There was no other way. That’s what he told himself. 

Eren’s eyes scanned the room, noticing their crumpled clothing strewn across the floor carelessly. He couldn’t help but let a faint smile linger on his lips when he saw Levi’s shirt by the side of the bed. Quietly, he leant down to grasp the soft material in his hand, holding it out in front of him. It was small, way too small for Eren. The boy guessed that he wouldn’t even be able to fit his arm past the sleeve, he definitely wouldn’t be able to button it around his broad chest. It felt good against his skin though, and it smelled of Levi. The tantalising scent of the man’s cologne, mixed with something that was individual to Levi and nobody else. 

Eren held the shirt up to his face, inhaling his oxygen through the fabric, getting high from the feeling that Levi’s essence gave him. 

Surely Levi wouldn’t mind if Eren took the shirt with him. He didn’t want to steal it, but he needed a piece of Levi to hold on to, just for now. Levi was with him in his heart wherever he went, and whatever he did, but when he left this world he wanted something physical to cling to. He needed to feel like Levi was with him in that moment, he needed Levi to give him the courage to go through with his plan. Eren didn’t think that he could do it alone, and so surely… Levi wouldn’t mind if he took the shirt. 

Eren shuffled out of the bed silently, being careful not to wake Levi as he went. He pulled on his jeans, slid his shirt over his head, tied back his hair with the spare hair-tie that he kept on his wrist. All the while he felt empty, like a machine, running on autopilot. If he let his emotions control him that he knew that he wouldn’t have the strength or the capacity to leave, so instead he just shut down completely. 

He’d had his time to let his emotions show. He’d been overwhelming Levi with his damn stupid emotions since they were reunited again after all of those years apart. He’d let his heart guide him for all this time and it’d brought Levi nothing but trouble. He wouldn’t ever do that again, and last night had been more than enough passion to last him a lifetime. 

Eren swallowed his sadness. For a little while, he just stared at Levi, watched him as he slept. 

My god, he was utterly stunning. His skin was so pale that he almost blended in with the white sheets, yet his hair was dark, striking, mesmerising. Every part of him from the cute curve on the bridge of his nose, to the gentle fluttering of his lashes whilst he dreamed, was breathtaking. Levi truly was a handsome man, but it went so much deeper than that. 

Levi had so much more than just physical beauty: he had passion, drive, fire. Even as he slept the powerful energy radiated from his very being, and Eren could sense that he was in the presence of an angel... no, more like a god. 

He sighed, running a shaking hand up through his hair, tutting when it caught in his hair-tie. He knew that he could watch Levi like this until the end of time, in fact nothing in this world would make him happier, but he didn’t have ‘until the end of time’ and the time that he did have was was running out rapidly. 

He knew that he had to leave before Levi stirred, before he had the chance to cry or shout or do something he’d regret. So with one last long gaze at his entire world, laying there in the sheets, peaceful and content, Eren made his way to the door. 

He could feel bitter tears stinging at the corners of his eyes, but he fought them off valiantly. This was no time for crying, he had to do what was right for Levi. 

So with a deep, shaky breath Eren opened the bedroom door. His body was tense, still as if he couldn’t move, but he powered through the feeling. This was for Levi, for Levi... he had to do this for the man that he loved... he had to leave, and he had to do it right now. 

“Tch,” Eren knew that from the moment he stepped out of the room his life would be over, but his feet moved before his brain could process anything, and before Eren knew it he was on one side of the door, and Levi was on the other. 

All that he managed to leave behind was a bittersweet “I love you” that lingered in the air. 

 

Heavy torrents of rain began to ricochet off Eren’s skin when he stepped out into the icy wind. The temperature soon numbed him, and searing bullets became dancing petals against him as he walked in long strides away from the dream house. He clutched Levi’s shirt in his hand tightly, and as he paced his mind was alight with curiosities, excitements and questions, worries and fears. 

Eren had made this decision long, long ago. 

He loved Levi, but more than anything he wanted Levi to be happy. Eren had learned a lot about himself as of recent, and the most glaring attribute, the one that he couldn’t shake, was the fact that he couldn’t live without the man he loved. 

When Levi rejected him, cast him away, shattered his soul, he knew exactly what he had to do. If he stayed in this world then he would just be a burden on Levi. He would stalk him and harass him and terrify him until the day that he died. A world where Eren could hold back that side of him didn’t exist, and so the solution was obvious. 

He needed to die. 

Eren had accepted his fate weeks ago, but now that the day was finally here, his mind couldn’t rest. 

What would it feel like to die? Would it be a gentle drifting away, peaceful and tranquil and kind of beautiful? Or would it terrify him? What if it was agonising. What if it was pain and suffering, and Eren had to endure the sensation of his body slowly shutting down, tearing itself apart, the only release being his inevitable demise.

It was chilling to think about, but Eren knew that he had to consider every possibility. He didn’t want anything to catch him off guard, and he wanted to be prepared for whatever death might actually be. 

Maybe there would be an afterlife, but fuck, Eren really, really hoped that there wasn’t. An afterlife just sounded like another plain of existence where he wouldn’t get to be with Levi, and the thought of going on like this was torturous. He wanted to fade away into nothingness, to darkness, to emptiness. That would be so much easier than an eternity of existing without Levi by his side. 

Screw an afterlife, and screw this life too. Eren didn’t want any part of it, none of it. The only solace in the hell that Eren had called ‘life’ was the fact that he got to spend a small portion of it by Levi’s side. That was enough for him. 

Eren didn’t live too far away from Levi, so it didn’t take him long to reach his apartment.   
He stared up at it with dead, empty eyes. This was the place where he would die, what a joke. 

It was small, crappy and kinda damp, but it was cheap, and it had everything that Eren needed. Dying in a place like this wasn’t ideal, but Eren didn’t like the thought of doing it outside or anything like that. There were plenty of scenic places that would make for a beautiful last sight, but that beauty would attract people, and those people didn’t need to see what he was going to do. What if a child happened to be the one to stumble across his lifeless body in the woods? No way, Eren couldn’t risk that. At least doing it in here meant that it was bound to be his shitty landlord that found him, and the guy had been such an asshole that Eren thought that he deserved the scare. 

He chuckled to himself at the thought of the old prick finding him. Then he chuckled again, mostly at the thought of him laughing at his own demise. It was a weird situation to be in, and not one that Eren would’ve even considered in the past. 

To think that he would leave this world the same way that his father did, it was so odd. Eren had always held a grudge against Grisha for ending his own life, but now that Eren was older, he finally understood the man’s pain. 

The bedroom door closed with a gentle click behind him, and Eren sat down on his unmade, single bed. The room was dull, no posters, no pictures, no decoration at all. Only blank, white walls and drawn curtains. 

This was it, he guessed. This really was the end. 

His hand tightened around Levi’s shirt, now damp from the lashing rain. Eren held it up to his face, his posture softening when he realised that it still smelled of Levi. He took a moment to take in the scent, trying his best to relax his tense body and enjoy this moment, after all it was one of his final ones. 

Delicate droplets fell from the loose strands of his soaked hair, down onto his knees, where his eyes were now fixed intensely. His free hand came up to gently touch his neck, padding against the fresh bruises that Levi had left there with his unforgiving lips. They still burned, and Eren could feel his fingers trembling at the sensation of the slight pain. This was what he wanted, he wanted to be able to feel Levi’s presence in this moment. He wanted to feel like Levi was right by his side, and with the marks and the shirt and the sweet memories of the past few months it was almost as if he was. 

“Shit,” Eren knew what he had to do, but he couldn’t bring himself to do it just yet. He wanted to think first, to let his mind wander, to relive some of the memories that gave his life meaning. He brushed over the marks of love on his neck once more, gasping as the gentle pain prickled his skin. 

That was what he needed, he needed to feel that pain for just a little bit longer. 

He would let himself experience the sensations that Levi left on his body just one last time, then he would do it. 

It hurt like hell, but Eren’s mind was made up. He needed to die, it just felt right... or at least, knowing that Levi would be happier this way made it feel right.

 

 

 

Sheets, so familiar that they become a second skin.   
The touching of lips, repeated until it becomes second nature.   
If only this bed could sprout metal bars.  
Bars that could move like vines and encase the two in an intimate cell.   
If that were to happen then Levi would grind the only key into dust.  
He’d blow the remnants into the wind, never to be seen again.   
That way he could stay by Eren’s side, that way Eren couldn’t leave.   
They would be entrapped.   
The need to adhere to their flawed notions of right and wrong, eradicated.   
No society, and in turn no inhibitions.   
All they need know until the end of time would be the heat of each other’s skin.  
All they need taste, the ambrosia of each other’s bodies.  
Trapped in a perfect cage, day in and day out.  
Bodies interlocked, so close that two becomes one.  
But when they’d look up at the bars,   
the sturdy shafts that they’d assumed were cold, unbending metal.  
They would realise something that would change everything.   
Those bars are nothing but creeping ivy.  
Beautiful, but flimsy, easily pushed away.   
And this whole time, they had been free to leave of their own accord.  
But still, they stayed.   
They stayed due to a want, not a need.  
They stayed because the world outside is cruel, unforgiving, barbarous.  
But right here, right now, in this cage of hard metal and twisting vines,  
There is nothing but excellence. 

How perfect it would be, if they could just stay like this...

 

 

 

Levi awoke with a start, his heart punching at his ribcage aggressively. 

He’d been dreaming again, he’d been dreaming so often these days. 

He shook his head, trying so desperately to cling on to the threads of memory that seeped out of his mind... what was it?... something about vines... and bars... and Eren... All too soon the visions of his dream were lost, leaving him with nothing but an empty, hollow feeling in his chest. 

His ears pricked up when he heard a noise coming from downstairs, a noise that sounded like the gentle shutting of the front door. 

For a second Levi was perplexed, but then it hit him like a fucking tsunami and he realised what that noise was, and what it meant.

He gasped, turning to his side to realise that Eren was no longer with him. His heart dropped so low that he thought he might shit it out. 

He’d really gone. Eren had really gone and he’d left without even saying goodbye. 

That made Levi feel... so empty. 

It felt as if there was unfinished business, like there was something more that he needed to get off his chest. He couldn’t just... leave... not like this. How could he? How could he just go without saying a word? How could he walk away from him? How could... No. No, of course he would. Levi had TOLD him to leave. 

Levi knew that he should be feeling sadness, or some bittersweet hope that he and Eren were free to heal separately now, but Levi didn’t feel either of those things. 

He felt scared. Panic was beginning to set in, building up in his chest, in his gut, in his head. 

Eren was gone, he was gone and Levi had no idea where he was going to go, what he was going to do. All if a sudden Levi’s protective instinct kicked in to overdrive, and he felt like the dumbest cunt alive.

Last night Levi was sure that letting Eren go was the right thing to do, but now that the moment had come and reality was beginning to set in, he was feeling the tugging, nagging ache of regret. He tried to breathe slowly, tried to just sit there and calm himself but his mind was working at double the speed, and his entire body was racked with nerves. 

This felt wrong. So wrong. So very, very wrong. 

The realism of the situation had only just hit him, and it hit him god damn hard. 

What the fuck was he doing? 

There wasn’t time to process the thoughts that zoomed through his brain at lightning speed, and his body began to move. Levi shot up to his feet, sped out of the bedroom as fast as his legs could carry him. 

Stepping out into the hallway was strange, this was the first time that Levi had seen the interior of his new house in daylight, and he was seeing it whilst completely naked and in a state of delirious panic. It looked stunning, but now wasn’t the time to admire Eren’s thoughtful design work.

He noticed a window at the far side of the hallway that overlooked the garden, and he could see the winding branches of the tall tree peering out against the dull, morning sky. Quickly, Levi dashed over to the window, huffing to himself as he had to stand on his tiptoes to get a proper view of the garden and the driveway. 

The light was way too bright for his freshly awakened eyes, and it took a moment for his eyes to adjust. Slowly, his vision came back into focus and ... It was completely desolate, Eren wasn’t there. 

Levi’s lips parted, his lungs heaved in a cool breath as if he wants to shout, but he didn’t. It wouldn’t matter if he did, nobody would be able to hear him anyway... there was nobody there to hear him.

Shit. Fucking shitting hell! 

Levi half considered running out into the garden, chasing after Eren to give him one final kiss, and a proper goodbye. As he looked down at his de-clothed frame however he decided against it. He assumed that he didn’t have many neighbours here, but the last thing that any unsuspecting by-passersrs needed to see was a naked man running through the streets to capture and kiss another man.

“Fuck,” Levi spat under his breath. Something about this entire situation didn’t seem right. He wasn’t sure whether it really was because he didn’t get a proper goodbye, or whether that was just a half-assed excuse that he told himself because he didn’t want to admit the truth. 

He didn’t want Eren to go. 

Damn, it was selfish. It was heartless and cruel and completely self serving, but more than anything Levi just wanted Eren to come back. He needed Eren to recover, to get better, but the deepest, darkest, greediest part of his being needed Eren to walk right back into this house and back into his arms. 

It was a battle between the logical side of his brain, and his most primitive and eager instincts. Just as it always had been with Eren. 

Levi tried to calm himself with rhythmic breaths, but no matter how long he paced around his room the feeling of dread just wouldn’t budge. He knew that he may have just made the biggest mistake of his entire life. He knew that if he didn’t act soon then Eren would move away, start a life without him, and he’d never see him again. 

Right now Levi didn’t have a way to contact Eren, he didn’t even know where he lived. They’d corresponded with forged letters when he was back home, and that was the only contact that they’d really had. Levi didn’t even have the same phone number any more, he’d bought himself a shiny, new one to congratulate himself on his new job. He didn’t realise that he was going to lose all of his fucking contacts, how frustrating! 

“Damn it, damn it, damn it...” Levi chanted to himself under his breath. He had been so sure of himself last night, so morally high knowing that sending Eren away was the best thing for him, but for some reason he couldn’t shake the feeling that something was wrong. 

Levi threw on a pair of boxer shorts, plodding down the stairs and into his new kitchen. It was stunning, cleaned to perfection and decorated so sophisticatedly that Levi wanted to scream. The cupboards were already stacked with coffee and tea and sugar, and Levi made himself a black coffee to try and soothe his aching soul. The house looked wonderful, but he couldn’t focus the beauty and grace of the decor just yet, his mind was still planted firmly on Eren. 

He was gone, but somehow it just didn’t feel like this was the end for them. 

Maybe Levi was wrong, maybe he’d made a mistake. Or maybe he was just being selfish, fuck it, levi didn’t even know any more. All that he knew was that he could feel the embers of the flame in his heart fizzling out, turning to ash and dust and blackness and nothingness. 

What the hell had he done? Why the hell had he sent the love of his life away like that? 

In the back of his mind, Levi always expected that he would’ve ended up with Eren again somehow. He didn’t want to admit it to himself, but it was true. When he thought about his future, there wasn’t a variation that existed where Eren wasn’t in it somehow. He couldn’t imagine ever being with anybody else, having another man touch him, kiss him, love him: Ugh! It made him feel sick. 

Why, why, why did he let himself make such an important snap decision last night? Why did he not give himself more time to think? Why did he not spend more time talking it through with Eren? When Eren had asked for his love he didn’t even give himself ample time to articulate his own thoughts or feelings. Eren put him on the spot and he just kind of... panicked. 

Levi acted so high and mighty, like he knew exactly what was best for Eren when really he had no idea! He didn’t have a fucking clue what he was doing! Not one bit! He’d acted on impulse, acted like a stupid, selfish kid the entire time they’d been back in England. 

He should’ve talked things through with Eren’s therapist, taken the time to assess the situation before sending the boy off into the cruel world all on his own. He should’ve done those things, but nope; instead he kissed him and fucked him and sent him away. God fucking damn he wished that he would’ve spent more time thinking this through, but his mind was clouded with passion and fear and confusion and lust and he lost himself. 

Levi could feel his posture beginning to crumple, and he breathed heavily into his coffee. The aroma filled his senses, but nothing could distract him from the guilt. Eren deserved better than what Levi had just given him, he deserved more than that kind of display of lust, but Levi was just so... confused. He hadn’t seen Eren in so long, and he let his body get the better of him just like he always did.

“God Eren, I’m so fucking sorry.” 

This didn’t seem right. He couldn’t leave Eren like this. 

Maybe now wasn’t right for him to pursue the boy romantically, but Levi that didn’t matter. His love for Eren ran deeper than just romance. He loved that boy right down to his fucking core. More than anything he just wanted to know that Eren was safe, he wanted to be there for him, to take care of him. If Levi really loved him then he wouldn’t just let him go off on his own, he would take some damn responsibility for the man that he loved so much and do anything that he could to help him recover. 

“Bastard,” Levi cursed at himself. He didn’t even know what he was thinking any more. This train of thought was so different from the way he was thinking last night, but he felt these emotions just as strongly. If his opinion could change so dramatically overnight then why the hell couldn’t it just change again? Could he even trust his own mind any more? 

What a fool he was. What a damn, stupid bastard. 

He’d only had good intentions when he broke Eren’s heart along with his own, but he hadn’t had enough time to think. It seemed like it was for the best at the time, but now that he was here he could tell that it was all kinds of wrong. 

If something was truly right, then it wouldn’t feel this wrong. 

Eren had told Levi to ignore those words, told him that he was just a kid, that he didn’t know what he was talking about, but that was either a lie or a previous misjudgement on Eren’s part. 

All along, Eren had been honest and upfront, caring and protective. Of course, he’d also been manipulative, terrifying, but considering his situation he’d been much more of a man than Levi had given him credit for. 

All along, it was Levi who had acted like a child, thinking of nothing but himself, making stupid decisions, and even now... letting Eren go when he was at his lowest point. 

It wasn’t right. Levi knew that now, and he was going to fix it. 

He didn’t know how he would find Eren, he didn’t know where he lived, didn’t have his current number, but he had an idea of where he could start, and there was no time to lose. 

"Fuck," Levi breathed, trying to remember where he left his phone last night. "Sorry Eren," he sighed. "I'm sorry, I'm sorry... I hope it's not too late for me to change my mind."


	50. Now or Never

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I'm just putting out another big oldddddd TRIGGER WARNING on this here chapter. Please make sure that you check the updated tags if you feel like you may be easily triggered. Be safe and happy please <3

Eren turned the bottle of pills around in his hand, listening to the rattle of the tablets inside. This seemed like the easiest way to go, this way all that he had to do was swallow, and the pills would do the rest. 

His hands were shaking, his eyes stinging with with salty tears. 

It was now or never.

 

 

Levi tapped his foot incessantly, phone pressed against his ear as he listened to the frustrating ringing tones. 

“C’mon, C’mon,” he tutted, a sense of urgency bubbling up in his gut although he didn’t really know why. He felt frantic, panicked, and the phone had been ringing for such a long time that Levi didn’t think he would get an answer at all until…

“Hey, Hey, Hey! You’re up bright and breezy this morning aren’t ya? I thought you’d be having some much needed lie-ins before starting the job, but none the less I’m happy to hear from ya!” 

Levi winced at the woman’s overly loud, overly cheerful voice, holding the phone away from his ear for a moment as he tried to process what he was even going to say. He hadn’t thought that far ahead yet, his mind had simply brought him to the person that both he and Eren had had mutual contact with. That person was none other than Hange Zoe, his idol turned employer. 

“Uhh, yeah hey.” Levi croaked, still a little overwhelmed by her overt happiness. Her radiant aura shone even through the phone, and Levi felt that he had to squint to avoid taking too much of it in. 

Hange cackled on the other end of the phone, obviously sensing the discomfort in Levi’s voice and not putting his distain down to anything too serious. “So what can I do ya for?” 

“Right… well…” Levi wasn’t sure how to articulate his thoughts at a time like this. There were way to many of them, piling one on top of another, suffocating one another until all that the man could process was a giant, confusing mess. Levi guessed that this wasn’t the time for thinking, it was time to talk, he’d figure it out as he went along. “E-Eren… Eren, where is he?” 

Levi almost face-palmed himself, he really didn’t have a way with words like Eren did.

“Huh?” Hange’s tone changed completely, and for a moment she sounded a little concerned. Of course that moment faded fast, and her usual cheery voice broke through again. “Well he’s not with me if that’s what you’re asking. I haven’t seen him since the conference actually…” 

“That’s not it!” Levi snapped, cutting the woman off in her tracks. 

She gasped, but she seemed to understand Levi’s distress, because she fell silent, ready to listen. 

“I… do you… have his phone number or anything? Or know where he happens to be living right now? I really, really need to find him.” 

For a while, silence hung in the air like a thick fog. Levi could feel the density of it weighing down on him crushingly. 

“I’m really sorry Levi, but I don’t know where he lives at all. He didn’t mention that when he called me.” 

Shit, Levi bit down on his bottom lip to stop himself from cursing out loud. “Well surely you have his phone number then, if he called you. Right?” 

“Sorry I don’t, he called my office phone and it’s kinda archaic. It doesn’t keep track of the numbers of the people who’ve called, and if it did I wouldn’t have a clue which one was his. I get so many calls, ya know.” The woman sounded genuinely sorry, but that wasn’t good enough for Levi. This was his only option, he had to keep pushing for more. 

“Please Hange, just think. What did you two talk about when he called? Did you talk about anything other than myself and the situation at Sakura? Anything at all?” 

“Well we talked about work a little, then he just kinda… praised you, for at least five minutes. He told me he was going to try counselling and I recommended my own therapist to…”

“Your own therapist?” Levi barked. This could be something, maybe he’d coined onto something that could help him locate the damn boy. “Great, what’s his number?” 

Hange scoffed on the other end of the phone. “HER name is Petra, and I can’t just give you her number for you to bombard her with questions about Eren. She probably won’t give out private information anyway.” 

“Tch,” Levi huffed, not quite in the mood for Hange’s stupid gender politics on the matter. Man, woman, dog, fucking goldfish, Levi didn’t give a flying fuck! “Hange I understand what you’re saying, but please. I’m really desperate here, this is kind of a big deal.” 

“Hmm…” Hange pretended to consider her options, but she was a kind hearted woman. She already knew that she was going to give Levi Petra’s number, and by the way that his voice cracked as he spoke she assumed that maybe now wasn’t the best time to toy with him. She would have plenty of time to tease and annoy him when he started working under her. “Ok Levi, ya got me. Do you have a pen?” 

 

 

Fucking finally. 

Levi tapped the therapist’s number into his phone the moment that he’d hung up on Hange. That woman sure could be annoying, but Levi knew that once they were working together he would probably find her frustrating attitude and jolly aura kind of charming. He held the phone up to his ear once again, fingers tapping rhythmically on the table, posture rigid and stiff. 

This time the phone rang for even longer, and each time it ceased for a second or two Levi could feel his heart in his throat. He NEEDED this woman to answer, at the moment she was his only hope. Fuck, fuck, fuck, c’mon Petra. How fucking difficult is it to just...?

“Hello! You’ve reached the office of Petra Ral how can I help you?” 

Levi practically jumped at the sudden response, almost shouting down the phone at the poor woman. “Yes! I’m calling about one of your clients, Eren Jaeger. He is your client, isn’t he?” 

Levi could hear the woman on the other end of the phone sighing deeply, as if she was sick of hearing Levi’s voice already. “I’m sorry,” she began, her tone somewhat less welcoming than it had been before. “We don’t give out personal information on any of our clients and that includes their name. Now, is there anything else I can help you with?” 

Fuck, no! This wasn't good. Levi had to think fast, it would take some real social manoeuvring to get around a situation like this. The only person he could think of who could do it would be Eren. He would probably make it look so easy too. 

“P-Please, it’s urgent. I know you’re not meant to do any of this, but I’m worried about him. Can you at least give me his number, his address, anything at all?” 

“Look,” Petra sounded damn annoyed now. Her tone was lower, her voice more raspy as if she were breathing fire down the phone. “I don’t even know who you are, but it’s like I said. I won’t give out any private information, especially to a stranger over the telephone. Do you understand that?” 

Damn it all! If this was Eren speaking to her he wold probably have the unsuspecting woman wrapped around his little finger by now. In fact just one look at his face, or one word spoken in his annoyingly angelic voice would probably put anybody under his spell. Maybe that’s why this woman was being so defensive. She probably really cared about Eren... it was difficult not to care about Eren. 

Levi could feel his hope fading fast, faster than the speed of his pounding heart. He had to get something from this woman, anything. He needed to find Eren as soon as possible and there was nothing in this world that would make him want to give up. This was going to be a minor inconvenience, nothing more nothing less. 

“It’s Levi,” he cut her off mid sentence, and she stopped speaking instantly. “Levi Ackerman, I’m sure Eren’s probably mentioned me during your sessions before.” 

Petra’s voice was bland, almost judgemental as she responded. “So YOU’RE Levi Ackerman, huh?” She didn’t sound too impressed by his announcement, but Levi couldn’t possibly care less. 

“Yes, I’m Levi Ackerman,” he spat, letting the irritation seep out into his voice. “Look, I need to find Eren as soon as possible. I’ve made... a really shitty mistake, and I need to find him right away.” 

Petra sighed again, this time much louder as if she wanted Levi to hear. “I see, well if you’ve done something to upset him then this really could be a problem. He’s a little unstable, but I can’t just give out his private information like that, it’s illegal.” 

“Petra, I’m begging you. Just give me something to go off, anything. I’ll find him.” 

Levi could hear the woman grumbling on the other end of the phone, and what sounded like papers being shuffled around. This sounded promising, or at least he hoped so. 

“Right,” the sound of shuffling paper ceased, and Levi held his breath. “I REALLY shouldn’t be doing this, but I’m willing to give you the name of the letting agents that he bought his apartment with. The property is listed with Reeves and Sons, he told me so himself and I have it in writing as well. But that is it, Levi. No phone number, no address. That’s... really all I can do.” 

The woman sounded sorry, but she didn't need to be. 

“That’s fine, thank you so, so much. I can work with that.” 

Bingo. It wasn’t much, but it was something. Levi was pissed off that he had to make yet another phone call, but it was better than nothing at all, better than stumbling around aimlessly searching. 

“Levi,” Petra’s voice called out to him, and Levi almost stopped breathing. It was almost as if she sounded... sad... pained even. “Look, I know I’m not supposed to let my personal feelings show when it comes to work, but I’m already being unprofessional by giving you any of his information to begin with, so what the heck. I just wanted to ask you... please be gentle with Eren. He’s a bit of a lost soul, but he’s good, and he loves you very much.” 

Levi wasn’t sure how to feel about that statement. Worried? Upset? Happy? Hopeful? 

“Don’t worry Petra,” he assured her. “I promise I’m going to try and put things right. And... I love him too, with my whole heart.” 

 

 

Well great, Levi had to make yet another fucking phone call. Granted, both Hange and Petra seemed like nice people to talk to, but each phone call was only giving him hints at the much bigger puzzle that he needed to decipher. Each time he hung up the phone, each time he typed in a new number, it chipped away at his composure a little bit. 

Hopefully this would be the last fucking phone call that Levi had to make for a long, long time. Somehow though, he doubted it. 

Levi had to use his mobile data to google the phone number for Reeves and sons, it seemed that Eren had set wifi up in the house somewhere, but Levi had no idea where to find the password and it would take too much time anyway. He scowled as he began yet another phone call, his brow furrowed and his teeth gritted in dissatisfaction at his current situation. 

The phone rang again, but this time it was picked up almost instantly. Thank fuck for that. 

“Hey, you’ve reached Reeves and sons.” The voice on the other end sounds so disinterested that it hurt, and Levi did not have time for any of this crap. If the man on the phone gave him any backsass Levi vowed to tear him a new fucking asshole. 

“Eren Jaeger,” Levi spat out, clearly losing his patience for social phone etiquette. “He’s got a property with you, where is it?” 

“Huh?” The man sounded like he was half asleep, but none the less Levi could hear the clicking of a computer keyboard in the background and that could only be a good sign. “Eren Jaeger, yeah man he’s got two properties with us. One rented, one bought.” 

One bought? ... The house he was in right now, of course. 

“Well can you tell me the address of the rented one please, it’s important.” 

Levi could hear the keyboard clicking again, and he almost couldn’t believe how incredibly easy this was. It was as if the guy on the phone was completely incompetent, if not that then at least inexperienced. This was a piece of cake, until...

“Wait, who even are you? What’s your name?” 

Ahh shit. Just when Levi thought that he’d gotten away with it as well.

It wasn’t like he could lie and say he was Eren. Eren would hardly be calling and asking for his own address would he. No, at this point the only option that Levi had left was to tell the truth. He couldn’t think of another person that they would give out his information to, and this guy seemed like he might just spill the information he wanted anyway with the right manipulation. He didn't seem all that smart. 

“It’s Levi, Levi Ackerman.” 

“Oh right! Shit... I-I mean shoot!” The guy stumbled over his words and Levi rolled his eyes in annoyance. “You’re the guy who’s name is down on the house, right? Yours and Eren’s? He your husband or somethin’?” 

“Uhh... yeah...” Levi lied. This was all going way too well, maybe his luck was finally beginning to turn. “I just got here from England and I wanted to surprise him in the apartment.” 

The man chuckled, and that was the most lively that he’d sounded throughout their conversation so far. “That’s kinda sweet, you two have fun won’t you? Now are ya ready? I’ll give you the address now...” 

 

 

 

All it took was three phone calls and Levi had done it! He had Eren’s address, and his phone had google maps. That was all that he needed. 

Levi ran upstairs to get changed, slipping back into his trousers with ease, but... where the fuck was his shirt? Levi cried out in frustration, searching around the bedroom for his shirt to no avail. “Fuck it,” he said out loud. He ran down the hallway to find his suitcase, unzipping it messily and pulling out the first shirt that he could find. It was sky blue, and he didn’t like the way that it looked with his trousers at all, but right now he didn’t care. 

For some reason Levi felt utterly urgent, like he had no time to lose at all. He wasn’t sure why exactly. Eren wasn’t going anywhere, not yet anyway, surely he wasn’t. Levi didn’t know that for sure though, and something in his gut pushed him on at lightning speed and he just couldn’t stop moving. 

He tapped the address into his phone, the map showing it to be about a fifteen minute walk. 

“Tch,” Levi grinned to himself, mentally preparing himself for the physical exertion. Fifteen minute walk huh? Surely that would be like... a seven minute run? If he really sprinted, he reckoned he could make it there in record time. 

It wasn’t often the Levi ran, especially in public. His face went red, and he would always begin to sweat embarrassingly as his short legs tried to keep up a decent pace. This time however, the embarrassment would be worth it. This time Levi would run like he never had before. 

 

 

 

“Ahh... Ahh fuck. Fucking Jesus Christ fuck.” 

Levi was panting like a dog by the time he reached Eren’s apartment block. He’d managed to reach his destination in about nine minutes or so. He didn’t factor in the fact that he might get a little confused by the new surroundings, but that didn’t matter now. He’d made it. He was here. 

The man’s eyes scanned the dreary building. It looked kinda shitty, not at all somewhere that Levi would imagine Eren to live. The kid had money, he could’ve bought himself somewhere a little nicer than... this fucking shitheap. 

Levi thought back to his previous phone call. Both his name and Eren’s name had been on the contract for the house. Perhaps, Eren wasn’t planning to stay in this crappy apartment for very long. Perhaps he was hoping that eventually, he could live in that big, beautiful house with Levi and be a proper family. The thought alone shredded Levi’s heart into powder. He must’ve absolutely destroyed Eren when he rejected his love. Even after everything that had happened, Eren had still been holding out to start a future with Levi. 

He sucked in a cool breath, his heart rate beginning to slow as his body cooled off from the physical exertion. 

At least he was here now. At least now he could try to make it right. 

The building was like a damn maze. It was much bigger than Levi had expected, and the doors were close together, meaning that the rooms must’ve been pretty damn small. The lighting was dim, some bulbs flickering eerily, and Levi couldn’t help but feel like he was in some kind of horror movie. It all seemed a little surreal. The place looked dirty, and everything just smelled damp. Levi was sure that he didn't want Eren to stay in this disgusting place for another moment. 

He wasn’t sure exactly what he was going to say to Eren when he saw him, but maybe he could let Eren have one of the spare rooms in the house... wait, what was he thinking? OF COURSE he would let Eren have one of the rooms, whichever room he wanted in fact. Legally the house may have been half Levi’s, but Eren had bought it. Maybe Levi could take care of him, make sure he was on track to getting better, as a thank-you for the new job, the new house, the new life. 

He deserved that much. He deserved to be taken care of, after all Levi was the one who loved him the most in the world. It was his duty. 

He reached the second floor, flicked past each door, checking the numbers on the doors until... Bingo. Number 12. 

According to the guy on the phone, this was Eren’s room. 

Levi took a deep breath, trying to process thoughts and feelings that were racing at a thousand miles per hour and refusing to settle. What was he going to say? Once again he hadn’t even thought that far ahead, and he had thrown himself head first into another important situation that he had no bearings on. His hands were shaking, his eyes darting in all directions as he thought. 

What could he say to make things right?

What boundaries should he set to make sure Eren could recover safely by his side? 

Would he even be able to set boundaries? Maybe he would just crumble the moment he looked upon the boy’s face and end up right back in his arms... No. Levi couldn’t do that again. That wouldn’t be fair, and it wouldn’t be right. This time he needed to be strong, unmoving. 

For Eren. 

The man took a calming breath. He could do this. 

Slowly, his trembling hand came up to the door. He knocked three times, knuckles aching against the hard wood. He breathed through gritted teeth, shaking his hand to try and dissipate the pain, cursing under his breath. 

Then he waited... and he waited... and then he waited some more... 

There was no reply. 

Levi tried again, this time knocking harder. Still there was no reply. 

“Shit.” 

This hadn’t been what Levi had expected. Surely, Eren couldn’t have already left could he? No way! If Eren was gone then Levi may never find him again! 

“Eren!” He called out, knocking again, this time so hard that the pain seared through his knuckles and he knew that they would bruise. He was getting desperate, more worried by the second. Eren wasn’t in, and that was a god damn awful sign. 

Levi tried to calm himself, tried to breathe in rhythm, steadied himself against the wall with one hand. “It’s ok,” he told himself out loud, “maybe he’s just gone for a walk. Maybe he’s just gone to the shops. This doesn’t mean that he’s left already.” 

Fuck, maybe he had left though. 

Levi couldn’t take it any more, he needed to know. His hand reached for the handle, pushing it down aggressively. He wasn’t expecting the door to click. He wasn’t expecting the door to actually be unlocked. 

He gasped, jumping backwards and away from the door as it practically swung open on it’s hinges. He was expecting some sort of response from within, but still there was only silence. 

Perhaps Eren really had just gone out for a little while, he probably needed to clear his head, and Levi knew that he had a tendency to go for long walks, to spend time in nature. Knowing Eren, he probably wouldn’t mind if Levi waited in his room for him to return. In fact, he would probably be overjoyed to come home and find Levi sitting on his bed. 

If he really was gone however, maybe he would’ve left a clue that would lead Levi to his whereabouts. 

Levi wasn’t usually the ‘breaking-and-entering’ type, but this situation called for special measures. He was going in. 

He stepped forward, each footstep echoing through the narrow hallway. A cool, gentle breeze tickled his skin, a breeze that had probably found its way in through the slightly open window at the end of the corridor. The first thing that Levi noticed was how dimly lit Eren’s room was. It looked as if the lighting was artificial, perhaps some kind of energy saving bulb. Whatever it was made the room look awfully dull. 

The second thing he noticed, was the small, cylindrical container that sat on the floor on it’s side. What the hell was that? Some kind of pill bottle? Levi knew that Eren wasn’t as clean and tidy as he was, but surely the boy didn’t just leave shit laying around on the floor. That was just slobbish. 

The third thing that he noticed was... 

All of a sudden, Levi stopped breathing. 

The world went silent. 

Everything became a tunnel, and every aspect of his vision, his mind, his very being, was focused in on what he saw. 

“E-Eren...” 

This wasn’t real... right? This... this wasn’t actually happening. It was some kind of nightmare... some kind of haunting nightmare. He was going to wake up and he would be back in his bed... Eren would be back in his bed... and... and... 

“No...” 

Levi’s voice was nothing more than a phantom, and without warning his knees buckled completely, and he was down on the ground on his hands and knees. The fall didn’t even hurt, there was no pain, only numbness that washed over his entire body.

Eren was laying on his back, eyes closed, Levi’s shirt still sitting in his loose, limp hand. He looked like he’d been turned to stone, he looked like all of the beautiful, vibrant life had been sucked out of him, and he was left with nothing more than an empty shell. His long hair was down, and strands were draped over his face like a blanket, but the part that scared Levi the most: his lips were twisted into a barren, unmoving smile. 

Levi felt dizzy, his head swimming, his vision blurring with what could’ve been anything from tears to delirium. He didn’t know, he didn’t care. His body moved without asking his brain for permission, and he bolted toward the boy’s body on all fours like a rabid dog. The moment that he reached him he flung himself onto him, grasping his face in his clawing hands. 

“Eren... Eren p-please... say something!” 

The boy didn’t speak, he didn’t move, or react. He simply lay there in his comatose state like a mannequin. 

Levi’s hand shot down to his wrist. He wasn’t cold, in fact he still had his usual warm glow that radiated from his body like the summer sun. It felt comforting, it felt like home. The man hurriedly searched for a pulse, but he didn't even know what he was feeling right now. Was the thumping he could feel in his fingertips Eren’s or his own? His fingers were jolting so fiercely that he couldn’t even tell. 

This was hell. This was literal hell. Eren couldn’t die, not here, not now. He couldn’t die thinking that Levi had abandoned him, he couldn’t die without knowing how far Levi was willing to go to give him a second chance. Right here in this moment, the man swore to every fucking god that had ever been dreamed up that he would give anything in this world just to have Eren open his damn eyes. They were so sparkling, so full of life, but now they were closed off from the world and Levi couldn’t stand the thought of Eren’s light being extinguished forever. 

This was his fault. This was all his stupid fucking fault! If he had just taken a moment to use his damn brain then this would never have happened! He could be lying in bed, wrapped up in the warm duvet with Eren by his side. Instead Eren was lying on the cold floor, and Levi was feeling so distraught that he felt like he might as well join him there. How could he go on knowing that he caused this? How could he live with himself after putting out one of the brightest, most beautiful flames on the planet? He didn’t deserve to go on. He didn’t deserve to live. 

That being said, he wasn’t giving up without a damn good fight. 

His trembling hand reached for his phone in his pocket, shaking fingers dialling 999. That was the British emergency service number, right? He god damn fucking hoped so, he didn’t have time to go back to google today. 

After three short rings a voice spoke out from the other end of the phone, and Levi was so delirious that he swore it was the voice of a literal angel. 

“999 what’s your emergency?”

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Also thank you all so much for your continued support, it means the world to me <3


	51. Life or Death

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Just a quick trigger warning again. If you're easily triggered then please keep checking the updated tags and be safe <3 
> 
> Thank you for all still reading, I love you all. Also sorry that I'm taking a little longer to update as of recent, I'm coming up to exam season :o

Levi never thought he’d see the day that he’d shout at a paramedic, but life could be surprising like that sometimes. 

Of course, they were in a rural area so they took a little longer than they would have in the city, but Levi could understand that. It was a good job that he already knew a little CPR, and an even better job that the operator stayed on the line with him and talked him through his panic. He was hysterical, but the woman on the phone was so calming, so professional, and Levi found himself beginning to take charge of the situation. 

This was not the time for panic, it was the time for action. 

When the ambulance finally arrived however, carting Eren off into the back of the vehicle and closing the doors behind him, that was when Levi finally snapped. 

“What the fuck do you mean I can’t ride in the back with him!?” Levi’s words sprayed out like poison, his eyes burning into the man like destructive lasers as he glared at him in disgust. 

The paramedic didn’t look shocked by Levi’s outburst, in fact he looked as if he was used to dealing with this kind crap all the time. “I’m sorry sir, but with all due respect you’ll just get in the way.” 

Levi took a step forward, teeth bared. The paramedic himself wasn’t too much taller than him, so the man didn’t feel out of place squaring up to him. With the state of Levi’s emotions right now however, he probably would’ve squared up to a fucking bear if it tried to tear him away from Eren for even a second. 

“If you don’t let me in the back of this fucking vehicle my fist will get in the way of your face!” Levi growled, scowling right in the poor man’s face. For a moment the guy actually looked annoyed, but then his colleague placed her hand on his shoulder, looking into his eyes with a friendly stare as if to calm him. 

“Connie, let’s let him in the back.” The woman spoke softly, her big, brown eyes glistening in the morning sunlight. The man raised an eyebrow disapprovingly, but it wasn’t long before he gave in. It wasn’t like they had time to stand here and argue.

“Fine,” he told Levi, opening the doors for him and letting him inside. 

Levi practically dove into the ambulance, his hand immediately finding Eren’s as he lay stone cold on the stretcher. There was already a woman administering CPR, and she gasped in shock as Levi planted desperate kisses all over Eren’s hand. 

“Ignore him,” Connie ordered, rummaging through some gear at other side of ambulance. “Keep working.” 

The woman nodded timidly, and she kept on working without a word. 

The brown eyed woman launched herself into the drivers seat, and before Levi knew it they were speeding off in the direction of the nearest hospital. 

 

 

Levi’s vision was blurred, his head was spinning and he was clinging to Eren’s lifeless hand for dear life. He needed to be ok, he just had to be ok. Levi was in the paramedic’s way just a little bit, but he was so delirious that he didn’t even notice, and the paramedics simply raced around him as if it were any other normal day. 

They seemed so calm, so efficient. Levi wasn’t sure exactly what they were doing, but each time he looked up at them they had blank, expressionless faces. 

Fucking morons! Did they not know who they had dying on their fucking stretcher? Did they not know that Levi’s entire world was lying there? The life slowly seeping out of him! His hand was getting colder by the second, his breathing so shallow and slow that Levi couldn’t hear it at all. The paramedics assured him that it was there though, Eren was still breathing, Eren was still alive. 

That being said however, things weren’t looking good.

“Ok, I’m ready.” Connie told the woman, who gave him a solemn nod in response. Connie reached down by his side, bringing out some kind of contraption that Levi had never seen in his life. There was a long tube attached, and the closer that he brought the contraption up to Eren’s face the more that Levi felt like slapping it out of the man’s damn hands. 

“What... What the fuck is that?” Levi’s voice was shaky, and it broke as he spoke in a high pitched, fearful voice. 

“Don’t worry sir, it’s just a stomach pump,” the paramedic assured him. “We’re not sure exactly when he ingested the substance, so we may still be able to remove some of it manually.” 

“R-Right...” Levi was shaking violently, and as much as the stomach pump scared the crap out of him, he knew that it would potentially help Eren. Fuck, it did look terrifying though. If Eren still had the potential to think right now, to feel, he knew that it would be incredibly distressing for him. Levi could feel tears stinging at the corners of his eyes all over again, and he squeezed Eren’s hand so tightly in his own. 

He hoped that Eren wasn’t scared, he hoped that Eren wasn’t conscious to experience any of this horror. In Levi’s mind, Eren was dreaming peacefully, drifting in and out of fantasies where the two of them could be together. That’s what Levi told himself was happening, that’s what kept him from going utterly insane. 

 

 

 

The rest of the ambulance journey was a horrifying blur, but it didn’t last long. They arrived at the hospital in no time, and Eren’s stretcher was wheeled in through a back entrance. Levi followed behind hurriedly as they brought Eren through brightly lit corridors, round corners until they finally arrived at the room they would treat him in. 

They wheeled his lifeless body through the door, but as Levi tried to follow he was stopped in his tracks. 

“I’m sorry sir, but you’ll have to stay in the waiting room.” One of the doctors told him sternly. 

Levi’s voice broke as the panic began to set in. “W-What? I can’t... I can’t just leave him!” 

“I’m sorry.” The doctor looked into his eyes as he spoke, and Levi knew that he was serious. “We can’t let you in. Please go to the waiting room down the hall, you shouldn’t even be in this corridor right now.” 

Without warning the doctor closed the door, and Levi was left on the other side. Dazed, confused, afraid. 

 

 

 

Now all that was left, was for Levi to wait. 

He could hear the commotion on the other side of the door, and it ripped each heart string from his chest knowing that Eren was in there, and he was out here, and there was nothing that he could do about it. 

Each metre was a mile between them, and in this moment Levi would give anything in the world to be able to hold Eren’s hand. All he wanted was the feel the familiar warmth of his skin, to see those glistening, green eyes looking back at him, filled with wonder and awe. Levi never would’ve thought that his actions had the potential to close those beautiful eyes forever, he never would’ve expected this reaction from Eren. 

The more that he thought about it though, the more stupid he began to feel. 

There had been signs, obvious, glaring signs that may as well have been slapping Levi right in the face. 

‘Moving on.’ Levi should’ve known that Eren didn’t mean moving away. He thought that he was an intelligent man, but as of recent he was beginning to realise just how idiotic he really was. He knew full well that Eren was mentally unstable, he should’ve at least considered the possibility that Eren might have a serious reaction to his rejection. 

Levi pressed his slender body against the door, anything to feel just that little bit closer to Eren right now. His delicate hands balled up into fists, his eyelids tense and trying to hold back tears. 

Fuck, this all felt way too surreal. 

Only a few hours ago the two had been lying in bed next to each other, a few hours before that they had been deep in the throws of passion. How had everything changed so damn quickly. The two had been rolling around in the clouds of heaven and all of a sudden they’d rolled off the edge plunged straight into the fires of hell. 

Levi could hear speaking on the other side of the door, and he pressed his ear up against it longingly. He couldn’t quite make out what was being said, but the voices sounded frantic. Shit, that couldn’t be good. Levi could hear his heart pounding in his ears, he could feel it in his damn lips, in his wrists, in his fucking eyebrows. He half considered storming into the room to find out what was going on, but he’d already shouted at paramedics today, he didn’t need to shout at doctors and nurses too. Plus that paramedic was right, he really would just get in the way. 

“Damn it,” he hissed through his clenched jaw and gritted teeth. “Eren, please, please be ok.” 

He could feel his knees begin to buckle, but he used what little strength he could muster to keep himself upright. 

Right now he wanted to collapse onto the floor and just... sob. He had no idea what was happening in there. He didn’t know whether Eren was stable, whether he was on the road to recovery, if he was fucking dying. It was overwhelming, and Levi was biting down on his bottom lip so hard that he was close to drawing blood. 

How could he go on like this? How could he just keep waiting here in suspense? 

All of a sudden, Levi almost lost his footing as the door he was pressed against began to open. He jumped backwards, eyes wide with fear as he was met by a tall, dark haired man in nurses scrubs. The man looked just as shocked to see Levi standing there like a deer in headlights. His freckled face twisted into a frown as he closed the door behind him, blocking Levi’s view. 

“What are you doing here? You shouldn’t be here.” Despite Levi’s expectations, the man before him didn’t seem angry. His demeanour was more akin to concerned. 

“I... I uhh...” Levi stumbled over his words. This wasn’t good. He knew that he wasn’t supposed to be snooping around here. He had been specifically told to wait in the designated waiting area. In the eyes of this nurse, he could’ve looked like he was causing trouble. “I-It’s my boyfriend... my boyfriend is in that room and he... he might be dying in there. I just wanted... I just wanted to be close to him. I’m just scared...” 

“Woah, woah, slow down. It’s ok.” Levi looked at the man’s name badge. 

“Marco,” The man’s frown faded, his expression changing to one of compassion. “I’m sorry, I know I shouldn’t be here right now... but Eren is...” 

The man interrupted him, his eyes kind and understanding. “I understand how hard this is for you, sir. You’re bound to be upset right now, but you can’t be here.” 

“I know, I know that. I just couldn’t help it. How is he? How is Eren doing in there? Is he ok?” Levi knew that he was behaving erratically, but at this point he didn’t know how else he could react. There was no way for him to control himself at a time like this. 

Marco’s brow furrowed, and he looked down at Levi with pity. “He’s hanging in there,” he replied with a subtle, blank smile. “Look, I’ll be honest with you. Hospital protocol requires me to report anybody skulking around to security, but I’m not going to do that. I understand that you’re worried right now, but please, please go and sit in the waiting room. Other doctors may not be a kind as I am, and I wouldn’t want you getting in any sort of trouble.” 

Levi mostly blanked out the rest of the nurses words. He let them sit in his head, but he didn’t take the time to process them just yet. Eren was... hanging in there. He was hanging in there, that meant that he was still alive, right? It was a vague statement, but Levi knew that it was probably all he could get right now. Marco seemed like a kind man, but he was still a professional. He wasn’t going to disclose information that he had no right to disclose. Not to anyone, not even to Levi. 

Slowly, Marco’s words began to sink in. Levi knew that he was caught, but he also knew that he was lucky to be out of trouble. 

“Ok,” Levi sighed, defeated. “I’ll go to the waiting room... Thank you.” 

 

 

 

Levi wasn’t sure how long he’d been sat in that waiting room. Could it have been hours? Days? He hadn’t even considered the concept of time until just now, as he noticed the sky beginning to bruise with deep purple. 

The fact that Eren had been in there for so long couldn’t possibly be a good sign, and more than anything Levi was just feeling sick. Sick with worry, sick in the head, sick to his stomach. His head was buried deep into his hands, elbows pressing down jarringly into his knees, causing a tingling and then numbness in his legs. He didn’t care though, he didn’t even think about it. All he could think about was Eren. Was he in pain right now? Was he suffering? Was he awake, or still unconscious? 

The questions were dizzying at first, but as the time passed by Levi simply grew used to the level of uncertainty. He’d accepted the situation, he knew that there was a chance that Eren may not leave this hospital alive, but accepting that fact didn’t make the reality any easier. 

It hurt, it fucking BURNED. 

His flame was lying in a hospital bed, dwindling, in severe danger of going out completely. All Levi could do was wait and hope. It was completely demoralising. 

All of a sudden, a hand came to rest upon his shoulder. It was warm, and Levi gasped as he shot his head up to meet the same pair of kind, brown eyes that he’d seen before. The nurse smiled at him, and he spoke softly. 

“Sir, Eren is awake now. Would you like to go and see him?” 

Levi’s eyes widened, pupils dilating. 

“W-What? He's awake? You mean he’s ok?” Levi’s voice was raspy, he hadn’t spoken for hours. Hearing the news that Eren was still alive jolted Levi up to his feet, and a warm, white sensation washed over his body. 

“He’s a fighter that one,” Marco smiled sweetly. “It wasn’t looking too promising at first, but he pulled through. I must warn you though, he's highly medicated at the moment. He may be a little... delirious. He might not make a lot of sense right now.” 

“Fuck,” Levi breathed, the word falling from his lips almost silently as a wide smile spread across his face. “Thank you, t-thank you so much...” 

Marco’s responding smile was so genuine that it made Levi’s heart melt. Levi had only known him for a matter of hours, but he could already tell that this was a good man. A man who truly appreciated helping others. Suddenly Levi felt a little happier, knowing that Marco was there with Eren in that room. 

“Come on,” Marco told him. “I’ll lead you through to Eren’s room.” 

 

 

 

Marco left Levi at the door, giving him the room so that he and Eren could share a moment alone. 

The second that Levi set his eyes on Eren, he broke out into the biggest, most heartfelt smile that had ever graced his face. Tears began to well in his eyes, stinging them sweetly. 

Eren was sitting upwards, resting against the propped up part of his bed. His skin looked pale and pasty, his hair knotted and wild. He looked weak, tired, but when his head turned to look at Levi, the man noticed that his eyes were still as bright and beautiful as ever. 

Levi ran toward him, wrapping Eren up in his arms, holding him like he would never let go. Levi could feel the warmth of his body, smell the scent of his musk. It was perfect, all of it was perfect. Eren was alive, he was ok, and now Levi had the chance to make things right between them. 

“Eren,” Levi began to sob. He couldn’t hold back the tears if he tried. “I’m sorry, I’m sorry, I’m so sorry.” 

More than anything, Eren was just stunned. He looked down at Levi’s face pressed against his shoulder, and although he was confused he couldn’t help but smile. 

“So this is what happens after you die.” 

He spoke slowly, and his voice was dreamy and soft. 

“W-what?” Levi looked up at Eren, taking his head off his shoulder and cradling his face in his delicate hands. “Eren no, you’re not dead.” 

“I can’t believe it,” Eren’s smile was infectious, and Levi couldn’t help but grin wildly at the sight of Eren’s face painted with happiness. It was almost to good to be true. Just hours earlier Eren had been distraught enough to want to end his own life, and now here he was, smiling like an angel. “I always wondered what it would be like, but why are you here? Are you dead too?” 

Eren’s dazzling eyes were glazed over, and Levi realised that he wasn’t going to get any sense out of the boy whilst he was this heavily medicated. 

Levi simply smiled up at him, pressing a soft kiss to his lips. “Don’t worry Eren, I promise that I’m never going to leave you again.” 

Eren melted between his hands, his face nuzzling into Levi’s soft palm. “I’m so glad.” 

The moment was tender, but it was soon interrupted. A doctor walked into the room, followed by Marco. The nurse smiled sweetly when he saw the lover’s embrace. 

Levi stood up straight, his hands aching as they left Eren’s face. 

“Sorry to interrupt,” the doctor told them, “but I have a few things that we need to discuss.” 

Levi nodded at him, his hand snaking behind him to rest on Eren’s thigh. He wasn’t ready to break contact with him just yet. 

“Are you his next of kin?” The doctor asked. 

Levi thought for a moment, he supposed that at this point, he actually was. “I’m his boyfriend,” Levi told him proudly. “We own a house together.” 

“I see,” the doctor flicked through some papers that he held loosely in his hand, his gaze drifting up to look Levi directly in the eyes. He looked serious, and all of a sudden Levi felt nervous. “I suppose that’ll have to do.” 

Eren stared on in the background, watching the dancing patterns and pretty colours on the wall rather than paying attention to the conversation. His hand travelled down to rest on top of Levi’s. He was so happy that he was here, even if he wasn’t real, even if this version of him only existed as an illusion in the afterlife, he still felt happy. 

The doctor continued: “As you probably already know, Eren’s overdose was most likely due to a suicide attempt.” 

Levi’s heart jumped in his chest. “Yes,” he admitted, guilt beginning to rise in his gut. “Sadly that was the case.” 

The doctor’s expression didn’t change, but the tone of his voice did when he saw the sadness in Levi’s eyes. He spoke more softly, trying his best to bring some level of comfort to the broken looking man in front of him. “I’ll be honest with you, sir. We’d like to have Eren institutionalised for a time. I understand that this may be relatively distressing for you, but we’d like to do some tests and make sure that he gets...”

“Yes!” 

Levi startled himself with his abrupt interruption. He was loud, clear, and he knew exactly what he wanted. He wanted Eren to get some proper help. He deserved it, he needed to get better and this was the perfect opportunity for him to do so. Maybe it would mean that he couldn’t see Eren for a little while, but he was perfectly willing to deal with that if it meant that Eren would get the help he needed. Besides, Levi would be able to take care of him when he was ready to come home. To their home, together.

“I have some papers for you to look through and sign,” the doctor told him. “And some information for you to read before you make your decision. Don’t feel like you need to decide straight away.” 

“Thank you,” Levi smiled. “But I’ve already made my decision. Eren needs your help.” 

Eren was still delirious, but in the midst of his own hallucinations he squeezed Levi’s hand in his own.


	52. Healing him Softly

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Does anyone remember chapter 31. TheDemigodDetre on Deviantart remembers chapter 31 *wink wink* Check out this fanart you will LOVE IT! https://sta.sh/0z1svhvpyc9  
> Also he's writing a super good fic in the Voltron fandom (Ao3 name: turntechTestified) called Side effects of Death May Include:   
> It's super hot and there's art for that too and skdjvhsdkbcksdjd,cv hhhhhhhhhh

[HOT CHAPTER 31 FANART](https://sta.sh/0z1svhvpyc9)

[The artist's own fic <3 ](https://archiveofourown.org/works/18686626/chapters/44316061)

 

It had been a long, gruelling two months for Eren. Well, in the beginning anyway.

When he finally came down from his medication high he couldn’t believe his eyes. Not only was he still alive, but against what he truly believed Levi was right there by his side. All he could do for a full twelve hours straight was cry and thank god that he’d managed to survive his suicide attempt.

He was so sure that Levi was through with him, so sure that he was never going to see him again, yet here he was. Still the same perfect man that he'd known and loved for all these years.

Eren had objected profusely to being institutionalised. He’d only just got Levi back, he couldn’t possibly spend another block of time away from him! He’d whined and cried and begged, but through all of his protests Levi had managed to convince him to go. He had been stern, and serious, and Eren just couldn't say no to him when he hit him with those beautiful, worried puppy-dog eyes. Levi practically had to tear himself away from Eren’s iron grip, but eventually, with one last loving smile, Eren was taken away to the place that he would call home until... further notice.

It was like hell at first.

Everyone seemed menacing and terrifying. They all looked at him like he was trash, at least that's what he thought, all except for one kind, elderly woman who seemed to take a shine to him. She was a lovely person, but Eren was still scared and lost, and the only person that had the ability to comfort him would’ve been Levi himself. He wasn't here though, and Eren knew that he had to try and survive in this unfamiliar environment all on his own. Eren was a little closed off at first, but over time it seemed that this woman became someone that he could confide in from time to time. Eren told her all about Levi, and in turn she told him all about her late-husband as well. It seemed that the two had a lot in common, but she was just one kind soul in a sea of monsters.

The doctors kept pumping him with different pills and medications. The side effects were pretty nasty too. He would feel dizzy and sick, and his low moods pretty much kept him from telling his therapists anything at all. They were strangers after all.

Eren was used to Petra, he was comfortable with her.

With Petra he felt as if he could bend the truth any way that he wanted and she would so often just believe him without batting an eyelid. These doctor’s were different. Their persistence scared the crap out of him, and all that he wanted was to see Levi, to be comforted by him, to hold him in his arms.

The first month or so was terrible, but after a little while the medication began to work its magic.

The side effects were hounding, but none the less his head was clearer than ever. The people around him seemed less strange, and in time he found himself engaging in conversation with some of them. He even had some things in common with many of them, and the more that he opened up, the more he realised that the other patients weren’t so bad after all. Sometimes he would spend his nights socialising, watching Game of Thrones with people that he soon began to consider friends, playing tennis with some of the fitter patients in the institution. As much as he missed Levi, and as often as his mind would wander back to thoughts of his love, he actually began to start enjoying himself... just a little.

Once the doctors saw a little progress there were even a few days that Levi was allowed to visit him. Those were always the best days.

The two would sit out in the vast garden together, often lounging on deck chairs and chatting about Eren’s progress. Levi always seemed interested in how he was doing, and once they'd grown tired of talking about Eren's treatment it would almost seem like old times again. They would lounge around and drink just like they always did at home. There was strictly no alcohol allowed on the premises, but that didn't really stop them from pretending. Levi would bring some fresh fruit juice or pink lemonade, accompanied by sweet, juicy pieces of fruit that he balanced on the side of the glasses for decoration.

Those days were blissful, but Eren felt that there was something missing.

Levi seemed a little more distant. When he visited he would always tell Eren that he loved him before he left, but he would never kiss him. He hugged him like you would hug a relative, and not once did Levi reach for his hand to hold. At first Eren was terrified, thinking that Levi had lost interest in him completely. In time however, his head was clearer. He began to think a little more rationally, and he came up with a theory in his mind that worked for him.

His love was probably just being cautious.

Eren had attempted suicide, he'd terrified Levi, and the man was intelligent enough to know when to pull back. After all, the main resulting symptom of his mental illness was 'apparently' his attachment to Levi. It only made sense that they had a little space whilst he healed. That being said, he appreciated Levi’s every visit more than the man could ever know. He yearned to be with Levi again. He missed waking up next to him in the morning, he longed to feel the touch of Levi’s soft lips against his own. The thought of being back in that big, beautiful house with him gave him the eruption of determination that he needed.

He needed to get better, he needed to heal for Levi’s sake... for his own sake.

He began opening up to his therapists, being more truthful with them than he ever was with Petra. Eren was so used to lying to people that it was ingrained into his very nature, but these therapists didn't miss a beat. He was completely truthful with them for the most part. He told them all about his family traumas, all about his feelings for Levi. Of course, he missed out a few details, only the illegal things... but that didn't really matter. He didn't want to get into trouble. 

Then slowly, slowly, things began to fall into place a little more.

It turned out that Eren had a lot of pent up emotions and grudges that he wasn’t even aware of, and eventually he actually began looking forward to his daily sessions with the doctors.

He could feel the mental improvement like a light in his brain, breaking through his barriers and shining out for the whole world to see. He felt happier, less angry, more sure of himself. Of course, that came with its fair share of guilt for the things he had done, but with the way things were going he couldn't really complain.

His treatment was far from over, but there had been enough change for Eren’s primary doctor so call him in for a ‘special meeting’. Eren knew what that meant, everyone knew what that meant around there. Finally, after all that time, Eren was being booked in for discharge.

This was not without conditions however. Eren had to attend private therapy sessions at least twice a week, and he had to stay on his medication. Eventually he would be able to lower his dosage, but it was strictly forbidden without his doctor’s absolute consent. Levi had been briefed on the rules too, and Eren knew just how strict that man could be.

Only time would tell how it would go, but Eren had been given a date. One week from now, just one more week and he would be back in Levi’s arms. Just one more week to say a final goodbye to his new friends, and to soak up as much stability as he could before re-entering Levi's life.

 

 

“Eren,” Eren opened his eyes slowly. He’d fallen asleep yet again, and here was Mrs. Wilson waking him up just as she always did.

“Mrs. Wilson, I fell asleep again didn’t I?”

The elderly woman in front of him smiled fondly, watching as Eren raised his sleepy head, hair sticking up wildly in random places. “Don’t worry about that dear,” she told him, coming to sit on the end of Eren’s bed. She was old, and frail, and so small that Eren could barely feel her weight on the mattress. “It’s just a side effect of your medication honey, it’ll pass.”

Eren groaned, sitting up to rest his back against the headboard of his bed. His eyes adjusted to the bright, afternoon light, and his vision came into focus slowly until he could see Mrs. Wilson’s sharp, brown eyes looking straight at him. She looked a little nervous. It was strange, Eren had never seen her look this way before.

“How long will this damn tiredness last?” Eren asked, still feeling dizzy from being woken up so suddenly. Getting used to his new medication had been a real challenge. The side effects were abysmal. He was still tired and dizzy every time he woke up, it would fade after half an hour or so, but it still sucked. The doctors had promised him that it would only last for a couple more months, but each day here felt like a fucking year sometimes. It was utterly exhausting.

The only thing that kept him sane during the adjustment process was the one friend that he’d bonded with during his first week or so in the institution: Mrs. Wilson.

She was old as hell, maybe seventy or eighty, but she had the spirit of a young lioness within her. She’d taken Eren under her wing the day that he’d arrived at the institution, and without her guidance Eren wasn’t sure that he could’ve survived there. The first time that she’d noticed him, she told him that he had her late-husband’s eyes, and she had been attached to him ever since.

“Don’t worry lovely,” she smiled at him sweetly. “When I started on the meds I only felt like shit for about two or three months. You’re a tough lad my dear, you’ll power through.”

Eren looked at her, studying her expression carefully. She usually had a a certain brightness in her eyes, but something about her today seemed a little off. “Mrs. Wilson... is everything ok today? You seem a little... drained.”

The women looked up at him, eyes sunk into her wrinkled face. Thick, grey strands of hair fell past her shoulders, and her delicate hand twirled them between her shaking fingers. There was a moment of silence, but when the woman looked up into Eren’s dazzling green eyes she found comfort, and she spoke. “Eren... do you know why I asked you to call me Mrs. Wilson, rather than my first name?”

Eren cocked his head to the side. “Honestly, I never thought to ask.”

“Of course you didn’t, lovely.” She breathed unevenly, she sounded strained. The woman's smile was empty, but her eyes were fixed on Eren’s own intensely. “It’s because... well it’s because it reminds me of him. It’s his surname, my George’s.”

“Your husband’s surname,” Eren stated. His heart began to sink. Mrs. Wilson had told Eren all about her husband, the one who had passed away only a year earlier. He could see torrents of pain in her eyes whenever she mentioned his name, and he knew from personal experience that she loved him deeply.

“That’s right,” she told him, the corner of her lips turning up into a lopsided grin. “You know Eren honey, you remind me so much of him. He used to be just as handsome as you are you know, and his eyes were just as brilliant as yours.”

“You’re too kind to me.”

Mrs. Wilson’s smile faded, her gaze falling down to her knees.

“Eren my lovely, can I ask you a question?”

“Of course you can, anything.”

“Your man... Levi is it?”

“Yes.” Eren couldn’t help but smile at the mention of Levi’s name, and the woman noticed. Somehow Eren’s reaction brightened her own expression.

“I apologise if I’m speaking out of term here but, do you really love him? I mean, is he... the one?”

Eren raised a brow at her, for a second he felt mildly frustrated. Of course he loved Levi. Levi was his one and only, his entire world, surely after listening to Eren drone on and on about the man for weeks on end she would’ve figured that out by now. “I love him more than anything in the entire world. He’s everything to me.”

The woman’s posture relaxed visibly, her shoulders sinking, her back slouching comfortably. “Good,” she said, inching herself closer to Eren until she could clasp the boy’s hand in her own. "I can tell by the look in your eyes that you really do mean that."

Her stare was intense, and Eren could swear that she was looking straight into his soul.

“Are you ok?” Eren asked, concern growing on his tired face.

“Perfectly fine my lovely,” she smiled widely, flashing her straight, white false teeth. “Will you please follow me to my room. I have something important that I want you to have before you leave.”

"Uhh.. ok." 

Eren was a little confused, but most of all he was curious. Mrs. Wilson wanted to give him something, and by the way she was reacting it was likely something important to her. What the hell could it be? ... Well there was only one way to find out. 

 

 

After two whole months, today was finally the day that Eren could leave the institution.

He couldn’t lie to himself, this was almost the best that he had ever felt in his life; rivalled only by the time that Levi first told him that he loved him.

He felt amazing, and he was ready to share all of his few found happiness and health with Levi. He wanted to make his love proud of how far he’d come, but there was still that nagging thought in the back of his head that asked him ‘what if you’ve been wrong all this time?’

What if his theory about Levi’s distance was wrong? What if Levi really had lost interest in him? Maybe Eren had scared him away, perhaps Levi felt like he had an obligation to see Eren getting better, but nothing more.

It hurt to think about, but Eren had to accept the fact: Levi had the right to change his mind at any point. After all, Eren had been nothing but trouble from the very beginning.

Maybe if Levi turned him away after all of this, that would be his divine punishment for all that he'd done.

Sunlight trickled through the branches of the trees, and wind whistled through the air. Eren glared out of the window, sipping on a fresh cup of tea as he waited. He could feel the excitement rising in his chest, but the worry balanced it out. For some reason, he was a little nervous to be going home again.

The doctors had assured him that they believed him to be ready, but what if they were wrong? Eren shuddered at the thought of himself spiralling back into that dark place that he’d clawed his way out of, but then suddenly he heard the crackling of tyres against gravel, and saw the familiar gleam of Levi’s immaculately clean car pulling into the driveway. “Levi,” he whispered out loud.

A smile that rivalled the brightness of the sun shone on his face.

It was time to go home.

After some final goodbyes, Eren made his way to the front door, swung it open. The mild, spring air was warm against the skin on his bare arms, the gentle, morning sunlight glistened in his wide eyes. He could feel each thin hair on his skin standing up on end as his skin rose into tiny bumps, the excitement coursing through his body made his heart pound too.

Levi was leaning against the hood of his car, his knee angled so he could rest one foot on the numberplate. His grey eyes were focused on the lightly clouded sky, and the man didn’t even notice when Eren stepped out of the front door. It wasn’t until the crackling sound of Eren’s suitcase dragging on the ground alerted him that he finally looked up to meet Eren’s smiling face.

The man’s stomach did somersaults, his heart soaring as he watched Eren approach him. He wanted to run toward him, to meet him halfway, but his body was seemingly paralysed.

Eren looked stunning, for lack of a better word. Perhaps breathtaking was more fitting, Levi wasn’t entirely sure. For the first time in a long time he actually looked like himself again. His hair was pulled back into his signature bun, and he was sporting one of those damn revealing tank tops that Levi fawned over back at Sakura. More than that though, more than anything, he looked healthy, and happy. The glow had returned to his tanned skin, and his eyes held so much life that seemed immortal.

In this moment Levi swore that he’d never seem anything so beautiful in his life.

“Eren,” as the boy approached, Levi’s body was blessed with a sudden rush of adrenaline. He launched himself into Eren’s wanting arms, pressing his face into the boy’s chest. Levi could hear the beating of Eren's heart by his ear, a bittersweet reminder of what he had almost lost.

“I’ve missed you so much.” Eren’s voice was music, and Levi squeezed the boy’s torso in-between his arms. He felt a little smaller, as if he’d lost weight, but that didn’t worry Levi too much. He was right here in his arms after all, that was all that really mattered.

Levi choked back a sob that was threatening him, pressing his lips against Eren’s hard chest over and over. “I’ve missed you so, so much.”

 

 

The car ride home was filled with music, Eren had requested that it be that way.

The boy’s mind was racing, and he needed to try and calm himself before the talk that he knew he needed to have with Levi when they got home. He had so much that he needed to say, and so much that he needed to know. Without a doubt the most important thing to him right now was finding out exactly where he stood with Levi. He wanted Levi more than the world, but if that feeling wasn’t reciprocated then there was no point. He didn’t want Levi’s pity, or his guilt, only his unquestionable, unrestricted love.

A part of him truly believed that that’s what Levi wanted as well, but another part thought that Levi was only staying with him out of fear that he might make an attempt on his own life again.

He couldn’t have that.

That wasn’t the life that he wanted for Levi, or himself.

Eren and Levi sat in silence as they drove, Eren’s eyes watching as trees and fields blurred past.

Suddenly Levi’s voice broke the silence. “You know, I really love this song.”

This song? Eren hadn’t even been paying attention, but when he finally did he couldn’t help but feel ambivalent. The song I Don't Want To Set The World On Fire by The Ink Spots was drifting out through the speakers, and it brought Eren right back to the last time that he’d heard it: Sat outside Levi’s house, numbed by the cold, listening to his love’s sweet voice singing along. A lot had changed since then, but Levi hadn’t. He was still just as perfect as the day they’d met.

“I love this song too,” Eren replied after a moment of thought, turning to look at the cute, focused expression that Levi pulled whilst driving. “It reminds me of you.”

Levi’s lips turned up into a soft smile, and the two fell back into silence.

 

 

The drive was quite pleasant, despite the silence. Eren loved Levi’s taste in music. It was kind of outdated, but each song that he’d handpicked was brimming with soul and emotion. It was exquisite, just like Levi himself was, and every moment that Eren spent in his presence he fell just a little bit deeper in love with him.

After pulling into the driveway Levi dashed out of the car first. Eren watched him curiously as he ran round to his side of the car and opened his door for him like a damn chaufer.

Eren chuckled lovingly, “You didn’t have to...”

“I wanted to,” Levi told him, his gaze drifting upwards as Eren got out of the car and towered above him. “C’mon, it’s a special day you brat let me look after you.”

“Hmm,” Eren stepped forward and ran his hand through the longer, softer part of Levi’s stylish undercut. “I haven’t heard you call me that for a long time. I’ve kinda missed it actually.”

“Tch,” Levi rolled his eyes, but he couldn’t fight back the widening of his smile. “Well you still are one.”

Eren’s lips parted as he gazed down at Levi’s beauty, his cheeks flushing with warmth as he did so. “Yeah I know, don’t pretend that you don’t like it though.”

“Now you’re pushing it.”

“Am I though?”

Levi couldn’t help but smirk up at Eren’s cheeky face, revelling in the glow of his eyes. “...No.”

Levi tore his eyes away from Eren’s face, still grinning as paced round to pop open the boot of his car. Eren’s suitcase was lying on its side in the back. It was almost as big as he was, but Levi was determined not have Eren not lift a finger tonight. It was his special day, and he’d been through a hell of a lot! The least he deserved was some damn relaxation, and Levi was going to give that to him if it fucking killed him.

He reached down, grasping at the handle and tugging the heavy case with one arm. It didn’t budge.

He sighed, grabbing it with two hands, pulling it upwards with all of his might.

“Hey, what are you doing?” Eren asked, suddenly concerned when he saw what his love was doing.

“What does it look like I’m doing?” Levi grumbled, his arms now trembling from the full weight of the case. “I’m getting your suitcase, obviously.”

“L-Levi, please don’t do that. You’ll...”

Damn this shit was heavy! Levi managed to lift it from the boot, but now the weight of it had locked his elbows into place, and he wasn’t sure that he could move. What the hell did he have in this damn thing anyway? Dumbbells? Fucking bricks? It was much too heavy for Levi, and he made a mental note of telling himself to start going to the gym. For now however, he was determined to let Eren have the stress free, relaxing day that he deserved.

Agh! Why was this shitty case so heavy? Levi decided to try and lift it up further so his tensed elbows would stop tightening painfully, and damn he tried, but as he raised his arms, stepping backwards to widen his stance, he just kind of...

“Levi!”

The man lost his footing, but before he even knew what was happening Eren was right there beside him. He caught Levi with one arm, taking charge of the heavy suitcase with the other. Levi was left pressed against Eren’s body, completely stunned.

“I told you that case would be too heavy for you Levi, please be more careful!” Eren’s voice was dripping with nervous concern.

“W-What the fuck are you keeping in that damn thing anyway, huh?” Levi spat, turning away so Eren couldn’t see the embarrassment on his face. “You got a fucking elephant in that thing?”

“It’s just clothes and toiletries, Levi.” Eren grinned down at him, and Levi could practically feel the burn of his smug face behind his back.

“Oh, so you really expect me to believe I’m THAT weak that I can’t even carry clothing and shampoo?” Eren simply looked on at him in silence, his bottom lip quivering as he tried to hold back an obvious laugh. There was no way he could tell Levi what was nestled down in the depths of that suitcase, not yet anyway.

“It’s not funny Eren!” Levi tried to sound stern, but his voice was already breaking into subtle laughter. Eren’s amusement was just too damn infectious. “You damn ass! Always showing off because you’re so strong. I swear one of these days I’m just gonna...” Levi cut himself off with his own giggling, but he made a gesture by slamming his fist into his own open palm, and Eren couldn’t help but grin wildly.

The boy stepped forward, suitcase lifted in his single hand effortlessly as he swooped down to plant a tender kiss on Levi’s lips.

It had been so long since he’d been able to kiss Levi, but the man kissed him back without hesitation. It felt like pure fire, unbridled electricity. 

“I really love you.” Eren spoke softly against his parted lips.

“I really love you too.”

 

 

Levi only sulked a little as Eren carried his own suitcase to the door. It was fine though, Levi was able to hold the door open for him and watch his eyes light up in wonder when he took in the sight before him.

“Levi... this is...”

Levi knew that he would react this way, in fact, Eren would've reacted this way even if Levi had simply bought him a cake or some flowers. That wasn't the man;s style though, he needed Eren;s welcome to be immaculate. To say that Levi went all out would’ve been an understatement. Not only were there banners reading ‘Welcome Home’ decorating the halls, helium balloons tied into neat bunches in the corners, but Eren could also smell something utterly delicious that suggested Levi had been cooking for him too.

The boy turned to see Levi looking up at him with the most genuine smile that he’d ever seen. That perfect man, he'd actually put so much effort into welcoming Eren home, and Eren hadn't been expecting a single thing.

"You didn't have to do all this just for me," Eren breathed, eyes still sparkling with excitement and joy and all things wonderful. 

Levi knew that he didn't have to, but he wanted to celebrate Eren's release more than anything tonight. Not only for Eren, but for himself too. Both of them had been through hell to get to the point they were at now, and god damn the two hadn't been able to have any romance for a long time. Levi knew that they would have to take things slowly, very slowly, but there was nothing wrong with an innocent bottle of wine, a good meal and a celebration.

“Welcome home Eren.”


	53. I've Made My Decision

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Ok so I'm soooooo sorry it's taken me so long to update! I'm right in the middle of exam season so thanks for all being patient <3 Love you all!

“One second, love!” Eren called as he ran up the stairs, suitcase in hand. It was obvious that Levi had made a real effort in welcoming him back home today, but there was one thing that he needed to do before he could truly relax and appreciate the man’s efforts. 

He made his way up to one of the bedrooms, slamming his suitcase down onto the double bed. The springs creaked quietly as the weight of it sunk down into the bouncy mattress. Eren’s eyes scanned the room. It looked pretty desolate, not very well decorated just yet, and definitely not lived in. 

This would do. 

Eren unzipped the case, throwing the top open and rummaging through his clothing until his hand knocked against hard metal. He pushed t-shirts and trousers off of the heavy, metal object, holding it up in front of him. 

In his hands was, a thick, metal safe. Levi had already coined on that his case was much heavier than it should’ve been, but Eren couldn’t show him his friend’s most prized possession just yet. Her eyes had been welling up with tears when she gave it to him, her expression hopeful, practically pleading with Eren to take the safe and put it to good use before she passed away. Of course, he couldn’t refuse the woman’s offer. 

Eren spied a wardrobe at the far end of the room, and he flung the door open carelessly. There was a shelf at the top, one that he knew Levi wouldn’t be able to reach, one just like the shelf that he hid his box of Levi memorabilia in the past. 

He let out a heavy breath. “Sorry, Levi.” 

Eren didn’t want to have to hide anything from Levi again, but at this point he couldn’t quite help it. The boy shook the negative thoughts out of his head, this was completely different from before. This safe had to stay hidden for a little while, and Eren knew that for now he could push it to the back of the wardrobe, to the back of his mind, and it could stay that way for quite some time. He didn’t want to keep any secrets from Levi ever again, but this was a secret worth keeping for now. 

“Hey, Eren!” The boy heard Levi calling him from downstairs, and he could feel the butterflies in his gut awaken, dancing in unison at the sound of the man’s inviting voice. 

“Coming!” 

 

 

Eren ran back down the stairs like a child on Christmas morning, his hair bounced as his feet hit every second step. 

It was exciting, knowing that he would be able to spend the entire day with Levi. It had been so long since they’d been able to spend a whole day together. At the institution they’d been restricted by visiting hours, nosey staff, over-protective rules. Now that they were back in the comfort of his own home… well, ‘their’ own home, they had the freedom to do anything that they wanted. Eren still had his doubts, his insecurities, the little voices in his head that told him Levi didn't want him any more. Eren wasn't sure if Levi was only doing any of this out of a sense of duty, but for now he thought he would put those ideas to the back if his mind.

The boy walked into the front room to find Levi setting the table. He was busying away, adjusting the knives and forks, making sure to angle them just right. Eren couldn't help but watch him for a while, grinning at the sight of him squinting his eyes as he made sure the two wine glasses were sat directly across from each other. He was always so particular, and Eren thought it was adorable. 

There were candles lit in the centre of the table, quiet music drifting out through a set of speakers that Eren hadn’t seen before. The curtains were drawn, blocking out the intrusive daylight and setting a soft ambience. 

Eren let out a gentle cough, and Levi jumped as he turned around to face him with wide eyes. 

“Eren!” He frowned, placing a hand on his hip, giving himself that sassy flair that Eren loved so much. “Don't go sneaking around like that, you scared the crap out of me!”

“Sorry,” Eren smiled, standing up straight. “You're just so cute when you get all particular like that. I couldn’t help it.” 

“Tch,” Levi feigned annoyance, but Eren noticed the gentle blush on his face and the sparkle in his eyes. “Sit down you annoying brat, I’ve made us lunch.” 

Eren complied, flashing his dazzling, white teeth at Levi as he took his seat. 

“I’ll get the food from the oven,” the man smiled. 

He didn’t even have to bend down to place a sweet kiss on top of Eren’s head as he walked past. 

 

 

Levi really was a brilliant cook. Not only had he made the best lasagne that Eren had tried in his life, but he’d also made his own homemade garlic bread. Apparently ‘shop bought garlic bread was trash,’ and after tasting Levi’s Eren was beginning to agree with him. To be fair, even if it tasted awful Eren would still have loved it simply because Levi himself had made it, but with Levi’s cooking skill he didn’t have to pretend. 

Eren had polished off the meal in ten minutes flat. Levi knew how much the boy would normally eat, so he’d made extra just to be sure. God damn he was glad that he did. Eren went for a second portion, and Levi grinned as he watched the boy wolfing down his food from the corner of his eye, whilst he himself ate his own portion daintily and slowly. It took Levi a little longer to finish, but once he had, he cleared away the plates and brought in the bottle of champagne that he’d saved for this exact moment. 

Eren’s hand moved toward the bottle the moment that Levi had set it down, but Levi wasn’t having that. 

“Get your damn hand away from that champagne right now!” He hissed, slapping the boy’s hand away in an instant. 

Eren pulled his hand back, placing it behind his neck and threading it into his hair. “Aww, c’mon!” He grinned, a cheeky look on his face that told Levi he was going to be trouble. “I haven’t been able to drink alcohol for weeks, don’t blame me for being a little eager.” 

“That’s not what I meant,” Levi told him, snatching the bottle protectively. “Feel free to drink as much as you want, but its like I told you, I don’t want you to lift a finger today. I’ll be pouring your drinks for you.” 

“Levi, you don’t need to...”

“But I’m still going to.” Levi looked Eren straight in the eyes, and the boy couldn’t help but melt when he saw the happiness painted onto his perfect face. “If you need anything, anything at all today. Just ask me.” 

“You’re really sweet,” Eren told him, cocking his head to the side and letting loose strands of hair fall over his eyes. 

“Only to you.” Levi smirked, fiddling with the metal bindings on the champagne bottle. The bottle looked huge in his tiny hands, and once he'd removed the metal it looked like he was struggling with the cork. He tried to twist it, but the thing didn't budge. 

“Levi, do you want me to...?”

“No!” He yelled, seeming to surprise himself with the harshness of his own tone. “Ahh, s-sorry, I mean, no thank you Eren. I’ve got it.” 

Levi twisted the cork further. He had a corkscrew in the kitchen, but the fact that he was having difficulty opening it with his hands only made him more determined to try harder.

“Are you sure? You look like you’re...”

Levi shifted his position slightly, putting as much strength as he could into twisting the cork. It just wasn’t moving though! That was until...

“Fuck!”

The cork left the bottle with a loud pop, and Levi’s body jolted in response. Torrents of the fizzing liquid bubbled out from the neck, spilling over Levi’s shirt, down onto his trousers, even dripping onto his shoes. There was still a good amount left in the bottle, but in hindsight maybe trying to open the bottle over his lap wasn’t his brightest idea. He cursed at himself under his breath. 

“Levi!” Eren gasped, instinctively scanning the room for something to clean up the mess. He knew that Levi hated being messy, and champagne would only make him sticky and bothered. Eren spied a kitchen towel on the table, the one that Levi had used to carry the hot lasagne tray into the room. He grabbed it without thinking, leaping out of his chair and rushing over to his love to dab him dry. 

Eren was at Levi’s side in a flash, kneeling down and padding the towel over his chest. 

“R-really Eren, you don’t need to...”

“But you’re all wet! Don’t worry Levi, this will only take a second.” 

Levi tried to protest again, but Eren began to run the towel down his drenched chest, moving further and further down as he tried to soak up the spilled liquid. His hands moved in delicate circles at first, but as he continued he became rougher, harder, messier with his movements. 

“Eren... you’re...”

“Just give me a minute.” 

Eren tried to dry the stain on Levi’s trousers, but it was no use. The towel was getting too wet, and no matter how hard he rubbed he was only moving the liquid around at this point. Shit, if he would’ve just insisted that he open the bottle instead then this wouldn’t have happened. Levi looked amazing today, and now his outfit was all sticky and wet. Levi's breathing was getting a little heavier. Eren noticed, and came to the conclusion that this must've been incredibly frustrating for the man. He needed to sort this out more quickly.

“Eren... r-really... you’re...”

“Ahh damn, this is no use!” Eren huffed, raising an eyebrow and looking at the wetness that was slowly turning Levi’s shirt transparent. “I’ll go and get another towel. Maybe just take off your shirt and I’ll get you a fresh one, or...”

“Eren!” Eren felt a hand tugging and the back of his head, and suddenly his face was pulled upwards to meet Levi’s steely eyes. Eren was speechless when he saw Levi’s expression. His face was flushed and red, his bottom lip quivering in that familiar fashion that he’d seen so many times before. His eyes were glazed over in awe, but his expression was one of pure frustration. 

“L-Levi...”

“Eren, I know you’re only trying to help here, but for the love of god can you watch your hand!” 

Eren looked down, stilling his hand and suddenly realising where it was. He’d been so focused on cleaning Levi up that he hadn’t even noticed that he’d been rubbing the man’s crotch for the past minute. 

Without thinking he flattened his palm against the towel, letting the hardening length underneath it press against him. 

Levi was getting turned on, there was no doubt about that. It was only natural after all, it'd been months since he and Eren had been able to be intimate. 

Eren raised his brow, shooting a sinful smirk up at Levi. The man’s face grew even redder in response. 

“I mean,” Eren put a little more pressure, stroking his hand teasingly over Levi’s crotch. “Is it really a bad thing?” 

Levi could feel his heart pounding, and for a moment he hesitated. It had been so long since he’d had sex, so long since he’d had Eren right there in front of him, wanting him. It seemed like it had been so long that he’d seen Eren’s lustful face that he forgotten just how hot he was. He was already down there, on his knees, those big, emerald eyes hypnotising him. All he had to do was reach out and take him, take his body, take his soul. God fucking damn, it would be so good if he could just...

“Eren,” Levi shot up in an instant, almost stumbling over his chair as he did so. Eren looked up at him in bewilderment. “I can’t, I... it’s too soon.”

“What?” Eren stayed crouched, looking straight up into Levi’s eyes with that damn adorable, innocent look in his face. “What do you mean too soon? Why would you say that?” 

“You’ve just got home. You need to rest and heal, you don’t need this right now.” Levi drew in a deep, shaky breath as he took another step backwards, scared that if he felt the boy’s touch one more time he might change his mind. 

“Don’t need this?” Eren brought himself up to his feet, towering over Levi as he stood. His eyes were glistening, his face twisted with confusion and fear. “I’ve been away from you for months, right now I need this more than ever. I just want to be close to you, that’s all.” 

“I ... I...” Levi wasn’t sure what to say. Of course he wanted to be close with Eren, but the two had only been back home for an hour or so, and already they were falling back into old habits. 

“So... this is it then?” Eren said, all expression draining from his face, all tension being released from his body. He stared at Levi with dead eyes, and it was as if a light had gone out within him. 

“What?”

“This is how you feel then. You don’t... want me any more.” 

“Eren, what are you saying?” 

Eren paced backwards until he’d reached his seat, falling back into it with a soft thump. “I was afraid this would happen, but I promised myself I would let you go... if that was what you wanted.” 

Levi was slightly taken aback by those words. “Eren...”

“I just want you to be happy,” Eren rested his elbows on the table, his head in his open palms. “That’s all I want, and I’m... I’m sorry that I couldn’t be the one to make you happy in the end.” 

Eren closed his eyes, pushing his face into his palms and hoping that the pressure would stop the impending tears. Of course Levi wouldn't want him now, not after all that he'd put him through. He was just a hindrance on Levi's life after all, just some annoying kid who's pushed his way into this perfect man's life and fucked it up big-time. The reality of the feeling of rejection began to sink in, and he wanted to break down. He couldn't though, not right now. He needed to be strong right now, for Levi. 

Suddenly he felt a cool hand on his shoulder, then a chest against his back, and all of a sudden he was completely wrapped up in the warmth of Levi’s love. 

He could feel the man’s lips ghosting by the side of his neck, feel his breath in his ear as he spoke. 

“Eren, you’re wrong.” 

Eren opened his eyes, lifting his head to stare at the space in front of him. He tried to speak, but all that left him was a choked back sob. 

“Eren, I love you. I love you so much, and I promise that I’m not going anywhere.” Levi’s words sunk into his skin like sunlight, seeping into his veins, powering him to speak. 

“Then why don’t you want me any more?” Was all he could muster. 

Levi sighed, he knew how much Eren was hurting right now, and he knew that the process of recovery would be long and arduous. That being said however, Levi was more than willing to wait out the storm. If Eren was caught up in a hurricane, then he would be throw himself right in there with him, hold him through every twist and turn and tumble. Take him into his arms and keep him there until every last drop of sadness had washed away, and his flame was burning brighter than ever. 

“I do want you,” Levi told him, patting Eren on the shoulder and beckoning him to turn around. He spun reluctantly to meet Levi’s stern expression and steely eyes. “Let’s be real here I always want your body Eren, but what I want more than that is for you to be happy, and safe.” 

“I... I don’t understand...” 

Eren looked so lost in this moment, but if the boy didn’t know what direction to go right now, Levi would be his compass. 

“That’s why I can’t have sex with you right now, Eren.” Levi knew that he wasn’t being clear enough, but Eren’s saddened face urged him to keep talking, even if he was rambling a little. “Look at the way you reacted just then, to something so minor too. You’ve been through so much Eren, we’ve been through so much together, and you’re still in the process of healing right now.” 

“So... it’s not because you don’t want me any more?” Eren sniffled, but his eyes grew brighter as he spoke, letting the realisation of Levi’s pure love filter into his brain. 

“Of course I still want you,” Levi grinned softly, and Eren mirrored him. “But when you’re like this, I can’t help but feel like I’m taking advantage of you. You’re still sick Eren, and I need to make sure that you’re ok before starting up anything sexual again. I’m sorry if it doesn’t make much sense to you, but it’s just how I feel... so could you please wait for me?” 

Eren gave his love a lopsided grin, bringing a large hand up to cup Levi’s cheek. “If you said that you never wanted to have sex with me again then that would be ok, as long as you still wanna be by my side.” 

Levi moved his face further into Eren’s hand, enjoying the warmth of his skin. He’d missed Eren’s warmth so much. It was by far his favourite comfort. “I will always want you, Eren.” 

The smile faded from Eren’s lips for a moment, and he looked down to his knees. His head tilted forwards, his hair shifting in turn. “I honestly don’t know why you’d want me Levi. I’ve been nothing but trouble and hard work from the very beginning.” 

Levi smiled at Eren, and it was so pure and beautiful that the boy audibly sighed. Levi patted Eren’s thigh, as if asking for permission to sit in his lap. Of course, Eren agreed, smiling like a damn fool as Levi sat on his thigh, wrapping both arms around his neck. “Well you’re still a brat,” he jested, pressing his forehead against Eren’s. “But you’re my brat. I can’t really explain it, but I’ve fallen for you completely. I’ve made my decision... well I guess I’ve known it for a lot longer than I let on, but... I want to be with you Eren, forever.” 

Eren’s strong arms came to wrap around Levi’s slender frame. His fingers dug into him softly, his eyes gazing straight into Levi’s, wide and searching for truth. “Do you really mean that?” 

“I do, when I almost lost you before, I...” Levi bit down on his bottom lip, silencing himself instantly. “No, let’s not talk about that right now.” 

Eren pulled back a little, giving Levi a better view of his face so the man could see how serious he was when he said: “No Levi, let’s.”

Levi hesitated, but he had so much to say. “Well...” he spoke, and once that first word had left him there was only a brief moment before the flood gates opened, and he spilled his truth like a waterfall from between his lips. “You scared me, you scared the shit out of me Eren.”

Eren hung his head, “yeah, I know.” 

“Don’t get me wrong, you shouldn’t feel guilty. I just want you to understand. There was a moment where I really felt that I’d lost you, and right then I just felt my whole fucking world crumble down around me.”

“Levi,” Eren took his thumb, gently wiping away a tear that Levi didn’t even know he had on his face. 

“I’m sorry, It’s just that you mean so much to me. The thought of actually losing you for real terrifies me, it really does. Somewhere in the back of my mind I always believed that we'd be together again someday, but then when I came back for you and found you on the floor like that, I just...” Levi squeezed his eyes, fighting back tears. That memory was painful, and he still held onto so much guilt for what happened that day. 

“My love,” Eren told him, taking Levi’s face into both hands. “Don’t hold back, let it out.” 

Levi began to tremble, but there was no use in fighting his feelings any more. He flung his arms around Eren’s neck, sobbing into the boy’s shoulder. In turn Eren held him so tightly that Levi felt like he could never be hurt again. It was like Eren was holding all of his broken pieces together, and Levi was doing the same for him in return. 

“I’m sorry,” Levi cried, his tears drenching Eren’s soft skin. “I’m sorry that I l-left you... I’m sorry that I fucked up so badly and I couldn’t see how much you n-needed me. But I promise Eren, I promise that I’ll never, ever leave you like that again.”

Eren could feel his own tears stinging at his eyes, rolling down his cheeks silently as he entwined Levi’s delicate frame in his arms. He could feel the pounding of his heart, and the coolness of his tears against his shoulder. He could smell the sweet coconut of his hair, even the weight of Levi’s small body on his thigh was comforting. 

“I promise I’ll never scare you like that again,” he breathed into Levi’s ear. 

“I’m gonna be here for you through all of this, you hear me?” Levi choked, raising his head to look into Eren’s dazzling eyes. There had been so many moments in the past where he’d looked at Eren and thought that moment was the most beautiful time he'd ever seen the boy, but somehow he always managed to out-do himself. He wore his jubilant smile like a damn crown, and Levi wanted nothing more than to be with Eren until the end of time. “You’re mine Jaeger, do you hear me? You’re mine.” 

Eren moved forward slowly, bringing his face closer to Levi’s. Their eyes were locked, and Eren tilted his head to the side as if he were asking for permission, but Levi was the one to close the gap.

Their lips touched, moving against each other rhythmically. Hands were threaded through hair, fingers stroking down backs and tongues touching slightly, daringly. 

“And you’re mine.” Eren told him in return. 

All of a sudden they couldn’t kiss any longer, they couldn’t kiss because they were both smiling too widely. They simply sat there, bloodshot eyes meeting each other over and over before they would close for a moment of subtle, heartfelt laughter. 

It was as if the flames in their hearts were burning as one, just as they always should have.

“I’ll be honest,” Eren breathed, that playful smirk falling back onto his face like it belonged there. “Fourteen year old Eren would have just about shit his pants if he could see us right now.” 

“Tch,” Levi huffed, slapping his love’s arm lightheartedly. “You’re such an ass!” He grinned like a moron, and Eren couldn’t help but smile back at him. 

This was perfect. This was what he had dreamed of for so long, it was finally coming true. It hadn’t been what he’d expected, not by a longshot, but somehow Levi had managed to make things even more wonderful than he could’ve ever dreamed! He knew every part of Eren, every dark secret, every flaw, and he still loved him. Eren didn’t need to lie, he didn’t need to manipulate or play games any more. He was finally safe, he finally had a home, and Levi truly loved him with all of his icy, little heart. 

“You know,” Eren said. “You’re the best thing that’s ever happened to me.” 

The faintest hint of a blush crept up onto Levi’s pale face. “If you’d told me a few months back that I’d be saying this I’d’ve thought you were fucking crazy but... you’re the best thing that’s happened to me too. I really mean that.” 

Levi swung himself off Eren’s lap, slowly pacing back over to his side of the table and placing his hand back on the bottle of champagne. 

“Anyway, enough with all this sentimental crap. Let’s not let this go to waste, it was expensive!”

“Ok,” Eren beamed, “but only if you let me go and fetch you some new clothes, you’re still all wet.” 

Levi frowned, but he was too happy for it to last long. “Fine, but that’s all you’re doing for the rest of the night. I still want you to relax you know.” 

“Yeah, yeah. Whatever you say.” 

Eren stood up, turned his back and left the room.

“Actually can you get my Pyjamas?” Levi called up after Eren as he ran up the stairs. “And get yourself some too, I bought us matching pairs.”


	54. Twin Flames

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Sorry this has taken me so long :) I've just finished all my exams which is amazing, so I've spent the day in the library finishing this :) Its been a ride guys, thank you for all the support <3

Three Years Later:

 

The clock struck twelve, and the students in Levi’s class all began to pack away their belongings before the man had even finished talking. The professor let out a sigh, but he finished his sentence with a subtle smile and watched as the kids let the tension fall from their shoulders, and stood up to leave. 

Levi still hated first year classes, although now he was at Oxford, not as much. Of course, the kids were just as annoying as they’d always been, but these days Levi was finding it increasingly difficult to stay angry at them. They may have been hard work, but as of recent Levi had begun to notice the sparkle in their eyes, the way that their faces lit up when they finally began to understand the complicated stuff. Behind every immature exterior was a wonderful, complex person, and Levi would be lying to himself if he said that he wasn’t honoured to be able to guide them. 

The students filtered out one by one, chattering and laughing as they made their way out of the door. Levi straightened the collar of his shirt, running a hand through his raven hair to neaten it. He could feel a twinge of excitement light up in his chest as he watched the door, and sure enough, once the last student had left: there he was. 

“Professor.” 

Standing in the doorway, tall frame leaning carelessly against the open door. Bright eyes, wild hair, and a smirk on his face that made Levi’s poor heart skip a beat. 

“Eren,” Levi grinned back at him, shooting him a sinful wink as he strode into the room. 

Levi met Eren halfway, standing on his tiptoes to plant a gentle kiss on his soft lips. Eren smiled as their lips touched, wrapping an arm around him to place his large, warm hand on the small of Levi’s back. 

“Tch,” Levi huffed, shaking him off. “Don’t push it kid, what if the students see us?” 

Eren raised an eyebrow as he slid his hand back down to his side, but Levi felt his skin tingle as the comforting warmth left with it. “Kid? Really?” Eren looked skeptical, and Levi felt a faint blush prickling the skin on his cheeks. “I’m twenty-three now. Plus, you really shouldn’t be talking that way to one of Oxford University’s most esteemed personal assistants.” 

Eren held his head high, all the while grinning down at his love playfully. Levi spat out a laugh, rocking back on his hip and looking up into Eren’s loving eyes. “Just because crazy Hange liked you so much that she wanted you to follow her around doesn’t mean you’re esteemed.” 

“Well I didn’t even need to finish my degree and she still wanted me,” Eren grinned.

“Must’ve just sensed that you had experience in following people around,” Levi smirked. Eren scoffed, ruffling his hand through Levi’s neat hair and earning himself an annoyed groan as Levi tried to pry him away from his head. Eren managed to snake his hands back around Levi’s waist again in the process, sliding them up under his arms and pulling the professor up onto his tiptoes to mash their lips together passionately. 

“I’m gonna get you back for that little quip,” Eren spoke against his lips, delighting in the way that Levi put no effort into his attempt to escape his grasp. Instead he simply let his body go limp, the sensation of Eren’s lips against his own spurring his own lips to move in tandem. 

“I swear to fuck Jaeger, you’re gonna be the death of me.” 

“I can’t help it,” Eren breathed, a hand slipping down to cup the cheek of Levi’s ass. “You’re just so cute.” 

“Fuck you, Jaeger!” 

All of a sudden the two were interrupted by a gentle coughing coming from the doorway, and Eren dropped Levi like a lead balloon as he spun to catch a pair of awkward blue eyes looking in his direction. 

“Oh shit, Armin!” Eren’s worried expression melted into a smile when he saw his friend standing in the doorway, his eyes darting about frantically as if he didn’t know where to look. “It’s just you, you scared me!” 

Levi’s head peered round from behind Eren’s larger frame. “Arlert,” he greeted him blankly, still blushing from the embarrassment of being caught. “How are your studies going? I hear you’re doing a masters degree now.” 

Armin straightened his back, eyes widening as he addressed Levi as his superior. He was every bit as scared of him now as he was back in high school, and it showed. “Y-Yes sir!” He stammered, face flushing red as a traffic light. “It’s going very well, th-thank you, sir.” 

Levi raised a brow, and Eren couldn’t help but let out a humoured snort at his nervous friend. “You don’t have to call him ‘sir’ Armin, he’s my boyfriend.” 

“B-but, he’s still a professor!” Armin argued, clutching the thick, hardback book in his arm more tightly as he spoke. 

Levi stepped out, softening his posture in an attempt to seem a little less intimidating to the poor guy. It didn’t work. “He’s right you know. I’m Eren’s boyfriend first, and a professor second. Just call me Levi.” 

“R-right,” Armin rubbed at the back of his neck awkwardly, forcing a slight smile. “Well anyway… Levi… I’m sorry to interrupt, but me and Eren were going to meet some friends at the cafeteria.” 

Eren grinned at his friend, “yeah, yeah. Just gimme a minute ok?” 

“Sure,” Armin smiled back at him, “I’ll wait in the corridor.” 

Eren turned back to Levi, that troublesome, devilish smirk painted into his face once again. He wore it so well that it hurt. “He’ll get used to you one of these days,” Eren told him, pacing back over to his love and placing a hand at the side of his head. He stroked Levi’s cheek with his thumb, and Levi let the faintest of smiles form on his lips. 

“Doesn’t matter anyway,” Levi told him. “Now get lost Eren, don’t keep your friend waiting.” 

Eren frowned, and Levi couldn’t help but feel that he looked a bit nervous. “I wish I could just stay here with you all day instead.” He tried to pull Levi back into another kiss, but Levi took a step backwards. 

“What did we talk about earlier, Eren?” 

Eren slumped his shoulders, pouting his lips in an attempt to be cute. “It’s just as important to spend time with my friends as it is to spend time with you.” Eren recited it effortlessly. Levi had made him repeat it many times in the past few weeks, and as much as Eren wanted to cling to Levi like a lost puppy, he was beginning to appreciate the company of his friends more and more these days. 

“That’s right,” Levi said sternly, not wavering in the seriousness of his expression no matter how much he wanted to. 

Eren’s pout faded into his signature, cheerful expression in no time. “Fineeeeee,” he groaned, turning to leave. “I know you’ve got company soon anyway, so I’ll see you later on tonight, ok? You’re still up for tonight, right? The… the date…” 

“Tch,” Levi huffed, folding his arms across his chest. “You know that’s the third time you’ve asked me today, right?” 

Eren pushed on defiantly, “that doesn’t answer my question though.” 

“Ugh!” Levi rolled his eyes. “Yes Eren, I’m still going to the festival with you tonight, ok? I promise. Now stop being so annoying and go hang out with Armin and the others.” 

“Ok,” Eren shot Levi a wink, and Levi grinned at him like an idiot. There was something about Eren that made him react that way, and as much as he loved it he knew he would die of embarrassment if anybody else saw him letting down his barriers like that. “I’ll see you tonight, Levi! Bye!” 

Eren began walking away, and Levi’s heart swelled with happiness as he watched him. Sometimes it was hard to believe that this damn kid was actually his. “Hey, Eren.” Levi called after him. 

Eren turned, strands of long hair flicking out around his face as he did so. He was beginning to look more and more angelic these days, but Levi reminded himself that the kid was actually a demon. 

“I love you.” 

Eren’s eyes glistened, his bottom lip quivering as he fought to contain his pride at hearing those words. “I love you too.” 

“That’s soooooo cute!” An annoyingly familiar voice cried out. Eren almost jumped out of his skin, and Levi slapped his forehead with his palm as he tried to fight off the impending doom that came with the feeling of humiliation. 

Hange popped her head round the corner, smiling like a maniac, eyes wide with wonder as she looked from Eren to Levi. 

“H-Hange,” Eren said, voice shrill and high pitched as his eccentric boss entered the room. “Sorry, I-I shouldn’t be saying things like that at work.” 

“Oh nonsense!” Hange cried, walking over and locking her arm with Eren’s. “You two are my favourite couple ya know! Say what you want, I really don’t mind.” 

Levi was still cringing from the fact that now not only Armin, but Hange had also seen him acting like a mushy, loved up fool today. He greeted the woman with a chaste smile, hoping that if he didn’t speak she would go away. 

“By the way Levi, I’ve brought you something cool!” 

Levi snorted, “Cool? Well then surely you don’t mean…” 

“Here he is!” Hange practically yelled, beckoning to the door with an outstretched arm as Erwin Smith walked into the room with a mixture of confusion and concern on his face. 

Levi wasn’t sure what expression was on his own face in this moment, but he could feel the excitement building in his chest as his eyes locked with Erwin’s. Eren was looking at his love with awe, and so Levi figured he must’ve been smiling like a damn idiot. He didn’t care though. It’d been three years since he’d seen his best friend in person, and there was nothing that could dim the triumph that he felt in this moment. After all this time, he’d finally managed to land Erwin a job at Oxford, and now here he was. The man looked as if he hadn’t slept for days, but at least he’d made it here unscathed. 

“Levi,” the concern drained from his face in an instant, and before he knew it Levi was by his side, wrapping an arm around him. Erwin ruffled Levi’s hair, looking down at him with love in his eyes. “It’s been way too long! I don’t remember you being this… uhh… affectionate the last time I saw you.” 

“Fuck off,” Levi cursed, pulling away with a dumb, lopsided grin on his face. “I’ve missed you dumbass.” 

Erwin let out a quiet chuckle, “I’ve missed you too.” 

Erwin’s kind, blue eyes drifted up to meet Eren’s, and for a moment he was a little taken aback. “Eren?” He sputtered, stepping over to shake his hand awkwardly. It had been a long time since he’d seen Eren, and somehow the kid had managed to get even taller. His hair was longer, his eyes brighter, and most of all he looked happier than Erwin had ever seen him before. “It’s good to see you again.” 

“Sure is,” Eren told him, shaking his hand much more vigorously than Erwin had expected. “But I’ve gotta go now actually. I’ll catch you around though!”

“Sure thing,” Erwin said, his voice still blank and confused from the time he’d spent with Hange moments prior. 

Eren turned to leave, but he stopped in the doorway for a quick moment before he did so. “Levi, don’t forget about the festival tonight, ok?” 

“What? I already told you, I…” Before Levi could finish his sentence, Eren was gone. 

 

Levi lead Erwin through to the staff room, letting the man slump down onto the sofa as Levi brewed the two some tea. The man had spent the entire day travelling to England, but now that he was here Levi didn’t really feel like letting him sleep. He wanted to talk, he wanted a catch up, but most of all there was something that had been niggling at the back of his mind all day that he absolutely needed to talk about. His stomach had been doing somersaults all day just thinking about it, his mind had been clouded, his gut wrenching from the mixture of excitement and pure terror. 

At a time like this Levi wanted nothing more than to vent to somebody who he knew would listen, and care. So no matter how tired Erwin was, he would just have to hold out for a little longer. 

Levi brought the tea over to the table, perching on the sofa next to Erwin. It was a good thing that the linguistics staff room was empty right now, Levi just knew that if the other professors were here they would be full of questions and introductions. He didn't have time for that now. 

“You look tired as shit,” Levi told him, taking a tentative sip from his tea. The hot water almost burned his tongue, but he didn’t react to it. 

Erwin laughed, “thanks buddy.” 

“Anytime.” 

The two sat in relative silence for a moment before Erwin spoke again. 

“Wanna hear some gossip?” His lips twisted into a playful grin, and Levi suddenly felt a little uneasy.

“I don’t know, do I?” 

Erwin picked up his mug, taking a gulp from the burning liquid without so much as a gentle flinch. “Believe me, you do. It’s about Rod Reiss.” 

Levi pushed himself back further onto the sofa, eyes glowing with curiosity. “Well fuck! Ok I guess I do.” 

Erwin placed his mug back down on the table, looking directly at his best friend with glee as he told him: “The bastard got fired!” 

Levi almost choked on his drink. “No way! Really?” 

“Yup,” Erwin looked smug as he spoke, “and you’ll never guess who spearheaded the campaign against him.” 

“Go on...” 

“His own daughter!” 

Levi was genuinely shocked. “You mean Historia? That annoying little blonde one?” 

Erwin chuckled, “Oh c’mon Levi, don’t tell me you’re still jealous of her.” His tone was teasing, and Levi could feel his face heating up. 

“W-What? No! I just think she’s annoying, that’s all!” He lied, unconvincingly. 

Erwin didn’t ever try to hold back his amusement at the situation. “Little miss steal-your-man,” he jested, ruffling his hand in Levi’s hair as the smaller man slapped his hands in protest. 

“Piss off!” Levi snarled, “I’m not jealous, ok? Just tell me what happened with Reiss!” 

“Ok, Ok,” Erwin was still grinning like a moron, but he continued with his story. “Well it turns out that his daughter started dating a girl at some point, and Reiss hated it!” 

“A girl, huh?” Levi thought back to his days at Sakura, to the annoying, dark haired girl who’d punched Eren in the face at the Winter Ball. It was probably her, that little bitch. 

“Yeah, he tried making up stories to get Historia’s girlfriend kicked off the course and the kid just snapped. She outed him to the entire university board. You should’ve seen his face when he was packing up his office! It was priceless!” 

Levi didn’t expect to feel such a level of closure from hearing the news, but it was as if a wound inside him had been healed. “No kidding,” he said, trying to suppress the happiness beginning to build within. “I wish I was there to see that.” 

“He’s a moron anyway, good riddance.” 

“He... sure is.” 

Erwin looked over at Levi and his smile faded. Levi didn’t look upset per-se, but something about his demeanour was definitely off. His shoulders were slumped, his eyes darting around nervously. His hands were bunched together on his lap, and the whitening of his knuckles told Erwin that his friend was clenching them together harshly. 

“Are you ok?” Erwin asked him, his tone softening as he looked across at Levi worriedly. “You seem a little off.” 

“I’m not off... I’m just...” Levi wasn’t sure what to say. 

Of course there was nothing wrong with him, in fact he was incredibly happy. Everything was going so well that he felt like he was in a dream, but he couldn’t shake the thoughts that had been clawing at his brain all day. Those thoughts made his hands shake, made his chest feel tight. “Ok I’m gonna tell you something, but you’ve got to promise not to tell anybody!” 

Erwin leant forward in his seat, readying himself to listen. “Ok,” He told him, placing a hand on Levi’s knee supportively. “I’m listening.” 

 

The sunset colours were draining from the sky by the time that Levi finally arrived home that day. He sighed deeply, kicking off his shoes in the hallway and shimmying his coat off his back. The air was getting colder, the street lights flickering on one by one as darkness enveloped the scenery. 

“Levi!” Eren called him the moment that he heard the door shut. “That you?” 

“It’s me,” Levi called back to him, rubbing his hand over his eyes as they adjusted to the bright hallway lights. “Where are you?” 

“I’m upstairs, come here please!” 

Levi sighed, dropping his briefcase down onto the floor carelessly. He looked into the mirror on the wall, frowning at the bags under his eyes. Great, just fucking typical. The one day that he wanted to look his best and he looked like he was on a fucking drug comedown. Fan-fucking-tastic. “Coming,” he called up to Eren as he ascended the stairs.

“Eren, for fucks sake,” Levi grimaced, rolling his eyes at the sight on the bed before him. Eren was standing up straight, arranging clothing neatly on the bed for Levi to wear. Usually that wouldn’t be a big deal, but Levi had already spotted two shirts, a jumper, a coat, a scarf, thermals to go under his trousers, and there was still more that he couldn’t see yet. “I’m not wearing all of that.” 

“But Levi,” Eren sulked, dragging yet another shirt out of the wardrobe as he complained. “It’ll be cold tonight, you need to wrap up warm so you don’t get ill!”

Levi raised his brow, letting out a deflated breath as he rummaged through the clothing on the bed. “Yes Eren I understand that but THREE shirts? I don’t need all these thermals and... did you get me FOUR pairs of socks?” 

“I don’t want you to be cold!” Eren told him, turning back to look at Levi with those bright, puppy-dog eyes. 

“Yeah, but Eren this is excessive.” Levi’s expression was blank as he held up a pyjama top that Eren had expected him to wear underneath his regular clothes. “I’ll look like a fucking marshmallow if I wear all of this at once.” 

Eren sauntered over to him, kissing him quickly on the forehead. “My cute little marshmallow,” he beamed. Levi couldn’t help but grin at that. 

“You’re sweet and all, but I won’t be comfortable in all of this damn clothing.” He waded through the pile, picking out the items of clothing that he would actually consider wearing. 

“I want to watch the entire fireworks display at the festival tonight.” Eren told him, holding out a thick, green jumper for Levi to take. The man took it hesitantly, pursing his lips as he held it up to his body. It was much too big, but he knew that Eren secretly loved him in oversized clothing. “I don’t want you to be cold, I want you to have a good time. It’s important to me.” 

“I promise I’ll wrap up warm, ok?” Levi assured him, tucking the jumper under his arm. “But please, for the love of god, at least let me pick my own clothing.”

Eren grinned at him, “will you at least wear the cute jumper?” he asked. 

Levi smirked, grasping the pyjama top from the bed at throwing it at Eren’s face. “Fine, I’ll wear the damn jumper.” 

Eren pulled the fabric off his face, but by the time he had his vision back Levi was already leaving the room. 

Eren’s breathing deepened as he watched Levi go, his eyes lingering on the man’s tiny feet as they padded against the soft carpet. He looked so cute, he always did, but that just made the thought of what he was going to do that night even more terrifying. 

The past three years had been difficult to say the least. When the two weren’t in therapy they were at work, when they were finished with work they were often so tired that they’d cook a microwave meal and fall asleep. The relationship was far from the whirlwind fling that it had once been, but it was real, and it was beautiful. The two had built a home together, they’d built a life, and it was more than Eren could ever have hoped for. 

Every night they would fall asleep in each other’s arms, every morning Eren would wake a grumpy, irritable Levi up with a freshly brewed coffee and watch the annoyance drain from his face as he sipped it. It wasn’t just bliss, not just heaven, it was something more now. It was as if the two had merged together as one, through the good times and the bad, and that’s when Eren knew that it was time. 

He took one last look in the doorway, making sure that Levi was completely out of sight before he turned to face the tall wardrobe. His hand found the top shelf, long fingers rummaging around past boxes and fabrics until his skin hit cold metal. Bingo! He hooked his fingers round the back of it, dragging it forward until he could clasp it with both hands. 

It’d been years since Eren had laid eyes on this safe, and now here he was holding it once again. Mrs.Wilson had passed away around a year prior, and Eren had been a little devastated that she hadn’t been able to see her most prized possession being put to good use. He typed in the code, her husband’s birthday, and the safe clicked open. Eren was still a little dubious as to why she insisted on keeping it in such a secure safe, but when he opened the door and looked upon the contents, he suddenly understood. 

Inside the safe, nestled in a soft, velvet stand, was a gold ring. Eren’s eyes lit up when he saw it. The outside was studded with a glistening diamond, the inside inscribed with Arabic writing that he couldn’t read. Mrs. Wilson had told him that it read ‘twin flame,’ and Eren could think of no better words to describe himself and his love. It truly was stunning, and small enough to fit Levi’s delicate finger, but would he accept it? 

Tonight was going to be the culmination of so many years of hard work. He’d gone from loving Levi in secret, to loving him from afar, to loving him in the comfort of their own shared home. Now it was finally time to take things to the next, and final level. 

Eren loved Levi with his whole being. That man had saved him in more ways than one, and now it was time to prove how much that meant to him. He wanted more than Levi’s love now, he wanted his true commitment, he wanted his surname. In the back of his mind however, he couldn’t help but wonder if Levi really wanted the same. 

When they’d first started their romance it had been all danger and excitement and sex, but now it was tame and structured. Sure, they would still fuck like rabbits at any given chance, but they had other responsibilities now. They were so domesticated, and that made Eren happier than ever, but was that really enough for a man like Levi? He deserved the world, and nothing scared Eren more than the though that he couldn’t give it to him. 

No matter his worries however, no matter his animosities, Eren was still going to try. He was going to propose to Levi tonight at the festival, and it was going to be magical no matter what. 

“Hey, Eren!” Levi called him from downstairs. Eren gasped and slamming the safe door shut with a loud bang. 

“Yeah?” He yelled back, heart still pounding from the initial jump. 

“Can you reach the cereal from the top shelf for me please? I’m hungry.” 

Eren let out a shaky breath, re-opening the safe and taking the ring out. He looked at it intensely, twirling it around in his fingers for a while. He hoped Levi would like it as much as he did, he hoped it would be everything he deserved and more. With one final sigh, Eren took the ring and slotted it into his pocket, making sure it was buried as deep down as it could go. 

“Coming!” 

 

Levi’s car pulled up in the staff car park at the university, tyres smooth against the tarmac. Eren switched off the radio, giving Levi a concerned glance as he did so. 

“Are you sure you’re ok Levi?” He asked cautiously, “you seem a little quiet.” 

“I’m fine,” Levi half snapped back at him, averting his eyes from Eren’s face and instead staring at the steering wheel. “I’m just... thinking a lot. That’s all.”

Eren had noticed his heavy, rhythmic breathing. He’d noticed the way that his hands were trembling, and the worried expression on his face for the entire car journey. There was no doubt about it, Levi was feeling anxious. For some reason though, he wasn’t giving Eren any insight into his mind right now. 

Perhaps he just needed a moment to think? Maybe he was just a little tired from work or something? Whatever it was though, Eren didn't need any of it on the day that he was going to propose! 

“Ok,” Eren told him, opening his car door and stepping outside. The cool air hit his face immediately, and he was glad that he’d told Levi to wrap up warm that night. The boy jogged round to open Levi’s car door for him, taking his delicate hand as he stepped out into the breezy night air. He nuzzled his face deeper into his scarf, but his expression stayed as blank as ever. Eren placed two warm hands on his shoulders, looking straight into his eyes as he told him: “But if you want to talk about anything at any point, let me know, ok?” 

Levi nodded in agreement, and the two made their way toward the bright lights of the festival. 

 

 

As the two approached the lights got brighter, and the noises got louder. The jaunty melody of energetic music drifted through the air, the bustle of students and teachers alike enveloping the two lovers in a crowd of smiling faces. The usually desolate field in the centre of the university gardens was brimming with little stalls, dotted with fairly lights. There were carnival rides at the far side, teeming with drunken students either throwing up at the sides, or laughing at those who were. The sky was almost clear, studded with white stars and fogged with the occasional grey cloud. It was perfect weather for the firework display, and for that Eren was thankful. 

Eren looked down to his side, and his heart fluttered. Levi’s eyes were poking out from beneath his black scarf, his body wrapped up in his big, green jumper and his hair mostly hidden under a knitted bobble hat. Eren had already had his moment of awe when he first saw the outfit, but now it seemed that he had that same shock each time he looked at him. He looked so adorable that Eren wanted to scream! He wanted to pick him up and kiss him until he couldn’t breathe! He wanted Levi to wrap his slender legs around his torso so he could hold him up, he wanted to pin him against the nearest wall and... wait no.

Now was NOT the time for that line of thinking. 

Not yet anyway.

“Hey, Levi.” Eren had to speak a little louder to be heard over the crowd, but Levi could still hear him just fine. “Want some candy-floss? There’s a stall over there selling it.” 

Levi narrowed his eyes, looking up at Eren as if he were judging him for making such a ridiculous request. Nonetheless he said: “I mean yeah obviously I want some candy-floss, who wouldn’t?” 

Eren chuckled at the response. It was so very Levi, however there still seemed to be something off in his tone tonight. It was a setback for sure, but Eren was determined to make this night memorable and fun for his love. He’d keep trying, no matter what. “Sweet, let’s go!” 

 

It was an hour and a half into the festival, and Levi still seemed anxious as hell. Eren was starting to worry now, big time! It wasn’t like him to be this anxious for this long, not unless he was on a plane, or unless something was really niggling at his mind. No matter how hard Eren pried however, Levi was absolutely insistent that he was fine. 

That being said, it didn’t change his attitude. He’d been breathing more heavily than Eren had ever seen on the ferris wheel, his bottom lip had been quivering and his hands trembling when he tried to aim at the bullseyes with a water gun. Eren had to step in and win the prize for him, and Levi looked at him like he'd just killed his first born when he handed Levi a huge, pink rabbit plush, but that just made Eren laugh even more than usual. Someone with an attitude like Levi’s just look so cute carrying something like that around, and as much as Levi pretended to hate it he clasped onto it like it was made of gold. 

In the current moment, the two were sat on the grass eating strawberry ice cream, engaging in a heated debate about which of the Power-puff girls would make the best adopted daughter. (Levi was so wrong, who in their right mind would pick Buttercup? Obviously Bubbles was the right choice.) Then all of a sudden, an announcement over the tannoy stopped them both in their tracks. 

“Sooooo I hope you’re all having a great time out there guys and girls! Haha! Woo!” 

“Holy fuck,” Levi groaned, face-palming instantly when he recognised the voice.

“Is that....?” Eren didn’t even need a response. Hange began speaking over the tannoy again, even louder this time.

“You’ve got fifteen minutes before the big fireworks display! It’s gonna be great so... uhh... yeah, make sure you keep your uhh... eyes to the skies tonight folks!” Hange’s announcement trailed off into nothingness, and everyone at the festival was sure that they could hear someone mumbling ‘you’re not supposed to be in here’ in the background.

“Shit,” Levi cursed, suddenly jumping up to his feet. 

Eren cocked his head to the side, “what’s up, Levi?” 

All of a sudden that worried look was etched back into his face, and his eyes were darting around frantically. Levi stuck his hand out “come with me, quickly.” 

“What?” No, no no no no no! Eren had sat the two down on this patch of grass for a reason! This was going to be spot with the best view of the fireworks display, he’d made absolute sure of it! He’d had Armin map out the area, made sure that he calculated the exact best spot that there was to propose! It was beautiful there, right there! It wasn’t too loud, not too quiet. There wasn’t enough light pollution from the stalls to affect the view of the stars, everything was just right. Why did Levi want to leave right now? “B-but Levi... the display... this is the best spot to...”

“Eren, just come with me please!” He snapped, trying, but failing to drag Eren up to his feet. Eren leapt up on his own instead, but his face was the picture of bewilderment. “It’s important,” Levi assured him. 

Eren was dubious, and he was beginning to panic. His proposal plan was going right down the drain! But Levi did seem... worried. Against his better judgement, he followed Levi, his heart punching at his ribcage the entire way.

Levi lead Eren inside, shutting down each of the boy’s protests with quick precision as they almost ran up the stairs of the building. 

“What? Why are we going upstairs?” Eren yelled, feeling the frustration in his gut building to an unhealthy level. 

“If you just shut up and follow me then you’ll find out,” Levi growled back. 

Their hands were intertwined as Levi pulled a sulking Eren along behind him, taking him up flights of stairs until they reached a solemn, metal door at the very top. 

“The roof?” Eren asked, puzzled. “Don’t you need a key to get onto the...? Oh.” 

Levi produced the key from his pocket, sticking it into the door and twisting. He kicked the door open with force, checking his watch in the process. Eren watched as he sighed in relief, and then all of a sudden the realisation hit him. 

Levi had found an even better spot to watch the fireworks than he had! 

Eren stepped out into the cool air, eyes dazzling as they reflected the cornucopia of stars above them. There was absolutely nothing to block their view from all the way up here. Right here there would be nothing to separate the two from the crackling fireworks, or the calming night sky. This was way better than the grass! But of course it would be, this was somewhere that Levi himself had chosen. It was bound to be perfect. 

He could do it here, he could definitely make the proposal here. This place was so perfect that Eren was annoyed that it had never crossed his mind before. It didn’t matter now though, they were here now, and there was nothing to stop him. 

“Levi, I...” Eren went to speak, but the sight of Levi’s face paralysed him before he could. His scarf was pushed down, revealing the delicate features of his face. His bobble hat was resting on the floor beside the rabbit plush, and the wind was whipping up beautiful strands of raven hair like a tornado around his head. His eyes were full of wonder, but they weren’t looking at the stars, nor the flashing lights of the festival, they were looking straight at him as if he was the only thing in the world. 

“Eren...” 

Eren could feel the hairs on his body standing on end, his muscles tensing as he gulped in a deep breath of fresh air. The moonlight shone in Levi’s eyes, and just as he had been so many times before, Eren was stunned by his beauty. 

In the distance, they could hear the announcement being made, the one that told the gathered crowds that the fireworks display was about to begin. Shit, Eren needed to act fast. He wanted the fireworks to be shooting colours around them when he popped the question. He wanted the memory to be picturesque in Levi’s memory until the day he died. 

“Levi, I just want you to know that...”

“Eren, I can’t believe Im saying this but...”

Both men spoke at the same time, both stopping in unison. 

Shit! Eren didn’t want to interrupt Levi, but he wanted this proposal to be perfect. It needed to be now! It HAD to be now! Eren felt for the ring in his front pocket, clasping his palm around it tightly as he retrieved it. 

“Please Levi, just let me speak now. This is important!” 

“Tch!” Levi’s eyes widened with a mixture of shock and fear. “I can guarantee you Jaeger, what I’m about to say is WAY more important. Just trust me on this one.” 

No, no, no! Eren could feel his mouth going dry, his head beginning to spin wildly. “Just listen, please! Levi... uhh... I’m struggling to find the right words right now, but I just want you to know that you're the best thing that’s ever happened to me, and I...” 

“Oh, no way! You’d better not be about to say what I think you are!” Levi spat. Eren looked at his expression, and there was something akin to anger there. Why was Levi acting this way? Was he doing this wrong? And how come now that he was here in this moment, he’d forgotten everything that he wanted to say?

Eren continued valiantly, there was nothing in this world that could stop him now. “I love you Levi. I love you, I love you and I want to spend the rest of my life with you. Will you... will you marry me?” Eren stretched his palm out, and the ring glistened in the moonlight. Then as if by magic, the fireworks began. 

Levi’s mouth hung open in shock, and swirls of pink and green and gold surrounded him as the sky lit up with joy. The sounds of the delighted crowd below them filled the air with happiness, and Levi looked as if he was beginning to tear up. This was it! This was the glorious, picturesque moment that he’d been dreaming of. Sure, it had bend a little rushed, and he hadn’t said everything that he wanted to, but that didn’t matter. Levi was here in front of him, the fireworks were popping and dancing behind him, it was amazing! Then all of a sudden Levi’s brow furrowed, and he bared his teeth in annoyance, and as quickly as Eren’s heart had been set ablaze it went out in an instant. 

This wasn’t supposed to be happening... 

Levi was supposed to be smiling... to be running into his arms and hugging him and kissing him and... accepting his proposal...

“Levi? D-Did you hear me? I... I said...’ 

“I know what you said!” Levi yelled over the noise of the fireworks. His posture wad rigid, his face poisoned by something that resembled rage. “You idiot!” 

“I... I don’t understand... I...” 

“Do you know how long I’ve been planning this for!?” 

Eren gazed on at him, stunned. Levi simply reached into his pocket, pulling out...

“A ring?”

“Yes it’s a ring,” Levi tried his best to sound angry right now, he really did, but his lips were curving up into a smile before he could stop them. “Me and Hange had been talking about this damn rooftop proposal for ages now! And now that we’re finally here you go and steal it! That’s just dirty Jaeger.” 

“You... were gonna...” Eren was shocked; more than shocked, absolutely gobsmacked. He hadn’t been expecting Levi to propose to him tonight, in fact he wasn’t expecting him to ever propose. 

“I wanted it to be all sweet and romantic with the fireworks in the background and everything. Erwin had even given me some corny lines to say to you as I asked, but nooooo you had to swoop in the steal the proposal from me. Not only that but you messed it up and mumbled all the way through! I’ll give you a B+ for effort.” Levi’s tone was more playful than serious at this point, but Eren could feel the sting of a little truth behind his words. That sting however was absolutely overwhelmed by the feeling of pure pride, of utter, unmistakable happiness that he felt in his soul. 

“So that means that,” Eren almost stumbled over his words as his voice fell out high pitched and tearful. “We’re getting... we’re getting married!” Levi didn’t even have time to respond before Eren was on him, arms underneath his legs as he lifted him up to the sky. Their lips met in a perfect union, but they still tried to speak. It was as if they were as desperate to speak as they were to kiss, and no matter how hard they tried they couldn’t decide which of the two they wanted the most. 

“We’re getting married, Eren. I love you.” 

“I just... I can’t believe it!” Eren could feel tears rolling down the sides of his face as he spoke. The product of his overwhelming happiness overflowing from his body. “I thought that you didn’t want to marry me for a second there.”

“Well start believing it,” Levi told him, hands moving up to snake through his long hair as he kissed him deeper, fireworks painting the night sky behind them. “Because you’re gonna be stuck with me for the rest of your life, whether you like it or not.” 

Eren beamed, pulling back from the kiss for a moment. “Levi, give me your hand.” Levi smiled sweetly, lifting his left hand up, ready to become Eren’s for life. Eren took one of his arms away, holding up Levi’s weight with just one arm as he placed the ring onto his love’s delicate finger. It fit perfectly, and Levi’s smile widened when he saw how it looked on his finger. 

It was stunning, and it felt like home. 

“Now let me do you,” Levi told him, rummaging for Eren’s hand, pulling it up in front of his face. He slid his own ring onto Eren’s finger, pushing a little harder over the thick knuckle. It was simple, just a golden band, but to Eren it meant the world. “I was gonna get it inscribed,” Levi told him, pushing a long strand of hair behind Eren’s ear as he gazed into his big, green eyes. “But I didn’t know what to get.” 

Eren pushed his hand back under Levi’s leg, supporting the smaller man a little more. “I have an idea,” he told him, giving his love that signature, devilish smirk. The fire burned in his eyes again, that same fire that had powered Eren through his darkest moments, the flame that had stayed lit for Levi and nobody else for the longest time. Levi noticed, and his face fell into a similar expression. 

“So, Levi,” Eren began, voice smooth and low. “Have you ever fucked on a rooftop before?” 

“Tch,” Levi huffed, rolling his eyes before bringing them back to meet Eren’s. “And you thought that I wouldn’t wanna marry you.” 

The two fell back into a kiss so naturally, their hands running over each other bodies as if they owned each other. There were no inhibitions, no fear, no judgement, just love. 

After everything that had happened, after all of the pain and the heartbreak and the wrongdoings, here the two of them were back in each other’s arms where they belonged. Eren could barely believe what was happening, half convinced that he was in some kind of delusional state, or a coma. Surely he didn’t deserve this man, not after everything that he’d put him through, not after what he’d done. 

Surely Levi deserved someone else, someone different, but it was hard to think about that right now when the man’s tongue was dancing up against his own so perfectly. Eren gripped him tighter, holding him as if he were the most precious thing in the world because to Eren, he was. 

Eren had been broken so many times, he’d lost so many pieces of himself that he wasn’t sure if he could ever be put back together. It may have been a battlefield, and it may have almost cost Eren his life, and Levi his damn sanity, but all of the hard work had paid off in the end. All it had taken was a little love, a little passion and one person who truly cared about him, and now here Eren was, completely whole again.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Ok so here's the bits that are super important to me: 
> 
> First of all, thank you all so much for reading this fic! It's been absolutely amazing for me and I've loved every minute of it! 
> 
> Secondly: I'm actually going to be re-writing this fic as an original work with my own characters! Aaaaand, it'll be on Ao3! If anyone wants to support me with it or read it then follow my other account that I'll be uploading it on! 
> 
> https://archiveofourown.org/users/CyanDragonfly
> 
> I'm planning to make this version a bit darker so just a heads up for if you do read it! Finally, since I'll be re-writing it, feel free to give me any criticism on the fic in general, and please tell me what worked well too so I can keep doing that :) 
> 
> This whole experience has really meant so much to me and I absolutely love all of you for reading this and supporting me <3 It might sound kind of weird to say because it's just a fic, but I love writing and this is one of the best things that's ever happened to me in my life, so honestly thank you all very, very much <3


	55. Just A Note

Hey! Sorry if any of you thought this was another chapter, it's just a little note! I've mentioned before that I was going to be posting this fic as an original work with my own characters: Well I uploaded it today and it would mean the world to me if you guys would kudos and comment and show it a little support! 

 

 

<https://archiveofourown.org/works/19153477/chapters/45523126>

 

This is the link to it! 

If anybody fancies a re-read then give it a go, it's a little different and a lot more fleshed out with more content. Thank you all <3 


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